1 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,578 I got to tell you, the more I read about the primordial 2 00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:08,515 gravity wave discovery, the more excited I get. 3 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,484 I know. Being an astrophysicist right now 4 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:11,748 is like being a rock star. 5 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,550 Only without the sex. 6 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,925 Yeah, literally, none of it. 7 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:19,996 What do you think about it, Sheldon? 8 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:21,655 Meh. 9 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,665 Are you kidding me? 10 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,861 This may be the biggest scientific breakthrough 11 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,096 of our lifetime. 12 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:30,606 How can you, as a theoretical physicist, not care about this? 13 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,744 Maybe it's because I'm not an elitist. 14 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,179 How does this gravity wave breakthrough 15 00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:37,940 help the man on the street? You know? 16 00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:39,880 Who's looking out for Joe Six-Pack 17 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,418 and all his quantum physics concerns? 18 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,216 Oh, my God, you're jealous. 19 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,290 Why would I be jealous? 20 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,757 I don't know. Maybe because the origin of the universe 21 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,591 just got proven, the Higgs field just got proven 22 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,393 and you've been working on string theory for the last 20 years 23 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,036 and you're no closer to proving it than when you started. 24 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,935 Yeah, well, I've had a lot on my plate. 25 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,769 We happen to live in a golden age of television. 26 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,410 -Excuse me, fellas. 27 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,310 Sorry for eavesdropping, but there actually was 28 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,542 some big string theory news today out of the Hadron Collider. 29 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,983 Really? Did they find evidence to support 30 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:17,918 extra dimensions or supersymmetry? 31 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,924 No, but they did find evidence that you'll believe anything. 32 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,160 Why would you do that? 33 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,299 You're a string theorist as well. 34 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:30,230 Incorrect. I am a string pragmatist. 35 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,734 I say I'm gonna prove something that cannot be proved, 36 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,167 I apply for grant money, 37 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,569 and then I spend it on liquor and broads. 38 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,575 Later. 39 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:43,742 Do you think he's right? 40 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:48,013 Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven? 41 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:54,519 Maybe. But how great is Game of Thrones? 42 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,585 I (THEME SONG PLAYS) 43 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,884 Hey, you're up early. 44 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,114 I couldn't sleep. 45 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:29,192 I told you those Walking Dead pillowcases were a bad idea. 46 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,227 No, that's not it. 47 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:32,887 Is something bothering you? 48 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,863 Yes, but you wouldn't understand. 49 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:38,162 Come on, try me. 50 00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:41,138 All right. 51 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,736 I've devoted the prime of my life to string theory 52 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:49,745 and its quest for the compactification of extra dimensions. 53 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:53,077 I've got nothing to show for it, and I feel like a fool. 54 00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,018 OK. I get it. 55 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,349 I mean, not all the jibber-jabber in the middle, but... 56 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,250 ...I know what it's like to put your heart and soul into something 57 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,918 and get nothing out of it. 58 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,086 You mean your acting career? 59 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:10,929 -No. -Your relationship with Leonard? 60 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,496 No. 61 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,071 Your failed attempt to go back to college? 62 00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,707 No! 63 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,037 I'm saying you and string theory sound like a relationship, 64 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,338 and I know what it's like to be in one 65 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:23,777 and realize it's never gonna turn out the way you want. 66 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,949 I said Leonard, you said no. 67 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,055 I'm talking about other guys. 68 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,090 OK. Well, what do you do? 69 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,727 You have to have the courage to end the relationship. 70 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,727 You know? Break it off, shake hands, walk away. 71 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,731 I don't know if I can do that. 72 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,302 I know it's hard, honey, but in the end, that's how you grow. 73 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,372 Penny, have you seen my good inhaler? 74 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,610 Break it off, shake hands, walk away. 75 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,387 Hey, how's dating two women going'? 76 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,651 Um, kind of hit a bump. 77 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,624 When I was honest and told Emily 78 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,060 she wasn't the only person I was seeing, it went great. 79 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,824 So I tried the same thing with Lucy. 80 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:19,232 -And? -She had mixed feelings. 81 00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:21,670 But when I said, "Emily was cool with it. 82 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,899 Emily's the best. Why can't you be more like Emily?..... 83 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,104 ...those feelings became less mixed. 84 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:34,177 Women. Who knows what'll set 'em off? 85 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,119 At least now I can focus all my energies on just one girl. 86 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,121 I hope I get to meet her as soon as possible. 87 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,918 Why the rush? She isn't going anywhere. 88 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,358 She is. But I like that attitude. 89 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:50,096 Gentlemen, is anybody interested in my old string theory books? 90 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,861 You're really going to do this? 91 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,096 I am. Yeah, Penny pointed out 92 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,969 that what I'm going through is essentially a breakup. 