1 00:00:46,291 --> 00:00:47,291 D'oh! 2 00:00:53,965 --> 00:00:55,132 D'oh! Stupid fuse. 3 00:00:55,133 --> 00:00:59,133 ♪ The Simpsons 25x12 ♪ Diggs Original Air Date on March 9, 2014 4 00:00:59,134 --> 00:01:01,071 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 5 00:01:01,072 --> 00:01:04,675 Mmm! 6 00:01:04,909 --> 00:01:05,942 Maggie? 7 00:01:05,977 --> 00:01:07,477 Maggie! 8 00:01:07,512 --> 00:01:09,012 Maggie? 9 00:01:09,046 --> 00:01:10,280 Maggie! 10 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,405 Mmm! 11 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,980 Mmm! 12 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,693 Hmm... 13 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,261 Maggie? 14 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,262 Maggie! 15 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,998 Hmm. Hey! 16 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:45,938 Maggie! 17 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:03,690 And it's for all these reasons and more 18 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:06,025 that the Kingdom of Moab 19 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,961 is the least interesting in the Bible. 20 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,396 Amen. 21 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,864 Amen! We're done! 22 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,135 Allow me to introduce our guest speaker 23 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,571 from the ill-advised mission in Indonesia, 24 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:21,808 the Reverend Kartawijaya. 25 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,578 I know how you feel, young man. Huh? 26 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:28,848 The children in my village are just like you. 27 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,918 One boy, named Sumadi, never comes to church. 28 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,219 He is always tying 29 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,954 the monkeys' tails together 30 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,923 and yelling, "Tiger is gone," 31 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,058 when, in fact, tiger is there. 32 00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:42,628 Hmm! Unfortunately, Sumadi is sick now. 33 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,897 What?! Su-Sumadi has a problem? 34 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,433 Sumadi and others equally doe-eyed... 35 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,469 need urgent medical treatment. 36 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,538 After all, we are all just children of Allah. 37 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,875 I mean God. Sorry. Recent convert. 38 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:56,876 Poor Sumadi. 39 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,112 Born in such a terrible country. 40 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,546 Now, wait a minute. 41 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,848 But good news. 42 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:05,084 To help him, we will now have a second collection. 43 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,788 Wasn't our sympathetic nodding enough? 44 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,089 Mom, can I have some money? 45 00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,258 I'm sorry, honey. I'm all out. 46 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,461 I spent all I had lighting that candle for Great Aunt Betty. 47 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:20,199 I hope that wasn't somebody's Aunt Betty or something. 48 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,436 Dad, please? For Sumadi? 49 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,338 Sorry, son, I only have 20s. 50 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,572 And if God needs money, 51 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,107 why doesn't he just write another Bible? 52 00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:29,976 The first one sold pretty well. 53 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,344 Does anyone remember 54 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,980 when it was considered rude to talk in church? 55 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,648 Pipe down, Ned. 56 00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:38,818 Please? 57 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,189 All right, son, 58 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,024 but you have to pay me back. 59 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,128 Life is good. 60 00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,663 Do you have my money? What? 61 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,964 Do you have my money? 