1 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:05,913 Should you really be sitting in Sheldon's spot? 2 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:07,882 He's in Texas. He'll never know. 3 00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:09,315 I wouldn't be so sure about that. 4 00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,353 Yeah, he has a very sensitive butt. 5 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,249 Well, it's true. 6 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:18,055 Once I saw him sit on a bunch of loose change and add it up. 7 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:21,588 Have you heard from Howard? 8 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,257 I did. His talk at NASA went great. 9 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:24,663 Sheldon didn't heckle him? 10 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,236 No, in fact, he was so well-behaved, 11 00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:29,431 Howie bought him a Buzz Aldrin bobble head and astronaut ice cream. 12 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,441 -Hey, guys. -Hi, Stewart. 13 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,943 -How's it going? -Good . 14 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:37,776 Sheldon's out of town, so we can do whatever we want. 15 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,849 We even ordered from the Thai place he doesn't like. 16 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,008 How is it? 17 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:42,710 Disgusting. Do not tell him. 18 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:45,450 What do you guys want to do tonight? 19 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:46,784 I don't know. 20 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,587 I told Howie if I wasn't busy, I'd spend the night at his mom's. 21 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,627 So for God's sake, think of something. 22 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,035 Stuart? Are you okay? 23 00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:58,794 No, I don't feel so... 24 00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,199 -Oh, Stuart? -Stuart? 25 00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:03,136 Oh, my God, you guys need to do something! 26 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,640 Calling 911. 27 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,472 -It's too late. -What do you mean it's too late? 28 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,478 He's been murdered by someone in this room. 29 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,879 I (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) 30 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,144 -Oh, my God. -Come on! 31 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:18,145 Welcome to another classic Koothrappali murder mystery dinner. 32 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,156 I'm leaving. 33 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:22,950 You can't leave. 34 00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:26,996 You're a suspect in the mysterious murder of Stuart Bloom. 35 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,724 I (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) 36 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,497 I didn't know his last name was Bloom. 37 00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:32,796 Yeah, it's Bloom. 38 00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,166 Are you really gonna lie on the floor 39 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,501 and pretend to be dead all night? 40 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,472 What do you think I was gonna do at home? 41 00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,147 I (THEME SONG PLAYS) 42 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,163 Are you gonna make us pretend to be a bunch of lame characters 43 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,830 with silly accents? 44 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:14,105 "Lame characters with silly ac...." What kind of actress are you? 45 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,215 You're right, I'm sorry. It sounds like fun. 46 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,684 -Thank you. -That kind of actress. This sucks! 47 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:27,047 Come on, guys. Raj put a lot of effort into this. 48 00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,888 And that's great. It's not sad, it's great. 49 00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:33,160 I think it might be fun to be someone else tonight. 50 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,890 Actually, you're all just gonna be yourselves. 51 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,659 Oh. Ecch! 52 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:41,300 All right, if I'm doing this, I'm playing to win. So just to be clear, 53 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,668 If we're ourselves, that means one of us killed Stuart? 54 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,676 Very good, Bernadette. You are a regular Byomkesh Bakshi. 55 00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,639 What is that, like, the Indian Sherlock Holmes? 56 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,978 Or is Sherlock Holmes the English Byomkesh Bakshi? 57 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,885 According to Wikipedia, Sherlock Holmes came first. 58 00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,991 Great, everyone's a Byomkesh Bakshi. 59 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:06,497 Now, here are some secret facts about each of you, 60 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:09,566 including whether you are the murderer. 61 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,031 Throughout the game, feel free 62 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,228 to ask each other questions to uncover clues. 63 00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,394 Got it. 64 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:16,234 Hey, who's the murderer? 65 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,239 Any question but that. 66 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,074 Sorry. 67 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,909 Hey, who's not the murderer? 68 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,547 Bernadette, can you not stand so close to me? 69 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:31,950 What do you care? You're dead. 70 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:35,457 Suit yourself. But I can kind of see up your skirt. 71 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,233 Thank you for my bobble head. 72 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,430 Thank you for not making fun of me during my speech. 73 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,735 It wasn't easy. Was it Buzz? 74 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:58,105 We can't show up to your mom's empty-handed. 75 00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,716 We should bring something. 76 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,649 I already am. I'm bringing the gift of knowledge. 