1
00:00:04,549 --> 00:00:05,849
(squeals)
2
00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:11,421
(exclaiming)
3
00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:18,495
(school bell ringing)
4
00:00:20,531 --> 00:00:21,598
(Barney belches)
5
00:00:21,633 --> 00:00:23,533
(whistle blows)
6
00:00:23,568 --> 00:00:25,569
(yells)
7
00:00:29,741 --> 00:00:31,008
(beeping)
8
00:00:36,214 --> 00:00:38,315
(playing the blues)
9
00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:43,053
(playing the blues)
10
00:00:46,291 --> 00:00:47,291
D'oh!
11
00:00:47,325 --> 00:00:48,292
(tires screeching)
12
00:00:48,326 --> 00:00:49,993
(grunts)
13
00:00:51,262 --> 00:00:52,729
(electrical buzzing)
14
00:00:52,764 --> 00:00:53,930
(Homer grunts)
15
00:00:53,965 --> 00:00:55,132
MARGE:
D'oh! Stupid fuse.
16
00:00:55,133 --> 00:00:59,133
♪ The Simpsons 25x12 ♪
Diggs
Original Air Date on March 9, 2014
17
00:00:59,134 --> 00:01:01,071
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
18
00:01:01,072 --> 00:01:04,675
Mmm!
19
00:01:04,909 --> 00:01:05,942
Maggie?
20
00:01:05,977 --> 00:01:07,477
Maggie!
21
00:01:07,512 --> 00:01:09,012
Maggie?
22
00:01:09,046 --> 00:01:10,280
Maggie!
23
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,405
Mmm!
24
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,976
(honking)
25
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,980
Mmm!
26
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:23,816
(groans, growls)
27
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,151
(grunts)
28
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:27,053
(honking)
29
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,822
(growling)
30
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,693
Hmm...
31
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,261
Maggie?
32
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,262
Maggie!
33
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,998
Hmm. Hey!
34
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:45,938
Maggie!
35
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:03,690
And it's for all
these reasons and more
36
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:06,025
that the Kingdom of Moab
37
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,961
is the least interesting
in the Bible.
38
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,396
Amen.
39
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,864
Amen! We're done!
40
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,135
Allow me to introduce
our guest speaker (Homer groans)
41
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,571
from the ill-advised mission
in Indonesia,
42
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:21,808
the Reverend Kartawijaya.
43
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:22,942
(Bart groans)
44
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,578
I know how you feel, young man.
Huh?
45
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:28,848
The children in my village
are just like you.
46
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,918
One boy, named Sumadi,
never comes to church.
47
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,219
He is always tying
48
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,954
the monkeys' tails together
49
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,923
and yelling, "Tiger is gone,"
50
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,058
when, in fact, tiger is there.
51
00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:42,628
Hmm!
Unfortunately, Sumadi is sick now.
52
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,897
What?!
Su-Sumadi has a problem?
53
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,433
Sumadi and others
equally doe-eyed...
54
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,469
need urgent medical treatment.
55
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,538
After all, we are all
just children of Allah.
56
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,875
I mean God.
Sorry. Recent convert.
57
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:56,876
Poor Sumadi.
58
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,112
Born in such a
terrible country.
59
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,546
Now, wait a minute.
60
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,848
But good news.
61
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:05,084
To help him, we will now have
a second collection.
62
00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:06,786
(congregation groans)
63
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,788
Wasn't our sympathetic
nodding enough?
64
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,089
Mom, can I have
some money?
65
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,258
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm all out.
66
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,461
I spent all I had lighting that
candle for Great Aunt Betty.
67
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:20,199
I hope that wasn't somebody's
Aunt Betty or something.
68
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,436
Dad, please?
For Sumadi?
69
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,338
Sorry, son,
I only have 20s.
70
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,572
And if God needs money,
71
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,107
why doesn't he just
write another Bible?
72
00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:29,976
The first one sold
pretty well.
