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Now kids, When aunt Robin was the teenager.
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She was, well, the Canadian pop star.
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But by 2008, she was the entirely different person.
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Coming up next,is your baby trying to kill you
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Which maybe events that week, all the more surprising.
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So, I got up this morning, its freezing.
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So I walked over there.
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And I don't know why I am still talking.
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Because clearly we are all asking the same question.
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What in god's creation is going on with Robin's breasts.
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I know, right, isn't that amazing.
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I spent half an hour making these happen
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Its tape in there, cotton balls,
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half of a Nerf football, but it works, right?
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Totally. What's the occasion?
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And old friend from Canada is in town
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and I'm meeting him for a drink.
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Ooh! Somebody you went to Degrassi with?
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No. Actually, he was my first boyfriend.
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Simon. I thought he was the coolest guy ever.
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He smelled like Drakkar.
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He could ollie on a skateboard.
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He had the most amazing collection
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of Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts.
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We spent the whole summer madly in love.
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Tell me more. Tell me more.
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Like, did he have a car?
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So he's the guy who...
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How shall I say this like a gentleman?
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Robin, did he take your maple leaf?
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No, it wasn't like that.
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Sounds to me like he gave you your first "O, Canada!" face.
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NARROR: This went on for a really long time.
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Some of them jokes were elegant and well-crafted...
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Wait, wait. Did he break up with you
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and tell you he's just not that Inuit?
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(laughing)
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NARRATOR: ...others were crude, and ill-formed...
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Um, something about fur trapping.
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NARRATOR: ...and others were obvious, but needed to be said...
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Did you ride his Zamboni?
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Wait, wait, wait. Did he...?
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I think I'm out.
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Yeah, I'm also "oot."
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Okay, now I'm really out.
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Well, I'm sorry, guys. It was all very tame.
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We only dated for a week and a half.
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Wha...? I thought you said you were together all summer.
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Yeah. Summer in Canada is pretty much the last week of July.
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Anyway, one night,
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his band just finish playing this gig...
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(panting)
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Oh, my God! Simon.
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That was such a good show.
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You guys totally rocked out.
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Yeah.
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I know.
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I figure we're about four or five gigs away
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from really exploding.
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We're gonna be big, babe.
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I mean, like Crash-Test-Dummies big.
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So, that everything?
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Listen, babe...
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It's over.
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What?
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I'm getting back together with Louise Marsh.
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Louise Marsh?!
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That's a whore's name if I ever heard one.
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Yeah, why would he want to get back together with Louise Marsh?
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Well, the thing is...
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her folks just put in a pool.
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Oh... So...
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I totally... I get it.
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Pools are great.
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Swimming's awesome.
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We have a sprinkler.
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Run right through it.
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Well, I should go.
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Uh...
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Babe, wait.
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Yeah, Simon?
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You forgot to load the drum set.
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No!
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Tell me you did not load the drum set.
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(drums feet): I did.
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(all groaning)
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And now he's coming here?
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Robin, why do you want to see this guy?
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Oh! I know why.
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You're gonna win, aren't you?
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I have no idea what you' talking about.
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Yes, you do.
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Whenever you haven't seen someone for a long time,
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no matter how much you want to deny it,
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there's always a clear winner and a clear loser.
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Well, since you brought it up,
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let's add up the points.
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You're starting out with two big ones right there.
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Thank you.
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Okay. So, Simon still lives with his mom.
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Point Robin.
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Um, he never became
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a rock star.
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Point Robin.
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He now works at a water slide park outside of Ottawa.
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Point Simon.
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Wait. Do they have a wave pool?
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No.
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Ah. Point Robin. That's five-zip.
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There's no coming back from that.
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Yeah, he's going down.
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I mean, unless somehow, he got hotter.
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There he is.
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NARRATOR: And sure enough, there was a clear winner,
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and a clear loser.
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NARRATOR: It just wasn't clear to everybody.
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Hey, babe.
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(giggling): Oh, my God.
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Okay, what the hell just happened?
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Oh, come on, it wasn't so bad, was it?
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(others groan)
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Hey, Simon.
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Wow, look at you.
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You got old.
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ROBIN: Yeah.
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You look great.
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You got hotter,
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like that's possible.
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(giggles)
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So...
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Look, I know it didn't go as planned,
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but I can't help it.
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I mean...
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he's still got it.
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Whoa! Four bucks for a brew?
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What a rip.
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Good think I'm packing.
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(giggles)
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So he's not a snob.
