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Well, kids, here we are.
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We've arrived
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My 30th birthday.
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The long-awaited story of...
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...the goat.
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That week started just like any other.
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Barney woke up in some girl's bed.
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In my experience, the way this normally goes is,
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We lie here for a while,
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Make a little awkward chitchat.
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Check.
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Then I make up some cabinet meeting, heart surgery,
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Rocket test flight I've got to be at,
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Slip out of the apartment and never call you again.
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And later at the bar,
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You tell your good friend robin
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The story of your latest conquest,
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And she thinks to herself,
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"who is this sad, self-loathing idiot
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Who climbed into bed with barney stinson?"
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Actually, you usually say that out loud.
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So...
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...i just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend
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And I just slept
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With my ex-boyfriend's really good friend.
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Best friend.
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Okay, here's the deal, barney.
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The second my feet touch the ground,
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This never happened.
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Okay.
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Wait.
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Right click, save as...
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Into the .bpeg folder, and okay.
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This never happened.
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It's a good plan.
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Now we go back to exactly the way things were before.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Right.
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So, robin?
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Yes, barney?
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Since you were never here to begin with,
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You won't be here when I get out.
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-Okay. -okay.
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This never happened.
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Never happened.
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Never... happened.
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But pretending it never happened
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Wouldn't be that easy.
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So, tell us,
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What was it like?
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What?
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penetrating that barrier.
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You and I are the first ones to hit it.
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Well, not the first ones,
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Certainly, but the first ones at this table.
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I... I...
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I'm... I'm...
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Although, I'm gonna be hitting it pretty soon.
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yeah, you are.
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Yeah, and when I hit it, I'm going to go nuts.
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It's gonna be all night, and I think I want a clown there.
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I'm a little bit scared of clowns, but for you, I'm there.
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What are you taking about?!
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The big three-oh.
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You know,My 30th birthday's this friday.
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Did you forget?
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What kind of friend is this guy?
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Ha-ha right.
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A great friend, by the way.
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The best.
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Is it my imagination,
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Or are these drinks getting smaller?
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If this were a doctor's office, they'd say, "try again."
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How you doing there, robin?
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-I'm good. -Oh, so, I made a a decision.
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I'm going to go through all my old stuff,
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And I'm getting rid of anything I have no use for anymore.
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Hmm. barney, you want my xbox?
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Ted, she has a name!
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And just what are you accusing me of?
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Liking video games?
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I'm gonna get a drink.
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I'll come with you.
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Okay.
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God, this is awkward.
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What is?
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Being around ted.
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Why?
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-Because of our thing.-what thing?
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You're really gonna pretend this never happened?
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What never happened?
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What are you guys talking about?
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Nothing.
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Guys, cut the act. I know.
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I know about the surprise party you guys are throwing me.
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Marshall let it slip earlier today.
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Hey, I'll totally act surprised and everything.
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Just be sure to invite stella.
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Stella!
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You have a serious girlfriend now!
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You're over this one.
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Robin who, right?
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Stella makes this one look
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Like a filthy bag of gbabage, am I right?
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Happy birthday, bro.
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Hello.
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Hey, marshall, I need your help.
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Yeah, I'm kind of real focused on the job hunt right now.
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I know. I want to hire you.
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For the last time, barney, I will not be your butler.
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I need a lawyer.
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I'll pay you.
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How much?
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A little.
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I'll take it.
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Hey. so, I'm reading this, and, I got to say,
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This might be a little bit over my head.
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For one thing, I'm fairly certain
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That if these contracts aren't executed precisely,
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We will be at war with portugal.
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Forget that.
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That's a tuesday for me.
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New shredder.
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This baby'll chew up a bicycle in 17 seconds.
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From sky mall.it's all from sky mall.
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Whenever I get upset, I shop at sky mall.
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-Want a hot dog? -of course.
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Why are you upset?
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Marshall, I'm about to tell you a secret
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That you can't tell anyone-- not ted,
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Not robin, not lily.
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No. no, no, no, I don't want any more secrets,
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Especially now that I know what you guys did
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To the drinking water in lisbon. i...
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You are hearing this secret, marshall.
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I... I slept...
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Stop..stop doing that.
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I slept...
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I slept with robin.
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You slept with robin?
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Are you mad at me?
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I don't know.
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How's the hot dog?
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It's helping.
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You slept with robin?!
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I... I cannot keep that secret.
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I mean, you know
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I at least have to tell lily.
