1 00:00:00,622 --> 00:00:02,099 Okay, Emma, next question: 2 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:04,189 I need two words to describe your daddy. 3 00:00:04,190 --> 00:00:06,468 - Ha. - Fun. 4 00:00:06,469 --> 00:00:08,770 Well, you wouldn't be here if I wasn't, right? 5 00:00:09,548 --> 00:00:12,531 Ben, I can't believe you signed up for match-making night. 6 00:00:12,997 --> 00:00:15,313 Someone having trouble meeting girls? 7 00:00:15,947 --> 00:00:17,136 No. 8 00:00:17,137 --> 00:00:20,598 But if a computer's gonna help me custom-build one, I say why not? 9 00:00:20,599 --> 00:00:23,521 - (Scoffs) - It's a girl, not a burger. 10 00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:24,993 (Ben laughs) 11 00:00:24,994 --> 00:00:27,076 One of my clients actually met her husband 12 00:00:27,077 --> 00:00:28,780 through one of these match-making thingies... 13 00:00:28,781 --> 00:00:31,284 - See? It does work. - ...And then she tried to kill him. 14 00:00:33,123 --> 00:00:35,820 I believe the word you're glossing over is "tried." 15 00:00:38,374 --> 00:00:41,607 No no no. Ben, you do not want to meet Gretchen Schilling. 16 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,858 Truly the scariest client I've ever had. 17 00:00:43,859 --> 00:00:46,570 Wait wait wait, Gretchen Schilling? 18 00:00:46,571 --> 00:00:48,596 Didn't you try to set me up with her? 19 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:54,227 Yes, but that was before I was 100% sure she was guilty. 20 00:00:55,182 --> 00:00:57,162 - (Mouths) - Which is why I'm asking a computer 21 00:00:57,163 --> 00:00:58,823 to set me up instead of you. 22 00:00:58,824 --> 00:01:01,184 In a few hours I'll be standing face-to-face 23 00:01:01,185 --> 00:01:02,743 with my dream girl. 24 00:01:03,325 --> 00:01:06,242 13. 13 here. 25 00:01:06,243 --> 00:01:08,149 Any takers? (Chuckles) 26 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,823 (Clears throat) 13? 27 00:01:10,824 --> 00:01:13,041 Bonnie: Is somebody looking for 13? 28 00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:16,534 Mom? 29 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,959 (Theme music playing) 30 00:01:20,453 --> 00:01:23,505 ♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪ 31 00:01:23,506 --> 00:01:26,512 ♪ can take your life and change direction. ♪ 32 00:01:26,513 --> 00:01:30,501 Synced and corrected by Nantinha ~ www.addic7ed.com ~ 33 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,498 How could this happen? 34 00:01:32,499 --> 00:01:35,428 How could someone so awesome end up with someone so... 35 00:01:35,937 --> 00:01:38,033 - Equally awesome? - Uh-huh. 36 00:01:38,908 --> 00:01:41,531 Don't think I'm excited to find out I can't do better 37 00:01:41,532 --> 00:01:44,181 than a bartender whose mother still cleans his room. 38 00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:46,624 I wore my lucky bra for this. 39 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,631 If everyone else's matches were this awful, 40 00:01:49,632 --> 00:01:51,974 there's gotta be a bunch of lonely lookers out there. 41 00:01:52,801 --> 00:01:56,065 Oh! There's a girl I could bring home to mom. 42 00:01:56,066 --> 00:02:00,198 Oh, Benji, so young, so innocent, 43 00:02:00,199 --> 00:02:02,965 I can smell her marital boredom from here. 44 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:04,955 Plus her husband hit on me 45 00:02:04,956 --> 00:02:06,548 at the dry-cleaner's last week... 46 00:02:07,362 --> 00:02:09,572 Which may explain why she's here. 47 00:02:10,610 --> 00:02:13,521 - What about that one? - Oh God no. 48 00:02:13,522 --> 00:02:15,689 The boobs, the hair, the nose... all fake. 49 00:02:15,690 --> 00:02:17,722 The maintenance alone would break you. 50 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,545 Wow. I didn't know you were so good at this. 51 00:02:20,546 --> 00:02:23,349 Oh, Ben, the things you don't know about me 52 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:25,387 could fill an adult bookstore. 53 00:02:26,482 --> 00:02:27,989 I can't believe I'm gonna ask you this, 54 00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:31,328 but... will you be my wingmom? 