1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:03,499
ANDY: Whoa! Alcatraz!
2
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:05,335
Can't believe Michael Bay spent
3
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:07,032
a billion dollars
of his own money
4
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:08,300
to build that for The Rock.
5
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,276
I can't believe you were able
to recite that entire movie,
6
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,073
from memory, on the plane ride.
7
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,170
You weren't trying
to sleep, were you?
8
00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:16,841
I couldn't tell, 'cause you had
that mask thing over your eyes.
9
00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:19,146
This may be the craziest
week of my entire life.
10
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,881
I am six days away from the
start of the Unity Concert,
11
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,479
I am pregnant with triplets,
12
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:25,786
I am trying to decide
if I should take a job
13
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,258
that will move me
away from Pawnee,
14
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:30,660
and I am speaking at the National
Parks Conference in San Francisco.
15
00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:32,158
It is gonna be so much fun.
16
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,223
Michelle Obama is
the keynote speaker.
17
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,494
And you know what they say.
18
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:38,560
"What happens at
a National Parks Conference
19
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:42,973
"is compiled and emailed to you
in a PDF the following Monday."
20
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,009
We gotta find a way
to break in there.
21
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:46,968
They give tours.
22
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,036
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
23
00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:51,613
That's exactly how they'll be
expecting me to try to break in.
24
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Ripped By mstoll
25
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,336
TOM: My restaurant
opens in six weeks,
26
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,432
and I'm making sure I
get every detail right.
27
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:17,908
This is the hardest
28
00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:19,945
I've worked on anything since...
29
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,575
Wow. I've never
worked hard on anything.
30
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,083
What a cool life!
31
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,745
Looks like everything's
on track for July.
32
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,478
It's just too bad
we're not opening
33
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:30,989
in time for this Unity Concert.
34
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:34,191
The extra publicity would've
given us a nice boost.
35
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,518
Why don't we?
36
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:36,789
We could do a soft
opening tomorrow,
37
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,462
and be ready just in time
for the concert crowd.
38
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,256
You really think
you can pull that off?
39
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:43,564
Well, nobody can
predict the future.
40
00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,634
Except me.
I guarantee it'll work,
41
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:46,694
and in six months,
42
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:47,933
this place will be
bigger than McDonald's.
43
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,868
As always,
I love your enthusiasm.
44
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,872
See you tomorrow. Partner.
45
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,375
A soft opening tomorrow?
46
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,313
From now on,
everyone call me Kristen.
47
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,317
Because I am
wigging out right now!
48
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,653
Yeah, we're not even
close to being ready.
49
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:04,349
They're not even done painting that sign.
It says "Tom's bi."
50
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,516
Actually, no, that's good.
51
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:07,924
We're ready.
Mitch was right.
52
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,757
The amount of buzz we'd get
from opening next weekend
53
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,296
is too big to pass up.
54
00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:12,456
We can do it!
55
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:13,993
"This little Italian
restaurant will put
56
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,534
"McDonald's out of
business" on three.
57
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:16,830
One, two, three!
58
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:17,995
This little Italian restaurant
59
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,095
will put McDonald's
out of business!
60
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,730
...rise from hell fire!
61
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,900
(LESLIE SIGHS)
62
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,571
Lester Kanopf? Come on,
guys, get it together.
63
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:28,506
That's mine.
64
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:30,541
Sorry, Lester.
65
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,743
Yours is right here.
66
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:34,077
Grant! Hi!
67
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,246
Yeah, I saw you were
gonna be here,
68
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,152
and since you've
been ducking my calls,
69
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:38,520
I just thought that I'd drop in.
70
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:39,853
Care to join me for lunch?
71
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,015
I would...
72
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,220
Liam Bonneville's
gonna be there.
73
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:44,256
Liam Bonneville?
74
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,628
The Department of the
Interior's resident bad boy?
75
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:48,326
Well, now you've
got my attention.
76
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,460
Let me go grab my autograph
book and we'll head out.
77
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:53,766
BEN: Andy and I are meeting with
a tech company called Gryzzl.
78
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,900
Now, they're giving away free WiFi
to a few cities across America,
79
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:59,035
and we're going to
pitch Pawnee to them.
80
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,907
And what exactly does Gryzzl do?
81
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:03,705
(READING)
82
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,210
No idea.
83
00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,983
So, Gryzzl's
really taking off, huh?
84
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,682
Yeah. It's been
a crazy ride.
85
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,554
Our music service GryzzlDump
launched in November,
86
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,786
and now we have
170 million users.
87
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,688
Six months ago, I was
working in a taco truck.
88
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:21,165
Now, I own one-third of
the Portland Trailblazers.
89
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,971
So, you can just get your hair
cut in the lobby at Gryzzl, huh?
90
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,768
Uh, Gryzzl's a work collective.
91
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,569
Everyone just kind of
does whatever they want,
92
00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:32,475
and we just sort of
flow in that direction.
93
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,445
Do you think I could
cut somebody's hair?
94
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:36,441
If that's how you want to flow.
95
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,845
Andy?
Go get it.
96
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:39,941
(CHUCKLES)
97
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,487
I think Pawnee is
a great candidate
98
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,045
for your free
wireless initiative.
99
00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:46,751
We lead the country in
online pizza ordering.
100
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:50,818
In fact, a lot of people go to the
library just to order pizza online.
101
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,661
Right now, we're kind of
focused on bigger cities,
102
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,031
like, Shreveport, Akron.
103
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:57,501
Sure, obviously, we're no Akron.
104
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,901
I mean, we're more like Dayton.
105
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:02,972
But with your help,
we can become Toledo.
106
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:06,868
Ben, we don't like to
say the word "no"...
107
00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:07,935
No.
108
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,345
...at this company.
109
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,280
We feel it's
counter-productive
110
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:12,579
to our creative mission.
111
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,552
So instead, let me say,
112
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,283
"Nah, bro."
113
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,221
How is that better?
114
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,988
Check it out, guys, all done.
Only made, like, 12 mistakes.
115
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:25,922
Dwayne "The Rock" Swanson.
116
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,933
Donna told me I'd find you up here.
What's all this?
117
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:31,630
Over the last few months, I've
remodeled the entire third floor.
118
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,432
Wiring, heating and cooling,
119
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:36,475
restored this red pine
back to its original glory.
120
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:40,535
Oh, wow, the stripes
are so wavy. It's really...
121
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,807
All right, I can't keep
this facade up any longer.
122
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:42,870
I need a favor.
123
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,712
You know those chairs you were
making for my restaurant?
124
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:45,773
I need them now.
125
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:49,811
I was told I had until July.
My chairs take time.
126
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:53,325
Who do you think I am,
Thomas Hucker? (LAUGHS)
127
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:57,388
Please, Ron? I've never asked
you for anything today.
128
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,294
I just spent 10
weeks refurbishing
129
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:01,230
an entire floor
of this building.
130
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,702
And now you want me to drop everything
and furnish your restaurant?
131
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:05,760
Yeah.
132
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:06,862
Good.
133
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:09,635
I was worried I wouldn't have a
project after this was done.
134
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:10,801
I'll get to work right away.
135
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,868
Please, you're
really far behind.
136
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:16,480
Hello, everybody.
This is Leslie Knope.
137
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:17,538
Leslie, this is Rebecca...
138
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:18,606
Varuvian, yes.
139
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:21,119
Hello. I know who you are.
I've read all of your papers,
140
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,747
and, um, I had your poster
on my wall when I was a kid.
141
00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:25,923
What poster?
I made a poster of you
142
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,756
by blowing up your picture from
the National Parks newsletter.
143
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,352
I cut out your face
and made it look like
144
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,795
you were dunking
over Charles Barkley.
145
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,590
My God.
146
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:37,158
So you're the author of the famous
river clean-up proposal, huh?
147
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:38,964
It wasn't bad.
(LESLIE CHUCKLES)
148
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:41,370
Liam Bonneville
read my proposal. Wow.
149
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,069
Liam's being
withholding as usual.
150
00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:46,304
That proposal was
brilliantly written.
151
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,772
(SIGHS) Rebecca Varuvian. Yes?
152
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,073
Nothing.
153
00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:52,982
That was the best
lunch I ever had.
154
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:54,747
I have to see
the photos that you took.
155
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:55,879
I didn't take any photos.
156
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:57,786
What? Grant, come on!
157
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,655
Leslie, you're treating those
people like they're your heroes.
158
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:01,853
They could be your peers.
159
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,418
Look, I really
hope you take the job,
160
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,758
but we're at
the end of the line here.
161
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,298
I need a decision by tomorrow.
162
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,856
Okay, that's fair.
163
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,402
I mean, I would be
insane not to take the job.
164
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,701
But I'm just having some trouble
thinking about leaving Pawnee.
165
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,737
Hey, here's someone who may
be able to convince you.
166
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:17,503
Hello, Mrs. Obama.
167
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,044
Hey, Grant.
How you doing?
168
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,876
I'm doing good.
This is Leslie Knope.
169
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,506
She's considering a job with us
170
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,346
running the new
Midwest bureau in Chicago.
171
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,409
Well, you know how
I feel about Chicago.
172
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:29,648
Yeah. You are from Chicago,
so you like it!
173
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,450
That's right. And we
need passionate people,
174
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:34,220
like you, on our national parks.
175
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,194
You know they get hundreds of
millions of visitors each year.
176
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,289
Are you nodding
because you agree with me?
177
00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:40,696
LESLIE: Yes.
I do agree with you.
178
00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:42,432
I agree with you on all things.
179
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:45,130
Throughout history. Until
the end of time, forever.
180
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,262
You and Grant work together?
181
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,465
Yeah, we work together a lot.
182
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,565
He's helped me integrate
the Let's Move program
183
00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,576
into our National Parks,
you know?
184
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,976
Getting kids outside,
rock climbing, hiking.
185
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:55,604
Whoa! That's really,
really incredible!
186
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,444
Great work! I'm sorry
I'm talking so loud!
187
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,678
I'm getting louder and now I can't stop!
My apologies!
188
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,252
I don't know, I can't...
