1
00:00:01,604 --> 00:00:02,938
(upbeat march plays)
2
00:00:02,972 --> 00:00:05,807
♪ Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:05,842 --> 00:00:09,744
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
4
00:00:09,779 --> 00:00:12,747
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
5
00:00:12,782 --> 00:00:17,085
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
6
00:00:18,988 --> 00:00:22,290
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:22,325 --> 00:00:24,292
♪ Good...
♪ Good morning, USA
8
00:00:24,327 --> 00:00:25,927
Aah!
9
00:00:26,047 --> 00:00:30,599
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
10
00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:33,101
(video game music plays)
11
00:00:33,136 --> 00:00:34,529
(door opens, closes)
12
00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:37,735
The TV is mine, boys.
Downton Abbey is on
13
00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:40,071
and I intend to see if
Lord Grantham will be able
14
00:00:40,105 --> 00:00:42,140
to modernize his
accounting practices.
15
00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:45,009
Dad, just hold on, we're
on the last level of the game.
16
00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:47,378
STAN:
What is this game?
17
00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:49,981
You're just throwing stuff
at old-timey ladies.
18
00:00:50,015 --> 00:00:52,383
You go back in time and
have to find Hitler's mom
19
00:00:52,418 --> 00:00:53,885
when she was pregnant with him
20
00:00:53,919 --> 00:00:55,653
and somehow induce
a miscarriage.
21
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:57,956
It's called
Nazi Natal Nightmare.
22
00:00:57,990 --> 00:01:00,024
(gasps)
23
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,393
STEVE:
Keep tossing!
24
00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:03,628
She's heading for the hospital
25
00:01:03,629 --> 00:01:05,396
to give birth, but
it's not too late!
26
00:01:05,431 --> 00:01:07,966
We need to aim for the soft spot
on baby Hitler's head.
27
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,400
One direct hit there,
28
00:01:09,435 --> 00:01:11,569
and we can still prevent
the Holocaust.
29
00:01:11,604 --> 00:01:12,737
(chirping)
30
00:01:12,771 --> 00:01:15,006
(all scream)
31
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,408
You killed my grandparents,
you bastard!
32
00:01:17,443 --> 00:01:19,510
I'm tired of you kids
always being indoors
33
00:01:19,545 --> 00:01:20,845
and playing video games.
34
00:01:20,879 --> 00:01:22,347
Play outside for a change.
35
00:01:22,381 --> 00:01:25,049
But we already completed,
Outside.
36
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:28,353
And Outside II:
Without a Sweater.
37
00:01:28,387 --> 00:01:30,088
Have you kids ever spent
a day outside
38
00:01:30,122 --> 00:01:33,191
just throwing actual rocks
with your actual arms?
39
00:01:33,225 --> 00:01:34,659
Nah.
No, no.
40
00:01:34,693 --> 00:01:36,628
Hmm.
No. I've heard of rocks.
41
00:01:36,662 --> 00:01:38,296
No. No. No.
42
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:40,431
Have any of you ever held
an actual nudie magazine
43
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:41,799
that your friend, Mark,
44
00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,434
pulled out of the Dumpster
at church?
45
00:01:43,469 --> 00:01:45,837
Oh, no, haven't done that, no.
No.
46
00:01:45,871 --> 00:01:47,639
And I bet you've never
felt the rush
47
00:01:47,673 --> 00:01:50,608
of stumbling across a dead body
while roaming through the woods.
48
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:51,776
No, Papa.
49
00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:53,177
Well, I have.
50
00:01:53,212 --> 00:01:54,312
And all that real-life living
51
00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:55,847
made me the man I am today.
52
00:01:55,881 --> 00:01:57,482
I didn't need video games.
53
00:01:57,516 --> 00:02:00,218
I invented my own games,
like rock fight.
54
00:02:00,252 --> 00:02:02,553
Not sure
you invented rock fights.
55
00:02:02,588 --> 00:02:03,821
I did invent it!
56
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:04,989
And I was the champion.
57
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,391
I defeated the guy
who taught me.
58
00:02:06,425 --> 00:02:08,226
Dad, we make our own games, too.
59
00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:10,128
That game you
so rudely shut off,
60
00:02:10,162 --> 00:02:12,864
that was an existing
Franco-Prussian war game
61
00:02:12,898 --> 00:02:15,233
we jzushed up with code
we wrote ourselves.
62
00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,935
Steve, the words you just
strung together devastate me.
63
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:20,204
Go outside and play now!
64
00:02:27,546 --> 00:02:29,514
(birds chirping, cawing)
65
00:02:29,548 --> 00:02:31,549
Oh, for God's sake.