55 00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:34,926 Wait. For the first time in history, 56 00:02:34,927 --> 00:02:38,146 a son actually wants his mother's opinion on who to go out with? 57 00:02:38,147 --> 00:02:39,644 Yeah, I do. 58 00:02:40,133 --> 00:02:42,222 I think I'm gonna cry. 59 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:48,617 Almost there. Wait for it. 60 00:02:48,618 --> 00:02:51,652 - Ta-da! - (Gasps) That is so cool! 61 00:02:51,653 --> 00:02:53,753 (Laughs) The laundromat re-opened. 62 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,708 So that means they never found out 63 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,818 who was responsible for the drier fire. 64 00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:01,592 - Right? - No no, not the laundromat... 65 00:03:01,593 --> 00:03:05,086 - the car! Adele the chevelle... - Oh my God. 66 00:03:05,087 --> 00:03:06,797 The only woman my dad truly loved. 67 00:03:06,798 --> 00:03:09,435 Wait, I thought your mom made him sell that car in the divorce. 68 00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:11,532 Well, yeah, he said he'd do a lot of things that he didn't, 69 00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:14,633 like stay married to her and not hit on guys. 70 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:18,054 Which reminds me... do not tell my mom about this. 71 00:03:18,055 --> 00:03:20,558 Wait. So what are you gonna do with it? 72 00:03:20,559 --> 00:03:23,157 And by "you," I mean "we." 73 00:03:23,158 --> 00:03:25,932 Well, he's finally coming to pick it up out of storage in a week, 74 00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:28,084 so I said I'd make sure she's ready. 75 00:03:28,085 --> 00:03:30,606 And how could I do that without a little test drive? 76 00:03:30,607 --> 00:03:32,730 - (Laughs) - Which will probably last a week. 77 00:03:32,731 --> 00:03:35,331 And I know where we are going first... 78 00:03:35,332 --> 00:03:36,786 - the beach. - (Gasps) 79 00:03:36,787 --> 00:03:40,183 We're gonna take this hot rod to meet some hot bods. 80 00:03:40,895 --> 00:03:43,359 Yeah, but the beach is only the first stop. 81 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,284 I've been waiting to drive this car my entire life. 82 00:03:46,648 --> 00:03:49,736 - (Tires screech) - My life just flashed before my eyes. 83 00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:52,373 This is never happening again. 84 00:03:52,374 --> 00:03:54,298 - We only went around the block. - (Pants) 85 00:03:54,299 --> 00:03:56,404 But that block was like a war zone, 86 00:03:56,405 --> 00:03:59,669 with 200 giant yellow tanks all aiming for Adele. 87 00:04:00,219 --> 00:04:01,819 I believe they're called taxis. 88 00:04:01,820 --> 00:04:04,006 Yeah. Bro, you were going so slow, 89 00:04:04,007 --> 00:04:06,275 I bought a hot dog from the back seat. 90 00:04:06,853 --> 00:04:09,736 Just one mark on this car and my dad will disown me. 91 00:04:09,737 --> 00:04:11,464 You know what? I totally get it, 92 00:04:11,465 --> 00:04:14,316 and I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with. 93 00:04:14,317 --> 00:04:16,901 So why don't you take Emma upstairs 94 00:04:16,902 --> 00:04:18,947 and we will make sure everything is spotless? 95 00:04:18,948 --> 00:04:20,863 - (Sighs) Thanks, tuck. - Yeah. 96 00:04:22,591 --> 00:04:24,472 - (Emma fusses) - (Car honks) 97 00:04:24,985 --> 00:04:28,081 - Don't forget the keys. - Oh, I won't. (Laughs) 98 00:04:29,944 --> 00:04:31,357 Whoo. Okay. 99 00:04:32,917 --> 00:04:34,443 Whoa. Hey, what are you doing? 100 00:04:34,444 --> 00:04:36,204 - I'm going to the beach. - (Scoffs) 101 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:39,419 I have to. I already updated my status. 102 00:04:40,132 --> 00:04:43,283 Hey, I know that you boys have no morals or integrity, 103 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,390 but I will not lie to Danny like that. 104 00:04:45,391 --> 00:04:47,599 All right? He's my best friend and we have a code. 105 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,441 I'll let you drive on the way back. 106 00:04:49,442 --> 00:04:51,021 - Code broken. I'm in. - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 107 00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:53,170 - (Engine starts) - Whoo! 108 00:04:53,799 --> 00:04:56,516 I call this one "the Ben," because it's strong, smooth 109 00:04:56,517 --> 00:04:58,034 and might just get you in trouble. 110 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,713 Okay, thanks for playing. 