1
00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,712
So I'm thinking we serve the good wine
before the ceremony. . .

2
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,758
. . .and then at the reception,
after everybody's got a buzz on. . .

3
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,911
. . .we uncork the crap.

4
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:16,311
Alan, I do not want to cheap out on
what is very possibly my last wedding.

5
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,155
He's always been stingy.

6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,756
I remember once when he was a little
boy, he accidentally swallowed a quarter.

7
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,229
Refused to poop for a week.

8
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,919
Mom, for God's sakes,
this is my future stepsister.

9
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,310
Oh, relax, Alan. I think it's cute.

10
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,473
Cute? He's so tight, I wouldn't have been
surprised if only two dimes came out.

11
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,636
Mom, I'm begging you.

12
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,392
Would you feel better if I told you
something embarrassing about me?

13
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,232
-Yes.
-Promise not to laugh?

14
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,035
-I promise.
-All right.

15
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,994
I have never in my life refused to poop.

16
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,597
You are so mean. I love you.

17
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,908
I think I liked it better
when you two didn't get along.

18
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,399
Well, those days are over.

19
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,075
Once I saw how happy Evy makes
my father, I could've married her myself.

20
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,755
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
And you're like the daughter I never had.

21
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,114
Not that he didn't try.

22
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,190
You should have seen him parading
around in my earrings and my high heels.

23
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,316
"Look at me, Mommy, I'm pretty. "

24
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:26,995
He wasn't, of course.

25
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,553
Oh, darling, I'm just teasing you.

26
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:33,869
You're all man.

27
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,559
Thanks.

28
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,119
Okay, let's talk appetizers.

29
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:43,112
Hey, Alan, how long do I have
before Bridezilla gets here?

30
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,990
Gee, Charlie,
I don't know what you're talking about.

31
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,116
She's already here, isn't she?

32
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,032
Yes, dear. Come on down.

33
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,228
It's a little game we play.

34
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,472
I show him unconditional love,
and he's an ungrateful little pissant.

35
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,078
-Hey, Mom.
-Hello, dear.

36
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,151
You remember Teddy's daughter,
Courtney?

37
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,912
How could I forget?

38
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,469
-Nice to see you again.
-Nice to see you too.

39
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,637
Courtney and your brother are helping
me with the wedding arrangements.

40
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,839
It's your fifth wedding, Mom.
What do you need help with?

41
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,670
Besides remembering the groom's name?

42
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,793
I'd cut him out of the will if I thought
there was a chance he'd outlive me.

43
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,593
Hello? Oh, Teddy, darling.

44
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,352
What's up?

45
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,268
Excuse me.

46
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,398
That's wonderful.
Can you keep it up till I get there?

47
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,273
All right, I want to make sure
we're all on the same page here.

48
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,510
This wedding will be ruined
if Mom finds out. . .

49
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,877
. . .her son and future stepdaughter
have been carrying on behind her back.

50
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,234
-Don't worry.
-She won't.

51
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,551
No, I do worry.
There can be no flirting, no innuendo.

52
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,270
Don't worry about "innuendo,"
worry about "in-her-end-o. "

53
00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:00,279
Everybody keeps their troublemakers
in their pants.

54
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,159
Hey, I'll cooperate,
but I can't speak for my troublemaker.

55
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,828
Alan, Teddy wants to talk to you
about the boutonnieres.

56
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,797
Coming.

57
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,996
I knew he'd fight me on this.

58
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,080
So when can we get together?

59
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,674
We can't. You and I are done.

60
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,671
Why? Just because of what Alan said?
Nobody listens to Alan.

61
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,638
Hell, half the time,
Alan doesn't listen to Alan.

62
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,031
I finally have a good relationship
with your mother. I'd like to keep it.

63
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,397
Hey, a good relationship with my mother
is highly overrated.

64
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,279
Look at me,
I've gone my whole life without one.

65
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:40,592
Charlie, get it through your head.
You and I, no more.