62 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,266 How could I? 63 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,634 Right, right, too soon. 64 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,135 Do you have my money? 65 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,207 Seriously, do you have my money? 66 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,975 Where's my money? 67 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:04,644 Huh? 68 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,351 Where's my money? 69 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,922 Where's... my... 70 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,758 mon... ey? 71 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,359 It's been a rough patch, man. 72 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,161 Hope you got something to cheer me up. 73 00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:24,630 Well, there is one fun fact 74 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,600 I've been saving for an emergency situation. 75 00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,503 Did you know there really was a Duncan Hines? 76 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,738 Where's my money? Do you have my money? Where is it? 77 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,807 You know, if you had the money, I'm right here. 78 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:35,942 Do you have the money? 79 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,276 Money-money-money-money-mon... 80 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:40,913 Homer, quit badgering the boy. 81 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:44,217 Pressure's how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge. 82 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,118 I don't have any diamonds. 83 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,954 Quit pressuring me! 84 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,558 Money, money. I need money! 85 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,994 Would you eat anything for money? 86 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,529 I guess. Who are you? 87 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:59,432 School play. Damn Yankees. 88 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,634 Children of the playground! 89 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,238 I will eat anything for money! 90 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,472 Except money! 91 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,709 I'll give you a quarter if you eat my gum. 92 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,246 I'll give you another if you eat mine. 93 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,415 Here's some orthodontic wax! 94 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,917 And some cinnamon! 95 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,418 Saint-John's-wort! 96 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,256 And here's something that'll make you 97 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,525 forget about the other stuff. 98 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,293 Ay caramba. 99 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,329 So, what else you got? 100 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,831 All right, Simpson. 101 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:36,669 20 big ones says you're not messed-up enough to eat... this. 102 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,707 No, Bart, no! 103 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,643 Do it, and you'll always be known 104 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,878 as the kid who ate the dead frog. 105 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,147 Where's my money? 106 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,282 Get my money! 107 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,983 Money-money-money-money-money! 108 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,330 Easiest money I ever... 109 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:08,801 Son, by rights, I should be playing banjo at your funeral. 110 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,875 That frog was filled to the gills with formaldehyde, 111 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:14,073 a highly toxic poison. 112 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,274 Here's your money, Dad. 113 00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:16,475 What? 114 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,010 Did you owe me some money? 