1 00:00:05,019 --> 00:00:06,353 Oh, no. 2 00:00:10,191 --> 00:00:11,992 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:16,397 --> 00:00:18,365 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:21,068 --> 00:00:22,168 (Barney belches) 5 00:00:22,203 --> 00:00:24,037 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:24,071 --> 00:00:26,139 (yells) 7 00:00:30,311 --> 00:00:31,578 (beeping) 8 00:00:36,751 --> 00:00:38,852 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:39,887 --> 00:00:43,657 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:43,691 --> 00:00:44,858 (tires screeching) 11 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:47,827 D'oh! 12 00:00:47,862 --> 00:00:48,828 (tires screeching) 13 00:00:48,863 --> 00:00:50,063 (grunts) 14 00:00:50,097 --> 00:00:51,097 (yells) 15 00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:52,532 (grunts) 16 00:00:53,734 --> 00:00:55,535 (screams) 17 00:00:56,103 --> 00:00:58,104 (screaming) 18 00:01:00,608 --> 00:01:02,409 (chuckles) 19 00:01:08,616 --> 00:01:09,683 D'oh! Ooh! 20 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,587 (groans) 21 00:01:19,393 --> 00:01:20,827 (mouth groans) 22 00:01:23,898 --> 00:01:25,298 Ooh! 23 00:01:27,902 --> 00:01:29,235 (gasps) 24 00:01:32,873 --> 00:01:34,374 (belches) 25 00:01:35,276 --> 00:01:37,110 (heart beating) 26 00:01:41,749 --> 00:01:43,450 (squishing, blurping) 27 00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:47,687 Why, you little...! 28 00:01:47,722 --> 00:01:48,822 (Homer and Bart grunt) 29 00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:52,847 Season 25 Episode 19 -- What to Expect When Bart's Expecting -- 30 00:01:52,872 --> 00:01:57,872 Sync and Corrected by @elder_man www.addic7ed.com 31 00:02:04,038 --> 00:02:05,705 Huh...?! 32 00:02:07,842 --> 00:02:12,245 Eh, welcome fellow barkeeps, gin-slingers, and beer jerks. 33 00:02:12,279 --> 00:02:15,648 We are all here because drinkin' in our bars is down. 34 00:02:15,683 --> 00:02:18,985 Mom-and-pop bartenders can't compete with big box stores 35 00:02:19,019 --> 00:02:21,454 like Booze Barn and Hooch City. 36 00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,590 (bell dinging) 37 00:02:23,624 --> 00:02:25,191 (all clamoring) 38 00:02:25,226 --> 00:02:26,960 Uh, folks, this is the owner 39 00:02:26,994 --> 00:02:28,661 of the airport bar speaking. 40 00:02:28,696 --> 00:02:31,865 Uh, we're experiencing some financial turbulence. 41 00:02:31,899 --> 00:02:33,166 Uh, please remain calm. 42 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,768 Now let's watch this informational video 43 00:02:34,802 --> 00:02:38,204 that'll help save our business. 44 00:02:39,039 --> 00:02:40,373 Thanks, Cap. 45 00:02:40,408 --> 00:02:43,977 Now what I'm proposing is a superhero pub crawl. 46 00:02:44,011 --> 00:02:46,112 Our clientele dress up in costume 47 00:02:46,147 --> 00:02:47,881 and go drinking from bar to bar. 48 00:02:47,915 --> 00:02:51,317 Their masks make 'em feel uninhibited and invulnerable. 49 00:02:51,352 --> 00:02:53,353 (all murmuring positively) 50 00:02:53,387 --> 00:02:54,687 Yeah, and that's not all. 51 00:02:54,722 --> 00:02:56,556 Why don't you tell 'em about it, Moe? 52 00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:58,625 Yeah, you got it, Moe. 53 00:02:58,659 --> 00:03:01,227 We can make up superhero drink names and charge 'em double. 54 00:03:01,262 --> 00:03:03,029 Like, uh, Nick Fury, Agent of Schnapps; 55 00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:04,864 Sex in the Batmobile; 56 00:03:04,899 --> 00:03:06,032 and Wolveriskey. 