73
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,344
Does anyone remember
74
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,980
when it was considered
rude to talk in church?
75
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,648
Pipe down, Ned.
76
00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:38,818
Please?
77
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,189
All right, son,
78
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,024
but you have to pay me back.
79
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,128
(sighs) Life is good.
80
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,663
Do you have my money?
What?
81
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,964
Do you have my money?
82
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,266
How could I?
83
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,634
Right, right, too soon.
84
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,135
Do you have my money?
85
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,303
(groans)
86
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,207
Seriously,
do you have my money?
87
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,975
Where's my money?
88
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:04,644
Huh?
89
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,015
(slurping)
90
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,351
Where's my money?
91
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,922
Where's... my...
92
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,758
mon... ey?
93
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,359
It's been a rough patch, man.
94
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,161
Hope you got something
to cheer me up.
95
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:24,630
Well, there is one fun fact
96
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,600
I've been saving
for an emergency situation.
97
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,503
Did you know
there really was a Duncan Hines?
98
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,738
Where's my money? Do you have
my money? Where is it?
99
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,807
You know, if you had the money,
I'm right here.
100
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:35,942
Do you have the money?
101
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,276
Money-money-money-money-mon...
102
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:40,913
Homer, quit
badgering the boy.
103
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:44,217
Pressure's how you make
your beloved diamonds, Marge.
104
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,118
I don't have any diamonds.
105
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,954
Quit pressuring me!
106
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,558
Money, money.
I need money!
107
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,994
Would you eat
anything for money?
108
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,529
I guess.
Who are you?
109
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:59,432
School play.
Damn Yankees.
110
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,634
Children of the playground!
111
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,238
I will eat anything for money!
112
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,472
Except money!
113
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,709
I'll give you a quarter
if you eat my gum.
114
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,246
I'll give you another
if you eat mine.
115
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,415
Here's some orthodontic wax!
116
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,917
(lisps):
And some cinnamon!
117
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,418
Saint-John's-wort!
118
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,256
And here's something
that'll make you
119
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,525
forget about the
other stuff.
120
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,293
BART:
Ay caramba.
121
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,928
(blubbers)
122
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,329
So, what else you got?
123
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,831
All right, Simpson.
124
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:36,669
20 big ones says you're not
messed-up enough to eat... this.
125
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:38,671
(laughs)
126
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:39,839
(whimpers)
127
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,707
(gasps)
No, Bart, no!
128
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,643
Do it, and you'll
always be known
129
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,878
as the kid who ate
the dead frog.
130
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,147
(Homer's voice):
Where's my money?
131
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,282
Get my money!
132
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,983
Money-money-money-money-money!
133
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,590
(disgusted exclaiming)
134
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,327
(slurps, kids exclaim)
135
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,330
Easiest money I ever...
136
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,698
(beeping)
137
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:08,801
Son, by rights, I should be
playing banjo at your funeral.
138
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,875
That frog was filled
to the gills with formaldehyde,
139
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:14,073
a highly toxic poison.
(chuckles)
140
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,274
Here's your money, Dad.
141
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:16,475
What?
142
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,010
Did you owe me some money?
143
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,646
And, Homer, here's
your bill for $4,000.
144
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:21,781
D'oh!
145
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,549
Where's my money?
You got my money?
146
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,418
Where's my money?
(chuckles)
147
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,286
Seriously,
where's my money?
148
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,829
Ew! It's the kid who
ate the dead frog!
149
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,469
Herbivore!
150
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,071
That's someone
who eats plants.
151
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,974
I named the frog Herb.
152
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,076
Even you won't
sit with me?
153
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,445
Bart, if you sit here,
I'll be the boy
154
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,247
who sat next to the boy
who ate the frog.
155
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,950
And I'm already the boy
who shared a comb with a boy
156
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,385
who threw up on the boy
157
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,721
who wet his pants
at the winter carnival.
158
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,323
P.S. I would've given you
the money.
