1 00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,707 (Snoring) 2 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,310 - And we're back! - Oh, my God. 3 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:15,714 Look, I know teething's tough on Emma's gums, 4 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,783 but it's worse on my feet. I've been walking around the block since 5:00 A.M. 5 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,084 To calm her down. 6 00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:21,387 If she's not moving, she's not not screaming. 7 00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:24,390 Dude, bro, trust me. You do not have to tell the guy 8 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,692 who is using the muffin as his pillow. 9 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,395 It's like living with a velociraptor. 10 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:32,297 Just... (Screeching) 11 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,000 But all is forgiven. 12 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,703 She found me the one... my perfect girl. 13 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,004 She snagged some girl's phone off the counter 14 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,999 when we stopped for coffee. 15 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,675 It amazes me what she shoves into that stroller. 16 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:46,845 I once found half a sandwich and a bus pass. 17 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,848 Look, her name's Sydney, and we were made for each other. 18 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,383 She takes tons of awesome selfies. 19 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,719 I take tons of awesome selfies. 20 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,754 She went to Australia on vacation. 21 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,423 I... generally know where Australia is. 22 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,224 - (Mutters) - (Exhales) 23 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,859 I'm telling you, man. She could quite possibly 24 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,529 be my first soul mate. 25 00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:07,099 Ben, that is an invasion of privacy. 26 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,334 Plus, she's got a boatload of hot friends. 27 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,469 - Give me that. - It's... it's... 28 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,404 give me... yeah. My turn. 29 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:15,874 - (Cellphone rings) - Oh oh! Maybe that's her. 30 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,242 - Here here. - All right, come here. 31 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,977 There we go. 32 00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:22,448 Hello. Hot girl named Sydney's phone. 33 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,917 Yes yes! I did find it. 34 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,919 No no, I didn't look through it. 35 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:29,922 Although, you do have a dental appointment today at two. 36 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:32,491 (Chuckles) I wouldn't go ahead and say "lifesaver." 37 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:36,161 Just your everyday, average, single hero. 38 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,729 Did I say single? 39 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,499 (Babbles) 40 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,934 Yeah yeah, hey. 41 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:44,103 I get half a sandwich and a bus pass? 42 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,504 He gets a girl? 43 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,306 You owe me, baby. I will bite... 44 00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:50,742 - (screams playfully) - (Gobbling sounds) 45 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,344 (Theme music playing) 46 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,347 ♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪ 47 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:58,750 ♪ can take your life and change direction. ♪ 48 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:04,456 Okay, so, what do you think? 49 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,158 I have to look perfect. 50 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,759 You look great. 51 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:08,750 But why do you even care? I thought you were just 52 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,429 meeting some old friend from summer camp. 53 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,297 No, Danny, not just any friend. 54 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,333 I mean, Heather was my best friend. 55 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,268 Heather? You hated her. 56 00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:19,138 She ruined every one of your summers 57 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,130 from eight to 18, 58 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,540 and then you ruined every one of mine 59 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,475 calling home to complain about her. 60 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,512 All right, yes, we may have had our differences. 61 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,480 And yes, she may have beaten me at field hockey 62 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,150 and archery and every other thing that I ever entered. 63 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,485 And yes, she may have stolen my boyfriend Jacob, 64 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,478 even though she could have had any other guy 65 00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:36,922 in the entire camp, you know, because she's Heather 66 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,023 and she's perfect. 67 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,392 And you know what? Rumor had it, 68 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:42,261 she'd let you touch 'em. 69 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,563 Under the bra. 70 00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:48,267 Why didn't I go to camp? 71 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:52,905 My point is, I'm a lawyer now... 72 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:57,576 Living on my own in the most Cosmopolitan city in the world, 73 00:02:57,578 --> 00:03:00,112 so in the game of life I have won! 74 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,615 And it'll be really nice to see her. 75 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:07,452 Whoo! Yeah! 76 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:11,323 I just had one of the most amazing conversations of my entire life. 77 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,320 Which is kinda sad, 78 00:03:12,321 --> 00:03:14,459 because you were just alone in there with Emma. 79 00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,228 (Laughs) No. 80 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,996 Sydney... I found her phone. 81 00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,565 And when we finally meet face-to-face, 82 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,867 hopefully we'll wind up face on face, 83 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,302 if you know what I mean. 84 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,903 Yeah, we always know. 85 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,371 (Door opens) 86 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,440 It's official! I'm a bench. 87 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,877 Well, I wouldn't go that far, 88 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,079 but you are kinda moody. 