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Yeah, how ya doin'?
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00:00:25,977 --> 00:00:28,977
♪ The Simpsons 25x17 ♪
Luca$
Original Air Date on April 6, 2014
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00:00:28,990 --> 00:00:32,190
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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H-Hey, what?
5
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Oh! Oh, cleats!
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Homie, what happened?
7
00:00:43,592 --> 00:00:46,538
Uh... maybe some
easy-listening music
8
00:00:46,544 --> 00:00:48,698
will make you feel
better about the story.
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00:00:48,719 --> 00:00:50,611
Turn on 89.9.
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00:00:52,637 --> 00:00:56,284
Like most of my problems,
it all started at Moe's...
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00:00:56,772 --> 00:01:00,582
All right, so the rules are every
time the news guy says "senator,"
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we got to take a drink.
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00:01:02,015 --> 00:01:05,522
Huh. It'll be nice to let someone else
decide when I drink-- too much pressure.
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00:01:06,996 --> 00:01:08,669
Uh, yeah, Channel
Six tip line?
15
00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:11,349
I just caught two senators
doin' it in the alley.
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00:01:11,369 --> 00:01:13,582
And me?
I'm just a reliable source.
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Not "sauce," "source."
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Source! S-A-U-R-C-E!
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We have heard from a
very reliable sauce
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news involving
multiple senators.
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I'm going to read a
list of senators,
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with possibly more
senators to be named later
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by other senators:
Senator Abercrombie,
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00:01:30,593 --> 00:01:33,143
Senator Billingsley,
Senator Beaumont...
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00:01:36,178 --> 00:01:38,998
Hmm? Oh, damn, the
plaster's flaking again.
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Once intoxicated, we
had a great idea.
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Hey! Swings!
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I'm a kid again!
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Oh... gah...
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I'll save you!
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00:01:55,945 --> 00:01:58,225
Oh, the only
way out is in!
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00:01:58,245 --> 00:02:01,932
Hey, look at me!
I'm going up a slide!
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00:02:01,952 --> 00:02:04,333
Homer! Homer!
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00:02:04,373 --> 00:02:06,153
Best recess ever!
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00:02:07,631 --> 00:02:08,431
Whoa.
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Help me, guys! Guys?
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Don't worry, Homer,
I'll call the cops!
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I'll write my senator.
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- Senator!
- Senator!
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Oh, am I gonna die on a playground,
like some uncoordinated child?
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But I did learn something
from all this:
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The sprinklers in this
park come on at 3:00 a.m.
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Hey, thanks for throwing
the ball back. Really.
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I'll come back with
the fire truck.
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I just have to get the
kids to school first.
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Oh, are the kids with you?
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- Hi, Dad.
- Homer.
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00:02:42,577 --> 00:02:45,011
Hey, guys! Why are you
ducked-down like that?
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00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:47,000
Don't want to be seen with you
when you're hitting bottom.
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00:02:47,013 --> 00:02:48,700
At least we hope
it's bottom.
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00:02:48,718 --> 00:02:51,458
Don't worry, it's
bottom, all right.
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00:02:56,485 --> 00:02:58,605
And that's why I
was tardy today.
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00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:00,798
And with that tardiness,
you have at last crossed
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00:03:00,811 --> 00:03:03,453
the boundary where I can legally
apply physical discipline.
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00:03:03,466 --> 00:03:05,185
Willie, cut me a switch!
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00:03:05,214 --> 00:03:07,849
What about the one
your ma used on you?
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00:03:07,869 --> 00:03:09,702
It, uh, broke
on my buttocks.
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00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:13,836
Serves you right for eating
jam straight out of the jar.
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00:03:15,183 --> 00:03:17,737
Damn it! That's not
even a swivel chair.
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Skate, skate as
fast as you can.
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00:03:21,673 --> 00:03:24,542
But I'll catch you--
I'm the Principal Man!
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That's the kind of
education you're missing.
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Oh, no. Uphill. The one
place my car can't go.
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Uh, would you
like a quote?
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00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,864
Uh, yes.
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00:03:42,885 --> 00:03:44,965
"Some cause happiness
wherever they go;
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Others whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde.
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Uh, P.S. Your
car is totaled.