189
00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:04,789
Can I high-five you?
Yeah.
190
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,620
Well, I hope you take the job.
191
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,894
Change happens one
person at a time.
192
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:11,854
Good to meet you.
193
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:18,131
(SIGHS) Again, think it over.
194
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:21,668
(LAUGHING)
195
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,278
(EXHALES)
196
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,305
Okay.
This is a bad idea.
197
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:30,781
Just trust me.
198
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,277
You got your camera ready?
Yeah.
199
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:34,012
Andy,
I'm very nervous about this.
200
00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:35,314
You're gonna hurt yourself.
201
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:37,751
And here we go.
202
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,588
Wow!
203
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:47,121
Look at it go! I mean, I knew it
would go down, but not that fast!
204
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,462
San Francisco's the best.
205
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:51,625
Huh.
206
00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:53,365
I thought he was gonna be on it.
207
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,464
Yeah. Anyway,
it was amazing, babe.
208
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:59,307
Everyone was there, Rebecca
Varuvian, Liam Bonneville...
209
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,878
(SIGHS) I've decided.
I'm gonna take the job.
210
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,440
There's so much more
in the world to see,
211
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,314
and I feel like I can
really make a difference.
212
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:07,682
Oh, and I met Michelle Obama.
213
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,152
What? Why didn't
you lead with that?
214
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,350
I don't know! Liam Bonneville
has me in a tizzy!
215
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,893
Guys! It's totally broken!
216
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:18,760
We have 10 tables booked
for the soft opening.
217
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,322
It's all friends and family, so
hopefully they'll go easy on us.
218
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,368
How's it looking, Ron?
Maybe speed it up a little?
219
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:27,395
This is not government work. As such,
I treat it with care and attention.
220
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,532
Okay, but also, go faster.
221
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:31,339
I haven't had time
to hire a staff yet,
222
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,776
so April, you'll handle service.
223
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,575
No. Can't I just
stay in the back
224
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:37,707
and spit in people's
food like we planned?
225
00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:38,772
(SNEEZING)
226
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,786
The sawdust from Ron's
chairs is everywhere.
227
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,721
My sinuses are on the fritz,
and smell is 90% of taste!
228
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:45,848
Maybe 95!
229
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,222
Okay, Craig.
230
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:49,920
Donna's gonna be your wine taster.
You guys will work as a team.
231
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:54,222
Fine, but if he raises his
voice once, once, I'm out.
232
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,631
Please don't
stick to that policy.
233
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,191
I've got the menus.
234
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,703
Great.
(CHUCKLES)
235
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,266
Larry, what the hell?
What are these pictures?
236
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:04,241
Oh, geez, I must have given the
printer the wrong flash drive.
237
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,073
What is this,
a rotten grapefruit?
238
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,612
No, it's my dog's rectum.
239
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:12,107
Lord Sheldon has a growth, so we're
sending pictures over to the vet.
240
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:13,913
But I guess this isn't
good for menus, is it?
241
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,553
Larry? Larry.
Larry. Listen to me.
242
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:21,190
This is the worst
thing you've ever done.
243
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,985
I need you to take
all of these dog butt pictures
244
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,360
and burn them in the pizza oven.
245
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,633
April, you'll list all the
menu items from memory.
246
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,791
It'll be classier anyway.
247
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:31,369
Ron!
What was wrong with that one?
248
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:34,198
It was too perfect.
It looked machine-made.
249
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,598
(SIGHS)
250
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,802
Okay, we have to convince them
that Pawnee is a special city.
251
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,506
Ooh, we could tell them that
there's buried treasure in Pawnee,
252
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:44,915
and then, after they
give us the free WiFi,
253
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,384
we tell them that the
treasure was love all along.
254
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:48,477
No.
255
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,215
BEN: I am not gonna
take no for an answer.
256
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:53,349
If we're leaving Pawnee, I'm gonna
give them a going-away present,
257
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,519
free WiFi for all.
258
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,893
Every time someone in Pawnee
clicks through
259
00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:01,764
a slideshow of American Music
Award red carpet sideboob fails,
260
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:04,701
they'll say,
"Thank you, Ben Wyatt."
261
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:08,468
What the hell?
262
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,974
They're playing
Cones of Dunshire.
263
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,666
ANDY: Hey,
you invented that game.
264
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,636
Are they playing
any games I invented?
265
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,146
Are they throwing
dirt into a fan?
266
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:17,205
The key is, you have to throw the
dirt into the back of the fan.
267
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,443
How the hell do they...
268
00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:20,249
Excuse me.
269
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:22,579
How did you guys get
your hands on this game?
270
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,589
Someone sent it to us.
Have you played it?
271
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,352
I invented Cones of Dunshire.
272
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:28,859
You're The Architect?
Yeah, right.
273
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,987
And I'm the alchemist
of the Hinterlands.
274
00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:32,394
(ALL LAUGHING)
275
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,322
There can't be an alchemist
of the Hinterlands.
276
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,765
The Hinterlands
is a shadow kingdom
277
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:38,429
that can only sustain
a provost or a denier.
278
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:39,664
He's right.
279
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:42,264
Hey. How about this?
Let's play.
280
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:45,970
If I win, you give me another
shot at free wireless for Pawnee.
281
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,672
Have a seat.
282
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,614
You wanna be
corporal or warrior?
283
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:51,707
Neither.
284
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,213
I'm the maverick.
285
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:59,654
LESLIE: By using the Leslie Knope Seamless
Merger Super System, patent pending,
286
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:02,655
Pawnee and Eagleton,
and their parks departments,
287
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:05,561
will be fully integrated within
the next six to twelve months.
288
00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:06,620
(LAUGHING)
289
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,725
I know, I know. I think it was
a good presentation, too.
290
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,099
Is that why you're laughing?
291
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,762
Your timeline is way off.
292
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:17,342
I was in charge of the
Wesham-Southborough merger of 2004.
293
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,968
You know when it was completed?
294
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,069
Last month.
295
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,339
What?
How is that possible?
296
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:25,350
Merging governments requires
constant hands-on management.
297
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:28,181
You're being very cavalier
about the future of your town.
298
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:30,154
Excuse me. I've been accused
of a lot of things,
299
00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:31,951
but cavalier has
never been one of them.
300
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,423
I have a Super System.
301
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,187
I had a system, too.
302
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,760
But the economy went south.
303
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:41,289
My hometown hit some hard times
304
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:45,497
and was converted into
unincorporated territory.
305
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,369
You lost your cityhood?
306
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,702
If you wanna see this through,
307
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,174
you need eight to
10 years minimum.
308
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,837
Unless you wanna run the risk
of Pawnee becoming...
309
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,005
Don't say it!
310
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,447
...unincorporated territory.
311
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,117
That's a bold flavor.
Fruity. A little earthy.
312
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,680
Which is it?
Fruity or earthy?
313
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:08,056
It can't be both,
they're mutually exclusive!
314
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,819
Oh, no! You do not
come at me like that.
315
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,796
I'm sorry. I don't
know who I am anymore.
316
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:14,730
A man without
a palate isn't a man.
317
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:15,960
I love you, Donna.
318
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,227
What are you guys doing? There's
people waiting out there!
319
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,432
We're having a moment,
you monster!
320
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:22,496
(GRUNTING IN FRUSTRATION)
321
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,266
Stop hassling me.
322
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,971
Ron, you're amazing. You've
always been like a grandpa to me.
323
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:29,981
But can you please lower
your standards a tiny bit
324
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,677
so my customers
have somewhere to sit?
325
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:33,907
No.
326
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,109
(GLASS BREAKING)
LARRY: Oh.
327
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,650
I am so sorry, Tom.
328
00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:40,317
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but don't worry about it.
329
00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:41,654
Restaurant superstition,
330
00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:43,991
breaking a glass on the
first night is good luck.
331
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:45,627
(SIGHS) Thank God.
332
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,535
Oh, geez.
I'm so sorry.
333
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,062
(YELLS)
334
00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:57,339
Guess I have to start over.
335
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,741
Who wants to go
look for trees with me?
336
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:09,209
I play an action card to build a
Belltower inside your Citadel.
337
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:13,620
My shaman casts a Toyber spell
on your prosperity tile.
338
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:17,025
Looks like someone's
out of resource gems.
339
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,118
(ALL LAUGHING)
340
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:19,920
Uh-oh. (LAUGHS)
341
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:36,340
What's this?
342
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:39,407
I'm offering you a draw.
Right here, right now.
343
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:41,476
Why would I...
344
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,352
I'm winning, I have
all your resource gems.
345
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,282
This is your last chance.
346
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,623
Roll the dice.
347
00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:52,522
Gladly.
348
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:54,421
(DICE RATTLING)
349
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,667
I move my abbot
to the ocean hex,
350
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:02,536
which moves my brinksman
to the devil's lair,
351
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,771
and pushes my farmer,
yes, my humble farmer,
352
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,780
directly into the central cone.
353
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:14,848
(ANDY WHOOPING)
354
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:18,818
Yeah, man! We did it!
This whole company is ours!
355
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:20,324
Oh, no, it's not.
That's mine.
356
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:22,383
That's mine. It's all mine.
Andy?
357
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:24,962
For the record,
I did invent this game.
358
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,495
But it doesn't even matter,
because I won,
359
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:28,863
and I get
another chance to prove
360
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:31,664
that there is something
truly special about Pawnee.
361
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:34,672
Yes, there is. It's the
home of The Architect.
362
00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:36,632
Let's talk.
363
00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:40,103
Hey, man, I don't know what you're
up to, but get to my office.
364
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:41,339
We're cutting that hair.
365
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,544
Seems like things
are a little chaotic.
366
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,778
No, no.
Everything is perfect.
367
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,252
This is April. She's gonna be
taking care of you tonight.
368
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:50,948
Hello.
Welcome to Tom's Bistro.
369
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,786
Today we have spaghetti,
linguine, fettuccine,
370
00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:55,224
ravioli, rigatoni,
bucatini, lasagna.
371
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:56,551
Could you repeat that?
