1 00:00:21,066 --> 00:00:22,366 (squeals) 2 00:00:26,517 --> 00:00:27,817 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:33,044 --> 00:00:35,045 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:38,435 (Barney belches) 5 00:00:39,482 --> 00:00:41,513 (whistle blows) (yells) 6 00:00:46,764 --> 00:00:48,031 (beeping) 7 00:00:53,051 --> 00:00:55,152 (playing the blues) 8 00:00:56,187 --> 00:00:59,415 (playing the blues) 9 00:01:02,788 --> 00:01:03,868 D'oh! 10 00:01:04,168 --> 00:01:05,701 (tires screeching) 11 00:01:05,728 --> 00:01:06,997 (grunts) 12 00:01:08,208 --> 00:01:09,135 (electrical buzzing) 13 00:01:09,188 --> 00:01:12,223 - (Homer grunts) - MARGE: D'oh! Stupid fuse. 14 00:01:12,243 --> 00:01:15,243 ♪ The Simpsons 25x12 ♪ Diggs Original Air Date on March 9, 2014 15 00:01:15,264 --> 00:01:17,264 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 16 00:01:17,408 --> 00:01:18,868 Mmm! 17 00:01:22,506 --> 00:01:23,825 Maggie? 18 00:01:23,974 --> 00:01:24,907 Maggie! 19 00:01:25,109 --> 00:01:26,609 Maggie? 20 00:01:26,723 --> 00:01:27,670 Maggie! 21 00:01:27,681 --> 00:01:29,015 Mmm! 22 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,593 (honking) 23 00:01:36,257 --> 00:01:37,657 Mmm! 24 00:01:39,012 --> 00:01:40,679 (groans, growls) 25 00:01:40,707 --> 00:01:41,687 (grunts) 26 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,204 (honking) 27 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,005 (growling) 28 00:01:48,349 --> 00:01:49,916 Hmm... 29 00:01:50,563 --> 00:01:52,097 Maggie? 30 00:01:52,386 --> 00:01:53,901 - Maggie! - Hmm. 31 00:01:54,554 --> 00:01:55,757 Hey! 32 00:02:01,107 --> 00:02:02,739 Maggie! 33 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:20,573 And it's for all these reasons and more 34 00:02:20,593 --> 00:02:25,864 that the Kingdom of Moab is the least interesting in the Bible. 35 00:02:25,899 --> 00:02:27,159 Amen. 36 00:02:27,187 --> 00:02:28,781 Amen! We're done! 37 00:02:30,490 --> 00:02:32,390 Allow me to introduce our guest speaker 38 00:02:32,415 --> 00:02:35,455 - (Homer groans) - from the ill-advised mission in Indonesia, 39 00:02:35,474 --> 00:02:38,281 the Reverend Kartawijaya. 40 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,585 (Bart groans) 41 00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:42,517 - I know how you feel, young man. - Huh? 42 00:02:42,921 --> 00:02:45,633 The children in my village are just like you. 43 00:02:45,646 --> 00:02:48,713 One boy, named Sumadi, never comes to church. 44 00:02:48,734 --> 00:02:51,781 He is always tying the monkeys' tails together 45 00:02:51,798 --> 00:02:55,794 and yelling, "Tiger is gone," when, in fact, tiger is there. 46 00:02:55,815 --> 00:02:59,502 - Hmm! - Unfortunately, Sumadi is sick now. 47 00:02:59,525 --> 00:03:01,811 What?! Su-Sumadi has a problem? 48 00:03:01,835 --> 00:03:04,430 Sumadi and others equally doe-eyed... 49 00:03:04,444 --> 00:03:06,517 need urgent medical treatment. 50 00:03:06,526 --> 00:03:09,420 After all, we are all just children of Allah. 51 00:03:09,442 --> 00:03:12,415 I mean God. Sorry. Recent convert. 52 00:03:12,421 --> 00:03:13,855 Poor Sumadi. 53 00:03:13,866 --> 00:03:16,543 Born in such a terrible country. 54 00:03:16,556 --> 00:03:18,708 - Now, wait a minute. - But good news. 55 00:03:18,725 --> 00:03:22,006 To help him, we will now have a second collection. 56 00:03:22,022 --> 00:03:23,629 (congregation groans) 57 00:03:23,649 --> 00:03:25,655 Wasn't our sympathetic nodding enough? 58 00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:26,932 Mom, can I have some money? 59 00:03:26,953 --> 00:03:28,812 I'm sorry, honey. I'm all out. 60 00:03:28,832 --> 00:03:32,623 I spent all I had lighting that candle for Great Aunt Betty. 61 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,427 I hope that wasn't somebody's Aunt Betty or something. 62 00:03:37,449 --> 00:03:40,212 Dad, please? For Sumadi? 63 00:03:40,232 --> 00:03:43,251 Sorry, son, I only have 20s. And if God needs money, 64 00:03:43,271 --> 00:03:45,244 why doesn't he just write another Bible? 