77 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,311 Oh, boy. 78 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:08,820 Despite what her Bible says, recent archeological studies indicate 79 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,724 that although camels are referenced in the Old Testament, 80 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:15,162 they didn't exist in the Middle East until hundreds of years later. 81 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,765 I was gonna say we pick up a cake or a pie. 82 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,166 But an insult to her faith is always thoughtful. 83 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,103 So, what happens next? 84 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,338 I cant tell you that. But perhaps the killer dropped 85 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,347 a fun and imaginative clue somewhere in the apartment. 86 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,084 Ooh, I'm gonna check the fridge, 87 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,187 and see if there are any clues inside a beer. 88 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,919 Hey, I found something. 89 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,355 It locks like a little man with a briefcase. 90 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,358 Oh, no. That's Clarence Darrow. 91 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,361 It's from a game Sheldon made up called Chutes and Lawyers. 92 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,761 You slide down a chute and then work your way back up 93 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,631 through the appellate system. 94 00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:57,672 Well, unlike that, my games are much more fun. 95 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,311 Can I ask you something? Why do you like making us do this stuff? 96 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,509 Well, I guess it goes back to 97 00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:04,876 when I was a fat kid in India, and didn't have any friends. 98 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,381 I didn't know you were fat. 99 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:10,818 Yeah, I was 200 pounds by the time I was in middle school. 100 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,389 Kids were mean. Cows may be sacred there, 101 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,549 but it doesn't help if you look like one. 102 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,294 Anyway, I was pretty lonely, 103 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,522 so I had to make up my own stories and games, 104 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,826 and I promised myself if I ever made any friends 105 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,799 that I would play those games with them. 106 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,863 That is so sweet. 107 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,200 I've seen old pictures of you. 108 00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:31,637 You were never a fat kid. 109 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,709 No, I was svelte as a gazelle. 110 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:38,506 A gazelle blessed with a flair for storytelling. 111 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,518 I (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) 112 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,713 Hey, what about this? It locks like a receipt. 113 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,516 -What's it for? -For a cup of coffee. 114 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,523 But it's dated 20 years from now. 115 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:52,391 From the future? How fun and imaginative. 116 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:57,235 So one of us came back from the future to murder Stuart? 117 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,391 Correct. 118 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,435 Does the gazelle with a flair for storytelling 119 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,267 know he's ripping off Terminator? 120 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:05,433 Does the smart-ass know that Terminator was actually 121 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,101 ripped off from an Outer Limits script called 122 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,110 Demon With a Glass Hand, by Harlan Ellison? 123 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:12,216 Oh, does the gazelle know that according to Harlan Ellison, 124 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,750 it was not ripped off from Demon With a Glass Hand, 125 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,218 but was ripped off from another Outer Limits script 126 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,879 he wrote called The Soldier? 127 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,786 I'm gonna need another clue. 128 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:28,691 Okay, give me the flowers and pie. 129 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,425 But if we show up and you're holding them, 130 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,092 she'll think they're only from you. 131 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,465 They are only from me. 132 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:36,039 You said the gift of you was enough. 133 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,471 Yes, but now that I've seen what the gift of me 134 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:43,478 with flowers and pie looks like, there's no going back. 135 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,383 Boy, I can't wait to see the look on her face... 136 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,447 We're leaving right now. 137 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:51,816 -What's wrong? -Nothing. 138 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,480 Sheldon, tell me what's going on! 139 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,058 I saw my mommy with a naked man 140 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,058 and she was trying to be a mommy again. 141 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,434 You ready to talk about it? 142 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,505 I'm not nearly drunk enough. 143 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,508 Okay. 144 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,806 Do you have any idea what it's like to see 145 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,815 your mother ravaging someone? 146 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,611 Does a brisket count? 147 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,521 I'm sorry, buddy, that's rough. 148 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,026 But didn't she know we were coming? 149 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,926 No. I wanted to surprise her. 150 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,034 What am I supposed to say to her after something like this? 151 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,101 Well, did she see you in the window? 