1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:03,533
Whoa! Alcatraz!
2
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:05,232
Can't believe Michael Bay spent
3
00:00:05,305 --> 00:00:07,034
a billion dollars
of his own money
4
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:08,300
to build that for The Rock.
5
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,276
I can't believe you were able
to recite that entire movie,
6
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,073
from memory, on the plane ride.
7
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,170
You weren't trying
to sleep, were you?
8
00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:16,841
I couldn't tell, 'cause you had
that mask thing over your eyes.
9
00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:19,146
This may be the craziest
week of my entire life.
10
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,881
I am six days away from the
start of the Unity Concert,
11
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,479
I am pregnant with triplets,
12
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:25,888
I am trying to decide
if I should take a job
13
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,256
that will move me away
from Pawnee,
14
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:30,660
and I am speaking at the National
Parks Conference in San Francisco.
15
00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:32,158
It is gonna be so much fun.
16
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,223
Michelle Obama is
the keynote speaker.
17
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,494
And you know what they say.
18
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:38,560
"What happens at
a National Parks Conference
19
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:42,973
"is compiled and emailed to you
in a PDF the following Monday."
20
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,009
We gotta find a way
to break in there.
21
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,038
They give tours.
Yeah.
22
00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:51,613
That's exactly how they'll be
expecting me to try to break in.
23
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Ripped By mstoll
24
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,333
My restaurant
opens in six weeks,
25
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,432
and I'm making sure
I get every detail right.
26
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:18,272
This is the hardest I've worked
27
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:19,936
on anything since...
28
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,575
Wow. I've never
worked hard on anything.
29
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,083
What a cool life!
30
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,745
Looks like everything's
on track for July.
31
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,478
It's just too bad
we're not opening
32
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:30,989
in time for this Unity Concert.
33
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:34,191
The extra publicity would've
given us a nice boost.
34
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,518
Why don't we?
35
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:36,789
We could do a soft
opening tomorrow,
36
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,462
and be ready just in time
for the concert crowd.
37
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,256
You really think
you can pull that off?
38
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:43,564
Well, nobody can
predict the future.
39
00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,634
Except me.
I guarantee it'll work,
40
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,935
and in six months, this place
will be bigger than McDonald's.
41
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,868
As always,
I love your enthusiasm.
42
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,872
See you tomorrow. Partner.
43
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,375
A soft opening tomorrow?
44
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,313
From now on,
everyone call me Kristen.
45
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,315
Because I am wigging out
right now!
46
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,653
Yeah, we're not even
close to being ready.
47
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:04,349
They're not even done painting that sign.
It says "Tom's bi."
48
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,516
Actually, no, that's good.
49
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:07,924
We're ready.
Mitch was right.
50
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,757
The amount of buzz we'd get
from opening next weekend
51
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,296
is too big to pass up.
52
00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:12,456
We can do it!
53
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:14,130
"This little Italian
restaurant will put
54
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,531
"McDonald's out of
business" on three.
55
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:16,830
One, two, three!
56
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,098
This little Italian restaurant will
put McDonald's out of business!
57
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,730
...rise from hell fire!
58
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,571
Lester Kanopf? Come on,
guys, get it together.
59
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:28,506
That's mine.
60
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:30,541
Sorry, Lester.
61
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,743
Yours is right here.
62
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:34,077
Grant! Hi!
63
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,246
Yeah, I saw
you were gonna be here,
64
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,186
and since you've
been ducking my calls,
65
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,519
I just thought that I'd drop in.
66
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:39,853
Care to join me for lunch?
67
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,118
I would...
68
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:42,218
Liam Bonneville's
gonna be there.
69
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:44,256
Liam Bonneville?
70
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,628
The Department of the
Interior's resident bad boy?
71
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:48,326
Well, now you've
got my attention.
72
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,460
Let me go grab my autograph
book and we'll head out.
73
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:53,766
Andy and I are meeting with
a tech company called Gryzzl.
74
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,671
Now, they're giving away
free WiFi
75
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:56,902
to a few cities across America,
76
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:59,035
and we're going to
pitch Pawnee to them.
77
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,907
And what exactly does Gryzzl do?
78
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,210
No idea.
79
00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,983
So, Gryzzl's
really taking off, huh?
80
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,682
Yeah.
It's been a crazy ride.
81
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,554
Our music service GryzzlDump
launched in November,
82
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,786
and now we have
170 million users.
83
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,688
Six months ago, I was
working in a taco truck.
84
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:21,165
Now, I own one-third of
the Portland Trailblazers.
85
00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:24,529
I think Pawnee is
a great candidate
86
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:25,901
for your free
wireless initiative.
87
00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:28,600
We lead the country in
online pizza ordering.
88
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:32,667
In fact, a lot of people go to the
library just to order pizza online.
89
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:35,509
Right now, we're kind of
focused on bigger cities,
90
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,880
like, Shreveport, Akron.
91
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,350
Sure, obviously, we're no Akron.
92
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,750
I mean, we're more like Dayton.
93
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:44,820
But with your help,
we can become Toledo.
94
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,661
Ben, we don't like to
say the word "no"...
95
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:49,786
No.
96
00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,193
...at this company.
97
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:54,427
We feel it's counter-productive
to our creative mission.
98
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,400
So instead, let me say,
99
00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,131
"Nah, bro."
100
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,070
How is that better?
101
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,808
Dwayne "The Rock" Swanson.
102
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,810
Donna told me I'd find you up here.
What's all this?
103
00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:09,507
Over the last few months, I've
remodeled the entire third floor.
104
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,310
Wiring, heating and cooling,
105
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:14,353
restored this red pine
back to its original glory.
106
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:18,413
Oh, wow, the stripes are so wavy.
It's really...
107
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,755
All right, I can't keep this facade
up any longer. I need a favor.
108
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,590
You know those chairs you were
making for my restaurant?
109
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:23,651
I need them now.
110
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:27,689
I was told I had until July.
My chairs take time.
111
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,758
Who do you think I am,
Thomas Hucker?
112
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:35,107
Please, Ron? I've never asked
you for anything today.
113
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,800
All right.
I'll get to work right away.
114
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,867
Please,
you're really far behind.
115
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,479
Hello, everybody.
This is Leslie Knope.
116
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,607
Leslie, this is Rebecca...
Varuvian, yes.
117
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:47,118
Hello. I know who you are.
I've read all of your papers,
118
00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:49,746
and I had your poster
on my wall when I was a kid.
119
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,923
What poster?
I made a poster of you
120
00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,755
by blowing up your picture from
the National Parks newsletter.
121
00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,419
I cut out your face
and made it look like
122
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:57,793
you were dunking
over Charles Barkley.
123
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,590
My God.
124
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:03,158
So you're the author of the famous
river clean-up proposal, huh?
125
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:04,963
It wasn't bad.
126
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,370
Liam Bonneville
read my proposal. Wow.
127
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,068
Liam's being
withholding as usual.
128
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,304
That proposal was
brilliantly written.
129
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:14,773
Rebecca Varuvian.
Yes?
130
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,072
Nothing.
131
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,982
That was the best lunch
I ever had.
132
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,747
I have to see the photos
that you took.
133
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:21,878
I didn't take any photos.
134
00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:23,785
What? Grant, come on!
135
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:26,654
Leslie, you're treating those
people like they're your heroes.
136
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:27,852
They could be your peers.
137
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,326
Look, I really
hope you take the job,
138
00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:30,760
but we're at
the end of the line here.
139
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,297
I need a decision by tomorrow.
