1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,262
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:10,269
(SINGING) Got too much
time and nowhere to go
3
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:17,692
But I drink enough
to say hello
4
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:25,409
I'm not in love
with anyone
5
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:31,536
But I'm high enough
not to give a...
6
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,709
God damn it!
7
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,252
Cut! Okay.
8
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,204
Whoa! Cut it, fellas!
9
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,631
Man, I am
blowing this jug.
10
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,128
What the hell is
wrong with you?
11
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,801
You are what's
wrong with me!
12
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,549
It's 5:50 in
the goddamn morning!
13
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,972
Uh, duh! It's called
the golden hour.
14
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,183
The... The light takes
on a special quality.
15
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,680
I know what
it means, but...
16
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,057
Then you know it's the best
time to record stuff, so...
17
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,889
Film! It's the best time
to record things on film.
18
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,852
It cannot possibly have any
effect on recording audio.
19
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,819
Oh! Was I supposed to
be recording that?
20
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,316
Krieger!
God damn it.
21
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,277
(SCREAMS) We're losing
the light!
22
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,404
We're not losing
me blowing this jug.
23
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,780
Are you bothering them?
24
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,237
l am, and also,
happy Opposite Day.
25
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,243
Is she bothering you?
ALL: Yes!
26
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,949
Stop bothering them.
They're the ones...
27
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,034
They are trying to
make a record, Lana,
28
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:18,712
and there is a finite
amount of golden hour.
29
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:19,754
Which, again...
30
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,673
I know, but if
Cherlene's happy...
31
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,342
Outlaw country! Whoo!
32
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,759
Whoo! Exactly.
Then I am happy.
33
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,432
Or at least I will be, once we
start selling some records.
34
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,100
I'll be happy when
I can sleep without
35
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,893
getting up to pee
every six minutes.
36
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,767
You think you're
not sleeping now?
37
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,098
Wait till that
thing's born.
38
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,274
So do yourself
and those bosoms
39
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,568
of yours a favor,
and get a wet nurse.
40
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,862
That cannot
still be a thing.
41
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,655
Preferably one
who cooks.
42
00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,779
We had a Dominican,
just lovely.
43
00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:51,613
Bosoms like... Well, like yours,
but umpteen babies later.
44
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,198
My God, Sterling loved her.
45
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,625
She was with us
nearly four years.
46
00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:01,171
Now what was her name?
I want to say Mariela.
47
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,715
Maricela? Wait.
Or Ruby?
48
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:06,301
I don't... The point is,
they steal from you.
49
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,219
It's just the cost
of doing business.
50
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,297
Oh. Steal what?
51
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,179
We haven't been paid in months, Malory.
I'm pretty much broke.
52
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,603
(SCOFFS) Join the club. Because
believe me, if I had the money,
53
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,648
I would get the hell out
of this hillbilly Hilton.
54
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,771
Am I supposed to
be recording this?
55
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,648
Krieger!
Watch it!
56
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,400
God damn it!
Whoa! Ow!
57
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,982
Jug down!
58
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,238
As difficult
as that would be.
59
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,913
I'ma plant a red
fern for you, jug.
60
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,537
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
61
00:02:40,890 --> 00:02:51,002
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)
62
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:17,373
MALORY: Item one.
Woodhouse, scrape.
63
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,915
Yes, ma'am.
64
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,079
(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)
65
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,374
And gripe all you want, but no
one is eating eggs, Woodhouse,
66
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,751
until you people start
bringing in some money!
67
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,048
But they were already cooked.
68
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,922
What good does it do
to throw them away?
69
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,877
None! That's the whole point.
70
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,305
And no cocaine
donuts for you!
71
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,381
Oh, come on!
72
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,092
(MUFFLED) I got to load up my
body before Krieger sells it all.
73
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,472
Before what?
74
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,930
Krieger's selling
the cocaine online.
75
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,764
MALORY: Are you insane?
76
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,350
Yeah, if it's
insane to use
77
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,562
an X-gen asymmetric onion router
and digital cryptocurrency
78
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:52,241
to sell your cocaine anonymously
and completely risk-free.
79
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,158
Or a lot of
the other shit I do.
80
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,737
But... So do people
e-mail you, or...
81
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,915
No. It's like shopping
online, only for cocaine.
82
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:04,086
I've already sold, wow,
almost 800 grand worth.