66
00:02:37,489 --> 00:02:39,857
Dad, we were FaceTiming
with each other.
67
00:02:39,892 --> 00:02:42,326
You really have to do
something about your dad.
68
00:02:42,361 --> 00:02:44,295
Who said that?
Identify yourself.
69
00:02:45,297 --> 00:02:46,731
Stan, what's going on?
70
00:02:46,765 --> 00:02:48,599
These kids are wasting
their childhoods
71
00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:50,234
on their video games
and phones.
72
00:02:50,269 --> 00:02:52,770
So this weekend,
I'm taking them to the woods
73
00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:55,273
so they can have the kind
of adventures I had as a kid.
74
00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:56,941
Absolutely not.
75
00:02:56,975 --> 00:02:58,676
Steve can't handle the woods.
76
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:01,279
He wears Velcro laces, Stan.
77
00:03:01,313 --> 00:03:04,382
Velcro, like an infant.
78
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:06,517
But, Mom... I mean Francine!
79
00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:08,119
Forget it, Stan.
80
00:03:08,153 --> 00:03:10,354
You will not take
our boy into the woods
81
00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:12,990
or you're grounded!
I mean, cut off from sex.
82
00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:15,693
Promise me you won't
take him, Stan.
83
00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:18,730
(sighs)
All right, I promise, Francine.
84
00:03:19,765 --> 00:03:21,532
Will Stan keep his promise?
85
00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:23,408
Will Steve and the boys
get their phones fixed?
86
00:03:23,435 --> 00:03:24,669
Will they...?
87
00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:26,504
Get in the house, Randy!
88
00:03:31,176 --> 00:03:32,844
Have you ever looked up
at the night sky
89
00:03:32,878 --> 00:03:35,346
and thought,
"I'd like to get in on that"?
90
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:37,515
At the International
Star Registry,
91
00:03:37,549 --> 00:03:40,585
you can actually
purchase your own star.
92
00:03:40,619 --> 00:03:43,154
I bought one for my wife
on our anniversary.
93
00:03:43,188 --> 00:03:45,923
I bought one for myself
when I got passed over at work.
94
00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:48,926
I haven't bought one yet,
but I'm real close.
95
00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:50,795
Ha! What a bunch of suckers.
96
00:03:50,829 --> 00:03:52,330
That's as stupid
as buying a goat
97
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:53,998
for a poor family in Africa.
98
00:03:54,032 --> 00:03:55,867
Roger, you know every year
99
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:58,136
I buy a goat for a
poor family in Africa.
100
00:03:58,170 --> 00:04:01,038
Oh, right, you're the sucker
that actually cares about stuff.
101
00:04:01,073 --> 00:04:02,674
And by the way,
you're wasting your money
102
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:04,041
sending a goat over there.
103
00:04:04,076 --> 00:04:06,377
You could have shipped
Jim Breuer for half the cost.
104
00:04:06,411 --> 00:04:09,447
ANNOUNCER: American Dad!
Remembers Jim Breuer.
105
00:04:09,481 --> 00:04:10,681
(goat bleats)
106
00:04:10,716 --> 00:04:13,384
You know what, I am
sick of you pretending
107
00:04:13,418 --> 00:04:14,919
you don't care about anything
108
00:04:14,953 --> 00:04:17,221
and making fun of
those of us who do.
109
00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:19,123
(pop, sizzles)
110
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,593
Sure, make another joke.
111
00:04:22,628 --> 00:04:25,062
But deep down, I know
you care about something,
112
00:04:25,097 --> 00:04:26,798
and I'm gonna find out what.
113
00:04:26,832 --> 00:04:28,566
Sounds like a great use
of your time,
114
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,668
but three things you might
want to deal with first:
115
00:04:30,702 --> 00:04:32,870
mustache, eyebrows...
116
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,640
mustache.
117
00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:39,677
(slurping)
118
00:04:39,711 --> 00:04:41,913
Steve's never gonna have
the type of childhood I had.
119
00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:43,147
It's sad.
120
00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:45,149
Kids today!
121
00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:46,584
When I was a lad,
122
00:04:46,618 --> 00:04:48,853
I never saw the point
of playing inside.
123
00:04:48,887 --> 00:04:52,123
Until I was sent
to an all-boy's boarding school.
124
00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:54,659
Then my tune changed.
125
00:04:54,693 --> 00:04:56,761
What I'd love to do
is drop those kids
126
00:04:56,795 --> 00:04:58,162
in the middle of the forest,
127
00:04:58,197 --> 00:04:59,931
make them have
some real experiences,
128
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:02,166
like wolves' kids do.