140
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:33,855
Okay, that's fair.
141
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,401
I mean, I would be insane
not to take the job.
142
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,403
But I'm just having some trouble
143
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,699
thinking about leaving Pawnee.
144
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,736
Hey, here's someone who may
be able to convince you.
145
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,503
Hello, Mrs. Obama.
146
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,043
Hey, Grant. How you doing?
147
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,876
I'm doing good.
This is Leslie Knope.
148
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,414
She's considering a job with us
149
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,346
running the new Midwest
bureau in Chicago.
150
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:53,408
Well, you know how
I feel about Chicago.
151
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:55,647
Yeah. You are from Chicago,
so you like it!
152
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,450
That's right. And we
need passionate people,
153
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,219
like you, on our national parks.
154
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:03,194
You know they get hundreds of
millions of visitors each year.
155
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,288
Are you nodding
because you agree with me?
156
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,696
Yes.
I do agree with you.
157
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,432
I agree with you on all things.
158
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:09,490
Throughout history.
159
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,127
Until the end of time, forever.
160
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,262
You and Grant work together?
161
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:13,464
Yeah, we work together a lot.
162
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,564
He's helped me integrate
the Let's Move program
163
00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:17,575
into our National Parks,
you know?
164
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:19,975
Getting kids outside,
rock climbing, hiking.
165
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,536
Whoa! That's really,
really incredible!
166
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,445
Great work! I'm sorry
I'm talking so loud!
167
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:24,540
I'm getting louder
and now I can't stop!
168
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:25,675
My apologies!
169
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,251
I don't know, I can't...
170
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,789
Can I high-five you?
Yeah.
171
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:32,620
Well, I hope you take the job.
172
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,894
Change happens
one person at a time.
173
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:37,853
Good to meet you.
174
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:44,133
Again, think it over.
175
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,343
Okay.
This is a bad idea.
176
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,041
Just trust me.
177
00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:57,542
You got your camera ready? Yeah.
178
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,016
Andy, I'm very nervous
about this.
179
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,575
You're gonna hurt yourself.
180
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,016
And here we go.
181
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,587
Wow!
182
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:12,392
Look at it go! I mean, I knew it
would go down, but not that fast!
183
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:13,727
San Francisco's the best.
184
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,459
Hah.
185
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,128
I thought he was gonna be on it.
186
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:19,364
Yeah. Anyway.
187
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,373
I've decided.
I'm gonna take the job.
188
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,104
There's so much more
in the world to see,
189
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,805
and I feel like I can
really make a difference.
190
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,176
Oh, and I met Michelle Obama.
191
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,646
What? Why didn't
you lead with that?
192
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,843
I don't know! Liam Bonneville
has me in a tizzy!
193
00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:35,387
Guys! It's totally broken!
194
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:39,254
We have 10 tables booked
for the soft opening.
195
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,816
It's all friends and family, so
hopefully they'll go easy on us.
196
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:43,862
How's it looking, Ron?
Maybe speed it up a little?
197
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:47,889
This is not government work. As such,
I treat it with care and attention.
198
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,026
Okay, but also, go faster.
199
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,128
I haven't had time
to hire a staff yet,
200
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,264
so April, you'll handle service.
201
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,274
No. Can't I just stay
in the back
202
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:57,900
and spit in people's food
like we planned?
203
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:02,280
Ugh! The sawdust from Ron's
chairs is everywhere.
204
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,747
My sinuses are on the fritz,
205
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,341
and smell is 90% of taste!
Maybe 95!
206
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,716
Okay, Craig.
207
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,117
Donna's gonna be
your wine taster.
208
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:10,416
You guys will work as a team.
209
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:14,715
Fine, but if he raises his
voice once, once, I'm out.
210
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,125
Please don't stick
to that policy.
211
00:08:16,195 --> 00:08:17,685
I've got the menus.
212
00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:19,196
Great.
213
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,760
Larry, what the hell?
What are these pictures?
214
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,735
Oh, geez, I must have given the
printer the wrong flash drive.
215
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,567
What is this,
a rotten grapefruit?
216
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,106
No, it's my dog's rectum.
217
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,601
Lord Sheldon has a growth, so we're
sending pictures over to the vet.
218
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:34,407
But I guess this isn't
good for menus, is it?
219
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:38,047
Larry? Larry. Larry.
Listen to me.
220
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:41,684
This is the worst thing
you've ever done.
221
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:44,479
I need you to take all of
these dog butt pictures
222
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,854
and burn them in the pizza oven.
223
00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:48,126
April, you'll list all the
menu items from memory.
224
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,285
It'll be classier anyway.
225
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:51,862
Ron! What was wrong
with that one?
226
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,692
It was too perfect.
It looked machine-made.
227
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,296
Okay, we have to convince them
that Pawnee is a special city.
228
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:03,000
Ooh, we could tell them that
there's buried treasure in Pawnee,
229
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,409
and then, after they
give us the free WiFi,
230
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,878
we tell them that the
treasure was love all along.
231
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:08,971
No.
232
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,709
I am not gonna
take no for an answer.
233
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:13,843
If we're leaving Pawnee, I'm gonna
give them a going-away present,
234
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,013
free WiFi for all.
235
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:18,386
Every time someone in Pawnee
clicks through
236
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:22,257
a slideshow of American Music
Award red carpet sideboob fails,
237
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,195
they'll say,
"Thank you, Ben Wyatt."
238
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,325
What the hell?
239
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:30,468
They're playing
Cones of Dunshire.
240
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,160
Hey, you invented
that game.
241
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,369
Are they playing
any games I invented?
242
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:35,634
Are they throwing dirt
into a fan?
243
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,699
The key is, you have to throw the
dirt into the back of the fan.
244
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:38,937
How the hell do they...
245
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,743
Excuse me.
246
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,073
How did you guys get
your hands on this game?
247
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,083
Someone sent it to us.
Have you played it?
248
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,846
I invented Cones of Dunshire.
249
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,353
You're The Architect?
Yeah, right.
250
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,481
And I'm the alchemist
of the Hinterlands.
251
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,816
There can't be an alchemist
of the Hinterlands.
252
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,259
The Hinterlands
is a shadow kingdom
253
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:58,923
that can only sustain
a provost or a denier.
254
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,158
He's right.
255
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:02,757
Hey. How about this?
Let's play.
256
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:06,464
If I win, you give me another
shot at free wireless for Pawnee.
257
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,166
Have a seat.
258
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,107
You wanna be
corporal or warrior?
259
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,201
Neither.
260
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,707
I'm the maverick.
261
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:20,182
By using the Leslie Knope Seamless
Merger Super System, patent pending,
262
00:10:20,419 --> 00:10:23,149
Pawnee and Eagleton,
and their parks departments,
263
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:26,316
will be fully integrated within
the next six to twelve months.
264
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,224
I know, I know. I think it was
a good presentation, too.
265
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,593
Is that why you're laughing?
266
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,256
Your timeline is way off.
267
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:37,835
I was in charge of the
Wesham-Southborough merger of 2004.
268
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,461
You know when it was completed?
269
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:40,562
Last month.
270
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:41,833
What?
How is that possible?
271
00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:45,843
Merging governments requires
constant hands-on management.
272
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,675
You're being very cavalier
about the future of your town.
273
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,648
Excuse me. I've been accused
of a lot of things,
274
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,445
but cavalier has
never been one of them.
275
00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:53,917
I have a Super System.
276
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,681
I had a system, too.
