So, Miles, tell me.
- I just did. - In words I like better.
When your husband died, he left you with a financial
disaster. The whole business is in the can.
Could you say that nicer?
You're broke and in debt $200,000.
- Any nicer? - Ceil, do you want me to sugarcoat this?
No, of course not. Maybe. Let me hear it that way.
No, I want the truth. I've raised the kids that way
and that's how I've lived my life, and that's how I'm gonna face this... head-on.
The truth.
Your husband died.
Ok, good, this I know. So far we're good.
- He left you this business. - Ok, this is good. Keep going.
- He owed some people some... - Let me stop you right there.
- Ceil, I... - Ok, I'll think of something.
I always do. I have to think of the kids.
I have to think of them. Can I get you a bottle of scotch?
Oh, did I tell you
about Jimmy? Jimmy's got a new job.
He's in PR.
♪
ID.
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
It says you're born in 1978? Why don't you look 78?
- Oh, I... What? - Have a good night.
- Thanks. - _
- * That's what I like * - Hey! Hey, my wallet!
_
Mm. Ah, and Sandy,
- my wonderful daughter Sandy. - Yeah, you talked about her.
Gosh, she's had a hard time, though, Miles.
Honestly. Her husband left her, and she didn't know what to do.
But now she's on the upswing.
She's starting the Bible
now, which has been really good for her, because it's toned down her...
all her addictions. I don't want to speak of those, though.
You know...
cocaine, pills.
I got it as a book on tape.
It's Leviticus read by Danny Glover.
I love it.
He really brings it to life.
I mean, if we could all find the peace in our heart...
Ugh.
What the freak?
Sir, hi.
I'm sure we can work this out in a mutually acceptable way.
You see, I was clearly indicating...
Get out of the way, bitch.
_
♪ Hey now I'm done and that's all right ♪
- Thank you. - (tires screeching)
Then there's my daughter Jenna.
She leads a glamorous life.
- Ah-choo! - Oh!
Jenna has an apartment downtown,
a lovely roommate.
She calls her Naked Shirl.
- Whoa, Shirl, clothes. - The light was off.
- Who's gonna see? - Ok, look, whatever.
Could you just at least put some pants on?
That's my grandmother's couch.
I put down a... doily.
- Oh, God. - I'm so proud of her.
She's a big-time lawyer.
She's got a big success with that.
Mm.
Jenna.
- Yes, Charisse? - Get these files.
_
Oh, do you have the file from the Minden Corporation lawsuit?
- Uh... - Uh...
Oh, how many times do I have to tell you things,
- Jenna? - I'm sorry, Charisse.
I remember now. I'll find them for you.
Oh, hi, Daniel. I wanted to talk to you. How is Susan?
Are you ok?
- No. - Can...
No, no. I'm fine. I got it.
You hear how many hours
Catherine Freeson logged last week? A hundred and sixty-seven.
She took an hour off for a root canal.
Ok, so it's ridiculously long hours and...
I want it in English.
Bad treatment. But look at Catherine.
She worked her way up to senior associate, right?
- Where is she, by the way? - She started hallucinating
in the lunchroom. Charisse had her fired.
Oh, that's awful. So there's an opening?
- I didn't just say that, did I? - If you hadn't, I would have.
Oh, Miles, I love my family more than anything.
That's why I can't do this to them.
I won't let them suffer.
I'm a bull in a candy store when it comes to my kids.
Let yourself out, Miles.
My kids mean everything to me. I'll protect them.
I mean, I've been through way worse than this.
What's the big deal? Two hundred thousand dollars.
Who doesn't have an extra $200,000?
Ceil doesn't, that's who.
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ Come on, come on, I like it like that ♪
- This is for my kids. - * Come on, come on *
- * I like it like that * - What am I thinking?
- I'm not gonna kill myself. - * I said *
- _ - Whoa!
_
Am I dead?
I think I'm dead.
Wait a minute. Do you smell cheese dogs in heaven?
