1
00:00:01,698 --> 00:00:02,828
Stop moving,
2
00:00:02,829 --> 00:00:04,546
or you're gonna ruin your mani-pedi.
3
00:00:05,787 --> 00:00:06,999
After this pedi,
4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,159
I'm gonna have to return my man-i card.
5
00:00:10,516 --> 00:00:11,899
You know, if you had a girlfriend,
6
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:14,419
you could do all this naily,
buffy, fluffy stuff with her.
7
00:00:14,836 --> 00:00:17,371
But you're the best kind
of girlfriend there is.
8
00:00:17,372 --> 00:00:18,690
You're not a girl.
9
00:00:20,173 --> 00:00:22,777
You know, women can be so gossipy.
10
00:00:23,186 --> 00:00:24,392
Oh my God, did I tell you what
11
00:00:24,393 --> 00:00:26,346
my boss, Ms. Jensen, said yesterday?
12
00:00:27,399 --> 00:00:29,469
Oh my God, what?
13
00:00:30,337 --> 00:00:32,535
She asked me to lunch.
14
00:00:32,536 --> 00:00:34,727
Which means she's gonna
ask me to the spa retreat,
15
00:00:34,728 --> 00:00:36,960
which leads to taking me under her wing,
16
00:00:36,961 --> 00:00:38,660
junior partner, partner,
17
00:00:38,661 --> 00:00:40,235
and one day, I'll be intimidating
18
00:00:40,236 --> 00:00:42,005
some poor girl over lunch.
19
00:00:43,405 --> 00:00:44,914
Ben: Come on, Tucker. Why not?
20
00:00:44,915 --> 00:00:46,350
Ohh! Here, take Emma.
21
00:00:46,351 --> 00:00:47,766
(Murmurs)
22
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:54,693
Give me one good reason why I
can't meet your new girlfriend.
23
00:00:54,694 --> 00:00:57,084
Ben, you asked my last girlfriend
24
00:00:57,085 --> 00:00:59,290
if she wanted to
play peek-a-boob.
25
00:01:02,042 --> 00:01:04,027
And then you told her I moved
26
00:01:04,028 --> 00:01:06,690
when you decided you
didn't like her anymore.
27
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,371
She was getting kind of clingy.
28
00:01:09,155 --> 00:01:10,754
Oh, Ben,
29
00:01:10,755 --> 00:01:13,474
a new girlfriend is like a gentle flower.
30
00:01:13,475 --> 00:01:15,547
She needs to be cared for and nurtured
31
00:01:15,548 --> 00:01:17,145
before she can blossom.
32
00:01:17,146 --> 00:01:20,253
And you, my friend, are
relationship weed killer.
33
00:01:21,522 --> 00:01:22,875
Oh!
34
00:01:25,465 --> 00:01:27,173
Hey, guys. What's going on?
35
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:28,709
(Chuckles)
36
00:01:28,710 --> 00:01:30,168
Hey man, you can put socks on all you want,
37
00:01:30,169 --> 00:01:32,004
I still know it's pink under there.
38
00:01:32,932 --> 00:01:35,769
Tucker won't introduce us to
his new girlfriend, Stephanie.
39
00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:37,850
Oh, I already met her. She's nice.
40
00:01:37,851 --> 00:01:39,935
Yeah, me too. Super cute.
41
00:01:39,936 --> 00:01:40,907
(Mouthing)
42
00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:42,879
Tucker!
43
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,499
Come on, man, I promise I'll be good.
44
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,016
I'll do anything. Name it.
45
00:01:46,017 --> 00:01:47,881
Breakfast, lunch, dinner, cocktails?
46
00:01:47,882 --> 00:01:49,283
Just say when and where.
47
00:01:49,811 --> 00:01:51,060
Fine.
48
00:01:51,061 --> 00:01:53,473
She's in a play tonight.
Why don't you come see it?
49
00:01:54,175 --> 00:01:55,411
Could she be in a movie?
50
00:01:55,412 --> 00:01:57,179
I like those way more.
51
00:01:58,131 --> 00:01:59,659
(Theme music playing)
52
00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:02,604
♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪
53
00:02:02,605 --> 00:02:05,821
♪ can take your life
and change direction. ♪
54
00:02:05,822 --> 00:02:09,240
Synced and corrected by Nantinha
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
55
00:02:09,732 --> 00:02:11,550
Ben: Well, I guess this could be fun.
56
00:02:11,551 --> 00:02:12,791
The last time I saw a play,
57
00:02:12,792 --> 00:02:15,897
you were prince charming and
Riley was tree number two.
58
00:02:16,316 --> 00:02:17,844
At least tonight mom
won't be in the audience
59
00:02:17,845 --> 00:02:19,496
trying to start the wave.
60
00:02:19,497 --> 00:02:20,551
(Laughs)
61
00:02:20,552 --> 00:02:21,498
Well, let's just try to remember
62
00:02:21,499 --> 00:02:23,248
we're here to support Tucker.
63
00:02:23,249 --> 00:02:24,571
(Cellphone buzzes)
64
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:26,602
(Beeps)
65
00:02:26,603 --> 00:02:28,467
Guess what? Tucker's stuck at work.
66
00:02:28,468 --> 00:02:29,712
He's not coming.
