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Yeah, how ya doin'?
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♪ The Simpsons 25x17 ♪
Luca$
Original Air Date on April 6, 2014
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00:00:45,016 --> 00:00:48,316
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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H-Hey, what?
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Oh! Oh, cleats!
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Homie, what happened?
7
00:00:59,671 --> 00:01:02,617
Uh... maybe some
easy-listening music
8
00:01:02,623 --> 00:01:04,777
will make you feel
better about the story.
9
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,690
Turn on 89.9.
10
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Like most of my problems,
it all started at Moe's...
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00:01:12,851 --> 00:01:16,661
All right, so the rules are every
time the news guy says "senator,"
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we got to take a drink.
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00:01:18,094 --> 00:01:21,601
Huh. It'll be nice to let someone else
decide when I drink-- too much pressure.
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00:01:23,075 --> 00:01:24,748
Uh, yeah, Channel
Six tip line?
15
00:01:24,761 --> 00:01:27,428
I just caught two senators
doin' it in the alley.
16
00:01:27,448 --> 00:01:29,661
And me?
I'm just a reliable source.
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Not "sauce," "source."
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Source! S-A-U-R-C-E!
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We have heard from a
very reliable sauce
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news involving
multiple senators.
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I'm going to read a
list of senators,
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with possibly more
senators to be named later
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by other senators:
Senator Abercrombie,
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00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:49,222
Senator Billingsley,
Senator Beaumont...
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00:01:52,257 --> 00:01:55,077
Hmm? Oh, damn, the
plaster's flaking again.
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Once intoxicated, we
had a great idea.
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Hey! Swings!
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I'm a kid again!
29
00:02:05,378 --> 00:02:06,891
Oh... gah...
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I'll save you!
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00:02:12,024 --> 00:02:14,304
Oh, the only
way out is in!
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Hey, look at me!
I'm going up a slide!
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00:02:18,031 --> 00:02:20,412
Homer! Homer!
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Best recess ever!
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Whoa.
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Help me, guys! Guys?
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Don't worry, Homer,
I'll call the cops!
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I'll write my senator.
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- Senator!
- Senator!
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Oh, am I gonna die on a playground,
like some uncoordinated child?
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But I did learn something
from all this:
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The sprinklers in this
park come on at 3:00 a.m.
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Hey, thanks for throwing
the ball back. Really.
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I'll come back with
the fire truck.
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I just have to get the
kids to school first.
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Oh, are the kids with you?
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- Hi, Dad.
- Homer.
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00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:01,090
Hey, guys! Why are you
ducked-down like that?
49
00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:03,079
Don't want to be seen with you
when you're hitting bottom.
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00:03:03,092 --> 00:03:04,779
At least we hope
it's bottom.
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00:03:04,797 --> 00:03:07,537
Don't worry, it's
bottom, all right.
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00:03:12,564 --> 00:03:14,684
And that's why I
was tardy today.
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00:03:14,704 --> 00:03:16,877
And with that tardiness,
you have at last crossed
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00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:19,532
the boundary where I can legally
apply physical discipline.
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Willie, cut me a switch!
56
00:03:21,293 --> 00:03:23,928
What about the one
your ma used on you?
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00:03:23,948 --> 00:03:25,781
It, uh, broke
on my buttocks.
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00:03:25,801 --> 00:03:29,915
Serves you right for eating
jam straight out of the jar.
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00:03:31,262 --> 00:03:33,816
Damn it! That's not
even a swivel chair.
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Skate, skate as
fast as you can.
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00:03:37,752 --> 00:03:40,621
But I'll catch you--
I'm the Principal Man!
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That's the kind of
education you're missing.
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00:03:46,905 --> 00:03:50,494
Oh, no. Uphill. The one
place my car can't go.
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Uh, would you
like a quote?
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00:03:57,387 --> 00:03:58,943
Uh, yes.
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00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:01,044
"Some cause happiness
wherever they go;
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00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:03,874
Others whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde.
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00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:06,162
Uh, P.S. Your
car is totaled.
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Whew! Safe.
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00:04:10,412 --> 00:04:12,963
Oh, not totally.
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00:04:12,978 --> 00:04:15,351
Whoa! What-what are
you doing in here?
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00:04:15,364 --> 00:04:17,051
Hiding from the cops.