65 00:03:45,264 --> 00:03:46,731 The first one sold pretty well. 66 00:03:46,753 --> 00:03:50,774 Does anyone remember when it was considered rude to talk in church? 67 00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:52,423 Pipe down, Ned. 68 00:03:54,142 --> 00:03:55,868 Please? 69 00:03:58,978 --> 00:04:02,247 All right, son, but you have to pay me back. 70 00:04:04,524 --> 00:04:05,211 (sighs) 71 00:04:05,236 --> 00:04:06,563 Life is good. 72 00:04:06,585 --> 00:04:07,952 - Do you have my money? - What? 73 00:04:07,972 --> 00:04:09,612 - Do you have my money? - How could I? 74 00:04:09,632 --> 00:04:11,606 Right, right, too soon. 75 00:04:12,157 --> 00:04:13,900 - Do you have my money? - (groans) 76 00:04:16,262 --> 00:04:18,001 Seriously, do you have my money? 77 00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:20,145 Where's my money? 78 00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,062 Huh? 79 00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:25,704 (slurping) 80 00:04:28,254 --> 00:04:29,354 Where's my money? 81 00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,996 Where's... my... 82 00:04:33,025 --> 00:04:35,378 mon... ey? 83 00:04:35,614 --> 00:04:37,394 It's been a rough patch, man. 84 00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:39,011 Hope you got something to cheer me up. 85 00:04:39,032 --> 00:04:44,420 Well, there is one fun fact I've been saving for an emergency situation. 86 00:04:44,436 --> 00:04:47,305 Did you know there really was a Duncan Hines? 87 00:04:47,332 --> 00:04:49,359 Where's my money? Do you have my money? Where is it? 88 00:04:49,365 --> 00:04:51,930 You know, if you had the money, I'm right here. 89 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:54,179 Do you have the money? Money-money-money-money-mon... 90 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,740 Homer, quit badgering the boy. 91 00:04:57,757 --> 00:05:01,026 Pressure's how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge. 92 00:05:01,047 --> 00:05:02,914 I don't have any diamonds. 93 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,672 Quit pressuring me! 94 00:05:06,827 --> 00:05:09,340 Money, money. I need money! 95 00:05:09,369 --> 00:05:11,976 Would you eat anything for money? 96 00:05:11,989 --> 00:05:13,445 I guess. Who are you? 97 00:05:13,465 --> 00:05:15,785 School play. Damn Yankees. 98 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,669 Children of the playground! 99 00:05:19,618 --> 00:05:22,451 I will eat anything for money! 100 00:05:22,475 --> 00:05:23,748 Except money! 101 00:05:23,776 --> 00:05:26,636 I'll give you a quarter if you eat my gum. 102 00:05:27,546 --> 00:05:29,991 I'll give you another if you eat mine. 103 00:05:31,391 --> 00:05:33,424 Here's some orthodontic wax! 104 00:05:33,446 --> 00:05:34,746 (lisps): And some cinnamon! 105 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,297 Saint-John's-wort! 106 00:05:38,437 --> 00:05:41,988 And here's something that'll make you forget about the other stuff. 107 00:05:42,582 --> 00:05:44,115 BART: Ay caramba. 108 00:05:44,150 --> 00:05:45,057 (blubbers) 109 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,132 So, what else you got? 110 00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:48,613 All right, Simpson. 111 00:05:48,627 --> 00:05:53,712 20 big ones says you're not messed-up enough to eat... this. 112 00:05:53,738 --> 00:05:55,479 (laughs) 113 00:05:55,535 --> 00:05:56,669 (whimpers) 114 00:05:56,703 --> 00:05:57,422 (gasps) 115 00:05:57,447 --> 00:05:58,847 No, Bart, no! 116 00:05:58,871 --> 00:06:02,961 Do it, and you'll always be known as the kid who ate the dead frog. 117 00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,264 (Homer's voice): Where's my money? Get my money! 118 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,945 Money-money-money-money-money! 