67
00:02:29,713 --> 00:02:31,104
Well, if I knew that, I wouldn't have spent
68
00:02:31,105 --> 00:02:33,235
20 bucks to show I was a caring friend.
69
00:02:34,413 --> 00:02:37,223
Oh, here she is. Stephanie Morris.
70
00:02:37,771 --> 00:02:39,585
She kind of looks familiar to me.
71
00:02:40,519 --> 00:02:41,953
That's her.
72
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,444
I just wish that I could place her.
73
00:02:46,073 --> 00:02:47,817
I...
74
00:02:47,818 --> 00:02:49,953
Release myself.
75
00:02:50,549 --> 00:02:52,164
And now I've placed her.
76
00:02:52,507 --> 00:02:54,392
Oh, this is not good.
77
00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:56,002
Really? I like it.
78
00:02:56,003 --> 00:02:57,875
Why don't we go to the theater more?
79
00:03:00,342 --> 00:03:02,000
How could you not remember dating her?
80
00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:03,366
I don't know. There's been like
81
00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:05,405
five or six Stephanies since then.
82
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,467
Look, if they want me to remember faces,
83
00:03:07,468 --> 00:03:09,813
they should put them closer
to the parts I'm looking at.
84
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,009
So have you told Tucker yet?
85
00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:13,354
Yeah, I was like "hey, bro,
86
00:03:13,355 --> 00:03:14,810
I dated Steph like three years ago.
87
00:03:14,811 --> 00:03:15,976
She totally hates me.
88
00:03:15,977 --> 00:03:17,403
Oh, and I saw her naked again."
89
00:03:17,404 --> 00:03:18,707
And then we hugged and he gave me
90
00:03:18,708 --> 00:03:20,090
a best friend trophy.
91
00:03:20,091 --> 00:03:22,475
Oh, good. I was afraid
that he was gonna be upset.
92
00:03:23,226 --> 00:03:24,700
No, I didn't tell him!
93
00:03:24,701 --> 00:03:25,870
If she finds out that I'm his roommate,
94
00:03:25,871 --> 00:03:27,306
she'll dump him in like two seconds.
95
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,384
What did you do to her?
96
00:03:28,385 --> 00:03:29,614
Look, she had a really hot sister
97
00:03:29,615 --> 00:03:30,932
and a nice car.
98
00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:32,503
It was a crime of opportunity.
99
00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:35,908
You're probably wondering why
I asked you to lunch today.
100
00:03:35,909 --> 00:03:37,548
You want to invite me
to super swanky spa day
101
00:03:37,549 --> 00:03:39,711
at three pines spa from
10:00 to 2:00 on Wednesday?
102
00:03:40,441 --> 00:03:41,988
That's just a guess.
103
00:03:42,459 --> 00:03:43,828
Oh, hey, Riles.
104
00:03:43,829 --> 00:03:46,535
Working through lunch by
not being at work again?
105
00:03:46,536 --> 00:03:47,555
Mrs. Wheeler,
106
00:03:47,556 --> 00:03:50,169
you remember Ms. Jensen, my boss.
107
00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:51,703
As I recall, last time I saw you,
108
00:03:51,704 --> 00:03:53,264
you were threatening to sue me.
109
00:03:53,653 --> 00:03:55,882
Well, don't you have a terrific memory.
110
00:03:55,883 --> 00:03:57,500
What do you say we try to lose it, huh?
111
00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:58,617
Drinks on me.
112
00:03:58,618 --> 00:04:00,276
So what do lawyers drink?
113
00:04:00,277 --> 00:04:02,865
Scotch with an "ambulance" chaser?
114
00:04:02,866 --> 00:04:04,003
(Laughs)
115
00:04:04,587 --> 00:04:06,472
I won't "object" to that.
116
00:04:06,473 --> 00:04:07,672
Oh. (Chuckles)
117
00:04:07,673 --> 00:04:08,948
You care to join us?
118
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,823
No no no, she is far too busy.
119
00:04:10,824 --> 00:04:12,289
Oh, no, I'm not.
120
00:04:12,896 --> 00:04:15,110
Oh. Your daughter is adorable.
121
00:04:15,111 --> 00:04:16,382
Oh, thanks, thanks.
122
00:04:16,383 --> 00:04:17,645
But she's not mine.
123
00:04:17,646 --> 00:04:20,131
My son knocked up some girl he barely knew.
124
00:04:20,132 --> 00:04:21,763
He's thoughtful like that.
125
00:04:22,257 --> 00:04:24,186
That's exactly how I got my grandson.
126
00:04:24,187 --> 00:04:27,531
Honey, we are far too young
and pretty to be grandmas.
127
00:04:27,532 --> 00:04:28,901
Okay, you are telling me.
128
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,856
- Come on, hello.
- Look at that, yeah.
129
00:04:30,857 --> 00:04:33,935
This is fun. Thank you so much
for stopping by,
130
00:04:33,936 --> 00:04:36,650
but Ms. Jensen and I have some
important business to handle.
131
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,869
No, we don't.
132
00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:39,950
Oh, but I forgot to mention
133
00:04:39,951 --> 00:04:41,960
all the guests get to bring a plus one.