115 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,646 And, Homer, here's your bill for $4,000. 116 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:21,781 D'oh! 117 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,549 Where's my money? You got my money? 118 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,418 Where's my money? 119 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,286 Seriously, where's my money? 120 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,829 Ew! It's the kid who ate the dead frog! 121 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,469 Herbivore! 122 00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,071 That's someone who eats plants. 123 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,974 I named the frog Herb. 124 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,076 Even you won't sit with me? 125 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,445 Bart, if you sit here, I'll be the boy 126 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,247 who sat next to the boy who ate the frog. 127 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,950 And I'm already the boy who shared a comb with a boy 128 00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,385 who threw up on the boy 129 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,721 who wet his pants at the winter carnival. 130 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,323 P.S. I would've given you the money. 131 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,507 What's the matter, frog in your throat? 132 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,609 You're the ones that paid me to eat it. 133 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,911 All we hear is: ribbit, ribbit! 134 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:33,085 You said this was a simple bullying job! 135 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,457 Diggs and Freedom at your service. 136 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,026 Diggs is short for Digby. 137 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,628 Thanks. I'm the kid that ate the frog. 138 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:43,929 Oh, so you're the reason 139 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,032 I had to dissect a Muppet in biology today. 140 00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:51,865 Thanks for the help, man. Oh, you're welcome. 141 00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,055 At least for me. 142 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,924 There's no way to say what the bird thinks. 143 00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,759 Or even if he thinks, really. 144 00:07:56,793 --> 00:07:57,860 Wait, wait, wait! 145 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,228 Who the hell are you? 146 00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:01,030 I transferred here a few months ago. 147 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,265 To this school? On purpose? 148 00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,067 Even after Springfield Montessori opened 149 00:08:05,102 --> 00:08:06,736 across the street? 150 00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:13,743 That place is really in your face. 151 00:08:13,777 --> 00:08:15,544 I like the lack of attention. 152 00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,046 Especially in here. 153 00:08:25,555 --> 00:08:27,523 This school has a falconry club? 154 00:08:27,557 --> 00:08:28,791 No way. 155 00:08:28,825 --> 00:08:30,226 I resuscitated it. 156 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,194 I'm president, secretary treasurer 157 00:08:32,229 --> 00:08:33,596 and faculty advisor. 158 00:08:33,630 --> 00:08:35,765 That took a lot of fancy paperwork. 159 00:08:35,799 --> 00:08:38,934 But it was worth it to be left alone. 160 00:08:38,969 --> 00:08:40,436 Can I join? 161 00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:42,671 Hmm. I'll have to check with Freedom. 162 00:08:43,807 --> 00:08:45,441 Habemus Papam! 163 00:08:45,475 --> 00:08:46,976 We have a poop! 164 00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:48,544 It's white. You're in. 165 00:08:49,846 --> 00:08:53,883 Looks like the falconry club's back from the dead. 166 00:08:53,917 --> 00:08:55,718 Can the Esperanto Society be far behind? 167 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:56,986 I mean... 168 00:08:57,020 --> 00:09:00,823 Cu la Esperanto-Societo esti multe malantau? 169 00:09:00,857 --> 00:09:02,591 Two languages, 170 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,760 and somehow no one will talk to you. 171 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,395 Gi estas vera. 172 00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:08,397 Mi tre soleca. Loser. 