1
00:00:00,437 --> 00:00:03,690
No, of course, Rachel. I'd
love to come over tonight.
2
00:00:03,691 --> 00:00:05,939
As long as it's ok that I
bring another girl with me.
3
00:00:07,660 --> 00:00:08,949
Rachel?
4
00:00:10,086 --> 00:00:11,280
Rachel?
5
00:00:11,981 --> 00:00:14,293
Well, you've done it again!
6
00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:20,558
What, did I unleash the Kraken?
7
00:00:25,469 --> 00:00:26,707
No.
8
00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:28,151
I was getting ready for bed,
9
00:00:28,152 --> 00:00:30,912
and my water and power were shut off.
10
00:00:30,913 --> 00:00:33,359
You know you have to pay
your bills every month, right?
11
00:00:34,145 --> 00:00:35,807
Kind of part of being a grown-up.
12
00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:38,318
As is trusting your son,
13
00:00:38,319 --> 00:00:41,207
who promised to run your
bills down to the mailbox,
14
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,543
while you babysat his child.
15
00:00:43,889 --> 00:00:46,109
There's a mailbox near here? Where?
16
00:00:47,386 --> 00:00:49,912
And the worst part is I was one click away
17
00:00:49,913 --> 00:00:52,275
from getting tickets
to Bon Jovi this weekend
18
00:00:52,276 --> 00:00:53,904
at Madison Square Garden.
19
00:00:54,281 --> 00:00:56,859
All I heard was "I'm free
to babysit this weekend."
20
00:00:58,378 --> 00:01:00,585
You know what... I'm done.
21
00:01:00,921 --> 00:01:03,565
I am tired of being taken for granted.
22
00:01:03,566 --> 00:01:05,800
The next time you need a sitter, an alibi,
23
00:01:05,801 --> 00:01:08,104
or a kidney, you can call somebody else.
24
00:01:09,645 --> 00:01:12,418
Until I feel like I am being appreciated,
25
00:01:12,419 --> 00:01:14,411
you will not be seeing me again.
26
00:01:18,572 --> 00:01:20,029
Right after I use your shower,
27
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:21,669
your sink, and your toothbrush.
28
00:01:23,843 --> 00:01:33,672
Synced and corrected by Nantinha
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
29
00:01:34,373 --> 00:01:36,983
Ben has gotta fix this mom strike.
30
00:01:36,984 --> 00:01:38,268
It's been three days.
31
00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:39,652
Look at this.
32
00:01:40,337 --> 00:01:42,937
No match. No match.
33
00:01:42,938 --> 00:01:44,161
No match.
34
00:01:44,683 --> 00:01:47,626
My sock situation's a
complete disaster, man.
35
00:01:48,806 --> 00:01:51,322
Okay. I think Emma's finally ready.
36
00:01:54,237 --> 00:01:55,648
Is that my towel?
37
00:01:56,614 --> 00:01:58,951
Well, it was either that
or the shower curtain.
38
00:01:59,477 --> 00:02:01,040
And that affects all of us.
39
00:02:02,738 --> 00:02:05,685
Ben, you have to do
something about your mom.
40
00:02:05,686 --> 00:02:07,349
I know, I tried.
41
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:08,608
I apologized.
42
00:02:09,034 --> 00:02:11,419
I even promised her it
would never happen again.
43
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,530
But mom can always tell when I'm lying.
44
00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:16,307
Oh, my God. You guys
aren't going to believe it.
45
00:02:17,996 --> 00:02:19,346
I'm going to prom.
46
00:02:21,353 --> 00:02:22,873
Just so you know,
47
00:02:22,874 --> 00:02:25,967
dating a high-school guy
at your age is creepy.
48
00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:30,488
Also a little bit
desperate. But mostly creepy.
49
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,208
No.
50
00:02:32,209 --> 00:02:35,324
I'm on the alumni committee,
and they asked me to chaperone.
51
00:02:35,325 --> 00:02:37,966
And it is going to be awesome.
52
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:40,245
I always wanted to go to prom.
53
00:02:40,246 --> 00:02:42,044
No. No, you didn't.
54
00:02:42,045 --> 00:02:45,273
All you did was mock prom and anybody
who had anything to do with it.