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Whew! Safe.
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Oh, not totally.
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00:03:56,899 --> 00:03:59,272
Whoa! What-what are
you doing in here?
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Hiding from the cops.
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00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:03,203
Well, I can't have cops
sniffing around here.
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00:04:03,223 --> 00:04:06,250
- Some of them might be girls.
- Can't I just stay a little?
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I only committed this
robbery to help my kid.
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00:04:09,345 --> 00:04:12,387
See, this is Jeremy.
I need to get him braces.
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00:04:12,408 --> 00:04:16,301
I always thought that if I'd had
braces, I'd have smiled more.
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00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,494
Hey, I bet you have
a great smile.
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00:04:18,514 --> 00:04:20,808
- Huh?
- Ay, caramba!
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00:04:20,836 --> 00:04:24,151
Bart, Bart, we're in
whatchamacallit... a pursuit!
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00:04:24,173 --> 00:04:27,108
So why'd you come here?
I run a respectable tree house.
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00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:28,539
Just wondering if
you've seen anything.
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Uh, word is you'll, uh...
you'll snitch for candy.
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You can't buy me with a
candy bar that has coconut.
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00:04:34,253 --> 00:04:37,111
Then maybe this is more your...
neighborhood.
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00:04:37,132 --> 00:04:39,500
Nice real estate.
You got a deal.
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00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,086
So, what do you know?
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00:04:41,104 --> 00:04:44,921
I saw a guy with a gun
and a snake tattoo...
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say he was gonna hide out
on top of Mount Springfield.
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Mount Springfield, eh?
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00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:53,373
Strap on your
crampons, boys!
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00:04:53,395 --> 00:04:55,155
Eddie! Prepare my litter!
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00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:59,624
Lou, you are responsible for my
oxygen, food, water and cleaning!
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00:04:59,654 --> 00:05:01,433
- You have to clean me.
- I clean you. Yeah.
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00:05:01,457 --> 00:05:03,770
Dude, thank you.
Why did you save me?
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00:05:03,783 --> 00:05:05,669
We outlaws have
to stick together.
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00:05:05,694 --> 00:05:07,451
Outlaw? You?
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00:05:07,464 --> 00:05:12,302
Stolen bowling shoes, 3-D glasses, Krusty
standee and this "cage" for my pet.
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00:05:12,321 --> 00:05:14,282
Oh. What do you feed him?
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00:05:14,294 --> 00:05:15,901
My A.D.D. meds.
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00:05:18,356 --> 00:05:22,113
Um, listen, would you like two
tickets to the school musical?
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My son plays the butcher.
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In Fiddler on the Roof.
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I'm busy that night.
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Yeah, lucky you.
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Huh?
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Are you okay?
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Don't put more in there!
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Going for the record.
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What record?
Stupidest death?
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Aah!
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Blagh!
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Merci beaucoup!
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- Oh, well, you're very wel...
- That's French for "hello."
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- Actually, I think it...
- Lucas Bortner, competitive eater.
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A fat kid with a dream?
I can't compete with that.
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What does a competitive
eater eat?
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All the glamour foods: Pizza,
boiled eggs, chicken wings
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00:06:08,415 --> 00:06:11,943
and the big enchilada, which
is not enchiladas but hot dogs.
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69 hot dogs is the current record.
As the great Kobayashi says,
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"Detekurutoki itaiyo."
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What does that mean?
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"That's gonna
hurt coming out."
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Is Kobayashi the
number one, um, uh...
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The correct term
is "gurgitator."
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I won't be using the
correct term then.
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Virtually everyone uses
his technique: Japanesing.
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Shall I demonstrate?
129
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Um, why don't I just go sit
alone... Oh, you're doing it.
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Ready, set...
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Japanese!
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That's not going down.
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- This happens from time to time.
- Maybe this isn't the sport for you.
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It's not a sport.
It's my life.
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Aw, he's sweet.
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What am I doing?
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He's just Ralph with a dream.
The dream of not ralphing.
138
00:07:00,977 --> 00:07:04,367
But I'm sure I could totally
change and fix him.
139
00:07:04,387 --> 00:07:07,217
- Can I join you for lunch?
- Um, sure.
