Hyah!
Oh, thanks.
Cheesy dashboard hula dolls and dirty blankets are
hot ticket items.
eh, what's up, doc?
Yard sale. I need money to buy Tina's birthday present,
you know, something special like a string of pearls or
a mariachi uniform.
Maybe. Those uniforms are like wearable gold.
So you're selling my stuff?
You know that everything I own comes from the generosity
of friends, which I then break and turn into garbage.
Hello, shiny.
What are you worth?
Why, nothing.
It's a worthless trinket.
You're lying, and you're using a new soap that
smells like sunshine.
Oh, thanks. It's a body wash, but you're right, and it's time you knew the truth.
I knew it was time I knew the truth.
I'm not the bunny you think I am.
My name isn't really bugs.
It's Kal-El.
I was born long ago on the planet Krypton.
Hold on a sec! Krypton?
Oh, no, you don't.
That's superman's home planet.
I fell for that once, but I'm way too smart to fall
for it again.
I meant crypton with a "c," not a "k."- Oh, crypton with a "c."
Ok. I buy it. Continue.
It was a simpler, more dangerous time.
I lived in the city of Metropolis, the very
definition of a city and a primary target for every
supervillain with an evil scheme.
Luckily, I was the greatest superhero
earth had ever known.
I was superrabbit.
Say, "ahh," you mechanical maroon!
Huh?
Ha ha ha!
Poor, deluded superrabbit, your might is no match
for my mind.
I'm turning Metropolis into tiny miniopolis,
and you will be its star attraction,
that is as soon as I find you.
Whoa!
Eh, maybe you should change your name to lame brainiac.- You're making me very angry, very angry indeed.
Don't forget. I'm not just superstrong.
I'm also superagile...
And superphotogenic.
Oh, goodie! I got him, I got him, I got him!
Eh... Got who, genius?
Yuck!
What is it with you and this shrinking stuff anyway?
I'd explain, but I highly doubt a pea brain like yours
would understand.
Oh, it's a brain size thing.
Let's see.
I will make you suffer
for all eternity.
Hee hee hee! Sorry.
I can't take you seriously with that voice.
You pushed the wrong button.
Give me the Cannon. Let me do it.
Yeah, right. The "s" on my chest doesn't stand
for "simpleton."
Oh, look. I'm a regular Pablo Picasso.
I loved everything about being a hero--the powers,
the action, the attention, the costume, but I loved
the people most of all, and the people loved me back.
Sorry I cwashed your wittle party, superwabbit.
Lex Luthor, it's never a pleasure, -try to keep up.
Shh. Be very, very quiet.
I'm hunting superwabbit.
Ah ah ah!
Oh, Mr. superwabbit, come out, come out wherever you are.
♪ Yoo-hoo ♪
Huh?
Are you almost finished?
Ooh! Scwewy wabbit!
Ooh! I wonder if I could hit that cloud shaped
like a fishy.
Home run!
Superrabbit wins!
Congwatulations, show boat.
You just waunched an unstable nucwear acclewator into space.
And that was my big mistake.
Why? Was the war suit a rental?
No. The phantom zone was orbiting earth,
and general Zod was waiting for a chance to escape,
and I gave it to him.
Oh, no! Not him! Not general Zod!
Who's general Zod?
This might be a good time for a strategicallyplaced flashback.
Many years ago back on crypton, my father put
general Zod and his minions on trial.
Counselors of crypton, 3 criminals stand before us
for judgment--thunkian, a relentless fighting machine
with the intellect and personality of a lost sock;
faora a bitter she-bully, punishing the universe for her
dysfunctional romance with insensitive boyfriend
general Zod;
and general Zod himself, the would-be tyrant, blindly
obsessed with making others submit.
As the evidence will show, these 3 have repeatedly--
- guilty. - Guilty. - Guilty!
Oh, come on! You guys do that every time, every time!
As you know, Jor-El, the verdict must be unanimous.
You alone will condemn us, and you alone will suffer
my wrath if you do.
General Zod, I banish you and your cohorts
now and forever.
You will kneel before me, Jor-El, you and anyone who
wears that silly "s" on their chest.
That's it? A threat?
Not a threat, my darling, a vow.
Great. Problem solved then.
Jor-elllll!
So you understand who general Zod is now?
Yep. He's a smart, handsome, charming, rich go-getter.
No.
Agree to disagree.
Anyway, back to the story.
Main reactor breached.
Thermal detonation imminent.
Detonation in 10 seconds.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6...
General, look!
Yes, my darling, I see it,
heading straight for us
and counting down as if it were going to...
Explode!
The yellow sun gives cryptonians great power, power
that we will use to wreak vengeance on Kal-El,
or superrabbit, as he is known on earth.
