1
00:00:02,509 --> 00:00:06,966
Goddamn it, Ray. Are you drunk?
2
00:00:07,086 --> 00:00:09,615
- No, dumbass, are you?
- No.
3
00:00:09,735 --> 00:00:12,637
- Although not for lack of trying.
- Exactly, that's my
4
00:00:12,771 --> 00:00:16,374
- whole point.
- Oh, how can you drink
5
00:00:16,509 --> 00:00:20,245
- rum with all this turbulence?
- Oh, my God! That's my whole point!
6
00:00:20,379 --> 00:00:24,315
Enough already! My God,
are you people paid by the word?
7
00:00:24,450 --> 00:00:28,353
It's bad enough I'm packed into this
flying boxcar with you...
8
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:32,257
...without all this incessant bickering.
It's like I'm stuck on a school
9
00:00:32,391 --> 00:00:36,761
bus with the worst driver on the planet!
10
00:00:36,896 --> 00:00:40,231
- What was that? - It is
kind of like a school bus.
11
00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:43,468
- When have you ever been on a bus?
- No, from the movies.
12
00:00:43,602 --> 00:00:46,771
We've got the whole Breakfast Club in here.
I'm Emilio Estevez.
13
00:00:46,906 --> 00:00:50,475
Cyril's obviously Anthony Michael Nerd.
Mother, you're Paul Gleason.
14
00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:55,580
Krieger's the loose cannon, Judd
Nelson, and Lana, you're... um...
15
00:00:55,714 --> 00:01:00,185
- Wait, seriously? Molly Ringwald.
- Eh...
16
00:01:00,319 --> 00:01:03,154
- Oh, my God. - What
the hell are you talking about?
17
00:01:03,289 --> 00:01:06,324
Mother, hush. Lana, come on, if any
of you ISIS women is Molly Ringwald...
18
00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:09,427
- It's obviously Cherlene.
- Totally.
19
00:01:09,562 --> 00:01:12,397
- What? - Yes, she's
the rich one, she's a redhead...
20
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,900
- So, what, you think I'm Ally Sheedy?
- Are you all just
21
00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:19,537
- saying random words? - Ally Sheedy
would've been way more likely to get
22
00:01:19,672 --> 00:01:22,540
- pregnant in high school.
- Had there been a sequel.
23
00:01:22,675 --> 00:01:25,343
- God forbid. - Right?
- And as for who's the
24
00:01:25,477 --> 00:01:28,880
- hot one... - Wait, what, of us?
I'm the hot one!
25
00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:32,283
- Eh... - Oh, my God.
- Oh, get over
26
00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:35,286
- yourself! - Shh!
Will you shut up?
27
00:01:35,421 --> 00:01:38,021
- Oh, please. She knows
we're in here. - She will if you
28
00:01:38,023 --> 00:01:41,192
- don't shut up.
- Pam, I know you're in there.
29
00:01:41,327 --> 00:01:45,964
No, we're not. But if we are, which
I don't admit to, which Breakfast
30
00:01:46,098 --> 00:01:50,335
- Clubber am I? - Hmm, I guess
the janitor everybody thinks is
31
00:01:50,469 --> 00:01:54,606
- gross but turns out to be cool. - Aw.
- I love
32
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:59,277
that you take that as a compliment.
33
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:35,335
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
34
00:02:38,507 --> 00:02:42,410
- So, can we get out of the crate now?
- No, but as it seems
35
00:02:42,544 --> 00:02:47,381
we've arrived at a pause in the idiocy, let's
recap the plan for when we land in San Marcos.
36
00:02:47,516 --> 00:02:51,219
Yeah, because I'm curious how we tell
Calderón we turned six million dollars'
37
00:02:51,353 --> 00:02:54,856
worth of cocaine into one million
dollars' worth of weapons.
38
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,892
That's the CIA's problem.
Calderón doesn't care.
39
00:02:58,026 --> 00:03:01,395
- It's all gravy to him. - Yeah, Lana.
I was actually wondering that
40
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:04,866
- myself. - All that matters
is that Calderón pays us for this
41
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,070
shipment. Then we use the profits to
buy more weapons, which we sell to
42
00:03:09,204 --> 00:03:13,274
him to make more profits to buy
more weapons. Blah, blah, blah.
43
00:03:13,408 --> 00:03:17,545
- Lana, for God's sakes,
it's Econ 101. - Cyril, don't be
44
00:03:17,679 --> 00:03:20,548
- shitty. - Yeah, Cyril!
- Tower
45
00:03:20,682 --> 00:03:24,285
to unidentified aircraft, you are now
entering restricted San Marcos airspace.
46
00:03:24,419 --> 00:03:28,156
- Identify yourself. - Uh, guys?
- Just tell them Slater
47
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,192
- sent us. - You think that's a
good idea, flying into a war zone,
48
00:03:31,326 --> 00:03:35,363
- telling them we're with the CIA?
- If Slater even was CIA.
49
00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:38,799
Now, he's the one who teabagged
you?
50
00:03:38,934 --> 00:03:41,802
- Beanbagged.
- Oh, whichever. - It's a fairly
51
00:03:41,937 --> 00:03:44,972
- important distinction. - Sorry,
can I be a nag for a second?
52
00:03:45,107 --> 00:03:48,075
Oh, my God, Lana, I've
had only, like, eight drinks.
53
00:03:48,210 --> 00:03:51,279
- Okay, not that, but wait, really?
- Yeah, I've totally
54
00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:55,483
cut back, and not that it's any of your
beeswax, but I've also cut back on... you know.
55
00:03:55,617 --> 00:04:00,221
On what? Sterling, with you,
that could almost literally be anything.
56
00:04:00,355 --> 00:04:03,558
- Anonymous sex, if you must know.
- Ew!
57
00:04:03,692 --> 00:04:06,360
- Beechcraft, please identify.
- Guys?
58
00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:09,363
- Really? - I've totally,
relatively cleaned up my act.
59
00:04:09,498 --> 00:04:13,367
So maybe keep that in mind when you're
choosing godparents.
60
00:04:13,502 --> 00:04:17,572
I will, Archer. I really will.
61
00:04:17,706 --> 00:04:20,241
- Beechcraft, identify. - Guys!
- Goddamn it, tell him
62
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:22,944
- Slater sent us. - Wait, wait,
wait, wait. - Tower, this is
63
00:04:23,078 --> 00:04:26,147
- Beechcraft. - Ray!
- Uh, Slater sent us?
64
00:04:26,281 --> 00:04:29,283
Beechcraft, you are clear for
65
00:04:29,418 --> 00:04:32,587
- landing. - Thank you
for hearing my concerns.
66
00:04:32,721 --> 00:04:36,857
Jesus, will you relax?
67
00:04:36,992 --> 00:04:40,194
What's the worst that
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00:04:40,329 --> 00:04:43,464
- could happen?
- Get on the ground!
69
00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:46,601
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
70
00:04:46,735 --> 00:04:49,971
Way
to go, Gilligan.
71
00:04:50,105 --> 00:04:54,609
- Silencio! Who is in charge here?
- Señor Presidente,
72
00:04:54,743 --> 00:04:57,878
- I...
- Not you, you baboon-faced baboon.
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00:04:58,013 --> 00:05:02,016
I am obviously talking to these gringos, and also,
if I am here, then you are obviously not in
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00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:05,286
- charge.
- I...
75
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:10,992
And to repeat,
76
00:05:11,126 --> 00:05:15,363
- who is in charge here? - That would
be... - Because they are to
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00:05:15,497 --> 00:05:18,866
- blame for this shipment of weapons being
late. - Her, that older woman
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00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:24,005
- down there with the more or less permanent
scowl. - Señor Presidente, it
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00:05:24,139 --> 00:05:29,010
- is such an honor to meet you. I'm
Malory Archer. - Wow.
80
00:05:29,144 --> 00:05:33,514
Well, thank you.
Anyhoo, hello?
81
00:05:33,649 --> 00:05:38,219
- So, the stories are true.
- What stories?
82
00:05:38,353 --> 00:05:41,355
I... no, not what, huh? Damn
it, man, I was sleepwalking.
83
00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:44,992
Eh?
Hey, what's
84
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:48,029
going on?
Maybe you're their god.
85
00:05:48,163 --> 00:05:50,998
Okay,
all but him, arrest.
86
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:54,435
Without
even checking the merchandise?
87
00:05:54,569 --> 00:05:58,572
Although not that particular
88
00:05:58,707 --> 00:06:02,343
merchandise.
89
00:06:09,685 --> 00:06:14,689
- Goddamn it! Who the hell drilled
my box?! - So, we're just done
90
00:06:14,823 --> 00:06:17,992
with phrasing, right? That's
not a thing anymore?
91
00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:20,995
- I know, right? - Cherlene.
- What?!
92
00:06:21,129 --> 00:06:23,664
Wait, what?!
Yeah, seriously, what?
93
00:06:23,799 --> 00:06:27,368
"Outlaw Country," "Hoochie Coochie
Coochie Man," "Travis County Limitado."
94
00:06:27,502 --> 00:06:31,572
I am... I am your biggest fan. Please,
we go to the presidential palace?
95
00:06:31,707 --> 00:06:34,709
- I'm fine, too, by the way.
- Oh, great.
96
00:06:34,843 --> 00:06:37,545
- That's good. - Please, come,
come. Come, come, come, come, come.
97
00:06:37,679 --> 00:06:40,481
- So, phrasing's just dead then?
- What is your...?
98
00:06:40,615 --> 00:06:43,617
Wait, are you drunk?
Please. Off 12 drinks?
99
00:06:43,752 --> 00:06:47,054
- Viva Cherlene! Viva Cherlene!
- Cherlene!
100
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:50,524
- Cherlene!
- Wait a minute, you said eight drinks!
101
00:06:50,659 --> 00:06:54,328
I lied.
I mean, yes, eight.
102
00:06:54,463 --> 00:06:56,897
Cherlene! Cherlene!
103
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:07,426
Holy dickballs!
I mean, I mean, I mean, just
104
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,429
- holy....
- Dickballs. Yes, Pam, I got it.
105
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:13,698
- Are you sure? The room is okay?
- Yeah, it's fine, whatever.
106
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:16,701
I-I cannot believe
it is actually you.
107
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:20,205
Here in my palace, I mean...
Yeah, it's blowing your mind, huh?
108
00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:24,209
- Boom! - Yeah.
Can I please bring you anything?
109
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:27,579
A freshly squeezed juice, a cocktail,
a sandwich of your own choosing?
110
00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:30,582
Don't you, like,
have a war to go to?
111
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:34,419
It's in the mountains far, far
away where we will crush the communist rebel
112
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:38,757
dogs! Especially now that we are
once again receiving weapons.
113
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:43,328
Yoo-hoo! And about that, I was
hoping that you and I could discuss
114
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,699
- our terms? - I... but Cherlene?
- Is exhausted.
115
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:52,637
- As is my drink.
- Why do we always have
116
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:57,175
- to share a room? - The sinister gay
cabal, Cyril, you have fallen victim to
117
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,545
- the sinister gay cabal. - Okay,
you know... - I don't know why we
118
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:05,250
- always get stuck together. But I kind of
don't mind it. - Hmm, actually I don't
119
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:10,455
- either, now that I think...
- Queer!
120
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:16,194
♪ Apache
121
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,598
Helicopters We should sell
those 'Cause I'm a ropper. ♪
122
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:23,301
Ropper...
Wow, that's awful.
123
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:26,771
But so far, being an international
arms dealer is not.
124
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:31,510
I could get extremely used to this.
Matt, Joel, hi, shut up.
125
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:34,679
Let's set up lunch with Adnan
Khashoggi, I...
126
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:39,384
Whoa, whoa, uh, uh, oh,
I ju... oh, ah, I just...
127
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:45,290
I... oh, got a, I got a... whoa,
ho, ho, ho, oh, ho, ho, oh, no!
128
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:55,700
- Uh, may I help you?
- I'm sorry to bother
129
00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:59,638
- you, sir. - No, no, you didn't,
aren't, or rather you couldn't,
130
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:04,743
or still haven't, I...
I thought you might need more towels.
131
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:09,848
Oh, uh, no. I-I think
I'm okay for right now.
132
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:13,418
Although that being
said, it's better to be safe than
133
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,556
sorry, at least with regards to towels.
134
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:22,327
But only towels.
Hey, are there more towels?
135
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:26,565
- Hey, are there more towels? Hey, are
there more...? - You realize this
136
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:29,601
- isn't a hotel, right? - And even if
it were, that is not how you'd go about
137
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:33,972
- getting towels! - Who are you,
Princess... hang on... Lana?
138
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:36,975
- Well played. - I've got crate lag.
- And where are you
139
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:39,978
- going with that? - Ice machine.
- Ooh, hey, I could use
140
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,981
- some ice. - Oh, and if you see
a housekeeping cart, can you grab
141
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:46,785
- me some towels? - Yep!
- You're not going to,
142
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,921
- are you? - Nope!
- Goddamn it.
143
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:53,858
Ha, hee, cold, cold, cold...
And there, but for the grace of...
144
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:58,496
- Hey, get me fizzy water!
- Thanks!
145
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:02,367
- I'm sorry? - Tanks?
- For?
146
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:07,005
Hmm. Hmm...
Maybe to start?
147
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:13,111
I... defer to you?
Then yes, I think to start.
148
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:16,581
Yes?
Oh.
149
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:21,720
Yes, please.
But soon I think more, no?
150
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:27,726
Well, I should hope so.
Or is that not...?
151
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,895
No, please, of course, I
am willing to do whatever it takes.
152
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:35,467
Anything.
Well, then that makes two of us.
153
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:41,773
- Wait, really? Anything?
- Yes?
154
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:47,045
- Gas? - I'm sorry?
- You have gas?
155
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:50,139
- Wha...? No! - Oh, my
God, oh, my God, oh, my God, sorry, I'm
156
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:53,018
- sorry, I'm sorry, I thought you...
- No! For the... No!
157
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:56,054
- I misunderstood. I apologize.
- And well you should!
158
00:10:56,188 --> 00:10:59,057
- And well I do! Please forgive me.
- I mean...
159
00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:02,394
- What a frickin' clip joint.
- No towels.
160
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:06,064
No ice machine.
No towel machine?!
161
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:09,100
Yeah, right?
What is this-- Escape Fro..?
162
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:12,103
- Wait, are we still in New York, or...?
- What?
163
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:15,840
- No, we're in Central America.
- Oh, my God!
164
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:19,711
- We did it! We're free!
- Do...?
165
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:23,048
Outlaw different
country woooooo!
166
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,952
- Sometimes I worry about her.
- Eh.
167
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:31,122
- Ooh, hang on, maybe this is it.
- I don't know.
168
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,526
- It looks kind of... - Ugh, Pam,
they can't leave valuable towels and ice
169
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:39,531
just lying around. Hotel
profit margins are very thin.
170
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:45,904
Oh, oh, oh...
171
00:11:56,916 --> 00:12:01,086
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Krieger? What'd you, see a ghost?
172
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,122
- Oh, my God, please say yes.
- All right, is
173
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:08,159
that happy hour I smell?
Yes, Mr. Archer. Please join us.
174
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:11,596
Your mother and I are drinking wine
that belonged to Benjamin Franklin.
175
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,100
- We are? - And discussing
a shipment of four American tanks.
176
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:19,237
- Oh, tanks! - Thanks.
Tanks? - We do tanks!
177
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:22,874
- We can do anything, as long as you're
willing to pay. - Me... me pay?
178
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,877
- Good, then it's settled.
- If you say so,
179
00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,913
- Mother. - No, no, no, I'm
sorry, I-I thought this was why
180
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:33,551
the CIA was buying my cocaine. To sell to the
American black people, to make the money to buy
181
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:37,088
- the weapons to give me to fight
the comunistas. - Exactly.
182
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:40,091
Wait, what? Why wouldn't they just...?
Sterling, shut up
183
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:43,261
- and let me handle this. Because the
problem, Gustavo... - Ooh.
184
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:46,297
- I'm sorry, may I call you Gustavo?
- No.
185
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:52,504
The problem, Señor Presidente,
the problem, you see, the problem is...
186
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:56,474
is the White House has lost faith
in your ability to win this war!
187
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,529
- Ooh. - And so, if you
want any more weapons, you'll have to
188
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,480
- pay for them in cash. - Ooh!
- Starting now.
189
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,550
- No, no, but I cannot afford
to do this! - Oh, please.
190
00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:08,953
Look at you, drinking Ben Franklin's
wine like it's Kool-Aid, surrounded by
191
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:13,625
- priceless art... Not this one obviously,
but... - Oh, no, this one
192
00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:16,795
- cost 40 millions. - What?!
- Yes, it is an Ivan
193
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:20,765
Blitko. So we have, in this area,
these very geometric shapes, in these
194
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:25,603
very bold colors here, and then the thick black
lines are coming here, always drawing the eye to
195
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:30,008
here, and then, over everything... just
white. Just layer after layer after
196
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:35,013
layer of pure white. Until you can
see nothing of the painting below.
197
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:38,883
- Not even with an infrared camera.
- So... what's the
198
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:43,321
- point? - The point? What
is the point of a beautiful
199
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:48,767
- woman? And speaking of!
- Hello, darling.
200
00:13:48,887 --> 00:13:53,498
My wife.
201
00:14:02,076 --> 00:14:06,646
- Sterling! Where are your manners?
- Probably in my room,
202
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,845
- so I should go there right now and
find them. - No, no, no, no,
203
00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:14,663
no, please stay. Mi amor, may I present to you
Sterling Archer, and also his charming mother Malory.
204
00:14:14,783 --> 00:14:18,242
- Juliana Calderón.
- A pleasure to meet you, Juliana.
205
00:14:18,362 --> 00:14:20,594
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, may I call you...
206
00:14:20,714 --> 00:14:23,646
No.
Uh, darling, how was your afternoon?
207
00:14:23,766 --> 00:14:26,606
- Exhausting.
- Mmm.
208
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:30,877
- So hot and sweaty. To
be honest, I'm... - Mmm.
209
00:14:31,011 --> 00:14:33,880
- really quite sore.
- You see?
210
00:14:34,014 --> 00:14:37,483
This is why I disapprove. Juliana sometimes
goes among the servants, pretending to be a
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00:14:37,618 --> 00:14:41,254
maid, or working in the laundry, even
one time helping to carry some rocks?
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00:14:41,388 --> 00:14:44,590
Oh, how...
Inspiring, really.
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00:14:44,725 --> 00:14:47,645
I was just showing them the Blitko.
Do you like what you
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00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:52,431
- see, Mr. Archer? - You know,
so much that... I-I'm gonna go write
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00:14:52,566 --> 00:14:59,272
about it in my art journal!
She is going to bring us some tanks, so that we
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00:14:59,406 --> 00:15:04,243
may crush the rebel dogs. Did
they tell you what is for dinner?
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00:15:04,378 --> 00:15:07,880
Clones?
Yes, clones! My God, it was like looking
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00:15:08,015 --> 00:15:11,817
in... several mirrors!
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man...
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00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:16,789
- Archer! - What?!
- Ow, ah, hang on...
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00:15:16,924 --> 00:15:20,393
- gotta stitch... oh... - Damn it, I
don't have time for... wait, Pam, did you
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00:15:20,527 --> 00:15:24,664
find an ice machine?
Huh-uh. Ow, hang on...
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00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,333
- Goddamn it... - Clones!
- What?
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00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:30,002
- Krieger says-- ow, hold on...
- Goddamn it!
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00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:33,239
- Krieger says he saw a bunch
of clones! - Of what?
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00:15:33,373 --> 00:15:35,841
- Of me! We're running to find them.
- Wait, what?
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00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:39,245
- I thought we were running away from them!
- Hang on, shut up,
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00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:43,482
hold that thought.
Guys, come on, let's go!
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00:15:43,617 --> 00:15:46,319
- Not without a bunch of garlic and
some wooden stakes. - What...?
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00:15:46,453 --> 00:15:49,855
They're clones, not vampires!
It doesn't matter to the stake!
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00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,658
- What're you... we can't kill them!
- Well, not now.
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00:15:52,793 --> 00:15:55,861
We wait till morning and then murder
them in their coffins. Cyril?
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00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:59,231
- Thoughts? - I just really wish
I hadn't come on this stupid trip.
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00:15:59,366 --> 00:16:06,672
But since I did...
Taaaaanks! You jerks.
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00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:14,580
Don't even want to
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00:16:14,715 --> 00:16:17,717
know.
Lana! Lana!
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00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:21,520
Oh, my God, you gotta help me!
Oh, for the... there is no ice machine!
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00:16:21,655 --> 00:16:25,024
Okay, not that, but A) a palace
this big definitely has an ice machine,
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00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:28,394
maybe not in the hall, but it's not
like they make ice with trays.
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00:16:28,528 --> 00:16:30,930
- B)... - "B" is hey, shut up,
because I want to talk to you
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00:16:31,064 --> 00:16:34,464
- about that thing where you said you're cleaning
up your act. - Which I'm actually
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00:16:34,534 --> 00:16:38,471
pretty serious about, by the way, but right
now I want to talk about this other thing
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00:16:38,605 --> 00:16:43,576
where I just banged Calderón's wife.
Lana?
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00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:47,680
Uh, hang on. Okay.
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00:16:47,814 --> 00:16:52,718
Why would you do that?!
I... I'm sorry, do you mean where?
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00:16:52,853 --> 00:16:56,622
No, Archer, I mean why! What
happened to no more anonymous sex?
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00:16:56,757 --> 00:16:59,625
It wasn't anonymous, Lana.
I thought she was the maid.
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00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,795
- Why would you think that?!
- I'm sorry, do you
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00:17:02,929 --> 00:17:06,399
mean why?
Wh... Yes! Why?!
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00:17:06,533 --> 00:17:09,902
Uniform, towels, the usual maid stuff!
The... whoa-whoa-whoa-
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00:17:10,037 --> 00:17:13,305
whoa, back up. What is your
definition of anonymous sex?
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00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,875
- I don't know, bird masks?
- What?
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00:17:16,009 --> 00:17:18,544
Or a woman you literally
bump into on the train.
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00:17:18,679 --> 00:17:21,947
Or the ferry. Or in a port-a-john
at the Preakness that time, but not
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00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:25,084
somebody who works directly for a
president, I can tell you that.
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00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:29,088
I mean, we're talking major security clearance,
so you got to assume there's a pretty
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00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:35,061
- thorough vetting process for... that...
you know... - You done?
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00:17:35,195 --> 00:17:38,998
- Hang on. Yes?
- Okay. So.
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00:17:39,132 --> 00:17:46,305
Here's my advice. Do with it as you will.
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00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:53,913
Hey, are you going
260
00:17:54,047 --> 00:17:59,618
to this dinner?
Or did you already eat...
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00:17:59,753 --> 00:18:03,989
crayons?
Should we not just start?
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00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,992
Not
until the guest of honor arrives.
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00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,829
Woooooo-hoo!
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
264
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,724
yes, yes, come, come, come, come,
come, come, because I am pulling out!
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00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:16,068
- Phrasing, boom!
- Thank you.
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00:18:16,203 --> 00:18:18,804
How's the balls?
Ruined? I'm pretty sure?
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00:18:18,939 --> 00:18:21,507
Okay, you sit there.
Uh... you.
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00:18:21,641 --> 00:18:24,477
- Up. - I beg your pardon?
- Get up.
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00:18:24,611 --> 00:18:27,931
- Come on, move it, up, up, up! - Well,
of all the... - Please, Cherlene.
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00:18:28,048 --> 00:18:33,486
Everyone, raise a glass, and join me to toast
Cherlene! Because-- and I happen to know
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00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:38,991
this for a fact-- her debut album has
now officially sold one million copies!
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00:18:39,126 --> 00:18:41,660
Yay!
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00:18:41,795 --> 00:18:44,396
- How? It came out,
like, yesterday. - Yes!
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00:18:44,531 --> 00:18:47,066
Amazing! A toast.
No, like literally
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00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,069
yesterday.
And now it is platinum.
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00:18:50,203 --> 00:18:53,639
A toast!
I just don't see how it's possible.
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00:18:53,774 --> 00:19:01,447
It doesn't matter
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00:19:01,581 --> 00:19:04,416
how! A toast!
Hear, hear!
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00:19:04,551 --> 00:19:09,121
And also
let us not forget my brave soldiers, yes,
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00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:14,059
- out there, fighting those rebel dogs,
far away! - And plus that one right
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00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,730
- there. - Señor Presidente!
The rebels have broken through
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00:19:17,864 --> 00:19:20,733
our lines!
They...
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00:19:23,937 --> 00:19:27,873
They are now within mortar range!
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00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:30,876
- Oh, my God! It's starting!
- What is?
285
00:19:31,011 --> 00:19:35,815
- Cherlenemania! - It's
a mortar attack! - I know!
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00:19:35,949 --> 00:19:39,985
How frickin' outlaw country
is that?!
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00:19:40,187 --> 00:19:42,054
♪ I'll burn it down
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00:19:42,189 --> 00:19:43,923
I'll burn it down to the ground
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00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:50,838
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com