83
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,414
Really? But how
do we get paid?
84
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,419
With a totally untraceable
digital currency
85
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,219
that we can exchange for real
US dollars whenever we want.
86
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,137
I call 'em Kriegerrands.
87
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,306
And then how do
they get the cocaine?
88
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,349
We pack it up and ship it.
Easy-peasy.
89
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,268
At least in theory.
90
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,515
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
91
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,644
Oh, for...
I'll send up some help.
92
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:28,147
And, missy,
you had better watch it.
93
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,398
(ARCHER MUNCHING)
94
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,952
Jesus, these taste
like calluses.
95
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,574
Ew! Gross.
That's so accurate.
96
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,030
ARCHER: Lana.
97
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,207
Lana.
98
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,283
La... (MUMBLING)
99
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:53,127
What's up her
gigantic giant ass?
100
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:54,336
Probably you shitheads!
101
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,466
What did we do?
102
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,513
Besides keeping
everybody up all night
103
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,761
with your damn
hootenannies...
104
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,638
Wait, that was
a hootenanny?
105
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,344
Has anybody even
thought about
106
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,429
throwing her
a goddamn baby shower?
107
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,270
Ew!
You mean a bastard... Ow!
108
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,900
Cyril, shut your pouthole,
109
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,444
accept the fact that Lana was
so far out of your league
110
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:15,320
that impregnating her would've
basically been interspecies breeding,
111
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,821
and get on
with your life!
112
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,324
And then go get a cake.
Okay, Ray...
113
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,781
Ray, Cyril, go help
Krieger pack the cocaine.
114
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:26,289
Uh, Cherlene, go pick or grin or something.
And the rest of you...
115
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,496
We're throwing
Lana a baby shower.
116
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,376
We haven't
done that yet?
117
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,207
I said move, people!
118
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,634
Go. so. so. so. 90!
(RAY BRAYING)
119
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:35,835
Idiots.
120
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,514
All right, I need them here making
music and packaging cocaine,
121
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,512
so this baby
shower is up to you.
122
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,685
Don't cock it up
like you did Texas.
123
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,852
Hey!
124
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:45,929
Oh, blow it out
your ass!
125
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,061
(BREAKING WIND)
(LAUGHS)
126
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,851
I was hoping
you'd do that.
127
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:51,981
Okay, we should
make a list.
128
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:56,190
Item one, some paper to
write said list on. (GASPS)
129
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:58,901
Item two...
Woodhouse! Get in here!
130
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:01,828
Sir?
Here, here's 400 bucks.
131
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,780
Go get all the stuff
for a baby shower.
132
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,959
Cake, decorations, some of those
water guns shaped like dicks.
133
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,328
I think that's
bachelorette parties.
134
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:12,164
Really? Wow.
Okay, that explains...
135
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,132
Uh... Never mind.
136
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,551
And, Woodhouse, if you spend
any of this on heroin,
137
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,344
you better buy
enough to OD on because...
138
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,546
Will do!
139
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,846
Will don't!
140
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,014
Wait, so if Woodhouse
141
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,592
is getting everything we
need for the party, then...
142
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,848
Oh, not everything, Pam.
143
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,726
Because you and I
are going to get
144
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:32,230
Kenny Loggins to
play Lana's baby shower.
145
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:33,561
God damn it.
146
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,816
Pam. Pam.
147
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,449
(INHALING)
What?
148
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,277
Danger zone.
Wait, wait, wait, no.
149
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,737
This is it.
150
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,572
Yeah, you guys
box it up,
151
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,373
I slap on a mailing
label from the printer,
152
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,288
bing, bang, boom,
it's good to go zoom.
153
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,335
So, why are we
in our underwear?
154
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,505
Eh. Don't worry
about it.
155
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,423
Because it kind of
seems like this is
156
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,296
about you and not
really about Lana.
157
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,128
Okay, A, Lana loves
Kenny Loggins.
158
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,713
Really?
I don't know.
159
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,174
I mean, I assume she does.
I do.
160
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,884
Whoa, whoa! Where you
think you're going?
161
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:09,764
Uh, well, to give
Mr. Loggins his wardrobe.
162
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,223
Not without
a pass you're not.
163
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,558
Yeah, we...
164
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,814
Hey, I appreciate you're
just doing your job,
165
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:15,985
but if Kenny doesn't get
166
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,610
this embroidered hippie shirt and
these gigantic bell-bottoms,
167
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,611
I highly doubt you'll
have a job tomorrow.
