1 00:00:03,517 --> 00:00:04,740 Oh, come on, how long 2 00:00:04,781 --> 00:00:06,491 are you guys gonna stay mad at me? 3 00:00:07,483 --> 00:00:09,734 What, for getting us all arrested for smuggling 4 00:00:09,736 --> 00:00:12,119 - cocaine into Colombia? - Probably the rest 5 00:00:12,121 --> 00:00:14,405 - of our damn lives. - Well, shouldn't be 6 00:00:14,407 --> 00:00:17,158 very long, since we're headed to La Culebra, the most dangerous 7 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,160 prison in South America. 8 00:00:19,162 --> 00:00:21,162 Well, Cyril, when we get there and I join the 9 00:00:21,164 --> 00:00:23,631 toughest gang, don't hold your breath for a bid. 10 00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:26,033 - A bid? - They're prison gangs, 11 00:00:26,035 --> 00:00:28,052 - not frats! - And don't call a 12 00:00:28,054 --> 00:00:30,588 - fraternity a frat! - ¡Callate! 13 00:00:32,809 --> 00:00:35,593 No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. 14 00:00:35,595 --> 00:00:37,928 And don't worry about La Culebra, gringos. 15 00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:40,097 - You are not going there. - Oh, well, that's good. 16 00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,549 Is that good? It doesn't sound very good. 17 00:00:42,551 --> 00:00:44,568 Why does that sound really, really, really bad? 18 00:00:44,570 --> 00:00:46,720 Because they're gonna kill us. 19 00:00:46,722 --> 00:00:49,056 What?! 20 00:00:49,058 --> 00:00:53,194 Unless you got maybe $100,000 U.S. on you. 21 00:00:53,196 --> 00:00:55,913 Well, not on me, on me, but... 22 00:00:55,915 --> 00:00:57,915 Hey, but when we're 23 00:00:57,917 --> 00:00:59,917 digging out own graves, they're gonna get cocky, and then we 24 00:00:59,919 --> 00:01:01,869 whang 'em with our shovels, right? 25 00:01:01,871 --> 00:01:04,038 Cyril, this isn't an episode of B.J. and the Bear. 26 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,040 - That was? - It's the jungle-- 27 00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:08,709 nobody digs graves; they just kneel you down by a ditch and 28 00:01:08,711 --> 00:01:11,045 - put a bullet in your... - Cow! 29 00:01:11,047 --> 00:01:15,049 Why would they shoot your... cow! 30 00:01:33,369 --> 00:01:41,108 God... 31 00:01:53,923 --> 00:01:57,675 ...damn. 32 00:01:57,677 --> 00:02:02,980 Well, now I'm almost 33 00:02:02,982 --> 00:02:04,982 afraid to say any-- 34 00:02:04,984 --> 00:02:10,471 Eat a dick, jungle. 35 00:02:36,355 --> 00:02:46,415 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 36 00:02:48,032 --> 00:02:49,961 Easy, easy. Careful! 37 00:02:50,201 --> 00:02:52,397 Cyril, for the love of Christ, man! 38 00:02:52,517 --> 00:02:54,717 - Sorry. - You have to shut up. 39 00:02:54,719 --> 00:02:56,719 I am. Starting now. 40 00:02:56,721 --> 00:02:58,721 - Starting... now. - Cyril... 41 00:02:58,723 --> 00:03:00,723 Sorry. 42 00:03:00,725 --> 00:03:02,725 - What was that? - Probably a jaguar 43 00:03:02,727 --> 00:03:05,811 excited about being magnificent and crepuscular. 44 00:03:05,813 --> 00:03:09,398 But I need you to focus on me, because if, by some miracle, I 45 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,400 get the keys... 46 00:03:11,402 --> 00:03:15,237 ...and then, by some other even bigger miracle, get us out of 47 00:03:15,239 --> 00:03:17,790 these cuffs... 48 00:03:17,792 --> 00:03:20,492 I am gonna beat the shit out of you, Cyril! 49 00:03:20,494 --> 00:03:22,494 I'm gonna beat the shit of both of y'all. 50 00:03:22,496 --> 00:03:24,547 - Oh, my God, Ray! - You're alive?! 51 00:03:24,549 --> 00:03:26,549 What, did y'all think I was dead? 52 00:03:26,551 --> 00:03:28,551 - Well, I just assumed. - Yeah, I totally did. 53 00:03:28,553 --> 00:03:30,719 And you didn't even take a moment?! 54 00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:32,721 - I mean... - Oh, screw you guys! 55 00:03:32,723 --> 00:03:34,423 W-Wait. What is in your mouth? 56 00:03:34,425 --> 00:03:36,425 - Nothing. - It's the keys! 57 00:03:36,427 --> 00:03:38,427 - He's eating the keys? - Ray, don't you eat 58 00:03:38,429 --> 00:03:40,145 - those keys! - I'm not eating the 59 00:03:40,147 --> 00:03:41,647 - goddamn keys. - Waagh! 