Okay, Jessie! Give me a pop fly!
I got it... I got it...
(Groans)
She got it.
Hey, nice grab. Thanks. I learned from watching Derek Jeter.
Are you a Yankees fan? Of course.
There are only two types of people.
Those who like the Yankees... And those who have made extremely poor life choices.
You're funny, you're good at sports, and you're cute.
I'm Luke. I'm all those things, too.
I'm Mackenzie. Here's your ball back.
I wrote my number on it... In case you want to call me some time.
Maybe I'll call you soon.
Maybe I'll answer.
And maybe when you answer I'll talk to you.
That'd be weird if you didn't.
Till then. Okay.
Hiya, Luke! (Shrieks)
Creepy Connie!
Luke, what's the... (Yelps) Creepy Connie!
Funny seeing you again... I mean, in real life, and not just my nightmares.
Luke, I really need to talk to you.
Connie, I really need to run away from you.
You understand if I... I get it.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
♪ It feels like a party every day
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
♪ My whole world is changing Turning around
♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground
♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town
♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down
♪ Hey Jessie
♪ It feels like a party every day
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com
I can't wait to see the movie in the park tonight. Me too.
I heard AstroKlutz is like the funniest movie ever.
Actually, Emma, I need you to work.
We always get a big crowd after these outdoor movies in Central Park.
Oh, that's okay, I really like working here.
This place is like my tenth home.
They have nine others.
I'm cool working the shack alone.
I've come a long way since you asked me to marry the ketchups,
and I hired a wedding planner.
I can't believe Creepy Connie is back from boarding school.
I am sure she wishes to rekindle our romance.
Poor thing is probably still reeling from our breakup.
Okay, just stay focused.
You never know when Creepy Connie is going to strike.
(Knife flicks) Hi, guys!
(Screaming)
Guess who made Friendship Fruit Crumble?
(Yelling) Die!
Guys, Creepy Connie made us a creepy crumble!
Guys! I'm not creepy anymore!
Luke, I have extinguished the torch I once carried for you.
Uh, it was less of a torch and more of a bonfire.
Do you still carry my torch, Connie?
I'm sorry, you are?
You must be joking. We dated for two months.
Remember when we held hands for 32 and a half seconds on Valentine's Day?
Still not ringing a bell.
Well, "creepy" just turned into "awkward."
Ravi, why don't you go upstairs?
So that I can find some proof that Connie and I dated?
(Laughs) No, no, 'cause this is getting hard to watch.
Luke, I came here to warn you. Mackenzie's after you!
Mackenzie? You mean the cool girl I met in the park?
Mackenzie's not cool. She's my roommate at boarding school.
She's a complete weirdo who is totally obsessed with you.
Takes one to know one.
Well, if you think I was bad when I was crushing on Luke,
it's nothing compared to Mackenzie.
At school, all the girls call her Mad Mac.
Mackenzie's not mad!
And we just met today. How could she be obsessed with me?
Well, I might have talked about you for 10 months straight...
Then there was the shrine...
And the failed cloning experiment.
But the point is, Mad Mac is after you!
Okay, Connie, clearly you're making this up
just to keep Luke from dating another girl.
Well, it won't work.
I'm calling Mackenzie to hang out tonight,
and there's nothing you can do about it.
Fine, Luke. It's your funeral.
No! What if Connie poisoned it?
You're right. We should serve it to Bertram first.
Yeah. Yeah.
Emma! You've gotta take a five minute break to watch the end of this movie.
I don't know... Come on!
Okay, I'm in.
I've only had two customers since the movie started anyway,
and one of them just wanted to use our bathroom.
You don't have a bathroom. I know.
Don't walk behind the building.
I'm really glad you invited me over, Luke, but you seem kinda edgy.
Sorry.
There's this girl who has a creepy obsession with me, and she keeps breaking in.
Note to self, get a lock for the dumbwaiter.
Oh, you must mean Connie. She's my roommate at boarding school.
Wait, so you do know her? I thought she made that up to get between you and me.
Oh, don't be silly. Connie wouldn't come between us.
She's totally over you. She even took down her shrine to you last month.
Oh. But don't worry...
I dug it out of the trash.
Oh.
