1
00:00:06,437 --> 00:00:09,690
(Laughs) No, of course, Rachel.
I'd love to come over tonight.

2
00:00:09,691 --> 00:00:11,939
As long as it's ok that I
bring another girl with me.

3
00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:14,949
Rachel?

4
00:00:16,086 --> 00:00:17,280
Rachel?

5
00:00:17,981 --> 00:00:20,293
Well, you've done it again!

6
00:00:24,730 --> 00:00:26,558
What, did I unleash the Kraken?

7
00:00:31,469 --> 00:00:32,707
No.

8
00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:34,151
I was getting ready for bed,

9
00:00:34,152 --> 00:00:36,912
and my water and power were shut off.

10
00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:39,359
You know you have to pay
your bills every month, right?

11
00:00:40,145 --> 00:00:41,807
Kind of part of being a grown-up.

12
00:00:42,550 --> 00:00:44,318
As is trusting your son,

13
00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:47,207
who promised to run your
bills down to the mailbox,

14
00:00:47,208 --> 00:00:49,543
while you babysat his child.

15
00:00:49,889 --> 00:00:52,109
There's a mailbox near here? Where?

16
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,912
And the worst part is I was one click away

17
00:00:55,913 --> 00:00:58,275
from getting tickets
to Bon Jovi this weekend

18
00:00:58,276 --> 00:00:59,904
at Madison Square Garden.

19
00:01:00,281 --> 00:01:02,859
All I heard was "I'm free
to babysit this weekend."

20
00:01:04,378 --> 00:01:06,585
You know what... I'm done.

21
00:01:06,921 --> 00:01:09,565
I am tired of being taken for granted.

22
00:01:09,566 --> 00:01:11,800
The next time you need a sitter, an alibi,

23
00:01:11,801 --> 00:01:14,104
or a kidney, you can call somebody else.

24
00:01:15,645 --> 00:01:18,418
Until I feel like I am being appreciated,

25
00:01:18,419 --> 00:01:20,411
you will not be seeing me again.

26
00:01:24,572 --> 00:01:26,029
Right after I use your shower,

27
00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,669
your sink, and your toothbrush.

28
00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,842
<i>(Theme music playing)</i>

29
00:01:29,843 --> 00:01:33,101
<i>* It's amazing how the unexpected *</i>

30
00:01:33,102 --> 00:01:36,154
<i>* can take your life
and change direction. *</i>

31
00:01:36,155 --> 00:01:40,372
Created by Nantinha. Resynced by Katniss.
~ www.addic7ed.com ~

32
00:01:40,373 --> 00:01:42,983
(sighs) Ben has gotta fix this mom strike.

33
00:01:42,984 --> 00:01:44,268
It's been three days.

34
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:45,652
Look at this.

35
00:01:46,337 --> 00:01:48,937
No match. No match.

36
00:01:48,938 --> 00:01:50,161
No match.

37
00:01:50,683 --> 00:01:53,626
My sock situation's a
complete disaster, man.

38
00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:57,322
Okay. I think Emma's finally ready.

39
00:02:00,237 --> 00:02:01,648
Is that my towel?

40
00:02:02,614 --> 00:02:04,951
Well, it was either that
or the shower curtain.

41
00:02:05,477 --> 00:02:07,040
And that affects all of us.

42
00:02:08,738 --> 00:02:11,685
Ben, you have to do
something about your mom.

43
00:02:11,686 --> 00:02:13,349
I know, I tried.

44
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,608
I apologized.

45
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:17,419
I even promised her it
would never happen again.

46
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:19,530
But mom can always tell when I'm lying.

47
00:02:20,533 --> 00:02:22,307
Oh, my God. You guys
aren't going to believe it.

48
00:02:23,996 --> 00:02:25,346
I'm going to prom.

49
00:02:27,353 --> 00:02:28,873
Just so you know,

50
00:02:28,874 --> 00:02:31,967
dating a high-school guy
at your age is creepy.

51
00:02:33,318 --> 00:02:36,488
Also a little bit desperate.
But mostly creepy.

52
00:02:37,318 --> 00:02:38,208
No.

53
00:02:38,209 --> 00:02:41,324
I'm on the alumni committee,
and they asked me to chaperone.

54
00:02:41,325 --> 00:02:43,966
And it is going to be awesome.

55
00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:46,245
I always wanted to go to prom.

56
00:02:46,246 --> 00:02:48,044
No. No, you didn't.

57
00:02:48,045 --> 00:02:51,273
All you did was mock prom
and anybody who had anything to do with it.