93 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,872 And according to Cosmopolitan magazine, 94 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,206 one of the most effective techniques for moving on 95 00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,975 is to get rid of all reminders of the relationship. 96 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,448 -You're reading Cosmo? -Yes. 97 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,484 As it turns out, there's an article 98 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,522 on how to get over a breakup in literally every issue. 99 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,884 Anyway, it suggests that I set these on fire, 100 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,121 but the smell of burning books 101 00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:22,130 reminds me of church picnics in East Texas. 102 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,661 What's this? 103 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,501 That's just a doodle of a hyperelliptic Riemann surface. 104 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,576 Oh, yeah. Wasn't that the basis of your postdoc fellowship? 105 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,075 It was. 106 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,714 This seemed so elegant at the time, 107 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,044 but now I realize I was just a simple country boy, 108 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,710 seduced by a big city theory 109 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,220 with variables in all the right places. 110 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,151 -It's going to be OK. -I know. 111 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,353 As hard as this is, I have to move on. 112 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,226 I can't keep postulating multidimensional entities 113 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:56,060 and get nothing in return. 114 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:59,033 I have needs, too. 115 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,170 So, you and Emily still together? 116 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,213 I spoke to Bernadette. She's free tomorrow night. 117 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,445 OK, great. 118 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,954 But if we're really gonna do a double date, 119 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,285 than we have to go over some ground rules about Emily. 120 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,553 Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, 121 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,060 I don't say anything? 122 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,555 She's very real. 123 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,861 That's what it says on the box. 124 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,068 Right next to "dishwasher safe." 125 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,376 See? This is exactly the kind cf thing 126 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,306 I'm worried about you saying in front of her. 127 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,447 I promise I'll be on my best behavior. 128 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:46,140 You better be. No jokes about how close I am with my dog. 129 00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:49,776 Or the truth about how close I am with my dog. 130 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,321 You got it. 131 00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,151 No jokes about the year I took ballet. 132 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,917 You took ballet? 133 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,924 God, you never listen. 134 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,895 Are you sure you want to do this? 135 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:05,502 The magazine articles suggest that one of the ways 136 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,969 to get over a breakup is a new look. 137 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:12,076 What about your old look, well-groomed ventriloquist doll? 138 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,974 -"Oh, my God, I do look like that." -Stop it! 139 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,641 So, how do you want me to cut it? 140 00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:25,950 How about Bill Gates meets Nikola Tesla? 141 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:30,023 So, business in the front, science in the back. 142 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:33,596 Or I don't cut it and maybe just style it a little. 143 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,130 I'm in your hands. 144 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,633 Do a good job and I'll tell you Cosmo's ten dynamite tips 145 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,703 to enjoy your PMS. 146 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,101 Can you keep him quiet? 147 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,537 Maybe jangle some keys in front of him? 148 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,938 That doesn't work anymore. 149 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,340 He just thinks I'm taking him to the doctor. 150 00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,710 So, now that you're no longer invested in string theory, 151 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,317 what are you gonna pursue? 152 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,385 There are so 153 00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:59,183 black holes, dark matter... 154 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,019 Leonard was telling me about dark matter, 155 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,387 but I didn't really understand it. 156 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:05,189 Don't feel bad. Neither does he. 157 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,066 OK... 158 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,501 ...what do you think? 159 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,740 Have you evr even seen a picture of Tesla? 160 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,577 It actually looks good, Sheldon. 161 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,645 -Doesn't it? -Yeah. 162 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:26,741 I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boy band. 163 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,221 Of course, I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one. 164 00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:33,489 Sorry I'm late. 165 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,491 -What did you do? -I gave him a new look. 166 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:41,258 -It's cute, huh? -Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. 167 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,594 I don't need other girls to see him walking around 168 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,395 like sex on a stick. 169 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,031 She's right. I'm too hot. 170 00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,607 I'm excited to meet Emily. 171 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,614 Me, too. I just hope he doesn't blow it. 172 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,116 Why would you say that? 173 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:05,086 Because he's Raj. That's his thing. 174 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,249 Beckham can bend it, Ralph can wreck it, Raj can blow it. 175 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,626 Look, I don't want it to happen, 176 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,197 but odds are he's gonna find a way to... 177 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,131 Oh, crap, I know that girl. 178 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,635 -How? -In a bad way, very bad. 179 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:21,932 Hey, guys. 180 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,597 Whatever you hear tonight, just remember I love you. 181 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:24,901 Hey! 182 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:32,648 Emily, these are my good friends, Howard and Bernadette. 183 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,786 -Guys, this is Emily. -Nice to meet you. 184 00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,147 -Hi. -Hello. 185 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,947 Have we met before? 186 00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,481 No. 187 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,656 I don't. .. I don't... think so. 188 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,297 You sure? You look familiar. 