129
00:05:02,234 --> 00:05:05,536
Sir, these cucumber sandwiches
are divine,
130
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,505
but when did the CIA
get a tearoom?
131
00:05:07,539 --> 00:05:10,474
At the same time
that we got a yacht!
132
00:05:10,509 --> 00:05:11,843
(buzzing)
133
00:05:11,877 --> 00:05:13,845
(horn blares)
134
00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:15,179
Whoa!
What the hell?!
135
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:16,314
Where are we?
136
00:05:16,348 --> 00:05:18,216
I'll tell you where we are.
137
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,651
At the top of an
active volcano!
138
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,621
What was in that tea?
139
00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:25,122
A very light opiate,
140
00:05:25,157 --> 00:05:27,825
but that has nothing to do with
the visions you're seeing.
141
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,393
Follow me.
142
00:05:29,428 --> 00:05:31,963
(buzzing, mechanical whirring)
143
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:35,466
This control room is able
to calibrate force fields
144
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,735
so strong that
the holographic images
145
00:05:37,769 --> 00:05:40,605
projected onto them feel real
to the touch.
146
00:05:40,639 --> 00:05:42,540
Ah! So it works like
the holodeck.
147
00:05:42,574 --> 00:05:44,342
The what now?
From Star Trek.
148
00:05:44,376 --> 00:05:47,345
Some of us spent the late '80s
and early '90s
149
00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:49,013
getting laid, Smith.
150
00:05:49,047 --> 00:05:52,683
In any event, I call this room
the hologram deck.
151
00:05:52,718 --> 00:05:54,852
So it can recreate
any environment?
152
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:58,456
Well, any environment stored
in our bank of human memories.
153
00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,324
Wait, you recorded our memories?
154
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:03,661
Yes, remember those headphones
you got for Christmas?
155
00:06:03,695 --> 00:06:05,696
They weren't headphones.
156
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:07,231
Those things never worked.
157
00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:09,166
Actually, they worked perfectly.
158
00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:11,535
Here's one of mine.
Have a look.
159
00:06:13,038 --> 00:06:15,873
Oh, Avery,
you're as tight as the fabric
160
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,742
on a reupholstered davenport.
161
00:06:17,776 --> 00:06:20,811
Not for long, I wasn't.
162
00:06:20,846 --> 00:06:24,749
This was the day I started
to like playing inside.
163
00:06:24,783 --> 00:06:26,951
Playing inside, eh?
164
00:06:26,985 --> 00:06:28,152
Wait a minute.
165
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:30,488
So this holodeck
could simulate the woods
166
00:06:30,522 --> 00:06:32,056
I played in as a child?
167
00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:34,125
(moaning in hologram)
Of course it can, Smith,
168
00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:38,162
but you do know we're seconds
away from a sex scene, right?
169
00:06:40,699 --> 00:06:41,966
(shutter clicks)
170
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,801
This one's going straight
to Instagram.
171
00:06:43,835 --> 00:06:45,069
(whooshing, dings)
172
00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:46,570
Oh, Klaus already liked it.
173
00:06:46,605 --> 00:06:47,738
Thanks, Klaus!
174
00:06:47,773 --> 00:06:49,240
KLAUS (laughs):
No, thank you!
175
00:06:49,274 --> 00:06:50,474
Hey, Roger.
176
00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:52,710
I decided to buy
a little present for myself.
177
00:06:52,744 --> 00:06:54,545
You bought a star.
178
00:06:54,579 --> 00:06:55,846
Hilarious.
179
00:06:55,881 --> 00:06:57,381
Not just any star.
180
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:58,582
Look closer.
181
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:01,452
X3Q8F-3X?
182
00:07:01,486 --> 00:07:04,588
That's-that's my
home planet's sun.
183
00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:06,724
And I own the deed.
It's mine.
184
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:08,659
I guess that makes me
your leader.
185
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:12,430
(gasps) Yeah, it bothers
you, doesn't it?
186
00:07:12,464 --> 00:07:15,132
(gasps) Maybe I found
something you care about.
187
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,635
It's a piece of paper that
means absolutely nothing.
188
00:07:17,669 --> 00:07:19,737
I don't care.
I don't care at all.
189
00:07:19,771 --> 00:07:21,172
Oh, then you won't care
190
00:07:21,206 --> 00:07:23,407
if I name the star
after something you hate.
191
00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:25,309
You could name it
Jessica Seinfeld,
192
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:26,477
for all I care.