- (sniffing) Yummy. - _
♪ The odds are that we will probably be all right ♪
♪ Odds are we're gonna be all right ♪
♪ Odds are we're gonna be all right for another night ♪
- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
- Oh, there you are, Jenna. - Hey.
- Hey, baby. It's terrible. - What happened?
- Honey, I think she tried to off herself. - What?
Doctor? Doctor.
Is she gonna live? Break it to us.
We can take it. Ah, I think I just peed my pants.
Some of us can take it better than others.
And that was a nurse. Oh, God.
I would say look who the cat dragged in,
but then it would make me hate cats.
Fair enough. I thought we should hug.
No, we're not gonna hug, Jimmy. Try paying Mom back
the 12 grand that you stole from her, and then we'll hug.
Guys, it's me, it's Jimmy. We used to be so close.
Jenna, who beat up those kids who were trying to steal your lunch money?
You beat up the wrong kids.
It was the thought. And, Sandy, who sat with you
that time you ate four pot brownies and you thought you were two people?
Those were good times.
Right? I love you guys.
I'm different. Ok?
- I don't believe you. - Ok, no. No fighting.
The neighbor said Mommy jumped off the roof, and we can't all just freak out.
Doctor! Oh, that's a repairman.
- Ok, you're fine. Is she gonna be ok? - We don't know anything yet.
I mean, I hope so. I'm not ready for Mom
to fall off of her perch just yet,
especially after we... I mean,
just lost, you know... Dad?
Did you just forget his name when you were in jail for embezzling from our parents?
- Mm, this feel good. - They're gesturing for us to go in.
Let's get some answers from that crazy bitch.
You're all here.
Oh, we're all here. You jumped off the roof?
- I didn't jump; I fell. - What the hell were you doing on the roof?
Well, I was just, um, gonna kill myself.
By jumping off the roof of our one-story house?
Seriously, what the hell?
Well, I was gonna do it for all of you.
- For the insurance money. - Mom! We don't need insurance money.
Oh... my sweet baby boy.
Well, I see the fall didn't affect that part of her brain
that favors our screw-up brother. I'm here too, Mother.
- Sandy? - Yeah.
Mom, seriously, why'd you do this?
And don't give us this insurance money BS.
- We don't need the money. - You know what I need?
I need to pop down the hall and help
myself to something from the pill closet. This stress is making me relapse-y.
- Don't you go anywhere. - Don't tell me what to do.
The only one I listen to to help me make my decisions is Jesus.
- Oh, for... what? - I got the book on tape in the car.
- Sandy's improving herself. - Cool.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
Ah, ah, don't ruin it. I haven't gotten to that part.
Wait, is that the Bible, or Star Wars?
- That was Yodel. - Yoda, Mom.
Star Wars. That's Judas the Hut.
Ok, everybody stop talking. I have to get back to work, if I haven't been fired.
No, honey, don't go. I need to tell you all
something. Jimmy, crank me up.
Ok, ok, Jimmy, the diaphragm.
Jimmy, down, down, down, down.
That's good, that's good.
Ok. Your father left us all something.
Aw, what?
Two hundred thousand dollars in debt.
- Oh! - Ok.
Visualize love and light. I gotta smudge.
- Sandy, pull it together. We are gonna be fine. - We are?
- We're gonna be ok. Absolutely. - Ok, good!
- Ok. - How about an ice chip, honey?
Totally fine.
Dad had a lot of business, and a lot of these cases are still ongoing.
And pro bono.
- Bono. - It means no money, Jimmy.
- That's not as funny. - Hello? I called.
- Oh. - Amber Brozzetti. Your dad was
my lawyer. I'm so sorry for your loss.
- Thank you. - We all loved your dad in town.
He was, like, so good at doing law.
(packing tape making noise)
- Jimmy! - Sorry.
Anyway...
Ok. So, you are suing Susie's House of Hair
for negligence and damages incurred from the incident.
What incident?
I needed to get my hair straightened... for a wedding.
Bitch walks out in the middle of straightening my hair,
because she needed to give birth.