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00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,282
Well, I can't have cops
sniffing around here.
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- Some of them might be girls.
- Can't I just stay a little?
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I only committed this
robbery to help my kid.
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See, this is Jeremy.
I need to get him braces.
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I always thought that if I'd had
braces, I'd have smiled more.
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00:04:32,399 --> 00:04:34,573
Hey, I bet you have
a great smile.
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00:04:34,593 --> 00:04:36,887
- Huh?
- Ay, caramba!
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00:04:36,915 --> 00:04:40,230
Bart, Bart, we're in
whatchamacallit... a pursuit!
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00:04:40,252 --> 00:04:43,187
So why'd you come here?
I run a respectable tree house.
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00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,618
Just wondering if
you've seen anything.
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00:04:44,638 --> 00:04:47,693
Uh, word is you'll, uh...
you'll snitch for candy.
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00:04:47,712 --> 00:04:50,326
You can't buy me with a
candy bar that has coconut.
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00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,190
Then maybe this is more your...
neighborhood.
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00:04:53,211 --> 00:04:55,579
Nice real estate.
You got a deal.
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00:04:55,592 --> 00:04:57,165
So, what do you know?
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00:04:57,183 --> 00:05:01,000
I saw a guy with a gun
and a snake tattoo...
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00:05:01,013 --> 00:05:04,159
say he was gonna hide out
on top of Mount Springfield.
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00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:06,823
Mount Springfield, eh?
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00:05:06,852 --> 00:05:09,452
Strap on your
crampons, boys!
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00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:11,234
Eddie! Prepare my litter!
93
00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:15,703
Lou, you are responsible for my
oxygen, food, water and cleaning!
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00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,512
- You have to clean me.
- I clean you. Yeah.
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00:05:17,536 --> 00:05:19,849
Dude, thank you.
Why did you save me?
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00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,748
We outlaws have
to stick together.
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00:05:21,773 --> 00:05:23,530
Outlaw? You?
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00:05:23,543 --> 00:05:28,381
Stolen bowling shoes, 3-D glasses, Krusty
standee and this "cage" for my pet.
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00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,361
Oh. What do you feed him?
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00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:31,980
My A.D.D. meds.
101
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:38,192
Um, listen, would you like two
tickets to the school musical?
102
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My son plays the butcher.
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In Fiddler on the Roof.
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I'm busy that night.
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Yeah, lucky you.
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Huh?
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Are you okay?
108
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Don't put more in there!
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Going for the record.
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What record?
Stupidest death?
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Aah!
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Blagh!
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Merci beaucoup!
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- Oh, well, you're very wel...
- That's French for "hello."
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- Actually, I think it...
- Lucas Bortner, competitive eater.
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A fat kid with a dream?
I can't compete with that.
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What does a competitive
eater eat?
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All the glamour foods: Pizza,
boiled eggs, chicken wings
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and the big enchilada, which
is not enchiladas but hot dogs.
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69 hot dogs is the current record.
As the great Kobayashi says,
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"Detekurutoki itaiyo."
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What does that mean?
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"That's gonna
hurt coming out."
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Is Kobayashi the
number one, um, uh...
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The correct term
is "gurgitator."
126
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I won't be using the
correct term then.
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Virtually everyone uses
his technique: Japanesing.
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Shall I demonstrate?
129
00:06:48,098 --> 00:06:51,431
Um, why don't I just go sit
alone... Oh, you're doing it.
130
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Ready, set...
131
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Japanese!
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That's not going down.
133
00:07:01,961 --> 00:07:06,031
- This happens from time to time.
- Maybe this isn't the sport for you.
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It's not a sport.
It's my life.
135
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Aw, he's sweet.
136
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What am I doing?
137
00:07:13,085 --> 00:07:17,033
He's just Ralph with a dream.
The dream of not ralphing.
138
00:07:17,056 --> 00:07:20,446
But I'm sure I could totally
change and fix him.
139
00:07:20,466 --> 00:07:23,296
- Can I join you for lunch?
- Um, sure.
140
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- How many whole pizzas would you like?
- Um, can I just have a slice?
141
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Interesting technique.
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00:07:31,678 --> 00:07:32,771
Whoa.
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00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:35,824
You didn't tell me you
had a PlayStadium 4!