60 00:03:41,649 --> 00:03:43,349 - Ow! - What are you doing 61 00:03:43,351 --> 00:03:44,850 - down there? - What do you think 62 00:03:44,852 --> 00:03:46,551 I'm doing? 63 00:03:46,553 --> 00:03:48,720 - Oh. sorry. - Do me! Do me, do me, 64 00:03:48,722 --> 00:03:51,440 - do me, do me, do me! Ray, do me! - Ow! Ow! Ow! 65 00:03:51,442 --> 00:03:54,526 - Sorry. Do me, please. - First, promise you 66 00:03:54,528 --> 00:03:56,612 - won't be mad at me. - I... Wait. 67 00:03:56,614 --> 00:03:58,614 - Why would I be mad at you? - Because you're an 68 00:03:58,616 --> 00:04:01,584 - asshole! - I beg your pardon?! 69 00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:04,420 Since Cyril's not here, I'm helping Cherlene redline her 70 00:04:04,422 --> 00:04:06,589 record contract, and I think we should move on. 71 00:04:06,591 --> 00:04:08,674 They're not gonna let you kill a guy. 72 00:04:08,676 --> 00:04:10,676 - What about a dwarf? - What about Sterling?! 73 00:04:10,678 --> 00:04:12,678 Wait, he's a dwarf now? 74 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,214 He's missing! With God knows how much of our 75 00:04:15,216 --> 00:04:18,417 dwindling cocaine, and no one's doing anything to find him! 76 00:04:18,419 --> 00:04:21,086 If he calls here, my plan, in its entirety, is to ask 77 00:04:21,088 --> 00:04:23,088 - him where he is. - It has a simple 78 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,090 - elegance. - Well, have you tried 79 00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:26,558 calling him? 80 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:27,810 What? 81 00:04:27,812 --> 00:04:29,361 - Yaaaayyyyy! - Wooooooooo! 82 00:04:29,363 --> 00:04:31,530 The mailbox of... 83 00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,598 - ...Ar-Ar-Archer... - ...is full. 84 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,451 - Leave it. - All right! 85 00:04:35,453 --> 00:04:37,269 Turn it off! Turn it off! 86 00:04:37,271 --> 00:04:39,154 - I can't! It's... Ar-Ar-Archer. Archer. 87 00:04:39,156 --> 00:04:40,706 Rrgh! Rrgh! Rrgh! 88 00:04:40,708 --> 00:04:42,541 - Archer... Archer... - Aw. 89 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,710 Okay, so he forwards his phone here. 90 00:04:44,712 --> 00:04:46,829 That's easy. Then he taps the phone line into 91 00:04:46,831 --> 00:04:49,214 the intercom. They're both low-voltage. 92 00:04:49,216 --> 00:04:52,284 No big deal, but that's patched into the actual house wiring, 93 00:04:52,286 --> 00:04:55,638 obviously one-ten AC, which means he must have wired a 94 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,123 transformer in the circuit somewhere, but he's got all 95 00:04:58,125 --> 00:05:00,342 these fake wires in here that don't connect to any... 96 00:05:00,344 --> 00:05:03,095 Is this all just a 97 00:05:03,097 --> 00:05:07,349 game to you people?! My God, I'm broke, my husband 98 00:05:07,351 --> 00:05:10,653 kicked me out of my own home, we're running out of cocaine, 99 00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:13,739 and on top of all that, my son is missing! 100 00:05:13,741 --> 00:05:16,241 Um, okay, if Archer calls, I'll... 101 00:05:16,243 --> 00:05:18,577 No, please don't disturb me. 102 00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:21,080 I think I'm getting a migraine. 103 00:05:21,082 --> 00:05:23,415 Outlaw country! Wooooooooooooooo! 104 00:05:23,417 --> 00:05:27,086 I honestly don't know how much more I can take! 105 00:05:27,088 --> 00:05:30,489 Wow. I think she 106 00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:33,825 seriously might be, like, nearing the end of her rope. 107 00:05:33,827 --> 00:05:37,429 - Hey, speaking of rope... - You want cocaine? 108 00:05:37,431 --> 00:05:39,765 - Yay! - Goddamn it! 109 00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:42,267 How is this my fault? 110 00:05:42,269 --> 00:05:44,603 Because why do you always get paralyzed?! 