159
00:07:04,358 --> 00:07:05,558
(groans)
160
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,293
(tires screech)
161
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,297
(school bell rings)
162
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,570
(tires squeal)
163
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,507
What's the matter,
frog in your throat?
164
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,609
You're the ones
that paid me to eat it.
165
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,911
All we hear is:
ribbit, ribbit!
166
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,014
(bird shrieks)
167
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,016
(exclaiming)
168
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:33,085
You said this was
a simple bullying job!
169
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,457
Diggs and Freedom
at your service.
170
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,026
Diggs is short
for Digby.
171
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,628
Thanks. I'm the kid
that ate the frog.
172
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:43,929
Oh, so you're the reason
173
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,032
I had to dissect a Muppet
in biology today.
174
00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:51,865
Thanks for the help, man.
Oh, you're welcome.
175
00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,055
At least for me.
176
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,924
There's no way to say
what the bird thinks.
177
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,759
Or even if he thinks, really.
178
00:07:56,793 --> 00:07:57,860
Wait, wait, wait!
179
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,228
Who the hell are you?
180
00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:01,030
I transferred here
a few months ago.
181
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,265
To this school?
On purpose?
182
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,067
Even after
Springfield Montessori opened
183
00:08:05,102 --> 00:08:06,736
across the street?
184
00:08:06,770 --> 00:08:09,605
(gentle classical music plays)
185
00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:13,743
That place is
really in your face.
186
00:08:13,777 --> 00:08:15,544
I like the lack
of attention.
187
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,046
(quietly):
Especially in here.
188
00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:22,952
(door creaks softly)
189
00:08:25,555 --> 00:08:27,523
This school has a falconry club?
190
00:08:27,557 --> 00:08:28,791
No way.
191
00:08:28,825 --> 00:08:30,226
I resuscitated it.
192
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,194
I'm president,
secretary treasurer
193
00:08:32,229 --> 00:08:33,596
and faculty advisor.
194
00:08:33,630 --> 00:08:35,765
That took a lot of
fancy paperwork.
195
00:08:35,799 --> 00:08:38,934
But it was worth it
to be left alone.
196
00:08:38,969 --> 00:08:40,436
Can I join?
197
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:42,671
Hmm. I'll have to
check with Freedom.
198
00:08:42,706 --> 00:08:43,773
(loud clink)
199
00:08:43,807 --> 00:08:45,441
Habemus Papam!
200
00:08:45,475 --> 00:08:46,976
We have a poop!
201
00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:48,544
It's white.
You're in.
202
00:08:49,846 --> 00:08:53,883
Looks like the falconry club's
back from the dead.
203
00:08:53,917 --> 00:08:55,718
Can the Esperanto
Society be far behind?
204
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:56,986
(chuckles):
I mean...
205
00:08:57,020 --> 00:09:00,823
Cu la Esperanto-Societo
esti multe malantau?
206
00:09:00,857 --> 00:09:02,591
(sighs) Two languages,
207
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,760
and somehow no one
will talk to you.
208
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,395
Gi estas vera.
209
00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:08,397
Mi tre soleca.
Loser.
210
00:09:08,432 --> 00:09:10,099
The first thing
to learn about falcons
211
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,101
is how beautiful
they are in flight.
212
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,269
(screeches)
213
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,305
♪ ♪
214
00:09:16,339 --> 00:09:19,008
Don't fret.
He'll be back.
215
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:21,410
There's my
Sky Gramma!
216
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:25,081
(mumbles) Bart's usually first in line
for Taco Night,
217
00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:27,283
but now he's muy tarde.
218
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,418
(quiet gasp) Oh, is it all right
to say "tarde"?
219
00:09:29,453 --> 00:09:31,187
Mmm, hey, you've said
it twice, Marge--
220
00:09:31,221 --> 00:09:33,422
you're in pretty deep.
221
00:09:33,457 --> 00:09:34,423
Homer!
222
00:09:34,458 --> 00:09:36,325
Ten-minutes rules!