277
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,254
But the economy went south.
278
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:01,783
My hometown hit some hard times
279
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:05,991
and was converted into
unincorporated territory.
280
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:07,862
You lost your cityhood?
281
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:11,664
If you wanna see this through, you
need eight to 10 years minimum.
282
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:14,331
Unless you wanna run the
risk of Pawnee becoming...
283
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,533
Don't say it!
284
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,940
...unincorporated territory.
285
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:24,611
That's a bold flavor.
Fruity. A little earthy.
286
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,208
Which is it?
Fruity or earthy?
287
00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:28,549
It can't be both,
they're mutually exclusive!
288
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:31,320
Oh, no! You do not
come at me like that.
289
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,449
I'm sorry. I don't know
who I am anymore.
290
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,221
A man without a palate
isn't a man.
291
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:36,454
I love you, Donna.
292
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:39,720
What are you guys doing? There's
people waiting out there!
293
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,664
We're having a moment,
you monster!
294
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:44,760
Stop hassling me.
295
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:47,465
Ron, you're amazing. You've
always been like a grandpa to me.
296
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,475
But can you please lower
your standards a tiny bit
297
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,171
so my customers
have somewhere to sit?
298
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:54,401
No.
299
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:55,942
Oh.
300
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,144
I am so sorry, Tom.
301
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,811
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but don't worry about it.
302
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,148
Restaurant superstition,
303
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,485
breaking a glass on the
first night is good luck.
304
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,121
Thank God.
305
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,086
Oh, geez.
306
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:19,793
I play an action card to build a
Belltower inside your Citadel.
307
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:24,204
My shaman casts a Toyber spell
on your prosperity tile.
308
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,609
Looks like someone's
out of resource gems.
309
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,575
Uh-oh.
310
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,157
What's so funny?
311
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:47,199
Oh, no, no, no.
You're a smart guy.
312
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,029
You've clearly picked up
some flashy tricks.
313
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,535
But you made one
crucial mistake.
314
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:54,668
You forgot about
the essence of the game.
315
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,967
It's about the cones.
316
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,512
I move my abbot
to the ocean hex,
317
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:07,381
which moves my brinksman
to the devil's lair,
318
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,752
and pushes my farmer,
yes, my humble farmer,
319
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,952
directly into the central cone.
320
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,997
Yeah, man! We did it!
This whole company is ours!
321
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:25,502
Oh, no, it's not.
That's mine.
322
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,562
That's mine. It's all mine.
Andy?
323
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:30,141
For the record,
I did invent this game.
324
00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:32,673
But it doesn't even matter,
because I won,
325
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,042
and I get
another chance to prove
326
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:36,843
that there is something
truly special about Pawnee.
327
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,851
Yes, there is. It's the
home of The Architect.
328
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,811
Let's talk.
329
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,445
I'm on top of the world!
330
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,183
Andy! What are you doing?
331
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,358
Seems like things
are a little chaotic.
332
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:48,825
No, no.
Everything is perfect.
333
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,294
This is April. She's gonna be
taking care of you tonight.
334
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:52,990
Hello.
Welcome to Tom's Bistro.
335
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:54,828
Today we have spaghetti,
linguine, fettuccine,
336
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,266
ravioli, rigatoni,
bucatini, lasagna.
337
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:58,594
Could you repeat that?
338
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,798
Spaghetti, linguine,
fettuccine, ravioli, rigatoni,
339
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:03,136
Ferrari, Lamborghini,
bucatini, lasagna.
340
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,069
Can I see a menu?
341
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:06,634
We had to throw our menus away
342
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:10,546
because they are covered with
pictures of Larry's dog's rectum.
343
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:13,084
Great news. Lord Sheldon's
gonna make it. Yeah.
344
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,779
We just have to apply
a salve to his anus
345
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,186
every hour for the rest of his life, but...
346
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:18,348
Oh! Enjoy your meal!
347
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,550
For crying out loud!
348
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,422
No! Mitch, don't leave.
Come on!
349
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,586
You have no idea how
to run a restaurant.
350
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:25,357
I've been in this game before,
351
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,228
and I can see the cracks
starting to form.
352
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,234
Sorry, kid. Consider
my investment terminated.
353
00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:31,360
Dee, let's go.
354
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,995
Sir, were you sitting
in that chair?
355
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,335
Yes. Yes, I was. Why?
356
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:36,869
No reason.
357
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,338
Let's go.
358
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:45,475
Apparently, and I don't know
how, but the game has spread.
359
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,078
I mean, it's all over the Internet.
Austin, Charlotte, San Diego.
360
00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:51,281
I mean, people are playing
with my cones, babe.
361
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,449
That's great.
362
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:54,788
I'm just bummed
I never copyrighted it.
363
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,020
I'll look into that.
364
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:58,586
But at least because of it,
Pawnee will get free wireless
365
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:01,292
and we can both move away
with a clear conscience.
366
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,530
Uh-oh. What's wrong?
367
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:07,505
I can't leave Pawnee
368
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,872
during a difficult merger
that I'm responsible for.
369
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,340
I have to turn down the job.
370
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,571
Leslie, no.
You made up your mind.
371
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,773
Yesterday. You...
372
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:17,808
Michelle Obama!
373
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,680
I know! But I've been
doing this for months.
374
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:24,246
The only thing that I am 100% positive
on is that I wanna stay and go.
375
00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:26,054
I'm never gonna
be able to decide.
376
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,093
I'm gonna be paralyzed
by hypotheticals
377
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,253
until I die here,
in this mini van!
378
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,461
At the San Francisco airport.
379
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:34,731
Wait a second.
I have an idea.
380
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:38,225
Drive here.
381
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,471
So, you screwed up a little.
382
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,442
You tried to shoot the moon
and you came up short.
383
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:46,876
That doesn't mean it's over.
384
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,312
My main investor pulled out.
385
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,747
Any dollar I spend
from now on is my own.
386
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:55,981
And despite what my pocket square
says, I'm not a billionaire.
387
00:15:57,222 --> 00:15:58,917
So, I quit.
388
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:00,549
Just go home, Ron.
389
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,787
Not done with the chairs yet.
390
00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:06,797
It is my belief that you never start
a job you don't intend to finish.
391
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,560
Really? I love quitting.
392
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,465
When I was a kid
and things didn't go my way,
393
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,527
I would just take
my ball and go home.
394
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:13,764
That's better than winning,
395
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:15,136
'cause then, your friends
can't play anymore!
396
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:16,435
Hey!
397
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:17,668
No! My stemware!
398
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,677
You are not quitting.
399
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,303
I just called
a bunch of reviewers,
400
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:24,372
and I told them that the
soft opening went great,
401
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,350
and I invited them to
come here on Friday.
402
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:27,612
Why would you do this to me?
403
00:16:27,686 --> 00:16:29,244
You worked really hard.
404
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,289
You owe it to yourself
to give it a real shot,
405
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,120
because you are
smart and talented.
406
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:37,623
Well, I hate doing work,
but I love being flattered,
407
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,488
so maybe I'll give it another try.
Good.
408
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,625
That's a smart move, son.
Thanks, Ron.
409
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:45,929
Because you currently
owe me $16,000.
410
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,768
For the wood.
What?
411
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,137
Where are we going?
412
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:54,236
It's right up here.
Just trust me.
413
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,280
Wait. I'm on Endor.
414
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,313
These are the redwoods
George Lucas used
415
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,548
to create
the forest moon of Endor.
416
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,886
Sorry, that's not why
we're here. Let's go.