111 00:05:01,714 --> 00:05:05,215 We'll see you next time on "who wants to date my son?" 112 00:05:05,216 --> 00:05:07,756 - Okay, bye-bye. - Mom, what are you doing? 113 00:05:07,757 --> 00:05:09,427 You're the one who told me to talk to her in the first place. 114 00:05:09,428 --> 00:05:11,390 Yeah, for practice... 115 00:05:11,391 --> 00:05:12,990 Until I found you a good one, 116 00:05:12,991 --> 00:05:15,810 which I just did... In the men's room. 117 00:05:16,747 --> 00:05:18,531 - And that's why you're my wingmom. - Yeah. 118 00:05:18,532 --> 00:05:20,871 I never would've thought to look for a girl in the men's room. 119 00:05:20,872 --> 00:05:22,668 Uh-huh. Yeah, well, she's gonna be out here any minute, 120 00:05:22,669 --> 00:05:25,135 so stand up straight, fix your collar 121 00:05:25,136 --> 00:05:26,616 and whatever you do... 122 00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,271 (Deep voice) Don't be yourself. 123 00:05:34,128 --> 00:05:38,211 - Yeah, all clear. - Maybe if we don't say anything, he won't notice. 124 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,896 Really? Yeah, I think he's gonna notice 125 00:05:40,897 --> 00:05:42,615 that he's missing this. 126 00:05:44,131 --> 00:05:46,449 But I mean, you never know. Maybe the giant scratch 127 00:05:46,450 --> 00:05:48,510 on the side of the door will distract him. 128 00:05:49,296 --> 00:05:51,991 You know, I can't believe I let you talk me into this. 129 00:05:51,992 --> 00:05:54,629 Oh, you are not pinning this on me. You were the one driving. 130 00:05:54,630 --> 00:05:56,539 Oh, but you were the one screaming at me. 131 00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,496 Yeah, I was screaming, "watch out for that mailbox!" 132 00:06:02,604 --> 00:06:05,408 You know what? Turning on each other is not gonna fix anything. 133 00:06:05,409 --> 00:06:07,604 So here's what we're gonna do: I'll call the body shop 134 00:06:07,605 --> 00:06:09,613 - and you make sure that Danny does not... - (Door opens) 135 00:06:09,614 --> 00:06:12,569 - Hey. - Oh, hey, guys. Where've you been? 136 00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:13,979 - Shopping. - Coffee. 137 00:06:14,495 --> 00:06:16,614 - Shopping... - For coffee. 138 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,338 - We didn't find any. - No. (Clears throat) 139 00:06:20,927 --> 00:06:23,775 - But Riley was just walking me home. - Yeah. 140 00:06:23,776 --> 00:06:27,099 - So there you go. Bye. - Bye. 141 00:06:31,607 --> 00:06:32,288 (Chuckles) 142 00:06:33,481 --> 00:06:35,868 Well, I was just going to go say good night to Adele. 143 00:06:35,869 --> 00:06:37,337 Now? No, she's fine. 144 00:06:37,338 --> 00:06:38,373 Yeah, we were just down there. 145 00:06:38,374 --> 00:06:39,834 She's all tucked in for the night. 146 00:06:40,883 --> 00:06:43,077 Oh, look, Ben's here. Hey, Ben. Let's talk to Ben. 147 00:06:43,078 --> 00:06:45,406 Tell us something, anything. Please, I beg of you. 148 00:06:46,686 --> 00:06:47,580 You know, you're not gonna believe it, 149 00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,288 but I think mom has found me the perfect woman. 150 00:06:49,714 --> 00:06:51,997 Oh, last week she found me the perfect shirt. 151 00:06:51,998 --> 00:06:53,391 Man, she's on a roll. 152 00:06:54,157 --> 00:06:55,970 Just... (Laughs) 153 00:06:55,971 --> 00:06:58,277 I'm telling you, man, that woman is amazing. 154 00:06:58,278 --> 00:07:02,079 Oh God! How hot is it in that elevator? 155 00:07:03,017 --> 00:07:05,422 Whew! It's more like a hell-evator. 156 00:07:06,456 --> 00:07:08,172 Though that shouldn't affect you, Tuck Tuck, 157 00:07:08,173 --> 00:07:10,422 since heat tends to rise. Bwa-dup! 158 00:07:13,936 --> 00:07:16,883 So, Benji, how did it go with Bailey? 159 00:07:16,884 --> 00:07:19,092 I mean, was I right or was I right? 160 00:07:19,093 --> 00:07:21,307 You were so right. We already had lunch 161 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,089 - she's on her way over here for dinner. - Yes. 162 00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:26,320 And if all goes well, I'll be serving her breakfast. 163 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,852 Oh yeah, that's my boy! Yeah! Yeah, you know what? 164 00:07:29,853 --> 00:07:31,231 I probably shouldn't be doing that with my son. 165 00:07:31,232 --> 00:07:32,615 That's weird. Okay. 166 00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:37,432 It's funny, but I already feel like I've known Bailey my whole life. 167 00:07:37,433 --> 00:07:40,220 Knock knock! Whoo! 168 00:07:40,221 --> 00:07:43,001 That elevator is quite the slow cooker. 