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00:07:35,847 --> 00:07:38,541
It's the first
I've seen it.
145
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,930
Something's fishy, Bart.
146
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:42,919
Where's the gift receipt?
147
00:07:42,948 --> 00:07:45,884
Where's the packet of desiccant
that says "Do not eat"?
148
00:07:45,904 --> 00:07:48,577
And, believe me,
you shouldn't.
149
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:52,054
I have a feeling this
PlayStadium was liberated
150
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:55,923
from its previous owner and
given to me in gratitude.
151
00:07:55,936 --> 00:07:58,983
Liberated? You
mean "stolen"?
152
00:07:58,996 --> 00:08:01,373
You can't spell "crime"
without "me."
153
00:08:01,386 --> 00:08:03,953
C-R-I...
154
00:08:03,972 --> 00:08:05,646
There it is, at the end!
155
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,745
Oh, hi. Is-is Lisa home?
156
00:08:09,765 --> 00:08:12,565
Yes, she is. And
who are you?
157
00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:14,052
Lucas.
158
00:08:14,059 --> 00:08:17,051
It's pronounced "Luca-dollar."
That's my competition name.
159
00:08:17,077 --> 00:08:18,624
I'm a competitive eater.
160
00:08:18,650 --> 00:08:20,523
Competitive eater?
Did I hear right?
161
00:08:20,548 --> 00:08:24,157
- I could be a competitive eater?
- No! You didn't hear anything!
162
00:08:24,176 --> 00:08:26,063
Yes, I did! I heard
"competitive eater"!
163
00:08:26,082 --> 00:08:29,217
It's for people who haven't
had heart problems.
164
00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:31,680
Then that makes me the Jackie
Robinson of the sport,
165
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,720
and you are the racist
Philadelphia manager.
166
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:37,723
Quit comparing me
to Ben Chapman.
167
00:08:37,743 --> 00:08:40,233
I will when you open
your mind to change!
168
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,700
Oh...!
169
00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:45,573
So, what should we practice:
Um, Vienna sausage;
170
00:08:45,586 --> 00:08:48,058
Blueberry pie, short form;
171
00:08:48,079 --> 00:08:50,119
Oatmeal, long course;
172
00:08:50,142 --> 00:08:52,954
Freestyle baked beans;
Catfish-- ooh!
173
00:08:52,968 --> 00:08:55,194
- Cow brains.
- Beans, beans!
174
00:08:55,213 --> 00:08:56,466
We'll do beans.
175
00:08:58,626 --> 00:09:01,573
Hmm. Never saw the pork
eat the beans before.
176
00:09:03,764 --> 00:09:08,618
Actually, I'm a little
surprised Lisa likes him.
177
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:12,968
Really! Justin Blobber over there
doesn't remind you of anyone?
178
00:09:12,981 --> 00:09:16,204
$800 to cut me out
of that slide?!
179
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,896
It's all about the money
with those firemen.
180
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:21,616
Women marry their
fathers, Marge.
181
00:09:21,635 --> 00:09:25,094
So you just might be meeting
your future "ton-in-law."
182
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,460
Ton-in-law.
183
00:09:28,476 --> 00:09:30,443
God bless us.
184
00:09:31,683 --> 00:09:33,683
You can do better.
185
00:09:43,072 --> 00:09:46,592
My sisters are nuts. I'm happy
being married to Homer.
186
00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:48,692
Most of the time.
187
00:09:56,242 --> 00:09:57,982
Ooh! What the...?
188
00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:25,097
Meep, meep!
189
00:10:34,126 --> 00:10:35,827
Hmm...
190
00:10:37,275 --> 00:10:40,347
Maybe you're not cut out
for competitive eating.
191
00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:42,300
Are you calling
me not fat?
192
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,374
No, I'm just... I...
193
00:10:44,387 --> 00:10:47,165
Maybe you just haven't
found the right food, huh?
194
00:10:47,172 --> 00:10:49,407
- How 'bout ice cream?
- Yes!
195
00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:52,194
I will lay some
hurt on that cream.
196
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:56,333
Oh, my God! Brain freeze!
Oh, my God.
197
00:10:56,353 --> 00:10:58,724
Kick me in the head
till I pass out.
198
00:11:00,113 --> 00:11:03,860
Harder! I'm still conscious!