119 00:06:12,245 --> 00:06:14,179 (disgusted exclaiming) 120 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:18,154 (slurps, kids exclaim) 121 00:06:19,585 --> 00:06:21,218 Easiest money I ever... 122 00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:22,658 (beeping) 123 00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:25,570 Son, by rights, I should be playing banjo at your funeral. 124 00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:29,540 That frog was filled to the gills with formaldehyde, a highly toxic poison. 125 00:06:29,558 --> 00:06:31,002 (chuckles) 126 00:06:31,276 --> 00:06:33,323 - Here's your money, Dad. - What? 127 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,553 Did you owe me some money? 128 00:06:34,566 --> 00:06:37,708 And, Homer, here's your bill for $4,000. 129 00:06:37,724 --> 00:06:38,391 D'oh! 130 00:06:38,411 --> 00:06:40,804 Where's my money? You got my money? Where's my money? 131 00:06:40,829 --> 00:06:42,354 (chuckles) 132 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:43,931 Seriously, where's my money? 133 00:06:50,289 --> 00:06:53,822 Ew! It's the kid who ate the dead frog! 134 00:06:58,997 --> 00:07:00,025 Herbivore! 135 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,092 That's someone who eats plants. 136 00:07:02,114 --> 00:07:04,249 I named the frog Herb. 137 00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:06,997 Even you won't sit with me? 138 00:07:07,013 --> 00:07:09,348 Bart, if you sit here, I'll be the boy 139 00:07:09,368 --> 00:07:12,054 who sat next to the boy who ate the frog. 140 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,938 And I'm already the boy who shared a comb with a boy 141 00:07:14,955 --> 00:07:18,825 who threw up on the boy who wet his pants at the winter carnival. 142 00:07:18,984 --> 00:07:21,231 P.S. I would've given you the money. 143 00:07:21,261 --> 00:07:22,281 (groans) 144 00:07:23,454 --> 00:07:24,521 (tires screech) 145 00:07:26,478 --> 00:07:28,513 (school bell rings) 146 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:34,052 (tires squeal) 147 00:07:36,294 --> 00:07:38,454 What's the matter, frog in your throat? 148 00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:40,410 You're the ones that paid me to eat it. 149 00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:42,701 All we hear is: Ribbit, ribbit! 150 00:07:43,743 --> 00:07:44,823 (bird shrieks) 151 00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,088 (exclaiming) 152 00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:50,162 You said this was a simple bullying job! 153 00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,299 Diggs and Freedom at your service. 154 00:07:55,312 --> 00:07:57,001 Diggs is short for Digby. 155 00:07:57,021 --> 00:07:59,434 Thanks. I'm the kid that ate the frog. 156 00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:03,162 Oh, so you're the reason I had to dissect a Muppet in biology today. 157 00:08:06,392 --> 00:08:08,518 Thanks for the help, man. Oh, you're welcome. 158 00:08:08,533 --> 00:08:09,698 At least for me. 159 00:08:09,719 --> 00:08:11,479 There's no way to say what the bird thinks. 160 00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:13,820 Or even if he thinks, really. 161 00:08:14,116 --> 00:08:16,076 Wait, wait, wait! Who the hell are you? 162 00:08:16,091 --> 00:08:17,704 I transferred here a few months ago. 163 00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:19,934 To this school? On purpose? 164 00:08:19,963 --> 00:08:23,154 Even after Springfield Montessori opened across the street? 165 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,315 (gentle classical music plays) 166 00:08:28,677 --> 00:08:30,790 That place is really in your face. 167 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,354 I like the lack of attention. 