89 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,482 I said bench! 90 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,850 (Door closes) 91 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,953 No. 92 00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:42,554 My first realtor ad 93 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:46,158 soon to be on bus benches across the city. 94 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,327 Well, one bench. 95 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,995 You have no idea how much it costs 96 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,563 to have people sit on your face. 97 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:57,402 All right, and ladies and gentlemen... 98 00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:02,541 This is the new look on Manhattan real estate! 99 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,476 - Wow, you look so good! - Oh, my God, is that you... 100 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:07,346 - Wow, my God, best photo ever! - ...Or a supermodel? 101 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,481 What happened?! 102 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,017 Oh, that photographer was an idiot! 103 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:15,654 I told that stupid moron he better not screw it up. 104 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,490 And I think we know what happened. 105 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,959 You guys, I look like grandma! 106 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:26,231 (Screaming) 107 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,228 (Both giggling) 108 00:04:27,229 --> 00:04:28,934 Oh, my gosh, Heather, it is so good to see you. 109 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,302 You look amazing. 110 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,604 And you haven't changed at all. 111 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,539 Well, I lost 90 pounds, 112 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:37,276 two feet of hair and a speech impediment. 113 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:39,278 Well... 114 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,446 You look exactly the same to me. 115 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,282 So how have you been? Tell me everything! 116 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:46,285 Uh, well, I'm a lawyer now, 117 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:49,221 so I've been pretty busy enforcing the law. 118 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:50,689 That is so crazy. 119 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,125 So am I! 120 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,960 Actually, I just made partner. 121 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,495 Youngest in the firm. 122 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,297 That's why they moved me out here. 123 00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,499 - (Both chuckle) - Partner? 124 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,490 - Really? - Yeah. 125 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,669 God. Well, who wants to talk about work, right? 126 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,471 Um, so, I heard through the grapevine 127 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,173 that you're living with your parents again. 128 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,641 (Exhales) Bummer. 129 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,476 I live alone. 130 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,478 You're so lucky. 131 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,515 It's gonna take like two months to renovate the new condo I just bought. 132 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:19,217 You bought? 133 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,218 Can you... just... 134 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,320 can you excuse me for a second? 135 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,387 I'm gonna use the ladies' room. 136 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,624 Take your time. 137 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:27,726 I'm sure you wanna fix your hair. 138 00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,536 Danny, get down here right now. 139 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,706 I'm losing the game of life! 140 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:41,807 No, I'm not calling you about a board game. 141 00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:47,646 Bonnie: Okay, Tucker, I need an expert opinion. 142 00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:51,316 Which picture should I use for my new ad? 143 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:54,453 Oh, Mrs. Wheeler, you have come to the right place. 144 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,154 I work in TV, 145 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,590 and shining up crap is what I do for a living. 146 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,395 What you need is a slogan. 147 00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,364 Something that will grab people's attention 148 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,100 and make them say, "I must have this Bonnie Wheeler woman" 149 00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:10,102 oh, yeah yeah. How about this? 150 00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:11,103 - Um... - Okay. 151 00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,704 "If I can't find you a pad, 152 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,773 oops, my bad." 153 00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:17,275 (Mouthing) 154 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,478 Ohh, thank God you're here. 155 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,480 I'm over an hour late to meet my dream girl. 156 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,648 Here. Emma finally just stopped crying. 157 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,384 This teething thing bites. 158 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,620 That's why God invented rum. 159 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,555 Mom, they don't give liquor to babies anymore. 160 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,058 I wasn't talking about the baby. 161 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,526 (Cellphone rings) 162 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,695 (Gasps) Oh, my God, it's her again. 163 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,363 Hey, Sydney. 164 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,031 No no, I'll be there in 20 minutes. 165 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,667 - (Sydney shouting) - You don't mean that. 166 00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,136 Or that. 167 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:45,237 Oh, come on. That was just mean. 168 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,405 (Cellphone beeps) 169 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,400 Now what am I gonna do? 170 00:06:47,401 --> 00:06:49,508 She hates me, and she hasn't even met me yet. 171 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,477 Ben, I heard her screaming from all the way over here. 172 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,480 Look, if I were you, I would go find some other Ben Wheeler 173 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,715 to go give her back her phone. 174 00:06:56,717 --> 00:07:00,619 Oh, my God. That's such a good idea. 175 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,587 You can go give her back the phone. 176 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,289 And when she's done screaming at you, 177 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:07,125 also known as me, I'll swoop in and be not me. 178 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,293 Tucker, you're a genius. 