55
00:02:45,274 --> 00:02:47,114
I didn't ask to be elected king.
56
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:49,910
The people demanded it.
57
00:02:51,144 --> 00:02:54,720
I'm sorry, but mocking was
one of my defense mechanisms.
58
00:02:54,721 --> 00:02:56,156
I thought it was eating.
59
00:02:57,983 --> 00:02:59,853
You know, some people just go
60
00:02:59,854 --> 00:03:02,283
and keep telling everyone
their date's in the bathroom.
61
00:03:04,687 --> 00:03:07,244
I'm just offering it as an option.
62
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,064
Well, lucky for me,
63
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,895
I still have my old prom dress.
64
00:03:11,896 --> 00:03:14,288
You know, the one I bought in
the hopes that a certain someone
65
00:03:14,289 --> 00:03:16,553
who had been ignoring me
all through high school
66
00:03:16,554 --> 00:03:18,085
would finally ask me.
67
00:03:22,399 --> 00:03:25,328
- I'm sorry, were you saying something?
- I was answering a text.
68
00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:29,983
So all I have to do now
is just have it taken in.
69
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:35,119
Oh, my God! Or you could
just use the leftovers
70
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,179
and make some play
clothes for the children.
71
00:03:40,561 --> 00:03:41,918
"Sound of Music"?
72
00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:45,085
Oh, come on, people. It's a classic.
73
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,076
Well, I'm glad you're going.
74
00:03:48,077 --> 00:03:50,273
Maybe I could take you this
time. You shouldn't go alone.
75
00:03:50,274 --> 00:03:52,130
Oh, no. I'm not.
76
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,381
Philip's taking me.
77
00:03:53,382 --> 00:03:55,087
He's actually flying in
early from his conference
78
00:03:55,088 --> 00:03:57,588
in Boston just so he can be my date.
79
00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:00,465
That's right, people.
80
00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:01,910
I have a boyfriend.
81
00:04:03,428 --> 00:04:05,123
And I'm going to prom.
82
00:04:09,446 --> 00:04:10,582
Oh, cool.
83
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,697
Bon Jovi added a second show at the Garden.
84
00:04:12,698 --> 00:04:14,545
Practice is canceled tomorrow.
85
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,771
Oh, my God, really?
86
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,229
That's how I can make
things right with mom.
87
00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:19,125
I can get her front row seats to Bon Jovi.
88
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,676
Good luck 'cause you're going
to have to camp out overnight
89
00:04:21,677 --> 00:04:22,919
to get those kinds of seats.
90
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,215
Oh, my God. I'm in.
91
00:04:26,825 --> 00:04:29,104
What are you talking about?
You don't even like bon Jovi.
92
00:04:29,105 --> 00:04:31,464
I know. I've just always
wanted to go camping.
93
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,245
Where do you think we can
get our hands on a tent?
94
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,132
This is the life, isn't it?
95
00:04:50,836 --> 00:04:52,941
You know, this must be how our ancestors
96
00:04:52,942 --> 00:04:54,796
waited in line for tickets.
97
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:57,790
Marshmallow?
98
00:04:59,388 --> 00:05:01,302
Oh, my God. Ben, are you okay?
99
00:05:02,038 --> 00:05:04,351
Are you kidding me?
100
00:05:04,746 --> 00:05:08,213
This is your "emergency 911"?
101
00:05:08,214 --> 00:05:10,011
What, you wanted me to
hold your place in line
102
00:05:10,012 --> 00:05:11,172
while you peed?
103
00:05:12,013 --> 00:05:14,142
I'm sorry, mom. I just wanted
to see the look on your face
104
00:05:14,143 --> 00:05:16,609
when I tell you I'm first
in line for your forgiveness.
105
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:19,068
A.K.A. Bon Jovi tickets.
106
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,848
Oh, my God. Ben, really?
107
00:05:20,849 --> 00:05:22,737
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm...
108
00:05:22,738 --> 00:05:24,719
I'm so touched. See?
109
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,372
This is what I'm talking about.
110
00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:29,459
Making our relationship a two-way street.
111
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:30,619
I'm glad you're happy.
112
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:32,164
But when you call this a relationship,
113
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,507
it makes me queasy.