169 00:07:44,295 --> 00:07:46,268 You should call that thing an oven-ator. 170 00:07:48,154 --> 00:07:50,526 Well, aren't you adorable? 171 00:07:50,527 --> 00:07:52,506 I guess this apartment doesn't have a height restriction. 172 00:07:52,507 --> 00:07:54,812 - Boop boop boop. - (Laughs) 173 00:07:57,024 --> 00:07:58,723 Yo. Yo, isn't she hilarious? 174 00:07:58,724 --> 00:08:02,230 I don't know. It's hard to hear from down here. 175 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:08,228 Bailey, this is Tucker, this is my brother Danny and you know my mom. 176 00:08:08,229 --> 00:08:10,853 - Bons. - Bails. 177 00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:13,467 So can I get you a glass of wine? 178 00:08:13,468 --> 00:08:15,172 Just one? What is this, church? 179 00:08:15,173 --> 00:08:16,563 Oh! 180 00:08:18,824 --> 00:08:21,078 So what do you think? Isn't she great? 181 00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:22,972 (Both laugh) 182 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,421 - (Both snort) - Oh my God. I know, right? 183 00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:29,956 I think you're dating mom. 184 00:08:32,302 --> 00:08:34,383 Both: Don't you just love her? 185 00:08:34,384 --> 00:08:35,845 Jinx! 186 00:08:37,277 --> 00:08:38,967 I don't see it. I don't. 187 00:08:44,099 --> 00:08:47,162 I gotta say, I like a girl who brings her own toothbrush. 188 00:08:47,922 --> 00:08:50,144 Not my first bedroom rodeo, Benji. 189 00:08:51,259 --> 00:08:54,781 Benji? Is there any way you can not call me that? 190 00:08:54,782 --> 00:08:56,599 That's kind of what my mom calls me. 191 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,835 Oh my God, how much do I love her? 192 00:08:58,836 --> 00:09:01,328 It turns out we have the same hair girl, the same pilates girl 193 00:09:01,329 --> 00:09:04,777 and the same nail girl. Her girls are my girls. 194 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,437 It's like we're the same girl. 195 00:09:07,497 --> 00:09:10,569 Yeah, if we could possibly stop talking about my mom, 196 00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:12,362 that would be super helpful. 197 00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,849 You know what else might be helpful? 198 00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:18,689 If I slip out of something comfortable. 199 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:21,409 Bingo. Yeah, that would do it. 200 00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:23,779 - Should I dim the lights? - Don't bother. 201 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,886 I wore my lucky bra for this. 202 00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,626 What you say? 203 00:09:29,697 --> 00:09:32,062 I said come to mama. 204 00:09:32,643 --> 00:09:35,072 - (Screams) - Are you all right? 205 00:09:36,104 --> 00:09:38,155 I don't think I'm ever gonna be all right. 206 00:09:39,081 --> 00:09:40,513 We need to break up. 207 00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:44,205 (Door closes) 208 00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:45,338 Okay, I talked to the body shop 209 00:09:45,339 --> 00:09:46,792 and they said we could have it back by the end of the day. 210 00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:49,956 - Where are the keys? - I hid them where Danny would never look. 211 00:09:53,363 --> 00:09:55,747 I mean, that dude ain't done a dish since he moved in. 212 00:09:55,748 --> 00:09:57,189 You know what I'm saying? 213 00:09:58,863 --> 00:10:00,395 Great, come on, let's get out of here. Awesome. 214 00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:02,332 Oh! 215 00:10:04,623 --> 00:10:06,622 Perfect, you found my keys. 216 00:10:06,623 --> 00:10:09,352 You know what? I've been thinking. I'm being an idiot. 217 00:10:09,353 --> 00:10:12,708 Millions of people drive in this city every day without getting in an accident. 218 00:10:12,709 --> 00:10:16,245 (Laughs) Probably not as many as you think. 