372
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,756
Spaghetti, linguine,
fettuccine, ravioli, rigatoni,
373
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:01,094
Ferrari, Lamborghini,
bucatini, lasagna.
374
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,027
Can I see a menu?
375
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,592
We had to throw our menus away
376
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:08,504
because they are covered with
pictures of Larry's dog's rectum.
377
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,042
Great news. Lord Sheldon's
gonna make it. Yeah.
378
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,941
We just have to apply
a salve to his anus
379
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:15,105
every hour for the rest of his life, but...
(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)
380
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:16,306
Oh! Enjoy your meal!
381
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:17,508
For crying out loud!
382
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,574
No! Mitch, don't leave.
Come on!
383
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,677
You have no idea how
to run a restaurant.
384
00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:25,215
I've been in this game before, and I
can see the cracks starting to form.
385
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:28,192
Sorry, kid. Consider my
investment terminated.
386
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,318
Dee, let's go.
387
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:31,953
Sir, were you
sitting in that chair?
388
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,293
Yes. Yes, I was. Why?
389
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,827
No reason.
390
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,296
Let's go.
391
00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:44,467
BEN: Apparently, and I don't know
how, but the game has spread.
392
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:48,070
I mean, it's all over the Internet.
Austin, Charlotte, San Diego.
393
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,274
I mean, people are playing
with my cones, babe.
394
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:51,441
That's great.
395
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,917
I'm just bummed I
never copyrighted it.
396
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:55,010
I'll look into that.
397
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,578
But at least because of it,
Pawnee will get free wireless
398
00:15:57,656 --> 00:16:00,284
and we can both move away
with a clear conscience.
399
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,526
Uh-oh. What's wrong?
400
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,497
I can't leave Pawnee
401
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:09,864
during a difficult merger
that I'm responsible for.
402
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:11,332
I have to turn down the job.
403
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,769
Leslie, no. You made up your mind.
Yesterday. You...
404
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:16,800
Michelle Obama!
405
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,900
I know! But I've been
doing this for months.
406
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,741
I wanna stay and go.
407
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,439
I mean, how far along
are we on human cloning?
408
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:26,450
Wasn't Dolly the sheep
like 20 years ago?
409
00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:29,316
It's like, "What the hell, scientists?
Get it together!"
410
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,151
Okay, coming up on Terminal 3.
411
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,917
No. Keep driving,
just loop around.
412
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,190
Listen, we are not getting out of
this cab until we make a decision.
413
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:38,820
Honey, we are gonna
miss our flight.
414
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:40,057
Then we miss our flight.
415
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:43,260
I'll tell Andy to fly home without
us and cancel our tickets,
416
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,166
but we are not
going back to Pawnee
417
00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:47,967
until we know we
are staying in Pawnee.
418
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,905
Just make a decision.
419
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,876
So, you screwed up a little.
420
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,847
You tried to shoot the moon
and you came up short.
421
00:16:56,915 --> 00:16:58,280
That doesn't mean it's over.
422
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,716
My main investor pulled out.
423
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:03,151
Any dollar I spend
from now on is my own.
424
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,554
And despite what my
pocket square says,
425
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,387
I'm not a billionaire.
426
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:10,322
So, I quit.
427
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:11,954
Just go home, Ron.
428
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,192
Not done with the chairs yet.
429
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:18,202
It is my belief that you never start
a job you don't intend to finish.
430
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:19,965
Really? I love quitting.
431
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,870
When I was a kid
and things didn't go my way,
432
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,931
I would just take
my ball and go home.
433
00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:26,534
That's better than winning, 'cause
then, your friends can't play anymore!
434
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:27,840
Hey!
435
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:29,073
No! My stemware!
436
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:31,082
You are not quitting.
437
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,708
I just called
a bunch of reviewers,
438
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:35,777
and I told them that the
soft opening went great,
439
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:37,754
and I invited them to
come here on Friday.
440
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,256
Why would you do this to me?
441
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:40,655
You worked really hard.
442
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,626
You owe it to yourself
to give it a real shot,
443
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:44,525
because you are
smart and talented.
444
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:49,027
Well, I hate doing work,
but I love being flattered,
445
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,199
so maybe I'll
give it another try.
446
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,965
Good.
That's a smart move, son.
447
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:54,027
Thanks, Ron.
448
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:57,266
Because you currently
owe me $16,000.
449
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:58,331
For the wood.
450
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:01,208
The labor was free,
but the wood was a bargain.
451
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,339
At $16,000.
452
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,212
You know,
it's none of my business,
453
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:09,049
but how can you not
take this big job?
454
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:11,112
I know, it's an amazing job.
455
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:12,748
But on the other hand,
it does seem like
456
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,020
you've put down some really
deep roots in your hometown.
457
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,562
Yeah, welcome to
the predicament, Horace.
458
00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:20,689
The town will be okay
without you if you leave.
459
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,164
So, what does your gut tell you?
460
00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:24,725
I'm never gonna
be able to decide.
461
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,930
I'm gonna be
paralyzed by hypotheticals
462
00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,870
until I die here,
in this mini van!
463
00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:30,966
At the San Francisco airport.
464
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,471
Wait a second.
I have an idea.
465
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:36,670
Drive here.
466
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,515
LESLIE: Where are we going?
467
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,580
It's right up here.
Just trust me.
468
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:48,625
Wait. I'm on Endor.
469
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,657
These are the redwoods
George Lucas used
470
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,892
to create
the forest moon of Endor.
471
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,231
Sorry, that's not why
we're here. Let's go.
472
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,703
Well, that is a gorgeous view.
473
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,404
Yes, it is.
474
00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,201
But don't look at that.
Look at this.
475
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,706
You've been thinking about
this job in the abstract.
476
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:13,745
Focus on what it actually means.
477
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:18,686
We're standing in a national
park that stretches 50 miles.
478
00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:21,123
That's The Presidio, over
there, it's a national park.
479
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,559
So is Alcatraz,
and so are the redwoods
480
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:24,857
we just walked through,
by the way.
481
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:29,999
You take this job, places like
this will be your office.
482
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:31,865
Well, that is
a compelling point.
483
00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:32,926
Okay, when we got
back from London,
484
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,031
you said that
it's a very big world
485
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,803
and you've seen
very little of it.
486
00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:39,844
This is your chance, honey.
487
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:41,841
This whole region,
488
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,940
Mount Rushmore,
the badlands, the Ozarks,
489
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,575
Abe Lincoln's childhood home,
490
00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:48,711
you would be in
charge of all of it.
491
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:52,956
Your job would be to preserve the
most beautiful places on Earth
492
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,789
so millions of people
could enjoy them.
493
00:19:55,861 --> 00:20:00,264
And those places, the greatest
treasures America has to offer,
494
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:04,962
will all have signs
with your name right there.
495
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:12,202
Hi, Grant. I want the job.
496
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:14,177
Uh, I have a lot of questions,
497
00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:16,908
but I'm a little amped up right
now, so I'll probably just hang up.
498
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:19,041
Might be for the best.
But anyway, I love you.
499
00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:20,516
No, I don't.
I'm sorry.
500
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:22,053
That was weird.
Okay, bye.
501
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,611
This is Lester Kanopf.
No, you know...
502
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:25,782
Okay. Bye.
503
00:20:25,857 --> 00:20:26,846
Smoothly handled, Lester.
504
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:27,914
Yeah. I panicked.
505
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,695
We should go. We have
a lot of stuff to do.
506
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,456
And the meter's still running
on that cab, so chop, chop.
507
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,433
Really? Oh.
Yeah.
508
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:41,670
Leslie, you wanted to see me?
509
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,571
Yeah, Larry. Have a seat.
510
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:46,408
Oh, geez.
Am I fired?
511
00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:48,673
I wish.
If only it were that easy.
512
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,374
LESLIE:
I have accepted a new job,
513
00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:52,712
and I need to start telling
everybody that I'm leaving.
514
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:53,978
It's gonna be very painful.
515
00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:57,317
So, I've decided to start with Larry.
As a practice run.
516
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,482
Because,
it doesn't need to go well.
517
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:02,288
Because, who cares?
Because, Larry.
518
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,192
Larry,
I have something to tell you.
519
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,760
I'm going...
520
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,995
But Leslie, no...
What...
521
00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:12,161
But, no...
(SOBBING)
522
00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,499
No. (SOBBING)
523
00:21:17,743 --> 00:21:19,802
What is going on?
524
00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:21,743
She wanted to fire me,
525
00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:23,838
but she realized
that she loved having me
526
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,883
around too much,
and she couldn't do it.
527
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,749
What? Larry,
that was not even close.
528
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:30,481
God,
just get out of here, please.
529
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,451
(BOTH SOBBING)
530
00:21:34,192 --> 00:21:35,750
APRIL:
Why didn't you fire Larry?
531
00:21:35,827 --> 00:21:37,294
I thought you were
going to fire him.
532
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:38,727
I'm sorry.
533
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:43,097
Opening of Tom's Bistro
was a disaster. So, what?
534
00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:46,433
This is America. And America's
the land of second chances.
535
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:50,965
And now we have one night,
one after-party,
536
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:55,479
to make the world realize that Tom's
Bistro is where miracles can happen!
537
00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:59,849
Thomas, I have to work all day
at the Unity Concert.
538
00:21:59,918 --> 00:22:02,079
If you're gonna pull this off,
we need more people!
539
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,678
I know,
and I didn't wanna do this,
540
00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:05,222
but I called in
some reinforcements.
541
00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:07,485
Did someone call
for a party zoo?
542
00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:10,960
(MEOWING)
(BARKING)
543
00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:13,463
(VOCALIZING)
(SNORTS)
544
00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:14,999
(LAUGHING)
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
545
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,365
Craig, this is my friend,
546
00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:19,666
Jean-Ralphio, and his
twin sister, Mona Lisa.
547
00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:21,365
All right,
so we got a four-way going
548
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,601
with my ex,
my brother, and this rando?
549
00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,905
Okay, if that's
where the night is going.
550
00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:27,740
It's 9:00 in the morning.
What?