193
00:07:26,511 --> 00:07:28,479
Maybe I will.
194
00:07:28,513 --> 00:07:31,816
Oh, my God,
why did I put that in her head?
195
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:33,317
(video game music playing)
196
00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:34,819
(chirping, dinging)
197
00:07:34,853 --> 00:07:36,320
(high-pitched yell)
198
00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:38,089
BARRY:
Oh, no! Her water broke.
199
00:07:38,123 --> 00:07:39,457
We're running out of time!
200
00:07:39,491 --> 00:07:40,725
Hit her with everything!
201
00:07:40,759 --> 00:07:42,560
Toshi, use your mega-hanger!
202
00:07:45,497 --> 00:07:47,765
(dinging)
203
00:07:47,799 --> 00:07:49,066
(baby crying)
204
00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,835
(groaning)
205
00:07:50,869 --> 00:07:54,572
I know he's gonna be a monster,
but I do love babies.
206
00:07:54,606 --> 00:07:57,041
Boys, I'm sorry I was
a jerk the other day.
207
00:07:57,075 --> 00:07:58,676
I'd like to make it up to you.
208
00:07:58,710 --> 00:08:00,378
I'm taking you all
to Gamer Town
209
00:08:00,412 --> 00:08:02,279
to buy you whatever
games you want.
210
00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:03,614
(cheering)
211
00:08:03,648 --> 00:08:05,516
I also got you guys
these cheeseburgers.
212
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,618
Can't buy video games
on an empty stomach.
213
00:08:07,652 --> 00:08:09,920
Well, I guess today
is gonna be my cheat day.
214
00:08:09,955 --> 00:08:11,389
Thanks, Dad.
215
00:08:11,423 --> 00:08:13,557
You really came around on thi...
216
00:08:13,592 --> 00:08:14,859
(groans)
217
00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:18,029
Mine's not working.
218
00:08:18,063 --> 00:08:19,430
Have three more.
219
00:08:21,421 --> 00:08:23,456
(birds chirping, cawing)
220
00:08:24,357 --> 00:08:26,125
(groans):
Oh, man.
221
00:08:26,159 --> 00:08:29,161
Your dad must have roofied
those hamburgers.
222
00:08:29,196 --> 00:08:31,263
Where the hell are we?
223
00:08:31,298 --> 00:08:32,798
You're in the forest,
224
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:34,934
but not the actual forest,
225
00:08:34,968 --> 00:08:38,070
so technically I kept my promise
to Francine.
226
00:08:38,104 --> 00:08:40,239
My first promise.
227
00:08:40,273 --> 00:08:42,541
I can't believe my
dad ditched us here.
228
00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:48,914
Guys, how long do you think
we can last out here?
229
00:08:48,949 --> 00:08:50,916
I don't know,
but if we're gonna die,
230
00:08:50,951 --> 00:08:52,618
I'm not going out a virgin.
231
00:08:53,987 --> 00:08:56,589
Well, if trees count,
then I'm Wilt Chamberlain.
232
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,791
Come on, you guys,
don't just stand there.
233
00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:00,726
Explore the forest,
have adventures.
234
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,027
Hmm.
235
00:09:02,062 --> 00:09:03,829
Turning down the temperature
236
00:09:03,864 --> 00:09:05,464
ought to get them moving.
237
00:09:05,499 --> 00:09:07,633
(wind blowing)
238
00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:09,902
Wow, it-it's
getting chilly.
239
00:09:09,936 --> 00:09:11,509
Does anyone know
how to build a fire?
240
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:14,852
I know a fire-making spell
from Harry Potter.
241
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,789
We need to climb into someone's
abdomen for warmth.
242
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:20,491
Everyone whose name
isn't Barry, meeting.
243
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:21,893
Wait, I got a better idea.
244
00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:24,362
Maybe we should spoon
for warmth.
245
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,533
I wish there was
movie we could watch.
246
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,101
A movie?!
247
00:09:30,135 --> 00:09:31,502
You're in the middle
of the forest!
248
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:32,817
All you're doing
is lying around!
249
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,305
That's it,
250
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,341
this train's moving
out of the station right now!
251
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:40,011
Toshi, you're out of sync.
252
00:09:40,045 --> 00:09:41,546
Can you please
bring your breath
253
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:42,947
into alignment
with the rest of us?
254
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,015
(computer chirps)
255
00:09:44,049 --> 00:09:46,684
(bellowing)
256
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:47,986
(screaming)
257
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:49,687
Oh, my God! A bear!
258
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:50,855
Protect me!