219 00:10:17,611 --> 00:10:19,364 - No, not. - Well, Adele and I are going to the beach 220 00:10:19,365 --> 00:10:21,247 with or without you two. It's your call. 221 00:10:21,692 --> 00:10:23,078 Yeah. 222 00:10:23,079 --> 00:10:24,574 (Both mouthing) 223 00:10:25,305 --> 00:10:27,618 Oh well, the beach sounds great, 224 00:10:27,619 --> 00:10:28,963 so we'll meet you by the car. 225 00:10:28,964 --> 00:10:30,693 Yeah, hey, thanks for grabbing everything. 226 00:10:33,961 --> 00:10:36,659 What do you mean you're not gonna see her anymore? 227 00:10:36,660 --> 00:10:39,129 - Don't you find her attractive? - Yeah, I do, 228 00:10:39,521 --> 00:10:41,641 which has it's own set of issues. 229 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,331 Honey, she is the best thing that ever happened to you. 230 00:10:44,332 --> 00:10:47,167 Look, mom, I'm sorry, but I've already told her flat out it's over. 231 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:48,792 Bailey and I are done. 232 00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:50,379 Hey, guys. 233 00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:53,693 Baby, you look so cute in your little uniform. 234 00:10:54,128 --> 00:10:57,749 - What are you doing here? - Just visiting my man at work. 235 00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:59,274 Oh. (Mouths) 236 00:10:59,275 --> 00:11:00,740 Well, I hope you mean this guy, 237 00:11:00,741 --> 00:11:03,429 because if I recall, we decided to stop seeing each other. 238 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,209 No, as I recall, 239 00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:07,684 you decided and now I'm undeciding for you. 240 00:11:07,685 --> 00:11:09,741 Did you miss the part where I said we were done? 241 00:11:09,742 --> 00:11:11,365 Followed by the text that said we were done, 242 00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:12,734 followed by the phone call and email 243 00:11:12,735 --> 00:11:14,563 that I believe were similarly themed? 244 00:11:14,564 --> 00:11:16,098 Ben, you might not know this, 245 00:11:16,099 --> 00:11:18,371 but I'm the best thing that ever happened to you. 246 00:11:18,372 --> 00:11:20,569 But we can talk about it more when you get home from work. 247 00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:23,178 Home? We don't have a home. 248 00:11:23,179 --> 00:11:25,731 Sure we do. I was just there cleaning out some drawers. 249 00:11:28,128 --> 00:11:29,950 Wait, how'd you get in my apartment? 250 00:11:29,951 --> 00:11:31,553 Oh, I made a copy of your keys. 251 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,184 You made a copy of my keys? 252 00:11:34,185 --> 00:11:36,238 Yeah. Oh, and... 253 00:11:37,527 --> 00:11:39,978 Here's your mail. See you later, Benji-boo. 254 00:11:41,207 --> 00:11:42,455 How do you feel about chicken for dinner? 255 00:11:42,456 --> 00:11:45,011 Oh! Never mind, I'll surprise you. 256 00:11:46,558 --> 00:11:49,986 Oh! Come by any time, Bons. We'd love to have you. 257 00:11:54,289 --> 00:11:58,011 Well, I think somebody owes their mother an apology. 258 00:11:58,693 --> 00:12:00,267 She is nothing like me. 259 00:12:00,268 --> 00:12:01,911 She is nuts! 260 00:12:02,929 --> 00:12:04,379 I've gotta get those keys back. 261 00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:05,982 Oh yeah, you've gotta get those keys back. 262 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:11,038 There, super glue and duct tape. 263 00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:13,292 This is never gonna work. 264 00:12:13,293 --> 00:12:15,091 It just needs to get us to the beach. 265 00:12:15,092 --> 00:12:16,680 And then once we're there, we'll be all like, 266 00:12:16,681 --> 00:12:18,743 "oh my God, Danny, somebody sideswiped the car 267 00:12:18,744 --> 00:12:21,170 and then tried to super glue and duct tape it back together." 268 00:12:22,343 --> 00:12:24,161 - Here he comes. - Hey. 269 00:12:24,162 --> 00:12:26,694 Hey, guys, ready to go? Oh my God! 270 00:12:27,592 --> 00:12:28,935 I think I forgot the chips. 271 00:12:29,892 --> 00:12:31,483 All right, that's okay. Who needs 'em? 272 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,629 All right, hop hop, chop chop, 273 00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:34,333 'cause you don't want your mom walking by 274 00:12:34,334 --> 00:12:36,055 and catching you in a great big lie. 275 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,724 - Nope. (Laughs) - Thanks, guys. 276 00:12:37,725 --> 00:12:40,770 - Thank you. - Great. 