417
00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:11,352
That is a gorgeous view.
418
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:13,059
Yes, it is.
419
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:15,857
But don't look at that.
Look at this.
420
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:19,361
You've been thinking about
this job in the abstract.
421
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,400
Focus on what it actually means.
422
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:27,342
We're standing in a national
park that stretches 50 miles.
423
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,779
That's The Presidio, over
there, it's a national park.
424
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:32,180
So is Alcatraz,
and so are the redwoods
425
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:33,513
we just walked through,
by the way.
426
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:38,654
You take this job, places like
this will be your office.
427
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,521
Well, that is
a compelling point.
428
00:17:40,592 --> 00:17:41,581
Okay, when we got back
from London,
429
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:44,629
you said that
it's a very big world
430
00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:46,459
and you've seen
very little of it.
431
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,500
This is your chance, honey.
432
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,496
This whole region,
433
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:55,233
Mount Rushmore, the badlands, the
Ozarks, Abe Lincoln's childhood home,
434
00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:57,366
you would be in charge
of all of it.
435
00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:01,611
Your job would be to preserve the
most beautiful places on Earth
436
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,444
so millions of people
could enjoy them.
437
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:08,919
And those places, the greatest
treasures America has to offer,
438
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:13,617
will all have signs
with your name right there.
439
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,857
Hi, Grant.
I want the job.
440
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,833
I have a lot of questions,
441
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,563
but I'm a little amped up right
now, so I'll probably just hang up.
442
00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:27,696
Might be for the best.
But anyway, I love you.
443
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,708
No, I don't. I'm sorry.
That was weird. Okay, bye.
444
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,267
Oh, this is Lester Kanopf.
No, you know...
445
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:34,437
Okay. Bye.
446
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,538
Smoothly handled, Lester.
Yeah. I panicked.
447
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:40,351
We should go. We have
a lot of stuff to do.
448
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,112
And the meter's still running
on that cab, so chop, chop.
449
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:45,213
Really? Oh.
Yeah.
450
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,926
Opening of Tom's Bistro
was a disaster. So, what?
451
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:54,762
This is America. And America's
the land of second chances.
452
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:59,293
And now we have one night,
one after-party,
453
00:18:59,404 --> 00:19:02,100
to make the world realize
that Tom's Bistro
454
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,801
is where miracles can happen!
455
00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:08,177
Thomas, I have to work all
day at the Unity Concert.
456
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,408
If you're gonna pull this
off, we need more people!
457
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,847
I know,
and I didn't wanna do this,
458
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,544
but I called in
some reinforcements.
459
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:15,814
Did someone call
for a party zoo?
460
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,150
All right,
so we got a four-way going
461
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,351
with my ex, my brother,
and this rando?
462
00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:23,656
Okay, if that's
where the night is going.
463
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,356
It's 9:00 in the morning. What?
464
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,727
It's not a four-way.
465
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,195
And I need your help.
Ugh!
466
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:31,095
Take these VIP invitations,
467
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,035
find all the A-list peeps
at the concert,
468
00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:35,038
and get them to
the restaurant tonight.
469
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,574
I gotta stop by
the Parks office.
470
00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:38,337
I'll meet you later.
God speed.
471
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,909
I like your energy, hombre.
472
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:41,602
What do you say you and
I ride go-karts later?
473
00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:43,576
I wanna go horseback riding!
474
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,009
Deal.
475
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:47,916
Last chance, Ron.
476
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,619
The slots are finalized, but
I can squeeze in 10 minutes
477
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:54,318
if a certain Mr. Duke
Silver wanted to come out.
478
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:56,122
Come on, Ron.
It's gonna be so fun.
479
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,287
Thank you, Andrew.
480
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:58,829
But fun or not,
481
00:19:58,897 --> 00:20:01,331
playing music is something
I like to keep private,
482
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,760
along with my family,
my conversations,
483
00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:06,360
and my whereabouts at all times.
484
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:07,699
Okay, everyone.
485
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:11,209
Welcome to the very last Unity
Concert planning meeting.
486
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:14,277
Andy, you are in charge, this is your show.
Take it away.
487
00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:17,247
Your mission, should you
choose to accept it,
488
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:20,710
is to accept
the following missions.
489
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,611
Madison.
Manning the art tents.
490
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:23,677
Donna.
491
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:24,983
Scheduling and security liaison.
492
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,115
Larry.
493
00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:27,317
Staying out of the way.
494
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,356
And all of the rest of the
volunteer work assignments
495
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,123
are up on this board.
496
00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:35,826
Your main goal today is to
get 2,000 people to sign up
497
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:41,566
for the Pawnee-Eagleton Merger
Preservation Volunteer Action Squad.
498
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,508
Their first project will be to come
up with a shorter name for the group.
499
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:49,411
You're right, the name is too long,
I was picturing bigger hats.
500
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:52,416
All right, here we go.
Everybody, let's get to work!
501
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,248
Can the Parks and Rec people
hang back for a second?
502
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,751
The reason I wanted you guys to stick
around is, I wanted to tell you
503
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:08,162
that I love and admire you.
504
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,359
Oh, Leslie, thank you!
505
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,458
You say that every morning.
506
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:13,399
A while ago, I was offered a job
507
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:14,905
at the National Parks Service.
508
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,904
And it's a great opportunity, but
it means that I'll have to move.
509
00:21:18,977 --> 00:21:21,070
To Illinois.
510
00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:22,340
And I took the job.
511
00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:24,381
Good for you!
512
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,178
- That's great!
- Congratulations, Knope.
513
00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:29,545
The sentimental people in this
office will probably miss you.
514
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:30,713
When do you leave?
515
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,689
- Soon. Maybe a month.
- Oh.
516
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:36,750
That makes what we're about to
show you a little bit awkward.
517
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:40,295
We had a new Founder's
Day statue commissioned,
518
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,925
and added your name to the
list of founders of Pawnee.
519
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:45,765
Because you basically
founded this new town.
520
00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:48,863
"Leslie Knope, champion of
the Pawnee-Eagleton merger.
521
00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:52,068
"Our most faithful citizen.
She never abandoned us."
522
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,173
Oh, boy.
There's a quote, too.
523
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:57,704
"Only a moron would ever live
anywhere other than Pawnee, Indiana.
524
00:21:57,783 --> 00:21:59,614
"Leslie Knope,
multiple occasions."
525
00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:02,711
I can cut a new plinth with
a less ironic inscription.
526
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:04,517
This is so touching, you guys.
527
00:22:05,023 --> 00:22:08,220
I am crying out of happiness
and sadness and gratitude,
528
00:22:08,293 --> 00:22:09,658
and because
I'm carrying triplets,
529
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:11,593
and for a fifth reason
that I can't figure out.
530
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:15,155
Leslie, don't cry. It's not that great.
Doesn't even look like you.
531
00:22:15,233 --> 00:22:17,292
Or actually, you know what?
It kinda does.
532
00:22:19,638 --> 00:22:21,731
Well, about that time.
Unity Concert!
533
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:30,875
Hello, Pawnee,
we're The Decemberists.
534
00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:36,687
It's great to be here
in support of this event.
535
00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:38,518
This is truly an amazing town.
536
00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:43,027
I ordered a small cheeseburger
and both the buns were pizzas.
537
00:22:59,911 --> 00:23:02,709
Joanie baby, I'm throwing a huge
party tonight at Tom's Bistro.
538
00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:03,770
You gots to stop by.
539
00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:04,873
You gots to stop by.
