﻿1
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<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">web dl sync snarry</font>

2
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Aah!

3
00:00:28,142 --> 00:00:31,345
♪ Good morning, USA!

4
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:36,950
Stan, what are you doing home?

5
00:00:36,985 --> 00:00:38,018
It's only 4:00.

6
00:00:38,052 --> 00:00:39,119
They all went bowling.

7
00:00:39,153 --> 00:00:40,220
Who did?

8
00:00:40,255 --> 00:00:41,622
Bullock and his Inner Circle.

9
00:00:41,656 --> 00:00:43,824
Well, why don't you ask to be
in the Inner Circle?

10
00:00:43,858 --> 00:00:45,025
I did.

11
00:00:45,059 --> 00:00:46,793
Sir?

12
00:00:48,563 --> 00:00:50,964
Smith, what are you doing here?

13
00:00:50,999 --> 00:00:52,699
Can I be in the Inner Circle?

14
00:00:52,734 --> 00:00:54,635
No! And shut the door.

15
00:00:54,669 --> 00:00:58,272
Taxpayers are paying top dollar
for this wind.

16
00:00:58,306 --> 00:01:00,173
All the agents in the Inner Circle

17
00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:01,942
were flying like birds, Francine,

18
00:01:01,976 --> 00:01:04,177
and I was just standing
there on the ground,

19
00:01:04,212 --> 00:01:05,245
like a stupid mammal.

20
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,381
Well, I don't think you're a mammal.

21
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:08,548
Morning, guys.

22
00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:10,117
Morning? You
better be talking

23
00:01:10,151 --> 00:01:12,119
about former Charlotte
Hornet Alonzo Mourning,

24
00:01:12,153 --> 00:01:13,453
because it's 4:00
in the afternoon.

25
00:01:13,488 --> 00:01:15,008
You can't possibly just be getting up.

26
00:01:15,023 --> 00:01:16,123
Whatevs.

27
00:01:16,157 --> 00:01:18,926
Mom, hands, eggs, make.

28
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,360
You, hold it right there.

29
00:01:20,395 --> 00:01:21,628
You, make your own eggs.

30
00:01:21,663 --> 00:01:23,864
You, stay beautiful.

31
00:01:23,898 --> 00:01:25,499
I don't know how to make eggs.

32
00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:27,134
Mom always makes my breakfast.

33
00:01:27,168 --> 00:01:28,468
Oh, my God.

34
00:01:28,503 --> 00:01:30,337
You can't make food, you sleep all day,

35
00:01:30,371 --> 00:01:32,139
you barely form complete sentences.

36
00:01:32,173 --> 00:01:33,573
What are you talking me at?

37
00:01:33,608 --> 00:01:35,409
You have no survival skills.

38
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,411
Oh, don't be so overdramatic.

39
00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,546
Someday, we are gonna die, Francine.

40
00:01:39,580 --> 00:01:40,847
You sooner than me, probably,

41
00:01:40,882 --> 00:01:42,215
with all that string cheese you eat,

42
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:44,184
but we're both gonna go, and when we do,

43
00:01:44,218 --> 00:01:47,054
this girl right here is not
qualified to be anything

44
00:01:47,088 --> 00:01:50,791
other than a stripper or
a crack whore or a-a...

45
00:01:50,825 --> 00:01:52,492
Oh, I was sure there was a third.

46
00:01:52,527 --> 00:01:56,863
Stripper, crack whore, grocery bagger?

47
00:01:56,898 --> 00:01:58,732
No, no, that's a noble profession.

48
00:01:58,766 --> 00:02:00,334
I have plenty of survival skills.

49
00:02:00,368 --> 00:02:02,235
The prove it.
Effective immediately,

50
00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:04,638
you are gonna start paying
rent around here, young lady.

51
00:02:04,672 --> 00:02:06,106
How am I supposed to afford that?

52
00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:08,508
You've got survival
skills; figure it out.

53
00:02:08,543 --> 00:02:11,011
Go be something other than
a stripper or a crack whore

54
00:02:11,045 --> 00:02:12,713
or a-a... or a...

55
00:02:12,747 --> 00:02:14,314
Oh, God, that is so annoying.

56
00:02:14,349 --> 00:02:16,516
Stay-at-home mom.

57
00:02:16,551 --> 00:02:18,852
It was right in front of me the whole time.

58
00:02:21,356 --> 00:02:24,624
Thanks for the bartending job, Roger.