259
00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:53,024
I look the most
like a honey pot!
260
00:09:53,058 --> 00:09:55,093
(screaming)
261
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,630
(rustling, clattering)
262
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,901
Roger, what are you doing?
263
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,903
Who are you to wake up
and question me?
264
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,439
You wouldn't happen to be
looking for this, would you?
265
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:10,975
Look, I'll give you
the certificate, Roger.
266
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,945
You just have to admit
you care about it.
267
00:10:13,979 --> 00:10:16,581
This is not the thing
I'm looking for.
268
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:18,750
Are-are you trying to
use the Force on me?
269
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,685
You know that's
make-believe, right?
270
00:10:20,719 --> 00:10:21,986
So's Rocky!
271
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,621
Ow!
Sorry!
272
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:25,623
(computer chirping)
273
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,458
I'm getting kind of scared.
274
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:29,761
What happens if we never find
our way home?
275
00:10:30,104 --> 00:10:32,872
_
276
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,866
Guys, relax.
277
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,267
My dad can be a jerk,
278
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,436
but he's not gonna let us die
out in the forest.
279
00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,004
He's just trying
to teach us a lesson.
280
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,205
I'm hungry.
281
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,807
Are you sure you're
not just tired?
282
00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:43,841
I don't know!
283
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,910
All my feelings
feel like hungry!
284
00:10:45,944 --> 00:10:49,047
Well, let's try to find
something that we can eat.
285
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,117
Well, my plan seems
to be working.
286
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,186
Now if I push off just right,
287
00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:57,689
it should carry me all the way
to the hot cocoa machine.
288
00:10:58,857 --> 00:11:02,060
I'm Sandra Bullock!
289
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,896
(metallic clank)
Ow!
290
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,833
Guys! Come quick!
291
00:11:08,867 --> 00:11:10,768
Look what I just knocked open.
292
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,036
Oh, my God!
293
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,304
Somebody killed a robot
294
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,772
and buried it in the forest!
295
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:15,940
No, Barry.
296
00:11:15,974 --> 00:11:17,809
I-It's obviously
a control panel.
297
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:21,179
I need you to respect my ideas.
298
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:23,214
(beeping)
299
00:11:24,883 --> 00:11:27,151
Look!
300
00:11:30,522 --> 00:11:31,589
(alarm whoops)
301
00:11:31,623 --> 00:11:32,590
COMPUTER:
Integrity breach.
302
00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:33,958
Panel exposed.
303
00:11:33,992 --> 00:11:35,093
Damn.
304
00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,829
Better close that panel
before the boys see it.
305
00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:40,531
Dad.
306
00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:43,301
He clearly put us in
some sort of CIA holodeck.
307
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,269
I am fuming...
308
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:46,771
and also nerding out!
309
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,947
(whispering):
Come on, now's our chance!
310
00:11:57,816 --> 00:11:59,350
Whoa!
311
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:05,022
Looks like the
tables have turned.
312
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,290
Yep.
313
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:09,060
I'd say this is a classic
dad-puts-son-in-holodeck-
314
00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:10,728
then-finds-himself-
in-said-holodeck-
315
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,630
that's-now-controlled-
by-son scenario.
316
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,606
(TV playing)
(fanfare plays)
317
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,574
Greetings, subject.
318
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:24,909
On your feet, peasant!
319
00:12:24,943 --> 00:12:26,878
What... what the hell
is going on?
320
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,614
Well, since I'm queen
of your solar system,
321
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,449
I figured I should start
dressing like it.
322
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:33,284
That's why I'm
wearing a prom dress
323
00:12:33,318 --> 00:12:34,919
from the Salvation Army.
324
00:12:34,953 --> 00:12:36,921
Okay, first of all, Hayley,
325
00:12:36,955 --> 00:12:38,923
we have a prime minister,
all right?
326
00:12:38,957 --> 00:12:40,057
Second, dress how you like.
327
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,192
I couldn't care less.
328
00:12:41,226 --> 00:12:44,295
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a soufflé.
329
00:12:44,329 --> 00:12:45,963
(sniffles)
330
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:50,101
This is Miss Kentucky 2007
all over again.
331
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:54,605
Hey, look.
332
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,541
They have the recorded memories
333
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,242
of every CIA agent!
334
00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,277
Hmm...
335
00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:01,212
Let's mess with him.
336
00:13:01,246 --> 00:13:03,581
He thinks his childhood was
so much better than ours,
337
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:05,249
let's send him back there.
338
00:13:10,722 --> 00:13:12,890
Wait, this is my childhood home!