140
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- How many whole pizzas would you like?
- Um, can I just have a slice?
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Interesting technique.
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Whoa.
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You didn't tell me you
had a PlayStadium 4!
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00:07:19,768 --> 00:07:22,462
It's the first
I've seen it.
145
00:07:22,481 --> 00:07:24,851
Something's fishy, Bart.
146
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Where's the gift receipt?
147
00:07:26,869 --> 00:07:29,805
Where's the packet of desiccant
that says "Do not eat"?
148
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:32,498
And, believe me,
you shouldn't.
149
00:07:32,514 --> 00:07:35,975
I have a feeling this
PlayStadium was liberated
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00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:39,844
from its previous owner and
given to me in gratitude.
151
00:07:39,857 --> 00:07:42,904
Liberated? You
mean "stolen"?
152
00:07:42,917 --> 00:07:45,294
You can't spell "crime"
without "me."
153
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C-R-I...
154
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There it is, at the end!
155
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Oh, hi. Is-is Lisa home?
156
00:07:53,686 --> 00:07:56,486
Yes, she is. And
who are you?
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00:07:56,912 --> 00:07:57,973
Lucas.
158
00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:00,972
It's pronounced "Luca-dollar."
That's my competition name.
159
00:08:00,998 --> 00:08:02,545
I'm a competitive eater.
160
00:08:02,571 --> 00:08:04,444
Competitive eater?
Did I hear right?
161
00:08:04,469 --> 00:08:08,078
- I could be a competitive eater?
- No! You didn't hear anything!
162
00:08:08,097 --> 00:08:09,984
Yes, I did! I heard
"competitive eater"!
163
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:13,138
It's for people who haven't
had heart problems.
164
00:08:13,151 --> 00:08:15,601
Then that makes me the Jackie
Robinson of the sport,
165
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:18,641
and you are the racist
Philadelphia manager.
166
00:08:18,661 --> 00:08:21,644
Quit comparing me
to Ben Chapman.
167
00:08:21,664 --> 00:08:24,154
I will when you open
your mind to change!
168
00:08:24,174 --> 00:08:25,621
Oh...!
169
00:08:25,954 --> 00:08:29,494
So, what should we practice:
Um, Vienna sausage;
170
00:08:29,507 --> 00:08:31,979
Blueberry pie, short form;
171
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,040
Oatmeal, long course;
172
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Freestyle baked beans;
Catfish-- ooh!
173
00:08:36,889 --> 00:08:39,115
- Cow brains.
- Beans, beans!
174
00:08:39,134 --> 00:08:40,387
We'll do beans.
175
00:08:42,547 --> 00:08:45,494
Hmm. Never saw the pork
eat the beans before.
176
00:08:47,685 --> 00:08:52,539
Actually, I'm a little
surprised Lisa likes him.
177
00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:56,889
Really! Justin Blobber over there
doesn't remind you of anyone?
178
00:08:56,902 --> 00:09:00,125
$800 to cut me out
of that slide?!
179
00:09:00,144 --> 00:09:02,817
It's all about the money
with those firemen.
180
00:09:02,837 --> 00:09:05,537
Women marry their
fathers, Marge.
181
00:09:05,556 --> 00:09:09,015
So you just might be meeting
your future "ton-in-law."
182
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,381
Ton-in-law.
183
00:09:12,397 --> 00:09:14,364
God bless us.
184
00:09:15,604 --> 00:09:17,604
You can do better.
185
00:09:26,993 --> 00:09:30,513
My sisters are nuts. I'm happy
being married to Homer.
186
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,613
Most of the time.
187
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,903
Ooh! What the...?
188
00:10:07,931 --> 00:10:09,018
Meep, meep!
189
00:10:18,047 --> 00:10:19,748
Hmm...
190
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:24,268
Maybe you're not cut out
for competitive eating.
191
00:10:24,288 --> 00:10:26,221
Are you calling
me not fat?
192
00:10:26,241 --> 00:10:28,295
No, I'm just... I...
193
00:10:28,308 --> 00:10:31,086
Maybe you just haven't
found the right food, huh?
194
00:10:31,093 --> 00:10:33,328
- How 'bout ice cream?
- Yes!