277 00:12:40,771 --> 00:12:42,745 Oh my God, I think we're pulling it off. 278 00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:44,263 Don't jinx it, don't jinx it. 279 00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:50,161 - (Engine starts) - Riley: Right, here we go. 280 00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,182 - Tucker: Cool. - Bailey! 281 00:12:53,183 --> 00:12:54,412 - Riley: Let's go. - Ready to go? 282 00:12:54,413 --> 00:12:55,709 (Chuckles) 283 00:12:57,965 --> 00:12:59,424 - Hey, what happened to the... - Oh! Look out! 284 00:13:00,421 --> 00:13:02,379 Bailey, are you okay? 285 00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:04,379 (Gasps) Oh my God. 286 00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:08,255 Is this your father's car?! 287 00:13:13,823 --> 00:13:17,375 Okay, you just let us know if you need anything, Bailey-bee. 288 00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:21,771 Pillow, tea, perhaps a bus ticket to crazy town? 289 00:13:22,539 --> 00:13:23,655 Well? 290 00:13:24,728 --> 00:13:26,612 Well, it's just a bruised wrist, 291 00:13:26,613 --> 00:13:28,725 so unfortunately she's gonna make it. 292 00:13:30,545 --> 00:13:33,151 Yo, is it wrong to hit someone with a car 293 00:13:33,152 --> 00:13:35,169 and a restraining order on the same day? 294 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,363 If only it were that simple. 295 00:13:38,364 --> 00:13:40,094 It seems if you break up with her, 296 00:13:40,095 --> 00:13:42,676 she's gonna sue Danny for everything he's worth, 297 00:13:42,677 --> 00:13:45,354 which I'd be fine with if I didn't get 15% off the top. 298 00:13:47,111 --> 00:13:48,630 Mom, you have to fix this. 299 00:13:48,631 --> 00:13:50,868 You're the one that brought itsy-bitsy Bonnie into our lives. 300 00:13:51,807 --> 00:13:53,449 Oh! And... yeah, well, you're the one 301 00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,910 who mowed her down with dad's mistress, 302 00:13:55,911 --> 00:13:58,561 that two-door whore Adrienne. 303 00:13:58,562 --> 00:14:00,587 You know her name is Adele, mom. 304 00:14:00,588 --> 00:14:02,753 - I don't care what her name is! - (Shouting) 305 00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:03,881 I need all of us to focus! 306 00:14:03,882 --> 00:14:05,001 It's not really the problem right now! 307 00:14:06,007 --> 00:14:08,599 Since you seem to have one or two things in common with Bailey, 308 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,145 what would get rid of you? 309 00:14:12,382 --> 00:14:15,476 Well, probably a single dad who works for tips 310 00:14:15,477 --> 00:14:17,747 and lives with a giant and a dwarf! 311 00:14:20,328 --> 00:14:23,160 But since that hasn't worked, I don't know! 312 00:14:23,891 --> 00:14:27,189 Great. So she's the mother of the mother of all crazies. 313 00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:30,177 That's it. 314 00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:33,792 You just have to out-crazy the crazy. 315 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:38,196 - I think I know how to fix this. - You do? 316 00:14:38,197 --> 00:14:41,238 Oh yeah, that Ray Wheeler is gonna rue 317 00:14:41,239 --> 00:14:44,402 the day he tried to hide Annabelle and double-cross me! 318 00:14:44,403 --> 00:14:47,223 - Mom, you know it's "Adele"! - I don't care what her name is! 319 00:14:47,224 --> 00:14:48,397 Okay, mom! 320 00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:52,086 Again, kinda missing the real issue here. 321 00:14:52,087 --> 00:14:54,439 No, I'm not. It's parked right downstairs. 322 00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,496 Well, I think mom's out. 323 00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:03,110 - Now what are we supposed to do? - (Cellphone buzzing) 324 00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,516 It's Riley's phone. 325 00:15:05,432 --> 00:15:07,005 Pete's auto body? 326 00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:11,421 Riley, that girl's body bouncing off the windshield 327 00:15:11,422 --> 00:15:13,547 is the best thing that's every happened to us. 328 00:15:14,465 --> 00:15:16,081 You know, just play it cool 329 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,878 and he'll blame all the damage on her. 330 00:15:18,987 --> 00:15:22,400 Great. You're right. I can do this. 331 00:15:22,401 --> 00:15:24,509 "Scratch? What scratch?" 