1
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,404
(SCREAMS)
2
00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:09,533
God!
3
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,203
Sorry. Sorry.
4
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:14,872
What's happening? I can't
hear, and I'm dying!
5
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,415
Baby, relax. I just
wanted to surprise you.
6
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,678
Open the bottom drawer
and read the cake.
7
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:21,976
(SIGHS)
8
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,920
(BEN READING)
9
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,320
Well, this just
keeps getting weirder.
10
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,961
Because of the merger, schools
have had to make some cuts.
11
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,793
And the first thing to go
was the senior prom.
12
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,163
So, as a last-minute
Hail Mary,
13
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:37,226
the Parks Department is
throwing prom for them.
14
00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:39,328
They also wanted
to cut AP Latin.
15
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:40,839
So I volunteered to teach Latin.
16
00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:43,202
Which reminds me,
I need to learn Latin.
17
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,335
I can't stop thinking about
that job in Chicago,
18
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:47,642
and I think this prom will
be a good distraction.
19
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:51,377
In my senior year, when I couldn't
decide between Indiana and Amherst,
20
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,112
I focused all my energy
on planning my prom.
21
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:54,483
And it was the best prom ever.
22
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:57,250
Plus, I made out with
Harvey from the AV club.
23
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:59,188
Hmm. I think
I'm jealous of Harvey.
24
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,750
You shouldn't be. A few weeks
later, he almost died.
25
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,227
From a VCR electrocution.
26
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,120
Legend has it that he can still
27
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,496
turn on a microwave
just by blinking at it.
28
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,259
The point is, will you
go to the prom with me?
29
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:11,928
Well, I thought you'd never ask.
30
00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:14,336
Because we are nearing 40.
(CHUCKLES)
31
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:15,499
Of course I will.
32
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,304
Yay! Prom!
33
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:28,000
Ripped By mstoll
34
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,525
Okay, we are making
progress, Prom Committee.
35
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,192
Now, our budget
is basically zero,
36
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,634
so we're going to need
to cover all the jobs
37
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:46,535
that we would
normally hire people for.
38
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,540
Tom, you're in charge of music.
39
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,337
Oh, man. Well, all right.
40
00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:53,274
Aw, did you want to DJ, little puppy?
I don't know.
41
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:56,008
I didn't know that little
puppies could operate an iPod
42
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,481
with their little puppy paws.
43
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:59,040
Eww and boo.
44
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,882
This kind of thing is getting
out of hand with you two.
45
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,683
Y'all are on official warning.
46
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:05,155
I did DJ a little
back in the day.
47
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,056
I had a show
called Zoot Suit Wyatt
48
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,560
on Carlton College Radio.
49
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,152
Tuesdays, 3:00 to 5:00 a.m.,
50
00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:11,925
I was the King of Swing.
51
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:14,091
I thought we as a culture
agreed to forget
52
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,566
the year that
everyone was into swing.
53
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,429
Okay, Ben,
you can co-DJ with Tom.
54
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:18,903
What? No!
55
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:20,763
If you eclipse my flavor
in any way,
56
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:21,898
we'll have a problem.
57
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,334
All right, Allison,
you are in charge
58
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:24,501
of choosing the prom theme,
59
00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:26,772
and now, it has to be
perfect and magical.
60
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,914
And look like a million bucks
but cost zero bucks.
61
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,074
So, what do you got?
62
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,584
I was thinking the theme
could be Fairy Tale.
63
00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:34,380
The theater department did
Into the Woods last year,
64
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,319
and we still have the scenery.
65
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:37,788
I laid out some
preliminary plans
66
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,017
in this binder.
67
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:40,818
Wow.
68
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,962
Are those
Jense-Trodder color tabs?
69
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,998
I thought those were discontinued.
They were.
70
00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:48,533
I had to order them through
some Mexican backchannels.
71
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,398
Juan Julio Oficina Supplies?
72
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,562
I thought
they went out of business.
73
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,731
They did, but they opened up
a new one in Oaxaca.
74
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:55,734
What is happening right now?
75
00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,776
Okay. Everybody,
get back to work.
76
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,675
And Allison,
come by my office later,
77
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:00,906
so we can keep crushing it.