195
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:36,115
I will lay some
hurt on that cream.
196
00:10:36,141 --> 00:10:40,254
Oh, my God! Brain freeze!
Oh, my God.
197
00:10:40,274 --> 00:10:42,645
Kick me in the head
till I pass out.
198
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:47,781
Harder! I'm still conscious!
You must kick me harder.
199
00:10:52,841 --> 00:10:56,566
Okay, honey, I made you pork
chops just like you like 'em.
200
00:10:56,592 --> 00:10:58,493
- Twenty.
- Thanks, babe.
201
00:10:58,513 --> 00:11:01,450
Sorry you had to drop out of
college to feed me full-time.
202
00:11:01,464 --> 00:11:03,308
Now give us a kiss.
203
00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:13,738
What the...?
204
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,843
Oh, yawn.
205
00:11:16,859 --> 00:11:19,790
Another freebie.
Better be a 64 gig.
206
00:11:20,816 --> 00:11:22,704
Huh? It's full of lame apps:
207
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:26,032
Bully Avoider, Nosebook,
Insta-Grandma.
208
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:28,455
This was stolen from Milhouse!
209
00:11:28,468 --> 00:11:29,935
From my backpack.
210
00:11:29,948 --> 00:11:32,173
Where Puppy
Goo-Goo sleeps.
211
00:11:32,186 --> 00:11:35,415
Maybe it's time to tell me
exactly what's going on.
212
00:11:35,441 --> 00:11:39,632
Relax. Listen to the music
of this bubble game.
213
00:11:42,756 --> 00:11:45,800
So peaceful.
214
00:11:45,832 --> 00:11:47,605
No! I won't let this go!
215
00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:50,927
It's time you told me how you've
been getting all this stuff.
216
00:11:52,065 --> 00:11:55,903
I helped Snake out of a jam so
he paid me back in stolen stuff.
217
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:59,536
It was an honorable arrangement. But
I never thought he'd steal from you.
218
00:11:59,549 --> 00:12:06,235
Snake, eh? I never would've
suspected the one criminal in town.
219
00:12:08,831 --> 00:12:11,460
You seem stressed. You want
to suck some Squishee?
220
00:12:11,466 --> 00:12:12,979
Sure.
221
00:12:12,992 --> 00:12:15,993
- Mmm!
- Careful. It's uncut syrup.
222
00:12:16,006 --> 00:12:18,115
They give it to horses
before they race.
223
00:12:24,937 --> 00:12:27,250
Jailbird, A Snake.
224
00:12:27,270 --> 00:12:30,683
That's his real name. Albert
Knickerbocker Aloysius Snake--
225
00:12:30,696 --> 00:12:32,597
has been arrested for a series
of thefts and may be
226
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,186
put to death under a
controversial new statute.
227
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,640
Yeah, we had a law stating
"Three strikes and you're out."
228
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:43,239
But I thought it was "You're
out." So I let people go.
229
00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:46,759
So now it's "Four
balls and you walk.
230
00:12:46,779 --> 00:12:51,230
Right to the electric chair."
It's, uh, much clearer, Kent.
231
00:12:51,263 --> 00:12:53,086
Bart, I'm so sorry.
232
00:12:53,099 --> 00:12:56,286
I just wanted to ruin
his life, not end it.
233
00:12:56,298 --> 00:12:58,165
You ratted him out?
234
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,685
- He's got a kid.
- A kid?!
235
00:13:00,704 --> 00:13:03,012
I was crushed when
I lost my dad
236
00:13:03,018 --> 00:13:05,846
and all he did was move
to the Holiday Inn.
237
00:13:05,866 --> 00:13:09,678
I can still see him
smoking on the balcony.
238
00:13:09,702 --> 00:13:11,862
He looked like he
missed something.
239
00:13:11,879 --> 00:13:13,919
Maybe me.
240
00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:16,473
So you see, we can't
let Jailbird fry.
241
00:13:16,486 --> 00:13:19,252
Time for the
Sleepover Detectives.
242
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,812
I didn't say there'd
be a sleepover.
243
00:13:20,831 --> 00:13:24,098
Too bad, 'cause I'm wearing
my pajamas under my clothes.
244
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:28,745
And my swimsuit under those.