111 00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,172 Because why do you always crash every goddamn 112 00:05:47,174 --> 00:05:49,508 - vehicle I get in?! - I didn't crash it! 113 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,810 That crooked idiot, drunk murdering cop did! 114 00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:54,279 Uh, yeah, speaking of, these guys don't look too 115 00:05:54,281 --> 00:05:56,615 good. 116 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,617 Well, they're gonna look even worse when they're 117 00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,736 - jaguar poop! - What? We can't just 118 00:06:00,738 --> 00:06:03,122 - leave them here. - As opposed to what, 119 00:06:03,124 --> 00:06:05,290 Cyril?! You and I sling them over our 120 00:06:05,292 --> 00:06:07,292 shoulders and climb 200 feet straight up a cliff without 121 00:06:07,294 --> 00:06:09,628 - a goddamn rope?! - I... 122 00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:11,630 Wait. Where am I in that scenario?! 123 00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:13,632 I guess getting pooped out of a jaguar! 124 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,634 Well, we definitely can't leave Ray! 125 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,636 We have to! Ray, I'm sorry. 126 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,638 - No, you're not! - I am, actually, 127 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,757 which, whatever, but... 128 00:06:21,759 --> 00:06:24,143 We are not leaving Ray! 129 00:06:24,145 --> 00:06:26,311 What do you even think you're doing? 130 00:06:26,313 --> 00:06:31,716 I am taking command! 131 00:06:31,718 --> 00:06:35,270 - Hey, I'm serious! - Oh, my God. 132 00:06:35,272 --> 00:06:37,606 Okay. Oh, that's really funny. 133 00:06:37,608 --> 00:06:40,159 Thanks, Cyril. I-I think we needed that. 134 00:06:40,161 --> 00:06:42,494 We did. We really did. 135 00:06:42,496 --> 00:06:45,781 Oh, man. Now give me the goddamn weapon. 136 00:06:45,783 --> 00:06:48,333 You nut! 137 00:06:48,335 --> 00:06:50,669 Thought you were gonna hit me with it. 138 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:53,338 I was. Okay, so how do we get Ray and 139 00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:55,574 - his useless legs out of here? - Well, now, I 140 00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:58,093 actually have some thoughts on that. 141 00:06:58,095 --> 00:07:01,463 - Goddamn it. - I think it's a 142 00:07:01,465 --> 00:07:04,433 - pretty good plan, y'all. - No, it isn't! 143 00:07:04,435 --> 00:07:07,752 We might as well slather ourselves with whatever it is 144 00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:11,440 - crocodiles eat, and swim down! - What do crocodiles 145 00:07:11,442 --> 00:07:13,725 - eat? - Everything! 146 00:07:13,727 --> 00:07:19,231 They eat everything! And fear is their bacon bits. 147 00:07:25,013 --> 00:07:27,406 I don't understand what you're saying. 148 00:07:27,646 --> 00:07:29,497 Damn it! Look, I think Malory is 149 00:07:29,595 --> 00:07:32,115 genuinely going through a really hard time right now, so I think 150 00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:34,484 we should do something nice for her. 151 00:07:34,486 --> 00:07:36,653 I don't understand what you're say... 152 00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:38,822 - Goddamn it! - I'm with you, Lana. 153 00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:40,991 It freaked me out seeing her cry like that. 154 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:44,027 - It was like seeing my dad cry. - Crying because...? 155 00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:46,997 Name it. He's a gigantic pussy. 156 00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:49,933 Oh, my God, when my mom died? Hey, and speaking of pussies... 157 00:07:49,935 --> 00:07:52,436 A Long Island Iced Tea? I'm not even supposed to drink 158 00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:54,771 - regular iced tea. - Yeah, this is a Long 159 00:07:54,773 --> 00:07:57,074 - Island. - Yeah, stupid! 160 00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:59,609 - Your words. - Shut up! 161 00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:01,778 And, okay, so what would cheer Malory up? 162 00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:03,947 - What does she like? - Archer and money and 163 00:08:03,949 --> 00:08:06,450 - liquor. - Besides that. 164 00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:08,719 Some different liquor. 