I, uh... I wasn't worried...
But I'm starting to get there now.
I made this for you. Try it on.
How nice of you. Are these pearls?
No, they're my baby teeth.
(Shrieks)
Aw, you don't like that one?
I guess I'll have to make you another.
Connie was telling the truth! You really are mad!
Mad about you!
We were meant to be together.
I will never leave your side.
The only question is...
Which wrist do you want the handcuff on?
Right or left?
Excellent question...
Let me think about... (Yelling) Help!
CONNIE: I'll save you, Luke!
Connie? Mac!
(Both yelling and grunting)
(Screaming)
(Handcuffs clicking)
I've been wanting to do that ever since you snagged the top bunk in our dorm room.
Connie! I knew you were still after Luke!
A creepy leopard doesn't change its creepy spots!
No, you're wrong! Connie's the one who saved me!
Mackenzie really is Mad Mac!
Is it mad to want to handcuff myself to the love of my life
so we never spend a moment apart?
Yes! Of course!
I see where you're coming from, but yeah.
Nothing can keep us apart!
Connie, my bag, please.
By the way, I really love your sweater.
I'll be back!
Believe it or not, this isn't the first time I've had to open a door this way.
Oh, we believe it.
What do they put in the water at your boarding school?
(Laughing)
That movie was hilarious. An astronaut buddy-cop movie.
Who says Hollywood is out of fresh ideas?
Oh, no, look!
I can't believe I left this place alone for five minutes
and all the food got stolen.
I know, crazy.
If you can't trust New Yorkers at night in Central Park, who can you trust?
Connie, thank you for coming to my rescue.
Yeah, I'm almost glad you broke into the penthouse...
Again.
How do you get in here so easily?
Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to end you.
Sorry if that came off as creepy.
You know, sometimes I just can't help myself.
(Cell phone beeps)
Ugh. Mad Mac tagged me in a video post.
Hi, Luke.
So sad that Connie interrupted our date earlier.
Can't wait to finish what we started.
Soon you'll be mine...
Forever! (Cackles)
On top of everything else, she's one of those people with a really annoying laugh.
Wait, are those my shoes?
And my skateboard?
And that's my half-eaten calzone from last week! All those things are...
Under my bed!
Do you know what this means? The video is coming from inside the house!
Is that my diary?
Uh, not everything is about you, Jessie!
Mad Mac is upstairs!
I'll get her, Luke!
Dibs on the calzone! Dibs on my diary!
No sign of Mad Mac. (Sniffing)
But I can still smell her evil stench.
Oh, I think that's just my dirty gym clothes.
(Sniffs) (Gags)
Guys, look! The window's open.
She couldn't have gone out the window, we're, like, 30 stories up! Unless...
Mad Mac is Batman.
What did you ever see in him?
(Door slams)
(Gasps)
(Reading)
Connie, please, protect me forever!
I'm here for you, Luke. Jessie, I'll keep an eye on him.
You clear the penthouse, then go down to the lobby
and do a perimeter search of the building.
Here... Take this.
Oh, walkie-talkies! Fun!
Roger, roger. Copy that, good buddy.
Breaker, breaker. Got your ears on?
Ten-four. What's your handle?
Focus! I'm being hunted here!
So, Connie,
I am going to show you this scrapbook I kept of our time together,
and prove we dated.
Look, if there's anyone who knows about delusional relationships it's me,
but we never happened, guy.
Oh, we happened! Look!
A ticket stub from that Mumford & Sons concert I took you to.
RAVI: A doodle you did on a napkin.
A lock of your hair... I gave you a lock of my hair?
It is not important how I got it...
Can you take him with you? He's starting to creep me out.
He's starting to creep you out?
You dressed as Luke for Halloween...
And stayed that way till Christmas.
(People clamoring)
This is terrible!
Boomer trusted me, and now all we have to feed this starving mob
are ketchup packets and lettuce!
And Bertram! We can slather him in ketchup, to buy ourselves some time!
Remind me never to crash-land in the Andes with you.
(Gasps) I know how we can still make money!
Let's do what they do at those fancy restaurants Mom and Dad take us to,
where they serve small portions of weird food.
I hate those places. Their menus don't even have mazes on them!