One day it'll all pay off.
245
00:13:30,849 --> 00:13:33,849
Oh! There's my magazine.
246
00:13:33,862 --> 00:13:38,138
Why, look at this. "What every
father should do for his daughter."
247
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:41,526
Oh, Marge, if you want me to
do something, just tell me.
248
00:13:41,538 --> 00:13:43,306
Don't hide behind a magazine.
249
00:13:43,319 --> 00:13:46,005
Right. Right, right, right.
According to Judy Kleinsmith,
250
00:13:46,018 --> 00:13:48,145
a professional
freelance writer,
251
00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:50,501
fathers should take their
daughters out on little
252
00:13:50,514 --> 00:13:53,954
dinner dates and treat them
like a gentleman would.
253
00:13:53,972 --> 00:13:57,784
Then she'll expect the same
from the men in her future.
254
00:13:57,810 --> 00:14:02,390
Wait, let me get this straight: Sit
and eat? That's my punishment?
255
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:06,109
It's not a punishment. But
you can't just eat dinner.
256
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:09,648
You have to be gentlemanly
and attentive.
257
00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:11,481
Oh, I can fake attentive.
258
00:14:11,494 --> 00:14:14,096
I've been watching a football
game this whole discussion.
259
00:14:14,109 --> 00:14:17,514
Not fake attentive.
Real attentive.
260
00:14:17,534 --> 00:14:21,677
Okay, okay. I'll make it fun.
I'll take her to that crab place.
261
00:14:21,702 --> 00:14:26,049
- All the crabs you could smash.
- You know Lisa's a vegetarian.
262
00:14:26,069 --> 00:14:27,589
She can smash a salad.
263
00:14:27,609 --> 00:14:31,296
No. Homer, you can't just do
the things you want to do.
264
00:14:31,302 --> 00:14:35,181
You have to act like someone
you'd want Lisa to marry.
265
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,443
If you just act like yourself,
she might just... um...
266
00:14:39,472 --> 00:14:42,145
Oh, you know... um...
267
00:14:42,162 --> 00:14:44,649
She might marry
someone like me?
268
00:14:44,669 --> 00:14:47,069
You think that
would be bad.
269
00:14:47,082 --> 00:14:48,722
Homie, I love you.
270
00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:52,727
But you can be a challenge,
like doing the Daily Jumble.
271
00:14:52,752 --> 00:14:58,463
Marge, you are comparing me to the most
infuriating thing in the newspaper!
272
00:14:58,476 --> 00:14:59,943
Well, I was
just trying to...
273
00:14:59,955 --> 00:15:03,303
Oh... I'm sleeping on
Flanders' couch tonight.
274
00:15:03,329 --> 00:15:05,136
Ours is crap.
275
00:15:09,245 --> 00:15:13,016
So Marge says I gotta
ask Lisa on a date.
276
00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:15,330
Sure you remember how
to ask out a girl, Homer?
277
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,960
Yeah, you've been out of
the game a long time there.
278
00:15:17,988 --> 00:15:19,308
Guys, lay off Homer.
279
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:22,843
Now you quit stalling and call
your daughter like a man.
280
00:15:22,866 --> 00:15:24,479
Oh... it feels weird.
281
00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:28,648
Just ask your daughter to have dinner
with you. What is the big deal?
282
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,701
Ah, he's doing it!
He's calling a girl.
283
00:15:30,714 --> 00:15:32,214
Oh, my God, oh, my
God, oh, my God...
284
00:15:32,234 --> 00:15:33,287
Oh, it's ringing.
285
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,140
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
286
00:15:35,159 --> 00:15:36,025
Hello?
287
00:15:36,046 --> 00:15:39,362
Uh, hello. Lisa? I know
your brother and...
288
00:15:39,381 --> 00:15:41,563
Oh! Stupid,
stupid, stupid!
289
00:15:41,585 --> 00:15:43,905
Calm down, calm down.
She doesn't know it's you.
290
00:15:44,849 --> 00:15:46,616
Ah! Hide! Hide!
291
00:15:48,456 --> 00:15:52,372
Uh, hello? Oh, sure, Lisa,
uh, your dad's right here.
292
00:15:54,285 --> 00:15:56,272
Dad?