339
00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:14,225
What's happening?
340
00:13:14,259 --> 00:13:17,295
Oh, the boys must have gotten
into the control room.
341
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:18,596
JACK:
Stan?
342
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:19,797
Stan, is that you?
343
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,165
Daddy?
344
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,768
Hello, son.
345
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:25,169
I love you!
346
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,972
Wait, that's not
how Grandpa talks.
347
00:13:28,006 --> 00:13:30,174
He says "I love you"
with a cup check.
348
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,742
I'll tell you why.
349
00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:33,110
His memories are being
350
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,146
put through a nostalgia filter.
351
00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:38,149
He's seeing all of this
through rose-colored glasses.
352
00:13:38,183 --> 00:13:40,051
Well, let's take
this down to zero
353
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:41,786
and see how things really were.
354
00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,655
I remember a time
355
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:47,058
when we didn't need
a nostalgia filter.
356
00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:50,294
Oh, those were the days.
357
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,997
(dramatic music plays on TV)
358
00:13:53,031 --> 00:13:54,532
Get out of here, I'm busy!
359
00:13:54,566 --> 00:13:55,800
Go play in your tree house!
360
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,034
Oh.
361
00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:58,169
Okay.
362
00:13:58,203 --> 00:13:59,937
Yeah, I'll go play
in my tree house.
363
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,138
Tree house!
364
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,810
Oh, yeah.
365
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,011
I remember that.
366
00:14:07,045 --> 00:14:09,213
How is he liking this?
367
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:12,083
Ah... the old hood.
368
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,751
Thanks, boys, this is great!
369
00:14:13,785 --> 00:14:16,387
There's the factory,
the slaughterhouse
370
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:18,789
and the river of clotted beef
blood that came out of it
371
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,358
where I used
to race paper boats.
372
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:25,029
Ooh, I'm where I discovered
my first dead body!
373
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:29,534
Aw, there's my special guy.
374
00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:31,435
This isn't messing with him.
375
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:33,337
It's weird and he's loving it.
376
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,506
You guys, what can we do
to mess with him?
377
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:39,143
Well, this is basically
just a big computer game.
378
00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:40,912
I can try to change the code.
379
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,380
Yes, my toad.
380
00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,682
"Pwn" him.
381
00:14:44,716 --> 00:14:46,117
I didn't notice
when I was younger,
382
00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:48,486
but this is a great tie.
383
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,054
I wasn't trying to steal it!
384
00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:52,089
(snarling)
385
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,459
Nice job, Snot!
386
00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:56,827
It's so real!
387
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,496
I-It looks like he's
actually getting hurt.
388
00:14:58,530 --> 00:14:59,630
He is.
389
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:00,998
I thought that's
what we wanted.
390
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:02,133
No!
391
00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,435
I-I just wanted to scare
him, not hurt him!
392
00:15:04,469 --> 00:15:07,071
Now might be a good
time to take a break.
393
00:15:08,703 --> 00:15:10,838
(snarling)
(grunting)
394
00:15:14,528 --> 00:15:16,462
Snot, get rid of the zombie!
395
00:15:16,496 --> 00:15:17,588
That's impossible.
396
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,586
The code's merged
with the simulation.
397
00:15:19,821 --> 00:15:21,233
I can't delete it.
398
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:22,234
(snarls)
399
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:23,269
(screams)
400
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,075
(snarling)
401
00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:31,577
Okay, kids, that's enough!
402
00:15:31,611 --> 00:15:32,811
Turn it off!
403
00:15:32,846 --> 00:15:34,914
(screams)
404
00:15:34,948 --> 00:15:35,948
What the hell?
405
00:15:35,982 --> 00:15:37,550
How did it get so big?
406
00:15:37,584 --> 00:15:40,486
I used the Klara Hitler
code from our game.
407
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,620
We made her bigger
408
00:15:41,655 --> 00:15:43,522
so it would be easier
to hit her belly.
409
00:15:43,557 --> 00:15:45,457
But we never won that game!
410
00:15:45,492 --> 00:15:47,893
Wow, we've had
a lot of backfires,
411
00:15:47,928 --> 00:15:49,662
but this is the most recent.
412
00:15:49,696 --> 00:15:51,997
He's getting larger!
413
00:15:52,032 --> 00:15:53,466
And more confident.
414
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,268
He's not even walking
like a zombie anymore.
415
00:15:56,303 --> 00:15:58,137
He's skipping!
416
00:15:58,171 --> 00:16:01,040
(screaming)
417
00:16:02,075 --> 00:16:03,909
I've gotta go save my dad.