168
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,158
Look, he ain't even here.
169
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,530
He's probably
still at the Tuntmore.
170
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,238
Now, was that so
hard, neck nuts?
171
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,289
Good instincts
back there, Pam.
172
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,367
That's what we
field agents call...
173
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,618
Hmm.
174
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,749
Guess I'm not a field
agent anymore though.
175
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,038
(LAUGHS)
176
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,584
Man, you got to miss it.
What a rush!
177
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,881
Yeah, I miss it,
but calm down.
178
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,679
Jesus, it's not
like you killed a guy.
179
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,222
Taxi!
180
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,426
Okay, so phase two may
call for some field craft.
181
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:50,262
A, there's no way a superstar
like Kenny Loggins
182
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,972
is gonna be registered
under his own name.
183
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,308
(LAUGHS) Yeah. It's not
like he's Messina.
184
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,984
Don't do that.
Don't ever do that!
185
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,185
Sorry. Jeez!
186
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,315
You should be.
187
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:01,695
Jim Messina is a genius,
and without him, no Poco.
188
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,234
Where was I?
189
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,819
Oh, yeah, we'll
probably need to access
190
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,279
the computer
terminal at reception,
191
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,614
so just follow my lead.
192
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,699
Could I just follow Kenny Loggins?
Wha...
193
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,704
Well, maybe because
it's in the rider,
194
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,207
which I'll be happy to come down
there and shove up his ass.
195
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,414
Excuse me,
Mr. Loggins?
196
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,544
Hi, I'm...
Uh-huh.
197
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,212
Wha... What?
Uh-huh.
198
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,215
What the shit, Loggins?
Ricky, bad touch.
199
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,341
Hands off Mr. Loggins!
200
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,423
Hands off me, Lurch.
Look at my suit.
201
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,678
Zap, Ricky, Zap!
202
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,388
Hey... Ah.
(TASER CRACKLING)
203
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,060
(PAM SCREAMING)
(ARCHER GROANING)
204
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,888
Ah. Hang on.
Hit him again.
205
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,143
Wait! No, no, no, no, no!
206
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,314
What? I...
(TASER CRACKLING)
207
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,391
(GROANING)
208
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:40,817
What's that? No, no, never mind.
It's just a fan.
209
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:44,775
Oh. (COUGHS) Holy shit zaps!
Are you okay?
210
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,077
Yeah, and I don't
know about you,
211
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,404
but I'm gonna
be pretty upset
212
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:51,205
if I end up having to
murder Kenny Loggins.
213
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:53,616
Meh.
214
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,417
ARCHER: Yeah, that's fair!
215
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:02,171
Kick out the guy whose
custom Super 220 wool suit
216
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,968
was ruined by Kenny Loggins!
217
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,387
And where were
you during all that?
218
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:08,432
(LAUGHING) Oh, man,
I was like, "What?"
219
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,343
So, what's up? What's the plan?
(SCOFFS)
220
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,849
The plan is shut
up and come on.
221
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,849
RAY: No, we have to play
games at the baby shower.
222
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,935
There's Don't Drop the Baby,
Dirty Diaper Game...
223
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:23,318
What in God's name is
the Dirty Diaper Game?
224
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,739
Oh, my God,
it's hilarious.
225
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,407
You get a bunch
of newborn diapers,
226
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,406
then you microwave
different candy bars...
227
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,863
Stop! Yeah, let me
just stop you there,
228
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,288
because if you
finish that sentence,
229
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,957
I'm going to rub cocaine in
your eyes until you are blind.
230
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,663
God damn, Shawshank.
231
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,170
LANA: Uh, Malory?
Wha...
232
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,215
What? What do you want?
Jesus.
233
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:43,291
I, um...
234
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:47,424
Okay, so, as you know, or should
know, I'm pregnant and...
235
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,847
(SIGHS)
Lana, it's too late to...
236
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,765
Okay, let me stop you.
Having the baby.
237
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,683
Don't know why that's such a
mindbender for everybody, but...
238
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,306
Well...
But... Hush.
239
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,638
I have a lot of pretty
major expenses coming up,
240
00:09:56,721 --> 00:10:00,021
and since we
haven't been paid...
241
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,273
Oh. Look, I hate to ask,
but l need...
242
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,319
WIC!