332 00:15:26,338 --> 00:15:28,102 (Beeps, clatters) 333 00:15:28,103 --> 00:15:29,328 That was the repair guy. 334 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,068 (Panicky) Scratch? What scratch? 335 00:15:32,405 --> 00:15:34,672 The scratch he got when he hit Bailey, 336 00:15:34,978 --> 00:15:37,044 and the scratch that your good friend Riley 337 00:15:37,349 --> 00:15:39,560 already called to have taken care of for you. 338 00:15:39,561 --> 00:15:43,271 Oh yeah, that's me, just always thinking ahead. 339 00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:46,161 So far ahead, you actually called 340 00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,543 - a whole day before the accident? - (Chuckles) 341 00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:50,819 I got nothing. 342 00:15:52,328 --> 00:15:54,871 I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. 343 00:15:55,276 --> 00:15:57,433 Okay, that mailbox just jumped out of nowhere. 344 00:15:58,741 --> 00:16:01,041 I'm sorry, I just... I don't know, I panicked. 345 00:16:01,042 --> 00:16:03,012 I mean, a mailbox is federal property. 346 00:16:03,013 --> 00:16:06,080 I could go to jail. I could end up like Gretchen Schilling, 347 00:16:06,081 --> 00:16:08,480 behind bars with a stainless steel toilet 348 00:16:08,481 --> 00:16:10,933 and... and no hair product. (Breathing heavily) 349 00:16:11,536 --> 00:16:13,257 I wouldn't make it. 350 00:16:13,258 --> 00:16:16,088 I mean, those girls are even crazier than that one. 351 00:16:18,783 --> 00:16:21,043 Oh my God, that's exactly what we need. 352 00:16:21,044 --> 00:16:23,937 - Oh my God, Ben, listen... - No no no no, it's like what mom said, 353 00:16:23,938 --> 00:16:25,877 we need to out-crazy the crazy. 354 00:16:25,878 --> 00:16:27,615 - Where's Gretchen these days? - No. No no no. 355 00:16:27,616 --> 00:16:29,958 Ben, I am not calling the scariest person I know 356 00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:32,059 to come threaten your new roommate. 357 00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:34,926 Oh, so you would rather let your best friend 358 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,257 get dragged into court for something both myself 359 00:16:37,258 --> 00:16:39,279 and the postmaster general 360 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,687 would agree is actually your fault?! 361 00:16:47,556 --> 00:16:49,133 Well, now that I think about it, 362 00:16:49,582 --> 00:16:50,967 her number is still in my phone. 363 00:16:55,279 --> 00:16:56,361 (Rapid knock on door) 364 00:16:58,019 --> 00:16:59,659 Oh, I wonder who that could be. 365 00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:01,826 Are you gentlemen expecting anyone? 366 00:17:01,827 --> 00:17:02,852 (Clears throat) 367 00:17:03,353 --> 00:17:04,978 (Flatly) I know I am not. 368 00:17:08,087 --> 00:17:09,672 Nor am I. 369 00:17:14,132 --> 00:17:16,274 Riley, what are you doing here? Where's Gretchen? 370 00:17:16,275 --> 00:17:18,838 Turns out the number I had was from a stolen phone. 371 00:17:19,952 --> 00:17:22,055 But don't worry. I got this. 372 00:17:22,877 --> 00:17:25,715 (Loudly) Shut up, Wheeler, and let me see my baby. 373 00:17:25,716 --> 00:17:27,066 Mama's home! 374 00:17:27,573 --> 00:17:30,341 Yo, who's the wigstand? 375 00:17:31,956 --> 00:17:34,024 Better question: Who's this? 376 00:17:34,025 --> 00:17:35,992 That's Gretchen, Emma's mom. 377 00:17:35,993 --> 00:17:38,662 Yeah. Yeah, she's been away for like the last six months. 378 00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:42,737 Supposed to be nine but, you know, good behavior. 379 00:17:45,687 --> 00:17:48,601 And how about you get your feet 380 00:17:48,602 --> 00:17:50,239 off my coffee table? 381 00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:56,300 I didn't steal it for you to ruin. 382 00:17:58,587 --> 00:18:01,357 And this is Bailey. She's a... a friend. 383 00:18:01,358 --> 00:18:03,573 (Laughs) Oh, I am a lot more than a friend. 384 00:18:03,574 --> 00:18:06,238 Well, you're not anymore, 'cause now that I'm out, 385 00:18:06,239 --> 00:18:08,429 I am back with my man. 386 00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:09,866 And I'm warning you... 387 00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:11,501 don't get in my way. 388 00:18:16,385 --> 00:18:18,591 - Was that a threat? - Yes. 389 00:18:18,956 --> 00:18:20,600 Yeah, I believe it was. 390 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:24,435 One... that I would take very seriously. 