418
00:16:03,944 --> 00:16:06,612
I've gotta go in there.
419
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,752
Thank you, Toshi,
but I must go alone.
420
00:16:18,892 --> 00:16:20,192
All right, guys.
421
00:16:20,227 --> 00:16:21,994
Armor me and supply me
with weapons.
422
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:28,501
(beeping)
423
00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:32,571
And can I get some snacks
between me and the target?
424
00:16:34,508 --> 00:16:36,942
Oh, my God, these dots
are delicious!
425
00:16:36,977 --> 00:16:38,310
Who knew?
426
00:16:39,813 --> 00:16:41,313
(door opens)
427
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,315
Oh, greetings, royal subject.
428
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:45,684
Be a good vassal
and fetch your queen
429
00:16:45,719 --> 00:16:47,686
a Choco Taco most frozen.
430
00:16:47,721 --> 00:16:49,288
I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
431
00:16:49,322 --> 00:16:51,257
Kind of got my hands
full right now.
432
00:16:51,291 --> 00:16:52,358
(bleats)
433
00:16:52,392 --> 00:16:53,893
Recognize this little guy?
434
00:16:53,927 --> 00:16:56,529
It's the goat you bought
for that family in Africa.
435
00:16:56,563 --> 00:16:58,697
Wait, h-how did you get him?
436
00:16:58,732 --> 00:17:00,733
Give me that certificate,
Hayley!
437
00:17:00,767 --> 00:17:02,568
Roger, what the hell
are you doing?
438
00:17:02,602 --> 00:17:04,069
Hand over that star certificate
439
00:17:04,104 --> 00:17:06,038
or the goat gets it!
Are you crazy?
440
00:17:06,072 --> 00:17:07,173
I don't know.
441
00:17:07,207 --> 00:17:09,742
I just went on a 53-hour
Dexatrim-fueled trip
442
00:17:09,776 --> 00:17:11,277
to Senegal to kidnap a goat!
443
00:17:11,311 --> 00:17:12,511
You tell me!
444
00:17:12,546 --> 00:17:14,280
Okay, fine!
Take it!
445
00:17:14,314 --> 00:17:15,347
Geez.
446
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,283
Thank you!
Ha! I win!
447
00:17:17,317 --> 00:17:19,018
Actually, I win.
448
00:17:19,052 --> 00:17:21,187
Because only someone
who truly cared
449
00:17:21,221 --> 00:17:23,222
would have gone to the
lengths that you did.
450
00:17:25,325 --> 00:17:26,859
You poor thing.
451
00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:28,727
You think this is over.
452
00:17:28,762 --> 00:17:30,396
(thunder crashing)
(snarls)
453
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:31,797
Nice dead guy!
454
00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:33,032
Good little dead guy!
455
00:17:33,066 --> 00:17:34,387
I thought you were
just a salesman
456
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:35,534
who had a heart attack
on a hike!
457
00:17:35,569 --> 00:17:36,535
What the hell, man?
458
00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:38,738
(roars)
459
00:17:39,906 --> 00:17:40,906
(screams)
460
00:17:44,578 --> 00:17:45,745
(roars)
461
00:17:45,779 --> 00:17:47,646
Dad, take cover!
462
00:17:47,681 --> 00:17:50,082
And it's time for you
to chill out.
463
00:17:50,117 --> 00:17:51,917
Snot, change my gun
to a freeze ray
464
00:17:51,952 --> 00:17:53,953
so my clever line makes sense.
465
00:18:01,828 --> 00:18:03,596
(roars)
466
00:18:03,630 --> 00:18:04,730
(screams)
467
00:18:04,765 --> 00:18:06,932
(grunts)
STAN: Steve!
468
00:18:06,967 --> 00:18:08,100
Dad!
469
00:18:08,135 --> 00:18:10,136
(zombie roars)
470
00:18:12,172 --> 00:18:14,306
I don't know if we'll
get out of here, son.
471
00:18:14,341 --> 00:18:16,042
He's unstoppable.
472
00:18:16,076 --> 00:18:18,210
If only he had an Achilles'
heel we could exploit.
473
00:18:18,245 --> 00:18:19,912
That's it!
474
00:18:19,946 --> 00:18:20,980
Snot, come in.
475
00:18:21,014 --> 00:18:22,615
I know you can't take out code,
476
00:18:22,649 --> 00:18:23,783
but can you add it?
477
00:18:23,817 --> 00:18:25,484
Yeah, you got a plan?
478
00:18:25,519 --> 00:18:26,819
I need you to program
479
00:18:26,853 --> 00:18:28,954
the Hitler fetus
into the zombie.