551
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:29,212
It's not a four-way.
552
00:22:29,648 --> 00:22:31,479
And I need your help.
Ugh!
553
00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:34,212
And you both once
lied about me to your father,
554
00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:36,686
and basically caused the
downfall of my last business.
555
00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:38,222
So, you owe me a favor.
556
00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:40,349
I owe you a favor?
Oh, boy.
557
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:42,893
I stole $2,000 from you.
558
00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:44,895
I'm the person that
sneaks into your home
559
00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:46,863
every night, and eats your food.
560
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:49,196
Oh, so... Oh, right,
so I do owe you a favor.
561
00:22:49,267 --> 00:22:52,634
Man, I'm gonna help you out, okay?
And she's gonna help you, too.
562
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:54,729
Because you owe me a favor.
563
00:22:54,806 --> 00:22:57,001
You remember the time
you made me dress up as you,
564
00:22:57,075 --> 00:22:58,838
and go on a date with
one of your ex-boyfriends?
565
00:22:58,910 --> 00:23:01,936
And then the guy immediately
figured it out, and beat me up?
566
00:23:02,013 --> 00:23:03,139
Oh... Now you remember
that I got beat up.
567
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:04,204
Yeah.
568
00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:05,840
Who are these people?
They are awful,
569
00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:07,441
and horrifying, and I love them!
570
00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:09,214
Take these VIP invitations,
571
00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:11,221
find all the A-list
peeps at the concert,
572
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:13,154
and get them to
the restaurant tonight.
573
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,852
I gotta stop by
the Parks office.
574
00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:16,587
I'll meet you later.
God speed.
575
00:23:16,661 --> 00:23:18,060
I like your energy, hombre.
576
00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:19,791
What do you say
you and I ride go-karts later?
577
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:21,628
I wanna go horseback riding!
578
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,060
Deal.
579
00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:25,967
Last chance, Ron.
580
00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:28,670
The slots are finalized, but
I can squeeze in 10 minutes
581
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:32,369
if a certain Mr. Duke Silver
wanted to come out.
582
00:23:32,444 --> 00:23:34,275
Come on, Ron.
It's gonna be so fun.
583
00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:35,540
Thank you, Andrew.
584
00:23:35,614 --> 00:23:37,809
But fun or not, playing music is
585
00:23:37,883 --> 00:23:39,544
something I like
to keep private,
586
00:23:39,851 --> 00:23:41,978
along with my family,
my conversations,
587
00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:44,578
and my whereabouts at all times.
588
00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:45,917
LESLIE: Okay, everyone.
589
00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:49,427
Welcome to the very last Unity
Concert planning meeting.
590
00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:52,495
Andy, you are in charge, this is your show.
Take it away.
591
00:23:52,564 --> 00:23:55,465
Your mission, should you
choose to accept it,
592
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:58,928
is to accept
the following missions.
593
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:00,829
Madison.
Manning the art tents.
594
00:24:00,906 --> 00:24:01,964
Donna.
595
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,200
Scheduling and security liaison.
596
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,299
Larry.
597
00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:05,536
Staying out of the way.
598
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:07,574
And all of the rest of
the volunteer work assignments
599
00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:09,341
are up on this board.
600
00:24:09,414 --> 00:24:14,044
Your main goal today is to
get 2,000 people to sign up
601
00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:19,784
for the Pawnee-Eagleton Merger
Preservation Volunteer Action Squad.
602
00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:23,726
Their first project will be to come
up with a shorter name for the group.
603
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:27,629
You're right, the name is too long,
I was picturing bigger hats.
604
00:24:27,699 --> 00:24:30,634
All right, here we go.
Everybody, let's get to work!
605
00:24:30,702 --> 00:24:31,760
(ALL CHEERING)
606
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:35,466
Can the Parks and Rec people
hang back for a second?
607
00:24:38,877 --> 00:24:41,368
The story of these nuts is...
they're mixed.
608
00:24:41,446 --> 00:24:43,380
Mr. Hapley, hi.
My name's Craig Middlebrooks.
609
00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:44,437
I'm a huge fan!
610
00:24:44,549 --> 00:24:47,313
I work at Tom's Bistro, which
is a wonderful restaurant,
611
00:24:47,385 --> 00:24:49,216
and we need you to come to
a special party tonight,
612
00:24:49,287 --> 00:24:50,754
or it all goes down the toilet!
613
00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:53,552
Well,
will there be music, food...
614
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,183
And a location?
Yes.
615
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:57,421
Good, because in
this reporter's opinion,
616
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,487
it's not a party
unless there's music,
617
00:24:59,564 --> 00:25:00,553
food,
618
00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:01,724
and a location.
619
00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:06,429
Um, the reason I
wanted you guys to
620
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:08,336
stick around is,
I wanted to tell you
621
00:25:10,242 --> 00:25:12,039
that I love and admire you.
622
00:25:12,143 --> 00:25:13,235
Oh, Leslie, thank you!
623
00:25:13,311 --> 00:25:14,335
You say that every morning.
624
00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:18,778
A while ago, I was offered a job
at the National Parks Service.
625
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:22,781
And it's a great opportunity, but
it means that I'll have to move.
626
00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,947
To Illinois.
627
00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:26,217
And I took the job.
628
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,258
Good for you!
629
00:25:28,326 --> 00:25:30,055
ANDY: That's great!
RON: Congratulations, Knope.
630
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:33,422
The sentimental people in this
office will probably miss you.
631
00:25:33,498 --> 00:25:34,590
When do you leave?
632
00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:36,566
Soon. Maybe a month.
TOM: Oh...
633
00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:40,626
That makes what we're about to
show you a little bit awkward.
634
00:25:42,307 --> 00:25:44,172
TOM: We had a new Founder's
Day statue commissioned,
635
00:25:44,242 --> 00:25:46,802
and added your name to the
list of founders of Pawnee.
636
00:25:46,878 --> 00:25:49,642
Because you basically
founded this new town.
637
00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:52,740
"Leslie Knope, champion of
the Pawnee-Eagleton merger.
638
00:25:52,817 --> 00:25:55,945
"Our most faithful citizen.
She never abandoned us."
639
00:25:56,321 --> 00:25:58,050
Oh, boy.
There's a quote, too.
640
00:25:58,123 --> 00:26:01,581
"Only a moron would ever live
anywhere other than Pawnee, Indiana.
641
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:03,491
"Leslie Knope,
multiple occasions."
642
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:06,588
I can cut a new plinth with
a less ironic inscription.
643
00:26:06,665 --> 00:26:08,394
This is so touching, you guys.
644
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:12,097
I am crying out of happiness
and sadness and gratitude,
645
00:26:12,170 --> 00:26:13,694
and because I'm
carrying triplets,
646
00:26:13,772 --> 00:26:15,467
and for a fifth reason
that I can't figure out.
647
00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:17,667
Leslie, don't cry.
It's not that great.
648
00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:19,039
Doesn't even look like you.
649
00:26:19,110 --> 00:26:21,169
Or actually, you know what?
It kinda does.
650
00:26:21,846 --> 00:26:24,781
(CELL PHONE RINGING) Well, about that time.
Unity Concert!
651
00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:26,306
(ALL CHEERING)
652
00:26:32,624 --> 00:26:34,785
Hello, Pawnee,
we're The Decemberists.
653
00:26:34,926 --> 00:26:36,860
(CROWD CHEERING)
654
00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:40,564
It's great to be here
in support of this event.
655
00:26:40,632 --> 00:26:42,395
This is truly an amazing town.
656
00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:46,904
I ordered a small cheeseburger
and both the buns were pizzas.
657
00:26:47,272 --> 00:26:48,534
(CHEERING)
658
00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:49,699
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
659
00:27:06,324 --> 00:27:08,485
(SINGING)
660
00:27:12,097 --> 00:27:14,258
Hope I don't see this on eBay.
661
00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:15,390
There you go.
662
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:17,901
Victoria Secret
supermodel Karlie Kloss?
663
00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:18,958
Really? Where?
Wait a second.
664
00:27:19,037 --> 00:27:21,665
You're not Karlie, you're
my friend, Joan Callamezzo.
665
00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:24,573
They don't even allow me in
Victoria's Secret anymore.
666
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,008
Why?
Yeah.
667
00:27:26,077 --> 00:27:28,875
Joanie baby, I'm throwing a huge
party tonight at Tom's Bistro.
668
00:27:28,947 --> 00:27:29,971
You gots to stop by.
669
00:27:30,048 --> 00:27:31,037
You gots to stop by.
670
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,113
Will this medium
drink of water be there?
671
00:27:33,184 --> 00:27:36,517
The only reason I wouldn't be
there is if I got pulled over.
672
00:27:36,788 --> 00:27:41,054
(SINGING) For violating
my house arrest
673
00:27:41,559 --> 00:27:43,026
Ah, boosh!
What?
674
00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:45,221
Judge gave me two
ankle bracelets.
675
00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:47,696
Said it was the first time
he ever had to do that.
676
00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:51,065
Ja boy's a question
on the bar exam! Ya heard!
677
00:27:51,236 --> 00:27:52,362
(LAUGHING)
678
00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:55,929
Anyway. Tom's Bistro,
tonight. Be there.
679
00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:02,371
Don't.
Just let me talk... Mmm.
680
00:28:02,814 --> 00:28:04,679
Well, the relocation
package seems fair.
681
00:28:04,783 --> 00:28:07,047
But the dental plan
is more than fair.
682
00:28:07,118 --> 00:28:09,780
I mean, three annual cleanings
for the spouse? Ka-ching!
683
00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:11,481
Did someone say "dental plan"?
684
00:28:11,556 --> 00:28:12,648
(LAUGHING)
How's it going?
685
00:28:12,724 --> 00:28:15,124
Councilman Jeremy Jamm,
Jamm Orthodontics.
686
00:28:15,493 --> 00:28:18,291
Hey, I think we can all agree
this concert blows, right?
687
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:19,830
If you guys really
wanna see a crowd,
688
00:28:19,898 --> 00:28:21,263
you might wanna stop by my
689
00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:22,924
secession rally later tonight.