Doesn't he have the same power?
Yes, but we are 3, and he is 1.
We will crush him, and then he will kneel, kneel before Zod.
How about we skip the kneeling and just get rid
of superrabbit so we can take over the planet
with minimal resistance?
Skip the kneeling?
Why, kneeling is the most important part.
Come, my witless monkeys.
It's war time!
People of Metropolis, superrabbit has your back.
No harm will come to you on my watch.
That's a promise.
But will you keep that promise?
General Zod?
I'm not here to fight you, Kal-El.
I'm here to watch you surrender.
You're gonna have to make me, and that's not going
to happen.
You're right. It's beneath me. I'll have my minions do it.
Say it.
I...Surrender.
Citizens of Metropolis, allow me to introduce you to
your new king, king Zod of earth!
- Huh? - What?
I was defeated for the first time in my life, so I sought
the guidance of the one person who could help me.
Justin Timberlake?
No. My father.
Father!
Right here, son.
Why are you shouting?
You'll never guess what happened.
You lost a fight.
Can you believe it?
Yes, because you had it coming.
What? How can you say that?
You've lost your way, son.
You've become a superspectacle.
This was your idea.
"Wear a costume," you said.
"Be a symbol," you said.
A symbol of hope, not of excess.
Showing off is a poor use of power.
Heroism is about helping others, not parades
or grandstanding.
But I keep Metropolis safe.
Has it ever occurred to you that you're the reason
Metropolis has the highest rate of supervillainy
in the world?
You're a magnet for evil,
and now you've attracted the most
dangerous threat of all--Zod.
I know I can beat him.
Not with faora and that robot at his side.
They're too strong for you alone.
The only way to win is to use your head.
Find their weaknesses, son.
Make them your strengths and be a true hero once again.
Thanks, pop.
♪ All fear our dreadful king ♪
♪ Beware our wicked king ♪
♪ All fear king Zod ♪
♪ We writhe in agony ♪
♪ While he lives happily ♪
♪ We beg him for mercy ♪
♪ All fear king Zod ♪
No. Too joyful.
Go back to the slave pits and write me another.
Are you sure you need an anthem?
Of course. It's basic conquest etiquette,
my darling.
What's next?
There's a reporter here for an interview.
I can toss him out a window.
No. Send him in.
The earthlings must get to know their new master.
Hello. I'm Clark Kent from the "daily planet."
If you don't mind, I just have a few questions.
We'll be done in a jiff.
You may ask your questions, word peddler.
Oh. You're too kind.
Faora, now why do you stay in a relationship with Zod when
he ignores everything you say, want, and need?
And, thunkian, do you mind being treated like a child
because you don't talk?
And, king Zod, is all the dominant bluster just a way
of dealing with your insecurities?
And finally, if the 3 of you have nothing in common, why
are you together?
- What? - Huh?
Destroy this insolent worm!
Before you do that, you should know that I'm
not just a reporter.
I'm also a guy who doesn't like out-of-townersmessing up my city.
After him!
You can do better than Zod, you know?
I bet a lot of guys would be interested in a hot
super she-predator like yourself.
You, uh, you think I'm hot?
Heck, yeah!
Heh.
Mmm.
But I already got a girlfriend.
- You're not a child. - Huh?
You're a full-grown robot, and you deserve to be
treated like one.
Hmm.
Hup!
At ease, soldier.
The statue's a bit much, isn't it?
You!
You will grovel before me.
Is this about your height?
You're not that short.
Eh, I guess next to your friends
you are pretty shrimpy.
Thunkian, close superrabbit's mouth permanently.
What?! Faora, make superrabbit beg for mercy now!
I'm your girlfriend, Zod.
I don't take orders from you.
Fine. You and I are finished.
Now you will crush superrabbit.
You're right about one of those things.
Well, your worshipfulness, it looks like it's
just you and me.
Down the rabbit hole.
How predictable.
Ha ha!
Whoa!
Hey, Zod. Kneel before yourself.
Ooh. I'm going to hurt me.
I located a new phantom zone and stuck Zod, faora,
and thunkian inside it.
That was the last time I saw them.
That was also the last time I was superrabbit because I
learned that power corrupts unless it's
tempered by humility.
So you just gave it all up?
Yep.
Ha! You made up that whole story.
No one would ever walk away from all that power.Just for that, I'm selling your stuff and keeping
all the money.
You were gonna do that anyway.
I know.
Hey. Let's shave two seconds off our walk home by going
down this dark and desolate alley.
I'll take those pretty pearls.
Huh?
Huh? Ohh!
Who are you?
I'm batrabbit.
Oh, well, don't expect a tip.
I didn't ask to be saved.
Ain't I a stinker?