57 00:03:06,066 --> 00:03:08,201 Here, check out my, uh, portfolium here. 58 00:03:14,375 --> 00:03:16,342 (all clamoring, cheering) 59 00:03:16,377 --> 00:03:18,978 Whoo! Yeah! 60 00:03:26,387 --> 00:03:28,688 Flame on! (belches) 61 00:03:28,722 --> 00:03:30,523 (gasps) Oh-God-oh-God-oh-God! 62 00:03:32,927 --> 00:03:34,627 I can't breathe! 63 00:03:34,662 --> 00:03:36,362 No, no, no! 64 00:03:36,397 --> 00:03:38,731 Why do they call this a yard of ale? 65 00:03:38,766 --> 00:03:40,166 Easy. After you drink one, 66 00:03:40,201 --> 00:03:41,901 you're passed out in your yard. 67 00:03:41,936 --> 00:03:43,169 Hmm. 68 00:03:58,085 --> 00:04:00,253 (drunkenly): Well, better get home. 69 00:04:00,287 --> 00:04:03,523 The delightfulness ended hours ago. 70 00:04:03,557 --> 00:04:06,059 Homer, the best thing for you to do 71 00:04:06,093 --> 00:04:08,928 in this situation is keep drinking. Heh. 72 00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:16,069 (Homer moaning) 73 00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:18,104 (groaning) 74 00:04:18,138 --> 00:04:20,240 (Otto laughs) 75 00:04:20,274 --> 00:04:23,543 Oh, why are you doing this to me, booze? 76 00:04:23,577 --> 00:04:26,246 I drank every kind of you! 77 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:27,647 See ya, Homer! Bye, Dad! 78 00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:29,883 Have a good day, you two! 79 00:04:29,917 --> 00:04:31,751 Don't be me! 80 00:04:38,225 --> 00:04:40,293 There's my dad! 81 00:04:41,729 --> 00:04:44,330 Wait, I think I just sucked up a dollar! 82 00:04:44,365 --> 00:04:45,865 (grunting) 83 00:04:46,934 --> 00:04:48,334 José, hit the switch! 84 00:04:48,369 --> 00:04:50,036 We are not all Josés, man. 85 00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:51,671 (other kids laugh) 86 00:04:55,910 --> 00:04:57,577 Oh! Art. 87 00:04:57,611 --> 00:04:59,579 Simpson! Smock up! 88 00:04:59,613 --> 00:05:01,381 Every time I do art, 89 00:05:01,415 --> 00:05:03,416 some do-gooder teacher sends it straight to a therapist. 90 00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:05,852 Your stuff is pretty disturbing. 91 00:05:05,886 --> 00:05:08,054 I've never acted on any of it. 92 00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:10,290 You will take art, you will enjoy art, 93 00:05:10,324 --> 00:05:13,626 and you will make something in a kiln your mother can use. 94 00:05:14,862 --> 00:05:17,230 Oh... (groans) 95 00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:22,101 Maggie! Why'd you do that? 96 00:05:24,838 --> 00:05:28,841 Oh, I just came in to take out the trash! 97 00:05:28,876 --> 00:05:31,444 And you shall leave immortal! 98 00:05:31,478 --> 00:05:33,346 Also, take out the trash. 99 00:05:34,315 --> 00:05:35,315 Honest! 100 00:05:35,349 --> 00:05:37,083 Inspiring! 101 00:05:37,117 --> 00:05:39,385 Yes... necessary! 102 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,988 Oh, Milhouse-ian! 103 00:05:42,022 --> 00:05:45,158 Oh, Bart, it's wonderful! 104 00:05:45,192 --> 00:05:46,726 Really? Wonderful? I just drowned 105 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:47,927 a grasshopper in paint 106 00:05:47,962 --> 00:05:49,996 and let him crawl on the paper till he died. 107 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,264 You know what that's called? 