(Jenna): Ever since I was a child, I dreamed of myself
in the corner office of the most prestigious law firm in the city.
- Look at these files, ok? - Ooh!
I want it in English.
- You're fired. - Take care.
And when I left,
I let that dream die. But some dreams
- won't go away. - (Phone ringing)
(Sigh)
Hello.
- Hello, Jenna. - Hello, Charisse.
Let me finish.
I made a mistake when I fired you.
But I quit, remember? I handed you your Chlamydia pills
and humiliated you in front of the partners.
Right. Right, yes.
It's not like I didn't have that coming.
Good for you. That took guts. Hang on a sec, ok?
I hate you!
Hey, I was wondering if you'd come back and do
[some freelance work for me.]
No hard feelings. Just easy breezy, loosey goosey.
Just, uh... just fun.
Charisse, thank you,
but I am really happy where I am.
Where are you, by the way?
Um... I'm a little reluctant to give you that information,
[and I'm actually gonna get off this phone call before]
You can trace it. But just know that what I am doing now
[is as exciting and as challenging as any case]
That I could possibly do for you.
- [But thank you.] - Ok, great talking to you.
So, you were saying that your neighbor's fence
is three inches over your property line?
And they didn't even tell me they were putting a fence up!
Ok, thanks, Mitchell. We will take care of your boundary issue. Don't worry.
I wasn't worried. Now I'm gonna worry. Should I be worried?
No, just go home, make yourself a stiff drink...
- what's this? - Speaking of boundary issues...
I've been invited to give a speech.
Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.
"When the law calls."
Ooh, boring. What is this for?
My old high school. They have asked me
to give a speech on the steps to success.
Whoa, whoa. You're gonna give a speech at your old high school?
Your valedictorian speech was epic!
You choked so bad, I almost died laughing.
Jimmy. Here, take a selfie of me.
Ok... yeah, no, mom, a selfie is when you take a picture of yourself.
Hold on, hold on. I can wet my lips. Hold on.
Ok.
There you go.
Ok. Nailed it! Ok, family meeting. I'm online dating.
Meeting over. Glad you're all good with it.
Party girl!
What the hell kind of meeting is that? Huh?
♪ The odds are that we ♪ ♪ will probably be all right ♪
♪ Odds are we're gonna be all right ♪
♪ Odds are we're gonna be ♪ ♪ all right for another night ♪
sync and corrections by ovelheiro www.addic7ed.com
Another great thing about the suburbs: Fresh air.
Sure, it took me a bit to get used to it.
- So, how about you? How's work? - Stress on a stick.
Actually, do you remember those clients that Charisse had?
- Those Mega Meg guys? - Mm, they worked me into the ground.
They want you back!
They asked for you!
Because of that, Charisse wants you on this deal.
Jenna, she sent me.
- I'm not coming back. - No, no, just this one deal,
Jenna. Did I tell you she sent me?
(Cell phone ringing)
Oh, my God. It's her. I'm not talking to her.
Jenna, this is your dream!
Nobody gets a second chance with Charisse.
Phone call for "stupid, ineffectual Victor."
No, I have made my life choice.
- I am happy with it. - Really? The suburbs?
I saw a woman out there with a Fanny pack!
Tell Charisse I am flattered,
- but no, thank you. - Huh!
You killed me!
A Fanny pack!
- Ok, this is wrong. - Totally.
- That we... - Don't know the password.
- ...are on our mother's computer. - Right. That too.
We're in. Oh, God.
A dating website.
- Goldenhookup.com - There she is.
"Ceilthedeal?"
I don't know if I'm ready for mommy do be dating.
Ugh. "Lovely to e-meet you.
I find your messages so charming."
Ok, you know who says words like that? Serial killers.
We need to find out who this guy is, this...
"Silver Fox." How are we gonna do that?
We'll use you as bait!
Yeah, we'll set up a fake profile
- on this site so that you can... - Oh, my God.
Meet an old guy who can pay for everything, and I can just
get my nails done and shop and
have to have sex with him on Sundays. Eh.
Lure this guy, who is trying to snag our mother.