165 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,654 You know what always cheers me up... 166 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,789 We're not giving her cocaine. 167 00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:15,092 - I was gonna say cock. - Yeah, stup... Ow! 168 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:17,627 - You done? - I am. Thank you. 169 00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:19,963 Ass. And Pam, that's not a bad idea. 170 00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:22,466 Hmm. I don't know if I'd be comfortable with that. 171 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,801 - I mean, even for me, it's... - Let me stop you before 172 00:08:24,803 --> 00:08:28,472 you say what it is you think I'm talking about. 173 00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:30,640 Getting shitty drunk on two different kinds of liquor, 174 00:08:30,642 --> 00:08:32,943 dressing up like Mr. Archer, and banging the old lady with 175 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:35,479 a strap... Ow! 176 00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,647 That's not what I had in mind. 177 00:08:37,649 --> 00:08:39,649 Okay, good, 'cause the the dressing up like Mr. Archer 178 00:08:39,651 --> 00:08:41,985 - part makes it kind of weird. - I... 179 00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:44,388 I'd have to be super drunk, like so drunk I bet I 180 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:47,424 wouldn't even enjoy...! Ow! 181 00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:51,528 - Okay, so what's your plan? - Well, eventually, we 182 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,580 have to come to a village or whatever, and maybe we can 183 00:08:53,582 --> 00:08:55,749 barter with them for a ride, or... 184 00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:58,051 Barter with what, Cyril? 185 00:08:58,053 --> 00:09:00,053 I don't know. Maybe the gun, or... 186 00:09:00,055 --> 00:09:02,422 Yes! Great idea, yeah, Cyril. 187 00:09:02,424 --> 00:09:04,758 Let's give an M-16 to a bunch of wild Indians! 188 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,927 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey! - Goddamn, 189 00:09:06,929 --> 00:09:09,062 - Huckleberry Finn! - What?! I don't think 190 00:09:09,064 --> 00:09:11,064 it's racist to assume that a previously uncontacted tribe of 191 00:09:11,066 --> 00:09:14,985 indigenous peoples might react unpredictably, perhaps even 192 00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:18,855 wildly, to a bunch of white guys who walk up and hand 'em a 193 00:09:18,857 --> 00:09:21,358 - goddamn M-16! - Oh, okay. 194 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,360 I didn't know in your scenario the indigenous people were 195 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,529 - uncontacted. - Totally different 196 00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:27,697 - scenario. - In which, no, you 197 00:09:27,699 --> 00:09:29,866 obviously wouldn't just want to hand them an M-16. 198 00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:32,035 'Cause they'd be, like, "What?!" 199 00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:35,539 Or whatever their word for that is. 200 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:37,874 - What? - A spa day! 201 00:09:37,876 --> 00:09:40,377 What? No. I can't go out like this. 202 00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,712 No, no, no! That's the best part. 203 00:09:42,714 --> 00:09:44,881 - It's here! - Then it's not a spa 204 00:09:44,883 --> 00:09:47,050 day. It's just a bath! 205 00:09:47,052 --> 00:09:49,052 - I want to go back to sleep! - Well, after this, 206 00:09:49,054 --> 00:09:51,388 - you'll be so relaxed. - I took three Valium! 207 00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,557 If I get any more relaxed, I will literally die. 208 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,443 Okay, well, that's also good... because you may not 209 00:09:56,445 --> 00:09:59,563 actually find this to be all that relaxing. 