114
00:05:34,027 --> 00:05:36,066
Oh, and Ben, when you get the seats,
115
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:37,980
I like to be a little off to the side.
116
00:05:37,981 --> 00:05:40,200
You know, so I get a good
view of those dimples.
117
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:41,948
And I'm not talking about the ones...
118
00:05:41,949 --> 00:05:43,677
I know what you're talking about.
119
00:05:57,692 --> 00:05:58,885
I'll take anything.
120
00:05:58,886 --> 00:06:00,407
Nosebleeds, ear bleeds...
121
00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:02,092
if I don't get tickets, I'll bleed.
122
00:06:03,717 --> 00:06:05,215
Oh, this is good.
123
00:06:05,216 --> 00:06:08,395
- You found seats?
- No, they changed the hold music.
124
00:06:11,468 --> 00:06:13,422
Tucker, man, what am I going to do?
125
00:06:13,423 --> 00:06:14,474
Hey, Benji.
126
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,346
I just talked to Janice
from the old neighborhood.
127
00:06:16,347 --> 00:06:19,123
And I told her that I had
two tickets to Bon Jovi.
128
00:06:19,124 --> 00:06:21,615
And that she can suck it,
129
00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:24,193
because I am bringing my favorite son.
130
00:06:26,893 --> 00:06:29,116
Whoa, mom, there's been a little hitch
131
00:06:29,117 --> 00:06:30,274
in our giddy-up.
132
00:06:30,275 --> 00:06:31,918
A what in
our who-dy-up?
133
00:06:31,919 --> 00:06:33,528
What Ben is trying to say
134
00:06:33,529 --> 00:06:35,593
is that the seats aren't in the first row.
135
00:06:35,594 --> 00:06:37,328
They're in the third.
136
00:06:37,329 --> 00:06:38,788
They are?
137
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,370
They are. I'm sorry.
138
00:06:40,371 --> 00:06:42,416
Oh! No, no. That's fine.
139
00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:44,246
Oh, my God, Benji!
140
00:06:44,247 --> 00:06:45,602
I am so excited!
141
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,613
Oh, I'm going to go
find my easy-lift shirts
142
00:06:48,614 --> 00:06:50,470
so I can flash Jon a special message...
143
00:06:50,471 --> 00:06:51,918
if you know what I mean.
144
00:06:52,507 --> 00:06:54,129
Again, I know.
145
00:06:55,768 --> 00:06:58,554
Tucker, you're a life-saver.
How did you get those tickets?
146
00:06:58,555 --> 00:06:59,770
Charisma.
147
00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:03,519
My aunt Charisma's a ticket scalper.
148
00:07:07,297 --> 00:07:10,083
Well, I've been stood up for prom.
149
00:07:10,726 --> 00:07:12,725
My life is officially over!
150
00:07:14,675 --> 00:07:16,455
There's a horrible storm in Boston
151
00:07:16,456 --> 00:07:18,438
and all of the planes have been grounded.
152
00:07:18,882 --> 00:07:20,428
Lamest boyfriend ever.
153
00:07:24,322 --> 00:07:26,253
Aww, but Cinder-Riley,
154
00:07:26,254 --> 00:07:28,128
you have to go to the ball.
155
00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:34,210
No, obviously,
156
00:07:34,211 --> 00:07:36,181
I am just not meant to go to prom.
157
00:07:38,222 --> 00:07:40,850
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
158
00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:45,778
Oh, my God. Danny.
159
00:07:46,726 --> 00:07:48,114
What are you doing?
160
00:07:48,115 --> 00:07:50,147
Well, Philip called, and
he wanted me to make sure
161
00:07:50,148 --> 00:07:51,452
that you were okay.
162
00:07:51,453 --> 00:07:52,989
I thought I could do better.
163
00:07:52,990 --> 00:07:54,316
Corsage?
164
00:07:55,952 --> 00:07:57,689
This is just about the sweetest thing
165
00:07:57,690 --> 00:07:59,685
anyone has ever done for me.
166
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:03,115
Philip is just the best boyfriend ever.
167
00:08:04,681 --> 00:08:07,238
Yeah, he's great. But we
should probably get moving.
168
00:08:07,239 --> 00:08:08,577
All right.