78
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,647
All right,
let's go over our set list.
79
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:05,513
Set list? No need.
80
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,553
So, what, you're just gonna
put your iPod on shuffle?
81
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,554
No. But I could.
You want to know why?
82
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:10,645
(SIGHS)
83
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:13,055
Because every single song
you own is a banger?
84
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,457
Every song I download
has to pass
85
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,893
a series of rigorous tests
86
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:19,158
to answer one simple question.
87
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,690
Is it a banger?
88
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,894
How many beats per minute?
How many drops?
89
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,493
How dope are the drops?
90
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,471
Were any acoustic
instruments used?
91
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,564
If so, it is not a banger.
92
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:31,542
I once accidentally downloaded
a Lumineers song.
93
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,136
I had to throw away my whole
computer just to be safe.
94
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,945
I feel like, to me, set list
flow is very important.
95
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,110
I mean, we're basically
vibe curators.
96
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:41,346
Ugh! Oh, no.
97
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:43,855
God, I hope that high school
auditorium is big enough
98
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,653
'cause I'm bringing
10,000 Maniacs.
99
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:49,290
Sometimes, it's really hard
to be friends with you.
100
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:50,727
Thank God we don't have
to be seen together.
101
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,230
Yes, we do. We're co-DJs.
102
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,322
Not anymore.
103
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:54,659
You're working with
104
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,029
DJ RoboDrop.
105
00:03:58,137 --> 00:03:59,297
(SCATTING)
106
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:04,339
Oh, I hope that this prom is
exactly like my senior prom.
107
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,602
Theme?
My Heart Will Go On.
108
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,874
Photo booth with
a Monica Lewinsky lookalike.
109
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,745
After-party,
Megan Rickerson's house.
110
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:13,411
Her parents used to let us
drink as much as we wanted.
111
00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:16,421
That's where we should
have this after-party.
112
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,821
Or, no, we can't. Because
they moved, to prison.
113
00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:20,483
Prom is nothing but a huge party
114
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,757
full of smiling, dancing
people enjoying themselves.
115
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,730
It's literally
my worst nightmare.
116
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:26,822
And I hate punch.
117
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,423
April Ludgate.
118
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:30,335
I'm going to sing to you a song
119
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,132
that I first wrote 15 years ago
120
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:35,800
for my prom date, Sarah Weiss.
121
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:40,004
(SINGING) You're as hot as the
sun But you're as cold as ice
122
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:43,779
Let me take you to paradise
123
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:48,219
I'm going to roll the dice
It will be twice as nice
124
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,122
Sarah... April Ludgate
125
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:57,485
Will you go to prom with me?
126
00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:00,093
Will you?
127
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,124
Fine, I'll go with you.
128
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:04,931
Because Leslie's making us,
and we live together,
129
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:06,596
and we only have
one car right now
130
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:07,901
because you laked mine.
131
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:10,337
What does "laked" mean? I
tried to jump it over a lake!
132
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,401
Why don't you stay out of
our conversations, Larry?
133
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:13,774
Will do. (CHUCKLES)
134
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,676
So, I'm going to
show you some very cool
135
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:19,013
before and after pictures
of Cherryhurst Park,
136
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,679
one of our
greatest accomplishments.
137
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,420
Why are you showing me all this?
138
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:25,716
Because I think you have a
real knack for public service.
139
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,350
We here at the Parks Department
have something called
140
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,453
The April Ludgate Summer
Solstice Druid Festival
141
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,464
and Buffalo Wings
Eating Contest.
142
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,127
I don't know why
I let her name it.
143
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,998
Basically, it's
a summer internship program.
144
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,937
I think you'd be great.
Do you want to work here?
145
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,496
Definitely.
I am totally interested.
146
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:42,666
Great.
147
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,001
Allison Gliffert?
148
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,101
Hi, Mr. Swanson.
149
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,702
You two know each other?
150
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:49,873
Is there some secret society for
the greatest humans on earth?
151
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,542
Do you meet Tom Hanks
and Elena Kagan
152
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:54,415
in the Statue of
Liberty's crown?
153
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:56,921
God, this fake club
I'm inventing is amazing.