58
00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:53,114
I didn't ask to be elected king.

59
00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:55,910
The people demanded it.

60
00:02:57,144 --> 00:03:00,720
I'm sorry, but mocking was
one of my defense mechanisms.

61
00:03:00,721 --> 00:03:02,156
I thought it was eating.

62
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,853
You know, some people just go

63
00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:08,283
and keep telling everyone
their date's in the bathroom.

64
00:03:10,687 --> 00:03:13,244
I'm just offering it as an option.

65
00:03:14,389 --> 00:03:16,064
Well, lucky for me,

66
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:17,895
I still have my old prom dress.

67
00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:20,288
You know, the one I bought in
the hopes that a certain someone

68
00:03:20,289 --> 00:03:22,553
who had been ignoring me
all through high school

69
00:03:22,554 --> 00:03:24,085
would finally ask me.

70
00:03:28,399 --> 00:03:31,328
I'm sorry, were you saying something?
I was answering a text. (Mutters)

71
00:03:33,023 --> 00:03:35,983
So all I have to do now
is just have it taken in.

72
00:03:37,746 --> 00:03:39,059
(Laughing)

73
00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:41,119
Oh, my God! Or you could
just use the leftovers

74
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,179
and make some play
clothes for the children. (Laughs)

75
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:47,918
"Sound of Music"?

76
00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:51,085
Oh, come on, people. It's a classic.

77
00:03:52,394 --> 00:03:54,076
Well, I'm glad you're going.

78
00:03:54,077 --> 00:03:56,273
Maybe I could take you this
time. You shouldn't go alone.

79
00:03:56,274 --> 00:03:58,130
Oh, no. I'm not.

80
00:03:58,131 --> 00:03:59,381
Philip's taking me.

81
00:03:59,382 --> 00:04:01,087
He's actually flying in
early from his conference

82
00:04:01,088 --> 00:04:03,588
in Boston just so he can be my date.

83
00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:06,465
That's right, people.

84
00:04:06,466 --> 00:04:07,910
I have a boyfriend.

85
00:04:09,428 --> 00:04:11,123
And I'm going to prom.

86
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:14,936
<i>(Phone vibrates)</i>

87
00:04:15,446 --> 00:04:16,582
Oh, cool.

88
00:04:16,583 --> 00:04:18,697
Bon Jovi added a second show at the Garden.

89
00:04:18,698 --> 00:04:20,545
Practice is canceled tomorrow.

90
00:04:20,546 --> 00:04:21,771
Oh, my God, really?

91
00:04:21,772 --> 00:04:23,229
That's how I can make
things right with mom.

92
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,125
I can get her front row seats to Bon Jovi.

93
00:04:25,126 --> 00:04:27,676
Good luck 'cause you're going
to have to camp out overnight

94
00:04:27,677 --> 00:04:28,919
to get those kinds of seats.

95
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,215
Oh, my God. I'm in.

96
00:04:32,825 --> 00:04:35,104
What are you talking about?
You don't even like bon Jovi.

97
00:04:35,105 --> 00:04:37,464
I know. I've just always
wanted to go camping.

98
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:44,245
Where do you think
we can get our hands on a tent?

99
00:04:54,592 --> 00:04:56,132
This is the life, isn't it?

100
00:04:56,836 --> 00:04:58,941
You know, this must be how our ancestors

101
00:04:58,942 --> 00:05:00,796
waited in line for tickets.

102
00:05:02,396 --> 00:05:03,790
Marshmallow?

103
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,302
Oh, my God. Ben, are you okay?

104
00:05:08,038 --> 00:05:10,351
(Scoffs) Are you kidding me?

105
00:05:10,746 --> 00:05:14,213
This is your "emergency 911"?

106
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,011
What, you wanted me to
hold your place in line

107
00:05:16,012 --> 00:05:17,172
while you peed?

108
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,142
I'm sorry, mom. I just wanted
to see the look on your face

109
00:05:20,143 --> 00:05:22,609
when I tell you I'm first
in line for your forgiveness.

110
00:05:22,610 --> 00:05:25,068
A.K.A. Bon Jovi tickets.

111
00:05:25,069 --> 00:05:26,848
Oh, my God. Ben, really?

112
00:05:26,849 --> 00:05:28,737
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm...

113
00:05:28,738 --> 00:05:30,719
I'm so touched. See?

114
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,372
This is what I'm talking about.

115
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:35,459
Making our relationship a two-way street.

116
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,619
I'm glad you're happy.