243
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,863
What? It's like welfare,
but for babies.
244
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,732
I don't know,
I'm not a Democrat.
245
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,568
But I think they
give you a birth cheese.
246
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,111
(LOCK CLICKS)
247
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,411
A birth cheese.
248
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,956
MALORY: Oh, for...
Nothing's ever good enough.
249
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,910
Sorry, I only had $200.
250
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,619
Not you.
251
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,955
Really? $200?
252
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:26,293
Okay, there's $200 for the
uniforms, $100 for the sweet wigs,
253
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:30,051
and another $300 for
Kenny Loggins' room number.
254
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,891
So, I'm curious,
why didn't you just
255
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,844
call Cherlene
who owns the hotel?
256
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,770
Oh. And I'm curious,
why didn't
257
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,224
you remind me about
that until just now?
258
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,476
You said shut up,
J. Alfred Gotrocks.
259
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:43,560
What?
260
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,895
We haven't been
paid in forever.
261
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,150
Where are you
getting all this money?
262
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,859
I sold some artwork.
263
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:50,942
God damn it!
264
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,744
What did I tell you about
staying up on the wall, ghosts?
265
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,827
Okay, since I am,
or was,
266
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,499
a world-class
secret agent,
267
00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,827
when we get up
to his room,
268
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,911
do actually
follow my lead or...
269
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,542
Hang on, let me
grab a name tag.
270
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,918
Ruby! Ruby!
271
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,877
Is there a Ruby? See if there's a Ruby.
Is there a Ruby?
272
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,592
PAM: It's pretty close to Ruby.
No, Pam, it isn't.
273
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,423
Well, why do...
Don't worry about it.
274
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,634
Let it go. And give me
one of those mints.
275
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,516
Dude, they're cocaine.
Oh.
276
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,142
Of course they are.
277
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,393
(LAUGHS) Right?
278
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,682
All right,
here's the penthouse.
279
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,860
Now, I cannot stress this
enough, Pam, follow my lead.
280
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:26,936
Okay.
281
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,697
Room...
Housekeeping!
282
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,399
(CLEARS THROAT)
What did I just...
283
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,655
Prostitute! (GASPS)
284
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,412
What the hell
is your problem?
285
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,034
Besides my face hurts?
286
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,122
Why do I pay you
20 grand a month?
287
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,204
I don't want to read
about Kenny Loggins,
288
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,631
I want to read about K-Log.
(PHONE BEEPS)
289
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:50,085
(SIGHS) Jesus,
don't ever get a publicist.
290
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:54,389
Well, as a lowly room service
waiter, I probably won't, but...
291
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,715
Whoa!
292
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:56,924
Okay.
293
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,136
K-Log didn't
order room service.
294
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,228
Sure, you did.
295
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,772
No, I didn't.
296
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:03,894
(CLATTERING)
297
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,099
(PAM GRUNTING)
298
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,898
A housekeeper
and/or prostitute?
299
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,652
You think K-Log needs
to pay for sex, do you?
300
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,029
No, but that
being said,
301
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:17,738
I do think he needs to reevaluate
this whole K-Log thing.
302
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:21,370
Oh, yeah? Well, I think you
need to reevaluate your face.
303
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,419
My... Oh! Okay.
I can explain that.
304
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,666
How?
Uh...
305
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:27,835
Lip chemo?
306
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,291
It's the crazy
guy from the lobby!
307
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,752
Which means
you're no prostitute.
308
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,757
And that being said,
309
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,009
I am open to
blowjobs for money.
310
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,258
I only got 8 bucks on me, but...
Pam!
311
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,093
Self-esteem, buddy.
Come on.
312
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,429
Now, let's just put
the gun down and..-...
313
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,809
Mr. Loggins,
please advise.
314
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,186
K-Log. K-Log, damn it.
315
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,610
Yeah, I'm kind of
with him on that one.
316
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,777
Oh, really?
317
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:53,277
So you agree with Borgnar's
pathetic little errand boy?
318
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:55,609
Wait, what?
And also who?
319
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,069
Well, I'll tell you
the same thing
320
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,279
I told Borgnar
that night in Caracas.
321
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:02,036
It's not for sale.
At any price.
322
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,116
Who the hell is...
323
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,076
(PAM GRUNTS)
324
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,327
(SCREAMS)
325
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:07,578
Hyah!
326
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,331
Ricky, attack!