108 00:05:51,298 --> 00:05:53,733 Mixed-media conceptual art. 109 00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,902 No, it's not, because I hate art. 110 00:05:55,936 --> 00:05:58,004 Oh, then it's protest art! 111 00:05:58,038 --> 00:05:59,739 Stop encouraging me! 112 00:05:59,773 --> 00:06:02,609 I will admire you from afar...! 113 00:06:02,643 --> 00:06:03,876 (exasperated grunt) 114 00:06:03,911 --> 00:06:05,678 (gasps) 115 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,783 Shauna? What are you doing here? 116 00:06:10,818 --> 00:06:13,252 Training for the Olympics. 117 00:06:13,287 --> 00:06:16,322 I gotta find a way to get rid of my art teacher. 118 00:06:16,357 --> 00:06:17,924 Easy. Voodoo. 119 00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:19,926 Is there a voodoo queen you can direct me to? 120 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,762 Oh, yeah. She lives in a trailer down by Yogurtland. 121 00:06:22,796 --> 00:06:23,763 Now kiss me. 122 00:06:23,797 --> 00:06:25,398 I wanna make somebody mad. 123 00:06:25,432 --> 00:06:26,633 (grunting) 124 00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:28,101 BART: What are you doing?! 125 00:06:28,135 --> 00:06:30,670 What's my no-good daughter up to now? 126 00:06:33,641 --> 00:06:36,809 Now u have everyt'ing you need for the voodoo. 127 00:06:36,844 --> 00:06:38,444 Would you like a bag? 128 00:06:38,479 --> 00:06:39,345 Yes, ma'am. 129 00:06:39,380 --> 00:06:42,081 Paper or plastic? 130 00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:43,683 Uh, plastic. 131 00:06:43,717 --> 00:06:46,586 Just like the chicken foot say you would! 132 00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:55,762 Okay, did you get Trunch's DNA? 133 00:06:55,796 --> 00:06:58,231 Yeah, got it out of her purse. 134 00:06:58,265 --> 00:06:59,632 (chuckles) 135 00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:00,767 How'd you do that? 136 00:07:00,801 --> 00:07:02,669 Art teachers don't have a desk. 137 00:07:02,703 --> 00:07:05,505 They just throw their purse anywhere. 138 00:07:06,340 --> 00:07:09,275 Voodoo spell, voodoo spell, 139 00:07:09,309 --> 00:07:11,811 seagull beak and bone of Mel, 140 00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:13,780 purple heart and tear of chum... 141 00:07:13,814 --> 00:07:14,814 (grunts) 142 00:07:15,849 --> 00:07:19,118 Just had to be tear of chum. 143 00:07:19,153 --> 00:07:22,588 Send her home with aching tum! 144 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,994 Oh, right, we need one more thing from her purse. 145 00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:29,595 I've got these. 146 00:07:29,630 --> 00:07:33,266 BART: Hmm, she's got tickets to the play God of Carnage. 147 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:34,534 Orchestra?! 148 00:07:34,568 --> 00:07:36,502 On an art teacher's salary? 149 00:07:36,537 --> 00:07:38,805 That's black magic! 150 00:07:38,839 --> 00:07:40,807 Where's Mrs. Trunch? 151 00:07:40,841 --> 00:07:42,775 I need to know the correct density of "points" 152 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:44,610 in my pointillism. 153 00:07:44,645 --> 00:07:47,580 Mm, sorry, but I don't think 154 00:07:47,614 --> 00:07:50,283 we'll be seeing much of Trunch today. 155 00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:52,118 Yep, I cast a voodoo spell on her. 156 00:07:52,152 --> 00:07:53,786 I won't bore you with the dark details, 157 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,923 but let's just say she's in no condition for teaching. 