Ok. Plaintiff, Amber Brozzetti. Defendant...
"that bitch." Ok, well, your deposition needs some work.
Are you sure you're a lawyer? You don't look old enough to be a lawyer.
I assure you, I am a lawyer. And I am old enough. Seriously.
Oh. I mean, it's hot.
- Not helping. - You should go see my friend, Japanese Sheila.
- She does hair straightening. - Jimmy, Japanese Sheila?
What? I know two Sheilas. One's Japanese, one's regular.
- Ok, regular Sheila? - Japanese Sheila's hotter.
We'll help you. Not to worry.
We will get you restitution for the incident.
Dough for the frizz.
I have to go put some money in the meter. Do you want to walk me to my car?
- Yep. - I don't think that's such a good idea.
- Why not? - Oh, great.
Hello, Charisse. Sorry.
I had to go to the hospital. My mom had an accident.
I'm so sorry. That's... that's terrible.
- She's still alive? - Yes, she is.
- Did she lose a leg? - No.
- An arm? - No.
So, you left the office during the middle of the day
for a non-life-threatening accident?
You need to get your flat ass back to the office
in one hour, or not only will you not be a senior associate, but I will fire you!
- Her life sucks. - I know, right?
It's sad.
Thank you!
So, you could either go to your baby shower,
or you could have a future as a potential senior associate.
Ok? So, um, you choose.
Do you offer that to everyone, Charisse?
Oh, I'm sorry. Were you speaking?
No? Was someone speaking? I guess not, because I could have sworn...
No, no, no one was speaking, Charisse.
- Victor, are we so under this woman's thumb... - Yes! I am.
I... I swear, I am.
Jenna, you clearly don't understand business.
I mean, I had to work my way up, right?
And as one of the partners of this company, I get to
use people like you how I need to.
If I need you to help me try a case, so be it. Or if I need you to...
to dance like a trained poodle.
Victor.
- Don't. - Come on out.
Ah.
I... I'd do more, but I don't know how they dance.
When does it end, Victor? With us dancing like monkeys
- for her amusement? - Monkeys! I can do monkeys!
Oh, ooh!
- Hello? - Jimmy. Do you remember
when I was running in that cross-country race at school?
You came to support me. I stopped midway,
I was out of breath and totally wearing the wrong bra.
- Yeah, is this going somewhere? - [I was dead last,]
but you said something to me that I will never forget.
You said, "Finish the race."
[Even if you're last, finish the race."]
And any time that I have wanted to back down from something,
- I remember that. - Ok, great.
- Honey, who is that? - Jenna. She's wearing the wrong bra.
What? Wait. Hey, Jenna,
- it's Mom. What's happening? - Mom, Dad always told me to
stand up for what I believe in. Do you think that that's true?
What does this have to do with bras?
All right, ok, you know, you have got to get it together.
Mom, you're right. I do.
I love you guys.
Hey. Hello?
♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪
You like that, Tim? Neither did I.
(Charisse talking indistinctly)
Jenna, this is a partners' meeting. If we wanted coffee
or Danish, we'd have asked for it.
Just one quick thing. Here are those pills
you asked me to pick up to treat that chlamydia problem.
But that's what happens when you sleep with a married client, Charisse.
- Take care. - You're fired.
Oh, seriously? If you couldn't tell that that was me quitting,
then you're an even worse lawyer than you are an illegal over-biller.
Yeah, check her billing statements.
You're welcome.
♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪
They're just vitamins.
♪ Oh oh oh oh oh
Ok.
That's... me, then.
- You sure you're leaving? - We've had such fun,
- but yes. - Before you go, I confess,
- I borrowed your sweater. - For what?
I ran out of doilies.
That is gonna look great on you.
Is this Maxine Vanderhees?
Look, I know in school we all used to call you
Maxi Pad Venereal Disease, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
That was wrong.
And it's wrong that... it still makes me laugh a little.
(snickering) I'm calling 'cause you're
on the list between George Gayhoffer and Jillian Dick.
Well, that's not very nice.