59
00:02:24,659 --> 00:02:26,793
My dad is insisting I pay rent.

60
00:02:26,828 --> 00:02:28,061
I don't blame him.

61
00:02:28,096 --> 00:02:29,796
Somebody's got to pay for all this neon,

62
00:02:29,831 --> 00:02:31,131
and it's not gonna be me.

63
00:02:31,165 --> 00:02:33,533
All my money goes to
experimental VD treatments.

64
00:02:33,568 --> 00:02:35,335
Anyway, now that you're a bartender,

65
00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:37,404
people are gonna share a
lot of things with you,

66
00:02:37,438 --> 00:02:39,806
and the better listener you are,
the better tips you'll get.

67
00:02:39,841 --> 00:02:41,141
Except for Carlos.

68
00:02:41,175 --> 00:02:43,010
He's gonna offer you a tip.

69
00:02:43,044 --> 00:02:44,244
You don't want that tip.

70
00:02:44,278 --> 00:02:46,213
That tip is connected to his body.

71
00:02:47,548 --> 00:02:50,784
I am so excited to share <i>Das Boot</i> with you.

72
00:02:50,818 --> 00:02:53,887
This is the greatest
German movie of all time.

73
00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:56,723
If you don't count the Hindenburg footage.

74
00:03:00,428 --> 00:03:02,529
What's so funny?
They're just eating dinner.

75
00:03:02,563 --> 00:03:06,333
It's a reference to <i>Das Kleines</i>
<i>Madchen und Der Zwergenhafter.</i>

76
00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,668
The Little Girl and the Little Person?

77
00:03:08,703 --> 00:03:09,669
No idea.

78
00:03:09,704 --> 00:03:11,038
What?

79
00:03:11,072 --> 00:03:13,540
You don't know the famous German fairy tale

80
00:03:13,574 --> 00:03:15,976
The Little Girl and the Little Person?

81
00:03:17,879 --> 00:03:19,446
You can't fully appreciate this movie

82
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,014
without knowing this story.

83
00:03:22,717 --> 00:03:25,485
Once upon a time, there was a little girl

84
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,889
with hair as golden as sauerkraut.

85
00:03:28,923 --> 00:03:32,125
Das Madchen <i>was taking</i>
<i>her beloved schnauzer</i>

86
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,927
<i>for a walk one day,</i>

87
00:03:33,961 --> 00:03:36,129
<i>when she came upon a little person</i>

88
00:03:36,164 --> 00:03:37,631
<i>toiling in the fields.</i>

89
00:03:37,665 --> 00:03:39,099
Why am I the little girl?

90
00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:40,734
And why am I the little person?

91
00:03:40,768 --> 00:03:42,602
<i>Because German kinder do what they're told!</i>

92
00:03:42,637 --> 00:03:44,004
<i>Now shut up and listen!</i>

93
00:03:44,038 --> 00:03:46,873
<i>Suddenly, the little person saw an eagle</i>

94
00:03:46,908 --> 00:03:48,708
<i>soaring overhead.</i>

95
00:03:48,743 --> 00:03:50,644
<i>Achtung,</i> an eagle.

96
00:03:50,678 --> 00:03:52,345
<i>The little girl cowered,</i>

97
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:54,981
<i>since we all know</i>
<i>what natural sworn enemies</i>

98
00:03:55,016 --> 00:03:56,483
<i>schnauzers and eagles are.</i>

99
00:03:56,517 --> 00:03:58,218
<i>Wait, why schnauzers and eagles</i>

100
00:03:58,252 --> 00:04:00,253
<i>be natural sworn enemies?</i>

101
00:04:00,288 --> 00:04:01,488
What?!

102
00:04:01,522 --> 00:04:03,723
You don't know the story of the schnauzer

103
00:04:03,758 --> 00:04:05,826
who stole the eagle's worm?

104
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:08,462
Well, now I have to tell
you that story first,

105
00:04:08,496 --> 00:04:10,197
because you can't get the other story

106
00:04:10,231 --> 00:04:11,631
without knowing this story.

107
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:16,036
Once upon a time...

108
00:04:17,038 --> 00:04:19,639
Oh, God.

109
00:04:23,678 --> 00:04:25,879
Stan, I know you want Hayley

110
00:04:25,913 --> 00:04:29,249
to learn to take care of
herself, but is Roger's bar

111
00:04:29,283 --> 00:04:31,118
the healthiest environment for her?