540
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:07,514
Will this medium
drink of water be there?
541
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:10,919
The only reason I wouldn't be
there is if I got pulled over.
542
00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:15,455
For violating
my house arrest
543
00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:17,423
- Ah, boosh!
- What?
544
00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:19,623
Judge gave me two
ankle bracelets.
545
00:23:19,698 --> 00:23:22,098
Said it was the first time
he ever had to do that.
546
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:25,261
Ja boy's a question on the bar exam!
Ya heard!
547
00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:30,063
Anyway. Tom's Bistro,
tonight. Be there.
548
00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:36,579
Don't.
Just let me talk...
549
00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:38,842
Well, the relocation
package seems fair.
550
00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:41,442
But the dental plan
is more than fair.
551
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,182
I mean, three annual cleanings
for the spouse? Ka-ching!
552
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:45,883
Did someone say "dental plan"?
553
00:23:45,957 --> 00:23:47,049
How's it going?
554
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:49,525
Councilman Jeremy Jamm,
Jamm Orthodontics.
555
00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:52,693
Hey, I think we can all agree
this concert blows, right?
556
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,231
If you guys really
wanna see a crowd,
557
00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:57,325
you might wanna stop by my
secession rally later tonight.
558
00:23:57,402 --> 00:23:59,267
That is gonna be off the hook.
559
00:23:59,704 --> 00:24:01,365
You ever heard of Warrant? Yeah.
560
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:02,702
There's a cover band right here,
561
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:04,298
that call themselves Cherry Pie.
562
00:24:04,409 --> 00:24:05,706
Pretty sure we got
their bass player.
563
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:07,638
Oh, wow.
Gonna be pretty good.
564
00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:11,204
Rock and roll
Yeah, poison
565
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,439
What is that?
566
00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:14,382
Just general rock, man.
It's gonna be fun.
567
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:17,980
She's my cherry pie
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
568
00:24:18,056 --> 00:24:19,182
That guy was a councilman?
569
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:20,315
Crazy, right?
570
00:24:20,425 --> 00:24:21,915
Okay, let's talk staff.
571
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:25,161
For the first few months, you're
only gonna have six staffers.
572
00:24:25,230 --> 00:24:26,857
Four of them will be
coming up from Omaha.
573
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:28,263
Oh, so, does that mean that
574
00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:29,925
there's two openings left?
Yeah.
575
00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:33,562
Because I happen to know some of
the most dedicated civil servants,
576
00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:35,765
and greatest people to
ever walk the planet Earth.
577
00:24:35,841 --> 00:24:37,308
You can hire whoever you like.
578
00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:01,163
Ginuwine, it is an honor to be
breathing the same air as you.
579
00:25:01,299 --> 00:25:02,391
No joke.
580
00:25:02,467 --> 00:25:03,900
But real talk,
581
00:25:03,969 --> 00:25:07,928
we're both men about town being constantly
bombarded with party invitations.
582
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,030
Who is this guy?
583
00:25:09,107 --> 00:25:10,699
My friend who's opening
a restaurant tonight,
584
00:25:10,775 --> 00:25:12,504
and you're going
to be there, cousin.
585
00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:14,039
Unless you want me
to get on stage
586
00:25:14,112 --> 00:25:16,273
and talk about how we used
to take baths together.
587
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:18,942
How you cried whenever I took
away your rubber duckies.
588
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:22,247
Damn, Donna, why you gotta bring
the Quackson Five into this?
589
00:25:23,722 --> 00:25:24,882
How y'all doing?
590
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:28,625
Lil' Sebastian,
this one is for you.
591
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,618
Because you're my pony.
592
00:25:47,946 --> 00:25:49,811
Ron, I have to
ask you something,
593
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,678
and I want you to
consider it, okay?
594
00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:52,808
Really consider it.
595
00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:56,247
How would you feel
about leaving Pawnee
596
00:25:56,321 --> 00:25:57,754
and moving to Chicago?
597
00:25:57,822 --> 00:25:59,255
Hold on.
Come on, I'm not done.
598
00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:01,019
You'd be working for
the federal government.
599
00:26:03,028 --> 00:26:04,427
You know what?
Excuse me for wanting
600
00:26:04,496 --> 00:26:05,827
my dear friend
and ethical mentor
601
00:26:05,897 --> 00:26:07,990
to accompany me on the
adventure of a lifetime.
602
00:26:08,199 --> 00:26:09,962
It's very sweet, Leslie.
603
00:26:10,035 --> 00:26:12,060
And the National
Parks Service is probably
604
00:26:12,137 --> 00:26:14,833
the only branch
of government worth a damn.
605
00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:16,430
But Diane and I are quite happy
606
00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:17,907
raising our family here.
607
00:26:18,276 --> 00:26:19,334
Now if you'll excuse me,
608
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:20,901
there's a booth
over there serving
609
00:26:20,979 --> 00:26:23,345
something called
"fried sausage quilts,"
610
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,610
so I'm going to buy the booth.
611
00:26:31,656 --> 00:26:34,625
Hello. I'm Johnny Karate.
612
00:26:38,129 --> 00:26:40,256
Imaginary friends are cool
613
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:44,493
Imaginary friends
take the fall for you
614
00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:46,500
Daddy, you should play music.
615
00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:49,502
Yeah, Ron. Go on, get up
there, have some fun.
616
00:26:49,841 --> 00:26:53,106
I recalibrated the sights on all the
rifles in the shooting gallery.
617
00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:55,446
I've had enough fun for one day.
618
00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:01,215
Oh, I know that look.
Where is she?
619
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,947
She's near.
Hide the children.
620
00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:07,690
Hello, Ron.
Hello, Ron's friend.
621
00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:09,453
Tammy.
622
00:27:09,527 --> 00:27:12,291
What could possibly bring you
to a children's performance?
623
00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:14,730
Preparing a ritual sacrifice
of a newborn?
624
00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:17,324
No, just trolling
for some daddy.
625
00:27:17,402 --> 00:27:19,393
Sorry, I pronounced that wrong.
626
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,701
I'm trolling
for some dad-dy.
627
00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:24,138
Diane, why don't you take the
girls for some ice cream
628
00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:27,337
while I dispose of this
sewer-dwelling gutter witch?
629
00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:29,642
Bye, Tammy.
Always a pleasure.
630
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:31,680
You're not fooling me, Ron.
631
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:35,914
This little domestic charade of
yours hasn't changed you one bit.
632
00:27:36,121 --> 00:27:39,090
You're still
the same old Ron Swanson.
633
00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:40,988
And I will defeat you.
634
00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:43,828
I will defeat you
right into my pants.
635
00:27:43,895 --> 00:27:46,125
Thank you.
Everybody go crazy!
636
00:27:49,768 --> 00:27:52,328
All right, thanks, guys. Remember.
Karate on bad guys only.
637
00:27:52,404 --> 00:27:53,701
Hey, man, you were
really great out there.
638
00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:55,529
Oh, hey! Burly!
How you doing, man?
639
00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:56,631
Pretty good, man.
640
00:27:56,708 --> 00:27:58,369
Remember my nephew, Jack?
He's a really big fan.
641
00:27:58,443 --> 00:28:00,570
Whoa. Hey, Jack.
Good to see you, bud.
642
00:28:00,845 --> 00:28:02,244
Hey, listen, man,
I'm really sorry
643
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:04,178
things ended so weird
with Mouse Rat.
644
00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:06,683
That's not really how I pictured
us breaking up, you know?