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You can't. you can't tell anyone.
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Attorney-client privilege.
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Why are you doing this to me?!
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Because I need you, Marshall, as my lawyer,
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to prove that I didn't do anying wrong.
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How can I help you as your lawyer?
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You didn't break any laws, did you?
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Robin knows you slept with her, doesn't she?
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I didn't break any state or federal laws,
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but I think I broke a much, much higher law.
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The Bro Code.
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For many years,
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we had heard Barneyquote the Bro Code,
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a list of do's and don'ts for all bros.
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Some were basic.
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Bro Code article one:"Bros before hoes.
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Some were unbelievably complicated.
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Bro Code article 89:
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"The mom of a bro is always off limits,
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"but the stepmom of a bro is fair game if she initiates it,
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"and/or is wearing at least one a article
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of leopard print clothing."
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And some werejust plain disturbing.
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Bro Code article 34:
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"Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's three-way."
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Two dudes.
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This is not a legal docume..
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This is just something you wrote.
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You think I wrote that?
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Oh, Marshall,
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don't you know the glorious history of the Bro Code?
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The year was 1776.
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The place: Philadelphia.
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Benjamin Franklin and George Washington were hangng a drink.
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But, bro, seriously,
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I called the dibs on that wench.
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You codpiece blocked me.
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So what if I did?
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There's no rule against it.
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Well, there should be.
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There should be a set of rules that govern
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the way bros comport themselves among other bros.
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But who shall write such a document?
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I have to go to Me, D.C.,and pose for the dollar bill.
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And I have to do some kite-flying or setething.
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I shall write this set of rules.
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And I shall inscribe it on theacack of the Constitution.
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To save paper.
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It's resolved!
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Barney Stinson shall write...
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the Bro Code.
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And I shl l include a provision
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that stateth no eye contact in a devil's three-way.
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-Seconded. -Seconded.
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Listen, what do you want me for?
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I've just been losing my mind lately,
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and do you know why I feel so bad?
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Yeah, because you slept with Robin.
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No, that was awesome.
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I feel bad
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because the Bro Code clearly states
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"No sex with your bro's ex."
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But if you,
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my lawyer,can find a loophole somewhere,
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then that bad feeling will go bye-bye.
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And you would pay me for that?
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No, I'll just be the one shredding your paperwork.
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Technically, you'll be paid by a toy factory in Pyongyang.
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Barney, I'm no shrink, okay,
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but don't you see that this is just a desperate way for you
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to avoid an unpleasant confrontation with Ted?
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00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,530
Hey, if I wanted a psychological evaluation,
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I'd hire the guy we pay
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to hint notize us before depositions.
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Now, get cracking!
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While Marshall examined the Bro Code,
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Lily's kindergarten class welcomed a special guest.
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And with a little luck, in a few days,
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Farmer Frank's cold will be all gone.
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And that's why Farmer Frank's breath smells like medicine.
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Right, Farmer Frank?
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You got it, toots.
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Any last questions for Farmer Frank? Yes.
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Will we ever go to see Missy the Goat again?
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Oh! Ah, isn't that sweet!
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Well, you know, honey,
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right after this,
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I'm gonna drop old Missy off at the butcher shop.
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And they're going to take
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a great big knife...
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And Frank went on to traumatize Lily's entire class
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with a graphic explanation of where meat comes from..
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So not one little scrap of Missy goes to waste.
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Ms. Aldrin, please don't let emem eat Missy.
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I know, I know.
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I already called an animal rescue,
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and they're going to come get her on Monday.
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Monday?! Where's she going to sleep and eat
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and go to the bathroom?!
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Okay, where's she going to sleep and eat?
252
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I-I guess I'll keep her up on the roof.
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Look, call me crazy. I just...
254
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I don't think having a goat in the apartment is a good idea.
255
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And, boy, was I right,because what Missy the Goat
256
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would go on to do in that bathroom was so...
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No, you know what?
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I'm m getting ahead of myself.
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We'll get there.
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00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,430
Hey, Ted.
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You ready to, um...
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Where'd the goat turd come from?
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00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,660
How'd you know that was a goat turd?
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00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:28,960
Well, it was either that,
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or a musk ox turd,
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and I figured,what the hell would a musk ox be doing in here?
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Hey. Guess what your wife brought home.
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Attorney-client privilege.I can't talk about it.
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Talk about what?
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Nothing.
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How was your day?