117
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,164
But when you call this a relationship,

118
00:05:38,165 --> 00:05:39,507
it makes me queasy.

119
00:05:40,027 --> 00:05:42,066
Oh, and Ben, when you get the seats,

120
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:43,980
I like to be a little off to the side.

121
00:05:43,981 --> 00:05:46,200
You know, so I get a good
view of those dimples.

122
00:05:46,201 --> 00:05:47,948
And I'm not talking about the ones...

123
00:05:47,949 --> 00:05:49,677
I know what you're talking about.

124
00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:56,028
(Snoring)

125
00:06:03,692 --> 00:06:04,885
<i>Ben:  I'll take anything.</i>

126
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,407
Nosebleeds, ear bleeds...

127
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,092
if I don't get tickets, I'll bleed.

128
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,215
Oh, this is good.

129
00:06:11,216 --> 00:06:14,395
- You found seats?
- No, they changed the hold music.

130
00:06:17,468 --> 00:06:19,422
Tucker, man, what am I going to do?

131
00:06:19,423 --> 00:06:20,474
Hey, Benji.

132
00:06:20,475 --> 00:06:22,346
I just talked to Janice
from the old neighborhood.

133
00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:25,123
And I told her that I had
two tickets to Bon Jovi.

134
00:06:25,124 --> 00:06:27,615
And that she can suck it,

135
00:06:27,616 --> 00:06:30,193
because I am bringing my favorite son.

136
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,116
Whoa, mom, there's been a little hitch

137
00:06:35,117 --> 00:06:36,274
in our giddy-up.

138
00:06:36,275 --> 00:06:37,918
A what in
our who-dy-up?

139
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,528
What Ben is trying to say

140
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:41,593
is that the seats aren't in the first row.

141
00:06:41,594 --> 00:06:43,328
They're in the third.

142
00:06:43,329 --> 00:06:44,788
They are?

143
00:06:44,789 --> 00:06:46,370
They are. I'm sorry.

144
00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:48,416
Oh! No, no. That's fine.

145
00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,246
(Gasps) Oh, my God, Benji!

146
00:06:50,247 --> 00:06:51,602
I am so excited!

147
00:06:52,407 --> 00:06:54,613
Oh, I'm going to go
find my easy-lift shirts

148
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,470
so I can flash Jon a special message...

149
00:06:56,471 --> 00:06:57,918
if you know what I mean.

150
00:06:58,507 --> 00:07:00,129
Again, I know.

151
00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:01,198
<i>(Chuckles)</i>

152
00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:04,554
Tucker, you're a life-saver.
How did you get those tickets?

153
00:07:04,555 --> 00:07:05,770
Charisma.

154
00:07:07,297 --> 00:07:09,519
My aunt Charisma's a ticket scalper.

155
00:07:13,297 --> 00:07:16,083
Well, I've been stood up for prom.

156
00:07:16,726 --> 00:07:18,725
My life is officially over!

157
00:07:20,675 --> 00:07:22,455
There's a horrible storm in Boston

158
00:07:22,456 --> 00:07:24,438
and all of the planes have been grounded.

159
00:07:24,882 --> 00:07:26,428
Lamest boyfriend ever.

160
00:07:30,322 --> 00:07:32,253
Aww, but Cinder-Riley,

161
00:07:32,254 --> 00:07:34,128
you have to go to the ball.

162
00:07:39,005 --> 00:07:40,210
No, obviously,

163
00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:42,181
I am just not meant to go to prom.

164
00:07:44,222 --> 00:07:46,850
I wouldn't be so sure about that.

165
00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:51,778
Oh, my God. Danny.

166
00:07:52,726 --> 00:07:54,114
What are you doing?

167
00:07:54,115 --> 00:07:56,147
Well, Philip called, and
he wanted me to make sure

168
00:07:56,148 --> 00:07:57,452
that you were okay.

169
00:07:57,453 --> 00:07:58,989
I thought I could do better.

170
00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:00,316
Corsage?

171
00:08:01,952 --> 00:08:03,689
This is just about the sweetest thing

172
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,685
anyone has ever done for me.

173
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:09,115
Philip is just the best boyfriend ever.

174
00:08:10,681 --> 00:08:13,238
Yeah, he's great. But we
should probably get moving.

175
00:08:13,239 --> 00:08:14,577
All right.

176
00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,566
Bye, Tucker. Don't wait up.

177
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:18,241
Oh, I won't. You know.

178
00:08:18,242 --> 00:08:20,513
- Mostly because I have a date.
- With Emma.

179
00:08:20,514 --> 00:08:22,257
Oh, come on. She didn't have to know that.