168 00:08:32,376 --> 00:08:33,944 (quietly): Especially in here. 169 00:08:38,028 --> 00:08:39,662 (door creaks softly) 170 00:08:42,378 --> 00:08:44,452 This school has a falconry club? 171 00:08:44,471 --> 00:08:45,472 No way. 172 00:08:45,495 --> 00:08:46,958 I resuscitated it. 173 00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:50,443 I'm president, secretary treasurer and faculty advisor. 174 00:08:50,466 --> 00:08:52,479 That took a lot of fancy paperwork. 175 00:08:52,509 --> 00:08:54,990 But it was worth it to be left alone. 176 00:08:55,999 --> 00:08:57,259 Can I join? 177 00:08:57,285 --> 00:08:59,598 Hmm. I'll have to check with Freedom. 178 00:08:59,615 --> 00:09:00,550 (loud clink) 179 00:09:00,691 --> 00:09:01,997 Habemus Papam! 180 00:09:02,018 --> 00:09:03,697 We have a poop! 181 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,421 It's white. You're in. 182 00:09:07,162 --> 00:09:10,648 Looks like the falconry club's back from the dead. 183 00:09:10,668 --> 00:09:12,740 Can the Esperanto Society be far behind? 184 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,653 (chuckles): I mean... 185 00:09:13,676 --> 00:09:17,579 Cu la Esperanto-Societo esti multe malantau? 186 00:09:17,607 --> 00:09:18,380 (sighs) 187 00:09:18,405 --> 00:09:21,511 Two languages, and somehow no one will talk to you. 188 00:09:21,538 --> 00:09:23,078 Gi estas vera. 189 00:09:23,106 --> 00:09:25,122 - Mi tre soleca. - Loser. 190 00:09:25,142 --> 00:09:28,811 The first thing to learn about falcons is how beautiful they are in flight. 191 00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:29,979 (screeches) 192 00:09:30,013 --> 00:09:33,015 ♪ ♪ 193 00:09:33,182 --> 00:09:35,389 Don't fret. He'll be back. 194 00:09:36,205 --> 00:09:38,012 There's my Sky Gramma! 195 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:39,398 (mumbles) 196 00:09:39,423 --> 00:09:43,853 Bart's usually first in line for Taco Night, but now he's muy tarde. 197 00:09:43,872 --> 00:09:46,092 (quiet gasp) Oh, is it all right to say "tarde"? 198 00:09:46,111 --> 00:09:49,315 Mmm, hey, you've said it twice, Marge-- you're in pretty deep. 199 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:52,453 - Homer! - Ten-minutes rules! 200 00:09:53,136 --> 00:09:54,216 Lisa! 201 00:09:54,237 --> 00:09:56,270 (muffled): What? A rule's a rule. 202 00:09:57,653 --> 00:09:59,154 There he is! (gasps) 203 00:09:59,175 --> 00:10:01,946 Ah, he is just riding that thermal! 204 00:10:01,971 --> 00:10:04,324 You were right about watching him fly. 205 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:07,005 I thought you'd get it. Seat backs and tray tables, Bart. 206 00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:08,345 We're coming in for a landing. 207 00:10:08,371 --> 00:10:09,571 (screeches) 208 00:10:11,019 --> 00:10:13,266 Wow, you don't know how impressive that is 209 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,138 to a boy whose dad can't even get the dog to sit. 210 00:10:16,392 --> 00:10:18,096 Sit. Sit. 211 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,174 Sit... 212 00:10:20,270 --> 00:10:21,804 Sit! 213 00:10:21,851 --> 00:10:23,198 (yells): Sit! 214 00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:25,580 I don't know what that is, 215 00:10:25,593 --> 00:10:27,449 but it's not sitting! 216 00:10:28,009 --> 00:10:29,876 Where could Bart be? 217 00:10:29,899 --> 00:10:32,057 I saw him heading across the field after school 218 00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:35,364 with a kid a little bit older and undoubtedly wiser. 219 00:10:35,390 --> 00:10:38,450 Oh, I know what that means! 220 00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:42,685 There comes a time when a boy sneaks his first beer. 221 00:10:42,698 --> 00:10:46,119 Finally! I was beginning to think that kid was a... 222 00:10:46,132 --> 00:10:47,512 (quietly): Teetotaler. 223 00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:49,711 Bart Simpson, at your service. 224 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,539 More like "at your six-pack," am I right? 