112
00:04:31,152 --> 00:04:33,420
Will you go up there and see if she's okay?

113
00:04:33,454 --> 00:04:35,222
Spy on Hayley? Sure.

114
00:04:35,256 --> 00:04:37,124
It's been years since I've gone undercover.

115
00:04:37,158 --> 00:04:39,226
Let me refresh myself on my special skills.

116
00:04:43,030 --> 00:04:44,731
Oye, dis'll be as easy

117
00:04:44,765 --> 00:04:48,235
as rolling a spliff in Kingston Town, mon.

118
00:05:03,985 --> 00:05:06,453
How do you do that, man?

119
00:05:17,865 --> 00:05:19,699
Good Lord, Francine is right.

120
00:05:19,734 --> 00:05:21,468
I can't let Hayley work here.

121
00:05:21,502 --> 00:05:23,837
Want to know what I really think?

122
00:05:23,871 --> 00:05:26,606
Agents don't have any style anymore.

123
00:05:26,641 --> 00:05:30,610
If some agent today were
to have the sense of élan

124
00:05:30,645 --> 00:05:34,981
to walk into my office
wearing a pocket square,

125
00:05:35,016 --> 00:05:37,350
what I wouldn't do for that man.

126
00:05:37,385 --> 00:05:40,220
Maybe even let him into the Inner Circle?

127
00:05:41,222 --> 00:05:42,622
I'll have another.

128
00:05:42,657 --> 00:05:44,457
And pour one for yourself.

129
00:05:44,492 --> 00:05:46,059
Sorry, on the clock.

130
00:05:46,093 --> 00:05:48,161
But I insist.

131
00:05:48,196 --> 00:05:50,197
Okay, why not?

132
00:05:53,201 --> 00:05:54,834
Don't get too drunk, Avery.

133
00:05:54,869 --> 00:05:56,903
I know you're a guy with a lot of secrets,

134
00:05:56,938 --> 00:05:58,438
and, you know, loose lips.

135
00:05:58,472 --> 00:05:59,739
You're my bartender.

136
00:05:59,774 --> 00:06:02,475
If I can't share with you, who can I?

137
00:06:02,510 --> 00:06:05,879
I might even tell you my favorite animal.

138
00:06:05,913 --> 00:06:07,147
I'll give you a hint.

139
00:06:07,181 --> 00:06:09,583
Meow.

140
00:06:11,118 --> 00:06:13,587
Francine, what the hell is a pocket square?

141
00:06:13,621 --> 00:06:15,255
What?
It's a decorative kerchief.

142
00:06:15,289 --> 00:06:16,123
Who cares?

143
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,264
How was the bar?

144
00:06:17,384 --> 00:06:19,473
Is Hayley gonna be okay working up there?

145
00:06:19,593 --> 00:06:21,094
Oh, oh, great bar.

146
00:06:21,128 --> 00:06:22,329
Great bar, classy bar.

147
00:06:26,297 --> 00:06:28,802
Free drinks for everyone
who saw him threaten me.

148
00:06:28,836 --> 00:06:31,004
Great bar.

149
00:06:35,841 --> 00:06:39,441
All right, pocket square,
time to work your magic.

150
00:06:39,669 --> 00:06:41,536
This is Rihanna.

151
00:06:41,571 --> 00:06:43,271
This is Katy Perry.

152
00:06:43,306 --> 00:06:45,540
This is Selena Gomez.

153
00:06:45,575 --> 00:06:47,976
All right, that completes today's hotties.

154
00:06:48,011 --> 00:06:50,946
Smith, this meeting doesn't concern you.

155
00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:53,148
If we need...

156
00:06:56,052 --> 00:06:57,419
I'm sorry.

157
00:06:57,453 --> 00:07:00,088
I didn't mean to use a harsh tone there.

158
00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:03,725
Would you step into my office, please?

159
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,460
We're not to be disturbed.

160
00:07:07,096 --> 00:07:09,765
Unless you see something funny on YouTube.

161
00:07:09,799 --> 00:07:14,169
Smith, I had no idea you
rock it in the pocket.

162
00:07:14,203 --> 00:07:15,504
Feast your eyes.

163
00:07:18,541 --> 00:07:20,609
You like pocket squares, too?