Excuse me, ma'am, can I interest you in a petite leafwich?
It's the latest culinary craze.
Fresh lettuce in a lettuce bun finished with a dollop of our house made tomato confit.
We don't have tomato confit! But we have ketchup.
Hey, Emma, if it helps, I found a potato chip under the counter.
No, you found...
Forty pommes chipettes.
Bon appetit! That's French for $11, please!
Connie, no sign of Mad Mac down here.
We're on our way back up. Over.
(Walkie-talkie screeching)
Connie?
(Loud thud)
Well, that was ominous.
Call Tony and see what is going on.
What... (Gasps)
Oh, no, my battery's gone!
Mad Mac must have done this. She's gonna make her move.
We have to get back up to the penthouse and save Luke!
Mine is gone, too!
No wonder I have not received any calls.
Yeah... That's why.
Connie!
Where are you?
CONNIE: Luke! Help! Mac's got me!
Connie?
Hiya, Lukie-Pookie!
(Door slams)
Welcome to our wedding!
(Screaming)
I understand.
I'm too am disappointed that some of your mannequin family
didn't fly in for our special day.
Connie, you said you were over me.
Nothing out here says "over me!"
Don't you shout at me in front of the relatives.
Hey, Luke! (Gasps) Mad Mac!
Connie is trying to get me all to herself.
Maybe you two should fight over me.
Leaving me time to escape, after I watch for a second.
Get a clue. This was all a set-up.
Connie was never my roommate.
And, quite frankly, you're not my type.
Wait, so you were just pretending to like me the whole time?
I don't get it. You see the freckles, right?
Luke, Mac is an actress that I hired
to scare you right into my waiting, loving arms.
I also sing.
Mostly sweet-sixteens. The occasional quinceanera.
Well, time to settle up. My day rate is $550
and I was out of pocket for the handcuffs...
So, let's call it an even $600.
$650 and I won't tell anyone where you got those baby teeth.
How about I just tie you up instead?
Never mind, $600 is good.
The fact is, Connie and I actually ended our romance on good terms.
And now she claims she does not even remember me?
Well, forget that noise! I want my Mumford & Sons concert T back!
Ravi, get over it! Connie clearly has.
Okay, great! Now pull yourself up!
Apparently you are not familiar with my lack of upper body strength.
Now push me up.
Apparently you are not familiar with my lack of lower body strength either.
Please let me go! I promise I won't tell anyone.
CONNIE: You're not going anywhere.
You need to be a witness at our wedding.
That's not fair! If your groom doesn't have to stay, then why do I?
Ooh, I like a guy who plays hard to get.
(Struggling)
Man, I really should've gone to the bathroom before I came over here.
Whoa!
What are you doing, Schmoopy?
Wishing I had a parachute.
(Yelling)
(Reading)
She's creepy and a general contractor?
For our kids, I'm thinking Hermione for a girl,
and Lukie-Pookie, Jr. for a boy.
(Screaming)
We did it! Celebratory confit?
ALL: Mmm!
Smooth.
Emma?
Why does it look like my shack went 30 rounds with a tornado?
I promise I can explain. It was... It was...
Uh, trolls! Trolls did it!
You know, they're not as cute and innocent as they look on the end of a pencil.
Thanks, Zuri... But the truth is,
I left the shack unattended for just five minutes to watch a movie,
and it got robbed.
In Emma's defense, it was a hilarious last five minutes.
(Chuckling)
Although not so hilarious now.
Boomer, I am really sorry. I know I made a huge mistake.
But I tried to fix it... No!
The mistake was mine for trusting you.
You're fired.
But... But I really love this job.
Can't you just give me another chance? Nope.
Life is like boxing, you only get one chance.
But what about re-matches?
Okay, so it's nothing like boxing. Just go.
FYI, you just wiped away a side order of pommes chipettes.
Kiss that four bucks good-bye.
Lukie-Pookie?
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Surely you wouldn't be stupid enough to hide in... The closet!
Luke,
where are you?
We need to discuss whether we're gonna send our kids to public or private school.
(Clattering) (Gasps)
(Laser firing noises)
Shh!
(Panting)
(Door rattling)
(Screaming) Ow!
Jessie, where have you been?