225 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:53,692 (laughs) 226 00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:55,932 It's okay if you need to take a little nap. 227 00:10:55,958 --> 00:10:57,278 Why would I want a nap? 228 00:10:57,307 --> 00:11:00,791 Because you're so drunk you can barely keep it together. 229 00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:02,761 I wasn't drinking. I was learning that nature 230 00:11:02,781 --> 00:11:04,702 isn't a complete waste of space. 231 00:11:04,715 --> 00:11:06,322 That doesn't sound like you. 232 00:11:06,335 --> 00:11:08,423 But it does sound like the kind of lie 233 00:11:08,445 --> 00:11:11,486 you'd make up after the first time you got blitzed. 234 00:11:11,514 --> 00:11:14,121 I met this kid. A little older, kind of strange. 235 00:11:14,149 --> 00:11:15,480 I don't think other people get him. 236 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,740 But I just want to hang out with him all the time. 237 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,487 (gasps) 238 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,345 It's even better than I thought. 239 00:11:20,364 --> 00:11:23,366 You've found your Moe Szyslak! 240 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:27,670 In just a few short years, you'll be getting your version of baked 241 00:11:27,689 --> 00:11:32,135 on your version of pot listening to your version of Journey. 242 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,696 (laughs) 243 00:11:33,711 --> 00:11:35,571 Wha...? What's he doing? 244 00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:39,816 (Freedom cries) 245 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:44,176 Now, when he lands, you'll feed him so he has positive associations with you. 246 00:11:45,255 --> 00:11:46,375 (squawks) 247 00:11:46,397 --> 00:11:48,897 Don't worry, he's only bitten off one of my fingers. 248 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,363 - (gasps) - (laughs) 249 00:11:50,383 --> 00:11:53,658 Just goofing on you. This is the finger he bit off. 250 00:11:57,155 --> 00:11:59,962 If he starts to carry you off, slip out of the glove. 251 00:11:59,977 --> 00:12:01,475 Now tell him to fly. 252 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,125 Fly! Fly! 253 00:12:03,146 --> 00:12:05,589 Come on, man! Do the wing thing! 254 00:12:05,988 --> 00:12:06,796 (Freedom squawking) 255 00:12:06,816 --> 00:12:09,143 I did it! He did it! We did it! 256 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:12,089 Yes, Bart, that is how you conjugate the verb "to do." 257 00:12:12,109 --> 00:12:13,181 Well done. 258 00:12:15,593 --> 00:12:19,066 ♪ Come Saturday morning ♪ 259 00:12:19,092 --> 00:12:20,226 D'oh! 260 00:12:20,244 --> 00:12:24,847 ♪ I'm going away with my friend ♪ 261 00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:27,294 ♪ We'll Saturday spend ♪ 262 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:32,549 ♪ Till the end of the day... ♪ 263 00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:37,954 - Hey! Bring back my bling. ♪ Just I and my friend ♪ 264 00:12:38,742 --> 00:12:41,016 ♪ We'll travel for miles ♪ 265 00:12:41,017 --> 00:12:44,002 ♪ In our Saturday smiles ♪ 266 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:47,505 Give that back! All I got is a hole in my face! 267 00:12:47,519 --> 00:12:49,759 (nasally): Uncle Krusty's back. 268 00:12:54,184 --> 00:12:55,885 (Freedom cries) 269 00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:58,208 Whoa! Did you teach him to do that? 270 00:12:58,222 --> 00:12:59,068 (laughs) 271 00:12:59,093 --> 00:13:01,093 Nobody could communicate that. 272 00:13:01,104 --> 00:13:03,351 Except maybe Gerard Manley Hopkins. 273 00:13:03,364 --> 00:13:05,325 "I caught this morning morning's minion 274 00:13:05,345 --> 00:13:06,848 "Kingdom of daylight's dauphin, 275 00:13:06,868 --> 00:13:09,378 "Dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding 276 00:13:09,393 --> 00:13:12,983 "Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding 277 00:13:12,995 --> 00:13:16,464 High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing." 278 00:13:16,634 --> 00:13:18,012 Wow! 279 00:13:18,511 --> 00:13:19,591 (frog croaks) 280 00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:20,951 I've already eaten. 