158 00:07:56,957 --> 00:07:57,924 (gasps) 159 00:07:57,958 --> 00:07:58,925 (disappointed): Oh... 160 00:07:58,959 --> 00:08:00,893 Class, I have an announcement. 161 00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:04,931 I'm afraid I can't teach today. I have a tummy ache. 162 00:08:04,965 --> 00:08:05,932 Mm... 163 00:08:05,966 --> 00:08:08,234 A very special tummy ache. 164 00:08:09,203 --> 00:08:11,337 I'm going to have a baby! 165 00:08:11,371 --> 00:08:12,505 (gasps) 166 00:08:12,539 --> 00:08:15,708 Aah! Bart Simpson got a teacher pregnant! 167 00:08:15,743 --> 00:08:17,710 (scoffing) Typical Ralph nonsense. 168 00:08:17,745 --> 00:08:18,711 (Milhouse panting) 169 00:08:18,746 --> 00:08:21,714 Bart Simpson got a teacher pregnant! 170 00:08:21,749 --> 00:08:25,351 You happy with your two-timing boyfriend now? 171 00:08:32,268 --> 00:08:34,936 I admit, I did make a voodoo doll of Mrs. Trunch. 172 00:08:34,970 --> 00:08:37,639 But I just asked for a stomachache, not a baby! 173 00:08:37,673 --> 00:08:40,675 Classic wish-maker's mistake: vague language. 174 00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:42,343 So I did make her pregnant? 175 00:08:42,378 --> 00:08:44,345 Of course not. Doesn't work that way. 176 00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:46,347 Just how do women get babies? 177 00:08:46,382 --> 00:08:48,716 I'm not allowed to discuss that with fourth-graders. 178 00:08:48,751 --> 00:08:50,685 Fifth grade, you get every dirty detail. 179 00:08:50,719 --> 00:08:53,087 Do you know how embarrassed I was 180 00:08:53,122 --> 00:08:55,323 to get a call at my arraignment 181 00:08:55,357 --> 00:08:57,158 for my behavior during the pub crawl 182 00:08:57,192 --> 00:08:58,626 because of a voodoo curse 183 00:08:58,661 --> 00:09:00,695 my son placed on his art teacher? 184 00:09:00,729 --> 00:09:02,630 I didn't mean to make her pregnant. 185 00:09:02,665 --> 00:09:04,365 I just hate art so much. 186 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,833 Oh, everyone does, son. 187 00:09:05,868 --> 00:09:07,802 That's why they lock it up in museums 188 00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:09,437 where no one will ever visit. 189 00:09:10,806 --> 00:09:14,108 So, uh, your boy's got magic knock-up powers, huh? 190 00:09:14,143 --> 00:09:16,177 Hey, I created three kids, 191 00:09:16,211 --> 00:09:18,313 and no one's making a big deal of that. 192 00:09:18,347 --> 00:09:20,481 Not true! Whenever I compliment your virility, 193 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:21,716 you act all weird. 194 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:24,052 And you are very virile. 195 00:09:24,086 --> 00:09:25,787 Uh, yeah. Just talk about sports! 196 00:09:25,821 --> 00:09:27,055 No problem. 197 00:09:27,089 --> 00:09:29,557 Wish I had that Tom Brady's libido. 198 00:09:29,591 --> 00:09:31,292 (shudders) 199 00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:34,028 Oh, it's amazing how many Cheerios Maggie drops 200 00:09:34,063 --> 00:09:35,797 in the back seat. 201 00:09:35,831 --> 00:09:37,665 Here you go. Put those in the trash, 202 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,702 then you can help me unload the dishwasher. 203 00:09:40,736 --> 00:09:43,638 Oh! A minute of fun, a lifetime of work. 204 00:09:43,672 --> 00:09:45,840 I've never heard of a pregnancy like this. 205 00:09:45,874 --> 00:09:46,975 There he is. 206 00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:48,309 Jenny, this is crazy. 