154
00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:59,685
Allison's father owns the
hardware store I've been going to
155
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:02,159
since before
Allison was even born.
156
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:04,321
What brings you to the
festering putrid stink-hole
157
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,160
on the armpit of freedom?
158
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:07,730
That's what he calls City Hall.
159
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,933
Leslie was just telling me
about your summer internship,
160
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,231
and I was thinking
about taking it.
161
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,739
(LAUGHING)
No, no, no. No.
162
00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:16,399
I respect your father too much
163
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,273
to let his daughter
work for free
164
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:19,538
for the government.
165
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,603
Why don't you get a paying job
for the summer?
166
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:22,841
Why don't you
shut your mustache?
167
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,611
Sorry.
You know what?
168
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:28,051
Tim Lautner, who owns the
sawmill out on Lowell Drive,
169
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,349
is a personal friend.
170
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,084
He's always looking for
bright young employees
171
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:35,093
to give money to,
in exchange for honest work.
172
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:36,321
That would be awesome.
173
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,454
I definitely need money
for school.
174
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:38,554
LESLIE: Oh, really?
175
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:41,327
Is it worth a few bucks to get a
million splinters in your fingers,
176
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,835
and then cut off
your fingers accidentally?
177
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,427
'Cause that will happen.
178
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:49,797
I have tolerated
Leslie's pro-government ways
179
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:52,538
because her annoying
kindness and generosity
180
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,773
sneakily made me
like her as a person.
181
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,007
But I draw the line
182
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,811
at corrupting America's youth.
183
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:01,843
I'm sure I can get Allison a
job at Tim Lautner's sawmill.
184
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:04,320
I once did him a favor.
185
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,823
I built his sawmill.
186
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,621
I may be leaving
this office soon.
187
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:10,127
I need to plant seeds
for the next generation.
188
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:13,859
Interns become full-time staff,
become department directors.
189
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,527
Circle of life.
The seasons turn.
190
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,570
It's really quite beautiful.
191
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:23,402
And if Ron tries to stop me, he
can eat a big old bowl of butts.
192
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,872
Yeah!
193
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:30,382
Pawnee Class of '99!
194
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:31,943
Ah-huh!
195
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,514
Oh! (GASPS)
196
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,915
Girl, you look creepy.
197
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:39,824
Would you like a drink?
All this stuff is free.
198
00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:40,916
No, it's not.
199
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,392
Why did you pay for a limo?
200
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,622
Because it's prom.
201
00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:45,056
If you don't show up in a limo,
202
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,223
legally, they can't let you in.
203
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,928
Does your mom want
to take pictures?
204
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,092
Yeah, she does.
205
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,196
Hey! Orin.
206
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:54,398
Who's Orin?
I'm April's mom.
207
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,969
You two look adorable.
208
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:59,873
Ugh! Just take the picture,
already, Mom. (CLICKS)
209
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:04,247
My baby is all grown up.
Have her home by 11:00.
210
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,080
Mom, stop embarrassing me.
211
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,450
Say goodbye to your father.
212
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,483
Bye, Dad.
Goodnight, sir.
213
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,626
TOM: This is all the stuff
we have to work with?
214
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,026
Where's everything I requested?
215
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:19,257
Where's my smoke machine?
216
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,697
Where's my girls dressed
in teddy bear costumes?
217
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,757
Where's my Yeezus mountain?
Yeah, tell me about it.
218
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:26,965
I specifically requested elliptical
cartridges for the turntables.
219
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:28,631
How am I supposed to
keep my Husker Du albums
220
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:29,970
in near-mint condish?
221
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:32,408
Hey, I have an idea. Why don't
you throw them in the garbage?
222
00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:34,905
My prom was right after
I got impeached,
223
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:37,814
so I couldn't leave the house
without being egged.
224
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:41,081
But my parents threw me a prom
in our living room.
225
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:44,013
I think I'm still
messed up from it.
226
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,418
I was actually only at
my prom for 15 minutes.
227
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,323
By the time I got
my Armani suit pressed
228
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:51,227
and got the little dimple
on my tie just right,
229
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,696
it was 11:45 p.m.