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Oh, goat turd on the floor,I see. Is that new?
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How does everyone know that's a goat turd?
274
00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:54,260
-Barney told you. -I don't know what you're talking about,madam.
275
00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:56,330
Marshall,
276
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,330
you can't look me in the eye, you're blushing,
277
00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,460
coughing,
278
00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:00,760
and your hands are shaking.
279
00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:02,500
come here.
280
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,330
Ted is never finding out about this, you understand?
281
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,230
Because it never happened, none of us are saying anything.
282
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:09,900
And don't even think about opening that can
283
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,030
until I'm out of the splash zone.
284
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,260
fantastic, you're here.
285
00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:29,130
Give me the good news.
286
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,760
I'm sorry.
287
00:11:30,830 --> 00:11:31,900
You did too good of a job writing this thing.
288
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,600
It's-it's iron-clad.
289
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,260
No!
290
00:11:35,330 --> 00:11:36,360
Bad lawyer!
291
00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:38,260
I need a loophole!
292
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:40,160
I want to feel better, Marshall!
293
00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:41,960
I can't keep buying things!
294
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:44,600
I have six self-cleaning litterboxes
295
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,030
and I don't even have a kid.
296
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,160
Wait. How about this?
297
00:11:48,230 --> 00:11:50,500
Ted's probably broken this thing himself, right?
298
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,430
And if he's broken the Bro Code,
299
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:53,600
then I'm off the hook.
300
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,760
I thought about that.
301
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:56,760
And I gotta say,
302
00:11:56,830 --> 00:11:59,160
Ted has upheld this thing time and time again.
303
00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:00,700
For example, article 87:
304
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:04,430
"A bro shall at all times say yes."
305
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,860
So he saved you from an avalanche?
306
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:08,530
Yes.
307
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,130
And he carried you six miles to safety on his broken leg?
308
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,400
Yes.
309
00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,860
And you're a pre-op transsexual nightclub singer
310
00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:18,230
who used to be a member of the Russian mob?
311
00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:24,260
Da.
312
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,830
Article 29
313
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:28,930
"A bro will in a timely manner alert his bro
314
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,600
to the existence of a girl fight."
315
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:33,200
Dude, two girls are fighting at MacLaren's.
316
00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:35,930
What?!
317
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,500
Yeah, yeah.
318
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,100
It was crazy. This one girl was like...
319
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,460
Oh, hey.
320
00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:44,230
Hey.
321
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,600
Article 53:
322
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,960
"A bro will, whenever possible,
323
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:50,030
provide his bro with protection."
324
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,000
That feels nice.
325
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:54,000
Good.
326
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,400
I just wish we had some wine.
327
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:03,730
Yeah.
328
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,160
I wish we had some wine, too.
329
00:13:11,430 --> 00:13:12,860
damn it, Marshall.
330
00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,860
I'm not paying you to tell me what a saint Ted is!
331
00:13:14,930 --> 00:13:15,800
You're my lawyer!
332
00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:18,000
The answer is in there! Find it!
333
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:20,060
Okay, this isn't about the Bro Code, and you know it.
334
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:23,200
The reason that you're upset is because what you did was wrong.
335
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,530
And the only way you're ever gonna feel
336
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,300
any better about it is if you tell Ted what you did.
337
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,700
What if he never wants to talk to me again?
338
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,530
Well, I guess that's just a chance
339
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,330
you're gonna have to take.
340
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,460
Which brings us to April 25, 2008.
341
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,230
My 30th birthday,
342
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,930
or as it would come to be referred to in later years:
343
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,630
The Day of the Goat.
344
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:43,960
Hey, where are you?
345
00:13:44,030 --> 00:13:45,530
I'm in the limo, right outside ofeded's office.
346
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,830
Great. Well, everyone's here.
347
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,300
Stella just arrived
348
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,630
and there is something here so awesome,
349
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:53,460
I'm not going to tell you what it is, but you won't believe...
350
00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:54,500
Goat in a party hat?
351
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,660
Damn it!
352
00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:58,000
Well, you still gotta see it.
353
00:13:58,060 --> 00:14:00,660
It's so much fun having a goat at a party!
354
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:02,000
In a few short hours,
355
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:03,960
Lily would come to regret those words.
356
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:06,100
But we'll get there.
357
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,860
Uh, gotta go. Here he comes.
358
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,000
Okay. Bye.
359
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,100
Whoa, you guys went all out.