391 00:18:25,376 --> 00:18:27,036 And if I ever... 392 00:18:27,037 --> 00:18:28,416 See you round here again, 393 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:30,684 well, I'm gonna do some bad things, 394 00:18:30,685 --> 00:18:33,828 some very bad things. 395 00:18:34,632 --> 00:18:38,052 (Angrily) Oh yeah? Like what? 396 00:18:38,504 --> 00:18:41,195 Things... that are bad. 397 00:18:42,394 --> 00:18:44,079 Okay, I fixed everything. 398 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,010 Mom, look out. It's Ben's baby mama, Gretchen, 399 00:18:47,011 --> 00:18:49,446 - and she's back from prison. - Yeah. Yeah, watch out, 400 00:18:50,036 --> 00:18:51,750 or she will cut you. 401 00:18:54,165 --> 00:18:56,479 With what, her sharp wit? 402 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,404 (Laughs) Yeah, I think I'm good. 403 00:18:59,182 --> 00:19:01,935 And you, listen up, you little sea monkey. 404 00:19:01,936 --> 00:19:03,497 No, you all listen. 405 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,338 Look, Ben, I know what you're doing. 406 00:19:06,339 --> 00:19:09,056 You could've just broken up with me like a normal person. 407 00:19:09,057 --> 00:19:10,338 Actually, I couldn't. 408 00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:12,590 I tried, like, a gabillion times. 409 00:19:12,591 --> 00:19:14,116 Well, I can take a hint. 410 00:19:14,117 --> 00:19:15,850 Again, I tried. 411 00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:18,592 But don't think I'm leaving quietly. 412 00:19:18,593 --> 00:19:21,292 I am going to sue you so hard 413 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:22,957 you're all gonna feel it! 414 00:19:25,255 --> 00:19:26,354 And to think... 415 00:19:26,704 --> 00:19:29,390 I was gonna make you marry me! 416 00:19:33,592 --> 00:19:37,252 God. You gotta love her spunk, huh? 417 00:19:37,722 --> 00:19:39,492 Mom, you ruined everything! 418 00:19:39,493 --> 00:19:41,248 Riley was about to scare her off! 419 00:19:41,249 --> 00:19:44,796 Really? 'Cause I didn't think it was going that well. 420 00:19:46,317 --> 00:19:47,659 (Scoffs) Are you kidding me? 421 00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,504 Girl, I thought you nailed it. 422 00:19:50,805 --> 00:19:53,793 Right, because Riley is so scary! 423 00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:55,338 Oh, come on! You can't jump all over it like... 424 00:19:55,339 --> 00:19:59,215 - oh, is this about Adele?! - For the love of God, focus! Huh?! 425 00:20:00,894 --> 00:20:04,278 - What are we gonna do?! - Okay, just calm down. 426 00:20:04,279 --> 00:20:07,208 I said I was gonna fix it, and I did. 427 00:20:07,715 --> 00:20:09,269 If there's no car, 428 00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:11,662 there's no crime. 429 00:20:13,549 --> 00:20:16,773 Wait, what do you mean, "if there's no car"? 430 00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,922 It's more of a coffee table now. 431 00:20:21,923 --> 00:20:24,789 Damn. My sunglasses were in there. 432 00:20:25,555 --> 00:20:27,388 What am I supposed to tell dad now? 433 00:20:27,389 --> 00:20:29,397 I'm almost positive he's gonna notice this. 434 00:20:29,398 --> 00:20:31,783 (Laughs) Oh, he definitely will. 435 00:20:31,784 --> 00:20:34,226 Here, quick, take a picture. Okay. 436 00:20:35,094 --> 00:20:37,061 - Ah! - (Phone camera clicking) 437 00:20:37,062 --> 00:20:38,990 All right, take a bunch. I want to make a calendar. 438 00:20:40,644 --> 00:20:42,036 Ooh. Ooh! 439 00:20:42,037 --> 00:20:43,382 I'm sorry, Ray. 440 00:20:43,383 --> 00:20:45,675 Adele got a little Fender bender. 441 00:20:45,676 --> 00:20:46,978 My bad. 442 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,523 9? 443 00:20:50,513 --> 00:20:51,932 9? 444 00:20:52,269 --> 00:20:54,049 Come on, mama needs a 9! 445 00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:55,037 (Clears throat) 446 00:20:55,415 --> 00:20:57,598 Oh, whoa. Nice tan, buddy. 447 00:20:57,599 --> 00:20:59,009 Call me when you get a job. 448 00:21:01,486 --> 00:21:04,564 10? 10? 449 00:21:04,565 --> 00:21:06,451 Where is my perfect 10? 450 00:21:10,749 --> 00:21:12,359 Well, hello. 451 00:21:12,832 --> 00:21:14,677 Bonnie Wheeler. 452 00:21:14,678 --> 00:21:16,626 Looks like we're a perfect match.