480
00:18:28,989 --> 00:18:30,322
What? Why?
481
00:18:30,357 --> 00:18:32,024
'Cause the zombie
needs a weak spot
482
00:18:32,059 --> 00:18:33,926
that we can use to defeat it.
483
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,629
But we've never been able
to kill the Hitler baby.
484
00:18:36,663 --> 00:18:39,865
Maybe we just didn't have
a good enough reason.
485
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,367
Oh, I get it.
486
00:18:41,401 --> 00:18:43,636
'Cause now it's your family.
487
00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:44,804
(creaking)
488
00:18:47,307 --> 00:18:48,774
(beeping)
489
00:18:48,809 --> 00:18:51,677
Steve, I just pressed "enter."
490
00:18:51,712 --> 00:18:53,045
Did it work?
491
00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:55,581
STEVE:
You did it!
492
00:18:55,615 --> 00:18:56,649
(snarls)
493
00:18:57,851 --> 00:18:59,685
(grunts)
494
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:00,886
Dad!
495
00:19:00,921 --> 00:19:02,355
The fetus' weakness
496
00:19:02,389 --> 00:19:04,357
is the soft spot on his head!
497
00:19:04,391 --> 00:19:07,059
You need a direct hit!
With what?
498
00:19:07,094 --> 00:19:09,695
You said you were champion
of rock fights.
499
00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,197
Time to prove it!
500
00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:16,902
Auf Wiedersehen,
you undead son of a bitch!
501
00:19:22,409 --> 00:19:24,176
(pop)
502
00:19:24,211 --> 00:19:26,012
(warbling)
503
00:19:26,046 --> 00:19:28,214
(roar, explosion)
504
00:19:29,249 --> 00:19:31,851
I'm the champion!
505
00:19:31,885 --> 00:19:33,819
STEVE:
Uh, Dad?
506
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,558
Nice rock throwin', Pop!
507
00:19:39,593 --> 00:19:41,560
Nice...
video game...
508
00:19:41,595 --> 00:19:42,828
stuff, son!
509
00:19:42,863 --> 00:19:45,064
You know, I was wrong.
510
00:19:45,098 --> 00:19:47,700
I thought you boys
weren't prepared for the future.
511
00:19:47,734 --> 00:19:50,002
But now I realize your future
512
00:19:50,037 --> 00:19:51,671
is gonna be filled
with that crap, so...
513
00:19:51,705 --> 00:19:52,838
keep it up.
514
00:19:52,873 --> 00:19:54,774
You guys'll be just fine.
515
00:19:54,808 --> 00:19:55,942
Thanks, Dad.
516
00:19:55,976 --> 00:19:57,243
And maybe you can teach me
517
00:19:57,277 --> 00:19:58,611
how to throw a rock sometime.
518
00:19:58,645 --> 00:20:00,646
It's too late for that, friend.
519
00:20:04,084 --> 00:20:05,751
Oh, I didn't know other people
520
00:20:05,786 --> 00:20:07,386
used this thing
on the weekends.
521
00:20:07,421 --> 00:20:08,921
You guys can stay,
522
00:20:08,956 --> 00:20:10,957
but it's gonna
get really weird.
523
00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:14,193
Darling, hold off.
524
00:20:14,227 --> 00:20:16,896
They don't know if
they're staying yet.
525
00:20:19,433 --> 00:20:21,300
So then Dad nails
the Hitler fetus
526
00:20:21,335 --> 00:20:23,836
right in the head and the
whole thing explodes!
527
00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:25,004
Wow!
528
00:20:25,038 --> 00:20:26,572
Klaus, that makes your story
529
00:20:26,607 --> 00:20:28,207
about thinking someone
might've come to the door
530
00:20:28,241 --> 00:20:30,309
around 3:30
really boring.
531
00:20:30,344 --> 00:20:31,744
Maybe I told it wrong.
532
00:20:31,778 --> 00:20:33,079
It was crazy!
533
00:20:33,113 --> 00:20:35,181
Mom, dinner is
delicious tonight.
534
00:20:35,215 --> 00:20:36,449
Oh, Roger made it.
535
00:20:36,483 --> 00:20:37,650
Is it lamb?
536
00:20:37,684 --> 00:20:40,052
Similar to lamb.
537
00:20:40,087 --> 00:20:43,656
Oh... my... God!
538
00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:47,237
ANNOUNCER: American Dad!
remembers Mutumbo the goat.
539
00:20:47,357 --> 00:20:57,997
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com