164
00:07:20,643 --> 00:07:23,545
I do. In fact, the first time I wore one,

165
00:07:23,579 --> 00:07:25,947
I was at Buzz Aldrin's bachelor party.

166
00:07:25,982 --> 00:07:29,418
Oh, you're not in the Inner Circle,

167
00:07:29,452 --> 00:07:30,786
but keep up the good work.

168
00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:31,953
Sir, come quick.

169
00:07:31,988 --> 00:07:34,389
Some frat boys put sunglasses on a bulldog,

170
00:07:34,424 --> 00:07:37,325
and he's walking around
to "Bad to the Bone."

171
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,361
They're pulling him in a wagon now!

172
00:07:43,966 --> 00:07:46,568
Hayley?

173
00:07:46,602 --> 00:07:48,770
Hey, button-nose,
time to get up.

174
00:07:48,805 --> 00:07:50,238
Got to get ready for work.

175
00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:51,873
Not feeling so good.

176
00:07:51,908 --> 00:07:53,241
So, listen, I couldn't help but notice

177
00:07:53,276 --> 00:07:54,976
that Bullock was in the bar last night.

178
00:07:55,011 --> 00:07:56,445
Any fun stories or anything?

179
00:07:56,479 --> 00:07:58,280
Dad, I can't tell you that.

180
00:07:58,314 --> 00:07:59,581
Bartender's code.

181
00:07:59,615 --> 00:08:00,682
Oh, no, no, of course.

182
00:08:00,717 --> 00:08:02,284
You don't need to tell me about codes.

183
00:08:02,318 --> 00:08:03,819
Morse, da Vinci, I follow them all.

184
00:08:03,853 --> 00:08:05,053
Now get up.

185
00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:07,589
Important people need
to unload their secrets on you.

186
00:08:07,623 --> 00:08:09,691
But I'm-I'm just
so hungover.

187
00:08:09,726 --> 00:08:11,426
Bullock's there every night,

188
00:08:11,461 --> 00:08:13,595
and he always insists
that I drink with him.

189
00:08:13,629 --> 00:08:15,964
Oh, maybe I should just
get a different job.

190
00:08:15,998 --> 00:08:17,432
What? Oh, no, no, no.

191
00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:18,967
Come on now, that's where you're working.

192
00:08:19,001 --> 00:08:21,903
Now, let's not have any silly
talk of you quitting that job.

193
00:08:21,938 --> 00:08:24,673
Quitting is for Realtors
before they become Realtors.

194
00:08:24,707 --> 00:08:26,708
I'll leave you with that.

195
00:08:30,813 --> 00:08:34,449
<i>And so the Frog King
said to the</i> Burgermeister...

196
00:08:34,484 --> 00:08:36,551
At long last, Herr Frederick,

197
00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:38,353
what gift have you brought for me?

198
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:41,022
The only gift I have, <i>mein King,</i>

199
00:08:41,057 --> 00:08:44,526
is the gift of <i>Liebenspiel.</i>

200
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,994
<i>The end.</i>

201
00:08:46,028 --> 00:08:48,063
<i>I know I'm gonna regret this,</i>

202
00:08:48,097 --> 00:08:50,832
<i>but what exactly is</i> Liebenspiel?

203
00:08:50,867 --> 00:08:52,200
What?!

204
00:08:52,235 --> 00:08:54,736
You don't know the meaning of <i>Liebenspiel?</i>

205
00:08:54,771 --> 00:08:56,538
Stop asking questions!

206
00:08:56,572 --> 00:08:58,940
We've been listening
to these stupid stories forever.

207
00:08:58,975 --> 00:09:01,943
I can't take another day off school.

208
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:07,215
Hey, button-nose.
Now, don't worry.

209
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:09,584
I'm not gonna ask you to
break the bartender's code.

210
00:09:09,619 --> 00:09:11,220
I just thought I'd bring you some flowers

211
00:09:11,254 --> 00:09:12,554
to show how proud I am of you.

212
00:09:12,588 --> 00:09:14,122
Don't water these.

213
00:09:14,157 --> 00:09:16,024
Aw, thank you.

214
00:09:16,058 --> 00:09:17,759
That's very thoughtful of you.

215
00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:19,694
Hayley, are you drunk?

216
00:09:19,729 --> 00:09:21,763
Hey, I'm just doing what you told me to do.

217
00:09:21,798 --> 00:09:22,964
I'm doing my job.

218
00:09:22,999 --> 00:09:24,239
Well, maybe your mother's right.