690
00:28:23,234 --> 00:28:25,099
That is gonna be off the hook.
691
00:28:25,403 --> 00:28:27,064
You ever heard of Warrant? Yeah.
692
00:28:27,138 --> 00:28:28,503
There's a cover band right here,
693
00:28:28,573 --> 00:28:30,006
that call themselves Cherry Pie.
694
00:28:30,108 --> 00:28:31,405
Pretty sure we got
their bass player.
695
00:28:31,843 --> 00:28:33,333
Oh, wow.
Gonna be pretty good.
696
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:36,903
(SINGING) Rock and roll
Yeah, poison
697
00:28:37,148 --> 00:28:38,240
What is that?
698
00:28:38,316 --> 00:28:40,079
Just general rock, man.
It's gonna be fun.
699
00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:43,678
She's my cherry pie
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
700
00:28:43,755 --> 00:28:44,881
That guy was a councilman?
701
00:28:44,956 --> 00:28:46,014
Crazy, right?
702
00:28:46,124 --> 00:28:47,614
Okay, let's talk staff.
703
00:28:47,992 --> 00:28:50,859
For the first few months, you're
only gonna have six staffers.
704
00:28:50,929 --> 00:28:52,556
Four of them will be
coming up from Omaha.
705
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:53,961
Oh, so, does that mean that
706
00:28:54,032 --> 00:28:55,624
there's two openings left?
Yeah.
707
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:59,261
Because I happen to know some of
the most dedicated civil servants,
708
00:28:59,337 --> 00:29:01,464
and greatest people to
ever walk the planet Earth.
709
00:29:01,539 --> 00:29:03,006
You can hire whoever you like.
710
00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:06,408
This is how I will soften the
emotional blow of me leaving,
711
00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:07,968
I will bring people with me.
712
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:10,511
But just two.
Who do I bring?
713
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:14,074
Oh, I know, I'll sacrifice
my spot for a third person.
714
00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:16,313
No, that's not
gonna work at all.
715
00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:18,617
Well, you gotta admit,
it was a very noble idea.
716
00:29:19,224 --> 00:29:22,250
(SINGING)
717
00:29:42,914 --> 00:29:44,643
(CROWD CHEERING)
718
00:29:46,885 --> 00:29:50,719
Ginuwine, it is an honor to be
breathing the same air as you.
719
00:29:50,855 --> 00:29:51,947
No joke.
720
00:29:52,023 --> 00:29:53,456
But real talk,
721
00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:54,890
we're both men about town
722
00:29:54,959 --> 00:29:57,484
being constantly bombarded
with party invitations.
723
00:29:57,562 --> 00:29:58,586
Who is this guy?
724
00:29:58,663 --> 00:30:00,255
My friend who's opening
a restaurant tonight,
725
00:30:00,331 --> 00:30:02,060
and you're going
to be there, cousin.
726
00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:03,595
Unless you want
me to get on stage
727
00:30:03,668 --> 00:30:05,829
and talk about how we used
to take baths together.
728
00:30:05,904 --> 00:30:08,498
How you cried whenever I took
away your rubber duckies.
729
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,803
Damn, Donna, why you gotta bring
the Quackson Five into this?
730
00:30:13,278 --> 00:30:14,438
GINUWINE: How y'all doing?
731
00:30:14,512 --> 00:30:15,672
(CROWD CHEERING)
732
00:30:15,747 --> 00:30:18,181
Lil' Sebastian,
this one is for you.
733
00:30:18,716 --> 00:30:22,174
Because you're my pony.
734
00:30:22,787 --> 00:30:24,345
(PLAYING RHYTHM
AND BLUES MUSIC)
735
00:30:27,058 --> 00:30:28,855
(SINGING)
736
00:30:40,305 --> 00:30:42,170
Ron, I have to
ask you something,
737
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,037
and I want you to
consider it, okay?
738
00:30:44,108 --> 00:30:45,166
Really consider it.
739
00:30:45,944 --> 00:30:50,108
How would you feel about leaving
Pawnee and moving to Chicago?
740
00:30:50,181 --> 00:30:51,614
(LAUGHS) Hold on. Come
on, I'm not done.
741
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,378
You'd be working for
the federal government.
742
00:30:53,484 --> 00:30:55,315
(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
743
00:30:55,386 --> 00:30:56,717
You know what?
Excuse me for wanting
744
00:30:56,788 --> 00:30:58,187
my dear friend
and ethical mentor
745
00:30:58,256 --> 00:31:00,349
to accompany me on
the adventure of a lifetime.
746
00:31:00,558 --> 00:31:02,321
It's very sweet, Leslie.
747
00:31:02,393 --> 00:31:04,418
And the National Parks
Service is probably
748
00:31:04,495 --> 00:31:07,191
the only branch of government
worth a damn.
749
00:31:07,265 --> 00:31:10,257
But Diane and I are quite happy
raising our family here.
750
00:31:10,635 --> 00:31:11,693
Now if you'll excuse me,
751
00:31:11,769 --> 00:31:13,259
there's a booth
over there serving
752
00:31:13,338 --> 00:31:15,704
something called
"fried sausage quilts,"
753
00:31:15,773 --> 00:31:17,968
so I'm going to buy the booth.
754
00:31:24,082 --> 00:31:26,243
(GUITAR PLAYING)
Freddy Spaghetti, hey!
755
00:31:26,317 --> 00:31:28,717
Andy Dwyer, or Johnny Karate,
I'm such a huge fan!
756
00:31:28,786 --> 00:31:29,980
Save it, jagwipe.
757
00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:31,954
I had this place on lockdown.
758
00:31:32,023 --> 00:31:34,685
I was rolling in cash
and lonely moms,
759
00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:37,990
and then you come out of nowhere,
and you blow up my spot.
760
00:31:38,062 --> 00:31:39,552
You're going down.
761
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:43,061
(LAUGHING) Hey, kids,
spaghetti time!
762
00:31:44,602 --> 00:31:46,365
All right, see ya.
763
00:31:46,771 --> 00:31:49,137
MAN: Clap your hands,
kids, it's Johnny Karate!
764
00:31:49,207 --> 00:31:50,504
(ALL CHEERING)
765
00:31:53,645 --> 00:31:56,614
Hello. I'm Johnny Karate.
766
00:31:56,681 --> 00:31:59,115
(ALL CHEERING)
767
00:31:59,884 --> 00:32:02,011
(SINGING)
Imaginary friends are cool
768
00:32:03,187 --> 00:32:06,247
Imaginary friends
take the fall for you
769
00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:08,255
Daddy, you should play music.
770
00:32:08,493 --> 00:32:11,257
Yeah, Ron. Go on, get up
there, have some fun.
771
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:14,861
I recalibrated the sights on all the
rifles in the shooting gallery.
772
00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:17,201
I've had enough fun for one day.
773
00:32:18,369 --> 00:32:21,065
(SNIFFING)
774
00:32:21,139 --> 00:32:22,970
Oh, I know that look.
Where is she?
775
00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:24,702
She's near.
Hide the children.
776
00:32:26,544 --> 00:32:29,445
Hello, Ron.
Hello, Ron's friend.
777
00:32:30,048 --> 00:32:31,208
Tammy.
778
00:32:31,282 --> 00:32:34,046
What could possibly bring you
to a children's performance?
779
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:36,484
Preparing a ritual
sacrifice of a newborn?
780
00:32:36,554 --> 00:32:39,079
No, just trolling
for some daddy.
781
00:32:39,157 --> 00:32:43,457
Sorry, I pronounced that wrong.
I'm trolling for some dad-dy.
782
00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:45,893
Diane, why don't you take the
girls for some ice cream
783
00:32:45,964 --> 00:32:49,092
while I dispose of this
sewer-dwelling gutter witch?
784
00:32:49,167 --> 00:32:51,397
Bye, Tammy.
Always a pleasure.
785
00:32:51,836 --> 00:32:53,428
She's cute.
786
00:32:53,504 --> 00:32:55,131
So, you wanna get out of here?
787
00:32:55,206 --> 00:32:57,231
Her very existence renders you
788
00:32:57,308 --> 00:32:59,242
a neutered bowl
of tasteless gel.
789
00:32:59,377 --> 00:33:01,937
(CHUCKLES) Find someone
else's life to ruin.
790
00:33:02,013 --> 00:33:03,503
You're not fooling me, Ron.
791
00:33:03,581 --> 00:33:07,745
This little domestic charade of
yours hasn't changed you one bit.
792
00:33:07,952 --> 00:33:10,921
You're still the same
old Ron Swanson.
793
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:12,820
And I will defeat you.
794
00:33:13,691 --> 00:33:15,659
I will defeat you
right into my pants.
795
00:33:15,727 --> 00:33:17,957
ANDY: Thank you.
Everybody go crazy!
796
00:33:18,129 --> 00:33:19,721
(CROWD CHEERING)
797
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:25,094
All right, thanks, guys. Remember.
Karate on bad guys only.
798
00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,466
Hey, man, you were
really great out there.
799
00:33:26,771 --> 00:33:28,295
Oh, hey! Burly!
How you doing, man?
800
00:33:28,373 --> 00:33:29,397
Pretty good, man.
801
00:33:29,474 --> 00:33:31,135
Remember my nephew, Jack?
He's a really big fan.
802
00:33:31,209 --> 00:33:33,336
Whoa. Hey, Jack.
Good to see you, bud.
803
00:33:33,611 --> 00:33:35,010
Hey, listen, man,
I'm really sorry
804
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:36,944
things ended so
weird with Mouse Rat.
805
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:39,449
That's not really how I pictured
us breaking up, you know?
806
00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:41,075
Yeah, I do know.
807
00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:42,915
I always figured we'd,
you know, whatever,
808
00:33:42,987 --> 00:33:44,682
break up because I got
drafted by the Colts.
809
00:33:45,156 --> 00:33:48,319
And then in the first game,
of course, I break my leg.
810
00:33:48,393 --> 00:33:50,054
The crowd starts
chanting my name,
811
00:33:50,128 --> 00:33:51,561
and I give them the thumbs up.