189 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,660 Well, you sure don't. 190 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,393 You I know, you I know, you? 191 00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:53,560 Total stranger. 192 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:57,766 Even if you had yummy candy, I would not get in your van. 193 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,744 Did you go to that spin class on Green Street? 194 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,607 That must be it. 195 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,010 Since when do you go to spin class? 196 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,284 Wow. Now who doesn't listen? 197 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,616 Sheldon, your food's getting cold. What are you doing? 198 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,784 Looking through my textbooks for a new field of inquiry. 199 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,794 Why do we have a geology book? 200 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,093 Leonard, did you throw a children's party 201 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:24,633 while I was in Texas? 202 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,495 Wait. What's wrong with geology? 203 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,197 Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. 204 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,104 You remember how you explained to me 205 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,302 that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? 206 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:38,210 Well, geology is the Kardashians of science. 207 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:43,210 Have you considered studying standard model physics? 208 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,219 You want me to give up string theory 209 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,324 for something that's less advanced? 210 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,686 You know, why don't you break up with Penny 211 00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,987 and start dating a brown bear. 212 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,499 Like you could get a brown bear. 213 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,191 Hey, I've got a good job. 214 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,200 I could buy salmon. You don't know. 215 00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,570 Maybe you could make your new field of study 216 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,333 the calculation of nuclear matrix elements. 217 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,635 Oh, please. 218 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:09,042 If I wanted to take up a fad, I'd get a tramp stamp. 219 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,750 What about loop quantum gravity? 220 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,717 Oh, Duchess, look at me! 221 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,823 My quantum gravity's positively Ioopy! 222 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,985 Who's the duchess? 223 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,924 One of the people that lives in his head. 224 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,056 I hope he's this distraught if he ever breaks up with me. 225 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,862 Well, if he does, I'll see if my bear has a friend. 226 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,997 Sheldon, have you ever considered not rushing into something new? 227 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,666 I mean, why don't you take your time, enjoy your freedom? 228 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:42,870 Maybe something new to study will find you. 229 00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,049 That's actually not bad advice. 230 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,686 You know, I didn't seek out string theory. 231 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,255 It just hit me over the head one day. 232 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,549 How does that happen? 233 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,953 A bully chased me through the school library 234 00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:57,890 and hit me over the head with the biggest book he could find. 235 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,865 OK, how about we toast your new-found freedom? 236 00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:05,229 Normally I refrain from alcohol, 237 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,429 but since my cerebral cortex is twiddling its proverbial thumbs, 238 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,302 why not soak it in grape juice 239 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,773 that's been predigested by a fungus? 240 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,942 And you wonder why other children beat you with books. 241 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,309 Cheers! 242 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,053 Emily, what do you do? 243 00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:25,485 I'm a dermatology resident at Huntington Hospital. 244 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,386 And you know what that means. 245 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:31,120 Someone's skin's about to be softer than ever. 246 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,456 This is making me crazy. I know I know you from somewhere. 247 00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,796 Howard was an astronaut. Maybe that's where you saw him. 248 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,270 Wow, that's amazing. What was that like? 249 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,238 It was the most incredible experience of my life. 250 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,106 Up there in the space station, you're... 251 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,247 Oh, my God, I remember. 252 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,309 Can I finish my astronaut story? 253 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,781 It was four years ago. 254 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,852 -Please don't say it. -We were set up on a blind date. 255 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,683 -Please don't say it. -You came to my apartment. 256 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,825 You're saying it. 257 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,483 Well, what happened? 258 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,492 -Yeah, what happened? -OK, I'll say it. 259 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:09,032 I was on the way to pick her up. 260 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,190 My stomach felt a little funny. 261 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:14,463 When I got there, I asked if I could use her bathroom. 262 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,470 Please don't say it. 263 00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,508 One roll of toilet paper and 20 minutes later, 264 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,012 I was so humiliated, 265 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,878 I snuck out the window and never saw her again. 266 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,519 You know what else 267 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,712 my security deposit. 268 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,447 I'm sorry. 269 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:35,559 I tried to unclog it, but you didn't have a plunger, 270 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,217 and water was spilling out everywhere. 271 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,021 Right, just water. 272 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,395 Look, I have felt terrible about this for years, 273 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:47,561 and I'm glad I have the opportunity to tell you just how sorry I am. 274 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,729 It's fine. 275 00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,398 All my friends love this story. 276 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,703 They call you Clogzilla. 277 00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,214 Get it? Because you clogged up her bathroom 278 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,976 like a radioactive monster! 279 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,519 -Yeah, yeah, I get it. -Howie. 280 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,246 Well, hey, it's not like cotton candy comes out of you. 281 00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:10,423 Come on, let's get you to bed. You've had a lot to drink. 