645
00:28:06,751 --> 00:28:08,309
Yeah, I do know.
646
00:28:08,386 --> 00:28:10,081
I always figured we'd,
you know, whatever,
647
00:28:10,155 --> 00:28:11,918
break up because I got
drafted by the Colts.
648
00:28:12,390 --> 00:28:15,553
And then in the first game,
of course, I break my leg.
649
00:28:15,627 --> 00:28:17,652
The crowd starts
chanting my name,
650
00:28:17,729 --> 00:28:18,787
and I give them the thumbs up.
651
00:28:19,297 --> 00:28:21,197
And then I go to the hospital,
I get really good at chess,
652
00:28:21,266 --> 00:28:23,427
I end up beating
the computer finally.
653
00:28:23,501 --> 00:28:25,867
And then the band just
sort of drifts apart.
654
00:28:25,937 --> 00:28:27,268
That was how I saw it, but...
Yeah.
655
00:28:28,006 --> 00:28:30,099
Take it easy.
Yeah, see ya.
656
00:28:30,442 --> 00:28:31,841
Babe!
657
00:28:31,910 --> 00:28:34,344
That was so awesome. That was
the best performance ever.
658
00:28:34,412 --> 00:28:36,380
One kid peed his pants because
he didn't want to miss anything.
659
00:28:36,448 --> 00:28:37,813
What? I gave
a kid pee-pants?
660
00:28:37,882 --> 00:28:38,940
Yes!
661
00:28:39,017 --> 00:28:41,042
That's why I do what I do.
662
00:28:41,786 --> 00:28:42,810
What's wrong?
663
00:28:42,887 --> 00:28:46,015
I guess I just kind of miss having
people up on stage with me.
664
00:28:46,091 --> 00:28:47,524
They never tell you,
when you go solo,
665
00:28:47,592 --> 00:28:48,957
that it's just
gonna be you up there.
666
00:28:50,028 --> 00:28:53,327
Anyways, what do you say I
take you over to the ball pit,
667
00:28:53,865 --> 00:28:56,060
and we find your
cell phone I lost?
668
00:28:56,301 --> 00:28:57,461
Wait, what?
669
00:29:26,664 --> 00:29:28,962
I love you, Kay Hanley!
670
00:29:33,004 --> 00:29:35,302
I hope you like
deep-dish pizza,
671
00:29:35,373 --> 00:29:37,500
because there's gonna be
a lot more of it in Chicago,
672
00:29:37,575 --> 00:29:39,440
where we're all gonna be moving.
673
00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:42,375
Okay.
No. No!
674
00:29:42,914 --> 00:29:45,815
We are not moving to Chicago
for, like, a billion reasons.
675
00:29:45,884 --> 00:29:47,511
But, babe, pizza.
676
00:29:47,585 --> 00:29:48,779
There's pizza in Pawnee.
677
00:29:49,053 --> 00:29:50,748
Right. Thanks, babe.
678
00:29:50,822 --> 00:29:52,449
You're so good at reminding
me where pizza is.
679
00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:54,719
Come on, guys, take a risk!
680
00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:56,590
Live on the edge.
Life is an adventure.
681
00:29:56,661 --> 00:29:57,992
It is! Let's do it!
682
00:29:58,062 --> 00:29:59,393
No!
No.
683
00:29:59,731 --> 00:30:02,256
Pawnee is cheap
and we like it here,
684
00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:06,099
and Chicago seems like there's a
lot of stuff to do and people,
685
00:30:06,171 --> 00:30:08,196
but I like to do
nothing with no one.
686
00:30:08,273 --> 00:30:10,264
So, thank you and I love you,
687
00:30:10,341 --> 00:30:12,741
but no thank you,
and I hate you.
688
00:30:13,711 --> 00:30:15,269
More I love you.
689
00:30:16,347 --> 00:30:18,178
You know,
you owe me for that pizza.
690
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:44,001
Thank you, Pawnee!
691
00:30:44,275 --> 00:30:47,642
We have been
Bobby Knight Ranger!
692
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:56,947
Super cool to hear Sister Christian
that many times in a row!
693
00:30:57,255 --> 00:30:59,746
Now is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
694
00:30:59,824 --> 00:31:03,817
This next band agreed to
re-unite for one night only.
695
00:31:03,895 --> 00:31:04,987
And it's gonna be great.
696
00:31:05,063 --> 00:31:07,793
I personally hope that
they play Summer Sun.
697
00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:10,830
We all know how it goes, right?
698
00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:19,003
Hey, Andy. Why don't you
let us play those, bud?
699
00:31:19,277 --> 00:31:23,304
Yeah. Good point. Okay.
Without any further ado,
700
00:31:23,848 --> 00:31:25,076
Land Ho!
701
00:31:30,588 --> 00:31:32,078
Hello, Pawnee!
702
00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:02,480
Thank you, Pawnee!
703
00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:03,713
You miss the band?
704
00:32:04,289 --> 00:32:07,224
No, I mean, I love that
I'm Johnny Karate now.
705
00:32:08,626 --> 00:32:11,823
But being part of a band,
that's rock and roll, man.
706
00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:16,358
Joining us now for our finale,
legendary local band,
707
00:32:16,801 --> 00:32:18,359
please welcome Mouse Rat!
708
00:32:19,304 --> 00:32:21,295
You guys are
closing this sucker down!
709
00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:28,775
How about this Unity Concert,
huh, Pawnee?
710
00:32:33,518 --> 00:32:37,420
I love this town so much and I'm
just so proud to live here.
711
00:32:38,656 --> 00:32:40,283
And we're gonna
close tonight out
712
00:32:40,358 --> 00:32:43,919
with a tribute to
Pawnee's greatest treasure.
713
00:33:36,447 --> 00:33:39,814
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Duke Silver!
714
00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:28,396
Guys, this is the most
important night of my life.
715
00:34:28,466 --> 00:34:30,934
Which means it's the most important
night of your lives, too.
716
00:34:31,002 --> 00:34:31,991
Speak for yourself.
717
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,334
I once got into a cab that Kyra
Sedgwick was getting out of!
718
00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:36,100
No way, the closer?
719
00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:38,940
It's opening night.
Let's do this!
720
00:34:39,143 --> 00:34:41,407
Hey, butt-weiners!
721
00:34:41,646 --> 00:34:44,046
Look who I found
722
00:34:44,115 --> 00:34:45,412
Daddy!
723
00:34:45,483 --> 00:34:48,418
No! Your father ruined my last business.
Why would you bring him here?
724
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:50,685
Mmm, because you told me
to look for VIPs
725
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,714
and my daddy is
the Vl-est PI know.
726
00:34:54,959 --> 00:34:56,153
I love you, Daddy.
727
00:34:56,227 --> 00:34:57,353
I love you, too, angel!
728
00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:58,554
Money, please!
729
00:34:59,997 --> 00:35:01,726
Money, please!
Money, money, money!
730
00:35:01,799 --> 00:35:02,788
Craig, grab a drink!
731
00:35:03,334 --> 00:35:04,631
Why would you come here,
Saperstein?
732
00:35:04,869 --> 00:35:07,963
I came here to see
your flourishing business.
733
00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:09,529
To see how well you're doing.
734
00:35:09,874 --> 00:35:12,069
Wow! You're packed!
735
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:14,767
Can you squeeze me in,
or do I need a reservation?
736
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:18,211
'Cause there's nobody here.
737
00:35:19,217 --> 00:35:21,447
Maybe this restaurant
won't be a huge success.