169
00:08:08,578 --> 00:08:10,566
Bye, Tucker. Don't wait up.
170
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,241
Oh, I won't. You know.
171
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,513
- Mostly because I have a date.
- With Emma.
172
00:08:14,514 --> 00:08:16,257
Oh, come on. She didn't have to know that.
173
00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:23,515
Hey, Ben. Hey, how are the seats?
174
00:08:23,516 --> 00:08:25,042
Oh, yeah. They're great.
175
00:08:25,043 --> 00:08:26,699
Except they're a little far from the stage.
176
00:08:27,746 --> 00:08:29,776
Those tickets were fakes, dude.
177
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,209
We've been arrested.
178
00:08:39,598 --> 00:08:40,827
Really, Ben?
179
00:08:40,828 --> 00:08:42,160
Fake tickets?
180
00:08:42,161 --> 00:08:43,557
We could go to jail.
181
00:08:43,897 --> 00:08:46,276
Mom, don't worry. I'll straighten
everything out with the guard.
182
00:08:46,706 --> 00:08:49,208
But just in case, you are wearing
that easy-lift shirt, right?
183
00:08:49,209 --> 00:08:50,487
Duh.
184
00:08:51,337 --> 00:08:53,895
Excuse me, officer.
There's been a huge mistake.
185
00:08:53,896 --> 00:08:56,218
What? Coming to a concert with fake tickets
186
00:08:56,219 --> 00:08:58,179
or coming to a concert with your mommy?
187
00:08:58,180 --> 00:08:59,723
Hey, hey... huh?
188
00:09:00,286 --> 00:09:02,318
Look, she's the biggest
Bon Jovi fan in the world.
189
00:09:02,319 --> 00:09:04,837
She once sat outside of
his house for three days.
190
00:09:04,838 --> 00:09:07,613
And that's only because she
couldn't scale a 15-foot wall.
191
00:09:08,122 --> 00:09:09,666
Wall? Please.
192
00:09:09,667 --> 00:09:10,954
It was an electric fence.
193
00:09:10,955 --> 00:09:12,704
And I still got a bald
spot in the back of my head.
194
00:09:13,930 --> 00:09:16,363
Sir, look at this face.
195
00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:18,637
That is the face of innocence.
196
00:09:19,102 --> 00:09:21,150
And the best mom in the world.
197
00:09:21,151 --> 00:09:23,740
And I know, behind the
cold steel of that badge,
198
00:09:23,741 --> 00:09:25,303
there's a heart in there somewhere.
199
00:09:25,658 --> 00:09:27,459
So please, I beg of you.
200
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,453
Punish me twice, and let this amazing,
201
00:09:29,876 --> 00:09:31,662
selfless woman go.
202
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,360
Hey, hey. I've got a mom too.
203
00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:37,512
And I'd do anything for her.
204
00:09:38,698 --> 00:09:40,400
Oh, you both can go.
205
00:09:40,401 --> 00:09:42,394
Really? Thank you!
206
00:09:42,395 --> 00:09:43,903
Oh, my God. I love you, huh?
207
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,387
Mm...
208
00:09:46,951 --> 00:09:49,250
Oh, where do you think you're going?
209
00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:50,662
Oh, no, no. It's okay.
210
00:09:50,663 --> 00:09:52,102
He's letting us go.
211
00:09:52,103 --> 00:09:54,501
And perhaps calling me later.
212
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,118
Well, it's going to be his one phone call.
213
00:09:58,119 --> 00:09:59,714
'Cause that bag of nuts is in here
214
00:09:59,715 --> 00:10:01,600
for impersonating an officer.
215
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,374
Riley, calm down. You look fine.
216
00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:15,629
I do not look fine.
217
00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,102
I do not look fine.
218
00:10:18,103 --> 00:10:19,928
I tore my dress on the limo,
219
00:10:19,929 --> 00:10:21,445
and I spilled wine all down the front.
220
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,920
And there are just, oh,
a dozen sparkly hairpins
221
00:10:23,921 --> 00:10:26,227
scattered all across
the New Jersey turnpike.