282 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,028 No more than Penny. 283 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,062 That's what I'm saying. 284 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,396 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... 285 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:23,735 Empty room. 286 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:26,103 If somebody says "Come in," I'm gonna freak out. 287 00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:34,748 So, Emily, why did you decide to specialize in dermatology? 288 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,909 I like cutting people with knives, 289 00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:40,614 and all the other jobs where you get to do that are illegal. 290 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,386 You're kidding, right? 291 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,624 She's scary, but it's a cute scary. 292 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:52,797 Can I say just one more thing? 293 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,599 I had some kind of food poisoning that day. 294 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,436 Sure, in retrospect, gas station sushi... 295 00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,975 Maybe not the best choice. 296 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,977 Nor was climbing out your window and running away. 297 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,810 But I think we can all understand how humiliating that was, 298 00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,315 and I'd really appreciate it if we could move on. 299 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,316 Howie, we moved on a long time ago. 300 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,785 -I'm just saying-- -We moved on. 301 00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:15,952 OK. Fine. 302 00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,953 -How's your soup? -it's all right. 303 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,963 They could've filled the bowl a little more. 304 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,496 -Excuse me. -Where are you going? 305 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:32,643 -I need some fresh air. -Been there. 306 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,623 Oh, no. 307 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,859 What have I done? 308 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,855 How you feeling? 309 00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,155 Not so good. 310 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:31,033 Are you gonna introduce me to your friend? 311 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,062 It's not my friend. 312 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,229 Nothing happened. 313 00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:40,844 I don't I know, I heard you reading pretty loud last night. 314 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,573 Oh, dear Lord. 315 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:45,807 Where's Amy? 316 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,974 After she put you to bed, she went home. 317 00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:49,018 Oh. 318 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:53,313 I should call her and apologize. 319 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,185 -Oh, no. -What? 320 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:02,197 Apparently, I called Stephen Hawking last night. 321 00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,425 First new message. 322 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,399 Hawkman! 323 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:12,836 It's your old buddy Sheldonoscopy! 324 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,276 How come you didn't pick up the phone? 325 00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:18,005 Oh, right. My bad. 326 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,915 You're awful quiet. Everything OK? 327 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,448 Not really. 328 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:30,719 I had a bit of an embarrassing evening. 329 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,124 Me, too. What happened? 330 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,129 I drank alcohol 331 00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:40,101 and may have left an unfortunate voice mail for Stephen Hawking. 332 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,563 I wouldn't worry about it. 333 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,708 He's got a pretty good sense of humor. 334 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,540 I hope so. 335 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,702 What happened to you last night? 336 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,712 Well, turns out 337 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,477 I'd already met the girl Raj is seeing 338 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,281 when I did a number on her bathroom. 339 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,291 And that number was two. 340 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,731 Well, you know, I've always been a fan 341 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:11,732 of a story told by Attar of Nishapur, 342 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:15,805 about a king, who assembled a group of wise men 343 00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:19,637 to create a ring that would make him happy when he was sad. 344 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:23,144 And that ring was inscribed with the phrase, 345 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,407 "This, too, shall pass." 346 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,584 -Hey, Cooper! -Oh, my God. 347 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:33,246 I heard you drunk-dialed Stephen Hawking last night? 348 00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:35,085 Classic! 349 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:36,352 Get out of here, Barry. 350 00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,358 Whatever you say... 351 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,861 ...Clogzilla. 352 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,132 Clogzilla. That's pretty funny. 353 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,537 I don't think that's gonna pass. 354 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,944 Next message. 355 00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,810 It's me again! 356 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,110 I gave up string theory. 357 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,014 You should give up black holes, 358 00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:07,385 and we can totally solve crimes together! 359 00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:09,186 Next message. 360 00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:10,827 Do you know what's great?! 361 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,963 Geology. 362 00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,190 Woo! 363 00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,064 Look at this geode! 364 00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,362 That's fun to say! 365 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:23,803 Gee... ode! Gee... ode! 366 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,465 Next message. 367 00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,633 Gee... ode! 368 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,575 Gee... ode! 369 00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,977 I kiss girls now. 370 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,411 Next message. 371 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:39,556 Hey, guess who I am! Beep, bop, boop, bop! 372 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,921 I'm you! Get it?! 373 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,024 Next message. 374 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,165 Are you mad at me? 375 00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:51,167 Oh, no, you're mad at me. 376 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,361 I'm so sorry! 377 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,166 Beep, bop, boop, bop! 378 00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,097 Next message. 379 00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:03,111 Thiospinel sulfide. Thiospinel sulfide. 380 00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:06,614 That's even more fun than gee... ode. 381 00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:09,880 Hey, did you see The LEGO Movie? 382 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,926 What a jackass.