66
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:47,792
If it were that simple,
they wouldn't call it "troublemaker. "

67
00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,310
I'd like to make a little toast.
To our families coming together.

68
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,629
Hear, hear.

69
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,155
-To coming together.
-<i>No.</i>

70
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,671
Evelyn is gaining a daughter
and I'm gaining two sons.

71
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,400
-And a grandson.
-Don't interrupt.

72
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,588
I'd like to say something else. I want
this to be an old-fashioned marriage.

73
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,832
Darling, what's mine is yours.

74
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,353
We do not need a prenup.

75
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,790
Teddy, we've talked about this.

76
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,758
You have a lot of money.
You should be protected.

77
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,876
I don't need to be protected
from you, baby.

78
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,349
-Daddy, wait a minute.
-This is none of your business.

79
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,795
-But, Dad.
-But nothing.

80
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,473
I love this woman.

81
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,551
And I'm not gonna bet
against our marriage. . .

82
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,517
. . .by bringing a bunch of lawyers
into it.

83
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,190
-He must really love her.
-Yeah.

84
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,759
The schmuck.

85
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,512
Excuse me.

86
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,960
I had a thought about the ice sculpture.

87
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,559
A lot of people go with Cupid. . .

88
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,314
. . .but you gotta remember,
the bow and arrow melts first. . .

89
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,313
. . .and what you're left with
is a fat kid dancing in shrimp.

90
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,468
There's gonna be shrimp?

91
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,513
For the guests.

92
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,070
-So what am I?
-Don't feed me straight lines, dear.

93
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,038
Excuse me.

94
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,872
Why would I feed her straight lines
if there's shrimp?

95
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:41,833
-I'll be out in a minute.
-I can't wait. You'd better let me in now.

96
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,752
Charlie, get out of here.

97
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,593
Oh, come on.
You can't just cut me off like this.

98
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,753
Hey, I can cut off whoever
or whatever I want.

99
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,913
Are you playing hard-to-get
because you know it turns me on?

100
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,752
I'm not playing, Charlie.

101
00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:00,151
Okay, I just have to say,
not playing turns me on more.

102
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,876
Charlie, are you in there
with Courtney?

103
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,598
No.

104
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,437
-Hi, Courtney.
-Hey, Alan.

105
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,512
-I thought we had an agreement.
-Yeah.

106
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,399
The agreement was
Mom doesn't find out.

107
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,119
Courtney? Are you okay, dear?

108
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,350
Oh, I'm fine, Evelyn.

109
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,030
I thought you might be upset
about that prenup nonsense.

110
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,272
And I just want you to know,
I'm not after your father's money.

111
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,351
I'm sure you're not.

112
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,076
Believe me,
I've got plenty of my own money.

113
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,994
Of course, don't tell Alan and Charlie,
they're annoying enough as it is.

114
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,478
I won't.

115
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,438
So exactly how rich are you?

116
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:45,955
I do all right.

117
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,917
When you marry my grandma,
what does that make you to me?

118
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,312
Nothing.

119
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:56,509
Sorry, dear.

120
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,035
Oh, that's all right.
I was talking to the kid.

121
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,472
-Isn't that nice?
-You know, even if we're not related. . .

122
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,598
. . .you could still buy me
birthday and Christmas presents.

123
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,871
Thanks for the tip.

124
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,399
I don't believe it.

125
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,235
If Mom's got so much money, how come
we still get books for Christmas?

126
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,754
Let it go, Alan.

127
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,549
Whatever money she has most likely
has got an ancient curse attached to it.

128
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,874
-What are you doing?
-I'm here, I figured what the hell?

129
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,593
-Remember to put the seat back down.
-It's a ladies' room.

130
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,432
Why do they even go up?

131
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:37,752
I don't know. It's a bigger target for
broads who want to puke their dinner.

132
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,039
Makes sense.

133
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,715
All right, let's talk about Courtney.

134
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,590
-What do you want me to tell you?
-Why you're so obsessed with her.