179 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:09,694 No no no no no. 180 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,730 Last time I heard "Tucker, you're a genius," 181 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,832 I ended up in zoo jail. 182 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,334 But you got to hold the koala. 183 00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:20,138 That's true. (Chuckles) 184 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,607 Ooh! I got it. 185 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,609 "Bonnie Wheeler... 186 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,446 Keepin' it real... Tor." 187 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:28,613 Yeah? 188 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:32,484 - (Emma screams) - Yeah! Huh? 189 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,352 Okay, so, here's what's gonna happen. 190 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,350 You're gonna see me from across the room, 191 00:07:36,351 --> 00:07:39,357 find me just wildly attractive and come over and hit on me. 192 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,693 Got it. What's my backstory? 193 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,595 You're a hockey player... 194 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:46,865 Ohh, that's good. I can play that. 195 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:50,535 Okay, who really really likes me. 196 00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:51,536 I can play that too. 197 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:54,239 Okay. 198 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,474 I'm goin' in. 199 00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:58,176 And then I said, "no, you're out of order." 200 00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,168 (All laugh) 201 00:07:59,169 --> 00:08:01,546 All right, shoo shoo shoo shoo, with all of you boys. 202 00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:04,182 Sorry, we're having a conversation here. Bye bye bye bye. 203 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,351 Oh, God, I am so sorry. 204 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,487 Things are just crazy at the office. 205 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:11,523 Depositions, contracts, finishing my novel. 206 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:14,526 Excuse me, I just saw you from across the room 207 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,194 and find you wildly attractive. 208 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,597 I just had to come and hit on you. 209 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:22,601 Oh, my gosh. That is so sweet. 210 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,570 (Exhales) I'm a hockey player. 211 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:28,440 Really? I love hockey. 212 00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:29,674 I used to play in high school. 213 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,143 Seriously? That is so cool. 214 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:35,647 Okay. No, you didn't, no, she didn't. 215 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:39,150 Well, I bet I can score on you any day. 216 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,453 Oh-ho, I don't know... 217 00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:43,255 I'm a professional. 218 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:46,157 (Chuckles) I wasn't talking about skating. 219 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,326 Neither was I. 220 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,629 Okay. Hey hey. Over here, let's focus. 221 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:54,466 We probably shouldn't make my friend over here feel like a third wheel. 222 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:58,503 So how about you call me later? 223 00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,772 Sure. What's your number? 224 00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:04,676 Oh! The card, right. 225 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,678 I should probably go. 226 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,514 (Exhales) Oh, my God. 227 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:10,949 How cute was he? 228 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,584 Well, thank God you liked him, 229 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,653 'cause I was like, "blech!" You know? 230 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,391 Ooh, there she is. 231 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,393 Okay, just a quick "Here you go", and then get out of my way. 232 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,460 Okay, cool. But after this, 233 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,795 I'm gonna need you to be me at work, 234 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,865 and return a stapler to a large woman named Janet. 235 00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:32,337 Sydney? Ben. Here's your phone. 236 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,329 Oh, I'd say "nice to meet you," 237 00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:37,475 but that ship sailed about three lattes and two muffins ago. 238 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,245 Well, pardon me for having a life. 239 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,814 Oh, do you? That's so great. 240 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,649 I wonder what that's like. 241 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:47,586 Hey, girl, I came all the way uptown for this. 242 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,654 The least you could do is say "thanks." 243 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,856 (Sarcastically) Thanks. 244 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,526 Ooh, I do not like your tone. 245 00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:56,428 - What is... - Excuse me, is this guy bothering you? 246 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,996 Oh, he certainly is. 247 00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,932 Well, then I'm gonna have to ask you to leave this woman alone. 248 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,000 Run along now. 249 00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:07,872 (Both chuckle) 250 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:08,873 Thank you. 251 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,775 That guy was such a jerk. 252 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,645 - I'm Sydney. - Pleasure to meet you. 253 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,348 I'm... Tucker. 254 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,582 Tucker dobbs. 255 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,755 Tucker, you, my friend, were perfect. 256 00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,924 Thank you. Sydney is amazing. 257 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,326 Yeah yeah, she's something, all right. 258 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:31,563 Ha! Well, it doesn't really matter what you think about her, Ben, 259 00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:34,399 because Tucker got her number and he plans to use it. 260 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,533 (Cellphone rings) 261 00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:38,737 Uh-oh. 262 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,639 Sydney's got Ben's number and is using it. 263 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:43,408 To video chat. Dude, what does she want?! 264 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,943 Here, you have to be me. Answer it! 265 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,778 Answer it! 266 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,447 (Beeps) 267 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,483 Hello, Sydney. 268 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,018 Ben, I'm so sorry. 