230
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:56,497
My date was pretty pissed,
but I looked fly as hell.
231
00:08:58,137 --> 00:08:59,627
Leslie, thanks again.
232
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,605
We just wouldn't have
had a prom without you.
233
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,767
This is A-plus work.
234
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:07,040
A-plus? Thank you, Principal Russell.
Can I get that in writing?
235
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,445
Oh, Leslie, you haven't
changed since high school.
236
00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:10,607
(GIGGLES)
237
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,241
I can't believe
he gave you an A-plus.
238
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,582
Oh, did he? I didn't
even notice. No bigs.
239
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,281
Listen, Allison,
I have a question for you
240
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,947
that's very important
and very serious.
241
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,491
Listen to me closely.
(SUCKING)
242
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,424
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Will you help
me orchestrate the balloon drop?
243
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:23,722
(LAUGHING)
244
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,721
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Ms. Knope, it'd be my honor.
245
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,232
Oh! Hurray!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
246
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:29,960
Allison.
(GROANS)
247
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:33,335
I was subcontracted by the government
to construct a lighting rig.
248
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,203
Would you like to help me
screw some angle irons
249
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,798
onto some two-by-fours?
250
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:37,968
I'll give you $40.
251
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,102
Yeah. Sure.
252
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:40,771
I'll just be over here
having fun.
253
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:41,835
See you soon!
254
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,173
I know what you're doing, Ron.
255
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,774
And I will defeat you.
Mark my words.
256
00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:49,787
Stop wasting helium. It is intended
for welding and filling airships.
257
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,682
I attended prom
with Susan Hofler.
258
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,021
Picked her up in my truck,
259
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,790
we slow-danced to
a Merle Haggard song,
260
00:09:57,863 --> 00:10:00,923
and then I left early to go
to my shift at the quarry.
261
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:02,862
I was 12 years old.
262
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:07,871
Never went again.
Felt like I had outgrown it.
263
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,007
(GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING)
264
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,968
Well, we did it.
We went to prom.
265
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:14,137
Yay! Let's go now.
266
00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:17,842
No. What, are you kidding? This is awesome.
Look around.
267
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:18,974
The bloom of youth,
268
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:23,645
like flowers on the sunset
of an eagle's poetry.
269
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:25,550
Andy, I hate teenagers.
270
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,355
If you give this a chance, you're
going to love it. I promise.
271
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:31,225
It's like the movie Expendables 2.
First time, hated it.
272
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,265
Second time, hated it.
273
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,698
Third time, it was okay.
274
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:39,236
But then, the fourth, fifth, sixth,
seventh, tenth time I watched it,
275
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,738
I realized something.
276
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,498
It's not good.
It's not a good movie.
277
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:47,270
Now that I've convinced you,
why don't we go dance?
278
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:49,743
I'm going to go to
the girls' bathroom
279
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,339
to check the trash cans
for babies,
280
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:52,884
but you can dance if you want.
281
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,614
Really? I love you.
Thank you. Yeah!
282
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,248
Look out!
283
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,722
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
284
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,791
Hey, no one's
really feeling this.
285
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,955
All right.
Not a 2 Chainz crowd.
286
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:06,589
I'll throw on some Yeezy
in a second.
287
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,099
Jeezy? Weezy?
288
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,106
Oh, you want some of
that classic stuff.
289
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,141
How about I break you off
some of that Ja Rule?
290
00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:17,266
Who's Ja Rule?
291
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:22,145
What? How do you...
What? Who's, what?
292
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:23,476
The stuff you're playing
is so old,
293
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,676
it's probably trinking
on GrizzleDump.
294
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:28,853
Hey, what's GrizzleDump? And
why is trinking on it bad?
295
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:30,582
Oh, my God.
296
00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:31,918
I don't know
what's cool anymore!
297
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:35,525
What's GrizzleDump, Ben?
What's GrizzleDump?
298
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:41,599
So, have you ever pulled
a ceremonial cord before?
299
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:42,827
There's a little trick to it.
300
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,199
You want to hold it,
not too tight,
301
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,897
sort of like a firm handshake.
302
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:49,998
And then, move towards the
ground in a rope-pulling motion.
303
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,938
So, just pull the rope?