135
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,718
Isn't it obvious?
She drinks, she smokes, she gambles.

136
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,472
She's me with indoor plumbing.

137
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,232
What are you doing in the ladies' room?

138
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:02,879
The men's room was occupied.

139
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,953
Do you have to pee sitting down?

140
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,193
-No, the seats go up.
-Cool.

141
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,668
Hey, it smells nice in here.

142
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,638
Hey, Courtney.
It's Charlie, your brother.

143
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,913
Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for
making a scene there in the restaurant.

144
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,275
I'd still love to get together,
so give me a call.

145
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,796
I'm just sitting at home,
reading a book.

146
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,274
And watching TV.

147
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,956
Disney Channel, <i>101 Dalmatians</i>.

148
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,156
What a great film, huh?

149
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,358
Sat on the remote.

150
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,556
Hey, <i>Apocalypse Now</i>.

151
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,116
Another great movie, huh?

152
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:58,194
Anyway, call me.

153
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,393
-Hi, Charlie.
-Rose?

154
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,915
What the hell are you doing here?

155
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,718
I could ask you that question.

156
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,273
And the answer would be the same:
stalking.

157
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,992
-No. No, I'm not--
-Good at it?

158
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,358
-What do you want?
-Right now or long-term?

159
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:26,589
Rose.

160
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:31,788
I've just been watching you for an hour
and 38 minutes, and I felt bad for you.

161
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,951
I thought maybe
you could use some help.

162
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:35,189
Thanks, but I'm fine.

163
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,669
Really? Did you bring water?

164
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,319
No.

165
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,592
Trail mix?

166
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,159
No.

167
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,278
Pee jar?

168
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,075
-That would have been a great idea.
-Here you go.

169
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,632
-Thank you.
-Let's see. What else?

170
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,392
Night-vision goggles?

171
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,431
-I don't think so.
-You say that now. . .

172
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,751
. . .but if you hide in her trunk
and wanna do a little light reading. . .

173
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,035
. . .you're gonna be sorry.

174
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,794
-I'm fine.
-Okay.

175
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,474
I'll just keep you company.
Give me one of these. . .

176
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,312
. . .if you need to use the pee jar.

177
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:17,357
Charlie, what the hell are you doing?

178
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,637
Hey. Teddy. How are you?

179
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,518
Since when do you drive a Volvo?

180
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,155
It's my brother's car.

181
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,675
Very smart.
She would have spotted your car.

182
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,432
I didn't give you points for that.

183
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,997
I thought you and I
had an understanding. . .

184
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,879
. . .you and my daughter weren't
gonna see each other anymore.

185
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,271
In my defense, we're not really
seeing each other. This is more of a. . . .

186
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,476
Reconnaissance mission.

187
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,552
Who is this?

188
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,797
This is Rose, she's kind of my. . . .

189
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,757
Sidekick.

190
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,793
I don't wanna beat this to death,
but if your mother finds out. . .

191
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,838
. . .you and Courtney are seeing
each other, and I kept it from her. . .

192
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,639
. . .I don't know what she'd do.
Probably call off the wedding.

193
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,950
I'm sorry, Teddy.
I don't want to screw things up.

194
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,395
-Well, then, go home.
-Right.

195
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,478
Nice to meet you, Rose.

196
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,793
Boy, if he was 30 years younger,
I'd be following him.

197
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,911
Oh, what the hell.

198
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,880
You were with her, weren't you?

199
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,351
What are you, my wife?

200
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,758
No, I'm the wedding planner.

201
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,515
I'm the one who's dealing with caterers
and florists and musicians. . .

202
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,638
. . .and parking valets
and a thousand frozen butterflies.

203
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,350
-Frozen butterflies?
-Mom wanted butterflies.

204
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:50,873
What'll she do, eat them?

205
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,951
No, you thaw them out
during the ceremony. . .

206
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,429
. . .and when the bride and groom kiss,
they fly away.