269 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,387 I don't know what came over me today, 270 00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:58,056 but the truth is, you're really cute. 271 00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,425 And I've been thinking about you all day. 272 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,561 Aw, I've been thinking about you too. 273 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,896 No, you haven't. 274 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,564 Ask about me! 275 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,400 So, what about that other guy? 276 00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:10,702 The Mr. "hey, is this guy bothering you?" 277 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:13,538 (Chuckles) Tucker, he was nice. 278 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,975 But he's not the guy I talked to on the phone for two hours this morning. 279 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,910 Yes, he is! 280 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:22,681 So, I was wondering, maybe, we could try that again sometime. 281 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,516 Are you asking me out? 282 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,551 No! She's asking me out. 283 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,486 You're just the face of this operation. 284 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,554 Now use it to tell her no. 285 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,423 - Fine. - Okay. 286 00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:32,957 Sorry about that. 287 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,493 So... 288 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,394 When did you wanna get together? 289 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,962 Oh, you... 290 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,390 for the last time, I'm sorry. 291 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,502 What was I supposed to do? Just ignore her? 292 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,371 Yes yes. You could ignore her, 293 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,373 'cause that was the whole point of the whole thing. 294 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,508 Then I am so canceling our date tonight. 295 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,676 You made a date with her? 296 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:52,669 No! 297 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,480 We were just gonna go out for a drink... 298 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:56,581 And dinner. 299 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,416 Danny... you know what? Go. 300 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,517 I don't even care. 301 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,086 I'm sure Heather would actually implode 302 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,154 if somebody canceled on her. 303 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,656 You know what? 304 00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:06,458 That is actually a really good idea. 305 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:09,427 Hey hey hey, I don't need some girl imploding all over me. 306 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:12,130 No no no, I think it's time to do unto Heather 307 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,399 as Heather has done unto me. 308 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,868 You are so keeping that date. 309 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,936 Oh, my God. 310 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,938 (Reading sign) 311 00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:24,042 What exactly is your mother selling? 312 00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,577 Hey, kids! 313 00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,746 So, what do you think of the new bench? 314 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,739 I'm getting loads of calls. 315 00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:33,151 Apparently, there are tons of men in this city without apartments. 316 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,152 (Cellphone rings) 317 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,488 And there is one now. 318 00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:38,656 Yello? 319 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,492 Yes, this is Bonnie. 320 00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:42,494 Yeah, well, I don't know if the curtains match the drapes. 321 00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:43,495 It's a new listing. 322 00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:44,896 Mom! Mom! Mom. 323 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,931 I think it might have been helpful if you'd mention 324 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,399 that you were selling real estate. 325 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,468 What else would I be selling? 326 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,140 Oh, my God. I have to cancel some appointments. 327 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,641 (Gasps) 328 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,477 How could the company logo get left off? 329 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,880 Tucker said he would take care of everything. 330 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,549 He came up with the slogan, and he said that he would proof it for me 331 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,084 and make sure that no... 332 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,186 oh, Tucker! 333 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,721 Hi, guys. 334 00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,923 Oh, cool, it's up. 335 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,925 Huh. You know, now that I see it, 336 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,760 you kind of look like a prostitute. 337 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,195 You think?! 338 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,464 Oh, my God! 339 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,500 Okay, listen, you filthy old pervert, 340 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,136 never call this number again! 341 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,872 Oh. Sorry, grandma. (Chuckles nervously) 342 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,609 Emma, go like this. 343 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,711 Let me see how many you got. Huh? 344 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,146 Oh, my God! 345 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,481 Oh, my God, Ben, you gotta help me. 346 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,549 I'm not talking to you. 347 00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:38,950 I wasn't gonna go out with her! 348 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:41,019 (Running footsteps approaching) 349 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,155 Where is he?! 350 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,190 Bedroom. 351 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:47,225 You are dead! 352 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:48,193 Aah! 353 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,194 Oh, my God. 354 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,229 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 355 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,231 No! No! 356 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,167 No no! Oh, fake-out! 357 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,536 Aah! 358 00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,537 Ha ha ha! 359 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,105 Oh, no, you don't! 360 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,100 (Pounding on door) 361 00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:05,276 And why would you wanna go out with someone who wants to go out with me? 362 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,477 She doesn't wanna go out with you; 363 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:07,679 She wants to go out with me. 364 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,781 Okay? So this is what's gonna happen... 