219
00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:26,201
Maybe this isn't the healthiest
environment for you.

220
00:09:26,235 --> 00:09:27,402
You should quit.

221
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:28,670
Hello.

222
00:09:30,873 --> 00:09:33,241
But you're clearly too legit to quit.

223
00:09:33,276 --> 00:09:35,277
Hey, hey!

224
00:09:38,014 --> 00:09:40,248
Barkeep, line them up.

225
00:09:40,283 --> 00:09:42,250
Hayley, did I ever tell you

226
00:09:42,285 --> 00:09:46,188
about the time I murdered
the entire Bolshoi ballet?

227
00:09:46,222 --> 00:09:50,325
It was also the weekend I discovered Crocs.

228
00:10:39,775 --> 00:10:41,109
And now I'd like to welcome

229
00:10:41,143 --> 00:10:45,146
the newest member of our
Inner Circle, Stan Smith.

230
00:10:47,483 --> 00:10:49,784
That means you're out, Quackenbush.

231
00:10:51,854 --> 00:10:54,322
Well, we got the chair right.

232
00:10:54,357 --> 00:10:57,125
There's just the small matter
of the ceiling.

233
00:11:05,935 --> 00:11:07,802
Hayley?

234
00:11:08,838 --> 00:11:10,438
I knew this was a mistake.

235
00:11:10,473 --> 00:11:11,873
Hayley, get up!

236
00:11:11,908 --> 00:11:14,509
I am showing Dad I'm responsible.

237
00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:17,412
When did I eat vomit?

238
00:11:17,446 --> 00:11:19,414
Hayley, you have a problem!

239
00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:20,949
Oh, you want to go, bitch?

240
00:11:20,983 --> 00:11:22,117
Let's go!

241
00:11:23,819 --> 00:11:25,353
Ooh, shiny!

242
00:11:25,388 --> 00:11:27,889
Hey, that's my badass Stingray!

243
00:11:27,924 --> 00:11:29,291
Hayley, are you okay?!

244
00:11:29,325 --> 00:11:30,358
Lucky she's drunk.

245
00:11:30,393 --> 00:11:32,027
When you're drunk, your body goes limp

246
00:11:32,061 --> 00:11:34,596
so you don't get hurt when you fall.
Really?

247
00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:37,098
Oh, yeah, that's how Gary Busey
did all his own stunts.

248
00:11:38,134 --> 00:11:41,269
Hayley, stop!
Please come back!

249
00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:49,044
Nice...
Nice...

250
00:11:55,418 --> 00:11:57,686
My bumper car's not working.

251
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:58,954
Lucky you were drunk.

252
00:11:58,988 --> 00:12:00,956
When you're drunk, your body goes limp

253
00:12:00,990 --> 00:12:02,590
and you don't get hurt when you crash.

254
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:03,792
Really?

255
00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:06,628
Yeah, that's how I did my stunts.

256
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:14,002
Hey, you stepped in something, Quackenbush!

257
00:12:16,472 --> 00:12:17,505
Hello?

258
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:19,274
Stan, Hayley's in rehab.

259
00:12:19,308 --> 00:12:21,443
Hayley's in rehab?! Hold on.

260
00:12:21,477 --> 00:12:24,379
I'm in the Inner Circle,
Hayley's out of the house.

261
00:12:24,413 --> 00:12:25,413
There's no downside.

262
00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:26,881
Wait... whose car did she crash?

263
00:12:26,916 --> 00:12:28,049
Roger's.
Great, bye.

264
00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:32,020
Rehab?

265
00:12:34,557 --> 00:12:36,958
Hey, we'd like to rent <i>Das Boot.</i>

266
00:12:36,993 --> 00:12:38,827
Whoa! That's so weird.

267
00:12:38,861 --> 00:12:40,362
Some orange dude just came in here

268
00:12:40,396 --> 00:12:43,098
and rented our last two copies.

269
00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:47,135
Klaus! We just wanted
to watch the movie

270
00:12:47,169 --> 00:12:50,071
without having to listen
to all your Germanic folktales.

271
00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:53,575
Yes, you two always try
to take the easy way out.

272
00:12:53,609 --> 00:12:57,278
Just like the story of <i>Die
Krankenschwester und Der Augenblick.</i>

273
00:12:57,313 --> 00:12:58,613
What's that story?

274
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,048
What?!