210 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,898 What the...? Why are they dressed like that? 211 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,401 That was the only way they'd do it. 212 00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:07,654 - Strip! - Yay! 213 00:10:07,656 --> 00:10:11,124 - Wait. What? - Crocodylus acutus! 214 00:10:11,126 --> 00:10:13,660 And maybe even... Are we in the Orinoco drainage 215 00:10:13,662 --> 00:10:15,962 - basin? - How should I know? 216 00:10:15,964 --> 00:10:18,498 Okay, so maybe Crocodylus intermedius is in 217 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,001 play! Not to mention four kinds of 218 00:10:21,003 --> 00:10:23,503 caiman, including the Black Caiman, which can grow up to 219 00:10:23,505 --> 00:10:25,839 - 22 feet! - Is that why you're 220 00:10:25,841 --> 00:10:28,141 - up on those goddamn cans? - Yeah, if a big bull 221 00:10:28,143 --> 00:10:30,677 croc slithers up on the raft, I'm gonna pour a ring of gas 222 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:33,013 - around me and set it on fire. - Why...? 223 00:10:33,015 --> 00:10:35,515 Cyril, they can't chomp through fire. 224 00:10:35,517 --> 00:10:37,851 Although, I have no reason to think that. 225 00:10:37,853 --> 00:10:40,153 Why are you so scared of crocodiles? 226 00:10:40,155 --> 00:10:42,689 Gee, I don't know, Cyril. 227 00:10:42,691 --> 00:10:45,025 Maybe deep down, I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived 228 00:10:45,027 --> 00:10:47,477 - through the K-T extinction. - The...? 229 00:10:47,479 --> 00:10:49,812 Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because 230 00:10:49,814 --> 00:10:52,115 it's the perfect killing machine-- a half-ton of 231 00:10:52,117 --> 00:10:56,119 cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and 232 00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:58,988 stomach acid so strong, it can dissolve bones and hooves. 233 00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:01,491 And now we're surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the 234 00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:04,994 - shadows, waiting for the night. - ♪ Waiting 235 00:11:04,996 --> 00:11:07,497 For the night! ♪ Damn it, Ray! 236 00:11:07,499 --> 00:11:09,832 - ♪ Ooh-hoo! - Keep your voice down! 237 00:11:09,834 --> 00:11:12,135 Why?! Crocodiles don't have ears! 238 00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:14,504 They absolutely have ears, shit head! 239 00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:16,506 Well, so do I, and you just talked yourself out of 240 00:11:16,508 --> 00:11:19,109 a hat! 241 00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,611 - Jeezy Pete's! - Way to go, Ray. 242 00:11:21,613 --> 00:11:23,947 Now he's got a taste for... 243 00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:26,449 - Oh, my God! - Shoot it! Shoot it! 244 00:11:26,451 --> 00:11:28,785 - Shoot it! - Uh, I can't! 245 00:11:28,787 --> 00:11:31,020 Sweet Jesus God, then at least shoot out my eyes 246 00:11:31,022 --> 00:11:33,523 so I don't have to see! 247 00:11:33,525 --> 00:11:36,693 - Oh, my God! - What is happening? 248 00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:38,995 Oh, God! 249 00:11:38,997 --> 00:11:41,498 Oh, boy. 250 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,833 No. 251 00:11:48,724 --> 00:11:50,890 Huh. 252 00:11:50,892 --> 00:11:53,059 I thought that was gonna be way more... epic-fireball-y. 253 00:11:53,061 --> 00:11:55,395 Wuh-wuh, wuh-wuh, 254 00:11:55,397 --> 00:11:57,564 wuh-wuh... - Come, Cyril. 255 00:11:57,566 --> 00:11:59,733 Pick one. Either have a stroke, or spit it 256 00:11:59,735 --> 00:12:02,018 - out. W-w-were you g-g-gonna 257 00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:04,521 say, "A taste for human flesh?" No, I was gonna say, 258 00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,856 "Hat," but now it's not funny. Well, not as funny. 259 00:12:06,858 --> 00:12:09,159 It's all your fault. 