365 00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:11,683 you're gonna go out with Sydney and you're gonna be the biggest jerk who ever lived. 366 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,151 But I don't even know how to be a jerk. 367 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,587 Don't worry. I do. 368 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:20,124 Tucker, open up. I'm not mad anymore. 369 00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:27,828 All right, Heather should be here any minute. 370 00:14:27,829 --> 00:14:29,901 Oh, God, I can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees us together. 371 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,603 I kinda feel bad about this. 372 00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,571 Oh, yeah yeah, whatever. Take your shirt off. 373 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,874 - Are you sure? - Oh, my God, come on. Work with me here, Wheeler. 374 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,242 We have to make this look really good. 375 00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:42,914 Now, uh, get down on the couch. 376 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:43,982 Let's do this. 377 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,583 Uh... 378 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,018 How long are you gonna be on top of me? 379 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,786 Oh, God, sorry. Am I too heavy? 380 00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,255 That is so not the problem. 381 00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:54,125 - (Knocking on door) - Hello? Danny, are you... 382 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,027 (gasps) Oh, my God. 383 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,997 Danny? Riley? 384 00:14:58,999 --> 00:14:59,931 What is going on? 385 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,165 Oh, no, Heather, 386 00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:04,702 this is so not what it looks like. 387 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:08,706 Actually, it's exactly what it looks like. 388 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,275 Oops. 389 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,543 What is wrong with you?! 390 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,013 I can't believe you would do this to me! 391 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:19,884 Yes! 392 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:24,188 That was awesome! I won! I finally won! 393 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:27,225 Oh, my God, it's like she couldn't even comprehend what was happening. 394 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:29,961 And did you see the look on her face? 395 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:32,797 That was the face of defeat. 396 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,700 That was my face. She was me! 397 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,036 Which means... 398 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,771 That I was her. 399 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,842 Oh, my God. 400 00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,844 Oh. Ew. God, I'm a horrible person. 401 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,212 Oh, why didn't you say something? 402 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,983 We have to go after her. Are you coming? 403 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,886 Um, no, you go on ahead. I'm just gonna stay here for a minute or two. 404 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:57,855 No reason. 405 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,060 Ben, this just is not going to work. 406 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:06,130 I mean, let's face it. I am just too darn lovable. 407 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,199 Don't worry. I'll walk you through it. 408 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,767 Just do everything I say. 409 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:10,835 Oh, here she comes. Here she comes. 410 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,937 - Here you go. - (Chuckles) 411 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,706 Oh! I know exactly what to say. 412 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,874 (Clears throat) 413 00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,176 I hope you brought a lot of cash, 414 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,979 because I'm planning on getting trashed! 415 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,046 (Both laughing) 416 00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:24,048 And I hope you're ready for trouble, 417 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:26,351 'cause I'm ready to see double! 418 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,886 Ho ho! 419 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:32,623 Oh, my God. She really is the perfect woman. 420 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,360 Oh, there she is. 421 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,628 Let me just talk to her alone for a second. 422 00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:42,233 Hey, you workin' or lurkin'? 423 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,768 Lurkin'. Tucker's being me, 424 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:44,936 and I'm being him. 425 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,105 Fun! Who am I? 426 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,173 You're just you, okay? 427 00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:52,977 I'm trying to break up with a girl who's impervious 428 00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,412 to even my jerkiest moves. 429 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:58,783 Both: ♪ and the home of the... 430 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,051 (Both belch loudly) 431 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,153 (Laughs) 432 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,994 (SIGHS) 433 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,796 Heather. 434 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,998 I owe you a huge apology, 435 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,366 because what you saw back there, 436 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,368 it wasn't even real. 437 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,736 The guy is a friend of mine. 438 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,705 I don't understand. 439 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,006 I guess I just wanted to feel like 440 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,175 I'd finally won at something. 441 00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:28,146 And I wanted to hurt you the way that you hurt me when you stole Jacob. 442 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,948 Who's Jacob? 443 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,051 Jacob. (Scoffs) 444 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,019 My boyfriend at summer camp. 445 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,722 My first kiss. My second base. 446 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,957 You never had a boyfriend at summer camp. 447 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:43,761 Uh, yeah, I did until you swooped in with your quick-release bra. 448 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,098 Okay, let me start over. 449 00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,701 Now just tell her you're looking to scam with someone, 450 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,070 not actually date right now. 451 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,704 Oh oh, I know, I know. 452 00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,040 Tell her her hair smells nice. 453 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,342 You are so bad at this. 454 00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:00,378 This why I had to learn everything I know off the streets. 