180
00:08:24,109 --> 00:08:25,596
<i>(Phone rings)</i>

181
00:08:26,457 --> 00:08:27,419
<i>(Beeps)</i>

182
00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:29,515
Hey, Ben. Hey, how are the seats?

183
00:08:29,516 --> 00:08:31,042
Oh, yeah. They're great.

184
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:32,699
Except they're a little far from the stage.

185
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,776
Those tickets were fakes, dude.

186
00:08:35,777 --> 00:08:37,209
We've been arrested.

187
00:08:45,898 --> 00:08:47,127
Really, Ben?

188
00:08:47,128 --> 00:08:48,460
Fake tickets?

189
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:49,857
We could go to jail.

190
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,576
Mom, don't worry. I'll straighten
everything out with the guard.

191
00:08:53,006 --> 00:08:55,508
But just in case, you are
wearing that easy-lift shirt, right?

192
00:08:55,509 --> 00:08:56,787
Duh.

193
00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:00,195
Excuse me, officer.
There's been a huge mistake.

194
00:09:00,196 --> 00:09:02,518
What? Coming to a concert with fake tickets

195
00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:04,479
or coming to a concert with your mommy?

196
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,023
Hey, hey... huh?

197
00:09:06,586 --> 00:09:08,618
Look, she's the biggest
Bon Jovi fan in the world.

198
00:09:08,619 --> 00:09:11,137
She once sat outside of
his house for three days.

199
00:09:11,138 --> 00:09:13,913
And that's only because she
couldn't scale a 15-foot wall.

200
00:09:14,422 --> 00:09:15,966
Wall? Please.

201
00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,254
It was an electric fence.

202
00:09:17,255 --> 00:09:19,004
And I still got a bald
spot in the back of my head.

203
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:22,663
Sir, look at this face.

204
00:09:23,441 --> 00:09:24,937
That is the face of innocence.

205
00:09:25,402 --> 00:09:27,450
And the best mom in the world.

206
00:09:27,451 --> 00:09:30,040
And I know, behind the
cold steel of that badge,

207
00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:31,603
there's a heart in there somewhere.

208
00:09:31,958 --> 00:09:33,759
So please, I beg of you.

209
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,753
Punish me twice, and let this amazing,

210
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,962
selfless woman go.

211
00:09:39,832 --> 00:09:41,660
Hey, hey. I've got a mom too.

212
00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:43,812
And I'd do anything for her.

213
00:09:44,998 --> 00:09:46,700
Oh, you both can go.

214
00:09:46,701 --> 00:09:48,694
- (Exclaims)
- Really? Thank you!

215
00:09:48,695 --> 00:09:50,203
Oh, my God. I love you, huh?

216
00:09:50,709 --> 00:09:51,687
Mm...

217
00:09:53,251 --> 00:09:55,550
Oh, where do you think you're going?

218
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:56,962
Oh, no, no. It's okay.

219
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,402
He's letting us go.

220
00:09:58,403 --> 00:10:00,801
And perhaps calling me later.

221
00:10:01,895 --> 00:10:04,418
Well, it's going to be his one phone call.

222
00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:06,014
'Cause that bag of nuts is in here

223
00:10:06,015 --> 00:10:07,900
for impersonating an officer.

224
00:10:13,789 --> 00:10:15,461
<i>(Distant dance music plays)</i>

225
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:20,674
Riley, calm down. You look fine.

226
00:10:20,675 --> 00:10:21,929
I do not look fine.

227
00:10:22,876 --> 00:10:24,402
I do not look fine.

228
00:10:24,403 --> 00:10:26,228
I tore my dress on the limo,

229
00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:27,745
and I spilled wine all down the front.

230
00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:30,220
And there are just, oh,
a dozen sparkly hairpins

231
00:10:30,221 --> 00:10:32,527
scattered all across
the New Jersey turnpike.

232
00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:35,171
Well, I guess there's always
a chance of that happening

233
00:10:35,172 --> 00:10:37,778
when you stick your head out of
the sunroof at 70 Miles an hour

234
00:10:37,779 --> 00:10:40,397
and scream, "I'm going to prom, bitches!"

235
00:10:42,239 --> 00:10:43,736
Perrin.

236
00:10:44,328 --> 00:10:45,972
Where have you been?

237
00:10:45,973 --> 00:10:48,066
You look like one of
those after-prom pictures

238
00:10:48,067 --> 00:10:50,049
we use to warn girls not to drink too much

239
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,054
and give it up in the back of a limo.