275
00:13:00,082 --> 00:13:03,785
Stoner video clerk, you
don't know the story of

276
00:13:03,819 --> 00:13:06,054
<i>Die Krankenschwester und Der Augenblick?!</i>

277
00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:10,392
Bro. Bro, bro,
bro, bro...

278
00:13:10,426 --> 00:13:11,793
are you Nemo?

279
00:13:11,827 --> 00:13:14,629
People are looking for you, bro.

280
00:13:17,166 --> 00:13:19,801
Attention, Inner Circle.

281
00:13:19,835 --> 00:13:22,037
Hayley Smith has just entered rehab.

282
00:13:22,071 --> 00:13:23,238
This is her.

283
00:13:23,272 --> 00:13:24,906
She has classified intel.

284
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,542
I have no idea how she obtained it,

285
00:13:27,576 --> 00:13:29,577
but as part of her treatment,

286
00:13:29,612 --> 00:13:31,579
she'll no doubt be forced to open up

287
00:13:31,614 --> 00:13:33,681
to a bunch
of loose-lipped drunks.

288
00:13:33,716 --> 00:13:36,618
Therefore, she must be eliminated.

289
00:13:37,953 --> 00:13:39,220
Oh, right, Smith.

290
00:13:39,255 --> 00:13:41,756
Still not used to you being in
the Inner Circle.

291
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:45,326
Of course we won't be
killing your daughter.

292
00:13:45,361 --> 00:13:47,362
Just a little joke there.

293
00:13:47,396 --> 00:13:50,398
But seriously, could you leave the room?

294
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:51,933
Sure.

295
00:13:51,967 --> 00:13:53,501
No problem.

296
00:13:54,537 --> 00:13:56,304
I was joking about joking.

297
00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:59,507
The killing of Hayley Smith
is very much on.

298
00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:02,110
I'll tell you what else is still on...

299
00:14:02,144 --> 00:14:05,080
our afternoon pants trading.

300
00:14:05,114 --> 00:14:06,948
Gentlemen?

301
00:14:08,484 --> 00:14:10,285
Can I get your underpants, too?

302
00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:12,520
Mine are... kinda gross.

303
00:14:18,676 --> 00:14:19,854
I need to see my daughter!

304
00:14:19,974 --> 00:14:20,760
I'm sorry, sir,

305
00:14:20,887 --> 00:14:22,788
I'm afraid it's patients only
beyond this point.

306
00:14:22,822 --> 00:14:24,189
Oh, what am I talking about?

307
00:14:24,224 --> 00:14:26,625
I don't have a daughter.
I'm drunk! I need help!

308
00:14:26,659 --> 00:14:28,327
There's no way I should
be behind the wheel!

309
00:14:28,361 --> 00:14:31,163
Listen to how I'm slurring my words.

310
00:14:31,197 --> 00:14:33,031
Sir, that's not convincing at all.

311
00:14:33,566 --> 00:14:35,734
I'm telling you, I'm a menace!

312
00:14:35,768 --> 00:14:36,968
Argh!

313
00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:38,403
Sir, now you're just doing a pirate.

314
00:14:38,437 --> 00:14:39,838
Damn it!

315
00:14:58,324 --> 00:14:59,524
That's it!

316
00:14:59,558 --> 00:15:02,727
Now get in there, ya drunk son of a bitch!

317
00:15:05,698 --> 00:15:08,433
Hey, aren't you The Most
Interesting Man in the World?

318
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,768
What are you doing here?

319
00:15:09,802 --> 00:15:14,572
I don't always drink beer, but
when I do, I drink to excess.

320
00:15:14,607 --> 00:15:16,241
Dad?
Hayley?

321
00:15:16,275 --> 00:15:18,343
Oh, my God! I just
remembered why I'm here!

322
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:21,279
Oh, good. Then perhaps you could
share it with the rest of us.

323
00:15:21,313 --> 00:15:23,048
Dr. Penguin?
What are you doing here?

324
00:15:23,082 --> 00:15:24,315
I run this group.

325
00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:26,070
I've had my own issues
with substance abuse,

326
00:15:26,085 --> 00:15:28,286
and the cash I make from this gig helps me

327
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:29,587
to continue to have them.

328
00:15:29,622 --> 00:15:32,090
So... Stan,
why are you here?

329
00:15:32,124 --> 00:15:34,693
Because my daughter knows all
these secrets about the CIA,

330
00:15:34,727 --> 00:15:36,561
and they're sending people
to have her killed!