207
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,353
-Is there still gonna be shrimp?
-Yes, there's gonna be shrimp.

208
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,158
Good. I like shrimp.

209
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,676
Charlie, I will not have you
ruin this wedding.

210
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,037
Well, you can relax.
I wasn't with Courtney.

211
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,395
Thank God for that.
So where were you?

212
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,115
Parked outside her apartment.

213
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:16,868
You were stalking her?

214
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:21,389
Oh, man,
why does everybody use that word?

215
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,756
-It has such a bad connotation.
-Charlie, what is wrong with you?

216
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,754
-I've never seen you like this before.
-I know, I know.

217
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,231
I can't get her out of my mind.

218
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,153
I go to sleep thinking about her,
I wake up thinking about her.

219
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,356
The other day,
I stumbled into a three-way--

220
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:45,838
-How do you stumble into a three-way?
-It's usually a roommate thing.

221
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,996
You read about sisters,
but that almost never happens.

222
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,192
Anyway, in order to get through it. . .

223
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,397
. . .I had to fantasize
that both of them were Courtney.

224
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,438
-How sad is that?
-I'm brokenhearted for you.

225
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,035
You know what I think?

226
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,909
I think the only reason you're obsessed
with Courtney is you can't have her.

227
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,911
Well, duh.

228
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:12,837
-Oh, please tell me you're not calling her.
-Of course not.

229
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,592
Hey, Rose, it's Charlie.
Listen, after you're done with Teddy. . .

230
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,558
. . .can you swing by Courtney's
and let me know what she's doing?

231
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,949
Okay, the vows. Now, I understand
you've written your own?

232
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,394
First I'm hearing about it.

233
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:37,838
Oh, forgive me, darling.
I took the liberty of writing both of ours.

234
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,639
I come across kind of fruity, don't I?

235
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:47,472
Well, you're in love with me.
Love makes everyone a little gay.

236
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,714
Terrific.

237
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,030
Please let that be my butterflies.
Please, please, please.

238
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,679
That kid doesn't need butterflies.

239
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,555
Hi, Courtney. Come on in.

240
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,359
No, that's okay.
I just need to talk to my father.

241
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,751
-What's up, baby?
-Is Courtney here?

242
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,519
Hi, Courtney.

243
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,356
Hi, Charlie. Dad, it's kind of private.
Can I talk to you outside, please?

244
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,919
Sure. Excuse me.

245
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,712
Did you happen to see
a frozen-butterfly truck go by?

246
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,919
-Everything okay?
-No, no, everything is not okay.

247
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,399
Always good to see you.

248
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:30,070
-I don't understand why you won't help.
-Damn it, we've been through this.

249
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,390
-I'm not gonna keep bailing you out.
-But, Daddy--

250
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,788
Don't "But, Daddy" me.

251
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,999
Sure makes you feel grateful
that the three of us get along so well.

252
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,472
-Am I supposed to live on the street?
-Live within your means.

253
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,915
You're just gonna turn your back?
Your own daughter?

254
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,833
-Oh, don't be such a drama queen.
-Forget it, I'm out of here.

255
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,877
Courtney, don't be like that.

256
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,549
Okay, the butterflies.

257
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,637
Now, Mom, when you kiss Teddy,
they're gonna be released on the deck.

258
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,793
But there's a fifty-fifty chance that gulls
will swoop down and rip them to shreds.

259
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,559
I'm sorry you heard that.

260
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,156
-Do you want me to talk to her?
-No, no, leave it alone.

261
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,558
I'll go talk to her.

262
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,839
Would either of you care to explain
why he's going to talk to her?

263
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,677
-No.
-No.

264
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,390
-Hi.
-What are you doing here?

265
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,396
I was concerned about you.
I thought maybe I could help.

266
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,637
You can't help me.

267
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,118
Try me.

268
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,193
I was looking at the wrong window.

269
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,357
-What?
-Nice place.

270
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,748
So, what's going on?