240
00:10:53,374 --> 00:10:57,091
Oh, is that Danny Wheeler? (Laughs)

241
00:10:57,539 --> 00:10:59,227
Hello, vice principal Peters.

242
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,034
Oh, please, Daniel. You are an adult now.

243
00:11:02,035 --> 00:11:03,891
You may call me Darlene.

244
00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,157
And now you're legal... oh!

245
00:11:07,158 --> 00:11:08,816
(Laughing)

246
00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:12,913
Okay, all right. Well, we're
just going to go into the dance

247
00:11:12,914 --> 00:11:14,528
and start chaperoning, okay?

248
00:11:14,529 --> 00:11:16,748
So see you under the disco ball, Darlene.

249
00:11:16,749 --> 00:11:19,058
Oh, no. You can hang up your dancing shoes.

250
00:11:19,059 --> 00:11:20,767
You're on duty in the girls' bathroom

251
00:11:20,768 --> 00:11:22,806
- for the first hour.
- What?

252
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,073
Why?

253
00:11:24,904 --> 00:11:26,414
What happens in there?

254
00:11:27,871 --> 00:11:29,917
Well, if you'd gone to prom the first time

255
00:11:29,918 --> 00:11:32,357
like a normal person, you'd know.

256
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:37,990
(Laughs)

257
00:11:37,991 --> 00:11:39,676
I kind of used to have a crush on her.

258
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,236
Okay, so, I think I'm going to go with...

259
00:11:43,237 --> 00:11:45,250
things couldn't get any worse, all right?

260
00:11:45,251 --> 00:11:47,075
So I'm just going to go into the bathroom

261
00:11:47,076 --> 00:11:48,669
and serve my sentence.

262
00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:51,467
And then we will hit the dance floor.

263
00:11:51,468 --> 00:11:53,240
<i>(Phones vibrate)</i>

264
00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:56,711
Right after we bail your mom

265
00:11:56,712 --> 00:11:59,409
and Ben out of Bon Jovi jail.

266
00:12:04,587 --> 00:12:06,262
Thank you for coming to my rescue.

267
00:12:06,263 --> 00:12:07,830
You were amazing in there.

268
00:12:07,831 --> 00:12:09,435
Yeah, well, three years of law school...

269
00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:10,941
I was talking to Danny.

270
00:12:11,615 --> 00:12:12,939
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, mom.

271
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:15,167
You've lost the right to
ever call me that again.

272
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,819
No. You are not going to
believe what I just did.

273
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,390
Whatever it is, undo it.

274
00:12:18,391 --> 00:12:19,942
I do work here, you know.

275
00:12:19,943 --> 00:12:22,259
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we gotta get back to prom.

276
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:23,873
Oh, no, Danny. I don't think so.

277
00:12:23,874 --> 00:12:25,718
(Winces) I'm kind of over it.

278
00:12:25,719 --> 00:12:28,718
Yeah. I was wondering why you
didn't make more of an effort.

279
00:12:30,181 --> 00:12:33,045
We have to go back.
You've wanted this night your entire life.

280
00:12:33,046 --> 00:12:35,992
Plus, it's been like an hour
since you spilled on yourself,

281
00:12:35,993 --> 00:12:38,224
and your hair is starting to settle.
(Murmurs)

282
00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:41,905
I mean, we do have the limo until midnight.

283
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:45,109
Okay. Okay, okay. Let's go.

284
00:12:45,536 --> 00:12:47,432
Okay, now will you listen to me?

285
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,800
No, I just added that to my list of things

286
00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:52,171
never to do again. Sorry!

287
00:12:52,661 --> 00:12:53,780
There you guys are.

288
00:12:53,781 --> 00:12:56,933
Do you have any idea how
many 40-something fake blondes

289
00:12:56,934 --> 00:13:00,017
wearing age-inappropriate
clothing are running around here?

290
00:13:00,018 --> 00:13:02,098
God, it's a cougar-con.

291
00:13:02,718 --> 00:13:03,965
Tucker, what the hell?

292
00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:05,582
Why are you out in the middle
of the night with my baby?

293
00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:08,447
Because Emma and I just scored your mom

294
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:11,231
the last available ticket to Bon Jovi.

295
00:13:11,744 --> 00:13:13,815
- (Gasps)
- Yeah, it's in the balcony,

296
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,936
and behind a pillar, and
the show's almost over...

297
00:13:15,937 --> 00:13:17,917
but, look, I just wanted you to know

298
00:13:17,918 --> 00:13:20,414
how truly sorry I am
about the fake tickets.