455 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,280 Hey! I know how to get girls. 456 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,448 I'm meeting up with one right now. 457 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,449 And I have to say, 458 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,751 she's pretty hot. 459 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:07,952 And in the end, I just realized 460 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,888 what a horrible person I was becoming. 461 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,924 And by horrible, you mean just like me? 462 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,792 Oh, my God. So you do understand? 463 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:17,728 Friends again? 464 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,731 So, are you ready to kiss and make up? 465 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,100 I know I am. 466 00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,903 Oh, good, I was hoping you two would be here. 467 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:26,971 I did it. 468 00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:30,074 I made it clear what I was selling. 469 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,844 And now I can go back to just giving the other part away. 470 00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:35,913 Hey, hooker heels, hold this. 471 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:40,218 And... (Imitates drum roll) 472 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,886 Ha! 473 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,387 Wheeler? 474 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:45,957 You aren't related to a Ben Wheeler, are you? 475 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,391 Oh, yeah. He's my brother. 476 00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,160 Weren't you like totally in love with that guy? 477 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:51,529 Seriously, it was like all you ever talked about. 478 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,264 - No no, it wasn't. - Yeah. 479 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:56,267 Yeah, I'm pretty sure Ben Wheeler was the name of the pillow 480 00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,835 you were always making out with. 481 00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,038 Are you guys looking for a Ben Wheeler? 482 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,407 'Cause I'm having drinks with him over there. 483 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:05,143 Oh. 484 00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,911 Oh, no, that's not Ben. That's Tucker. 485 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,080 - No, it's not. - Oh, no. 486 00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,516 That's Tucker, all right. That son of a bench. 487 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,952 A word, tuck tuck? 488 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,287 - Oh, my God! - Oh! 489 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,822 No! Really? 490 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,824 - Yeah! - No. 491 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,459 No! Oh! 492 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,827 Oh, God! 493 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,296 It was lovely to meet you. 494 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,297 Ben! 495 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:29,066 No no no no no. Actually, I'm Ben. 496 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:31,169 What the hell is going on? 497 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,004 It's kind of a long story. 498 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,039 - Try me. - Okay. 499 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,942 Well, I liked you and you liked me, 500 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,911 but then you got mad, so I sent him in to be me, 501 00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:40,908 but then you liked him. 502 00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:42,480 But he was just pretending to be me. 503 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,482 So I sent him in to be me to make you not like him, 504 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:45,850 but it turned out you liked him, 505 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:48,219 which means you like me. 506 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,356 It's actually kinda simple when you think about it. 507 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,327 Well, unfortunately, I, who's also me, 508 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,162 doesn't really like either one of you anymore. 509 00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:01,866 In fact, you, meaning you... 510 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,001 Are kind of a jerk. 511 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,275 Hey, what are you doing here? 512 00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:12,944 I don't wanna get in the way of anything. 513 00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:14,979 You know, if you have any overnight guests. 514 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:18,216 - Riley, it's not... - Just let me finish. 515 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:20,184 I never should have put you in that position. 516 00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:23,521 And if you like Heather, then I am totally fine 517 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,889 with the two of you going out. 518 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:25,880 We're not going out. 519 00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:27,625 She kinda disappeared right after you left. 520 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,126 Oh, thank God. 'Cause that last thing I said 521 00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,495 - I really didn't mean it. - (Door opens) 522 00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:34,031 Oh. 523 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,167 Oh, morning, Riley. 524 00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,535 Danny, I thought you just said that... 525 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,604 don't look at me. She's not mine. 526 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,140 - Good morning. Hi. - Good morning. 527 00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:48,045 Hey, have you guys met Heather yet? 528 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:51,515 Well played. 529 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,392 Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. 530 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,094 Hold it up, grandpa. Move along, all right? 531 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,562 I'm selling dreams here. Okay? Yeah. 532 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,098 Shuffle along. Go go go go go go. 533 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:11,102 Bonnie Wheeler, family realtor. 534 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:13,104 Bonnie Wheeler, just a single mom 535 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:15,206 trying to make a living. 536 00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,508 Bonnie Wheeler, hot property. 537 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,343 You know, just babysitting. She's not mine. 538 00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:21,245 Oh, yeah. I got all day. 539 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,314 I got nowhere to be. Walk slow.