327
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,212
Yeah, Ricky.
Ooh!
328
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,417
(GRUNTS)
329
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,168
Aah!
330
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,504
ARCHER: Okay. Okay, good.
331
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,712
Pam, are you good?
332
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,673
(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah.
333
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,634
(BOTH GRUNTING)
334
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,272
Yeah, good, okay.
'Cause this time,
335
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,190
I may actually
murder Kenny Loggins.
336
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,313
Wait, wait, wait!
337
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,769
What, Pam?
338
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,104
First see if he wants a beej.
339
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,037
(CLATTERING)
Loggins! Loggins!
340
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,369
(PAM AND RICKY GRUNTING) Now,
look, before either of us
341
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,496
does something we'll
both regret, let's...
342
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:46,622
(GUNSHOTS)
343
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:51,085
Okay, that's just unacceptable.
Pam, I'm going in!
344
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:52,958
Okay!
345
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:55,460
(GRUNTING)
346
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,254
(SNIFFING)
347
00:13:58,713 --> 00:13:59,714
(COUGHS)
348
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,969
Wow! He really likes
the Paco Rabanne. (GASPS)
349
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,430
Tell Borgnar I'll
see him in hell!
350
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,024
Urn...
351
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,898
What the shit, Loggins?
352
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:14,937
(LAUGHING)
353
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,615
Wonder if it's too
late to get Messina.
354
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,452
Holy shit.
355
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:25,373
What kind of colossal idiot
would build a pool like that?
356
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,200
I just want to go
on record as saying
357
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,957
that a glass swimming pool
on the penthouse balcony is,
358
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,037
without a doubt,
359
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,497
the absolute worst
idea that I have
360
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,958
ever heard in my
entire goddamn life.
361
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:38,132
But you're the men, so...
362
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,389
(CHUCKLING) But can you imagine
banging in that thing?
363
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,808
Why, yes, Archer, yes, I can.
364
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,762
Drop it!
Drop it on the ground.
365
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,346
Do you know how
bad that is for it?
366
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,727
I will place it on
the ground, but...
367
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,559
You think K-Log
won't shoot, punk?
368
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,737
No, I think K-Log
is out of bullets.
369
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,104
What?
370
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,231
(GUN CLICKS)
371
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,571
How did you...
It's just a thing I do.
372
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,698
Now what the hell
is in that briefcase?
373
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,245
As if you don't know.
374
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,742
I honestly don't.
375
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:06,823
Liar.
376
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:10,293
(LAUGHING) Look, I put my weapon down.
I'm not a threat.
377
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,494
How would I know what's in...
378
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:12,787
(RICKY SCREAMING)
379
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,964
Pam, no, no, no.
Don't, no, don't...
380
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,086
Shit.
381
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,799
Ooh! Okay. So one of...
(GLASS CRACKING)
382
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:27,852
One fairly predictable thing
is gonna happen now, so...
383
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,304
(KENNY SCREAMING)
384
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,147
Loggins!
385
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,600
(BOTH GRUNTING)
386
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,989
You saved me.
But why?
387
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,283
What do you mean, why?
(COUGHING)
388
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,201
I wanted you to
play a baby shower.
389
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,995
Wait, what?
390
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:49,620
The Dirty Diaper Game,
water guns shaped like dicks.
391
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,871
A baby shower.
392
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:54,003
Oh. So, Borgnar,
the briefcase?
393
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,297
I don't know
anyone named Borgnar,
394
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,466
and I don't want
your crazy briefcase.
395
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,009
What the hell is
even in that thing?
396
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,179
Don't worry about it.
Just let it go.
397
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,631
I should let you go.
398
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,387
Look, I'm, you know...
399
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,934
Sorry?
Um...
400
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,556
More just embarrassed.
401
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,808
Is there some way I can
make this all up to you?
402
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,640
A beej!
Pam!
403
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,316
And no, Kenny Loggins,
404
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,486
there's no way to make up for
almost killing me over a briefcase
405
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,108
full of what I can
only assume is either
406
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,532
plutonium or a human soul.
407
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,568
(COUGHING) Although,
that being said...
408
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:31,578
It's in D minor. Do you know what that is?
Or even what chords are?
409
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,168
(SIGHS) Yes.
Wow. Snotty.
410
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:37,838
Okay, fine, so during the boring
parts, just scream, "Outlaw country."