134
00:04:41,961 --> 00:04:44,372
I don't trust a woman who
doesn't have any girlfriends.
135
00:04:44,841 --> 00:04:47,576
That's great, 'cause I have oodles.
136
00:04:47,985 --> 00:04:49,342
Really?
137
00:04:49,343 --> 00:04:50,844
Name one oodle.
138
00:04:51,568 --> 00:04:53,562
Well, you-dle.
139
00:04:55,076 --> 00:04:57,278
Perfect. Then you can bring her to spa day.
140
00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:58,936
(Gasps) Ooh, spa day.
141
00:04:58,937 --> 00:05:00,627
Oh, I love a good massage.
142
00:05:00,628 --> 00:05:02,090
Swedish, thai,
143
00:05:02,091 --> 00:05:03,785
hands of some young guy.
144
00:05:03,786 --> 00:05:04,976
(Both chuckle)
145
00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:06,948
I just need to avoid her
146
00:05:06,949 --> 00:05:08,439
until the relationship runs its course.
147
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,004
I give it like two weeks Max.
148
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:11,266
It's not gonna be a problem.
149
00:05:11,968 --> 00:05:13,265
It's a problem.
150
00:05:13,828 --> 00:05:16,734
- Hey, what's up, Danny?
- Tucker, Stephanie, hi.
151
00:05:16,735 --> 00:05:18,834
I almost didn't recognize
you with your clothes on.
152
00:05:20,082 --> 00:05:21,988
What are you talking about?
What is he talking about?
153
00:05:22,886 --> 00:05:24,231
Oh, her play.
154
00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:26,961
The informatively titled "the naked girl."
155
00:05:26,962 --> 00:05:28,733
I thought that was a metaphor.
156
00:05:29,666 --> 00:05:30,963
Didn't I mention that?
157
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,910
No. No no no. I think
I would have remembered.
158
00:05:32,911 --> 00:05:34,764
Yeah. I think I would have
invited a very different
159
00:05:34,765 --> 00:05:36,555
group of people to see it.
160
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,272
Riley: I can't believe I
have to take your mother
161
00:05:41,273 --> 00:05:42,426
as a plus one.
162
00:05:42,427 --> 00:05:45,334
I mean, I could have scrounged
up a girlfriend if I had to.
163
00:05:45,335 --> 00:05:47,596
(Sighs) What if she embarrasses me?
164
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,920
Then the world is a fair place.
165
00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:53,593
Stephanie?
166
00:05:53,594 --> 00:05:54,946
Danny, hi.
167
00:05:54,947 --> 00:05:56,697
I seem to keep running into you everywhere.
168
00:05:56,698 --> 00:05:57,843
Stephanie?
169
00:05:57,844 --> 00:05:59,031
Oh, hi.
170
00:05:59,032 --> 00:06:00,813
You can have my room in like two minutes.
171
00:06:00,814 --> 00:06:03,295
Or here's a crazy idea
172
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,906
maybe you two gal pals could
try on clothes together.
173
00:06:06,683 --> 00:06:07,848
Why would we do that?
174
00:06:07,849 --> 00:06:09,607
Because it's what girlfriends do.
175
00:06:09,608 --> 00:06:11,421
(Whispers) Oh, right. Thank you.
176
00:06:11,422 --> 00:06:13,504
Um, of course. Of course they do.
177
00:06:13,505 --> 00:06:15,850
I mean, 'cause at least that's what I do
178
00:06:15,851 --> 00:06:17,133
with all my girlfriends.
179
00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:18,371
So Steph, come on in.
180
00:06:18,372 --> 00:06:19,813
Let's bond.
181
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:20,927
Oh, here, will you hold this?
182
00:06:20,928 --> 00:06:22,105
Sure.
183
00:06:23,515 --> 00:06:25,872
Stephanie: Oh my God, I love your bra.
184
00:06:25,873 --> 00:06:28,729
Riley: Oh, thanks. That cami is so adorbs.
185
00:06:34,787 --> 00:06:36,449
(Explosions from TV)
186
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:38,224
Hey, is the coast clear?
187
00:06:38,225 --> 00:06:40,210
We are a female free zone.
188
00:06:40,211 --> 00:06:42,988
Just me and my very manly
explosion-filled movie.
189
00:06:42,989 --> 00:06:45,718
Testosterone! Back on the rise.
190
00:06:46,505 --> 00:06:47,506
Hey, what's up, Ben?
191
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,524
Tucker, hey.
192
00:06:48,525 --> 00:06:50,313
I heard you and Stephanie came by the bar.
193
00:06:50,314 --> 00:06:52,216
Isn't it weird we keep missing each other?
194
00:06:52,217 --> 00:06:54,553
Yeah, well, she will be here any minute,
195
00:06:54,554 --> 00:06:58,128
so get all your ha-has about
seeing her hoo-ha out now.
196
00:06:58,995 --> 00:07:00,679
She's coming here now?
197
00:07:01,149 --> 00:07:03,061
We are not ready for company.
198
00:07:03,062 --> 00:07:05,265
This place is a pigsty. Tell him, Danny.
199
00:07:05,266 --> 00:07:06,418
Yes.
200
00:07:06,419 --> 00:07:08,184
Quite frankly, I'm embarrassed.