173 00:09:08,432 --> 00:09:10,099 The first thing to learn about falcons 174 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,101 is how beautiful they are in flight. 175 00:09:16,339 --> 00:09:19,008 Don't fret. He'll be back. 176 00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:21,410 There's my Sky Gramma! 177 00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:25,081 Bart's usually first in line for Taco Night, 178 00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:27,283 but now he's muy tarde. 179 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,418 Oh, is it all right to say "tarde"? 180 00:09:29,453 --> 00:09:31,187 Mmm, hey, you've said it twice, Marge-- 181 00:09:31,221 --> 00:09:33,422 you're in pretty deep. 182 00:09:33,457 --> 00:09:34,423 Homer! 183 00:09:34,458 --> 00:09:36,325 Ten-minute rule! 184 00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:37,493 Lisa! 185 00:09:37,527 --> 00:09:39,495 What? A rule's a rule. 186 00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:42,498 There he is! 187 00:09:42,532 --> 00:09:45,134 Ah, he is just riding that thermal! 188 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,203 You were right about watching him fly. 189 00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:48,571 I thought you'd get it. 190 00:09:48,605 --> 00:09:50,139 Seat backs and tray tables, Bart. 191 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,674 We're coming in for a landing. 192 00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:56,212 Wow, you don't know how impressive that is 193 00:09:56,246 --> 00:09:59,315 to a boy whose dad can't even get the dog to sit. 194 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,317 Sit. Sit. 195 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,486 Sit... 196 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,054 Sit! 197 00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:06,555 Sit! 198 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,757 I don't know what that is, 199 00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:10,726 but it's not sitting! 200 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,229 Where could Bart be? 201 00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:15,464 I saw him heading across the field after school 202 00:10:15,499 --> 00:10:18,567 with a kid a little bit older and undoubtedly wiser. 203 00:10:18,602 --> 00:10:21,837 Oh, I know what that means! 204 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:26,075 There comes a time when a boy sneaks his first beer. 205 00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:29,111 Finally! I was beginning to think that kid was a... 206 00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:30,880 teetotaler. 207 00:10:30,914 --> 00:10:33,082 Bart Simpson, at your service. 208 00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:35,451 More like "at your six-pack," am I right? 209 00:10:36,753 --> 00:10:39,255 It's okay if you need to take a little nap. 210 00:10:39,289 --> 00:10:40,689 Why would I want a nap? 211 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:44,093 Because you're so drunk you can barely keep it together. 212 00:10:44,127 --> 00:10:45,094 I wasn't drinking. 213 00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:46,362 I was learning that nature 214 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,063 isn't a complete waste of space. 215 00:10:48,098 --> 00:10:49,632 That doesn't sound like you. 216 00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:51,700 But it does sound like the kind of lie 217 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:54,837 you'd make up after the first time you got blitzed. 218 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:55,838 I met this kid. 219 00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,306 A little older, kind of strange. 220 00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,807 I don't think other people get him. 221 00:10:58,842 --> 00:11:01,110 But I just want to hang out with him all the time. 222 00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:03,379 It's even better than I thought. 223 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,482 You've found your Moe Szyslak! 224 00:11:06,507 --> 00:11:08,708 In just a few short years, 225 00:11:08,733 --> 00:11:10,733 you'll be getting your version of baked 226 00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:12,989 on your version of pot 227 00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:15,425 listening to your version of Journey. 228 00:11:16,761 --> 00:11:17,727 Wha...? 229 00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,329 What's he doing? 