223
00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:37,493
Lisa!
224
00:09:37,527 --> 00:09:39,495
(muffled):
What? A rule's a rule.
225
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:42,498
There he is!
(gasps)
226
00:09:42,532 --> 00:09:45,134
Ah, he is just riding
that thermal!
227
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,203
You were right about
watching him fly.
228
00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:48,571
I thought you'd get it.
229
00:09:48,605 --> 00:09:50,139
Seat backs
and tray tables, Bart.
230
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,674
We're coming in
for a landing.
231
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:52,908
(screeches)
232
00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:56,212
Wow, you don't know how
impressive that is
233
00:09:56,246 --> 00:09:59,315
to a boy whose dad can't
even get the dog to sit.
234
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,317
Sit. Sit.
235
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,486
Sit...
236
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,054
Sit!
237
00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:06,555
(yells):
Sit!
238
00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,757
I don't know what that is,
239
00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:10,726
but it's not sitting!
240
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,229
Where could Bart be?
241
00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:15,464
I saw him heading across
the field after school
242
00:10:15,499 --> 00:10:18,567
with a kid a little bit older
and undoubtedly wiser.
243
00:10:18,602 --> 00:10:21,837
Oh, I know
what that means!
244
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:26,075
There comes a time when
a boy sneaks his first beer.
245
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:29,111
Finally! I was beginning
to think that kid was a...
246
00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:30,880
(quietly):
teetotaler.
247
00:10:30,914 --> 00:10:33,082
Bart Simpson,
at your service.
248
00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:35,451
More like "at your six-pack,"
am I right?
249
00:10:35,485 --> 00:10:36,719
(laughs)
250
00:10:36,753 --> 00:10:39,255
It's okay if you need
to take a little nap.
251
00:10:39,289 --> 00:10:40,689
Why would I want a nap?
252
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:44,093
Because you're so drunk
you can barely keep it together.
253
00:10:44,127 --> 00:10:45,094
I wasn't drinking.
254
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:46,362
I was learning
that nature
255
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,063
isn't a complete
waste of space.
256
00:10:48,098 --> 00:10:49,632
That doesn't
sound like you.
257
00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:51,700
But it does sound
like the kind of lie
258
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:54,837
you'd make up after
the first time you got blitzed.
259
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:55,838
I met this kid.
260
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,306
A little older, kind of strange.
261
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,807
I don't think
other people get him.
262
00:10:58,842 --> 00:11:01,110
But I just want to hang out
with him all the time.
263
00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:03,379
(gasps) It's even better
than I thought.
264
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,482
You've found
your Moe Szyslak!
265
00:11:06,507 --> 00:11:08,708
In just a few short years,
266
00:11:08,733 --> 00:11:10,733
you'll be getting
your version of baked
267
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:12,989
on your version of pot
268
00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:15,425
listening to your version
of Journey.
269
00:11:15,459 --> 00:11:16,726
(laughs)
270
00:11:16,761 --> 00:11:17,727
Wha...?
271
00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,329
What's he doing?
272
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:23,500
(Freedom cries)
273
00:11:23,534 --> 00:11:25,201
Now, when he lands,
you'll feed him
274
00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:28,204
so he has positive
associations with you.
275
00:11:28,239 --> 00:11:30,006
(squawks)
276
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,509
Don't worry, he's only bitten
off one of my fingers.
277
00:11:32,543 --> 00:11:34,177
(gasps)
(laughs)
278
00:11:34,211 --> 00:11:35,211
Just goofing on you.
279
00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:37,080
This is the finger he bit off.
280
00:11:40,818 --> 00:11:43,520
If he starts to carry you off,
slip out of the glove.
281
00:11:43,554 --> 00:11:45,088
Now tell him to fly.
282
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,623
Fly! Fly!
283
00:11:46,657 --> 00:11:49,459
Come on, man!
Do the wing thing!