331
00:15:36,595 --> 00:15:38,196
What?!
That's right!

332
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:39,831
We have to get you out of here!

333
00:15:39,865 --> 00:15:41,666
Stan, look at me.
Why are you here?

334
00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:42,767
I just told you!

335
00:15:42,802 --> 00:15:45,336
Stan...
why are you here?

336
00:15:49,608 --> 00:15:51,710
Because I'm no good.

337
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:54,245
I pushed my daughter to become a drunk

338
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,781
just so I could get ahead at work.

339
00:15:56,816 --> 00:15:58,883
And I didn't even prepare her for life.

340
00:15:58,918 --> 00:16:00,719
She can't even take care of herself!

341
00:16:00,753 --> 00:16:04,522
I'm a terrible father!

342
00:16:04,557 --> 00:16:06,491
There we go.

343
00:16:06,525 --> 00:16:08,727
Dad, that's not true.

344
00:16:08,761 --> 00:16:10,361
You're a great father.

345
00:16:10,396 --> 00:16:13,064
Oh, you're just saying that
because you're so stupid.

346
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,533
See, people?

347
00:16:15,568 --> 00:16:17,802
We're all about breaking down walls here.

348
00:16:19,004 --> 00:16:20,271
Go, go, go!

349
00:16:20,306 --> 00:16:21,973
No, stop, stop, stop!

350
00:16:22,007 --> 00:16:25,243
Tell me, friend, how did breaking
down that wall make you feel?

351
00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,412
Sir, I don't have time for...

352
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:35,320
If only I could have broken
down the wall between me and my ex,

353
00:16:35,354 --> 00:16:37,922
I might still see my kids!

354
00:16:39,258 --> 00:16:40,291
Oh, God.

355
00:16:40,326 --> 00:16:42,827
They call Ron "Dad".

356
00:16:42,862 --> 00:16:45,096
This is good.
This is healthy.

357
00:16:45,131 --> 00:16:46,498
I'm creating a connection.

358
00:16:46,532 --> 00:16:47,699
And a diversion.

359
00:16:47,733 --> 00:16:50,001
Run, you idiot!

360
00:17:03,249 --> 00:17:04,716
This way!

361
00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:12,190
Hayley, what did you do?

362
00:17:12,224 --> 00:17:13,558
We have nowhere to go!

363
00:17:13,592 --> 00:17:15,160
Yes, we do.
We're gonna drink this,

364
00:17:15,194 --> 00:17:17,362
and then we're gonna jump off the roof,

365
00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:19,864
but we're gonna be fine,
because our bodies'll go limp.

366
00:17:19,899 --> 00:17:21,199
This is a terrible idea.

367
00:17:21,233 --> 00:17:23,768
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink!

368
00:17:25,905 --> 00:17:28,540
This was, this was a great idea!

369
00:17:28,574 --> 00:17:30,341
I know, right?!

370
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:40,151
Ooh, grab-grab that cab.

371
00:17:44,256 --> 00:17:46,891
Hey, so what's the
craziest thing you ever...

372
00:17:46,926 --> 00:17:48,993
has ever happened in this cab?

373
00:17:49,028 --> 00:17:51,362
So-so how many
hours did...? Sir?

374
00:17:51,397 --> 00:17:53,097
How many, how long ago when you...?

375
00:18:00,673 --> 00:18:03,508
Did the cabbie survive?

376
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:07,245
No. The damn fool
was driving sober!

377
00:18:08,814 --> 00:18:10,915
We gotta find a place to hide!

378
00:18:10,950 --> 00:18:12,450
We-we need a parade.

379
00:18:12,484 --> 00:18:14,219
When-when's
Chinese New Year?

380
00:18:14,253 --> 00:18:16,454
Or we could just go in that Dumpster.

381
00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:23,728
Do you smell that?

382
00:18:23,762 --> 00:18:28,566
Oh, my God, this must be the
Dumpster for a pancake house.

383
00:18:29,702 --> 00:18:31,836
How good are these?

384
00:18:31,871 --> 00:18:33,071
So... good.

385
00:18:33,105 --> 00:18:34,706
Oh, my God, I had...

386
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,507
My friend went to Vegas once,

387
00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:38,443
and he said that he has found,

388
00:18:38,477 --> 00:18:42,080
he found a place with, that has,
like, the best pancakes.