299
00:13:20,769 --> 00:13:22,538
See?

300
00:13:22,539 --> 00:13:25,225
Now, that is how you apologize.

301
00:13:25,226 --> 00:13:26,482
Thank you, Tucker.

302
00:13:26,483 --> 00:13:28,220
Yes, thank you, Tucker.

303
00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:29,714
For nothing.

304
00:13:29,715 --> 00:13:32,239
Because my mom will be
backstage meeting Bon Jovi

305
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,420
with her all-access pass.

306
00:13:34,421 --> 00:13:36,156
That's what I've been trying to tell you.

307
00:13:36,157 --> 00:13:38,066
(Screaming)

308
00:13:46,386 --> 00:13:48,428
Oh, my God! Where did you get these?!

309
00:13:48,429 --> 00:13:50,253
I swiped them off the
security captain's desk.

310
00:13:50,254 --> 00:13:52,341
And I know it's illegal, but dare I say...

311
00:13:52,342 --> 00:13:54,212
I was "Living on a Prayer."

312
00:13:54,213 --> 00:13:55,826
Oh, Benjamin Wheeler,
you are the most devious

313
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,741
little criminal that a
mother could ever love.

314
00:13:58,051 --> 00:13:59,953
See ya, Tucket-master.

315
00:13:59,954 --> 00:14:01,258
Yeah!

316
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,553
Oh, yeah!

317
00:14:03,975 --> 00:14:05,395
<i>(Screams)</i>

318
00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,760
What happened to those
fake backstage passes

319
00:14:10,761 --> 00:14:12,116
we confiscated?

320
00:14:15,116 --> 00:14:16,182
Well, Emma,

321
00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:18,324
I would hate to think I hauled your ass

322
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:21,865
out of your crib for nothing.
I know. So...

323
00:14:22,322 --> 00:14:25,593
What do you say we use this ticket

324
00:14:25,594 --> 00:14:28,761
and take you to see your first concert?

325
00:14:28,762 --> 00:14:30,048
- (Chuckles)
- (Babbles)

326
00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:31,953
I know! Here you go.

327
00:14:33,416 --> 00:14:34,693
<i>(Alarm wails)</i>

328
00:14:34,694 --> 00:14:36,035
What? No...

329
00:14:36,036 --> 00:14:37,786
that was a fake too?

330
00:14:37,787 --> 00:14:40,011
God! It's getting so you can't trust people

331
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,903
selling stuff out of their
cars in a dark alley anymore.

332
00:14:43,913 --> 00:14:46,278
Section 342, seat 88.

333
00:14:46,279 --> 00:14:47,671
It's your lucky day.

334
00:14:47,672 --> 00:14:50,648
You just won a backstage pass for
a meet-and-greet with Jon Bon Jovi

335
00:14:50,649 --> 00:14:53,886
because we put the "fan" in "fantastic."

336
00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:56,128
(Gasps) Oh, my God! This is so great!

337
00:14:56,461 --> 00:14:58,676
Wait, wait, wait... just so we're clear,

338
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:02,377
is Bon Jovi a guy or a band?

339
00:15:02,888 --> 00:15:04,053
(Squeals)

340
00:15:04,054 --> 00:15:05,118
I don't know either.

341
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:07,715
(Screams)

342
00:15:07,716 --> 00:15:10,157
Hello, Jon Bon Jovi fan club members.

343
00:15:10,158 --> 00:15:12,755
It is me, your president.

344
00:15:12,756 --> 00:15:14,846
And, in just a few moments,

345
00:15:15,152 --> 00:15:18,636
I will be meeting the man himself.

346
00:15:18,637 --> 00:15:20,993
I'm going to have him autograph here,

347
00:15:20,994 --> 00:15:23,429
here, and a mystery body part

348
00:15:23,430 --> 00:15:26,271
to be named later... My boobs.

349
00:15:27,146 --> 00:15:28,215
Hey, I'm Ben.

350
00:15:28,216 --> 00:15:30,300
- And I like to party.
- Yeah, nobody cares. Nobody cares.

351
00:15:30,301 --> 00:15:33,201
Okay, not everyone can get back here.

352
00:15:33,202 --> 00:15:35,959
It is very exclusive.

353
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,975
Oh, hey, what's up, Mrs. Wheeler?

354
00:15:37,976 --> 00:15:39,851
Tucker, what are you doing here?

355
00:15:39,852 --> 00:15:41,417
Oh, that ticket nobody wanted

356
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:43,940
got us a backstage pass too.