271
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,436
What do you want me to tell you,
Charlie?

272
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,273
I lost my job,
I'm about to lose my condo. . .

273
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,352
. . .and my father won't lift a finger
to help me.

274
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,032
How much do you need?

275
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,031
Forget it, I can't take your money.

276
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,471
Well, I hadn't actually offered yet.

277
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:20,712
But we are gonna be family,
and family looks after each other.

278
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,359
I need $50,000.

279
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,558
How about if I talk to your dad?

280
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,512
It's no use.

281
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,955
He's trying to teach me a lesson.

282
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,553
You know, I just
love this place so much.

283
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,997
I put every dime I had into it.

284
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,792
Charlie, what am I gonna do?

285
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,234
You're gonna take
the money from me.

286
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,433
No.

287
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,158
No, it wouldn't be right.

288
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,276
I insist.

289
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,991
<i>Really?</i>

290
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,874
I promise I'll pay you back.

291
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,873
I know you will.

292
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,318
Thank you.

293
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,198
So much.

294
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,197
No, no, no, that's not why
I'm doing this.

295
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,555
I know, I know, but I want you.

296
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:28,915
I want you too. . .

297
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,039
. . .but I don't wanna feel like we're
doing this because I lent you money.

298
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,954
Okay, okay. But soon?

299
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,279
Definitely soon.

300
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,836
-Good night.
-Night.

301
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,991
Oh, hell, if you're okay with it,
I'm okay with it.

302
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,918
"And I promise to honor
and cherish you. . .

303
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,117
. . .to always be there for you
as a trusted friend. . .

304
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,750
. . .devoted husband and selfish lover. "

305
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:14,789
"Selfless. "

306
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,038
Oh, right, selfless.

307
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,033
"And even though
I'm significantly older than you. . .

308
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,549
. . .I feel renewed and replenished. . .

309
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:30,349
. . .every time I drink
the sweet nectar of your youth. "

310
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,277
Pick it up, Teddy.
No one can see butterflies in the dark.

311
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,999
"I remember the first time
I laid eyes on you. . .

312
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:45,077
. . .at one of the many charity events to
which you so tirelessly devote yourself.

313
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,878
You were a vision in Dolce & Gabbana
and compassion.

314
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:55,510
And that first moment we spoke,
the simple melody of your voice. . .

315
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,116
. . .was testimony
to how much the world lost. . .

316
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:03,193
. . .when you gave up
a very promising singing career. . .

317
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,195
. . .in order to raise your two little boys.

318
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,439
Not that they ever appreciated it.

319
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,590
And the lovemaking. . .

320
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,433
. . .what can I say
about the lovemaking?"

321
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:21,515
-I can't say this.
-lf you don't, I will.

322
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:31,359
"As I explored every inch of your firm,
non-surgically-enhanced body. . .

323
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:37,078
. . .I finally learned the meaning
of the words 'heaven on earth' . . .

324
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,072
. . .and 'natural redhead.'

325
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,958
In the words of the Bard:

326
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:51,989
<i>Shall I compare thee</i>
<i>to the summer's day?</i>

327
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,958
<i>Thou art more lovely</i>
<i>and more temperate.</i>

328
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:59,352
<i>Rough winds do shake</i>
<i>The darling buds of May</i>

329
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:00,919
<i>Will you marry me?</i>

330
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,310
<i>And summer's lease</i>
<i>hath all to short a date.</i>

331
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:04,469
-<i>Really?</i>
-<i>Yes.</i>

332
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,710
-<i>So long as men can breathe</i>
-<i>Yes.</i>

333
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,632
-<i>Our eyes can see</i>
-<i>Really?</i>

334
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:13,430
<i>So long lives this,</i>
<i>and gives life to thee. "</i>

335
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,629
You may now kiss the bride.

336
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,075
Do you want me to sweep them up
and pop them in the microwave?

337
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,678
<i>Never mind.</i>

338
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,671
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

339
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,831
[ENGLISH]