260 00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:11,695 - It's all your fault. - Which part, Ray?! 261 00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:14,030 The part where I flipped our jeep down a cliff about 90 262 00:12:14,032 --> 00:12:17,667 goddamn times, because I got drunk to cope with the fact I 263 00:12:17,669 --> 00:12:19,953 was about to murder us in the jungle?! 264 00:12:19,955 --> 00:12:22,672 Well, it-it... it's your fault we're in this stupid 265 00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:25,008 - jungle in the first place! - Well, if we're gonna 266 00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:28,094 go back to the beginning of time, Mother's the one who got 267 00:12:28,096 --> 00:12:30,764 us arrested for treason, and then bought a ton of goddamn 268 00:12:30,766 --> 00:12:33,099 - cocaine! - I thought you b-bought 269 00:12:33,101 --> 00:12:35,602 - it. - Wait. What? 270 00:12:35,604 --> 00:12:37,937 Up! Up! Hands off the goods, mister! 271 00:12:37,939 --> 00:12:40,106 - Aw. - I said that's 272 00:12:40,108 --> 00:12:42,609 ridiculous. Where would I get 2,000 pounds 273 00:12:42,611 --> 00:12:44,944 - of cocaine? - But if you didn't... 274 00:12:44,946 --> 00:12:47,113 Okay, so, where would Archer get that much coke? 275 00:12:47,115 --> 00:12:49,566 Well, who knows with him? 276 00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,568 Maybe wherever he got that new kind of VD none of the doctors 277 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:53,737 - had ever seen before. - Wha?! When was that?! 278 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:55,905 - Yeah, when was that? - Seriously, was... 279 00:12:55,907 --> 00:12:58,408 Trust me, if you had it, you'd know. 280 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,577 - Phew! - Ugh. I loathe knowing 281 00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:02,746 that I had sex with the same person as you two. 282 00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:04,914 What? You had sex with me! 283 00:13:04,916 --> 00:13:07,083 No, I... Oh, my God, that's right. 284 00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:09,419 - Ha! - What are you laughing 285 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:11,621 - at? - Oh, my God, that's 286 00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,790 - right. - So if you dicks want 287 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,958 to blame somebody for our current predicament, blame... 288 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:20,847 You! I blame you! Archer! I blame you! 289 00:13:20,849 --> 00:13:23,983 J'accuse! 290 00:13:23,985 --> 00:13:30,490 What was that, Ray?! 291 00:13:31,874 --> 00:13:35,328 Sorry. I genuinely couldn't hear you. 292 00:13:38,099 --> 00:13:41,904 Jesus, what is wrong 293 00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:43,505 - with you two? - What's wrong?! 294 00:13:43,598 --> 00:13:46,048 What's wrong is we're about to be on fire! 295 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,100 - Do something! - Uh, no? 296 00:13:48,102 --> 00:13:50,102 - Archer! - Not until you 297 00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:52,104 - apologize. - For what?! 298 00:13:52,106 --> 00:13:54,106 Ray, goddamn it, just apologize! 299 00:13:54,108 --> 00:13:56,559 I... Jesus Christ, I'm sorry! 300 00:13:56,561 --> 00:13:58,561 There, was that so hard? 301 00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:01,230 Okay! 302 00:14:01,232 --> 00:14:03,232 What the hell are you... 303 00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:05,618 - Crocodile repellent! - What?! 304 00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:08,070 We got to swim for it-- on three. 305 00:14:08,072 --> 00:14:10,740 No, no, n... Archer! 306 00:14:10,742 --> 00:14:13,075 Sorry, three! Kick, Cyril, kick! 307 00:14:15,696 --> 00:14:18,381 It's okay, stupid, I forgive you. 308 00:14:18,383 --> 00:14:20,716 - F... - Forgive, yes. 309 00:14:20,718 --> 00:14:25,371 Cannonball! Woooooo!! 