357
00:15:43,941 --> 00:15:45,056
(Chuckles)

358
00:15:45,764 --> 00:15:48,499
Oh... except mine doesn't say

359
00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:51,184
"Madison Square Jarden."

360
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,535
Okay, people...

361
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:57,425
Mr. Bon Jovi will be here any minute.

362
00:15:57,426 --> 00:15:59,416
We've got some counterfeits out there.

363
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,841
<i>So I'll be double-checking
everyone's passes</i>

364
00:16:01,842 --> 00:16:03,986
and throwing out a few asses.

365
00:16:07,706 --> 00:16:10,433
- Yes! We made it.
- (Laughing)

366
00:16:10,434 --> 00:16:11,774
That limo really flew.

367
00:16:11,775 --> 00:16:13,527
So much better with me driving, right?

368
00:16:13,528 --> 00:16:16,095
- Yeah.
- Wait, door's closing? No, no, no!

369
00:16:16,096 --> 00:16:17,717
No, no, no, no! Door's closing?

370
00:16:17,718 --> 00:16:19,916
Oh, my God... I've been waiting seven years

371
00:16:19,917 --> 00:16:21,405
to wear this dress!

372
00:16:22,508 --> 00:16:24,756
(Sighs)
Wait, it can't be over.

373
00:16:24,757 --> 00:16:26,505
We'll get the band to
play a few more songs.

374
00:16:30,809 --> 00:16:32,887
Well, we'll at least get our picture taken

375
00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:34,310
by the balloon arch.

376
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:42,055
Danny, I so appreciate what
you're trying to do here.

377
00:16:42,056 --> 00:16:45,476
But it's over. Just let it go.

378
00:16:45,477 --> 00:16:47,497
Okay. Well, we'll start
planning for next year.

379
00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:48,789
Come on.

380
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,368
I thought this was a dream of yours.

381
00:16:50,369 --> 00:16:52,749
Well, some dreams don't come true.

382
00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:54,505
You know, and that's fine.

383
00:16:54,506 --> 00:16:56,771
I mean, it was silly anyway.

384
00:16:56,772 --> 00:16:59,867
I thought if I could just dance
under that giant disco ball

385
00:16:59,868 --> 00:17:03,469
to my favorite song, I could
erase who I was back then.

386
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:07,348
You know, the girl that
nobody wanted to take to prom.

387
00:17:08,113 --> 00:17:09,400
It's fine.

388
00:17:09,753 --> 00:17:11,705
I think it's time that I just moved on.

389
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,917
Just give my mom the pass.

390
00:17:15,673 --> 00:17:16,963
No, I'm good.

391
00:17:16,964 --> 00:17:18,013
Tucker!

392
00:17:18,508 --> 00:17:21,358
Look at that face. That
is the biggest Bon Jovi fan

393
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,221
and the best mom in the world.

394
00:17:23,222 --> 00:17:26,156
And I know, behind the cold
plastic of that backstage pass,

395
00:17:26,157 --> 00:17:27,856
there's a heart in there somewhere.

396
00:17:27,857 --> 00:17:29,634
So please, I beg of you,

397
00:17:29,635 --> 00:17:33,426
let this amazing, selfless
woman see Bon Jovi.

398
00:17:34,712 --> 00:17:36,207
That sounds rehearsed.

399
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:37,356
Yeah.

400
00:17:37,936 --> 00:17:39,754
I will babysit for the next month.

401
00:17:40,141 --> 00:17:41,710
She's your baby.

402
00:17:44,353 --> 00:17:45,490
(Sighs)

403
00:17:46,302 --> 00:17:49,092
Fine. Here's the pass.

404
00:17:49,093 --> 00:17:50,963
Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you,

405
00:17:50,964 --> 00:17:52,825
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

406
00:17:52,826 --> 00:17:56,055
You know I do think of you
as a second mom, so come here.

407
00:17:56,056 --> 00:17:58,368
Oh, Ben, you really are the best son ever.

408
00:17:59,175 --> 00:18:00,755
And I really do love you, mom.

409
00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:02,736
Now do what you gotta do.

410
00:18:02,737 --> 00:18:03,853
(Quietly) Okay.

411
00:18:04,235 --> 00:18:06,401
These two hoodlums have fake passes.

412
00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:08,203
Take these two out.

413
00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:10,688
Aw, come on.

414
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:13,114
Wait... come on. Can I at
least get a couple shrimp?

415
00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:16,831
All right, everyone, listen up.

416
00:18:17,384 --> 00:18:20,563
Mr. Bon Jovi will be here any minute.