222
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,871
Well, I guess there's always
a chance of that happening
223
00:10:28,872 --> 00:10:31,478
when you stick your head out of
the sunroof at 70 Miles an hour
224
00:10:31,479 --> 00:10:34,097
and scream, "I'm going to prom, bitches!"
225
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:37,436
Perrin.
226
00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:39,672
Where have you been?
227
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,766
You look like one of
those after-prom pictures
228
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,749
we use to warn girls not to drink too much
229
00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:45,754
and give it up in the back of a limo.
230
00:10:47,074 --> 00:10:50,791
Oh, is that Danny Wheeler?
231
00:10:51,239 --> 00:10:52,927
Hello, vice principal Peters.
232
00:10:53,693 --> 00:10:55,734
Oh, please, Daniel. You are an adult now.
233
00:10:55,735 --> 00:10:57,591
You may call me Darlene.
234
00:10:58,989 --> 00:11:00,857
And now you're legal... oh!
235
00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:06,613
Okay, all right. Well, we're
just going to go into the dance
236
00:11:06,614 --> 00:11:08,228
and start chaperoning, okay?
237
00:11:08,229 --> 00:11:10,448
So see you under the disco ball, Darlene.
238
00:11:10,449 --> 00:11:12,758
Oh, no. You can hang up your dancing shoes.
239
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,467
You're on duty in the girls' bathroom
240
00:11:14,468 --> 00:11:16,506
- for the first hour.
- What?
241
00:11:16,507 --> 00:11:17,773
Why?
242
00:11:18,604 --> 00:11:20,114
What happens in there?
243
00:11:21,571 --> 00:11:23,617
Well, if you'd gone to prom the first time
244
00:11:23,618 --> 00:11:26,057
like a normal person, you'd know.
245
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,376
I kind of used to have a crush on her.
246
00:11:34,466 --> 00:11:36,936
Okay, so, I think I'm going to go with...
247
00:11:36,937 --> 00:11:38,950
things couldn't get any worse, all right?
248
00:11:38,951 --> 00:11:40,775
So I'm just going to go into the bathroom
249
00:11:40,776 --> 00:11:42,369
and serve my sentence.
250
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:45,167
And then we will hit the dance floor.
251
00:11:48,348 --> 00:11:50,411
Right after we bail your mom
252
00:11:50,412 --> 00:11:53,109
and Ben out of Bon Jovi jail.
253
00:11:58,287 --> 00:11:59,962
Thank you for coming to my rescue.
254
00:11:59,963 --> 00:12:01,530
You were amazing in there.
255
00:12:01,531 --> 00:12:03,135
Yeah, well, three years of law school...
256
00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:04,641
I was talking to Danny.
257
00:12:05,315 --> 00:12:06,639
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, mom.
258
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,867
You've lost the right to
ever call me that again.
259
00:12:08,868 --> 00:12:10,519
No. You are not going to
believe what I just did.
260
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,090
Whatever it is, undo it.
261
00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:13,642
I do work here, you know.
262
00:12:13,643 --> 00:12:15,959
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we gotta get back to prom.
263
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,573
Oh, no, Danny. I don't think so.
264
00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:19,418
I'm kind of over it.
265
00:12:19,419 --> 00:12:22,418
Yeah. I was wondering why you
didn't make more of an effort.
266
00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:26,745
We have to go back. You've wanted
this night your entire life.
267
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,692
Plus, it's been like an hour
since you spilled on yourself,
268
00:12:29,693 --> 00:12:31,924
and your hair is starting to settle.
269
00:12:33,227 --> 00:12:35,605
I mean, we do have the limo until midnight.
270
00:12:36,396 --> 00:12:38,809
Okay. Okay, okay. Let's go.
271
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,132
Okay, now will you listen to me?
272
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,500
No, I just added that to my list of things
273
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,871
never to do again. Sorry!
274
00:12:46,361 --> 00:12:47,480
There you guys are.
275
00:12:47,481 --> 00:12:50,633
Do you have any idea how
many 40-something fake blondes
276
00:12:50,634 --> 00:12:53,717
wearing age-inappropriate
clothing are running around here?
277
00:12:53,718 --> 00:12:55,798
God, it's a cougar-con.
278
00:12:56,418 --> 00:12:57,665
Tucker, what the hell?
279
00:12:57,666 --> 00:12:59,282
Why are you out in the middle
of the night with my baby?