310 00:14:30,845 --> 00:14:33,729 - Oh... - Oh, God, I think I 311 00:14:33,731 --> 00:14:35,731 - swallowed a leech. - Well, the gas ought 312 00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:37,733 - to kill that. - You 313 00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:39,852 asshole, you could've killed us! 314 00:14:39,854 --> 00:14:41,654 - Well?! - Well, you did set the 315 00:14:41,656 --> 00:14:43,572 - raft on fire. - Oh, my God, you 316 00:14:43,574 --> 00:14:47,443 - always take his side! - I never, ever, ever 317 00:14:47,445 --> 00:14:50,579 - take his side. - Blah, blah, blah, 318 00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,915 some joke about you two having vaginas. 319 00:14:52,917 --> 00:14:54,617 - Come on, let's go. - Go where? 320 00:14:54,619 --> 00:14:56,752 Well, long-term, I was thinking home. 321 00:14:56,754 --> 00:14:59,455 Short-term, I... Here, hold this. 322 00:14:59,457 --> 00:15:01,457 Go herd. 323 00:15:01,459 --> 00:15:04,093 Short-term, somewhere that's not the crocodile version 324 00:15:04,095 --> 00:15:06,345 of a drive-through. 325 00:15:06,347 --> 00:15:08,347 Sounds good! Here we go! 326 00:15:08,349 --> 00:15:10,349 - Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. - I got it. 327 00:15:10,351 --> 00:15:13,252 - Cyril. - What if I need a gun? 328 00:15:13,254 --> 00:15:15,754 Um... here. 329 00:15:15,756 --> 00:15:17,807 - Oh, come on. - The only limit is 330 00:15:17,809 --> 00:15:22,862 your imagination. Pyoo! Pyoo! 331 00:15:22,864 --> 00:15:27,099 Aw, look, she's almost 332 00:15:27,101 --> 00:15:29,735 - not terrifying. - Thanks, you 333 00:15:29,737 --> 00:15:31,737 guys. I think the spa day took her 334 00:15:31,739 --> 00:15:35,124 mind off Archer being missing, even if it almost got weird. 335 00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:37,493 - She made it weird. - No, you did. 336 00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:39,578 - Nobody wants an enema. - Some people... 337 00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:41,831 - Not with yogurt. - So... you think those 338 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:44,417 - guys are okay? - I don't know. 339 00:15:44,419 --> 00:15:46,719 I mean, if it were anybody else, I'd say no, but this is Archer 340 00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:50,389 we're talking about so... probably not. 341 00:15:50,391 --> 00:15:52,725 Oh, for... Can you not give it a rest? 342 00:15:52,727 --> 00:15:54,760 Not until he admits he's been half-assing this 343 00:15:54,762 --> 00:15:56,762 entire cocaine debacle from the get-go. 344 00:15:56,764 --> 00:15:58,764 That's only because I thought it was gonna be way 345 00:15:58,766 --> 00:16:00,766 - easier. - You think 346 00:16:00,768 --> 00:16:03,769 - everything's gonna be easy! - It almost always is! 347 00:16:03,771 --> 00:16:06,155 Aha! See? That's what I resent. 348 00:16:06,157 --> 00:16:08,491 What do you resent, Ray, my muscly shoulders poking 349 00:16:08,493 --> 00:16:11,076 - into your tum-tum? - I resent how you 350 00:16:11,078 --> 00:16:13,162 never take anything seriously because you just assume 351 00:16:13,164 --> 00:16:15,164 everything's gonna work out for you. 352 00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:17,166 It almost always does! 353 00:16:17,168 --> 00:16:19,168 Case in point. 354 00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:22,338 - What the... - Goddamn it. 355 00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:24,373 Hey, do you think those guys are Doctors 356 00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:26,759 - Without Borders? - Yes, Cyril, I do. 357 00:16:26,761 --> 00:16:29,512 I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccine. 358 00:16:29,514 --> 00:16:32,431 They're narcos, dummy. And that plane's probably loaded 359 00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:34,433 with coke. Okay, here's the plan... 360 00:16:34,435 --> 00:16:36,435 - What? Are you crazy? - You're out of your 361 00:16:36,437 --> 00:16:38,437 - mind. - We have to get out of 362 00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:41,607 the country, so we can either walk out-- which, no, no, we 363 00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:45,478 can't-- or we can fly out in an airplane full of cocaine. 