You must kick me harder.
199
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,645
Okay, honey, I made you pork
chops just like you like 'em.
200
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,572
- Twenty.
- Thanks, babe.
201
00:11:14,592 --> 00:11:17,529
Sorry you had to drop out of
college to feed me full-time.
202
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,387
Now give us a kiss.
203
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:29,817
What the...?
204
00:11:31,295 --> 00:11:32,922
Oh, yawn.
205
00:11:32,938 --> 00:11:35,869
Another freebie.
Better be a 64 gig.
206
00:11:36,895 --> 00:11:38,783
Huh? It's full of lame apps:
207
00:11:38,804 --> 00:11:42,111
Bully Avoider, Nosebook,
Insta-Grandma.
208
00:11:42,131 --> 00:11:44,534
This was stolen from Milhouse!
209
00:11:44,547 --> 00:11:46,014
From my backpack.
210
00:11:46,027 --> 00:11:48,252
Where Puppy
Goo-Goo sleeps.
211
00:11:48,265 --> 00:11:51,494
Maybe it's time to tell me
exactly what's going on.
212
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:55,711
Relax. Listen to the music
of this bubble game.
213
00:11:58,835 --> 00:12:01,879
So peaceful.
214
00:12:01,911 --> 00:12:03,684
No! I won't let this go!
215
00:12:03,704 --> 00:12:07,006
It's time you told me how you've
been getting all this stuff.
216
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,982
I helped Snake out of a jam so
he paid me back in stolen stuff.
217
00:12:11,995 --> 00:12:15,615
It was an honorable arrangement. But
I never thought he'd steal from you.
218
00:12:15,628 --> 00:12:22,314
Snake, eh? I never would've
suspected the one criminal in town.
219
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,539
You seem stressed. You want
to suck some Squishee?
220
00:12:27,545 --> 00:12:29,058
Sure.
221
00:12:29,071 --> 00:12:32,072
- Mmm!
- Careful. It's uncut syrup.
222
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,194
They give it to horses
before they race.
223
00:12:41,016 --> 00:12:43,329
Jailbird, A Snake.
224
00:12:43,349 --> 00:12:46,762
That's his real name. Albert
Knickerbocker Aloysius Snake--
225
00:12:46,775 --> 00:12:48,676
has been arrested for a series
of thefts and may be
226
00:12:48,698 --> 00:12:51,265
put to death under a
controversial new statute.
227
00:12:52,368 --> 00:12:55,719
Yeah, we had a law stating
"Three strikes and you're out."
228
00:12:55,738 --> 00:12:59,318
But I thought it was "You're
out." So I let people go.
229
00:12:59,325 --> 00:13:02,838
So now it's "Four
balls and you walk.
230
00:13:02,858 --> 00:13:07,309
Right to the electric chair."
It's, uh, much clearer, Kent.
231
00:13:07,342 --> 00:13:09,165
Bart, I'm so sorry.
232
00:13:09,178 --> 00:13:12,365
I just wanted to ruin
his life, not end it.
233
00:13:12,377 --> 00:13:14,244
You ratted him out?
234
00:13:14,257 --> 00:13:16,764
- He's got a kid.
- A kid?!
235
00:13:16,783 --> 00:13:19,091
I was crushed when
I lost my dad
236
00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:21,925
and all he did was move
to the Holiday Inn.
237
00:13:21,945 --> 00:13:25,757
I can still see him
smoking on the balcony.
238
00:13:25,781 --> 00:13:27,941
He looked like he
missed something.
239
00:13:27,958 --> 00:13:29,998
Maybe me.
240
00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:32,552
So you see, we can't
let Jailbird fry.
241
00:13:32,565 --> 00:13:35,331
Time for the
Sleepover Detectives.
242
00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:36,891
I didn't say there'd
be a sleepover.
243
00:13:36,910 --> 00:13:40,177
Too bad, 'cause I'm wearing
my pajamas under my clothes.
244
00:13:40,183 --> 00:13:44,824
And my swimsuit under those.
One day it'll all pay off.
245
00:13:46,928 --> 00:13:49,928
Oh! There's my magazine.
246
00:13:49,941 --> 00:13:54,217
Why, look at this. "What every
father should do for his daughter."