812
00:33:52,063 --> 00:33:53,963
And then I go to the hospital,
I get really good at chess,
813
00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:56,193
I end up beating
the computer finally.
814
00:33:56,267 --> 00:33:58,633
And then the band just
sort of drifts apart.
815
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,034
That was how I saw it, but...
Yeah.
816
00:34:00,772 --> 00:34:01,761
Take it easy.
817
00:34:01,839 --> 00:34:02,863
Yeah, see ya.
818
00:34:03,207 --> 00:34:04,606
Babe!
819
00:34:04,675 --> 00:34:07,109
That was so awesome. That was
the best performance ever.
820
00:34:07,178 --> 00:34:09,146
One kid peed his pants because
he didn't want to miss anything.
821
00:34:09,213 --> 00:34:10,544
What?
I gave a kid pee-pants?
822
00:34:10,615 --> 00:34:11,707
Yes!
823
00:34:11,783 --> 00:34:13,808
That's why I do what I do.
824
00:34:14,552 --> 00:34:15,576
What's wrong?
825
00:34:15,653 --> 00:34:18,781
I guess I just kind of miss having
people up on stage with me.
826
00:34:18,856 --> 00:34:20,289
They never tell you,
when you go solo,
827
00:34:20,358 --> 00:34:21,723
that it's just
gonna be you up there.
828
00:34:22,794 --> 00:34:26,093
Anyways, what do you say I
take you over to the ball pit,
829
00:34:26,631 --> 00:34:28,826
and we find your
cell phone I lost?
830
00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:30,227
Wait, what?
831
00:34:30,535 --> 00:34:32,366
(SINGING)
832
00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:01,728
I love you, Kay Hanley!
833
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:08,068
I hope you like
deep-dish pizza,
834
00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:10,266
because there's gonna be
a lot more of it in Chicago,
835
00:35:10,341 --> 00:35:12,206
where we're all gonna be moving.
836
00:35:13,377 --> 00:35:15,140
Okay.
No. No!
837
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,581
We are not moving to Chicago
for, like, a billion reasons.
838
00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:20,276
But, babe, pizza.
839
00:35:20,351 --> 00:35:21,545
There's pizza in Pawnee.
840
00:35:21,819 --> 00:35:23,514
Right. Thanks, babe.
841
00:35:23,588 --> 00:35:25,215
You're so good at
reminding me where pizza is.
842
00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:27,484
Come on, guys, take a risk!
843
00:35:27,558 --> 00:35:29,355
Live on the edge.
Life is an adventure.
844
00:35:29,427 --> 00:35:30,758
It is! Let's do it!
845
00:35:30,828 --> 00:35:32,159
No!
No.
846
00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:35,022
Pawnee is cheap
and we like it here,
847
00:35:35,099 --> 00:35:38,865
and Chicago seems like there's a
lot of stuff to do and people,
848
00:35:38,936 --> 00:35:40,961
but I like to do
nothing with no one.
849
00:35:41,038 --> 00:35:43,029
So, thank you and I love you,
850
00:35:43,107 --> 00:35:45,507
but no thank you,
and I hate you.
851
00:35:46,477 --> 00:35:48,035
More I love you.
852
00:35:49,113 --> 00:35:50,944
You know,
you owe me for that pizza.
853
00:35:53,885 --> 00:35:55,750
(SINGING)
854
00:36:13,371 --> 00:36:14,497
(CHEERING)
855
00:36:15,106 --> 00:36:16,767
Thank you, Pawnee!
856
00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:20,408
We have been
Bobby Knight Ranger!
857
00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,575
Yeah, and check this out,
Thursday night
858
00:36:23,648 --> 00:36:25,445
we're opening for
Steely Dan Quayle!
859
00:36:31,255 --> 00:36:35,351
Super cool to hear Sister Christian
that many times in a row!
860
00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:38,151
Now is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
861
00:36:38,229 --> 00:36:42,222
This next band agreed to
re-unite for one night only.
862
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:43,392
And it's gonna be great.
863
00:36:43,467 --> 00:36:46,197
I personally hope that
they play Summer Sun.
864
00:36:47,438 --> 00:36:49,235
We all know how it goes, right?
865
00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:52,536
(SINGING)
866
00:36:54,745 --> 00:36:57,407
Hey, Andy. Why don't you
let us play those, bud?
867
00:36:57,682 --> 00:37:03,416
Oh, yeah. Good point. Okay.
Without any further ado, Land Ho!
868
00:37:03,487 --> 00:37:04,647
(ALL CHEERING)
869
00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:10,483
Hello, Pawnee!
870
00:37:10,628 --> 00:37:12,027
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
871
00:37:16,434 --> 00:37:18,197
(SINGING)
872
00:37:45,696 --> 00:37:46,924
SINGER: Thank you, Pawnee!
873
00:37:47,031 --> 00:37:48,157
You miss the band?
874
00:37:48,733 --> 00:37:51,668
No, I mean, I love that
I'm Johnny Karate now.
875
00:37:53,070 --> 00:37:56,267
But being part of a band,
that's rock and roll, man.
876
00:37:56,741 --> 00:38:00,802
Joining us now for our finale,
legendary local band,
877
00:38:01,245 --> 00:38:02,803
please welcome Mouse Rat!
878
00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:05,739
You guys are closing
this sucker down!
879
00:38:10,921 --> 00:38:13,219
How about this Unity Concert,
huh, Pawnee?
880
00:38:13,391 --> 00:38:14,619
(ALL CHEERING)
881
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:21,864
I love this town so much and I'm
just so proud to live here.
882
00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:26,035
And we're gonna close
tonight out with a tribute
883
00:38:26,103 --> 00:38:28,367
to Pawnee's greatest treasure.
884
00:38:30,207 --> 00:38:32,539
(SINGING)
885
00:39:20,891 --> 00:39:24,258
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Duke Silver!
886
00:39:25,229 --> 00:39:26,787
(PLAYING SAXOPHONE)
887
00:40:27,191 --> 00:40:28,590
(ALL CHEERING)
888
00:40:33,798 --> 00:40:36,961
You know, Donna, I think
you would thrive in Chicago.
889
00:40:37,034 --> 00:40:38,797
The night life, the big city.
890
00:40:38,869 --> 00:40:41,235
I do owe Derrick Rose a brunch.
891
00:40:41,305 --> 00:40:44,672
But I like it here, plus, things
are getting serious with Joe.
892
00:40:44,742 --> 00:40:46,710
And if I'm gonna move
to any other city...
893
00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:48,210
I know, it's gonna be Seattle.
894
00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:51,715
No, Istanbul. Girl,
it's the Seattle of Eurasia.
895
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,613
It's hot!
All right, I'm gonna bounce.
896
00:40:53,684 --> 00:40:55,379
I'm gonna go to Tommy's party.
I'll see y'all there.
897
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:56,909
(SIGHS)
898
00:40:56,987 --> 00:40:58,477
Leslie, I know that
you're asking people
899
00:40:58,556 --> 00:41:00,387
to go with you,
and I just want to tell you,
900
00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:01,550
that you can count me in!
901
00:41:02,426 --> 00:41:03,893
Gayle and I have
been talking about
902
00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:05,087
our golden years
in the big city.
903
00:41:05,162 --> 00:41:07,130
This is perfect, the four of us
904
00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:09,098
in Chicago!
905
00:41:09,166 --> 00:41:10,724
Oh, my God!
906
00:41:10,801 --> 00:41:13,167
I gotta call her right now,
but, yeah! Chicago!
907
00:41:13,237 --> 00:41:14,966
Ben, this is a disaster.
908
00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:17,007
I thought of 20
different pairings
909
00:41:17,074 --> 00:41:18,302
of people that
might come with us.
910
00:41:18,375 --> 00:41:20,935
And none of them were
"Larry" and "no one."
911
00:41:21,011 --> 00:41:22,603
I don't know,
it sounds pretty good to me.
912
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:26,480
The windy city, me, my lady,
my boy Lar-bones...
913
00:41:27,418 --> 00:41:28,578
What? Larry's great.
914
00:41:28,652 --> 00:41:29,744
Have you lost your mind?
915
00:41:32,022 --> 00:41:34,354
Guys, this is the most
important night of my life.
916
00:41:34,425 --> 00:41:36,893
Which means it's the most important
night of your lives, too.
917
00:41:36,961 --> 00:41:37,950
Speak for yourself.
918
00:41:38,028 --> 00:41:40,292
I once got into a cab that Kyra
Sedgwick was getting out of!
919
00:41:40,364 --> 00:41:42,730
No way, the closer?
920
00:41:43,033 --> 00:41:44,898
It's opening night.
Let's do this!
921
00:41:45,102 --> 00:41:47,366
Hey, butt-weiners!
(CHUCKLING)
922
00:41:47,605 --> 00:41:50,005
(SINGING)
Look who I found
923
00:41:50,074 --> 00:41:51,371
Daddy!
924
00:41:51,442 --> 00:41:54,377
No! Your father ruined my last business.
Why would you bring him here?
925
00:41:54,778 --> 00:41:56,643
Mmm. Because you told
me to look for VIPs
926
00:41:56,714 --> 00:42:00,673
and my daddy is
the Vl-est PI know.
927
00:42:00,918 --> 00:42:01,976
I love you, Daddy.
928
00:42:02,052 --> 00:42:03,314
I love you, too, angel!
929
00:42:03,387 --> 00:42:04,513
Money, please!
930
00:42:05,956 --> 00:42:07,685
Money, please!
Money, money, money!
931
00:42:07,758 --> 00:42:08,747
Craig, grab a drink!
932
00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:10,156
Why would you come here,
Saperstein?
933
00:42:10,828 --> 00:42:14,025
I came here to see
your flourishing business.
934
00:42:14,098 --> 00:42:15,497
To see how well you're doing.
935
00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:18,028
Wow! You're packed!
936
00:42:18,235 --> 00:42:20,726
Can you squeeze me in,
or do I need a reservation?