738
00:35:21,519 --> 00:35:23,953
Maybe it won't be
packed with celebrities.
739
00:35:24,021 --> 00:35:25,989
Tommy!
Or maybe it will!
740
00:35:26,057 --> 00:35:27,251
Hello, Joan!
Hello, Perd.
741
00:35:27,325 --> 00:35:28,451
Hi!
742
00:35:28,526 --> 00:35:30,153
Thanks for coming by.
743
00:35:30,361 --> 00:35:31,385
Can I get you a drink?
744
00:35:31,462 --> 00:35:32,952
I'll have the "Joan."
745
00:35:33,030 --> 00:35:36,591
It's a tumbler of gin and it's got
crushed aspirin around the rim.
746
00:35:37,101 --> 00:35:39,001
And I would just
like an empty glass.
747
00:35:39,237 --> 00:35:41,933
Steve, can we get these cocktails
going for Joan and Perd?
748
00:35:42,006 --> 00:35:44,736
Oh, look! Kay Hanley, rock star.
Thanks for coming by!
749
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:46,208
Thanks for having me.
750
00:35:46,277 --> 00:35:50,304
Come on in, guys. You might wanna
grab a seat, Dr. Saperstein.
751
00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:53,517
Looks like it's getting
a little crowded.
752
00:35:59,056 --> 00:36:02,219
And I said, "You don't need a towel.
You need a washcloth."
753
00:36:06,697 --> 00:36:10,292
I don't think that the girls have
ever been happier or more surprised
754
00:36:10,368 --> 00:36:12,495
than when you got
up on that stage.
755
00:36:12,570 --> 00:36:15,130
Well, having you and
the kids in my life
756
00:36:15,206 --> 00:36:16,730
has made me a different person.
757
00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:18,535
And I like it.
758
00:36:19,076 --> 00:36:22,170
There's more room
in my life for fun.
759
00:36:27,485 --> 00:36:28,679
Hi, Ben!
760
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,511
It's me, Barney,
from the accounting firm.
761
00:36:31,589 --> 00:36:32,749
Yes, hi, Barney.
762
00:36:32,823 --> 00:36:34,814
You don't have to introduce
yourself every time.
763
00:36:34,926 --> 00:36:37,053
I was gonna wait until your
birthday to give this to you,
764
00:36:37,128 --> 00:36:39,119
but I'm just too excited.
765
00:36:39,830 --> 00:36:42,424
This is the copyright
to Cones of Dunshire.
766
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:45,765
After you gave it to us as a
gift, we saw its potential,
767
00:36:45,836 --> 00:36:48,828
so we formed a "C" Corp and
registered it in your name!
768
00:36:48,906 --> 00:36:52,137
This is amazing.
How can I ever repay you?
769
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,405
Come work for us at
the accounting firm?
770
00:36:55,146 --> 00:36:56,238
Okay.
771
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,713
No, sorry, I can't.
772
00:37:00,184 --> 00:37:02,482
Wow. Shortest one yet.
773
00:37:03,287 --> 00:37:04,686
Thank you.
774
00:37:05,523 --> 00:37:08,458
Babe, thank you so much for
organizing the Mouse Rat reunion.
775
00:37:08,526 --> 00:37:11,120
It was actually Ginuwine
who arranged everything.
776
00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:13,294
He really cares about you.
777
00:37:13,364 --> 00:37:15,389
You're the greatest wife ever.
778
00:37:15,466 --> 00:37:17,263
I wish I could
marry you all over again.
779
00:37:17,568 --> 00:37:18,865
Let's get divorced.
780
00:37:18,936 --> 00:37:20,062
That way we can
get married again!
781
00:37:20,137 --> 00:37:21,161
Yes! Let's do it.
782
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,331
You want to?
Yes!
783
00:37:22,707 --> 00:37:24,607
We should do that, right?
Yeah, totally.
784
00:37:24,675 --> 00:37:26,302
We're getting divorced!
Yes!
785
00:37:27,178 --> 00:37:30,306
This is amazing! Practically
everyone we invited came.
786
00:37:30,615 --> 00:37:32,515
Except for Liam Hemsworth
and Miley Cyrus.
787
00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:34,949
I was hoping tonight would be magical
enough to get them back together.
788
00:37:35,019 --> 00:37:37,385
Let it go, friend. He's
not good enough for her.
789
00:37:37,455 --> 00:37:38,513
And vice-versa!
790
00:37:39,423 --> 00:37:40,447
Thomas.
791
00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:42,354
Yes, we don't get along.
792
00:37:42,426 --> 00:37:46,157
But I look at you,
I see driven, I see smart,
793
00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:50,189
and I just had the best Italian
meal I've ever had in my life.
794
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,463
And I've been to Dallas.
795
00:37:53,237 --> 00:37:54,363
I'm in.
No way.
796
00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:56,269
I'm not gonna let you take
another one of my businesses.
797
00:37:56,340 --> 00:37:59,434
No, I'm in as a partner.
798
00:37:59,510 --> 00:38:01,375
I'm always looking
for new investments.
799
00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:03,879
I've got an auto dealership,
I've got a massage parlor,
800
00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:06,644
a dry cleaning
transactional holding company
801
00:38:06,717 --> 00:38:09,880
that is doing unbelievably
well, I might add.
802
00:38:09,954 --> 00:38:10,978
What do you say?
803
00:38:12,723 --> 00:38:13,747
You know what?
804
00:38:13,824 --> 00:38:15,189
I'm not really looking
for investors
805
00:38:15,259 --> 00:38:18,194
given the almost embarrassing
level of success I've attained.
806
00:38:18,262 --> 00:38:19,729
But I'll consider it.
807
00:38:19,797 --> 00:38:22,823
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get
some pictures for my Wall of Fame.
808
00:38:23,534 --> 00:38:26,401
Excuse me, Miss Hanley? Do you
mind if I snap a "You-ie"?
809
00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:27,596
It's what I call selfies
of other people.
810
00:38:27,672 --> 00:38:28,730
Sure.
811
00:38:29,940 --> 00:38:31,874
Can I get everyone's
attention, please?
812
00:38:32,009 --> 00:38:37,413
Our goal was to get 2,000 signatures
in support of the merger.
813
00:38:37,948 --> 00:38:43,284
We got almost 4,000 on the first night!
814
00:38:44,622 --> 00:38:46,852
Hey, everybody, let's
keep this party going!
815
00:38:46,924 --> 00:38:49,085
The next round of gnocchi
is on the house!
816
00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:55,727
You look sad, Knope.
817
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,430
Couldn't find any takers
for Chicago?
818
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:00,402
Everybody turned
me down but Larry.
819
00:39:00,705 --> 00:39:02,070
Ouch.
Yeah.
820
00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:03,329
Well, cheer up.
821
00:39:03,407 --> 00:39:07,138
You got a new job, new challenges,
all that crap you like.
822
00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:10,112
Man, I'm gonna miss Pawnee.
I wish I could stay.
823
00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:13,844
Keep an eye on it,
raise my kids here.
824
00:39:13,918 --> 00:39:15,818
And let's be honest,
am I ever gonna find
825
00:39:15,886 --> 00:39:17,717
a better breakfast
than JJ's Diner?
826
00:39:17,788 --> 00:39:18,812
You will not, no.
827
00:39:19,223 --> 00:39:20,747
I know it's not easy to leave
828
00:39:21,492 --> 00:39:23,790
but this job does seem perfect.
829
00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:27,564
Of course, I'd prefer you
use your talents elsewhere.