201
00:07:09,706 --> 00:07:11,337
- Knock-knock.
- Oh!
202
00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:12,676
Hi, baby.
203
00:07:12,677 --> 00:07:14,402
We had the best time.
204
00:07:14,403 --> 00:07:16,652
Yeah, it's amazing what
you find out about a girl
205
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,804
when you're both naked in a confined space.
206
00:07:20,249 --> 00:07:21,915
Am I the only person in New York
207
00:07:21,916 --> 00:07:23,485
who hasn't seen you naked?
208
00:07:25,276 --> 00:07:26,920
(Door slams)
209
00:07:26,921 --> 00:07:28,361
Ben?
210
00:07:29,047 --> 00:07:30,393
Ben, what are you doing?
211
00:07:30,394 --> 00:07:31,529
Steph's here.
212
00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:32,795
Ben: Uh, sorry, man. I'm sleeping.
213
00:07:32,796 --> 00:07:34,278
Come back later.
214
00:07:34,729 --> 00:07:37,557
Hey, guess what? I asked Steph
to be my plus one to spa day
215
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,160
and she said yes.
216
00:07:39,161 --> 00:07:41,588
I have a girlfriend. (Chuckles)
217
00:07:42,352 --> 00:07:43,431
Come on, man.
218
00:07:43,432 --> 00:07:44,795
You're the one who wanted to meet her.
219
00:07:52,376 --> 00:07:53,637
Do I want to know?
220
00:07:53,638 --> 00:07:55,009
Probably not.
221
00:07:58,314 --> 00:07:59,663
(Elevator dings)
222
00:08:02,728 --> 00:08:04,267
(Grunts)
223
00:08:04,268 --> 00:08:05,528
(Sighs) Sadly, Emma,
224
00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:06,875
this won't be the last
time you find your father
225
00:08:06,876 --> 00:08:08,114
face down on the ground.
226
00:08:09,293 --> 00:08:10,094
Hey, mom.
227
00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:11,665
Hi, Emma.
228
00:08:11,666 --> 00:08:12,937
Daddy was just
playing hide-and-seek
229
00:08:12,938 --> 00:08:14,284
with Tucker's girlfriend.
230
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:15,726
Don't tell her where I am.
231
00:08:16,699 --> 00:08:18,766
Ooh, fun, huh?
232
00:08:18,767 --> 00:08:20,306
So what were you really doing?
233
00:08:20,307 --> 00:08:22,415
Stephanie's in there and I have
to get out of here before...
234
00:08:22,416 --> 00:08:24,247
Okay, I'll meet you in 20 minutes.
235
00:08:24,248 --> 00:08:25,723
That happens.
236
00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:29,508
Hey, Stephanie.
237
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,852
- Hi.
- It's me.
238
00:08:31,853 --> 00:08:34,061
Ben. Hi.
239
00:08:34,062 --> 00:08:35,690
Hi, Ben. It's nice to meet you.
240
00:08:35,691 --> 00:08:37,161
I'm Steph.
241
00:08:37,162 --> 00:08:39,653
Nice to meet me? Stephanie, it's me, Ben.
242
00:08:39,654 --> 00:08:42,102
And again, it's nice to meet you.
243
00:08:42,416 --> 00:08:43,567
Wow.
244
00:08:43,568 --> 00:08:45,129
Take away your cellphones, and you kids
245
00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:46,847
don't know how to talk to each other.
246
00:08:46,848 --> 00:08:48,782
Ben, Steph, Steph, Ben. You good?
247
00:08:48,783 --> 00:08:50,105
I know I am.
248
00:08:50,106 --> 00:08:51,612
See you around.
249
00:08:51,613 --> 00:08:53,090
(Chuckles)
250
00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:55,650
It's nice to meet me?
251
00:08:55,651 --> 00:08:58,474
Oh, it is nice to meet you, Ben.
252
00:08:58,475 --> 00:09:00,513
It's when people actually get to know you
253
00:09:00,514 --> 00:09:02,079
you run into problems.
254
00:09:02,549 --> 00:09:05,617
I believe this is yours.
255
00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:10,511
Oh my God, Riley,
256
00:09:10,512 --> 00:09:12,475
I am so excited for spa day.
257
00:09:12,476 --> 00:09:14,119
I even bought new flip-flops.
258
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,089
Well, actually, I stole
them from my last spa day.
259
00:09:18,273 --> 00:09:19,346
But don't worry,
260
00:09:19,347 --> 00:09:20,613
I won't do it again.
261
00:09:20,614 --> 00:09:22,025
I need towels now.
262
00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:24,943
Mrs. Wheeler, bad news.
263
00:09:25,294 --> 00:09:27,607
The spa burned down.
264
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:28,904
What?!
265
00:09:28,905 --> 00:09:31,072
I know. Someone left the sauna on.
266
00:09:31,073 --> 00:09:32,565
So...
267
00:09:32,566 --> 00:09:34,744
I'll just let you know when we reschedule.
268
00:09:34,745 --> 00:09:35,781
Oh...
269
00:09:35,782 --> 00:09:37,614
But I just got waxed.
270
00:09:38,993 --> 00:09:41,731
You know, you gotta straighten
up before the cleaning lady comes.