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He's from a different part
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of Canada, you know?
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The maple leaf flag on the back of the pickup truck?
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He's Red Province.
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He's from the Deep North.
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The thing is,
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we gave you so many opportunities.
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So, Simon,
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Robin's a bit of a local celebrity here in New York.
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She's the lead anchor at Metro News One.
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Tell him, Robin.
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No. It's stupid.
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It's not cool, like Simon's shirt.
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I'm sorry, Simon.
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Here we are nattering on about our big celebrity.
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What do you do for a living?
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Oh, I work at the Splish Splash Ottawa Water Slide Park.
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Huh! A water slide park.
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That sure is different than what Robin does.
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Yeah, it is... because I save lives.
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If I'm not sitting in that stool
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at the top of the slide, going...
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Go...
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Go...
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Go...
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people die.
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What, you think it's so easy?
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You try it.
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Um... (clears throat)... okay.
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Go.
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You didn't put your hand up; kid just died.
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No, I didn't know...
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Another kid just went; he died too.
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Oh, well, sure. I mean, if I was actually...
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Another kid just went; now you've got a pile-up
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and Robin's got something to report on the news.
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This just in: My friend, Ted, just killed a bunch of kids today.
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Well, that's cool.
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You got to pay the bills somehow
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since your whole music thing didn't really pan out, did it?
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Well, it hasn't panned out yet, but the band's still going.
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About four or five gigs
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away from really exploding.
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The Foreskins are still playing?
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The Foreskins?
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How'd you guys come up with that name?
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(sighs) Well, there's four of us,
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and we play without shirts.
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Babe, seriously.
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I know. I'm sorry.
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I know. I'm sorry.
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But you guys just don't understand.
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The fact that he kept the band going-- that's impressive.
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I mean, I gave up my musical dream.
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Which brings us to the most important piece
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of information from tonight.
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So, Simon,
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how did you guys meet?
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Oh, I was in her video.
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Starred in it is more like it.
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Well, once you win Mr. Teen Winnipeg,
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everybody wants a piece of the moneymaker.
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I'm sorry. I've seen "Let's Go to the Mall"
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about a thousand times, and you, sir, are not in it.
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No, I was in the other one.
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There's another video?!
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Robin, seriously,
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just make this easier on yourself
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and give us the tape.
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No.
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All right.
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You leave me no choice.
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From this moment on,
217
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I will spend every waking minute ching down this tape.
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I will not sleep. I will not eat.
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My life will be a living hell of search engines
220
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and overseas phone calls,
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chasing down something that possibly can't be found.
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Okay.
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It's just...
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It was so hard to watch, Robin.
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You're usually so cool.
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I don't know what's wrong with me.
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I'm sitting next to Simon, and suddenly I'm 16 again.
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Oh, it's actually a common thing.
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When you're around someone from your past,
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you kind of revert back to who you were
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when you knew them.
232
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There's not really a name for it, though.
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It's called "revertigo."
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Yeah, I don't know about "revertigo."
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You know who gets really bad revertigo?
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(whispers): Lily when she around
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her high school friend, Michelle.
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Michelle? She sounds hot.
239
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You don't know about Lily and Michelle?
240
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,220
No. What about Lily and Michelle?
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Oh, my friend, you are in for a treat.
242
00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:14,590
Hey, Lil? What?
243
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You know, I was just thinking,
244
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:17,920
we haven't seen your friend Michelle in a while.
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Oh, yeah. I'll give her a call, see if she wants to hang out.
246
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Yeah.
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What... (stammers) Do they make out?
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Better.
249
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Comparable. Comparable.
250
00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:32,460
Whatever. It's over. I lost.
251
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I guess you, uh, you don't get second chance.
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I got a second chance.
253
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What happened?
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He came by my place tonight...
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00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:43,620
Simon. What are you doing here?
256
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I just feel like there's some unfinished business
257
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between you and me.
258
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Seeing you now...
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has made me realize that breaking up with you
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is the biggest mistake I made in my entire life.
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Oh, I like where this is going.
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I know this is crazy,
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and I'm only in town for a couple of days,
264
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but do you want to go on a date?
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He asked you out?!
266
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Oh, step into my web, Simon.
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The coup de grace.
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(a la Mortal Kombat): Finish him!
269
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I'd love to!
270
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,390
Wait. You're going on a date with Simon?
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That Simon?The one we met?
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Robin, this guy doesn't deserve a second chance.
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Not after the way he treated you.