247
00:13:54,244 --> 00:13:57,605
Oh, Marge, if you want me to
do something, just tell me.
248
00:13:57,617 --> 00:13:59,385
Don't hide behind a magazine.
249
00:13:59,398 --> 00:14:02,084
Right. Right, right, right.
According to Judy Kleinsmith,
250
00:14:02,097 --> 00:14:04,224
a professional
freelance writer,
251
00:14:04,237 --> 00:14:06,580
fathers should take their
daughters out on little
252
00:14:06,593 --> 00:14:10,033
dinner dates and treat them
like a gentleman would.
253
00:14:10,051 --> 00:14:13,863
Then she'll expect the same
from the men in her future.
254
00:14:13,889 --> 00:14:18,469
Wait, let me get this straight: Sit
and eat? That's my punishment?
255
00:14:18,488 --> 00:14:22,188
It's not a punishment. But
you can't just eat dinner.
256
00:14:22,215 --> 00:14:25,727
You have to be gentlemanly
and attentive.
257
00:14:25,754 --> 00:14:27,560
Oh, I can fake attentive.
258
00:14:27,573 --> 00:14:30,175
I've been watching a football
game this whole discussion.
259
00:14:30,188 --> 00:14:33,593
Not fake attentive.
Real attentive.
260
00:14:33,613 --> 00:14:37,756
Okay, okay. I'll make it fun.
I'll take her to that crab place.
261
00:14:37,781 --> 00:14:42,128
- All the crabs you could smash.
- You know Lisa's a vegetarian.
262
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,668
She can smash a salad.
263
00:14:43,688 --> 00:14:47,375
No. Homer, you can't just do
the things you want to do.
264
00:14:47,381 --> 00:14:51,260
You have to act like someone
you'd want Lisa to marry.
265
00:14:51,279 --> 00:14:55,522
If you just act like yourself,
she might just... um...
266
00:14:55,551 --> 00:14:58,224
Oh, you know... um...
267
00:14:58,241 --> 00:15:00,728
She might marry
someone like me?
268
00:15:00,748 --> 00:15:03,148
You think that
would be bad.
269
00:15:03,161 --> 00:15:04,801
Homie, I love you.
270
00:15:04,819 --> 00:15:08,806
But you can be a challenge,
like doing the Daily Jumble.
271
00:15:08,831 --> 00:15:14,542
Marge, you are comparing me to the most
infuriating thing in the newspaper!
272
00:15:14,555 --> 00:15:16,022
Well, I was
just trying to...
273
00:15:16,034 --> 00:15:19,382
Oh... I'm sleeping on
Flanders' couch tonight.
274
00:15:19,408 --> 00:15:21,215
Ours is crap.
275
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:29,095
So Marge says I gotta
ask Lisa on a date.
276
00:15:29,109 --> 00:15:31,409
Sure you remember how
to ask out a girl, Homer?
277
00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:34,039
Yeah, you've been out of
the game a long time there.
278
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,387
Guys, lay off Homer.
279
00:15:35,413 --> 00:15:38,922
Now you quit stalling and call
your daughter like a man.
280
00:15:38,945 --> 00:15:40,558
Oh... it feels weird.
281
00:15:40,571 --> 00:15:44,727
Just ask your daughter to have dinner
with you. What is the big deal?
282
00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:46,780
Ah, he's doing it!
He's calling a girl.
283
00:15:46,793 --> 00:15:48,293
Oh, my God, oh, my
God, oh, my God...
284
00:15:48,313 --> 00:15:49,366
Oh, it's ringing.
285
00:15:49,379 --> 00:15:51,219
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
286
00:15:51,238 --> 00:15:52,104
Hello?
287
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:55,441
Uh, hello. Lisa? I know
your brother and...
288
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:57,642
Oh! Stupid,
stupid, stupid!
289
00:15:57,664 --> 00:15:59,984
Calm down, calm down.
She doesn't know it's you.
290
00:16:00,928 --> 00:16:02,695
Ah! Hide! Hide!
291
00:16:04,535 --> 00:16:08,451
Uh, hello? Oh, sure, Lisa,
uh, your dad's right here.
292
00:16:10,364 --> 00:16:12,351
Dad?
Did you just call?
293
00:16:12,378 --> 00:16:16,946
Uh, yeah. Hey, listen, your mom
thinks that maybe you and I
294
00:16:16,952 --> 00:16:19,861
should have dinner
together sometime.