Look, Maxi Pad, I'm just trying to make amends, bitch.
Sandy. How good of you to be here.
I live here. And, Mother, spare me the thing
where you talk like someone's from Downtown Abbey, ok?
You jumped off the roof,
you landed on the barbecue, you sprained your foot.
Pbbth! You're home!
- Oh, my darling Matzu! - Yo, Mom, kiss that end.
Don't make the same mistake that I did.
- Oh, my baby. - Ok, so, if you're good,
- I think I'm gonna take off. - What do you mean, if she's good?
No, she's not good, and I'm not lifting her
into the frickin' bathtub and stuff.
You stole our parents' nest egg they've been saving all their lives,
and you're gonna stay and make good, douchebag.
That's what Jesus would say.
Maybe not in those words. Ok, everybody,
we are going on a fieldtrip.
That's not a question, people. Let's go.
Where does she get that bossiness from?
I was sitting here earlier and it occurred to me.
What would Dad want?
To still be alive.
Here's what's happening. I quit my job.
Oh, my God, no!
I am coming back here to run Daddy's law firm.
Oh, my God! Wonderful!
What are you on, woman? No, but seriously, like,
Ativan? Klonopin?
Valium. An oldie but a goodie.
So, I'm gonna keep the business going.
There's all these clients who need help,
and I can help them. And we can pay down the debt.
- Actually, this has always been a dream of mine. - Oh, honey,
you can't do it alone. We're here to help you.
- Ok, less of a dream. - If your daddy left us all
- the business, we'll all chip in and help. - Oh, really, no, it's fine.
Dream over. Nightmare.
You know what? Sandy can be the receptionist.
What? God. No.
What's wrong with me? I trained as a secretary when
I finished college and before I joined that cult.
- Was that the one with the haircut? - Yes.
- I can help. - Ok, no. No.
Why? I've had paralegal training. I remember
a thing or two, like when your father couldn't remember that case, and I'm like,
"Who doesn't remember Howard vs. Cornwall
Board of Education? Case law established by the precedent
set by Johnson vs. Premier Secondary School, in which search and seizure
in school with reasonable suspicion is allowed?"
Klonopin. Definitely Klonopin.
- I can work for you too. - Yeah, because she'll need someone
to steal all her money. Thank goodness you volunteered.
You gotta give me a chance. I'm sorry for all the things
that I did, but I never got to say sorry to Dad.
I can do investigations.
You know what, Jimmy?
Even though I didn't,
Dad did forgive you.
- And so did Mommy. - Ugh, there's a surprise.
You can make it up to me. You can make it up to Mom and Dad.
- (cell phones ringing) - And you can make it up
to whoever you stole those cell phones from.
- I will. - Mm-hmm.
Aw, look at this.
All my children together. Come here, come here, come here.
Look at all my beautiful children.
- Oh, my God. - It's a mother's dream to...
- Always with the too much, Mom. - Ok, you know what, fine.
I will just hobble over to the café next door,
and I will get myself a glass of wine. Never mind.
We can do this.
- We can work together and help each other. - Oh...
- Oh, Mom! - Somebody help me.
- All right, here we go. - Gotcha, gotcha.
- I'm ok. - Ok.
And here we go.
Ahhh. Law firm!
- I'll get the car. - Um, it's my car.
Do you think I'd look better with a cane? I could really make that look chic.
Mom, the doctor said you don't even need crutches.
But do I need a cane? And besides, I do need crutches,
- because I can barely move without them. - Oh, ok.
(car crash) Oh! Hey!
Sir! My daughter's a lawyer, best in North York.
I saw it. He hit you. Here you go.
- Oh, actually, I hit him. - Oh. Ok, same thing.
è Jenna! We have a client! è Oh, we have a client!
Um, can you come in tomorrow at nine?
No, that's too early for me to start.
How about 10?
In life, there's what you hope for, and what you get.
(sigh) I'm hoping this was a good idea.
Let's see what I get.
You and me, kid.
♪ Odds are we're gonna be all right tonight ♪
- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -