1
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,263
(ALL EXCLAIMING IN ALARM)
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,717
ARCHER: God damn it, Ray!
Are you drunk?
3
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:08,846
No, dumbass!
Are you?
4
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,018
ARCHER: No!
5
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,720
Although not for
lack of trying.
6
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,805
Exactly, that's
my whole point.
7
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:14,890
(RETCHING)
8
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,523
(COUGHING) How can you drink
rum with all this turbulence?
9
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,855
Oh, my God, that's
my whole point!
10
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:22,190
Enough already!
11
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,775
My God, are you people
paid by the word?
12
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,862
It's bad enough I'm packed into
this flying boxcar with you,
13
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,117
(ALL GASPING)
14
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,619
without all this
incessant bickering.
15
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,416
It's like I'm stuck
on a school bus.
16
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,790
With the worst
driver on the planet!
17
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:36,870
(MUTTERING)
Why don't you shut up?
18
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,206
Your own plane...
What was that?
19
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,006
It is kind of
like a school bus.
20
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,335
When have you
ever been on a bus?
21
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,669
No, from the movies.
22
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,470
We've got the whole
Breakfast Club in here.
23
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,346
I'm Emilio Estevez, Cyril's
obviously Anthony Michael Nerd,
24
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,301
Mother, you're Paul Gleason,
25
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,558
Krieger's the loose cannon
Judd Nelson,
26
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:56,607
and Lana, you're... Er, urn...
27
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,060
Wait, seriously?
Molly Ringwald.
28
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,234
MEN: Eh...
29
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,562
Oh, my God!
30
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:02,646
What the hell are
you talking about?
31
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,855
Mother, hush.
32
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:07,239
Lana, come on, if any of you
ISIS women is Molly Ringwald...
33
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,990
It's obviously Cherlene.
34
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,241
Totally.
MALORY: What?
35
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,448
Yeah. She's the rich
one, she's a redhead...
36
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,250
So what, you think
I'm Ally Sheedy?
37
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,999
Are you all just
saying random words?
38
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,580
Ally Sheedy
would've been way more
39
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,256
likely to get pregnant
in high school.
40
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:22,674
Had there
been a sequel.
41
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,171
God forbid.
Right?
42
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,094
And as for
who's the hot one...
43
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:29,343
(SCOFFS) Wait what, of us?
I'm the hot one!
44
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,637
ALL: Eh...
Oh, my God!
45
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,594
CHERYL: Oh, get over yourself.
ALL: Huh?
46
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,145
What's that from?
PAM: Will you shut up?
47
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,222
CHERYL: Oh, please,
she knows we're in here.
48
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,104
PAM: She will
if you don't shut up!
49
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,276
(SIGHS) Pam,
I know you're in there.
50
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,025
PAM: No, we're not!
51
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,825
But if we are, which I don't admit
to, which Breakfast Clubber am I?
52
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,702
Hmm, I guess the janitor
everybody thinks
53
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,246
is gross, but turns out
to be cool.
54
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:54,915
PAM: Aw!
(CHERYL CHUCKLING)
55
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,459
I love that you take
that as a compliment.
56
00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,624
(PAM FARTING)
57
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,205
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
58
00:02:06,158 --> 00:02:16,423
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)
59
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,878
PAM: So, can we get out
of the crate now?
60
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,250
MALORY: No.
61
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,334
But as it seems we've arrived
at a pause in the idiocy,
62
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,169
let's recap the plan for
when we land in San Marcos.
63
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,051
Yeah, because I'm curious
how we tell Calderon we turned
64
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,508
$6 million worth of cocaine
65
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,514
into $1 million
worth of weapons.
66
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:57,970
That's the
CIA's problem.
67
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,431
Calderon doesn't care.
It's all gravy to him.
68
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,107
Yeah, Lana.
69
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,855
I was actually
wondering that myself.
70
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:07,689
All that matters is that Calderon
pays us for this shipment.
71
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,445
Then we use the profits
to buy more weapons,
72
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,618
which we sell to him
to make more profits
73
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,492
to buy more weapons,
blah blah blah.
74
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:18,414
(SCOFFS) Lana, for God's
sake, it's Econ 101.
75
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,742
Cyril, don't be shitty.
76
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,042
Yeah, Cyril.
77
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,041
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER: Tower
to unidentified aircraft.
78
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,420
You are now entering restricted
San Marcos airspace.
79
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,624
Identify yourself.
80
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:28,709
Uh, guys?
81
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,385
Just tell them
Slater sent us.
82
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,882
You think
that's a good idea?
83
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,681
Flying into a war zone, telling
them we're with the CIA?
84
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,758
If Slater
even was CIA.
85
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,970
Now, he's the one
who teabagged you?
86
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,178
(PAM GROWLS PLAYFULLY)
87
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,185
Uh, beanbagged.
Oh, whichever.
88
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,266
It's a fairly
important distinction!
89
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:45,726
Sorry, can I be a
nag for a second?
90
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:49,063
Oh, my God, Lana! I've had
only, like, eight drinks.
91
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,524
Okay, not that,
but wait, really?
92
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,906
Yeah, I've totally cut back. And
not that it's any of your beeswax,
93
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,864
but I've also cut
back on, you know...
94
00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,622
On what?
95
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:02,326
Sterling, with you that could
almost literally be anything.
96
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,250
Anonymous sex! If you must know!
Ew!
97
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,750
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER:
Beechcraft, please identify.
98
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,127
Guys.
Really?
99
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,709
I've totally, relatively
cleaned up my act.
100
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:14,092
So maybe keep that in mind when
you're choosing godparents?
101
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,340
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
102
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,638
I will, Archer.
I really will.
103
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,682
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER:
Beechcraft, identify. Guys!
104
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,479
God damn it!
Tell him Slater sent us!
105
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,931
Wait, wait, wait...
106
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,233
Tower, this is Beechcraft.
Ray!
107
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,606
Uh, Slater sent us.
(GROWLS)
108
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,613
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER: Beechcraft,
you are cleared for landing.
109
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,324
Thank you for
hearing my concerns.
110
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,026
Jesus, will you relax?
111
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,572
(BURPS)
112
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:40,743
(SIGHS)
113
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,824
What's the worst
that could happen?
114
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,577
Get on the ground! Get on the ground!
Hands up!
115
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:46,786
Get on the ground!
Don't shoot!
116
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:47,962
Hands up!
117
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,005
Don't shoot!
We're unarmed!
118
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,798
Way to go, Gilligan.
119
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,502
MAN: Silencio.
120
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,504
Who is in charge here?
121
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:56,679
Señor Presidente! I...
122
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,928
Not you, you
baboon-faced baboon!
123
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,805
l am obviously
talking to these gringos
124
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:04,388
and also, if I am here, then you
are obviously not in charge!
125
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,514
I...
126
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,559
(GUN CLICKING)
127
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,399
And to repeat,
128
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,572
who is in charge here?
129
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:15,695
That would be...
130
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:19,244
Because they are to blame for this
shipment of weapons being late!
131
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,492
Her, that older woman
down there,
132
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,165
with the more or
less permanent scowl.
133
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:28,337
Señor Presidente, it is
such an honor to meet you.
134
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,663
I'm Malory Archer.
135
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,918
WOW!
136
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:35,924
(CHUCKLING) Well, thank you.
Anyhoo... Hello?
137
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,255
So, the stories
are true!
138
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,262
What stories?
I... Not... What's...
139
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,685
Damn it, man,
I was sleepwalking!
140
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,762
(ALL MURMURING IN AMAZEMENT)
141
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,560
(WHISPERS) Hey.
What's going on?
142
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,683
(SIGHS) Maybe you're their god.
(GASPS)
143
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,189
Okay,
all but him, arrest!
144
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,270
(ALL PROTESTING)
145
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,197
Without even checking
the merchandise?
146
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,364
Although not
that particular...
147
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,366
(CHERYL AND PAM SCREAMING)
148
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,573
(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)
149
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,283
Wait! No, no, no!
Don't shoot!
150
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:14,958
God damn it! Who the
hell drilled my box?
151
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,921
So we're just done with "phrasing," right?
That's not a thing anymore?
152
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,677
(SIGHS)
ARCHER: I know, right?
153
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,553
Cherlene!
What?
154
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,724
ALL: Wait, what?
155
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:24,767
Yeah seriously, what?
156
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,392
Outlaw Country! Hoochie
Coochie Coochie Man!
157
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,143
Travis County
Limitado!
158
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,977
l am your biggest fan! Please, we
go to the presidential palace!
159
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,065
I'm fine, too,
by the way!