281 00:13:21,397 --> 00:13:24,504 Hey, you want to see something really cool? 282 00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:27,035 Is a falcon's training leash called a creance? 283 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,214 Yes! 284 00:13:37,632 --> 00:13:38,421 (grunts) 285 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,641 Say something so I'll know you're not hurt. 286 00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:43,008 - DIGGS: I'm really hurt. - Phew! 287 00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:49,804 Bartholomew! 288 00:13:49,823 --> 00:13:51,384 Good to see you, old sport. 289 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:52,306 Where's Freedom? 290 00:13:52,328 --> 00:13:55,261 Well, my dad said don't bring home any more dogs, cats, 291 00:13:55,274 --> 00:14:00,191 turtles or snakes, but he never said anything about predatory birds. 292 00:14:00,675 --> 00:14:01,548 (muffled squawk) 293 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,816 (fans cheering) 294 00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:06,207 Okay, in your terms, points are like mice... 295 00:14:06,227 --> 00:14:07,460 (screeches) 296 00:14:07,476 --> 00:14:10,869 Don't interrupt. I just thought it would be nice if we shared an interest. 297 00:14:10,888 --> 00:14:12,360 (Freedom screeches) 298 00:14:13,822 --> 00:14:14,875 GRAMPA: Ooh... 299 00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:18,497 You Korean girls know what a soldier likes. 300 00:14:18,787 --> 00:14:19,767 (squawks) 301 00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:23,735 Fine! But the game is much more enjoyable if you understand it. 302 00:14:23,752 --> 00:14:25,459 Look, the Eagles and the Falcons. 303 00:14:25,479 --> 00:14:27,032 Tell me you're not interested in that. 304 00:14:27,056 --> 00:14:28,152 (Freedom screeches) 305 00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:29,238 (groans) 306 00:14:29,257 --> 00:14:32,458 I could fly, too, if I didn't have a wife and three kids! 307 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:35,733 Hey, you've had a lot of visitors. 308 00:14:35,746 --> 00:14:37,260 No, I signed them myself. 309 00:14:37,281 --> 00:14:39,741 They're people I would've liked to come visit. 310 00:14:39,764 --> 00:14:41,300 BART: Ay, caramba! 311 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,760 Listen, what happened in that tree? 312 00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:46,950 Um, you want the truth? 313 00:14:46,958 --> 00:14:49,231 Of course you do. You're like Diogenes. 314 00:14:49,246 --> 00:14:51,228 But with slingshot in place of lamp. 315 00:14:54,386 --> 00:14:56,059 I wanted to fly. 316 00:14:56,668 --> 00:14:58,786 I know it sounds a little crazy now, 317 00:14:58,799 --> 00:15:01,313 but I suddenly thought maybe we can all fly, 318 00:15:01,332 --> 00:15:03,259 but somehow we've forgotten that we can. 319 00:15:03,272 --> 00:15:05,602 You don't still think that, do you? 320 00:15:05,628 --> 00:15:08,411 Hey, I'm not flying anywhere with this broken wing. 321 00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:11,933 Bart, here's another doctor that would like 322 00:15:11,946 --> 00:15:13,513 a few words with this young man. 323 00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:17,344 This hospital has another doctor? 324 00:15:21,406 --> 00:15:23,919 So they're transferring him to another hospital. 