364 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,646 Ray is paralyzed. Who's gonna fly it? 365 00:16:47,648 --> 00:16:49,648 Don't... That... Why would you worry about that 366 00:16:49,650 --> 00:16:51,650 - before you need to? - What? 367 00:16:51,652 --> 00:16:53,702 Why clog your brain with a bunch of hypothetical 368 00:16:53,704 --> 00:16:56,038 - maybe-what-if bullshit? - Because... 369 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,040 Shut up. This is what we're doing. 370 00:16:58,042 --> 00:17:02,411 So, Cyril, lock and load that stick. 371 00:17:09,253 --> 00:17:18,511 Manos arriba. 372 00:17:18,513 --> 00:17:21,096 - Nice. - You want to... 373 00:17:21,098 --> 00:17:25,734 Oh, right. 374 00:17:25,736 --> 00:17:28,819 Bueno pues, cuando está cargado... 375 00:17:28,939 --> 00:17:29,985 Manos... 376 00:17:30,776 --> 00:17:34,450 Um...wait, what was it? Arriba! Goddamn it. 377 00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:37,118 ¡Manos arriba! 378 00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:40,611 I don't think so, gringo. Drop your weapons! I'm serious. 379 00:17:40,731 --> 00:17:44,095 I will shoot this guy right in the... 380 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:47,489 What the hell is that? 381 00:17:48,159 --> 00:17:51,049 Pyoo! Pyoo! 382 00:17:51,169 --> 00:17:56,741 Suppressing fiiiiiire! 383 00:17:59,303 --> 00:18:02,947 - Okay, okay! - Goddamn it, Cyril! 384 00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:06,283 Woooooo!! Oh, geez, oh, geez, oh, geez! Sorry. 385 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:10,306 That's why I wanted you to be stick. Uh-uh! 386 00:18:10,678 --> 00:18:13,724 Yeah, come on. It's been a long day. Do you have any 387 00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:19,415 idea who we are? Mmm... nope. Do you know who we are? 388 00:18:19,775 --> 00:18:23,834 No. Then blow me. 389 00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:28,039 Cyril, make sure it's good and tight. 390 00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:31,075 Why are we not still doing phrasing? Why are we still not 391 00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:34,927 worrying about who's gonna fly the damn plane?! Oh, right. 392 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:38,349 ¡- Oye, pendejos! - ¿Quién es el piloto? 393 00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:40,969 _ 394 00:18:41,403 --> 00:18:43,120 Oh, you are kidding. Okay, Ray, ballpark, 395 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:47,388 - how long will it take you to teach me how to fly a plane? - What... how long? 396 00:18:47,508 --> 00:18:49,693 I flew the space shuttle. Cyril, hush. 397 00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,730 Big guys. Ray, how long... How long will it take 398 00:18:52,864 --> 00:18:57,301 you, Archer, to admit you dick around every time we're in danger just to screw with 399 00:18:57,436 --> 00:19:00,569 everybody because of your complete... 400 00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:03,755 no, your utter contempt for your own mortality? 401 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:09,680 I mean... Yeah, duh. That's all I wanted. 402 00:19:13,545 --> 00:19:15,902 Oh, you could walk this whole time? 403 00:19:18,938 --> 00:19:21,684 No, Cyril, of course I'm not mad. 404 00:19:22,599 --> 00:19:24,570 I think what Ray did was awesome. 405 00:19:24,690 --> 00:19:26,261 Okay, then, well you are an idiot. 406 00:19:26,381 --> 00:19:27,394 Your words. 407 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:29,208 Which I guess, so am I, 408 00:19:29,328 --> 00:19:32,063 since I just realized we can't land anywhere with all this cocaine on board. 409 00:19:32,183 --> 00:19:33,815 Oh, my God, you guys, where are we gonna land? 410 00:19:33,935 --> 00:19:35,987 Jesus Christ, woman, calm down. 411 00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:39,620 We got 5 hours of fuel. We'll worry about that when we have to. 412 00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:41,590 Guess I'm rubbing off on you, Ray. 413 00:19:44,679 --> 00:19:46,870 - Goddammit! - What? 414 00:19:46,990 --> 00:19:49,945 Why aren't we doing phrasing? 415 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:09,862 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com