160
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,237
That's good.
Great!
161
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,566
Please, come.
Come, come, come!
162
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,195
So phrasing's
just dead then?
163
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,743
What is your...
164
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:42,990
Wait, are you drunk?
165
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,616
(SCOFFS)
Please, off 12 drinks?
166
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,824
Viva Cherlene!
Viva Cherlene!
167
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,084
ALL: (CHANTING) Cherlene!
Cherlene! Cherlene!
168
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,833
Wait a minute,
you said eight drinks.
169
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,835
(LAUGHING) I lied.
170
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,333
I mean, yes, eight.
171
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,680
PAM: (LAUGHING)
Holy dickballs!
172
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,141
I mean, I mean, I
mean, just holy...
173
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,146
Dickballs,
yes, Pam, I got it.
174
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,442
Are you sure?
175
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,610
The room is okay?
176
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,154
(YAWNING)
Yeah, it's fine, whatever.
177
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:21,654
I cannot believe it is actually you!
Here! In my palace!
178
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,698
I mean... Yeah it's
blowin' your mind, huh?
179
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,950
Boom! (CHUCKLING)
180
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,702
Can I please
bring you anything,
181
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,783
a freshly squeezed juice,
a cocktail,
182
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,493
a sandwich of
your own choosing...
183
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,378
Don't you, like, have a war to go to?
(SCOFFS)
184
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,627
It's in the mountains,
far, far away.
185
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,459
Where we will crush
the communist rebel dogs!
186
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,136
Especially now that we are
once again receiving weapons.
187
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,429
MALORY: Yoo-hoo!
188
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,632
And about that,
I was hoping that
189
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,683
you and I could
discuss our terms?
190
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,978
I... But Cherlene...
191
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:53,182
ls exhausted.
As is my drink.
192
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,360
(SIGHS) Why do we always
have to share a room?
193
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,358
The sinister
gay cabal, Cyril.
194
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,316
You have fallen victim to
the sinister gay cabal.
195
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,400
Okay. You know...
196
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,077
I don't know why we always
get stuck together.
197
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,995
But I kinda
don't mind it.
198
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,449
Actually, I don't
either, now that I...
199
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,079
Queer!
200
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,956
(SNICKERING)
201
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,297
(SHAKING RHYTHMICALLY)
202
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,626
(CHANTING) Apache helicopters!
203
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,003
We should sell those!
Cause I'm a ropper!
204
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,466
(LAUGHS)
205
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,681
Wow, that's awful.
206
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:30,056
But so far, being an international
arms dealer is not.
207
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,979
I could get
extremely used to this.
208
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,352
Matt, Joel,
hi, shut up.
209
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,106
Let's set up lunch
with Adnan Khashoggi? I...
210
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,185
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
211
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,112
(STUTTERING)
212
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,241
I got it.
213
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,489
(LAUGHING)
214
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,413
Oh, no.
(CLATTERING)
215
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,582
(CLEARS THROAT)
216
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:57,787
May I help you?
217
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,589
I'm sorry to bother you, sir.
218
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,838
No, you didn't, aren't,
or rather
219
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,295
you couldn't,
or still haven't, I...
220
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,803
I thought you
might need more towels.
221
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,054
Oh, uh...
222
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:13,637
No, I think I'm
okay for right now.
223
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:18,141
Although that being said, it's
better to be safe than sorry.
224
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,352
At least with
regards to towels.
225
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,901
But only towels.
226
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:27,655
Hey, are there more towels?
Hey, are there more towels?
227
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,828
Hey are there more...
228
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,200
You realize this
isn't a hotel, right?
229
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,656
And even if it were,
that's not how
230
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,241
you would go about
getting towels!
231
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:38,170
Who're you? Princess...
Hang on. Lana?
232
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,087
Well played.
I've got crate lag.
233
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,415
And where are you
going with that?
234
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,624
Ice machine.
235
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,425
Oh, hey,
I could use some ice.
236
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,880
Oh, and if you see a housekeeping
cart, can you grab me some towels?
237
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,179
PAM: Yep!
238
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,056
You're not
going to, are you?
239
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,179
PAM: Nope!
240
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,510
God damn it.
241
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,554
(WINCING) Cold, cold, cold...
242
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,435
And there,
but for the grace of...
243
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,107
Hey, get me
a fizzy water!