937
00:42:20,804 --> 00:42:21,793
(LAUGHS)
938
00:42:21,906 --> 00:42:24,170
'Cause there's nobody here.
939
00:42:25,175 --> 00:42:27,405
Maybe this restaurant
won't be a huge success.
940
00:42:27,478 --> 00:42:29,912
Maybe it won't be
packed with celebrities.
941
00:42:29,980 --> 00:42:31,948
Tommy!
Or maybe it will!
942
00:42:32,016 --> 00:42:34,416
Hello, Joan! Hello, Perd.
Hi!
943
00:42:34,485 --> 00:42:36,112
Thanks for coming by.
944
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:37,548
Can I get you a drink?
945
00:42:37,621 --> 00:42:38,918
I'll have the "Joan."
946
00:42:38,989 --> 00:42:42,550
It's a tumbler of gin and it's got
crushed aspirin around the rim.
947
00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:44,960
And I would just
like an empty glass.
948
00:42:45,195 --> 00:42:47,891
Steve, can we get these cocktails
going for Joan and Perd?
949
00:42:47,965 --> 00:42:50,695
Oh, look! Kay Hanley, rock star.
Thanks for coming by!
950
00:42:50,768 --> 00:42:52,167
Thanks for having me.
951
00:42:52,236 --> 00:42:56,263
Come on in, guys. You might wanna
grab a seat, Dr. Saperstein.
952
00:42:56,507 --> 00:42:59,476
Looks like it's
getting a little crowded.
953
00:43:05,015 --> 00:43:08,178
And I said, "You don't need a towel.
You need a washcloth."
954
00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:09,514
(ALL LAUGHING)
955
00:43:12,556 --> 00:43:14,387
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
956
00:43:14,925 --> 00:43:18,292
I don't think that the girls have
ever been happier or more surprised
957
00:43:18,395 --> 00:43:20,522
than when you got
up on that stage.
958
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:23,123
Well, having you and
the kids in my life
959
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:24,724
has made me a different person.
960
00:43:25,402 --> 00:43:26,562
And I like it.
961
00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:30,198
There's more room
in my life for fun.
962
00:43:30,407 --> 00:43:31,396
(CHUCKLES)
963
00:43:31,976 --> 00:43:33,341
Speaking of which.
964
00:43:34,478 --> 00:43:36,878
How would you like
to have a little more fun?
965
00:43:39,416 --> 00:43:41,748
Another.
Make it a double.
966
00:43:42,353 --> 00:43:43,911
Oh, well, well, well, well.
967
00:43:44,021 --> 00:43:45,921
You know I had a
secession meeting tonight
968
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,322
and nobody was there because they
were all at that stupid concert.
969
00:43:48,392 --> 00:43:50,986
You and Knope totally
boned me on that.
970
00:43:51,061 --> 00:43:53,291
Betrayed by my two best
friends in the world.
971
00:43:53,364 --> 00:43:56,231
Not now, Jeremy. I am in
the middle of a situation.
972
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,996
My ex-wife, Tammy,
is right over there.
973
00:43:59,069 --> 00:44:01,162
She is sexually voracious,
974
00:44:01,238 --> 00:44:03,604
and she'll do anything
to make me jealous.
975
00:44:04,675 --> 00:44:06,540
Promise me you
won't sleep with her,
976
00:44:06,610 --> 00:44:10,011
even though it would be quite
easy, and certainly mind-blowing.
977
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:11,877
Yeah, sure, man,
you got it, no problem.
978
00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:15,275
I mean, dudes gotta stick
together, right? Right?
979
00:44:15,786 --> 00:44:18,755
Man, she is wearing
that dress, though.
980
00:44:18,889 --> 00:44:20,356
Oh! Mmm.
981
00:44:24,128 --> 00:44:25,322
Hi, Ben!
982
00:44:26,163 --> 00:44:28,154
It's me, Barney,
from the accounting firm.
983
00:44:28,232 --> 00:44:29,392
Yes, hi, Barney.
984
00:44:29,466 --> 00:44:31,457
You don't have to introduce
yourself every time.
985
00:44:31,568 --> 00:44:33,695
I was gonna wait until your
birthday to give this to you,
986
00:44:33,771 --> 00:44:35,762
but I'm just too excited.
987
00:44:36,473 --> 00:44:39,067
This is the copyright
to Cones of Dunshire.
988
00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:42,408
After you gave it to us as a
gift, we saw its potential,
989
00:44:42,479 --> 00:44:45,471
so we formed a "C" Corp and
registered it in your name!
990
00:44:45,549 --> 00:44:48,780
This is amazing.
How can I ever repay you?
991
00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:51,047
Come work for us at
the accounting firm?
992
00:44:51,789 --> 00:44:52,881
Okay.
993
00:44:53,057 --> 00:44:54,456
(EXCLAIMS)
994
00:44:54,525 --> 00:44:56,356
No, sorry, I can't.
995
00:44:56,827 --> 00:44:59,125
Wow. Shortest one yet.
996
00:44:59,930 --> 00:45:01,329
Thank you.
997
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,492
What's your name?
998
00:45:05,669 --> 00:45:06,693
Hey, You ready to do this?
999
00:45:07,137 --> 00:45:08,604
Let's grab a handle of amaretto,
1000
00:45:08,672 --> 00:45:10,572
head to the ladies' john,
and see what's what.
1001
00:45:10,641 --> 00:45:12,666
Tammy, I don't wanna fight you.
1002
00:45:12,743 --> 00:45:15,644
Or do whatever it is
that you're suggesting.
1003
00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:16,702
Oh, my God.
1004
00:45:16,780 --> 00:45:17,804
What?
1005
00:45:17,881 --> 00:45:19,178
That's Jeremy Jamm.
1006
00:45:19,249 --> 00:45:21,444
Ron's mortal enemy
and my former lover.
1007
00:45:22,019 --> 00:45:23,850
Ron hit the roof
when he found out.
1008
00:45:24,421 --> 00:45:26,321
Everything about
Jamm drives him crazy.
1009
00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:27,516
He's kind of cute.
1010
00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:31,488
I wonder if the carpet
is as curly as the drapes.
1011
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,556
Excuse me.
1012
00:45:35,299 --> 00:45:38,234
Babe, thank you so much for
organizing the Mouse Rat reunion.
1013
00:45:38,335 --> 00:45:40,929
It was actually Ginuwine
who arranged everything.
1014
00:45:41,772 --> 00:45:43,103
He really cares about you.
1015
00:45:43,173 --> 00:45:45,232
You're the greatest wife ever.
1016
00:45:45,309 --> 00:45:47,072
I wish I could marry
you all over again.
1017
00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:49,879
(GASPS) Let's get divorced. That
way we can get married again!
1018
00:45:49,947 --> 00:45:50,971
Yes! Let's do it.
1019
00:45:51,048 --> 00:45:52,140
You want to?
Yes!
1020
00:45:52,516 --> 00:45:54,416
We should do that, right?
Yeah, totally.
1021
00:45:54,485 --> 00:45:56,112
We're getting divorced!
Yes!
1022
00:45:56,987 --> 00:46:00,115
TOM: This is amazing! Practically
everyone we invited came.
1023
00:46:00,424 --> 00:46:02,289
Except for Liam Hemsworth
and Miley Cyrus.
1024
00:46:02,392 --> 00:46:04,758
I was hoping tonight would be magical
enough to get them back together.
1025
00:46:04,828 --> 00:46:07,194
Let it go, friend.
He's not good enough for her.
1026
00:46:07,264 --> 00:46:08,322
And vice-versa!
1027
00:46:09,233 --> 00:46:10,257
Thomas.
1028
00:46:10,434 --> 00:46:12,163
Yes, we don't get along.
1029
00:46:12,236 --> 00:46:15,967
But I look at you,
I see driven, I see smart,
1030
00:46:16,039 --> 00:46:19,998
and I just had the best Italian
meal I've ever had in my life.
1031
00:46:20,077 --> 00:46:22,272
And I've been to Dallas.
1032
00:46:23,046 --> 00:46:24,172
I'm in.
No way.
1033
00:46:24,248 --> 00:46:26,079
I'm not gonna let you take
another one of my businesses.
1034
00:46:26,150 --> 00:46:29,244
No, I'm in as a partner.
1035
00:46:29,319 --> 00:46:31,184
I'm always looking
for new investments.
1036
00:46:31,255 --> 00:46:33,689
I've got an auto dealership,
I've got a massage parlor,
1037
00:46:33,757 --> 00:46:36,453
a dry cleaning transactional
holding company
1038
00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:39,690
that is doing unbelievably
well, I might add.
1039
00:46:39,763 --> 00:46:40,787
What do you say?
1040
00:46:42,533 --> 00:46:43,557
You know what?
1041
00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:44,999
I'm not really
looking for investors
1042
00:46:45,068 --> 00:46:48,003
given the almost embarrassing
level of success I've attained.
1043
00:46:48,071 --> 00:46:49,538
But I'll consider it.
1044
00:46:49,606 --> 00:46:51,073
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to get
1045
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:52,631
some pictures for
my Wall of Fame.
1046
00:46:52,943 --> 00:46:56,208
Uh, excuse me, Miss Hanley? Do
you mind if I snap a "You-ie"?
1047
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:57,474
It's what I call
selfies of other people.
1048
00:46:57,548 --> 00:46:58,537
Sure.
1049
00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:01,684
Can I get everyone's
attention, please?
1050
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:07,223
Our goal was to get 2,000 signatures
in support of the merger.
1051
00:47:07,758 --> 00:47:13,094
We got almost 4,000 on the first night!
(ALL CHEERING)
1052
00:47:14,364 --> 00:47:16,525
Thank you all
for your hard work.
1053
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:20,036
You may have...
literally saved this town.
1054
00:47:20,103 --> 00:47:23,231
Now, back to the owner of
this amazing restaurant,
1055
00:47:23,307 --> 00:47:25,502
"Pawnee's most
eligible entrepreneur,
1056
00:47:25,642 --> 00:47:27,837
"the man who puts
the 'Bist' in 'Bistro,'
1057
00:47:27,911 --> 00:47:29,708
"He..."