230 00:11:23,534 --> 00:11:25,201 Now, when he lands, you'll feed him 231 00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:28,204 so he has positive associations with you. 232 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,509 Don't worry, he's only bitten off one of my fingers. 233 00:11:34,211 --> 00:11:35,211 Just goofing on you. 234 00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:37,080 This is the finger he bit off. 235 00:11:40,818 --> 00:11:43,520 If he starts to carry you off, slip out of the glove. 236 00:11:43,554 --> 00:11:45,088 Now tell him to fly. 237 00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,623 Fly! Fly! 238 00:11:46,657 --> 00:11:49,459 Come on, man! Do the wing thing! 239 00:11:50,494 --> 00:11:51,528 I did it! He did it! 240 00:11:51,562 --> 00:11:52,829 We did it! 241 00:11:52,863 --> 00:11:53,830 Yes, Bart, that is 242 00:11:53,864 --> 00:11:55,231 how you conjugate the verb "to do." 243 00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:56,866 Well done. 244 00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:01,871 ♪ Come Saturday morning ♪ 245 00:12:01,906 --> 00:12:03,439 D'oh! 246 00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:08,077 ♪ I'm going away with my friend ♪ 247 00:12:08,112 --> 00:12:10,680 ♪ We'll Saturday spend ♪ 248 00:12:10,714 --> 00:12:15,251 ♪ Till the end of the day... ♪ 249 00:12:16,587 --> 00:12:18,321 Hey! 250 00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:19,923 Bring back my bling. 251 00:12:19,957 --> 00:12:22,392 ♪ Just I and my friend ♪ 252 00:12:22,426 --> 00:12:24,394 ♪ We'll travel for miles ♪ 253 00:12:24,428 --> 00:12:27,463 ♪ In our Saturday smiles ♪ 254 00:12:27,498 --> 00:12:28,498 Give that back! 255 00:12:28,532 --> 00:12:31,167 All I got is a hole in my face! 256 00:12:31,202 --> 00:12:33,670 Uncle Krusty's back. 257 00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:41,845 Whoa! Did you teach him to do that? 258 00:12:41,879 --> 00:12:44,681 Nobody could communicate that. 259 00:12:44,715 --> 00:12:46,816 Except maybe Gerard Manley Hopkins. 260 00:12:46,851 --> 00:12:48,985 "I caught this morning morning's minion 261 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,587 "Kingdom of daylight's dauphin, 262 00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:52,856 "Dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding 263 00:12:52,890 --> 00:12:56,359 "Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding 264 00:12:56,393 --> 00:13:00,129 High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing." 265 00:13:00,164 --> 00:13:01,965 Wow! 266 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,001 I've already eaten. 267 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,937 Hey, you want to see something really cool? 268 00:13:07,972 --> 00:13:10,473 Is a falcon's training leash called a creance? 269 00:13:10,507 --> 00:13:11,507 Yes! 270 00:13:21,752 --> 00:13:24,554 Say something so I'll know you're not hurt. 271 00:13:24,588 --> 00:13:26,456 I'm really hurt. Phew! 272 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:32,967 Bartholomew! 273 00:13:33,002 --> 00:13:34,235 Good to see you, old sport. 274 00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:35,603 Where's Freedom? 275 00:13:35,638 --> 00:13:38,306 Well, my dad said don't bring home any more dogs, cats, 276 00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:40,408 turtles or snakes, but he never 277 00:13:40,443 --> 00:13:43,478 said anything about predatory birds. 278 00:13:46,182 --> 00:13:49,551 Okay, in your terms, points are like mice... 279 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,153 Don't interrupt. I just thought 280 00:13:52,188 --> 00:13:54,055 it would be nice if we shared an interest. 281 00:13:56,726 --> 00:13:58,226 Ooh... 282 00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:01,062 You Korean girls know what a soldier likes. 283 00:14:02,998 --> 00:14:05,233 Fine! But the game is much more enjoyable 284 00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:06,468 if you understand it. 285 00:14:06,502 --> 00:14:08,536 Look, the Eagles and the Falcons. 286 00:14:08,571 --> 00:14:10,438 Tell me you're not interested in that. 287 00:14:12,508 --> 00:14:14,309 I could fly, too, if I didn't have 288 00:14:14,343 --> 00:14:15,810 a wife and three kids! 289 00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,413 Hey, you've had a lot of visitors. 290 00:14:18,447 --> 00:14:20,415 No, I signed them myself. 291 00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:22,650 They're people I would've liked to come visit. 292 00:14:22,685 --> 00:14:24,819 Ay, caramba! 293 00:14:24,854 --> 00:14:27,989 Listen, what happened in that tree? 294 00:14:28,023 --> 00:14:29,824 Um, you want the truth? 295 00:14:29,859 --> 00:14:31,059 Of course you do. 296 00:14:31,093 --> 00:14:32,460 You're like Diogenes. 