152 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,829 -No. -Then don't say anything. 153 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:43,935 I have to. 154 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,134 How can we ever hope to have a healthy relationship 155 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,972 if I don't tell her how disappointed I am, 156 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,670 and that I'll never forgive her? 157 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,484 Well, don't do it on the phone. 158 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,119 I'm just going to tell her I'm coming 159 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,846 so she can give that "Good Time Charlie" the heave-ho. 160 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,819 Thats some tough talk. I may need to cut you off. 161 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,390 Yeah, maybe you better. I took a pretty big sip. 162 00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,695 Look, she's a grown woman. 163 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:15,738 And... and your dad's been gone a long time. 164 00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:18,068 Maybe this is none of your business. 165 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,003 I beg to differ. 166 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,840 I used to live in those genitals. 167 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,874 And if someone wants to move into my old room, 168 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,712 I should at least get a vote. 169 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,519 Okay, murder suspects, 170 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,560 Leonard has found the time machine the killer must've used. 171 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:41,597 You're all inside it, and we hurtle through the very fabric of time. 172 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,530 I (SCI-FI LASER SOUNDS) 173 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,703 And welcome to 20 years in the future. 174 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,779 Hey, you guys just time-traveled. Stop looking so bored. 175 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,350 Well, my beer isn't flat and my rack's not saggy. 176 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,545 So far, the future's great. 177 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,756 Hey, can I go to the bathroom? 178 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:09,894 Fine, just try not to look too alive. 179 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,051 That's my jam. 180 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,134 So one of us went back in time to kill Stuart? 181 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,100 -But why? -Perhaps this will help. 182 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:24,538 Here are some facts about yourselves in the future 183 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:27,143 that might contain a clue. 184 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,638 Hey, I won the Nobel Prize in physiology. 185 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,444 Then I used the money to buy Stuart's comic book store, 186 00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:36,246 and close it down so Sheldon would pay attention to me. 187 00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,652 Not the worst idea. 188 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,896 Hey, I'm a famous actress living in London. 189 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,793 I'm a professor at Stanford. 190 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:50,059 So I guess you two are making it work long distance. 191 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,965 Oh, ho. In this game, as your careers both took off, 192 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,766 you drifted apart. Kind of like how future me 193 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,670 lost touch with you guys after I became boy toy 194 00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:00,471 for the wrinkled, but still flexible, Madonna. 195 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,448 What does your card say, Bernadette? 196 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,142 Hang on. Do you think we'd really drift apart 197 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,912 if we both became successful? 198 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,350 Of course not. 199 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,081 If I became a famous actress and had to move, 200 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,782 you would just come with me. 201 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,091 But if I get a chance to be a tenured professor, 202 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,697 I might not have that much choice in where I end up. 203 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,595 Yeah, but if I become a successful actress, 204 00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,257 we wouldn't need the money. 205 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,532 Well, you don't go into science for the money. 206 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:27,967 Speak for yourself. 207 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:32,201 Last month, my company both invented and cured Restless Eye Syndrome. 208 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,370 Ka-Ching, ya blinky chumps. 209 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,948 So, wait, if my career took me somewhere else, 210 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,178 you might not go? 211 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,188 I (VOCALIZES DRAMATIC MUSIC) 212 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,726 He started it. 213 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,694 Okay, guys, new back stories. 214 00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:55,196 Penny and Leonard, you two lovebirds 215 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,234 are super successful and living in New York. 216 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:01,736 You're an actress, you're a professor and you have three beautiful kids. 217 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:02,896 -Great. -Really? 218 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:05,042 You think I'm putting this body through three kids? 219 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,904 Okay, let's do this. 220 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,070 Good luck. 221 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,547 You... Aren't you gonna come with me? 222 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,879 While you confront your mother about her sex life? 223 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:19,387 I'd rather go back to that bar in ass-less chaps. 224 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,899 Mother? Mother? 225 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,931 Mother. 