280
00:12:59,283 --> 00:13:02,147
Because Emma and I just scored your mom
281
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,931
the last available ticket to Bon Jovi.
282
00:13:05,444 --> 00:13:07,515
Yeah, it's in the balcony,
283
00:13:07,826 --> 00:13:09,636
and behind a pillar, and
the show's almost over...
284
00:13:09,637 --> 00:13:11,617
but, look, I just wanted you to know
285
00:13:11,618 --> 00:13:14,114
how truly sorry I am
about the fake tickets.
286
00:13:14,469 --> 00:13:16,238
See?
287
00:13:16,239 --> 00:13:18,925
Now, that is how you apologize.
288
00:13:18,926 --> 00:13:20,182
Thank you, Tucker.
289
00:13:20,183 --> 00:13:21,920
Yes, thank you, Tucker.
290
00:13:21,921 --> 00:13:23,414
For nothing.
291
00:13:23,415 --> 00:13:25,939
Because my mom will be
backstage meeting Bon Jovi
292
00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:28,120
with her all-access pass.
293
00:13:28,121 --> 00:13:29,856
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
294
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,128
Oh, my God! Where did you get these?!
295
00:13:42,129 --> 00:13:43,953
I swiped them off the
security captain's desk.
296
00:13:43,954 --> 00:13:46,041
And I know it's illegal, but dare I say...
297
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,912
I was "Living on a Prayer."
298
00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:49,526
Oh, Benjamin Wheeler,
you are the most devious
299
00:13:49,527 --> 00:13:51,441
little criminal that a
mother could ever love.
300
00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:53,653
See ya, Tucket-master.
301
00:13:53,654 --> 00:13:54,958
Yeah!
302
00:13:55,499 --> 00:13:57,253
Oh, yeah!
303
00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:04,460
What happened to those
fake backstage passes
304
00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:05,816
we confiscated?
305
00:14:08,316 --> 00:14:09,382
Well, Emma,
306
00:14:09,739 --> 00:14:11,524
I would hate to think I hauled your ass
307
00:14:11,525 --> 00:14:15,065
out of your crib for nothing. I know. So...
308
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:18,793
What do you say we use this ticket
309
00:14:18,794 --> 00:14:21,961
and take you to see your first concert?
310
00:14:23,249 --> 00:14:25,153
I know! Here you go.
311
00:14:27,894 --> 00:14:29,235
What? No...
312
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,986
that was a fake too?
313
00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:33,211
God! It's getting so you can't trust people
314
00:14:33,212 --> 00:14:36,103
selling stuff out of their
cars in a dark alley anymore.
315
00:14:37,113 --> 00:14:39,478
Section 342, seat 88.
316
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,871
It's your lucky day.
317
00:14:40,872 --> 00:14:43,848
You just won a backstage pass for
a meet-and-greet with Jon Bon Jovi
318
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:47,086
because we put the "fan" in "fantastic."
319
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,328
Oh, my God! This is so great!
320
00:14:49,661 --> 00:14:51,876
Wait, wait, wait... just so we're clear,
321
00:14:52,306 --> 00:14:55,577
is Bon Jovi a guy or a band?
322
00:14:57,254 --> 00:14:58,318
I don't know either.
323
00:15:00,916 --> 00:15:03,357
Hello, Jon Bon Jovi fan club members.
324
00:15:03,358 --> 00:15:05,955
It is me, your president.
325
00:15:05,956 --> 00:15:08,046
And, in just a few moments,
326
00:15:08,352 --> 00:15:11,836
I will be meeting the man himself.
327
00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:14,193
I'm going to have him autograph here,
328
00:15:14,194 --> 00:15:16,629
here, and a mystery body part
329
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:19,471
to be named later... My boobs.
330
00:15:20,346 --> 00:15:21,415
Hey, I'm Ben.
331
00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:23,500
- And I like to party.
- Yeah, nobody cares. Nobody cares.
332
00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:26,401
Okay, not everyone can get back here.
333
00:15:26,402 --> 00:15:29,159
It is very exclusive.
334
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,175
Oh, hey, what's up, Mrs. Wheeler?
335
00:15:31,176 --> 00:15:33,051
Tucker, what are you doing here?