Oh, just climbing up an elevator shaft to save you from that psycho Mad Mac.
You know, typical boring Friday night.
It's not Mac, it's her!
Hiya, Jessie!
I know it's short notice, but would you be a bridesmaid at our wedding?
I knew Creepy Connie was still creepy!
My first clue should have been...
Every single thing she's ever done.
Especially this!
Huh.
I wonder if this ever happened to Nanny McPhee.
Mad Mac? What is going on?
Just know, I'm an innocent bystander in all of this.
And by that, I mean I'm an actress Connie hired to dupe you all.
Wait, so you mean...
There was an acting gig in my own home and I still couldn't book it?
Ugh, this is definitely a low point in my career.
Ravi? Hello! I got the elevator working.
And you didn't go get help? I wanted to save the day.
And how'd that work out for you?
Well, Connie overpowered me and...
Oh, that was a rhetorical question.
Okay, I will get us all out of this. Everyone is going to be fine.
(Wedding march playing ominously)
♪ Here comes the groom... Oh, no.
♪ I caught him in his room
♪ He is a cutie His name is Lukie-Pookie ♪
Correction. Luke's a goner.
This is a nightmare. I didn't even get a bachelor party.
Connie, this has to stop. You've gone too far.
Another peep from you, and you'll find out how far my fist can go into your face.
I'm sure you two will be very happy together.
(Clears throat)
I am Reverend Chucky.
We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.
You realize that this is one of the many, many, many reasons we call you creepy.
We actually made a list. It's 12 pages. Single spaced.
If anyone has any objections to this marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
I object. Me too!
Me three. I still have to pee.
Now, any objections?
(Muffled yelling)
Great! Now, let's get to the good stuff!
With the power vested in me by the great state of Minnesota,
you see, Minnesota is where I'm licensed.
Get on with it, Chucky! Yeah. okay, okay...
I now pronounce you man and wife.
What... The...
Heck?
(Muffled grunting)
Ah, more guests! You know what that means... More presents!
Where are you registered? Bedlam, Bath, and Beyond?
I hope her "something new" is a life coach.
Let's be honest. This is like the 10th weirdest thing
to happen on this terrace.
Put me down for beef at the reception.
Wrap this thing up, Reverend Chucky...
You may now kiss the groom.
Don't mind if I do.
You think you're having a bad day? (Elevator door dings)
I just got fired.
BOOMER: Emma, are you here?
Ah, we should talk about what happened tonight.
(Muffled grunting)
Connie? Uncle Boomer?
ALL: Uncle Boomer?
Connie, you release all these people right now!
You know how much your mom hates it when you take hostages!
Oh, Uncle Boomer, can't it wait till after the honeymoon?
(Muffled screaming)
You gotta knock it off. You have so many restraining orders,
there's basically only three places in New York City where you can stand.
Oh, okay. You're no fun.
(Grunts)
Connie, I want you to know, I am dedicating my life
to getting you back for all this.
Right after I use the bathroom.
Ow.
I'm getting you back too, for making me wear this hideous bridesmaid's dress.
Although, if another role come up, here's my resume.
Scaring men is one of my special skills.
So, Boomer, we're really glad you showed up, but...
Why did you show up?
Well, I think I was too hard on Emma.
Consider yourself re-hired.
Really? Mmm-hmm.
Because you realized that even though I made one teeny mistake,
I'm still the best employee you've ever had?
No, because people keep asking for a petite leafwich and I have no idea what that is.
It's a lettuce leaf with ketchup that we sold for 11 bucks a pop.
Dios mio! You are the best employee I've ever had.
Thanks, Boomer.
Well, we better be going.
Hey, you still owe me $600.
Sorry, I spent all my money on the wedding.
I love you, Lukie-Pookie!
Good seeing you again, Ravi.
Ha! I knew you remembered me!
I did the whole time. I was just embarrassed that I had dated you.
It still counts!
Good riddance, Creepy Connie.
Don't call me Creepy Connie!
Call me creepy Connie-Ross! (Laughs hysterically)
All you single ladies, get ready for the bouquet.
Oh! Ha!
It's mine. Ha!
Better not take down those decorations on the terrace,
'cause Jessie's gonna land herself a man.
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com