284
00:11:49,493 --> 00:11:50,460
(Freedom squawking)
285
00:11:50,494 --> 00:11:51,528
I did it! He did it!
286
00:11:51,562 --> 00:11:52,829
We did it!
287
00:11:52,863 --> 00:11:53,830
Yes, Bart, that is
288
00:11:53,864 --> 00:11:55,231
how you conjugate
the verb "to do."
289
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:56,866
Well done.
290
00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:01,871
♪ Come Saturday morning ♪
291
00:12:01,906 --> 00:12:03,439
D'oh!
292
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:08,077
♪ I'm going away
with my friend ♪
293
00:12:08,112 --> 00:12:10,680
♪ We'll Saturday spend ♪
294
00:12:10,714 --> 00:12:15,251
♪ Till the end of the day... ♪
295
00:12:16,587 --> 00:12:18,321
Hey!
296
00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:19,923
Bring back my bling.
297
00:12:19,957 --> 00:12:22,392
♪ Just I and my friend ♪
298
00:12:22,426 --> 00:12:24,394
♪ We'll travel for miles ♪
299
00:12:24,428 --> 00:12:27,463
♪ In our Saturday smiles ♪
300
00:12:27,498 --> 00:12:28,498
Give that back!
301
00:12:28,532 --> 00:12:31,167
All I got is a
hole in my face!
302
00:12:31,202 --> 00:12:33,670
(nasally):
Uncle Krusty's back.
303
00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:39,409
(Freedom cries)
304
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:41,845
Whoa! Did you teach
him to do that?
305
00:12:41,879 --> 00:12:44,681
(laughs) Nobody could
communicate that.
306
00:12:44,715 --> 00:12:46,816
Except maybe
Gerard Manley Hopkins.
307
00:12:46,851 --> 00:12:48,985
"I caught this morning
morning's minion
308
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,587
"Kingdom of daylight's dauphin,
309
00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:52,856
"Dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon,
in his riding
310
00:12:52,890 --> 00:12:56,359
"Of the rolling level underneath
him steady air, and striding
311
00:12:56,393 --> 00:13:00,129
High there, how he rung upon
the rein of a wimpling wing."
312
00:13:00,164 --> 00:13:01,965
Wow!
313
00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:03,266
(frog croaks)
314
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,001
I've already eaten.
315
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,937
Hey, you want to see
something really cool?
316
00:13:07,972 --> 00:13:10,473
Is a falcon's training leash
called a creance?
317
00:13:10,507 --> 00:13:11,507
Yes!
318
00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:21,718
(grunts)
319
00:13:21,752 --> 00:13:24,554
Say something so I'll know
you're not hurt.
320
00:13:24,588 --> 00:13:26,456
I'm really hurt.
Phew!
321
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:32,967
Bartholomew!
322
00:13:33,002 --> 00:13:34,235
Good to see you, old sport.
323
00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:35,603
Where's Freedom?
324
00:13:35,638 --> 00:13:38,306
Well, my dad said don't bring
home any more dogs, cats,
325
00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:40,408
turtles or snakes,
but he never
326
00:13:40,443 --> 00:13:43,478
said anything
about predatory birds.
327
00:13:43,512 --> 00:13:44,846
(muffled squawk)
328
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,147
(fans cheering)
329
00:13:46,182 --> 00:13:49,551
Okay, in your terms,
points are like mice...
330
00:13:49,585 --> 00:13:50,752
(screeches)
331
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,153
Don't interrupt.
I just thought
332
00:13:52,188 --> 00:13:54,055
it would be nice
if we shared an interest.
333
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:55,523
(Freedom screeches)
334
00:13:56,726 --> 00:13:58,226
Ooh...
335
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:01,062
GRAMPA: You Korean girls know
what a soldier likes.
336
00:14:01,097 --> 00:14:02,964
(squawks)
337
00:14:02,998 --> 00:14:05,233
Fine! But the game
is much more enjoyable
338
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:06,468
if you understand it.