Did you just call?
293
00:15:56,299 --> 00:16:00,867
Uh, yeah. Hey, listen, your mom
thinks that maybe you and I
294
00:16:00,873 --> 00:16:03,782
should have dinner
together sometime.
295
00:16:03,802 --> 00:16:05,108
Just the two of us?
296
00:16:05,128 --> 00:16:07,179
Ah, yeah, I knew
you'd think it's dumb.
297
00:16:07,204 --> 00:16:09,473
I'd love that.
See you tonight.
298
00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:13,474
- I got a date with my daughter!
- Yeah, we all been there.
299
00:16:13,493 --> 00:16:16,739
No need to act like you just
invented air conditioning.
300
00:16:20,477 --> 00:16:24,274
So, you see, Chief, Snake wasn't
stealing that stuff out of greed.
301
00:16:24,308 --> 00:16:26,828
He was stealing
it to thank me.
302
00:16:26,847 --> 00:16:30,572
Plea denied. Warm up the
electric chair, Lou.
303
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:32,603
You're not done yet?
304
00:16:32,622 --> 00:16:34,583
The instructions are
in Swedish, Chief.
305
00:16:34,596 --> 00:16:36,398
We got this from IKILLYA.
306
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:39,318
- Yo, I totally speak Swedish.
- Fluently?
307
00:16:39,336 --> 00:16:40,829
Um, ja.
308
00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:42,264
Uh, do what he says, Lou.
309
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,966
- But Chief...
- But-but-but.
310
00:16:43,986 --> 00:16:47,177
Quit arguing and give
him the little wrench.
311
00:16:47,204 --> 00:16:49,537
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Let him
out, Lou. Let him out.
312
00:16:49,566 --> 00:16:52,034
But Chief, we got guns;
He's got a little wrench.
313
00:16:52,055 --> 00:16:53,415
It's cold!
314
00:16:53,443 --> 00:16:54,770
Y... oh...
315
00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:56,146
All right.
316
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,347
Thanks for coming
down, Bart.
317
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:04,094
You won't need to
save me a third time.
318
00:17:04,114 --> 00:17:07,989
- You're going straight?
- If I get caught, it's suicide by cop.
319
00:17:08,004 --> 00:17:09,864
Oh, I don't like
the sound of that.
320
00:17:09,877 --> 00:17:11,940
It means I get you
to shoot me, dude.
321
00:17:11,953 --> 00:17:14,315
Yeah, still sounds like
a lot of paperwork.
322
00:17:16,906 --> 00:17:18,859
Hair volumizer?!
323
00:17:18,883 --> 00:17:20,290
Cologne?!
324
00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:22,515
Hello, Marjorie.
325
00:17:22,535 --> 00:17:25,602
Homie. You look
like an NBA coach.
326
00:17:25,622 --> 00:17:30,577
Yes, well, it's a special evening and I
thought it best not to look like a monkey.
327
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,127
Mm!
328
00:17:32,142 --> 00:17:35,106
Don't worry. I won't
embarrass you.
329
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:39,321
I will put my napkin in my lap, I will
use the utensils provided for me,
330
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:43,486
and if I our food is slow in coming,
I will "blow my stack" in a manner
331
00:17:43,508 --> 00:17:46,462
befitting the Earl
of Yarborough.
332
00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:48,637
All right, you've
made your point.
333
00:17:48,657 --> 00:17:53,469
Hey, I can't screw this up or Lisa
will get stuck with someone like me.
334
00:17:53,495 --> 00:17:56,844
Homie, I don't have
a problem with you.
335
00:17:56,864 --> 00:17:59,975
Except your buttons
are off one.
336
00:17:59,994 --> 00:18:03,439
Actually, this is a collar
button, see? It goes like this...
337
00:18:03,474 --> 00:18:06,493
Tuh! Is there no end
to your fault-finding?
338
00:18:07,497 --> 00:18:09,117
Maggie, help me
with this shirt.
339
00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:16,872
So Mr. Burns never realized it
was Maggie who saved the plant?
340
00:18:16,892 --> 00:18:19,039
Nope. Now, how's
that drink?
341
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,734
Can I Temple up
that Shirley?