226 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,869 Shelly! I'm so glad you're here! 227 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,767 I saw you having naked sex. 228 00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:39,209 What are you talking about? 229 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,538 Earlier, I came here to surprise you. 230 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,409 I looked in the window and I saw you with a man. 231 00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:48,883 Oh, Shelly, I'm so sorry. Come in. 232 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:52,955 Um... 233 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,888 Maybe we should sit down and talk about this. 234 00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:00,757 Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on? 235 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,228 That's not funny. 236 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,304 Maybe we should sit at the table. 237 00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:24,380 Well, I'm sure that you have a lot of questions. 238 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:26,817 Who was he? 239 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:30,257 His name is Ron. I met him at my prayer group. 240 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,120 How long have you been involved with him? 241 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,822 A few months. 242 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,626 And of those few months, 243 00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:39,770 how long have you been a demented sex pervert? 244 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,434 That is no way to speak to your mother. 245 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,008 Perhaps not. 246 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,510 But it is a way to speak to a woman who quoted the Bible 247 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,671 to me my whole life, and then desecrates 248 00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:53,681 one of Ethan Allen's finest sofas. 249 00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:58,486 I will give you one opportunity, young man, to apologize. 250 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,625 -Or what? -Or I will send you to your room. 251 00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:05,523 That's ridiculous. I am a grown man. 252 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,528 I am a professional scientist. 253 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,826 And I currently occupy the moral high ground. 254 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:11,525 Go to your room. 255 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,530 But I occupy the moral high ground. 256 00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,635 Go to your room. 257 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,511 But I'm a professional scientist. 258 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,443 Go to your room! 259 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,018 I'm a grown man. 260 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,616 Can we please get back to the game? 261 00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:37,227 In a minute. I don't understand why any success 262 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:40,887 you have in acting is more important than any I have in science. 263 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,863 Okay, if you do something cool in science, 264 00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:44,228 you might change the world. 265 00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:47,860 If I become a famous actress... 266 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,633 I'm not gonna tell you why movie stars are the best. They just are. 267 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,875 I'm surprised you guys never talked about this stuff. 268 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,071 Like you and Sheldon have everything figured out? 269 00:13:57,236 --> 00:14:00,649 Actually, our relationship agreement covers a wide array of scenarios, 270 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:03,481 including career changes, financial instability, 271 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,589 intelligent dog uprising. 272 00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:10,420 FYI, we plan on selling out the human race hard. 273 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,523 In 20 years, who knows what'll happen with any of us? 274 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,169 I think you and Leonard will be together. 275 00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:20,770 -You do? -Yeah. 276 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,702 I think you're the best couple I know. 277 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,034 That's so sweet. 278 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,574 -What the hell? -Excuse me? 279 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,439 Duh, duh, duh... Let the dead man talk. 280 00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,111 So, why do you think that? 281 00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:36,879 Well, I feel like you guys make each other better. 282 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,250 Penny brought Leonard out of his shell. 283 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:42,052 And it seems like Leonard makes Penny think more deeply about the world. 284 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:46,595 I don't know. Together, you two kind of make one awesome person. 285 00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,291 Aw, Stuart. 286 00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,059 Now I feel bad for murdering you. 287 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,226 Oh, come on! 288 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:57,433 Penny did it! I win! Suck it, jackasses! 289 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,640 Hey, can I come in? 290 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,813 Apparently any man is welcome in this house. 291 00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,579 Why not you? 292 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,320 I thought you were waiting in the car. 293 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,959 That was an hour ago, Sheldon. 294 00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,322 A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas that long, 295 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,157 "For Sale" signs start to go up. 296 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:27,000 I take it things didn't go smoothly with your mom. 297 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,067 No. 298 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,673 I'm not sure how we're going to get past this. 299 00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:38,471 You know, I sort of went through something like this myself. 300 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,845 Howard, we've all seen your mother naked. 