417
00:18:20,564 --> 00:18:22,110
Yeah!

418
00:18:23,590 --> 00:18:25,772
(Laughs)
Sorry.

419
00:18:27,328 --> 00:18:29,501
He's just catching a quick shower.

420
00:18:30,481 --> 00:18:32,511
So you're saying he's naked?

421
00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:34,991
Alone?

422
00:18:35,705 --> 00:18:37,691
In his dressing room?

423
00:18:37,692 --> 00:18:38,791
Yeah.

424
00:18:38,792 --> 00:18:40,269
But it didn't sound quite so dirty

425
00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:41,952
when it came out of my mouth.

426
00:18:42,761 --> 00:18:44,685
You know what... I'm just going to duck out

427
00:18:44,686 --> 00:18:46,252
for like two seconds.

428
00:18:53,873 --> 00:18:55,601
(Sighs)

429
00:18:58,629 --> 00:19:00,378
(Murmuring excitedly)

430
00:19:10,443 --> 00:19:11,862
Mr. Bon Jo...

431
00:19:12,991 --> 00:19:14,663
<i>(distant horn honks)</i>

432
00:19:16,056 --> 00:19:17,347
No.

433
00:19:17,348 --> 00:19:19,537
No no no no no!

434
00:19:19,538 --> 00:19:20,981
Oh, Jon!

435
00:19:20,982 --> 00:19:22,700
Jon! Jon!

436
00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:24,533
Hey! Over here.

437
00:19:24,534 --> 00:19:27,505
It's me. Bonnie Wheeler.

438
00:19:27,506 --> 00:19:30,882
I'm the one who
short-circuited your fence.

439
00:19:32,549 --> 00:19:33,994
<i>(Knocking at door)</i>

440
00:19:35,704 --> 00:19:37,733
Is everything okay? Is
something wrong with Emma?

441
00:19:37,734 --> 00:19:39,479
No. She's fine.

442
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,904
It's you I was worried about.

443
00:19:40,905 --> 00:19:42,895
Oh, Danny. I'm fine.

444
00:19:44,146 --> 00:19:46,049
Why are you still in your tux?

445
00:19:47,132 --> 00:19:49,890
Because I don't believe
in giving up on dreams.

446
00:19:53,881 --> 00:19:55,712
Oh, my God. Danny.

447
00:19:55,713 --> 00:19:57,401
This is so sweet, but...

448
00:19:57,402 --> 00:19:58,813
I'm not finished.

449
00:20:00,369 --> 00:20:02,374
<i>(Slow rock music plays)</i>

450
00:20:05,697 --> 00:20:07,359
I don't know what to say.

451
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,409
Say you'll dance with me.

452
00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:12,212
Wait, I almost forgot
the most important part.

453
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:15,042
(Chuckles)

454
00:20:17,997 --> 00:20:20,701
That is not the most important part.

455
00:20:23,197 --> 00:20:25,946
You always being there for me is.

456
00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:32,436
<i>* I'll run with you forever *</i>

457
00:20:32,437 --> 00:20:35,277
you really are the best friend
a girl could ever ask for.

458
00:20:36,211 --> 00:20:41,169
<i>* As long a race as we have... *</i>

459
00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:50,715
Honestly, Jon was just as charming

460
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:53,604
and good-looking... and,
dare I say, handsy...

461
00:20:54,551 --> 00:20:56,601
as I ever imagined him to be.

462
00:20:56,602 --> 00:20:58,288
I'm just so gosh-darn disappointed

463
00:20:58,289 --> 00:20:59,642
he wouldn't pose for pictures.

464
00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:02,249
Really? No pictures? I got a ton.

465
00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:03,530
- What?
- Yeah, yeah.

466
00:21:03,531 --> 00:21:05,643
As we were being kicked out,
we ran into Jon in the hallway.

467
00:21:05,644 --> 00:21:06,721
He thought Emma was so cute.

468
00:21:06,722 --> 00:21:08,363
He wanted to take a photo
with his youngest fan. Here.

469
00:21:08,705 --> 00:21:10,796
(Gasps) He kissed Emma on the cheek?

470
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,276
Oh, my God. That means if I kiss her,

471
00:21:13,277 --> 00:21:15,093
I'm actually kissing him.

472
00:21:15,094 --> 00:21:16,220
Where is that baby?

473
00:21:16,221 --> 00:21:17,810
I will never go on strike again!

474
00:21:17,811 --> 00:21:19,009
Emma!

475
00:21:21,595 --> 00:21:23,152
God, I love Photoshop.