342
00:18:20,762 --> 00:18:22,430
Oh, I'm fine.
343
00:18:23,715 --> 00:18:25,180
Well, have we decided?
344
00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:26,653
Uh, yeah, help me out here.
345
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:29,552
What is the normal amount
of entrees per person?
346
00:18:29,578 --> 00:18:31,378
Eh, one, sir.
347
00:18:31,392 --> 00:18:33,807
- I mean for adults.
- One.
348
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,490
No, I mean for
adult males.
349
00:18:36,518 --> 00:18:38,818
Yes. I repeat, eh, one.
350
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,100
All right, I'll
have the lasagna.
351
00:18:41,127 --> 00:18:43,461
All right. Meat
or vegetarian?
352
00:18:43,491 --> 00:18:45,258
Oh, uh... Oh...
353
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,562
Vegetarian.
354
00:18:46,589 --> 00:18:49,889
Can the red sauce
be cow blood?
355
00:18:49,902 --> 00:18:52,084
We'll see what we can do.
356
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,024
Is that Mom?
357
00:18:54,048 --> 00:18:56,395
Homer, can you come
with me for a minute?
358
00:18:56,411 --> 00:18:59,736
Marge, please, control your jealousy.
This is your daughter.
359
00:18:59,749 --> 00:19:03,356
We need to have a conversation
in loud whispers.
360
00:19:03,369 --> 00:19:05,229
Uh, excuse me, Lisa.
361
00:19:05,246 --> 00:19:07,397
A friend from high school.
362
00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:12,960
Homie, I felt terrible when you
said I felt stuck with you.
363
00:19:12,994 --> 00:19:16,527
But then I realized:
I am stuck with you.
364
00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:20,225
I couldn't stop loving
you if I tried.
365
00:19:20,253 --> 00:19:22,460
I'm sorry, that's
all very nice.
366
00:19:22,473 --> 00:19:24,318
But I can't forget
what you said.
367
00:19:24,339 --> 00:19:27,024
I know, Homie. I know
you well enough to know
368
00:19:27,049 --> 00:19:29,256
you're not ready
to forgive me yet.
369
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:34,637
But I also know you well enough
to know that this will work.
370
00:19:34,662 --> 00:19:36,583
Where'd you get
that dress?
371
00:19:37,532 --> 00:19:41,014
Remember that sewing machine
you say I never use?
372
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,214
Well, I sold it and
bought this dress.
373
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:46,771
Wow... Wow, that
looks just like
374
00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:49,375
the dress you wore
on Project Runway.
375
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,401
- Shush-shush-shush.
- Oh, right.
376
00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:55,024
I mean, this looks like a dress
from a local Springfield store.
377
00:19:55,049 --> 00:19:58,295
All is forgiven.
Let's have dinner.
378
00:20:02,169 --> 00:20:05,236
Dad, I believe we
were on a date?
379
00:20:05,249 --> 00:20:07,700
Oh, of course.
You're right, honey.
380
00:20:07,719 --> 00:20:10,558
I'll just, um... I'll
park it at the bar.
381
00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:14,613
Well, hello.
382
00:20:15,136 --> 00:20:17,945
And your lasagna
with cow blood, sir.
383
00:20:17,972 --> 00:20:20,561
- Thanks, Frenchy.
- I'm not French,
384
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:22,071
I'm just pissy.
385
00:20:25,749 --> 00:20:28,630
Lucas. You're not
competitive eating anymore?
386
00:20:28,643 --> 00:20:31,602
No. I realized that
was unrealistic.
387
00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:32,932
Well, that's a relief.
388
00:20:32,952 --> 00:20:35,728
My new goal is to become
whatever Adele is.
389
00:20:35,752 --> 00:20:38,272
Just call me
Pound-Uca-Dollar.
390
00:20:38,295 --> 00:20:40,475
What if I just taught
you how to whistle?
391
00:20:40,501 --> 00:20:43,034
You know how to whistle?
Like with your mouth?
392
00:20:45,857 --> 00:20:47,382
Hey, I'm doing it!
393
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:52,070
I sound just like a bird!
394
00:20:54,116 --> 00:20:59,116
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
395
00:21:33,089 --> 00:21:34,243
Shh!