360
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,160
Okay, everyone, Ted's in the limo, five-minute warning!
361
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,260
Everyone get ready!
362
00:14:16,330 --> 00:14:19,460
Oh, Missy, are you excit??
363
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,830
Yes, you are!
364
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,560
Whoa, we're leaving the city.
365
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:27,630
Where the hell is this party?
366
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,460
Vegas.
367
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,700
Vegas? I thought the party was on the rooftop.
368
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:37,430
Surprise!
369
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,900
Just a decoy, my friend.
370
00:14:39,030 --> 00:14:40,430
So there's no roof party?
371
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,630
Oh, no. There is. We're just not going.
372
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,530
This is how good a friend I am.
373
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,900
They want you to spent your 30th standing around
374
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,960
drinking flat beer ten feet above your living room.
375
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,330
But not me, bro.
376
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,230
I pulled out all the stops.
377
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:54,660
Private jet, Valderrama suite at the Bellagio.
378
00:14:54,730 --> 00:14:56,300
Steaks at BOA,
379
00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:00,000
scotch at Ghostbar, then two ringside seats
380
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,100
to watch Floyd Mayatather go ten rounds with,
381
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,260
wait for it...
382
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:04,400
a grizzly bear!
383
00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:07,000
Take me home, Barney.
384
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:08,030
No!
385
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,630
We have to go to Vegas.
386
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,300
Look, Ted, I didn't want to say this, but...
387
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,660
there's something that I have to tell you,
388
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:17,430
and I wanted you to be
389
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,300
in the best possible frame of mind before you heard it.
390
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,400
You slept with Robin.
391
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,030
Ranjit!
392
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,330
You slept with Robin?
393
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,130
Barney! That is Ted's ex-girlfriend!
394
00:15:30,131 --> 00:15:31,131
Na Rafigh (One who is not a true comrade)
Na Mard (One who is not a true man)
395
00:15:31,132 --> 00:15:32,132
Na Looti (One who doesn't care about the rules of humanity)
396
00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:33,133
Shans avordi ke oon dooste dokhtare ghadimie man nabood! (You were lucky that she wasn't my ex-girlfriend!)
397
00:15:33,134 --> 00:15:34,134
Age oon bood migereftamet ... (If she was i would ? you ...)
398
00:15:36,730 --> 00:15:38,200
When did you find out?
399
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,830
Hey, Robin. Come here!
400
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,560
What's up?
401
00:15:42,630 --> 00:15:45,100
I was, uh, just going through some old stuff
402
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,130
-and I... -Oh, crap!
403
00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:51,530
Anyway, uh,
404
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,960
I came across this.
405
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,660
-From my vacacation in Vermont. -Yeah.
406
00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,630
I don't know if you'd even want it, but if you do, it's yours.
407
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,130
I slept with Barney!
408
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,560
What?
409
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:03,300
It was just one time,
410
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,560
it, it was the night that Simon dumped me
411
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,300
and I was in a really vulnerable place
412
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,430
and I, I wand d to just pretend like it never happened,
413
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,300
but I couldn't, and...
414
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,030
I can't.
415
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:17,300
I just, I had to tell you.
416
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,930
And...
417
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,800
I just hope that we can still be friends.
418
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:24,460
Of course we can still be friends.
419
00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:26,130
So you're not mad?
420
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,830
Well, I'm...
421
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,830
it's a little weird, but, um,
422
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:31,960
No, I'm not mad.
423
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:38,660
So you're not mad?
424
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,930
No, I'm not mad.
425
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,960
I mean, Robin and I broke up a year ago.
426
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:45,330
We've, we've both dated lots of people since then.
427
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,700
I'm with Stella now.
428
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:49,630
Seriously, I...I'm fine with this.
429
00:16:50,930 --> 00:16:52,860
I'm so relieved to hear you say that.
430
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,700
Yeah. Yeah.
431
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,460
Oh, hey, I just remembered, um,
432
00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:58,530
my mom is coming into town next month.
433
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,960
Maybe you'd like to nail her, too!
434
00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:03,000
Where are they?! I'm getting a cramp.
435
00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:06,160
Marshall, can we keep the goat?
436
00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:07,900
No.
437
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,860
-But she's so cute and furry and soft. -Yeah,
438
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,730
and she also sheds, eats out of the garbage
439
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,860
and can't control her bobowels.
440
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,500
Why don't we just call Duluth Mental Hospital
441
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,800
and say my Uncle Linus can live with us?