297 00:14:32,495 --> 00:14:34,329 But with slingshot in place of lamp. 298 00:14:37,233 --> 00:14:39,834 I wanted to fly. 299 00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:41,870 I know it sounds a little crazy now, 300 00:14:41,904 --> 00:14:44,139 but I suddenly thought maybe we can all fly, 301 00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:46,407 but somehow we've forgotten that we can. 302 00:14:46,442 --> 00:14:48,743 You don't still think that, do you? 303 00:14:48,778 --> 00:14:51,412 Hey, I'm not flying anywhere with this broken wing. 304 00:14:52,948 --> 00:14:55,083 Bart, here's another doctor that would like 305 00:14:55,117 --> 00:14:57,185 a few words with this young man. 306 00:14:57,219 --> 00:15:00,522 This hospital has another doctor? 307 00:15:04,627 --> 00:15:07,095 So they're transferring him to another hospital. 308 00:15:07,129 --> 00:15:10,031 Well, I hope he gets out soon and takes his bird back. 309 00:15:10,065 --> 00:15:13,034 I don't care for how it circles the cat. 310 00:15:15,638 --> 00:15:17,939 He's just riding the thermals from Dad's butt. 311 00:15:17,973 --> 00:15:20,875 At least someone in this family is using them. 312 00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:22,377 I never heard of this new hospital, 313 00:15:22,411 --> 00:15:24,379 so I looked it up and printed it out. 314 00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:26,047 Ooh! 315 00:15:26,081 --> 00:15:27,549 Can I visit him tomorrow? 316 00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:29,784 I don't know, Bart. 317 00:15:29,819 --> 00:15:31,452 This is one of those 318 00:15:31,487 --> 00:15:34,255 Arkham Asylum-type hospitals. 319 00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:35,723 Diggs isn't cuckoo! 320 00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:37,225 Uh, listen, boy. 321 00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:38,860 Maybe you should spend more time 322 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,895 with your old best friend. 323 00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:42,430 You know, Dweebler. 324 00:15:42,464 --> 00:15:45,133 Milhouse abandoned me. 325 00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,935 So, why can't I go there? 326 00:15:46,969 --> 00:15:49,304 Bart, if this is what I think it is, 327 00:15:49,338 --> 00:15:52,874 it's not a place we should ever, ever take a little boy. 328 00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,509 Then why is Diggs there? 329 00:15:54,543 --> 00:15:57,712 Because it's his home forever. 330 00:16:00,416 --> 00:16:02,217 You know, Bart, 331 00:16:02,251 --> 00:16:04,118 just because Diggs is a little different 332 00:16:04,153 --> 00:16:06,788 doesn't mean he's not a good person. 333 00:16:06,822 --> 00:16:08,723 What would you know about friends like Diggs? 334 00:16:08,757 --> 00:16:10,225 I have about eight of them. 335 00:16:10,259 --> 00:16:11,960 So, how do we fix him? 336 00:16:11,994 --> 00:16:13,528 Oh, Bart. 337 00:16:13,562 --> 00:16:16,264 Diggs's problems don't have easy fixes. 338 00:16:16,298 --> 00:16:18,800 What kind of cheer-up talk is this? 339 00:16:18,834 --> 00:16:22,170 Well, sometimes it helps to know people feel for you. 340 00:16:22,204 --> 00:16:24,239 Want a hug? 341 00:16:27,509 --> 00:16:28,543 You hug the bedpost. 342 00:16:28,577 --> 00:16:29,811 Then I hug the bedpost. 343 00:16:29,845 --> 00:16:31,846 That way we never hug each other. 344 00:16:35,851 --> 00:16:40,321 ♪ Come Saturday morning ♪ 345 00:16:40,356 --> 00:16:43,491 ♪ I'm going away... ♪ 346 00:16:43,525 --> 00:16:44,492 Hey, Simpson. 347 00:16:44,526 --> 00:16:46,494 I heard bird boy got a new cage. 348 00:16:46,528 --> 00:16:48,997 One with rubber bars. 349 00:16:49,031 --> 00:16:51,032 Yeah, and a rubber perch! 350 00:16:51,066 --> 00:16:52,600 Yeah, yeah, and a... 351 00:16:52,635 --> 00:16:54,469 I get it. It sucks. 352 00:16:54,503 --> 00:16:55,737 Really sucks. 353 00:16:55,771 --> 00:16:57,672 Rubber birdfeeder. 354 00:16:57,706 --> 00:16:59,974 Making fun of the mentally ill-- 355 00:17:00,009 --> 00:17:01,843 real classy. 356 00:17:01,877 --> 00:17:02,844 But you guys were... 357 00:17:02,878 --> 00:17:04,812 We were what, Captain Sensitive? 358 00:17:08,350 --> 00:17:11,853 The rumors of my bonkertude have been greatly exaggerated. 359 00:17:11,887 --> 00:17:14,088 DSM-5 indicates paranoid schizophrenia, 360 00:17:14,123 --> 00:17:16,324 but that work is mired in controversy. 361 00:17:16,358 --> 00:17:17,325 Mired. 362 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:18,660 I knew you'd escape! 363 00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:20,662 Were you carried out by a flock of falcons? 