830
00:39:27,631 --> 00:39:29,462
With your courage
and small frame,
831
00:39:29,533 --> 00:39:31,296
you'd make
an excellent coal miner.
832
00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:32,961
Thank you, Ron.
That's very sweet.
833
00:39:33,304 --> 00:39:35,204
It's time for you to
move up in the world.
834
00:39:35,673 --> 00:39:37,641
Your ambition was
bound to take you away
835
00:39:37,708 --> 00:39:39,573
from the town you love
sooner or later.
836
00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:41,508
And you can't have
everything you want.
837
00:39:41,612 --> 00:39:42,977
Oh, my God.
838
00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:45,973
I can have everything
I want! Thank you!
839
00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:47,449
I feel like you're
not listening to me.
840
00:39:47,518 --> 00:39:51,010
And by the way, don't think that
we are not discussing Duke Silver.
841
00:39:51,522 --> 00:39:53,319
When were you going
to tell me about that?
842
00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:56,019
Unbelievable.
I am so furious at you.
843
00:39:56,093 --> 00:39:57,151
But I've already forgiven you
844
00:39:57,228 --> 00:39:59,924
and you need to teach me how to
play the saxophone. Okay, bye.
845
00:40:07,171 --> 00:40:08,695
Hi, Leslie, and everyone.
I'm Grant.
846
00:40:08,773 --> 00:40:09,899
No time for small talk!
847
00:40:09,974 --> 00:40:14,274
I think the best version of me
working as Midwest Regional Director
848
00:40:14,345 --> 00:40:16,006
is not in Chicago.
849
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:17,741
It's right here in Pawnee.
850
00:40:18,182 --> 00:40:19,206
How so?
851
00:40:19,283 --> 00:40:20,875
The financial savings here
are enormous.
852
00:40:20,951 --> 00:40:23,146
The cost of living
is way lower here,
853
00:40:23,220 --> 00:40:25,950
and renting the entire third
floor of this building
854
00:40:26,023 --> 00:40:28,685
would be way cheaper than a
much smaller space in Chicago.
855
00:40:28,993 --> 00:40:32,360
Pawnee is actually closer to most
of the parks in the Midwest region.
856
00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:35,224
And, it's got Tom's Bistro,
857
00:40:35,299 --> 00:40:37,460
an exciting, new-wave,
Italian eatery,
858
00:40:37,535 --> 00:40:40,060
that is equal parts Dean
Martin and Bruno Mars.
859
00:40:40,171 --> 00:40:41,832
But that is just what the
Indianapolis Star is saying.
860
00:40:41,906 --> 00:40:43,305
Let's see what
everyone else has to say.
861
00:40:43,374 --> 00:40:44,398
No, no.
862
00:40:44,475 --> 00:40:45,874
This is not what
we're doing right now.
863
00:40:45,943 --> 00:40:47,103
But congrats.
864
00:40:47,178 --> 00:40:49,510
Leslie should stay here. And
if you don't agree with us,
865
00:40:49,580 --> 00:40:51,548
it's nine against one and we can
make you disappear forever.
866
00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:52,639
What?
867
00:40:52,716 --> 00:40:54,206
I said we have free WiFi.
868
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:57,049
Look, Pawnee is a town
on the rise
869
00:40:57,121 --> 00:40:59,851
and National Parks could get
in on the ground floor.
870
00:40:59,924 --> 00:41:02,222
It's the best option.
Hands down.
871
00:41:03,527 --> 00:41:05,757
I'll run this up the flagpole.
872
00:41:06,430 --> 00:41:09,399
Also, can you bring
back Power Rangers?
873
00:41:10,100 --> 00:41:11,795
I don't know what it is you do,
874
00:41:11,869 --> 00:41:14,838
but you seem important
enough to get that done.
875
00:41:15,739 --> 00:41:18,333
Sometimes you have
to make the hardest climb
876
00:41:18,409 --> 00:41:20,343
to see the most
beautiful sunrise.
877
00:41:20,411 --> 00:41:22,845
I read that once on an old
lady's decorative pillow.
878
00:41:22,913 --> 00:41:24,710
But it is really
how I feel today.
879
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:27,616
I've climbed a very weird
and rocky mountain
880
00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:29,118
and it was a pain in the ass
881
00:41:29,186 --> 00:41:31,450
and my legs are tired
and I'm starving.
882
00:41:31,522 --> 00:41:33,649
But the sun is rising over a sea
883
00:41:33,724 --> 00:41:35,624
of love and waffles
and possibility.
884
00:41:35,693 --> 00:41:39,220
So I'm just gonna relax
and take a deep breath
885
00:41:40,431 --> 00:41:43,662
and enjoy this view for as
long as I possibly can.
886
00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:48,865
Call Ken and Rebecca
887
00:41:48,939 --> 00:41:52,102
and no statements to the press
unless I personally release them.
888
00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:53,370
We are on a media lockdown.
889
00:41:53,444 --> 00:41:55,776
Where is Ed
with the file? Ed!
890
00:41:57,448 --> 00:42:00,178
I'm sorry, Miss Knope.
I lost the file, it's gone.
891
00:42:00,251 --> 00:42:01,309
Ed, you're a nice guy,
892
00:42:01,385 --> 00:42:03,376
but you're the most incompetent
person I've ever worked with.
893
00:42:03,454 --> 00:42:05,354
And that includes Terry.
894
00:42:06,624 --> 00:42:08,819
Jeez.
Get it together, Terry.
895
00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,194
Clean out your desk.
You're fired.
896
00:42:11,262 --> 00:42:12,695
I understand.
Thank you for the literally
897
00:42:12,763 --> 00:42:14,594
hundreds of opportunities
you've given me.
898
00:42:14,665 --> 00:42:16,826
Goodbye, everyone!
It's been a great three years.
899
00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:17,993
Cancel my flight
to South Dakota.
900
00:42:18,068 --> 00:42:19,160
We'll do it next month.
901
00:42:19,236 --> 00:42:20,464
Babe, what's our play here?
902
00:42:20,538 --> 00:42:21,630
Everyone's waiting
downstairs in my office.
903
00:42:21,705 --> 00:42:23,138
Let's just go hear
what they have to say.
904
00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:24,333
Honey, tonight's your big night.
905
00:42:24,408 --> 00:42:25,432
Well, this is more important.
906
00:42:25,509 --> 00:42:26,533
Where are the kids?
907
00:42:26,610 --> 00:42:27,599
Right here.
908
00:42:27,678 --> 00:42:29,236
Hey, guys!
909
00:42:29,313 --> 00:42:31,304
Mommy and Daddy have
to do a little work
910
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:32,906
and you're going to
have a fun play-date
911
00:42:32,983 --> 00:42:34,974
with Uncle Andy and
Auntie April, okay?
912
00:42:35,085 --> 00:42:36,450
Let's go, munchkins.
I forgot.
913
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,420
Ben, how many bags of
marshmallows do I give them?
914
00:42:38,489 --> 00:42:40,889
None. Just let April
do everything.
915
00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:43,785
Oh, God, one day in
the distant future,
916
00:42:43,861 --> 00:42:46,193
things will be calm
and normal, right?
917
00:42:46,263 --> 00:42:48,527
Probably not.
But that's okay.
918
00:42:49,033 --> 00:42:51,058
You ready?
Not at all.
919
00:42:51,135 --> 00:42:53,626
But that's never
stopped us before.
920
00:42:56,500 --> 00:43:04,500
Ripped By mstoll