244
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,726
(PAM FARTS AND CHUCKLES)
245
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,061
Thanks!
246
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,144
MALORY: I'm sorry?
247
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,983
Tanks?
248
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,781
For?
Hmm.
249
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,279
Hmm.
250
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,906
Maybe to start?
251
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:14,455
I defer to you?
252
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,659
Then yes, I think to start.
253
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,789
Yes?
254
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,796
Oh, yes, please.
255
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,129
But soon
I think more, no?
256
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,757
(LAUGHS)
Well, I should hope so...
257
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,176
Or is that not...
258
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:34,430
No, please, of course. I am
willing to do whatever it takes.
259
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,136
Anything.
260
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:39,097
(CHUCKLES) Well,
then that makes two of us.
261
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,559
Wait, really?
Anything?
262
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,194
Yes?
263
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:47,981
Gas?
264
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,065
I'm sorry?
265
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,321
You have gas?
266
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,401
Wh...
267
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,485
No!
268
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,116
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, sorry.
269
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,989
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought you...
No! For the... No!
270
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,665
I misunderstood.
I apologize!
271
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,208
And well you should!
272
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,161
And well I do!
Please, forgive me!
273
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,621
I mean...
274
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,672
PAM: What
a frickin' clip joint.
275
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,670
No towels.
No ice machine.
276
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,046
(CHERYL SCREAMS)
277
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,343
No towel machine?
278
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,716
Yeah, right?
279
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,014
What is this, Escape From...
280
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,183
Wait, are we still
in New York, or...
281
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:18,011
What? No, we're in
Central America.
282
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:21,598
(GASPS) Oh, my God.
We did it! We're free!
283
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,610
Do... Outlaw different country!
Whoo!
284
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,698
(SIGHS) Sometimes
I worry about her.
285
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:31,740
Eh...
286
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,614
Oh, hang on,
maybe this is it.
287
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,866
I don't know, it looks kinda...
KRIEGER: Ugh.
288
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:39,324
Pam, they can't leave valuable
towels and ice just lying around.
289
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,751
Hotel profit margins
are very thin.
290
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,120
(GASPS)
291
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,248
(STUTTERING)
292
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,959
(WHIMPERING)
293
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,006
(SCREAMING)
294
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,138
(ALL SOBBING)
295
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,893
(WHIMPERING)
296
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,850
Krieger? What'd
you, see a ghost?
297
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,810
Oh, my God,
please say yes.
298
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,521
All right.
ls that happy hour I smell?
299
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:11,572
Yes. Mr. Archer,
please join us.
300
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,150
Your mother and I
are drinking wine
301
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,906
that belonged to
Benjamin Franklin.
302
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,076
We are?
303
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,199
And discussing
a shipment of
304
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,905
four American tanks.
305
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,456
Oh, tanks!
306
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,748
Thanks. Tanks?
307
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:22,825
We do tanks!
308
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,128
We can do anything, as long
as you're willing to pay.
309
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:26,546
Me pay?
310
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,294
Good,
then it's settled.
311
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:29,750
If you say so,
Mother.
312
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,049
No, no, I'm sorry.
313
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:34,379
I thought this is why the
CIA was buying my cocaine.
314
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,089
To sell to the
American black people,
315
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,765
to make the money
to buy the weapons
316
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,888
to give to me to
fight the comunistas.
317
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,015
Exactly.
318
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,437
Wait, what?
Why wouldn't they just...
319
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,560
Sterling, shut up
and let me handle this,
320
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,767
because the problem, Gustavo...
Oh...
321
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,943
I'm sorry.
May I call you Gustavo?
322
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,019
No.
323
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,356
The problem,
Señor Presidente...
324
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,318
The problem, you see,
the problem is...
325
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,244
ls the White House
has lost faith
326
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,071
in your ability
to win this war!
327
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,494
Ooh. And so, if you
want any more weapons,
328
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,788
you'll have to pay for
them in cash. Ooh.
329
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,084
Starting now.
330
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,288
No, no... But I cannot
afford to do this!
331
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,998
Oh, please.
Look at you, drinking
332
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,004
Ben Franklin's wine
like it's Kool-Aid,
333
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,506
surrounded
by priceless art...
334
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,383
Not this one
obviously, but...
335
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,305
No, this one
cost 40 millions.
336
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,382
What?
What?
337
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,092
Yes. It is
an Ivan Blitko.