271
00:09:43,637 --> 00:09:44,522
Oh.
272
00:09:44,956 --> 00:09:46,856
Hey, Riles, thank you so much
273
00:09:46,857 --> 00:09:48,886
for inviting Steph to spa day.
274
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,039
You are a really good friend.
275
00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:53,398
Bye now.
276
00:10:00,272 --> 00:10:02,160
Liar, liar!
277
00:10:03,441 --> 00:10:06,868
It seems the spa is not on fire!
278
00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:08,469
Mrs. Wheeler.
279
00:10:08,470 --> 00:10:10,288
Mrs. Wheeler, I'm sorry, I just...
280
00:10:10,289 --> 00:10:12,429
I wanted to bring a real girlfriend.
281
00:10:12,430 --> 00:10:14,291
You know, one who hasn't given birth
282
00:10:14,292 --> 00:10:15,422
- to my friends.
- (Scoffs)
283
00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:19,833
Or maybe you think I'll be loud and crass
284
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,805
and tell stories about how you used to be
285
00:10:21,806 --> 00:10:23,183
a chubby little
know-it-all,
286
00:10:23,184 --> 00:10:25,221
and then failed the bar three times.
287
00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:28,029
Yeah. That's pretty much it.
288
00:10:29,022 --> 00:10:30,319
And to think...
289
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,991
I stole you an eye mask.
290
00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:42,085
Her last words to me were
"I will get even with you."
291
00:10:42,086 --> 00:10:44,383
There's no way that
Stephanie didn't recognize me.
292
00:10:44,384 --> 00:10:45,954
Maybe you weren't as big a deal to her
293
00:10:45,955 --> 00:10:47,283
as you thought you were.
294
00:10:47,999 --> 00:10:50,217
Oh, trust me, I was a big deal.
295
00:10:50,218 --> 00:10:52,402
That was the year I had
that awesome faux-hawk.
296
00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,274
Well, this is a little awkward.
297
00:10:58,275 --> 00:10:59,396
(Chuckles)
298
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,048
Any chance you guys would
believe I wore this outfit
299
00:11:01,049 --> 00:11:02,210
two days in a row?
300
00:11:02,916 --> 00:11:04,245
Hi, Stephanie.
301
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:05,366
Ben.
302
00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:06,432
Hey, how's it going?
303
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,588
Didn't know you spent the night.
304
00:11:07,589 --> 00:11:09,959
Yeah, well, that Tucker
can be very persuasive.
305
00:11:10,574 --> 00:11:12,685
So persuasive I'm actually
late to meet Riley.
306
00:11:12,686 --> 00:11:13,795
I'll see you.
307
00:11:16,598 --> 00:11:18,198
Oh my God.
308
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,001
Can you not see it? She's a monster.
309
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,711
Of all the guys in New York,
310
00:11:22,712 --> 00:11:24,015
she's dating my roommate?
311
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,549
And after two days, she's
best friends with Riley?
312
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:28,741
Coincidence? I don't think so.
313
00:11:28,742 --> 00:11:30,790
So you really think she's doing all of this
314
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,348
just to get even with you?
315
00:11:32,349 --> 00:11:33,957
Hey, I make women do things.
316
00:11:35,812 --> 00:11:37,285
Not always good things,
317
00:11:38,686 --> 00:11:40,039
but things.
318
00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:46,145
Hold the door.
319
00:11:47,152 --> 00:11:48,374
How's it going?
320
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,501
Oh, you know how it's going.
321
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,985
It's just you and me now, Steph.
322
00:11:51,986 --> 00:11:53,468
You can quit pretending.
323
00:11:53,469 --> 00:11:55,209
Should I pretend that I have any idea
324
00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:56,476
what you're talking about?
325
00:11:56,477 --> 00:11:58,095
Oh, okay. Fine.
326
00:11:58,096 --> 00:11:59,624
Maybe one of these catchy little phrases
327
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:00,833
will jog your memory.
328
00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:01,970
"Get off my couch!
329
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,172
Get off my property!"
330
00:12:03,173 --> 00:12:04,434
Or my personal favorite,
331
00:12:04,435 --> 00:12:05,825
"get off my sister!"
332
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:08,911
Oh my God.
333
00:12:08,912 --> 00:12:11,053
You are still such a self-centered jerk.
334
00:12:11,054 --> 00:12:12,907
Ah-ha! You do remember me.
335
00:12:12,908 --> 00:12:14,093
I knew it.
336
00:12:14,094 --> 00:12:15,911
Yes, Ben. I remember you.
337
00:12:15,912 --> 00:12:18,014
I think I actually paid for that t-shirt.
338
00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,472
Well, I'm not gonna let you get back at me
339
00:12:21,473 --> 00:12:22,781
by using Tucker.
340
00:12:22,782 --> 00:12:24,506
How am I using Tucker?
341
00:12:24,507 --> 00:12:25,839
I never would have gone out with him
342
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,547
if I knew he was your roommate.
343
00:12:27,548 --> 00:12:28,628
But there you were,
344
00:12:28,629 --> 00:12:29,949
so I thought we could both be cool
345
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,058
and pretend we never happened.
346
00:12:32,059 --> 00:12:34,062
Oh, is that what we're doing?