389
00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:46,751
Hey, it's the guys from your office!

390
00:18:46,785 --> 00:18:48,319
Oh, right!

391
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:53,958
Leave it!
We don't have time!

392
00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:03,735
You know what's crazy?

393
00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:07,438
This already happened for people in Europe.

394
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:11,809
We're trapped!

395
00:19:11,844 --> 00:19:13,478
I'm really scared.

396
00:19:13,512 --> 00:19:16,481
See, this is why you should
never eat lobsters.

397
00:19:16,515 --> 00:19:17,815
Why?

398
00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:21,319
'Cause-'cause they get,
they get caught in a trap.

399
00:19:21,353 --> 00:19:23,922
I'm sorry it had to come to this, Smith.

400
00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:25,924
All right, Hayley, where do you want it?

401
00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,859
In the face.
Yeah!

402
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:30,995
But before you do this,
you might be interested

403
00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:34,265
to know that I wrote down
all those dirty little secrets

404
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,367
that you told me at the bar:

405
00:19:36,402 --> 00:19:40,004
the Nepal slaughter,
the Copenhagen incident,

406
00:19:40,039 --> 00:19:42,140
the nuclear war in Chicago.

407
00:19:42,174 --> 00:19:44,142
We can't let that get out!

408
00:19:44,176 --> 00:19:47,478
It's all in a manila envelope
with strict instructions

409
00:19:47,513 --> 00:19:49,447
that if anything happens to me,

410
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:52,717
it will be released to every
major newspaper in America!

411
00:19:52,751 --> 00:19:54,052
So?

412
00:19:54,086 --> 00:19:55,286
And to the Internet.

413
00:19:59,158 --> 00:20:02,126
Well played, young Smith.

414
00:20:02,161 --> 00:20:05,630
As for you, old Smith, you're
out of the Inner Circle.

415
00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:07,832
Please forget
the Wi-Fi password.

416
00:20:09,935 --> 00:20:11,436
That was amazing!

417
00:20:11,470 --> 00:20:13,805
Hayley, do you realize what this means?

418
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:17,175
It means you <i>can</i> take care of yourself!

419
00:20:17,209 --> 00:20:19,143
You're gonna be just fine after all!

420
00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:20,378
I told you!

421
00:20:20,412 --> 00:20:21,946
Button-nose.

422
00:20:23,215 --> 00:20:24,582
You ready to go home?

423
00:20:24,616 --> 00:20:25,817
You bet.

424
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:38,163
Hi, I'm Nicholas Vanderbilt, the
actor who plays Stan Smith.

425
00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:39,931
And I'm Kate Fagan, aka Hayley.

426
00:20:39,966 --> 00:20:41,866
You know, we've had some fun tonight

427
00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:43,477
suggesting drunken people are less likely

428
00:20:43,502 --> 00:20:45,470
to be injured in falls and crashes.

429
00:20:45,504 --> 00:20:47,739
The dark reality is that alcohol makes

430
00:20:47,773 --> 00:20:50,008
each of these far more
likely... and deadly.

431
00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:52,344
So, please, if you're going to crash a car

432
00:20:52,378 --> 00:20:54,765
or jump off a building, do it sober.

433
00:20:54,885 --> 00:20:55,782
Hang in there.

434
00:20:55,902 --> 00:20:57,482
You are loved and you are special.

435
00:20:57,602 --> 00:20:58,785
Good night.

436
00:21:08,253 --> 00:21:09,721
That was amazing!

437
00:21:09,755 --> 00:21:11,089
And so much more meaningful

438
00:21:11,123 --> 00:21:12,403
with all the cultural references.

439
00:21:12,424 --> 00:21:13,458
I told you.

440
00:21:13,492 --> 00:21:15,960
There's only one thing I don't understand.

441
00:21:15,995 --> 00:21:18,196
Why were they all fighting
in the first place?

442
00:21:18,230 --> 00:21:20,231
Yeah. What-what was
that all about?

443
00:21:20,265 --> 00:21:22,700
What?! You don't know why

444
00:21:22,735 --> 00:21:26,137
the Americans and Germans were
fighting in World War II?!

445
00:21:26,171 --> 00:21:29,140
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">web dl sync snarry</font>

446
00:21:29,174 --> 00:21:30,642
Nobody knows.

447
00:21:30,676 --> 00:21:32,710
Bye! Have a beautiful time.