325 00:15:23,941 --> 00:15:26,791 Well, I hope he gets out soon and takes his bird back. 326 00:15:26,811 --> 00:15:29,604 I don't care for how it circles the cat. 327 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:32,170 (cat meowing) 328 00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,857 He's just riding the thermals from Dad's butt. 329 00:15:34,877 --> 00:15:37,664 At least someone in this family is using them. 330 00:15:37,689 --> 00:15:41,396 I never heard of this new hospital, so I looked it up and printed it out. 331 00:15:41,412 --> 00:15:42,692 Ooh! 332 00:15:42,713 --> 00:15:44,480 Can I visit him tomorrow? 333 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:45,247 (sighs) 334 00:15:45,272 --> 00:15:46,832 I don't know, Bart. 335 00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:51,110 This is one of those Arkham Asylum-type hospitals. 336 00:15:51,136 --> 00:15:52,509 Diggs isn't cuckoo! 337 00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,099 Uh, listen, boy. 338 00:15:54,124 --> 00:15:57,971 Maybe you should spend more time with your old best friend. 339 00:15:57,984 --> 00:16:01,749 - You know, Dweebler. - Milhouse abandoned me. 340 00:16:01,759 --> 00:16:03,659 So, why can't I go there? 341 00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:05,814 Bart, if this is what I think it is, 342 00:16:05,827 --> 00:16:09,666 it's not a place we should ever, ever take a little boy. 343 00:16:09,693 --> 00:16:11,453 Then why is Diggs there? 344 00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:14,653 Because it's his home forever. 345 00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:19,008 You know, Bart, 346 00:16:19,030 --> 00:16:21,330 just because Diggs is a little different 347 00:16:21,349 --> 00:16:23,586 doesn't mean he's not a good person. 348 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,508 What would you know about friends like Diggs? 349 00:16:25,536 --> 00:16:28,808 - I have about eight of them. - So, how do we fix him? 350 00:16:28,832 --> 00:16:30,199 Oh, Bart. 351 00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:33,400 Diggs's problems don't have easy fixes. 352 00:16:33,703 --> 00:16:35,650 What kind of cheer-up talk is this? 353 00:16:35,670 --> 00:16:39,191 Well, sometimes it helps to know people feel for you. 354 00:16:39,222 --> 00:16:41,257 (chuckles) Want a hug? 355 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,494 You hug the bedpost. Then I hug the bedpost. 356 00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:48,290 That way we never hug each other. 357 00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:57,032 ♪ Come Saturday morning ♪ 358 00:16:57,828 --> 00:17:00,150 ♪ I'm going away... ♪ 359 00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:01,297 Hey, Simpson. 360 00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:03,656 I heard bird boy got a new cage. 361 00:17:03,673 --> 00:17:05,793 One with rubber bars. 362 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,972 Yeah, and a rubber perch! 363 00:17:07,991 --> 00:17:11,322 - Yeah, yeah, and a... - I get it. It sucks. 364 00:17:11,342 --> 00:17:14,662 - Really sucks. - Rubber birdfeeder. 365 00:17:14,688 --> 00:17:16,881 Making fun of the mentally ill-- 366 00:17:16,901 --> 00:17:18,594 real classy. 367 00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:21,626 - But you guys were... - We were what, Captain Sensitive? 368 00:17:25,316 --> 00:17:28,706 The rumors of my bonkertude have been greatly exaggerated. 369 00:17:28,725 --> 00:17:30,985 DSM-5 indicates paranoid schizophrenia, 370 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,401 but that work is mired in controversy. 371 00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:35,439 - Mired. - I knew you'd escape! 372 00:17:35,473 --> 00:17:37,441 Were you carried out by a flock of falcons? 373 00:17:37,468 --> 00:17:38,868 I got a one-day pass. 374 00:17:38,896 --> 00:17:40,489 Were falcons involved in any way? 375 00:17:40,502 --> 00:17:43,793 I obtained the pass to enter the Springfield Falconry Contest, 376 00:17:43,815 --> 00:17:46,881 which is what Freedom and I were training for when we first met you. 377 00:17:46,910 --> 00:17:47,963 Oh, great. 