339
00:14:06,502 --> 00:14:08,536
Look, the Eagles
and the Falcons.
340
00:14:08,571 --> 00:14:10,438
Tell me you're
not interested in that.
341
00:14:10,473 --> 00:14:11,439
(Freedom screeches)
342
00:14:11,474 --> 00:14:12,474
(groans)
343
00:14:12,508 --> 00:14:14,309
I could fly, too,
if I didn't have
344
00:14:14,343 --> 00:14:15,810
a wife and three kids!
345
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,413
Hey, you've had
a lot of visitors.
346
00:14:18,447 --> 00:14:20,415
No, I signed them myself.
347
00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:22,650
They're people I would've
liked to come visit.
348
00:14:22,685 --> 00:14:24,819
BART:
Ay, caramba!
349
00:14:24,854 --> 00:14:27,989
Listen, what happened
in that tree?
350
00:14:28,023 --> 00:14:29,824
Um, you want the truth?
351
00:14:29,859 --> 00:14:31,059
Of course you do.
352
00:14:31,093 --> 00:14:32,460
You're like Diogenes.
353
00:14:32,495 --> 00:14:34,329
But with slingshot
in place of lamp.
354
00:14:37,233 --> 00:14:39,834
I wanted to fly.
355
00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:41,870
I know it sounds
a little crazy now,
356
00:14:41,904 --> 00:14:44,139
but I suddenly thought
maybe we can all fly,
357
00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:46,407
but somehow we've forgotten
that we can.
358
00:14:46,442 --> 00:14:48,743
You don't still
think that, do you?
359
00:14:48,778 --> 00:14:51,412
Hey, I'm not flying anywhere
with this broken wing.
360
00:14:52,948 --> 00:14:55,083
Bart, here's another doctor
that would like
361
00:14:55,117 --> 00:14:57,185
a few words
with this young man.
362
00:14:57,219 --> 00:15:00,522
This hospital has
another doctor?
363
00:15:04,627 --> 00:15:07,095
So they're transferring him
to another hospital.
364
00:15:07,129 --> 00:15:10,031
Well, I hope he gets out soon
and takes his bird back.
365
00:15:10,065 --> 00:15:13,034
I don't care
for how it circles the cat.
366
00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:15,603
(cat meowing)
367
00:15:15,638 --> 00:15:17,939
He's just riding the thermals
from Dad's butt.
368
00:15:17,973 --> 00:15:20,875
At least someone in this family
is using them.
369
00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:22,377
I never heard
of this new hospital,
370
00:15:22,411 --> 00:15:24,379
so I looked it up
and printed it out.
371
00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:26,047
Ooh!
372
00:15:26,081 --> 00:15:27,549
Can I visit him tomorrow?
373
00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:29,784
(sighs)
I don't know, Bart.
374
00:15:29,819 --> 00:15:31,452
This is one of those
375
00:15:31,487 --> 00:15:34,255
Arkham Asylum-type hospitals.
376
00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:35,723
Diggs isn't cuckoo!
377
00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:37,225
Uh, listen, boy.
378
00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:38,860
Maybe you should
spend more time
379
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,895
with your old
best friend.
380
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:42,430
You know, Dweebler.
381
00:15:42,464 --> 00:15:45,133
Milhouse abandoned me.
382
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,935
So, why can't I go there?
383
00:15:46,969 --> 00:15:49,304
Bart, if this is
what I think it is,
384
00:15:49,338 --> 00:15:52,874
it's not a place we should ever,
ever take a little boy.
385
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,509
Then why is Diggs there?
386
00:15:54,543 --> 00:15:57,712
Because it's
his home forever.
387
00:16:00,416 --> 00:16:02,217
You know, Bart,
388
00:16:02,251 --> 00:16:04,118
just because Diggs
is a little different
389
00:16:04,153 --> 00:16:06,788
doesn't mean
he's not a good person.
390
00:16:06,822 --> 00:16:08,723
What would you know
about friends like Diggs?