- Right. - Yeah.
- Totally. - Ok, we need a profile that will reel him in.
Profile name?
Barbara Zeta Jones.
Nice.
Ok, and most important part: Profile pic.
Uh.
You got something in the corner of your mouth.
Yeah, right... Right... there.
- Perfect. - Wait, I get photo approval.
Hm. Post it. And can you send me a copy?
Yep.
(School bell)
♪ Well, I tried to ♪ ♪ keep myself together ♪
♪ After all the opportunities ♪
♪ I tried to stay true ♪ ♪ to you and tried to do ♪
♪ What you wanted from me ♪
♪ and I gave it all away ♪
No running in the halls, Ms. Engel.
- Oh, Vice Principal Sternberg. - Principal Sternberg now.
Principal Sternberg. Or should I call you Danielle?
- Call me Principal Sternberg. - Ok.
I am so honored that you asked me to come here and speak and use my...
No humping in the halls, Matthew and Janice. And Stewart.
- So, Jenna. - Yeah.
We have a couple of other local role models
who exemplify our steps to success.
Suzie! Pull your pants up. Higher. Higher.
- (Pants tearing) - Woof. Too high.
Brian! What did I say? What did I...
- Sorry, Principal Sternberg! - Thank you.
We have an astronaut, a paralympic mother of four,
and a high-powered corporate Bay Street lawyer: You.
Wow, I'm not sure I fit in with an astronaut and a paralympian.
I know. I wanted the doctor who fixed cleft palates in Africa.
But there was one student who was just dying to get you in there.
You have the career of her dreams, and she can't wait to meet you.
Well, I'm not actually on Bay Street anymore...
Oh, Aziz, get your fingers out of your nose.
You're a teacher, for God's sake.
(Gasp) Jenna Engel!
I can't believe I'm meeting you.
I want to be a big-time lawyer just like you.
I idolize you.
- That is very sweet. - So, tell me, Jenna,
what's life like on Bay Street? Awesome?
Well, if you call being buried in paperwork,
working 80 hours a week, and having your hair falling out
- in clumps awesome. - But you love it. Right?
Actually, I quit that firm.
You quit your dream?
- Well, kind of, but... - That's my dream too, so...
Lawyer... no future, dreams dead.
Oh, no, no, no, no. It's better. I'm running my own firm in North York.
Did you say New York?
Oh, no. North York. Right across the street.
Jenna, may I speak to you alone?
You quit our dream!
- What is happening? - Wait, no. New dream.
Ok? Great speech. There are steps, there's success.
You're gonna love it.
Can we still get the doctor who fixes cleft palates?
Just wait until you hear the speech, ok?
- When the law calls... - Oh, good lord.
And the God...
And... the children...
such as...
I will show myself out.
You ok, honey?
- You need your puffer? - Yeah.
Ok, so, I rated his profile
and gave him a generous eight.
Ugh, this is such a pathetic way to meet people.
Oh, my God! He gave me a 9.5!
It says here that his name's Anthony.
Anthony.
That name's just dripping with sleaze.
That's your middle name, genius.
- What are you two doing? - Nothing.
Jimmy, are you
snooping on mommy?
- No. - Jimmy, look me in the eyes.
- I am looking at you. - Jimmy.
I was snooping!
Jimmy! I can't believe you.
Precious boy. I know why you're doing it.
- Because of Internet rapists? - Because you love me.
- Oh, for the love of God. - Sweet boy. I know this is a big step.
Mommy going out on dates again, and
maybe making love with a gentleman and I use the word
"gentle" very loosely, if you know what I mean.
Oh. I feel like I've known Anthony forever.
Mother, listen to yourself. This guy could be a psychopath.
Would you give me more credit? I am a very good
judge of character. And so is he.
He rated me a 10. He gave you a 10?
- Why is that so hard to believe? - Well, I could see anything
up to but not including a 9.5, but a 10?
I really think I could have a future with this man.
We have our first date tomorrow night.
I'm gonna "Ceil the deal."
(Ceil chuckling) Oh, my God.
Seriously? A 10?