That's right.
304
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:55,074
Thanks, Leslie.
For this,
305
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:57,340
and for making prom happen
in the first place.
306
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,610
Oh, you don't have to thank me.
307
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:00,413
Working for the government
is its own reward.
308
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:01,748
Run, Allison, run.
309
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,482
You're wasting
your time, Leslie.
310
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,547
Allison and I already had
a good talk
311
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:07,888
about the power of
the hard-earned dollar.
312
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:08,949
Don't listen to him.
313
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,222
Now, when you pull the rope,
314
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:11,756
don't look at the balloons.
315
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:15,028
Look at the faces of the
people as the balloons drop.
316
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:17,626
That's what government is about.
Look at the faces.
317
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:21,139
No, look at that cage that is
holding all of those balloons.
318
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,835
I assembled that cage
and was paid for my labor,
319
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:26,810
and I will use the money to buy
shelter, fuel, and medicine.
320
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:27,937
Watch the cage.
321
00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:29,640
Pull the rope.
Watch the faces.
322
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:30,807
Watch the cage.
323
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:31,907
Watch the faces.
324
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:33,279
Uh...
325
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,851
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
326
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,617
Congratulations, Ron.
You've ruined prom.
327
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:40,157
Everybody's
having a terrible time.
328
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,824
(ALL CHEERING)
329
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:47,495
I didn't go to my prom. I was
dating an older fellow back then.
330
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,157
Like I'm gonna dance
with a bunch of kids
331
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:50,827
while he's coaching
Duke to the Final Four.
332
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:52,529
I just want to go home,
333
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,165
but I feel bad because Andy's
having such a good time.
334
00:12:58,844 --> 00:12:59,902
(LAUGHING)
335
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:02,914
How can I love someone when
I hate everything he loves?
336
00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:03,971
That's not true.
337
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:06,916
He loves a lot of dumb stuff,
but he loves you the most.
338
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,920
If something's bothering
you, just tell him.
339
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,717
It's always better to be direct.
340
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,519
Hey, girl.
Are you ready to go?
341
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:14,115
I feel like I told you
to wait in the car.
342
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:15,822
Yeah.
343
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,989
See? Be direct.
344
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,526
(LAUGHING)
345
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,164
Yeah!
You're finished, Knope.
346
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,499
I just spoke with Tim
Lautner from the sawmill
347
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:29,939
on my mobile telephone,
348
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:32,477
and he's offering
Allison a paying job.
349
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,378
She'll be assistant to the head mulcher.
Beat that.
350
00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,074
First of all, your
telephone is ridiculous.
351
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,810
And second of all,
I already beat it.
352
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,146
She's going to
take that internship.
353
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:42,049
She pulled the rope.
There's no turning back.
354
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:46,956
Leslie. Mr. Swanson. May I see
both of you in my office?
355
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:48,757
Now.
356
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:54,690
It has come to my attention that both
of you have been harassing Allison
357
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,530
about her summer
employment decisions.
358
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,399
I wouldn't say harassing
359
00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:00,665
so much as
persistently tormenting.
360
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:02,707
I am disappointed
in you, Leslie.
361
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,010
No! Don't be
disappointed in me.
362
00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:06,510
I've never had
a principal or a teacher
363
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:07,637
be disappointed in me.
364
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,476
I'm not sure that
I'm equipped to handle it.
365
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:11,573
Whatever is going on
between you two and Allison
366
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,379
ends right now.
367
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:15,682
This is supposed to be
a fun event for the kids.
368
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:19,246
You're absolutely right, and
I will bow out immediately.
369
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:20,622
Thank you.
370
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,921
I think the only thing
that matters is
371
00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:25,987
whatever A-pluses may or may
not have been handed out,
372
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,932
you know, are still in
effect, in perpetuity.
373
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:32,029
I have your word then.
This ends now?
374
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:34,268
Absolutely.
375
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:36,063
Attention, everyone.
376
00:14:36,141 --> 00:14:40,703
Now it is time for the most magical
moment of any high school prom.
377
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,704
The announcement
of the winner of
378
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:45,648
the Parks and Recreation's
coveted summer internship.