295
00:16:19,881 --> 00:16:21,187
Just the two of us?
296
00:16:21,207 --> 00:16:23,258
Ah, yeah, I knew
you'd think it's dumb.
297
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,552
I'd love that.
See you tonight.
298
00:16:26,312 --> 00:16:29,553
- I got a date with my daughter!
- Yeah, we all been there.
299
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,818
No need to act like you just
invented air conditioning.
300
00:16:36,556 --> 00:16:40,353
So, you see, Chief, Snake wasn't
stealing that stuff out of greed.
301
00:16:40,387 --> 00:16:42,907
He was stealing
it to thank me.
302
00:16:42,926 --> 00:16:46,651
Plea denied. Warm up the
electric chair, Lou.
303
00:16:47,335 --> 00:16:48,682
You're not done yet?
304
00:16:48,701 --> 00:16:50,662
The instructions are
in Swedish, Chief.
305
00:16:50,675 --> 00:16:52,477
We got this from IKILLYA.
306
00:16:52,492 --> 00:16:55,397
- Yo, I totally speak Swedish.
- Fluently?
307
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:56,908
Um, ja.
308
00:16:56,914 --> 00:16:58,343
Uh, do what he says, Lou.
309
00:16:58,372 --> 00:17:00,045
- But Chief...
- But-but-but.
310
00:17:00,065 --> 00:17:03,256
Quit arguing and give
him the little wrench.
311
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,616
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Let him
out, Lou. Let him out.
312
00:17:05,645 --> 00:17:08,113
But Chief, we got guns;
He's got a little wrench.
313
00:17:08,134 --> 00:17:09,494
It's cold!
314
00:17:09,522 --> 00:17:10,849
Y... oh...
315
00:17:10,869 --> 00:17:12,225
All right.
316
00:17:15,479 --> 00:17:17,426
Thanks for coming
down, Bart.
317
00:17:17,446 --> 00:17:20,173
You won't need to
save me a third time.
318
00:17:20,193 --> 00:17:24,068
- You're going straight?
- If I get caught, it's suicide by cop.
319
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:25,943
Oh, I don't like
the sound of that.
320
00:17:25,956 --> 00:17:28,019
It means I get you
to shoot me, dude.
321
00:17:28,032 --> 00:17:30,394
Yeah, still sounds like
a lot of paperwork.
322
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,938
Hair volumizer?!
323
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:36,369
Cologne?!
324
00:17:36,402 --> 00:17:38,594
Hello, Marjorie.
325
00:17:38,614 --> 00:17:41,681
Homie. You look
like an NBA coach.
326
00:17:41,701 --> 00:17:46,656
Yes, well, it's a special evening and I
thought it best not to look like a monkey.
327
00:17:46,679 --> 00:17:48,206
Mm!
328
00:17:48,221 --> 00:17:51,185
Don't worry. I won't
embarrass you.
329
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:55,400
I will put my napkin in my lap, I will
use the utensils provided for me,
330
00:17:55,428 --> 00:17:59,565
and if I our food is slow in coming,
I will "blow my stack" in a manner
331
00:17:59,587 --> 00:18:02,541
befitting the Earl
of Yarborough.
332
00:18:02,554 --> 00:18:04,716
All right, you've
made your point.
333
00:18:04,736 --> 00:18:09,548
Hey, I can't screw this up or Lisa
will get stuck with someone like me.
334
00:18:09,574 --> 00:18:12,923
Homie, I don't have
a problem with you.
335
00:18:12,943 --> 00:18:16,054
Except your buttons
are off one.
336
00:18:16,073 --> 00:18:19,518
Actually, this is a collar
button, see? It goes like this...
337
00:18:19,553 --> 00:18:22,572
Tuh! Is there no end
to your fault-finding?
338
00:18:23,576 --> 00:18:25,196
Maggie, help me
with this shirt.
339
00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:32,951
So Mr. Burns never realized it
was Maggie who saved the plant?
340
00:18:32,971 --> 00:18:35,118
Nope. Now, how's
that drink?
341
00:18:35,144 --> 00:18:36,813
Can I Temple up
that Shirley?
342
00:18:36,841 --> 00:18:38,509
Oh, I'm fine.