338
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,643
So we have,
in this area,
339
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:26,064
these very geometric shapes, and
these very bold colors here,
340
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,016
and then the thick black
lines are coming here,
341
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,147
always drawing
the eye to here,
342
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,274
and then, over
everything, just white.
343
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,947
Just layer after layer
after layer of pure white.
344
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,742
Until you can see nothing
of the painting below.
345
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,787
Not even with
an infrared camera.
346
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:44,662
So, what's the point?
347
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,742
CALDERON: The point?
348
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:50,000
What is the point of a beautiful woman?
And speaking of!
349
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,331
(CHUCKLING)
350
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:52,540
Hello, darling.
351
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:53,624
(GRUNTS)
352
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,008
My Wife!
353
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,711
(MUFFLED GROANING)
354
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,173
(GULPS)
355
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,257
(SIGHS)
356
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,301
(BURPS)
357
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,182
MALORY: Sterling!
358
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,309
Where are
your manners?
359
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:12,689
Probably in my room,
so I should
360
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,021
go there right
now and find them.
361
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,480
No, no, no,
please stay.
362
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:18,316
Mi amor, may I present
to you Sterling Archer
363
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,618
and also his charming
mother, Malory.
364
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,195
Juliana Calderon.
365
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:25,031
A pleasure to meet you, Juliana.
Oh.
366
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,534
I'm sorry. May I call you... No.
367
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,540
Uh, darling, how was
your afternoon?
368
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,288
Exhausting.
369
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,706
Hmm.
370
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,632
So hot and sweaty.
371
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,754
(NERVOUSLY) Hmm.
372
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,053
To be honest, I'm really quite sore.
Mmm-hmm.
373
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,926
You see? This is
why I disapprove.
374
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,928
Juliana sometimes goes
among the servants,
375
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,476
pretending to be a maid
or working in the laundry,
376
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,553
even one time helping
to carry some rocks?
377
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:48,809
Oh, how...
378
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,019
Inspiring, really.
Hmm.
379
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,101
I was just
showing them the Blitko.
380
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,733
Do you like what you see, Mr.
Archer?
381
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,906
You know, so much that
382
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,574
I'm gonna go write about it
in my art journal!
383
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,905
She is going to
bring us some tanks,
384
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,456
so that we may
crush the rebel dogs.
385
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,418
Did they tell you
what is for dinner?
386
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,712
CYRIL: Clones?
Yes, clones!
387
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:16,087
My God, it was like looking
in several mirrors!
388
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,758
Oh man, oh man,
oh man, oh man...
389
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,757
Archer!
What?
390
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,262
Ow! (GROANS)
391
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,931
Hang on.
Got a stitch.
392
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,929
Damn it,
I don't have time for...
393
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,102
Wait, Pam, did you
find an ice machine?
394
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,520
Uh-uh. Oh...
395
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,518
Hang on.
God damn it.
396
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,315
Clones!
What?
397
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:34,984
Krieger says...
Ow! Hold on.
398
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,356
God damn it!
399
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,484
Krieger says he saw
a bunch of clones!
400
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,689
Of what?
401
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,274
Of me! We're running
to find them!
402
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:44,156
Wait, what? I thought we
were running away from them!
403
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,533
Hang on. Shut up.
Hold that thought.
404
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,540
Guys, come on.
Let's go!
405
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,834
Not without a bunch of garlic
and some wooden stakes.
406
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,628
What? They're clones,
not vampires!
407
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,172
It doesn't matter
to the stake!
408
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:57,874
What're you...
We can't kill them!
409
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,630
Well, not now!
We wait till morning
410
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,507
and then murder
them in their coffins.
411
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,213
Cyril? Thoughts?
412
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,594
I just really wish I hadn't
come on this stupid trip.
413
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,220
But since I did...
414
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,804
Thanks! You jerks.
415
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:13,765
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
416
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:18,895
(SCREAMS ECHOING)
417
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,150
(SIGHS)
418
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,027
Don't even wanna know.
ARCHER: Lana!
419
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,280
Lana! Oh, my God.
You gotta help me!
420
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,657
Oh, for the... There
is no ice machine!
421
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:31,458
Okay not that, but A, a palace this
big definitely has an ice machine.
422
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,079
Maybe not in the hall,
but it's not
423
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,911
like they make
ice with trays. B...