379
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:52,855
Without further ado, help me
congratulate Allison Gliffert.
380
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:54,119
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
381
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,883
Okay,
a little music here, maybe?
382
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,020
It would probably just ruin the
moment with something lame.
383
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,361
Leslie, I. I told you. I don't
know what I'm doing this summer.
384
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:02,127
That's okay.
I know what you're doing.
385
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,259
You're gonna
take this internship,
386
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:04,734
you're gonna fall in love
with public service,
387
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:05,861
you're gonna rise
through the ranks,
388
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,906
you'll take over Ron's job
as Parks Director,
389
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,270
you'll win a seat in Congress,
390
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,172
and then you and I will run
against each other as President.
391
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:12,676
But right before
we find out who won,
392
00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:15,776
I'm going to pat you on the back
and say, "It's your turn, kid."
393
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,177
Sorry, children.
Forget this happened.
394
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:22,687
Continue with your awkward,
close-quarters gyrating.
395
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:27,092
And if this evening you decide to
have sex, use protection, please!
396
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,589
Dude, if you're not going to
play anything, I'm stepping in.
397
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,099
Go ahead. Play whatever you want.
Can't be any worse than this.
398
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:36,631
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
399
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:43,900
Hey, I love this song!
400
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,204
You actually like this?
401
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,006
Yeah, dude!
It's classic rock!
402
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:50,707
Well, there's more where
that came from, snoopies.
403
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,248
Sorry. Tried to use slang.
That just came out.
404
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,254
I only listen to CDs.
405
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,654
It's the way music like
this was meant to be heard.
406
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,954
But it's not even
Auto-Tuned.
407
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,322
Where did you get that dress?
408
00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:05,954
I was buried in it.
409
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,527
Babe, huge news.
410
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:13,536
I just got us invited to
Damian Keating's barn party.
411
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,305
He's captain of the soccer team.
412
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:19,572
And he has a fake ID, so I think
he can get us all free beer.
413
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:21,777
What's wrong?
414
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:26,177
There's cupcakes and music.
Why aren't you having fun?
415
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:29,414
Because this prom reminds me
416
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,615
that you had, like, a million
friends in high school
417
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,817
and everyone
thought you were awesome,
418
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,718
and I spent four years
making fun of everyone
419
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,628
and hiding mops so the janitor
would think he was going insane.
420
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:40,926
If we went to
high school together,
421
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,194
we would've
never started dating,
422
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:45,964
which means that we would've
never gotten married.
423
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:47,665
And I don't like
thinking about that.
424
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:51,870
Hey, maybe we wouldn't have gotten
together if we were in high school.
425
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:55,209
But that's because kids in
high school are idiots.
426
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:58,975
The only thing that matters is that
we found each other right now.
427
00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:00,712
And it's the best.
428
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,952
You know what?
Let's bail.
429
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,889
We've got that limo
for three more hours.
430
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:10,161
I think the extra length can
help us get over that lake.
431
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:14,397
No. Let's stay.
I'll have fun. I promise.
432
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,292
I have never told you this,
433
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,134
but I actually
have a 10-point scale
434
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,003
for how insane you are being.
435
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:27,142
I observe your behavior, and if it's
a five or below, I say nothing.
436
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,971
Smart.
Saves a lot of time.
437
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,107
If it reaches a six,
438
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:32,912
like, for example, the incident
439
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,180
with the girls' soccer
uniforms back in '05...
440
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:37,984
They wrote all of
the team names in pink.
441
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,319
Nobody told them to do that.
442
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,757
I try to steer
you back to safety.
443
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,327
A seven is when I lock you in
your office until you cool down.
444
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,127
This Allison Gliffert thing
may have hit an eight.
445
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,864
I have the police
on stand-by.
446
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,761
It's your move.
447
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:56,033
I'm thinking of leaving Pawnee.
448
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,470
Moving to Chicago.
449
00:17:58,544 --> 00:17:59,977
I just need to make sure
450
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:03,310
that the future is secure
around here when I leave.
451
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:04,474
You know?
452
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,951
Allison would become April, and
then April would become me.
453
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:09,481
I mean, let's face it, Ron.
454
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,989
I love you, but you're
hopeless without me.