391
00:16:08,757 --> 00:16:10,225
I have about eight of them.
392
00:16:10,259 --> 00:16:11,960
So, how do we fix him?
393
00:16:11,994 --> 00:16:13,528
Oh, Bart.
394
00:16:13,562 --> 00:16:16,264
Diggs's problems
don't have easy fixes.
395
00:16:16,298 --> 00:16:18,800
What kind of cheer-up
talk is this?
396
00:16:18,834 --> 00:16:22,170
Well, sometimes it helps
to know people feel for you.
397
00:16:22,204 --> 00:16:24,239
(chuckles)
Want a hug?
398
00:16:27,509 --> 00:16:28,543
You hug the bedpost.
399
00:16:28,577 --> 00:16:29,811
Then I hug the bedpost.
400
00:16:29,845 --> 00:16:31,846
That way we never
hug each other.
401
00:16:35,851 --> 00:16:40,321
♪ Come Saturday morning ♪
402
00:16:40,356 --> 00:16:43,491
♪ I'm going away... ♪
403
00:16:43,525 --> 00:16:44,492
Hey, Simpson.
404
00:16:44,526 --> 00:16:46,494
I heard bird boy
got a new cage.
405
00:16:46,528 --> 00:16:48,997
One with rubber bars.
406
00:16:49,031 --> 00:16:51,032
Yeah, and a rubber perch!
407
00:16:51,066 --> 00:16:52,600
Yeah, yeah, and a...
408
00:16:52,635 --> 00:16:54,469
I get it. It sucks.
409
00:16:54,503 --> 00:16:55,737
Really sucks.
410
00:16:55,771 --> 00:16:57,672
Rubber birdfeeder.
411
00:16:57,706 --> 00:16:59,974
Making fun of the
mentally ill--
412
00:17:00,009 --> 00:17:01,843
real classy.
413
00:17:01,877 --> 00:17:02,844
But you guys were...
414
00:17:02,878 --> 00:17:04,812
We were what, Captain Sensitive?
415
00:17:08,350 --> 00:17:11,853
The rumors of my bonkertude
have been greatly exaggerated.
416
00:17:11,887 --> 00:17:14,088
DSM-5 indicates
paranoid schizophrenia,
417
00:17:14,123 --> 00:17:16,324
but that work is
mired in controversy.
418
00:17:16,358 --> 00:17:17,325
Mired.
419
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:18,660
I knew you'd escape!
420
00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:20,662
Were you carried out
by a flock of falcons?
421
00:17:20,696 --> 00:17:22,096
I got a one-day pass.
422
00:17:22,131 --> 00:17:23,564
Were falcons involved
in any way?
423
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:27,001
I obtained the pass to enter the
Springfield Falconry Contest,
424
00:17:27,036 --> 00:17:28,803
which is what Freedom and I
were training for
425
00:17:28,837 --> 00:17:30,071
when we first met you.
426
00:17:30,105 --> 00:17:31,205
Oh, great.
427
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,074
Before anything else,
let me just get closer
428
00:17:33,108 --> 00:17:35,910
to the door and say,
"How crazy are you?"
429
00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:38,346
I'm fine. My meds won't
wear off till tonight.
430
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,749
Then I'll have Freedom
tear you to shreds.
431
00:17:41,784 --> 00:17:43,584
No offense, but when a crazy guy
432
00:17:43,619 --> 00:17:46,421
pretends to be crazy,
it's not funny.
433
00:17:46,455 --> 00:17:48,089
You're discounting
all talk radio.
434
00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,267
Excellent.
435
00:17:59,301 --> 00:18:02,003
COMIC BOOK GUY:
Fly, my pet, fly!
436
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:04,806
Yes!
(falcon cries)
437
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,075
Yes, now back to Papa.
438
00:18:07,109 --> 00:18:08,443
Yes.
439
00:18:10,179 --> 00:18:12,347
Why am I not surprised
the only sport you do
440
00:18:12,381 --> 00:18:14,916
is one where
a bird brings you food?