411
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,416
Yeah, absolutely not.
412
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,803
(SINGING)
Revvin' up your engines
413
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,176
Listen to her howlin' roar
414
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,256
(LANA SCREAMING)
415
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,347
ALL: Happy baby shower!
416
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,769
Oh, my God, you guys.
417
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:52,845
Me first, here!
418
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,853
It's a breast pump. Go ahead
and use it now if you want.
419
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,606
I do not want,
Krieger, but thank you.
420
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,402
Aw. And thank you, Pam.
421
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,695
It's cocaine!
422
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,648
Aw! Of course it is.
423
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,446
And also, what
the hell happened to you?
424
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,869
This big bastard.
What big...
425
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,491
Whoa!
Uh...
426
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,072
Hi. Um...
427
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,281
This is a car seat.
428
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,166
God damn it!
429
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,086
This whole stupid baby
shower was my idea!
430
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:21,632
Highway to the
danger zone
431
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:27,510
I'll take you right into
the danger zone
432
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,634
Here.
Oh, wow!
433
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,435
A check. For $80.
434
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,850
Please take me back.
435
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,556
Aw, Cyril.
436
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,686
Who's next?
437
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,518
Well, I suppose me.
And all of this.
438
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,980
It's a layette. Onesies,
binkies, itty bitty booties...
439
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,443
Blah blah blah.
440
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,112
From baby Bergdorf's.
441
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,990
Oh, my God,
it must've been a fortune.
442
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,321
Well, I can afford it.
443
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:55,913
Apparently, Krieger's online
pharmacy is going gangbusters, so...
444
00:17:55,992 --> 00:18:00,623
Pardon me, ma'am. This was
delivered for Dr. Krieger.
445
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,332
What... Not now,
you shriveled...
446
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,918
Wait a minute.
That's the cocaine.
447
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,424
So this whole
thing was just a sham?
448
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,926
Well, only if by
"sham" you mean "sham."
449
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,883
Oh. Krieger!
450
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,468
Aah! But you were
temporarily so happy!
451
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,224
CYRIL: Krieger, get back here!
452
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,429
Yeah!
453
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,982
(SINGING) They never
say hello to you
454
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:23,106
Until you get it on
the red line overload
455
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:26,022
You'll never know
what you can do
456
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:30,702
Until you get it up
as high as you can go
457
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,407
Wow! This baby shower
458
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,864
actually went a lot better
than I would've imagined.
459
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:35,948
Right?
460
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,830
And what happened to you?
461
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,206
Your present, Lana,
is what happened.
462
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,539
And it's where, exactly?
463
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,541
What, are you kidding?
It's...
464
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,127
Right here, miss.
(LANA GASPS)
465
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:52,932
That's my crib! Which I want
you to have for the baby.
466
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,016
(GASPS)
467
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,135
Archer. Because you're
important to me,
468
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,811
so I made Woodhouse
469
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:01,391
get it from Mother's storage
unit, because I own him.
470
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,691
Archer.
471
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,815
(SOBBING) Archer,
that is the sweetest thing
472
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:08,148
anybody has ever
given me, ever.
473
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,356
Well, yeah.
474
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,364
But, I mean, the big
present, obviously, is...
475
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,623
Danger Zone.
476
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,995
The... Lana, the song.
477
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:25,082
(SINGING) Highway
to the danger zone
478
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:31,217
Right into the danger zone
479
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,183
Oh. Oh, okay.
480
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,684
Danger Zone, Lana.
481
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:45,109
You know, how I'm always
saying, "danger zone"?
482
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,153
Uh... Kind of. Yes.
483
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,442
Well...
484
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,944
It's from a song?
485
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,275
Yes, it's from a song!
486
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,655
Recorded by
Grammy winner
487
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,862
and possible
Faustian bargain maker
488
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,572
Kenny goddamn Loggins!
489
00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,953
Okay, calm down.
490
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,619
So who's Beard Guy?
(SCOFFS) Are you...
491
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,046
That's Kenny Loggins!
(GASPS)
492
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,467
From Kenny Loggins
Roasters?
493
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:17,016
(SINGING) Gonna take you
right into the danger zone
494
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:24,520
Highway to the danger zone
495
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:30,731
Right into the danger zone
496
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:35,239
Highway to the danger zone
497
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,736
Danger zone
498
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:42,997
Right into the danger zone
499
00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:56,504
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)