455
00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:16,392
Blueprints for the future
are a fool's errand.
456
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,562
They're like
blueprints for a house.
457
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:19,722
Nice to have,
458
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:21,231
but any foreman
with half a brain
459
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,699
doesn't need to look at them.
460
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,370
One day, this year
or maybe the next,
461
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,837
you're going to
be somewhere else.
462
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,139
So enjoy yourself now.
463
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,406
Damn it.
464
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,172
I just wish once
465
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,716
you would say something
stupid so I could ignore it.
466
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,588
Attention, please.
Well, the votes are in.
467
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:47,625
And your Pawnee High Prom
King and Queen are
468
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,858
Lucy Taylor and Andy Dwyer!
469
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:53,964
What?
I broke the box
470
00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,057
and I threw away all the votes
and I voted for you 1,000 times.
471
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,700
Why don't you get on
up there, King Dwyer?
472
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:01,432
Not without my queen.
473
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:09,003
Hi, Pawnee High! As your
Prom King, I am your ruler.
474
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:10,539
(ALL LAUGHING)
475
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:11,913
Silence!
476
00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:16,111
My first decree of power
is to declare
477
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:20,124
that the Prom Queen shall
be my wife, April Ludgate,
478
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,853
who is the best thing
that's ever happened to me,
479
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,225
who came to prom
even though she hates it.
480
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:26,355
Give me this.
You... Always next year.
481
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:27,955
No, there isn't.
I'm a senior.
482
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,058
This is your wife?
How old are you?
483
00:19:30,135 --> 00:19:32,399
He's 33 and I'm 47/immortal.
484
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,367
Get out.
High school forever!
485
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,531
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
486
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:39,576
Hey, you're having fun now.
487
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,374
I rigged an election and
got kicked out of prom.
488
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,380
I can get on board with that.
489
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,007
(ALL CHEERING)
490
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,923
My life is over. I'm
officially old and uncool.
491
00:19:56,995 --> 00:20:00,487
I might as well start wearing a
plaid shirt and a tie and khakis
492
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:01,725
and whatever shoes
you're wearing.
493
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,491
Look, the fact that you don't
know what high schoolers are into
494
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:06,037
doesn't make you uncool.
495
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,901
It makes you
a normal human adult.
496
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,167
You haven't had time to keep up
497
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:12,176
'cause the last few years, you
started two different businesses.
498
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,336
I guess that's true.
499
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,812
Richard Branson and Mark Cuban
are too busy making deals
500
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,872
to keep up with
what the kids are into.
501
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,679
How else you explain
their terrible haircuts?
502
00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:23,187
And, hey, you may be old, but
you'll never be as old as me.
503
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:25,246
Yeah. You're old as (BLEEP).
504
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:27,551
Thanks, Ben.
505
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:28,650
Glad I could help.
506
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,125
(GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING)
507
00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:36,526
Allison, we wanted to apologize
for acting so bananas.
508
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,763
You just have so much
promise, we got excited.
509
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:39,929
You're a good kid.
510
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,303
And whatever you choose,
you'll be great at it.
511
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,535
I have to say,
I admire you both.
512
00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:45,702
You were right, Leslie.
513
00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:48,177
Watching all those happy
faces, it felt amazing.
514
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,216
But it was really nice to build
something and get paid for it.
515
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:53,476
(SIGHS) Ron, she is so
thoughtful and grounded.
516
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:54,541
Get her away from me
517
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,485
or I'm going to kidnap her and
try to mentor her to death.
518
00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:59,183
Oh, let me introduce you
to my boyfriend.
519
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:01,926
Greg Pikitis?
520
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,393
What up, Knope?
521
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:05,430
Hello, Gregory.
522
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:06,725
You guys know each other?
523
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:08,390
You might say that.
524
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:09,525
Come on, baby.
525
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,091
Let's get out of here.
526
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:13,367
That's that horrible kid
who used to prank us
527
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,167
all the time, right?
(SIGHS)
528
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,264
Offer is off the table.
529
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:18,172
She is a terrible person
with terrible judgment.
530
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:24,942
Pikitis!
531
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:35,500
Ripped By mstoll