347
00:12:35,103 --> 00:12:37,548
You know what? I can't do this.
348
00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:39,673
I can't come over here
349
00:12:39,674 --> 00:12:40,860
and worry about running into you
350
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,665
every time I want to see Tucker.
351
00:12:42,666 --> 00:12:44,416
What are you saying?
352
00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:46,606
- (Elevator dings)
- I have to break up with him.
353
00:12:46,607 --> 00:12:48,983
Feel free to tell him why.
354
00:12:51,279 --> 00:12:54,252
Would you change your mind if
I paid you back for the t-shirt?
355
00:12:58,173 --> 00:13:01,598
So remember, ladies.
Today is all about fun.
356
00:13:01,599 --> 00:13:04,005
Not as much fun as suing people.
357
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,468
(Chuckles)
358
00:13:05,469 --> 00:13:07,227
But if someone were to slip and fall,
359
00:13:07,228 --> 00:13:09,357
maybe we can kill two birds with one stone.
360
00:13:10,849 --> 00:13:12,053
Go enjoy.
361
00:13:12,613 --> 00:13:14,338
Ms. Jensen, hi.
362
00:13:14,339 --> 00:13:16,031
I just wanted to
introduce you to Stephanie,
363
00:13:16,032 --> 00:13:19,182
my plus one, gal pal, confidante.
364
00:13:19,183 --> 00:13:21,042
Because you know, if I'm anything,
365
00:13:21,043 --> 00:13:23,910
it's a girl who loves girls.
366
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,263
As friends.
367
00:13:28,003 --> 00:13:29,043
(Chuckles)
368
00:13:29,044 --> 00:13:31,249
Well, sorry to hear about
your little scheduling snafu.
369
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:32,343
Bonnie called and told me.
370
00:13:32,690 --> 00:13:34,203
Bonnie called you?
371
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:36,282
Yeah. She said you'd forgotten
372
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,735
you already had plans with Stephanie.
373
00:13:37,736 --> 00:13:39,712
Oh, she couldn't have
been more lovely about it.
374
00:13:39,713 --> 00:13:41,388
Really? I'm sorry.
375
00:13:41,389 --> 00:13:43,889
We're talking about Bonnie Wheeler, right?
376
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,711
Yep!
377
00:13:48,898 --> 00:13:50,492
Hey, Maggie-mae.
378
00:13:50,493 --> 00:13:52,443
You ready to get our rub on?
379
00:13:53,096 --> 00:13:55,587
Whoa, this place is on fire,
380
00:13:55,588 --> 00:13:57,806
isn't it, Riley, huh?
381
00:13:58,219 --> 00:14:01,081
Oh, she's my plus one.
382
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,580
All you had to do was
just keep your mouth shut.
383
00:14:04,581 --> 00:14:06,075
Why couldn't you just leave it alone?
384
00:14:06,076 --> 00:14:08,078
Well, if I knew that, I
would have left it alone.
385
00:14:09,476 --> 00:14:11,264
I just got a text from Stephanie.
386
00:14:11,265 --> 00:14:13,062
I think she's gonna break up with me.
387
00:14:13,063 --> 00:14:15,092
What? Why would she do that?
388
00:14:15,925 --> 00:14:17,917
You don't know why she
would do that, do you?
389
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:19,760
No, I don't know.
390
00:14:19,761 --> 00:14:21,808
I mean, we just had our first sleepover.
391
00:14:22,288 --> 00:14:23,778
Ohh.
392
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,204
That's probably it.
393
00:14:29,041 --> 00:14:30,871
Look, man, she just said
she needs to talk to me
394
00:14:30,872 --> 00:14:32,741
as soon as she gets home from the spa.
395
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,655
You know what? I'm
gonna call her right now.
396
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,012
No no no no, you can't call her.
397
00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,589
This isn't the kind of thing
you want to do over the phone.
398
00:14:39,366 --> 00:14:40,921
Yeah, you're right.
I'm gonna go down there,
399
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,409
and I'm gonna make her
talk to me face-to-face.
400
00:14:42,410 --> 00:14:43,511
Wait, now?
401
00:14:43,829 --> 00:14:46,046
No no no. You can't go down there now.
402
00:14:46,047 --> 00:14:48,120
- Why not?
- Because...
403
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,497
Because you need to figure
out what you're gonna say.
404
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:51,678
You need to lay out your arguments
405
00:14:51,679 --> 00:14:54,185
and convince her she's making
the biggest mistake of her life.
406
00:14:54,669 --> 00:14:55,868
Yeah.
407
00:14:58,162 --> 00:14:59,872
Yeah, you're right, Danny. Thanks.
408
00:15:00,295 --> 00:15:01,369
All right, Stephanie,
409
00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:05,295
here's five reasons why you
should not break up with me.
410
00:15:06,498 --> 00:15:08,729
Number one, I'm a catch.
411
00:15:09,890 --> 00:15:11,009
And number two,
412
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,537
I make good lists.
413
00:15:14,961 --> 00:15:16,531
Okay, perfect. Now we just
need to convince Stephanie
414
00:15:16,532 --> 00:15:18,404
not to break up with Tucker
before he finishes that list.
415
00:15:18,405 --> 00:15:19,675
Go go go go go.