442
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:18,530
Yeah, Lily, that may seem like a good idea
443
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,330
after a couple of drinks but tomorrow morning
444
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,060
you're going to want this thing out of your house.
445
00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:24,200
Oh, you should talk.You slept with Barney.
446
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:24,900
Marshall!
447
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:25,930
I'm sorry!
448
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,300
I couldn't take it anymore.
449
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,200
I can't believe you did that.
450
00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:30,800
That's so gross.
451
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:32,730
Was it amazing?
452
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,430
What? I...
453
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,460
Lily, I really don't want to talk about this.
454
00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:38,500
I know but it's Barney.
455
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,200
It's just hard not to be curious.
456
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:43,330
Did he have like devices and stuff?
457
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,700
Lily,come on.
458
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,930
-Hot wax? -Stop it.
459
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:46,930
Did he tie you to anything?
460
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,300
-That's enough. -What's wrong with you?
461
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,160
I'm sorry.
462
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,560
Is he all smooth down there?
463
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:59,660
Three billion women on the planet!
464
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,630
Three billion!
465
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,700
And you have to sleep with the one that I dated for a year!
466
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,100
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?!
467
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:06,400
Robin?!
468
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,960
You think I'm proud of this?!
469
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:09,830
I'm horrified that this happened.
470
00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:11,260
How did it happen? Huh?
471
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:12,730
Barney, I want to know.
472
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,900
Tell me exactly how it happened.
473
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,760
You mean...
474
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,360
what position?
475
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:19,330
Okay.
476
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:19,930
Stop it!
477
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,260
Stop it!
478
00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:22,760
Stop it.
479
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:22,900
-Hit him! Hit him, -Ted! Stop!
480
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,360
-Hit him! -Stop!
481
00:18:25,430 --> 00:18:26,300
-Hit him! -Okay.
482
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:27,800
Okay. Okay.
483
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,130
You're pissed.
484
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,260
You deserve to be.
485
00:18:30,330 --> 00:18:31,300
Fine. You know what?
486
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,300
One free shot. On me.
487
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:34,900
Anywhere but the face.
488
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,960
Who punches someone in the groin?
489
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:46,030
Okay.Okay.
490
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,200
I deserved that.
491
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,660
I deserved that.
492
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:51,700
But what's important now is...
493
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,960
we're passed this whole Robin thing now, right?
494
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:56,960
You think that this is just about Robin?
495
00:18:57,030 --> 00:18:58,600
This is about...
496
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,100
You know, I've seen you do some bad stuff.
497
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,500
I mean some really terrible stuff
498
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,030
to a lot of different people.
499
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,230
I just always thought there had to be a limit.
500
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,460
I always thought I was the limit.
501
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:14,860
You're always spouting off these rules for bros.
502
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:17,100
Isn't one of them, "don't do this"?
503
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,400
Yeah. And I broke it.
504
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,260
I'm sorry.
505
00:19:22,630 --> 00:19:23,760
But, Ted...
506
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:27,260
...seriously, this suite at the Bellagio...
507
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:29,500
I am not going to Vegas with you!
508
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,960
I'm not going to blow off my friends
509
00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:32,760
and my girlfriend,
510
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:35,230
and spend my 30th birthday in a strip club.
511
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,130
The fact that you think I would...
512
00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:40,700
You know, Barney,earlier this week
513
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,400
I started putting things in a box
514
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:45,330
and that box was labeled "stuff I have no use for anymore."
515
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,260
What does that mean?
516
00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:49,130
It means...
517
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,200
maybe you belong in that box.
518
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,130
Are you saying you dnon't want to be bros anymore?
519
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,600
I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore.
520
00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:02,600
Okay, I'm going to stop you right there,
521
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,300
because it seems like you're about to say something
522
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,000
that's going to pretty much ruin Vegas.
523
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:08,660
Ranjit, stop the car.
524
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,030
I'm getting a cab.
525
00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:51,000
Surprise!
526
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,130
Oh, right, the goat.
527
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,600
So funny.You're going to love this.
528
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,700
So later in that night, the goat locked himself in the bathroom
529
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,600
and was eating oneof Robin's washcloths and
530
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,230
wait, hold on.
531
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,160
Robin wasn't living here on my 30th birthday.
532
00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:11,560
When did this happen?
533
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:14,930
Oh, wait, the goat was there on my 31st birthday.
534
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,760
Sorry,I totally got that wrong.