378 00:17:47,972 --> 00:17:49,931 Before anything else, let me just get closer 379 00:17:49,951 --> 00:17:52,814 to the door and say, "How crazy are you?" 380 00:17:52,831 --> 00:17:55,111 I'm fine. My meds won't wear off till tonight. 381 00:17:55,138 --> 00:17:58,536 Then I'll have Freedom tear you to shreds. 382 00:17:58,563 --> 00:18:03,163 No offense, but when a crazy guy pretends to be crazy, it's not funny. 383 00:18:03,180 --> 00:18:04,920 You're discounting all talk radio. 384 00:18:14,819 --> 00:18:16,040 Excellent. 385 00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:19,354 COMIC BOOK GUY: Fly, my pet, fly! 386 00:18:19,904 --> 00:18:21,337 Yes! 387 00:18:21,363 --> 00:18:23,737 (falcon cries) - Yes, now back to Papa. 388 00:18:24,054 --> 00:18:25,451 Yes. 389 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,291 Why am I not surprised the only sport you do 390 00:18:29,311 --> 00:18:31,831 is one where a bird brings you food? 391 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:35,368 Um, a falcon's greatest joy is to serve its master. 392 00:18:35,392 --> 00:18:37,099 (squawks) Fatso! 393 00:18:37,121 --> 00:18:40,003 Once again, I must point out that you are not a parrot. 394 00:18:40,037 --> 00:18:42,357 Fatso, fatso! Pees in the shower! 395 00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:44,137 - (squawks) - Shut up. 396 00:18:46,944 --> 00:18:49,020 - What are you doing? - We're up next. 397 00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:52,209 When Freedom hits the air, you and I open all the cages. 398 00:18:52,336 --> 00:18:54,918 Um... with our minds? 399 00:18:55,123 --> 00:18:57,243 No. With this rope. 400 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,648 I'm a messed-up kid. I'm not Magneto. 401 00:19:00,063 --> 00:19:01,880 ANNOUNCER: Diggs and Freedom. 402 00:19:11,341 --> 00:19:12,908 (all squawking) 403 00:19:14,231 --> 00:19:18,238 "In his ecstasy. Then off, off forth on swing!" 404 00:19:18,268 --> 00:19:19,855 Where's my bird going? 405 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,133 Wherever he wants. He's free now. 406 00:19:22,146 --> 00:19:25,734 If you see the stork what brings us babies, kill it! 407 00:19:27,811 --> 00:19:31,027 Now, Bart, I'm afraid one-day passes don't last forever. 408 00:19:31,048 --> 00:19:34,708 And I'm probably not going to get another one for quite a while. 409 00:19:34,726 --> 00:19:35,846 Wait! 410 00:19:35,865 --> 00:19:37,251 Wh-When will I see you? 411 00:19:37,268 --> 00:19:39,241 You can't quit the falconry club! 412 00:19:39,256 --> 00:19:41,003 It's all yours, Mr. President. 413 00:19:41,032 --> 00:19:45,552 Well, I guess some delicate birds are safer in a cage. 414 00:19:45,570 --> 00:19:47,883 I had thought of it as a therapeutic milieu, 415 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:51,254 but now "cage" is stuck in my head, so thanks. 416 00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:53,610 And thanks for being my friend. 417 00:20:02,245 --> 00:20:04,642 Bart, when I pushed you away, 418 00:20:04,655 --> 00:20:08,017 I was really pushing away the thought of losing you. 419 00:20:08,465 --> 00:20:10,038 How long did it take you to think that up? 420 00:20:10,061 --> 00:20:12,254 Two hours with the therapist. 421 00:20:12,282 --> 00:20:14,764 - I'll take that. - She came in on a Saturday. 422 00:20:14,799 --> 00:20:17,299 Missed her kid's karate demonstration. 423 00:20:17,322 --> 00:20:19,817 - He was going up a belt. - Enough! 424 00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,241 Mom, you didn't cook the falcon? 425 00:20:29,256 --> 00:20:31,656 Of course not. It's just duck. 426 00:20:31,669 --> 00:20:33,240 - Aw. - Aw. 427 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,567 (munching loudly) 428 00:20:35,882 --> 00:20:37,549 Pass the peas, please. 429 00:20:37,743 --> 00:20:42,743 Captioning sponsored by 20TH CENTURY FOX TELEVISION and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 430 00:21:24,235 --> 00:21:25,357 Shh!