"Card one of six."
1058
00:47:29,780 --> 00:47:32,476
Okay, I'm not reading this whole thing.
Mr. Tom Haverford!
1059
00:47:32,549 --> 00:47:35,211
Hey, everybody,
let's keep this party going!
1060
00:47:35,285 --> 00:47:37,014
The next round of
gnocchi is on the house!
1061
00:47:37,421 --> 00:47:38,683
(ALL CHEERING)
1062
00:47:44,027 --> 00:47:45,494
Are you crying?
1063
00:47:46,530 --> 00:47:48,589
They're just gonna
make each other so miserable.
1064
00:47:49,032 --> 00:47:52,126
(TAMMY MUTTERING)
1065
00:47:52,236 --> 00:47:53,225
Ah...
1066
00:47:54,204 --> 00:47:55,193
(GARGLING)
1067
00:47:58,141 --> 00:47:59,870
You look sad, Knope.
1068
00:48:00,344 --> 00:48:02,574
Couldn't find any
takers for Chicago?
1069
00:48:02,646 --> 00:48:04,546
Everybody turned
me down but Larry.
1070
00:48:04,848 --> 00:48:06,213
Ouch.
Yeah.
1071
00:48:06,483 --> 00:48:07,472
Well, cheer up.
1072
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:11,282
You got a new job, new challenges,
all that crap you like.
1073
00:48:11,355 --> 00:48:14,256
Man, I'm gonna miss Pawnee.
I wish I could stay.
1074
00:48:14,324 --> 00:48:17,987
Keep an eye on it,
raise my kids here.
1075
00:48:18,061 --> 00:48:19,961
And let's be honest,
am I ever gonna find
1076
00:48:20,030 --> 00:48:21,861
a better breakfast
than JJ's Diner?
1077
00:48:21,932 --> 00:48:22,956
You will not, no.
1078
00:48:23,367 --> 00:48:24,891
I know it's not easy to leave
1079
00:48:25,636 --> 00:48:27,934
but this job does seem perfect.
1080
00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:31,708
Of course, I'd prefer you
use your talents elsewhere.
1081
00:48:31,775 --> 00:48:33,606
With your courage
and small frame,
1082
00:48:33,677 --> 00:48:35,440
you'd make
an excellent coal miner.
1083
00:48:35,512 --> 00:48:37,104
Thank you, Ron.
That's very sweet.
1084
00:48:37,447 --> 00:48:39,347
It's time for you to
move up in the world.
1085
00:48:39,816 --> 00:48:41,716
Your ambition was
bound to take you away
1086
00:48:41,785 --> 00:48:43,719
from the town you love
sooner or later.
1087
00:48:43,787 --> 00:48:45,652
And you can't have
everything you want.
1088
00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:47,121
Oh, my God.
1089
00:48:47,491 --> 00:48:50,119
(CHUCKLING) I can have
everything I want! Thank you!
1090
00:48:50,193 --> 00:48:51,592
I feel like you're
not listening to me.
1091
00:48:51,662 --> 00:48:55,154
And by the way, don't think that
we are not discussing Duke Silver.
1092
00:48:55,666 --> 00:48:57,463
When were you going
to tell me about that?
1093
00:48:57,534 --> 00:49:00,162
Unbelievable.
I am so furious at you.
1094
00:49:00,237 --> 00:49:01,295
But I've already forgiven you
1095
00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:04,067
and you need to teach me how to
play the saxophone. Okay, bye.
1096
00:49:12,349 --> 00:49:13,873
Hi, Leslie, and everyone.
I'm Grant.
1097
00:49:13,951 --> 00:49:15,077
No time for small talk!
1098
00:49:15,152 --> 00:49:19,452
I think the best version of me
working as Midwest Regional Director
1099
00:49:19,523 --> 00:49:21,184
is not in Chicago.
1100
00:49:21,258 --> 00:49:22,919
It's right here in Pawnee.
1101
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:24,349
How so?
1102
00:49:24,428 --> 00:49:26,055
The financial savings
here are enormous.
1103
00:49:26,129 --> 00:49:28,324
The cost of living
is way lower here,
1104
00:49:28,398 --> 00:49:31,128
and renting the entire third
floor of this building
1105
00:49:31,201 --> 00:49:33,863
would be way cheaper than a
much smaller space in Chicago.
1106
00:49:34,171 --> 00:49:37,538
Pawnee is actually closer to most
of the parks in the Midwest region.
1107
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:40,402
And, it's got Tom's Bistro,
1108
00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:42,638
an exciting, new-wave,
Italian eatery,
1109
00:49:42,713 --> 00:49:45,238
that is equal parts Dean
Martin and Bruno Mars.
1110
00:49:45,349 --> 00:49:47,010
But that is just what the
Indianapolis Star is saying.
1111
00:49:47,084 --> 00:49:48,483
Let's see what
everyone else has to say.
1112
00:49:48,552 --> 00:49:51,043
No, no. This is not what
we're doing right now.
1113
00:49:51,121 --> 00:49:52,281
But congrats.
1114
00:49:52,356 --> 00:49:53,414
Leslie should stay here.
1115
00:49:53,490 --> 00:49:54,684
And if you don't agree with us,
1116
00:49:54,758 --> 00:49:56,726
it's nine against one and we can
make you disappear forever.
1117
00:49:56,793 --> 00:49:57,782
What?
1118
00:49:57,861 --> 00:49:59,385
I said we have free WiFi.
1119
00:49:59,463 --> 00:50:02,227
Look, Pawnee is
a town on the rise
1120
00:50:02,299 --> 00:50:05,029
and National Parks could get
in on the ground floor.
1121
00:50:05,102 --> 00:50:07,400
It's the best option.
Hands down.
1122
00:50:08,705 --> 00:50:10,935
Well, I'll run this up
the flagpole.
1123
00:50:11,608 --> 00:50:14,577
Also, can you bring
back Power Rangers?
1124
00:50:15,278 --> 00:50:16,973
I don't know what it is you do,
1125
00:50:17,047 --> 00:50:20,016
but you seem important enough
to get that done.
1126
00:50:20,884 --> 00:50:23,512
LESLIE: Sometimes you have
to make the hardest climb
1127
00:50:23,587 --> 00:50:25,521
to see the most
beautiful sunrise.
1128
00:50:25,589 --> 00:50:28,023
I read that once on an old
lady's decorative pillow.
1129
00:50:28,091 --> 00:50:29,888
But it is really
how I feel today.
1130
00:50:30,394 --> 00:50:32,794
I've climbed a very weird
and rocky mountain
1131
00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:36,629
and it was a pain in the ass and my
legs are tired and I'm starving.
1132
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:38,759
But the sun is rising over a sea
1133
00:50:38,835 --> 00:50:40,803
of love and waffles
and possibility.
1134
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:44,398
So I'm just gonna relax
and take a deep breath
1135
00:50:45,609 --> 00:50:48,840
and enjoy this view
for as long as I possibly can.
1136
00:50:52,416 --> 00:50:54,043
LESLIE: Call Ken and Rebecca
1137
00:50:54,117 --> 00:50:55,516
and no statements to the press
1138
00:50:55,585 --> 00:50:57,280
unless I personally
release them.
1139
00:50:57,354 --> 00:50:58,548
We are on a media lockdown.
1140
00:50:58,622 --> 00:51:00,954
Where is Ed with the file? Ed!
1141
00:51:02,626 --> 00:51:05,356
I'm sorry, Miss Knope.
I lost the file, it's gone.
1142
00:51:05,429 --> 00:51:06,487
Ed, you're a nice guy,
1143
00:51:06,563 --> 00:51:08,554
but you're the most incompetent
person I've ever worked with.
1144
00:51:08,632 --> 00:51:10,532
And that includes Terry.
1145
00:51:11,802 --> 00:51:13,997
Jeez. Get it together, Terry.
1146
00:51:14,438 --> 00:51:16,372
Clean out your desk.
You're fired.
1147
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:17,964
I understand.
Thank you for the literally
1148
00:51:18,041 --> 00:51:19,770
hundreds of opportunities
you've given me.
1149
00:51:19,843 --> 00:51:22,004
Goodbye, everyone!
It's been a great three years.
1150
00:51:22,079 --> 00:51:24,343
Cancel my flight to South Dakota.
We'll do it next month.
1151
00:51:24,414 --> 00:51:25,642
Babe, what's our play here?
1152
00:51:25,715 --> 00:51:26,807
Everyone's waiting
downstairs in my office.
1153
00:51:26,883 --> 00:51:28,316
Let's just go hear
what they have to say.
1154
00:51:28,385 --> 00:51:29,477
Honey, tonight's your big night.
1155
00:51:29,553 --> 00:51:30,611
Well, this is more important.
1156
00:51:30,687 --> 00:51:31,711
Where are the kids?
1157
00:51:31,788 --> 00:51:32,777
APRIL: Right here.
1158
00:51:32,856 --> 00:51:34,414
LESLIE: Hey, guys!
1159
00:51:34,491 --> 00:51:36,482
Mommy and Daddy have
to do a little work
1160
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:37,959
and you're going to
have a fun play-date
1161
00:51:38,028 --> 00:51:40,189
with Uncle Andy and
Auntie April, okay?
1162
00:51:40,263 --> 00:51:41,628
Let's go, munchkins.
I forgot.
1163
00:51:41,698 --> 00:51:43,598
Ben, how many bags of
marshmallows do I give them?
1164
00:51:43,667 --> 00:51:46,067
None. Just let April
do everything.
1165
00:51:46,403 --> 00:51:48,894
Oh, God, one day in
the distant future,
1166
00:51:48,972 --> 00:51:51,372
things will be calm
and normal, right?
1167
00:51:51,441 --> 00:51:53,705
Probably not.
But that's okay.
1168
00:51:54,211 --> 00:51:56,236
You ready?
Not at all.
1169
00:51:56,313 --> 00:51:58,804
But that's never
stopped us before.
1170
00:52:01,500 --> 00:52:09,500
Ripped By mstoll