416
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,153
This is lovely, Marge.
417
00:15:24,154 --> 00:15:27,283
And I have to say, my first group massage.
418
00:15:28,253 --> 00:15:30,723
Well, at a spa.
419
00:15:32,448 --> 00:15:33,802
(Russian accent) You two,
420
00:15:33,803 --> 00:15:36,810
less talk, more relax!
421
00:15:38,329 --> 00:15:39,599
Yeah, this is us.
422
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:40,920
Oh, I am so sorry, ladies.
423
00:15:40,921 --> 00:15:42,677
There's been some sort
of scheduling mix-up.
424
00:15:42,678 --> 00:15:45,105
I have pictures of you at
the Christmas party. Get out.
425
00:15:47,587 --> 00:15:49,047
- Thank you.
- You're tiny.
426
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:51,132
I will try not to break you.
427
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,047
Ooh, slow jams.
428
00:15:55,048 --> 00:15:58,190
♪ Uhh, uhh, forever
429
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,488
♪ yeah.
430
00:15:59,489 --> 00:16:01,158
- Shh!
- (Grunts)
431
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:04,848
Why couldn't you have just stayed home?
432
00:16:04,849 --> 00:16:06,505
And why couldn't you have invited me
433
00:16:06,506 --> 00:16:07,789
as your plus one?
434
00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:09,882
Oh, I guess we all have questions.
435
00:16:10,979 --> 00:16:12,363
But this is important to me.
436
00:16:12,364 --> 00:16:14,604
I have to make partner by 30.
437
00:16:14,605 --> 00:16:16,256
It's on my vision board.
438
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:20,283
Stephanie?
439
00:16:20,284 --> 00:16:21,810
Who you? Where is Victor?
440
00:16:21,811 --> 00:16:23,672
Oh, uh, Victor is sick.
441
00:16:23,673 --> 00:16:25,901
(Sighs) Victor is always sick.
442
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,208
Shoes off, this on, let's go.
443
00:16:28,209 --> 00:16:29,330
You know...
444
00:16:29,331 --> 00:16:30,479
I was just hoping I could...
445
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,520
shut, you go.
446
00:16:31,521 --> 00:16:32,793
- Is there any chance...
- No, you go.
447
00:16:32,794 --> 00:16:34,280
- No, but I have to just talk to the girl...
- This one!
448
00:16:34,281 --> 00:16:35,764
- Okay, relax.
- Go! Come on.
449
00:16:35,765 --> 00:16:37,851
Less talk, more work. More work.
450
00:16:37,852 --> 00:16:39,684
Go.
451
00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:44,341
Hey.
452
00:16:44,342 --> 00:16:46,812
Those muscles aren't
gonna massage themselves.
453
00:16:46,813 --> 00:16:49,157
Now get up in there and
start moving stuff around.
454
00:16:50,204 --> 00:16:51,329
Go.
455
00:16:51,641 --> 00:16:52,746
Hey there.
456
00:16:52,747 --> 00:16:55,148
Can you tell me what time
Stephanie Morris will be done?
457
00:16:59,696 --> 00:17:01,633
Completely unrelated...
458
00:17:02,487 --> 00:17:06,201
If we were dating, would
you break up with me?
459
00:17:10,781 --> 00:17:13,175
Oh yeah. Oh, that's it.
460
00:17:13,176 --> 00:17:14,290
Oh!
461
00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:16,125
Get up in there!
462
00:17:16,126 --> 00:17:17,334
Ben!
463
00:17:17,335 --> 00:17:19,354
What is taking so long? Tucker is here.
464
00:17:19,355 --> 00:17:21,085
Who are you? Where's Dimitri?
465
00:17:21,086 --> 00:17:22,969
Oh, uh, Dimitri is sick too.
466
00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:24,471
Men, useless.
467
00:17:24,472 --> 00:17:26,106
One little sniffle,
468
00:17:26,107 --> 00:17:28,213
and oh, you think you are die.
469
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,303
Shoes off.
470
00:17:30,304 --> 00:17:31,862
Um, I really don't think...
471
00:17:31,863 --> 00:17:34,243
no, shut face. Move, go. Go.
472
00:17:34,244 --> 00:17:35,830
Yes. Go.
473
00:17:35,831 --> 00:17:37,540
You take loud blonde lady.
474
00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:38,626
Go go go go.
475
00:17:38,627 --> 00:17:39,902
- Ben?
- Just do it.
476
00:17:39,903 --> 00:17:41,250
But I thought you just
wanted to talk to Steph.
477
00:17:41,251 --> 00:17:43,173
Less talk, more work. Go!
478
00:17:45,026 --> 00:17:47,678
Hey! Pokey-hontas.
479
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,040
How about we use all 10 little Indians,
480
00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:53,043
all right? Put your back into it.
481
00:17:54,847 --> 00:17:56,966
Hey, what's going on up there?
482
00:17:56,967 --> 00:18:00,405
You got me saddled up, but we
don't seem to be leaving the stable.
483
00:18:02,555 --> 00:18:05,833
You two, lady-fingered girly hands,
484
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,427
take stick and bird. Go.
485
00:18:10,896 --> 00:18:12,746
- (Grunts)
- Oh yeah.