343
00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:41,259
Well, have we decided?
344
00:18:41,285 --> 00:18:42,732
Uh, yeah, help me out here.
345
00:18:42,751 --> 00:18:45,631
What is the normal amount
of entrees per person?
346
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:47,457
Eh, one, sir.
347
00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:49,886
- I mean for adults.
- One.
348
00:18:49,919 --> 00:18:52,569
No, I mean for
adult males.
349
00:18:52,597 --> 00:18:54,897
Yes. I repeat, eh, one.
350
00:18:54,919 --> 00:18:57,179
All right, I'll
have the lasagna.
351
00:18:57,206 --> 00:18:59,540
All right. Meat
or vegetarian?
352
00:18:59,570 --> 00:19:01,337
Oh, uh... Oh...
353
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:02,641
Vegetarian.
354
00:19:02,668 --> 00:19:05,968
Can the red sauce
be cow blood?
355
00:19:05,981 --> 00:19:08,163
We'll see what we can do.
356
00:19:08,176 --> 00:19:10,103
Is that Mom?
357
00:19:10,127 --> 00:19:12,474
Homer, can you come
with me for a minute?
358
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:15,815
Marge, please, control your jealousy.
This is your daughter.
359
00:19:15,828 --> 00:19:19,435
We need to have a conversation
in loud whispers.
360
00:19:19,448 --> 00:19:21,308
Uh, excuse me, Lisa.
361
00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:23,476
A friend from high school.
362
00:19:24,909 --> 00:19:29,039
Homie, I felt terrible when you
said I felt stuck with you.
363
00:19:29,073 --> 00:19:32,606
But then I realized:
I am stuck with you.
364
00:19:32,619 --> 00:19:36,304
I couldn't stop loving
you if I tried.
365
00:19:36,332 --> 00:19:38,539
I'm sorry, that's
all very nice.
366
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,397
But I can't forget
what you said.
367
00:19:40,418 --> 00:19:43,103
I know, Homie. I know
you well enough to know
368
00:19:43,128 --> 00:19:45,335
you're not ready
to forgive me yet.
369
00:19:45,348 --> 00:19:50,716
But I also know you well enough
to know that this will work.
370
00:19:50,741 --> 00:19:52,662
Where'd you get
that dress?
371
00:19:53,611 --> 00:19:57,093
Remember that sewing machine
you say I never use?
372
00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:00,293
Well, I sold it and
bought this dress.
373
00:20:00,313 --> 00:20:02,850
Wow... Wow, that
looks just like
374
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,454
the dress you wore
on Project Runway.
375
00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:07,480
- Shush-shush-shush.
- Oh, right.
376
00:20:07,499 --> 00:20:11,103
I mean, this looks like a dress
from a local Springfield store.
377
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:14,374
All is forgiven.
Let's have dinner.
378
00:20:18,248 --> 00:20:21,315
Dad, I believe we
were on a date?
379
00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:23,779
Oh, of course.
You're right, honey.
380
00:20:23,798 --> 00:20:26,637
I'll just, um... I'll
park it at the bar.
381
00:20:28,245 --> 00:20:30,692
Well, hello.
382
00:20:31,215 --> 00:20:34,024
And your lasagna
with cow blood, sir.
383
00:20:34,051 --> 00:20:36,640
- Thanks, Frenchy.
- I'm not French,
384
00:20:36,665 --> 00:20:38,150
I'm just pissy.
385
00:20:41,828 --> 00:20:44,709
Lucas. You're not
competitive eating anymore?
386
00:20:44,722 --> 00:20:47,681
No. I realized that
was unrealistic.
387
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:49,011
Well, that's a relief.
388
00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:51,807
My new goal is to become
whatever Adele is.
389
00:20:51,831 --> 00:20:54,351
Just call me
Pound-Uca-Dollar.
390
00:20:54,374 --> 00:20:56,554
What if I just taught
you how to whistle?
391
00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:59,113
You know how to whistle?
Like with your mouth?
392
00:21:01,936 --> 00:21:03,461
Hey, I'm doing it!
393
00:21:06,629 --> 00:21:08,149
I sound just like a bird!
394
00:21:10,195 --> 00:21:15,195
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
395
00:21:49,168 --> 00:21:50,322
Shh!