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That was ten years ago. People evolve.
275
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,830
I mean, are you the same person that you were in high school?
276
00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:37,190
Oh, hell, no!
277
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,890
I think you're gonna enjoy this.
278
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,490
That my girl Michelle? Bitch, you know it!
279
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:45,350
How she livin'? She living only way she know how to.
280
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,690
Large!
281
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:49,490
Oh, girl, you gots to get your drink on up in here.
282
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,290
I'm hoping my t ass can hustle me up a vodka-Gatorade.
283
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:54,060
For reals.
284
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,550
I want her around all the time.
285
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,920
I'd even consider not trying to sleep with her
286
00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:04,230
if that's what it takes.
287
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:08,030
Guys, I've decided to seduce Michelle.
288
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,950
(rock music playing)
289
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,050
(laughs)
290
00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:14,720
(song ends)
291
00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:15,950
(Robin whoops)
292
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,450
Yeah! Guys, that was great.
293
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,090
Let's take five.
294
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:20,820
Hey, babe, did you like it
295
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:23,320
after my bass solo when I flicked my pick at you?
296
00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:24,520
That rocked.
297
00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:26,190
Yeah.
298
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,450
Uh, 'cause I'm gonna need that pick back.
299
00:11:28,460 --> 00:11:29,890
Oh, uh, sure.
300
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,490
Um, I think it...
301
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,520
It's cool. You'll find it later. Oh, cool.
302
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:35,590
I wish I didn't have to go to work in the morning.
303
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:36,990
Oh, but, babe, you got to go to work.
304
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,050
You got to play our demo on your show.
305
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:40,850
Oh, well, you know, it's not a show.
306
00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:42,250
It's the news.
307
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:43,620
Right. So you can be, like,
308
00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:45,090
"Hey, did you hear there's some news?
309
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,120
There's a rad band you guys should check out."
310
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:48,520
And then play it.
311
00:11:48,530 --> 00:11:51,260
Or just, like, the first three songs.
312
00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:54,390
And now it's time for "Puppy Corner,"
313
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,090
some little angels looking for a new home,
314
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,690
courtesy of the Midtown Animal Shelter.
315
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,920
* Murder
316
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:06,600
♪ Climb aboard the Murder Train ♪
317
00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:09,990
* Murder
318
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,230
♪ Climb aboard the Murder Train... ♪
319
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,190
Hey, a lot of puppies got adopted.
320
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,120
Of course, a lot of the people calling in thought
321
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,990
we were going to kill them.
322
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,250
Robin, your revertigo is really starting to affect your work.
323
00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:26,990
What's revertigo?
324
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,850
It's a stupid, made-up word with no meaning.
325
00:12:28,860 --> 00:12:30,490
No. It's a phenomenon where,
326
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,420
when you're around people from your past,
327
00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:34,420
you start behaving like them.
328
00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:37,220
Oh. One example of that springs to mind.
329
00:12:37,230 --> 00:12:39,830
I think we all know what it is.
330
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,890
You do?
331
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:43,590
Yeah. Ted.
332
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:44,890
Me?
333
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:46,590
Whenever Ted's friend Punchy comes into town,
334
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,220
it's like, all of a sudden, Ted's in high school again.
335
00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:50,620
TED: Okay, okay.
336
00:12:50,630 --> 00:12:52,950
First of all, his name is Adam Punciarello,
337
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,690
and I don't do that.
338
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:55,950
(both scoffing)
339
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,390
(knocking, classical music plays)
340
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,530
Ooh. That must be Adam.
341
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,350
'Sup, Punchy? 'Sup, Shmosby?!
342
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,950
You want to go? I'm alrey there!
343
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,360
Come on! This is it!
344
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:11,020
Dude, seriously, I'm sorry about your dad.
345
00:13:11,030 --> 00:13:12,900
Yeah, it was a real shock.
346
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:16,720
I can't believe you, of all people, are saying this.
347
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:17,690
Why?
348
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,750
No reason.
349
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,950
Robin, the point is, what are you doing?
350
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,520
I mean, this guy?
351
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,220
Okay, you want the truth?
352
00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:28,290
Yeah. I like Simon.
353
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:29,790
I do.
354
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,290
We have fun together.
355
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:34,050
Oh, we know you do, honey, but we're worried about you.
356
00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:35,220
You're worried?
357
00:13:35,230 --> 00:13:36,520
Okay, hold on.