336
00:15:33,052 --> 00:15:34,617
Oh, that ticket nobody wanted
337
00:15:34,618 --> 00:15:37,140
got us a backstage pass too.
338
00:15:38,964 --> 00:15:41,699
Oh... except mine doesn't say
339
00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:44,384
"Madison Square Jarden."
340
00:15:46,210 --> 00:15:47,735
Okay, people...
341
00:15:47,736 --> 00:15:50,625
Mr. Bon Jovi will be here any minute.
342
00:15:50,626 --> 00:15:52,616
We've got some counterfeits out there.
343
00:15:52,617 --> 00:15:55,041
So I'll be double-checking
everyone's passes
344
00:15:55,042 --> 00:15:57,186
and throwing out a few asses.
345
00:16:00,906 --> 00:16:03,633
Yes! We made it.
346
00:16:03,634 --> 00:16:04,974
That limo really flew.
347
00:16:04,975 --> 00:16:06,727
So much better with me driving, right?
348
00:16:06,728 --> 00:16:09,295
- Yeah.
- Wait, door's closing? No, no, no!
349
00:16:09,296 --> 00:16:10,917
No, no, no, no! Door's closing?
350
00:16:10,918 --> 00:16:13,116
Oh, my God... I've been waiting seven years
351
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:14,605
to wear this dress!
352
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,956
Wait, it can't be over.
353
00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:19,705
We'll get the band to
play a few more songs.
354
00:16:24,009 --> 00:16:26,087
Well, we'll at least get our picture taken
355
00:16:26,088 --> 00:16:27,510
by the balloon arch.
356
00:16:31,414 --> 00:16:35,255
Danny, I so appreciate what
you're trying to do here.
357
00:16:35,256 --> 00:16:38,676
But it's over. Just let it go.
358
00:16:38,677 --> 00:16:40,697
Okay. Well, we'll start
planning for next year.
359
00:16:40,698 --> 00:16:41,989
Come on.
360
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:43,568
I thought this was a dream of yours.
361
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,949
Well, some dreams don't come true.
362
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,705
You know, and that's fine.
363
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,971
I mean, it was silly anyway.
364
00:16:49,972 --> 00:16:53,067
I thought if I could just dance
under that giant disco ball
365
00:16:53,068 --> 00:16:56,669
to my favorite song, I could
erase who I was back then.
366
00:16:57,180 --> 00:17:00,548
You know, the girl that
nobody wanted to take to prom.
367
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,600
It's fine.
368
00:17:02,953 --> 00:17:04,905
I think it's time that I just moved on.
369
00:17:06,565 --> 00:17:08,117
Just give my mom the pass.
370
00:17:08,873 --> 00:17:10,163
No, I'm good.
371
00:17:10,164 --> 00:17:11,213
Tucker!
372
00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:14,558
Look at that face. That
is the biggest Bon Jovi fan
373
00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:16,421
and the best mom in the world.
374
00:17:16,422 --> 00:17:19,356
And I know, behind the cold
plastic of that backstage pass,
375
00:17:19,357 --> 00:17:21,056
there's a heart in there somewhere.
376
00:17:21,057 --> 00:17:22,834
So please, I beg of you,
377
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:26,626
let this amazing, selfless
woman see Bon Jovi.
378
00:17:27,912 --> 00:17:29,407
That sounds rehearsed.
379
00:17:29,408 --> 00:17:30,556
Yeah.
380
00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:32,954
I will babysit for the next month.
381
00:17:33,341 --> 00:17:34,910
She's your baby.
382
00:17:39,502 --> 00:17:42,292
Fine. Here's the pass.
383
00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:44,163
Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you,
384
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,025
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!
385
00:17:46,026 --> 00:17:49,255
You know I do think of you
as a second mom, so come here.
386
00:17:49,256 --> 00:17:51,568
Oh, Ben, you really are the best son ever.
387
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:53,955
And I really do love you, mom.
388
00:17:54,325 --> 00:17:55,936
Now do what you gotta do.
389
00:17:55,937 --> 00:17:57,053
Okay.
390
00:17:57,435 --> 00:17:59,601
These two hoodlums have fake passes.
391
00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:01,403
Take these two out.