No one is sealing my mom's deal.
I'm gonna take this guy down,
or my name isn't Jiminy Anthony Engel.
Well, it's actually not Jiminy, but God bless.
Sandy, I need your expertise in scaring the hell out of someone.
"If this fence is not removed within said time-frame,
we will not hesitate to take legal action, including..."
Tap dancing on your cold dead corpse while your family...
ok, not actually legal, but perhaps effective.
I'll take it from here.
Or I could wait until you're done playing dress-up with mom.
Sandy's doing my makeup for my date tonight.
Fun, right? No.
The law is not fun. I did not quit my dream
to sit here and watch my receptionist sister
spackle my paralegal mother.
Spackle? All right, let me see me.
Not yet. This is just the base, miss perfect 10.
- Wha... - I will have you know that this makeover
is not fun for me.
While you're so busy with your high-stakes fence case,
our mother is being stalked by a sick online predator
who's a little fast and free with his 10s.
What is happening?
Jenna. Are you all right?
I'm fine. Just working on my Fence case.
Nothing could be more riveting than watching my dreams die in here.
Jenna darling?
You want to talk?
- Mom. - What?
- Did I give up on my dream? - Your dreams didn't go away.
They're still there.
Whenever you want them, you go and get them.
Yeah. I guess I could go back
one last time,
and that would be the best of both dreams.
Exactly. I mean, look at me.
- Actually, I can't. - I didn't give up on my dreams.
I still have my sexual bucket list.
- Let's just quit while we're ahead. - And I'm just gonna
check it off one by one. All right, wrap it up here.
Good talk. Ok. Oh.
- Mwah. - Aww.
Wonderful job, Sandy!
If I were in for manslaughter.
- Can I help you? - Can you?
- You looking for a suit? - Are you?
Tag is still on the sunglasses.
- I meant to do that. - Of course you did.
Let's try it again.
You looking for a suit? 'Cause I got some great deals.
You disgust me.
Guys like you, taking advantage
of the unsuspecting. You think that just because
you sell suits and I come in here not wearing a suit
that I need a suit?
All I'm saying
is that women like a smart-dressed man.
You see that? Now,
a good-looking guy like you, you're gonna clean up real nice.
I'm a 42 long. French cuffs.
- And I'm not afraid of stripes. - That's what I'm talking about.
You're right. A light shoulder pad never hurt anyone.
It's all about the silhouette.
- You got a boat? - Yeah.
Named after my first wife, Marla. She drowned.
- A boat. - Yeah. My second wife, Patty,
she didn't want to use it that much, but
once she died, I got to use it all the time.
I love boats.
So, what are you saying? You and me? You want to go out?
- Sure! - Yeah?
I mean, I'm not... gay
or whatever, but if you got a boat,
- I might... - I meant for a ride.
Yeah, me too.
Are you kidding me?
Who cares if he has a boat?
He has three dead ex-wives.
Totally. So, he's definitely single. And, Sandy,
it is such a big boat.
Oh? And what's it called, huh? The black widower?
As if. It's called Marla's bones,
and frankly, I feel like you're being way too hard on this nice man
who could be our new daddy.
New dad? He could be a murderer!
That's it, I'm shutting this down.
He might be able to take advantage
of ceil the frickin' deal and boat-lover doofus,
but he's gonna have to deal with 9.5 now.
- It's really you! - Oh! Haha.
I mean, I heard that you were back, but you hear a lot of stories in the basement.
Oh, Victor, I'm not back back. This is just a one-time thing.
So it's true. Jenna Engel has come back.
- Ok, walk with me. - She wants us to walk with...
Not you.
Look who I found!
Everyone's favorite associate,
miss Jenna Engel. You wanted her, I delivered.
So, uh, say hello to her now, because she's gonna be working
so hard on this case, you're probably never gonna see her again.
So, let's, uh, do some hostile takeovers.
Wow, Charisse.
- Thank you for being so... - Get out.
- What? - Deal's closed. They just
needed to think you were on the project. Now they do. Now go, 'cause I win.
Wow. You screwed me over again.
Hats off to you. You're good.