424
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,918
B is "Hey, shut up," because I
wanna talk to you about that thing
425
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,419
where you said
you're cleaning up your act.
426
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:43,094
Which I'm actually pretty serious
about, by the way, but right now,
427
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,716
I wanna talk
about this other thing
428
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:46,763
where I just
banged Calderon's wife.
429
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,098
Lana.
Uh, hang on.
430
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,846
Okay. (CLEARS THROAT)
431
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,311
Why would you do that?
432
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,563
I... I'm sorry,
do you mean where?
433
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,691
No, Archer,
I mean why!
434
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,738
What happened to
"no more anonymous sex"?
435
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,692
It wasn't anonymous, Lana!
I thought she was the maid!
436
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,823
Why would
you think that?
437
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,155
I'm sorry,
do you mean why?
438
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,366
(MUTTERS ANGRILY)
Yes! Why?
439
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,201
Uniform, towels,
the usual maid stuff!
440
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,161
The... Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Back up.
441
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,464
What is your definition
of anonymous sex?
442
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,628
I don't know,
bird masks!
443
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:25,302
Or a woman you literally bump
into on the train! Or the ferry!
444
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,006
Or in a porta-john at
the Preakness that time.
445
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,466
But not somebody
who works directly
446
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,222
for a president,
I can tell you that.
447
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,394
I mean, we're talking
major security clearance,
448
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,392
so you gotta
assume there's
449
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,941
a pretty thorough
vetting process for that...
450
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,017
You know...
451
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:41,648
You done?
452
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,729
Hang on. Yes.
453
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,157
Okay. So,
here's my advice.
454
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,034
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
455
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,032
(COUGHING)
456
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,409
Do with it as you will.
457
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,541
(GROANING)
458
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:56,993
Oh!
459
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,873
(YAWNING) Hey, are you
going to this dinner?
460
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,256
(RETCHING)
461
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:07,675
Or did you already eat?
Crayons.
462
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,423
(SIGHS)
Should we not just start?
463
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,430
(CLEARS THROAT) Not until
the guest of honor arrives.
464
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,307
Whoo-hoo!
(GASPS)
465
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,765
Yes, yes, yes. Come, come, come,
because I am pulling out!
466
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,850
Phrasing, boom!
(WEAKLY) Thank you.
467
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:23,315
(GROANS)
How's the balls?
468
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,146
Ruined,
I'm pretty sure.
469
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,152
Okay, you sit there.
470
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,608
You, up.
471
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:29,783
I beg your pardon?
472
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,532
Get up.
Come on, move it.
473
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,113
Up, up, up!
Well, of all the...
474
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,242
Please, Cherlene!
475
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:38,452
Everyone, raise a glass,
and join me to toast Cherlene!
476
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,832
Because, and I happen to
know this for a fact,
477
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:45,417
her debut album has now officially
sold one million copies!
478
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,046
(SCREAMING)
(ALL CHEERING)
479
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,720
How? It came out
like, yesterday.
480
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,298
Yes! Amazing!
A toast!
481
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,429
No, like literally
yesterday.
482
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,182
And now it is platinum!
A toast!
483
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,889
I just don't see
how it's possible...
484
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,851
(VEHICLES BEEPING)
485
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,573
It doesn't matter how!
A toast!
486
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:12,076
(ALL TOASTING INDISTINCTLY)
I don't get it, but okay.
487
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,619
And also,
let us not forget,
488
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,243
my brave soldiers,
yes, out there,
489
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,584
fighting those rebel
dogs, far away!
490
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,627
And plus that
one right there.
491
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,375
Señor Presidente!
The rebels have
492
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:24,671
broken through our lines!
They...
493
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:26,090
(ROCKETS WHISTLING)
494
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,970
They are now
within mortar range!
495
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,764
(ALL SCREAMING)
496
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,804
Oh, my God,
it's starting!
497
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,100
What is?
498
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,395
Cherlene mania!
499
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:40,938
It's a mortar attack!
500
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:45,735
I know! How frickin'
outlaw country is that?
501
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,362
CHERYL: (SINGING)
I burn it down
502
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:52,158
I burn it down to the ground
I burn it down
503
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,406
To the sea
504
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,863
I burn it down
505
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,165
Down to the ground
506
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,119
Don't mess with
this country queen
507
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:08,042
Don't you mess
508
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,627
With this country queen
509
00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:24,309
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)