301 00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:45,344 That woman needs to learn how to tie a robe. 302 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,256 I'm talking about when my mom started seeing someone 303 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,486 a couple years after my dad left. 304 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:53,990 I didn't know she did. 305 00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:57,828 Yeah, she was dating this guy, 306 00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:01,597 and I was kind of a jerk to her about it. 307 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,335 What did you do? 308 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,366 Let's just say it was the most vicious 309 00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,671 bar mitzvah speech in the history of Temple Beth EI. 310 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,313 Anyway, she broke up with him. 311 00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:17,650 And she's basically been alone ever since. 312 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:24,019 She never said it, but I always felt I was the reason why. 313 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,996 I'm sorry. 314 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,723 Although, based on your story, 315 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,799 you absolutely were the reason why. 316 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,130 All I'm saying is you might not want 317 00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:38,332 to get in the way of your mom's happiness. 318 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,501 You may have a point. 319 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,313 I love my mother. 320 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,915 Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel. 321 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,317 And the healing begins. 322 00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,530 -Hello. -Hello. 323 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,532 Are you ready to discuss this calmly, like adults? 324 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,403 I am. 325 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,748 Shelly, I'm sorry that you saw what you saw. 326 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,117 I know that this is hard for you. 327 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,292 I think what most upsets me about it, Mother, is the hypocrisy. 328 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,225 Doesn't this contradict 329 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,797 all the religious rules you've been espousing your whole life? 330 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,729 You're right, it does, and it's something 331 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,960 that I'm struggling with these days. 332 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,627 Then why are you doing it? 333 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,637 Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. 334 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,538 And that man's booty ls. 335 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,980 Well, this is confusing for me. 336 00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,122 But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. 337 00:17:58,544 --> 00:17:59,249 So... 338 00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:02,782 I'll condemn you internally while maintaining 339 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,656 an outward appearance of acceptance. 340 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,433 That is very Christian of you. 341 00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:15,330 Mother, if you're going to conduct your life in this fashion, 342 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,338 then I should let you know that the world has changed 343 00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:20,067 since you were a young woman. 344 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:24,179 You know, it's not all sock hops, soda jerks and segregation anymore. 345 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,781 How old do you think I am? 346 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:32,448 My point is that you're going to need to be careful. 347 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:37,121 You used to be protected by your pre-Enlightenment mythology, 348 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,695 but now you're going to need a stronger friend 349 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,331 named latex. 350 00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:46,629 Are you having the sex talk with me? 351 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,837 Well, someone has to. 352 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,997 Oh, dear Lord! 353 00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:53,803 No, don't look to Him. He's mad at you right now. 354 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,352 Come on, don't pout. I'm sorry I ruined your game. 355 00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:05,386 I'm not pouting, I'm brooding. 356 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,852 Which is how sexy men pout. 357 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,021 It actually was kind of fun. 358 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:13,629 You're just saying that. 359 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:16,065 Yeah. 360 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,969 I liked the time travel element. 361 00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,662 Thank you. I thought it was inspired. 362 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,670 It was. By Terminator. 363 00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,643 Well, I hope 20 years from now, we really are all still together 364 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:28,904 and still friends. 365 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,240 -Definitely. -Of course. 366 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,711 Hey, how about this? 367 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,873 Whether we're friends, not friends, 368 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,917 scattered around the world, no matter what, 369 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,850 let's all promise to meet in front of this building 370 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,217 exactly 20 years from tonight at 8:00 p.m. 371 00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:41,915 And have dinner like we always do. 372 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,685 Aw, I love it. 373 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,421 Putting it in my phone right now. 374 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:47,063 Yeah, me, too. 375 00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,994 My phone doesn't have a calendar. 376 00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,429 It's all right, I'll just write it on my hand. 377 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,776 And it's done. 378 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,105 Yup, we're all in. 379 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,748 All right, I'll see you guys in 20 years. 380 00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:13,922 I knew it.