358
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,320
Is there any version of this conversation
359
00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:40,550
where you guys don't sound like my parents?
360
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,520
I don't know. Is there any version
361
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,590
where you don't sound like a 16-year-old?
362
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,650
That's exactly what my mom would say.
363
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,020
No. If I was your mom, I woulsay,
364
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,050
"We forbid you from seeing this boy."
365
00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:53,290
(scoffs) Lily!
366
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,390
No, I'm sorry, but it's for your own good.
367
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,590
(teary): This is my life!
368
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,120
You guys just don't get it!
369
00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,920
You've never felt the way that I feel!
370
00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:02,450
Now, now. We were once young and in love, too.
371
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:05,590
Yeah, like, a billion years ago.
372
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,250
You've been drinking, haven't you?
373
00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:09,420
Yeah, we all have.
374
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:10,590
You bought the last round.
375
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,090
You're not going to that show tonight!
376
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,920
Oh, yes, I am, and you know what else?
377
00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:16,450
Tonight, after the show,
378
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:18,090
Simon and I are going all the way!
379
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,250
(all gasping)
380
00:14:19,260 --> 00:14:20,920
Young lady, get back here!
381
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:23,230
(teary): Thanks for your help.
382
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,020
Hey, so, today at work...
383
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:28,960
Not now, Ted!
384
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:32,750
Geez.
385
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,090
Ooh!
386
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,520
Oh, hey, Simon.
387
00:14:35,530 --> 00:14:36,790
Great show.
388
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,450
You guys still rock.
389
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,950
Yeah.
390
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,850
They totally dug my bass solo.
391
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:43,600
Man!
392
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,150
Why can't I always feel this alive?!
393
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:51,450
God, I just love seeing you so happy.
394
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:52,750
Yeah. (laughs)
395
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,020
About that.
396
00:14:54,030 --> 00:14:55,760
Listen, babe.
397
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,050
It's over. What?
398
00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:01,290
I'm getting back together with Louise Marsh.
399
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,290
(laughing): What?
400
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,930
You're kidding me.
401
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:07,730
You're breaking up with me?
402
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,750
Again?
403
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,150
F-For the same ex-girlfriend?
404
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,350
In the same van?
405
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,390
What is it?
406
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,650
Her-Her parents got a pool?
407
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:16,220
Is that still the reason?
408
00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:18,800
Well...
409
00:15:25,260 --> 00:15:26,450
I'm sorry, Robin.
410
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:27,650
I'm fine, really.
411
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,750
Oh, Robin, I'm gonna tell you for real.
412
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,120
Simon's a dawg.
413
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,450
You feel me, Chelle?
414
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:34,050
Mm-hmm, for reals.
415
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:35,650
He a scrub.
416
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,020
Mm. True dat.
417
00:15:37,030 --> 00:15:39,900
I'ma get me my champagne and grape soda on.
418
00:15:40,630 --> 00:15:43,120
So, how's Columbia?
419
00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:44,390
Great!
420
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,190
I'm almost done with my disstation.
421
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,250
Hmm. I'm getting a PhD in behavioral psychology.
422
00:15:49,260 --> 00:15:51,120
Um, can I make an observation?
423
00:15:51,130 --> 00:15:52,450
Oh.
424
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:53,650
I know.
425
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,090
Whenever I'm around Lily,
426
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,920
she just brings out that side of me.
427
00:15:56,930 --> 00:15:58,750
There's a psychological term for the phenomenon.
428
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,620
Revertigo? No.
429
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:02,420
Actually, it's associative regression. You see,
430
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:03,620
the neural pathways that...
431
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,520
*
432
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,450
Oh, no, you did not just
433
00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,650
put on my jam!
434
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:11,520
Oh. Put your hands up, girl!
435
00:16:11,530 --> 00:16:13,760
Holla! Holla!
436
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,930
NARRATOR: One by one, we all had to go home.
437
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,230
Soon, it was just Robin.
438
00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:31,450
BARNEY: All right.
439
00:16:31,460 --> 00:16:32,990
I can't find your video.
440
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,650
I've wasted three days tr...
441
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:36,990
*
442
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,990
What's the matter?
443
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,850
*
444
00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:43,820
Uh... Simon dumped me
445
00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:46,490
in his van after the show.
446
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,650
Yeah, Robin, that was, like, ten years ago.
447
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,420
No, tonight.
448
00:16:51,430 --> 00:16:52,520
Ooh.
449
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:53,650
(laughing): Really?
450
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:58,820
Oh! Oh, come here.
451
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:00,190
(sobbing) Come here.
452
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,620
*
453
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:04,890
It's just...
454
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:08,620
when I was young, I was so...
455
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:11,550
vulnerable and-and open to things, you know?
456
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:18,090
And... I guess I just... I wanted to feel that way again.
457
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,220
I wanted to be 16 again.
458
00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:23,220
Robin, that is the stupidest thing
459
00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:25,790
I've ever heard come out of your mouth.
460
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,750
You want to be 16 again?
461
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,550
I have watched your first
462
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,720
Robin Sparkles video 1,000 times,
463
00:17:32,730 --> 00:17:35,550
and it's not because I'm proud of you as a friend.
464
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,150
It's because you were totally, totally lame back then.
465
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,150
But now, come on. Pa-cow!
466
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,650
You're the most awesome person I have ever known.
467
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:46,690
Well, second most awesome.
468
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,490
Right. Of course, the-the first being you.
469
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,890
No.
470
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,650
No. The first is this guy
471
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,950
who lives in a place called the mirror.
472
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,890
(laughs) What up.
473
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,320
Oh.
474
00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:58,720
I'm saying
475
00:17:58,730 --> 00:18:02,820
that you are way more awesome than Simon ever will be.
476
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:06,390
*
477
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,550
Barney, do you want to come back to my place?
478
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,220
Your place?
479
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:16,960
*
480
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,990
Are you sure you want to do this?
481
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,090
Yeah. I am.
482
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,620
Let's just not tell anyone about this, okay?
483
00:18:26,630 --> 00:18:27,960
Of course.
484
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,690
So, should I just put it in?
485
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,730
Yeah, why not?
486
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:43,560
(sighs)
487
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:48,350
(instrumental intro to pop ballad plays)
488
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:52,650
* Met you at the mall...
489
00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:55,290
This was my big artistic follow-up
490
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,120
to"Let's Go to the Mall."
491
00:18:57,130 --> 00:19:00,190
It kind of tanked.
492
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:04,120
♪ My friends said I was a fool
493
00:19:04,130 --> 00:19:05,520
You're a fool. Shut up!
494
00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,690
Is that Tiffany? Mm-hmm.
495
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:10,790
♪ 'Cause you were older and got kicked out of school ♪
496
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,450
You are so rad.
497
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:17,790
* Together we we gonna travel the globe *
498
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:23,220
* From Alberta to Ontario
499
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,590
It's everything I want it to be and more.
500
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,520
Oh, I'm so glad. Mm-hmm.
501
00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:30,120
♪ And now I'm building sandcastles in the sand ♪
502
00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:33,390
* Sandcastles in the sand *
503
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,350
* Thought I could fly when you held my hand *
504
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,550
♪ Thought I could fly ♪
505
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,190
But now...
506
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,920
* Eternity returns to black and white... *
507
00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:45,650
Is that Alan Thicke?
508
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:47,350
Yeah.
509
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,990
* It was the greatest week and a half *
510
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,150
♪ Of my life
511
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,050
♪ We used to go to the beach
512
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,750
You know, if you reedit it,
513
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,720
there's a tampon commercial in here somewhere.
514
00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:04,190
* On our favorite bench
515
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:11,120
* We'd sit and talk and you taught me to french *
516
00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:12,820
* You're good at...
517
00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:15,220
Do you seem how lame you were back then?
518
00:20:15,230 --> 00:20:17,250
Yeah, you're right. I was lame.
519
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:19,090
Totally lame. Ugh.
520
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,350
* ...so unfair...
521
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:23,520
ROBOT: You don't understand about love.
522
00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:25,920
And, of course, the robot makes an appearance
523
00:20:25,930 --> 00:20:27,720
in the sad love ballad.
524
00:20:27,730 --> 00:20:30,220
He was my sidekick. He had to be.
525
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,620
NARRATOR: And so they watched it again.
526
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:34,590
* Come back, please
527
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,550
* I've changed my mind
528
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:41,450
* Let's go all the way
529
00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:42,390
I love you.
530
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,500
Let's do it.
531
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,290
I miss you.
532
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:50,590
NARRATOR: And again.
533
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,450
* Sandcastles may be cute
534
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:54,820
I'm on the pill now.
535
00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:56,450
NARRATOR: And again.
536
00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:59,920
* But now all they do is remind me of you... *
537
00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:02,290
They watched it over and over that night until finally,
538
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:04,530
they stopped watching.