441
00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:17,085
Um, a falcon's greatest joy
442
00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:18,453
is to serve its master.
443
00:18:18,487 --> 00:18:20,355
(squawks)
Fatso!
444
00:18:20,389 --> 00:18:21,856
Once again, I must point out
445
00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:23,224
that you are not a parrot.
446
00:18:23,258 --> 00:18:25,059
Fatso, fatso!
Pees in the shower!
447
00:18:25,094 --> 00:18:27,261
(squawks)
Shut up.
448
00:18:30,132 --> 00:18:31,299
What are you doing?
449
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,300
We're up next.
450
00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:33,534
When Freedom
hits the air,
451
00:18:33,569 --> 00:18:35,269
you and I open
all the cages.
452
00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:36,537
Um...
453
00:18:36,572 --> 00:18:38,139
with our minds?
454
00:18:38,173 --> 00:18:39,207
No.
455
00:18:39,241 --> 00:18:40,375
With this rope.
456
00:18:40,409 --> 00:18:41,509
I'm a messed-up kid.
457
00:18:41,543 --> 00:18:43,044
I'm not Magneto.
458
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,113
ANNOUNCER:
Diggs and Freedom.
459
00:18:54,156 --> 00:18:55,723
(all squawking)
460
00:18:57,326 --> 00:18:58,459
"In his ecstasy.
461
00:18:58,494 --> 00:19:01,062
Then off, off forth on swing!"
462
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,930
Where's my bird going?
463
00:19:02,965 --> 00:19:04,065
Wherever he wants.
464
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,233
He's free now.
465
00:19:05,267 --> 00:19:07,535
If you see the stork
what brings us babies,
466
00:19:07,569 --> 00:19:08,903
kill it!
467
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:14,008
Now, Bart, I'm afraid one-day
passes don't last forever.
468
00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:16,177
And I'm probably not
going to get another one
469
00:19:16,211 --> 00:19:17,945
for quite a while.
470
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:18,980
Wait!
471
00:19:19,014 --> 00:19:20,348
Wh-When will I see you?
472
00:19:20,382 --> 00:19:22,316
You can't quit
the falconry club!
473
00:19:22,351 --> 00:19:24,152
It's all yours, Mr. President.
474
00:19:24,186 --> 00:19:26,421
Well, I guess
some delicate birds
475
00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:28,756
are safer in a cage.
476
00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:30,892
I had thought of it as
a therapeutic milieu,
477
00:19:30,926 --> 00:19:34,328
but now "cage" is stuck
in my head, so thanks.
478
00:19:34,363 --> 00:19:36,931
And thanks for being my friend.
479
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,608
Bart, when I
pushed you away,
480
00:19:47,643 --> 00:19:51,012
I was really pushing away
the thought of losing you.
481
00:19:51,046 --> 00:19:53,247
How long did it take you
to think that up?
482
00:19:53,282 --> 00:19:55,149
Two hours with the therapist.
483
00:19:55,184 --> 00:19:56,317
I'll take that.
484
00:19:56,351 --> 00:19:57,985
She came in
on a Saturday.
485
00:19:58,020 --> 00:20:00,421
Missed her kid's
karate demonstration.
486
00:20:00,456 --> 00:20:01,756
He was going up a belt.
487
00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:02,990
Enough!
488
00:20:10,715 --> 00:20:12,783
Mom, you didn't
cook the falcon?
489
00:20:12,817 --> 00:20:15,118
Of course not.
It's just duck.
490
00:20:15,153 --> 00:20:16,787
Aw.
Aw.
491
00:20:16,821 --> 00:20:19,122
(munching loudly)
492
00:20:19,157 --> 00:20:20,624
Pass the peas, please.
493
00:20:20,658 --> 00:20:25,658
Captioning sponsored by 20TH CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
494
00:21:07,536 --> 00:21:09,537
Shh!