364 00:17:20,696 --> 00:17:22,096 I got a one-day pass. 365 00:17:22,131 --> 00:17:23,564 Were falcons involved in any way? 366 00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:27,001 I obtained the pass to enter the Springfield Falconry Contest, 367 00:17:27,036 --> 00:17:28,803 which is what Freedom and I were training for 368 00:17:28,837 --> 00:17:30,071 when we first met you. 369 00:17:30,105 --> 00:17:31,205 Oh, great. 370 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,074 Before anything else, let me just get closer 371 00:17:33,108 --> 00:17:35,910 to the door and say, "How crazy are you?" 372 00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:38,346 I'm fine. My meds won't wear off till tonight. 373 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,749 Then I'll have Freedom tear you to shreds. 374 00:17:41,784 --> 00:17:43,584 No offense, but when a crazy guy 375 00:17:43,619 --> 00:17:46,421 pretends to be crazy, it's not funny. 376 00:17:46,455 --> 00:17:48,089 You're discounting all talk radio. 377 00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,267 Excellent. 378 00:17:59,301 --> 00:18:02,003 Fly, my pet, fly! 379 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:04,806 Yes! 380 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,075 Yes, now back to Papa. 381 00:18:07,109 --> 00:18:08,443 Yes. 382 00:18:10,179 --> 00:18:12,347 Why am I not surprised the only sport you do 383 00:18:12,381 --> 00:18:14,916 is one where a bird brings you food? 384 00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:17,085 Um, a falcon's greatest joy 385 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:18,453 is to serve its master. 386 00:18:18,487 --> 00:18:20,355 Fatso! 387 00:18:20,389 --> 00:18:21,856 Once again, I must point out 388 00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:23,224 that you are not a parrot. 389 00:18:23,258 --> 00:18:25,059 Fatso, fatso! Pees in the shower! 390 00:18:25,094 --> 00:18:27,261 Shut up. 391 00:18:30,132 --> 00:18:31,299 What are you doing? 392 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,300 We're up next. 393 00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:33,534 When Freedom hits the air, 394 00:18:33,569 --> 00:18:35,269 you and I open all the cages. 395 00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:36,537 Um... 396 00:18:36,572 --> 00:18:38,139 with our minds? 397 00:18:38,173 --> 00:18:39,207 No. 398 00:18:39,241 --> 00:18:40,375 With this rope. 399 00:18:40,409 --> 00:18:41,509 I'm a messed-up kid. 400 00:18:41,543 --> 00:18:43,044 I'm not Magneto. 401 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,113 Diggs and Freedom. 402 00:18:57,326 --> 00:18:58,459 "In his ecstasy. 403 00:18:58,494 --> 00:19:01,062 Then off, off forth on swing!" 404 00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,930 Where's my bird going? 405 00:19:02,965 --> 00:19:04,065 Wherever he wants. 406 00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,233 He's free now. 407 00:19:05,267 --> 00:19:07,535 If you see the stork what brings us babies, 408 00:19:07,569 --> 00:19:08,903 kill it! 409 00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:14,008 Now, Bart, I'm afraid one-day passes don't last forever. 410 00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:16,177 And I'm probably not going to get another one 411 00:19:16,211 --> 00:19:17,945 for quite a while. 412 00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:18,980 Wait! 413 00:19:19,014 --> 00:19:20,348 Wh-When will I see you? 414 00:19:20,382 --> 00:19:22,316 You can't quit the falconry club! 415 00:19:22,351 --> 00:19:24,152 It's all yours, Mr. President. 416 00:19:24,186 --> 00:19:26,421 Well, I guess some delicate birds 417 00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:28,756 are safer in a cage. 418 00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:30,892 I had thought of it as a therapeutic milieu, 419 00:19:30,926 --> 00:19:34,328 but now "cage" is stuck in my head, so thanks. 420 00:19:34,363 --> 00:19:36,931 And thanks for being my friend. 421 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,608 Bart, when I pushed you away, 422 00:19:47,643 --> 00:19:51,012 I was really pushing away the thought of losing you. 423 00:19:51,046 --> 00:19:53,247 How long did it take you to think that up? 424 00:19:53,282 --> 00:19:55,149 Two hours with the therapist. 425 00:19:55,184 --> 00:19:56,317 I'll take that. 426 00:19:56,351 --> 00:19:57,985 She came in on a Saturday. 427 00:19:58,020 --> 00:20:00,421 Missed her kid's karate demonstration. 428 00:20:00,456 --> 00:20:01,756 He was going up a belt. 429 00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:02,990 Enough! 430 00:20:10,715 --> 00:20:12,783 Mom, you didn't cook the falcon? 431 00:20:12,817 --> 00:20:15,118 Of course not. It's just duck. 432 00:20:15,153 --> 00:20:16,787 Aw. Aw. 433 00:20:19,157 --> 00:20:20,624 Pass the peas, please. 434 00:20:20,658 --> 00:20:25,658 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 435 00:21:07,536 --> 00:21:09,537 Shh!