486
00:18:12,747 --> 00:18:14,337
All right, there it is.
487
00:18:16,355 --> 00:18:18,095
Hey, Steph, can we talk?
488
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,977
What are you doing here?
489
00:18:23,277 --> 00:18:24,611
(Gasps) Danny?
490
00:18:24,612 --> 00:18:27,198
What are you doing and
why are you massaging me?
491
00:18:27,646 --> 00:18:31,165
Well... They put me on my mom,
and that was just wrong.
492
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,333
What's going on?
493
00:18:34,334 --> 00:18:35,709
I don't know what's going on,
494
00:18:35,710 --> 00:18:37,068
but I'm leaving.
495
00:18:38,138 --> 00:18:39,444
Oh, hey, Steph.
496
00:18:39,983 --> 00:18:41,270
Ben?
497
00:18:41,271 --> 00:18:43,690
Hey, Tuck. Look who I found.
498
00:18:43,691 --> 00:18:45,676
I just felt so bad that
we never met before.
499
00:18:45,677 --> 00:18:47,752
It's very nice to meet you, Stephanie.
500
00:18:48,471 --> 00:18:50,362
Well, too bad I can't say the same.
501
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,924
Ooh, massage and a show.
502
00:18:53,863 --> 00:18:55,484
Girl, get up.
503
00:18:55,485 --> 00:18:56,906
You're missing a good one.
504
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,598
Wait, do you two know each other?
505
00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:00,819
Yeah.
506
00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:03,611
Yeah, we do. We dated like three years ago.
507
00:19:03,612 --> 00:19:05,932
And are you why she
wants to break up with me?
508
00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,742
Yes. Yes, I am.
509
00:19:09,624 --> 00:19:12,476
I am so sorry about this.
510
00:19:12,477 --> 00:19:14,688
What does this have to do with you?
511
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:17,028
Absolutely nothing.
512
00:19:18,568 --> 00:19:20,107
Stephanie, you're not dating me.
513
00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:21,552
You're dating Tucker.
514
00:19:21,553 --> 00:19:23,921
And Tucker's a really wonderful guy.
515
00:19:23,922 --> 00:19:27,244
So please, don't let your
future be dictated by our past.
516
00:19:28,399 --> 00:19:30,188
I just came up with that.
517
00:19:31,035 --> 00:19:32,499
Ben, if I had to stay away from
518
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,393
every girl you've ever offended,
519
00:19:34,394 --> 00:19:36,225
I would never have a date in this city.
520
00:19:37,787 --> 00:19:38,910
Steph...
521
00:19:39,322 --> 00:19:41,029
I am perfectly capable
522
00:19:41,030 --> 00:19:42,700
of screwing up a relationship
523
00:19:42,701 --> 00:19:44,097
all on my own.
524
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:48,727
And I would really like to
screw this one up with you.
525
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,087
And if that's not a good enough reason,
526
00:19:52,088 --> 00:19:54,655
I got like five more just ready to go.
527
00:19:55,626 --> 00:19:57,399
I don't think I need to hear them.
528
00:19:57,715 --> 00:20:00,270
So you're not gonna break up with Tucker?
529
00:20:00,271 --> 00:20:01,610
No.
530
00:20:06,002 --> 00:20:07,422
Too bad.
531
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:09,095
If change mind,
532
00:20:09,984 --> 00:20:12,067
I take little one.
533
00:20:16,856 --> 00:20:18,629
I make him man.
534
00:20:19,981 --> 00:20:21,385
(Mouthing)
535
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,872
Well, if she's taking the little one,
536
00:20:23,329 --> 00:20:25,115
I'm gonna take the big one.
537
00:20:26,679 --> 00:20:28,669
Come on over here and take mama home.
538
00:20:30,899 --> 00:20:32,721
(Sighs) Oh my gosh,
539
00:20:32,722 --> 00:20:34,655
that felt so good.
540
00:20:34,656 --> 00:20:36,023
What did I miss?
541
00:20:36,024 --> 00:20:37,588
- Hey, mom.
- Oh God, Danny!
542
00:20:41,467 --> 00:20:43,123
Bonnie: No, Margie, I'm telling you
543
00:20:43,124 --> 00:20:46,862
nobody will work harder than
Riley to get that promotion.
544
00:20:46,863 --> 00:20:48,144
In fact,
545
00:20:48,502 --> 00:20:50,776
she's working right now.
546
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,168
All right, Peggy-sue.
547
00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:55,841
Yeah, I'll see you at brunch tomorrow.
548
00:20:55,842 --> 00:20:57,619
Bye-bye. (Cellphone beeps)
549
00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,510
Okay, all right. My toes are happy,
550
00:20:59,511 --> 00:21:01,389
but my glass isn't.
551
00:21:02,496 --> 00:21:04,348
Sorry, Mrs. Wheeler.
552
00:21:04,349 --> 00:21:07,127
Thank you for putting
in a good word for me.
553
00:21:07,128 --> 00:21:09,530
Yeah. Well, that's what friends are for.
554
00:21:10,594 --> 00:21:12,001
You know what?
555
00:21:12,002 --> 00:21:13,533
You were right.
556
00:21:13,534 --> 00:21:16,210
Let's go back to that other color.