Well, you did quit your job during the middle of a partners
meeting, right? No one humiliates me, Jenna.
You're right, Charisse. That was no way to quit a job.
I just told everyone you were fired anyway, so...
If I could go back in time, I would do it differently.
- Hm. - I would add this.
Ok. Do you feel better?
- Kinda hurt my wrist... - Get out!
You disgust me.
How many hundreds of women have fallen for the Silver Fox?
Well, actually, I've only met one other woman.
An innocent older woman that you've been taking advantage of?
That I've been taking advantage of?
You should see the pictures this woman's been sending me.
Like this one. Look.
That's a reception desk at a law office.
Whoa. Look at this. It's like this woman
doesn't even own underpants.
(Clearing her throat)
This might sound a little forward, but did you murder your wives?
No.
Good enough for me. Barbara Zeta Jones out.
Hey, whoa, whoa, Barbara. Don't go.
Come on.
I could spend the whole night staring at this.
Why don't I
leave you with a more lasting memory?
(Camera click)
Hm. On a scale of one to 10...
Whoa. Eleven.
Correct.
You can post that.
Do I want to know?
I couldn't get in to see Uomo of Rome
to do my highlights for my date, so I'm doing it myself.
And there we go.
(Sniffing) Do you smell toast?
Oh, I hope it's my roots and not a stroke!
Ladies, we got a delivery here.
- Oh, they must be for me. - Yeah, it's for, uh,
- Barbara Zeta Jones. - Who?
You're dating dad?
I'm not gonna lie. The attention is
very flattering. But he's way too old for this ride.
Have you read the card? I think he might be in love with you.
- What does it say? - "I'm in love with you."
Well! The Silver Fox wants to date other people.
So, that's that.
No. I'm still gonna go out on a date with him.
I'm not afraid of a little competition.
But what if she's a 10 or... Parts of her an 11?
Well, I'm not gonna worry. He already told me I'm a 12.
We've got to slow her down so I can break up with Anthony.
We don't have much time. Watch the door.
- I should be there for moral support. - I'll be fine.
For dad.
Hey. You don't love me.
I see why you would, but forget Barbara Zeta Jones.
You'll hate watching me go, but you'll love watching me leave.
Anthony.
Ceil. Well, hello.
(Ceil chuckling) Sandy?
Sandy? What Sandy? I thought you were Barbara.
Barbara?
You're the other woman? You're the seven?
You told her I was a seven?
Mom, I am not into this guy.
Mom? You told me your kids were dead!
Ah...
Ok, the truth is, mother, you're right. We're freaked out
that you're dating again. We just wanted to make sure
that the first guy you were with after daddy was ok.
So, you lied to me.
All this because you care about your mommy.
- I've never been prouder of you. - Really?
Yes. I would never have sex with some guy
I met on the interweb. I wouldn't either.
- I would. - I totally would.
Dad. (Jimmy laughing)
So? You want to split some wings before we take the boat out, or...?
So, this is where we meet clients.
It's not big-time Bay Street, but it's real life, and it makes a real
difference in people's lives. You are so right.
This is better. Why work at some anonymous place pushing papers
- when you can really make a difference? - Exactly.
And working with your family.
They are all so wonderful.
Well, thank you so much for the brownies,
sweetheart. You're just a pet! Like a young Jenna. She's awesome.
- The best. (Girl gasps.) - What's in here?
That's my office. Feel free to have a look around,
now that you'll be interning here once a week.
Great.
I have so many ideas about how we can better the lives
- of those living in North York. - (Ceil): Well, we can't wait to hear them.
(Happy exclamation) Oh, my lord, Jenna. You have
- got to get her out of here. - What?
Jenna, she had a five-minute conversation with me about seahorses.
How much nerd am I supposed to take?
If she works here, I'm gonna kill myself.
But I thought you guys said she was like a young me.
- Exactly. - Once was enough.
- We love you, but... - Just get her out.
Tracey?
- Oh, there she is. - (Ceil): Hi.
Ok, we have to talk.
sync and corrections by ovelheiro www.addic7ed.com