392
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:03,888
Aw, come on.
393
00:18:03,889 --> 00:18:06,314
Wait... come on. Can I at
least get a couple shrimp?
394
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,031
All right, everyone, listen up.
395
00:18:10,584 --> 00:18:13,763
Mr. Bon Jovi will be here any minute.
396
00:18:13,764 --> 00:18:15,310
Yeah!
397
00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:18,972
Sorry.
398
00:18:20,528 --> 00:18:22,701
He's just catching a quick shower.
399
00:18:23,681 --> 00:18:25,711
So you're saying he's naked?
400
00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:28,191
Alone?
401
00:18:28,905 --> 00:18:30,891
In his dressing room?
402
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:31,991
Yeah.
403
00:18:31,992 --> 00:18:33,469
But it didn't sound quite so dirty
404
00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:35,152
when it came out of my mouth.
405
00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:37,885
You know what... I'm just going to duck out
406
00:18:37,886 --> 00:18:39,452
for like two seconds.
407
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,062
Mr. Bon Jo...
408
00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:10,547
No.
409
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:12,737
No no no no no!
410
00:19:12,738 --> 00:19:14,181
Oh, Jon!
411
00:19:14,182 --> 00:19:15,900
Jon! Jon!
412
00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:17,733
Hey! Over here.
413
00:19:17,734 --> 00:19:20,705
It's me. Bonnie Wheeler.
414
00:19:20,706 --> 00:19:24,082
I'm the one who
short-circuited your fence.
415
00:19:28,904 --> 00:19:30,933
Is everything okay? Is
something wrong with Emma?
416
00:19:30,934 --> 00:19:32,679
No. She's fine.
417
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,104
It's you I was worried about.
418
00:19:34,105 --> 00:19:36,095
Oh, Danny. I'm fine.
419
00:19:37,346 --> 00:19:39,249
Why are you still in your tux?
420
00:19:40,332 --> 00:19:43,090
Because I don't believe
in giving up on dreams.
421
00:19:47,081 --> 00:19:48,912
Oh, my God. Danny.
422
00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:50,601
This is so sweet, but...
423
00:19:50,602 --> 00:19:52,013
I'm not finished.
424
00:19:58,897 --> 00:20:00,559
I don't know what to say.
425
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,609
Say you'll dance with me.
426
00:20:02,610 --> 00:20:05,412
Wait, I almost forgot
the most important part.
427
00:20:11,197 --> 00:20:13,901
That is not the most important part.
428
00:20:16,397 --> 00:20:19,146
You always being there for me is.
429
00:20:20,690 --> 00:20:25,636
* I'll run with you forever *
430
00:20:25,637 --> 00:20:28,477
you really are the best friend
a girl could ever ask for.
431
00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:34,369
* As long a race as we have... *
432
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:43,515
Honestly, Jon was just as charming
433
00:20:43,516 --> 00:20:46,404
and good-looking... and,
dare I say, handsy...
434
00:20:47,351 --> 00:20:49,401
as I ever imagined him to be.
435
00:20:49,402 --> 00:20:51,088
I'm just so gosh-darn disappointed
436
00:20:51,089 --> 00:20:52,442
he wouldn't pose for pictures.
437
00:20:52,930 --> 00:20:55,049
Really? No pictures? I got a ton.
438
00:20:55,050 --> 00:20:56,330
- What?
- Yeah, yeah.
439
00:20:56,331 --> 00:20:58,443
As we were being kicked out,
we ran into Jon in the hallway.
440
00:20:58,444 --> 00:20:59,521
He thought Emma was so cute.
441
00:20:59,522 --> 00:21:01,163
He wanted to take a photo
with his youngest fan. Here.
442
00:21:01,505 --> 00:21:03,596
He kissed Emma on the cheek?
443
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,076
Oh, my God. That means if I kiss her,
444
00:21:06,077 --> 00:21:07,893
I'm actually kissing him.
445
00:21:07,894 --> 00:21:09,020
Where is that baby?
446
00:21:09,021 --> 00:21:10,610
I will never go on strike again!
447
00:21:10,611 --> 00:21:11,809
Emma!
448
00:21:14,395 --> 00:21:15,952
God, I love Photoshop.