207 00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:50,078 Nothing's crazy at this point. 208 00:09:50,112 --> 00:09:52,480 Are you the boy that makes babies? 209 00:09:52,514 --> 00:09:55,650 I like to think I'm the boy that makes families. 210 00:09:55,684 --> 00:09:57,318 You see, Jenny? He's just a jerk kid. 211 00:09:57,353 --> 00:09:59,620 It's just... (sobs) 212 00:09:59,655 --> 00:10:01,823 we've been trying so hard to start a family. 213 00:10:01,857 --> 00:10:04,492 With all the money we've spent on IVF.... 214 00:10:04,526 --> 00:10:06,794 (sobs) You have no idea! 215 00:10:06,829 --> 00:10:08,663 Hmm, maybe I can help. 216 00:10:08,697 --> 00:10:09,864 But it'll cost you. 217 00:10:09,898 --> 00:10:10,765 How much? 218 00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:11,833 Five dollars. 219 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:14,035 Plus one dollar haw-haw insurance. 220 00:10:14,069 --> 00:10:16,170 Trust me, the insurance is worth it. 221 00:10:18,874 --> 00:10:21,009 By the power of this place, 222 00:10:21,043 --> 00:10:22,877 make a baby with a face. 223 00:10:22,911 --> 00:10:23,911 That's great, really. 224 00:10:23,946 --> 00:10:25,313 Really glad we're getting a baby 225 00:10:25,347 --> 00:10:26,614 with a face. Thank you. 226 00:10:26,648 --> 00:10:28,449 (tires screech) 227 00:10:28,484 --> 00:10:29,650 Haw...! 228 00:10:29,685 --> 00:10:31,285 No haw-haw! It worked! 229 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,120 (groans) 230 00:10:32,154 --> 00:10:33,187 I'm pregnant! 231 00:10:33,222 --> 00:10:34,355 Look, Bart, I really, 232 00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:35,957 I can't believe there's a connection here. 233 00:10:35,991 --> 00:10:37,625 But, uh, we have some friends 234 00:10:37,659 --> 00:10:39,727 who are in the same dark place that we were. 235 00:10:39,762 --> 00:10:41,029 Can we give them your name? 236 00:10:41,063 --> 00:10:42,930 Only if they have five dollars. 237 00:10:42,965 --> 00:10:45,633 Yes, right. I'll make sure that they have five dollars. 238 00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:46,801 With them. 239 00:10:46,835 --> 00:10:48,236 Look, I'm sorry our check bounced, man. 240 00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:49,904 I can have the bank teller call you. 241 00:10:49,938 --> 00:10:53,041 Just give me the cash and you'll get your driver's license back. 242 00:10:53,075 --> 00:10:55,109 Please keep the chatter down 243 00:10:55,144 --> 00:10:57,979 while the Womb Wizard is casting his spells. 244 00:10:58,013 --> 00:11:00,314 Ones are appreciated, people. 245 00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:04,919 Barbeque sauce and teddy bear's eye. 246 00:11:04,953 --> 00:11:07,522 They want a baby, God knows why. 247 00:11:10,092 --> 00:11:11,993 Homie, I can't find my spatula. 248 00:11:12,027 --> 00:11:13,294 Can you get another one? 249 00:11:13,328 --> 00:11:15,730 Flanders, can we borrow your spatula? 250 00:11:15,764 --> 00:11:17,265 That was my spatula. 251 00:11:17,299 --> 00:11:19,233 And you never bought a replacement? 252 00:11:19,268 --> 00:11:20,701 Ah, too much aggravation. 253 00:11:20,736 --> 00:11:22,370 We just forego flipped food. 254 00:11:22,404 --> 00:11:23,404 D'oh! 255 00:11:23,439 --> 00:11:25,339 (grunts) 256 00:11:25,374 --> 00:11:26,407 Hmm. 257 00:11:26,442 --> 00:11:27,508 (humming a tune) Bart? 258 00:11:27,543 --> 00:11:28,876 Huh? 259 00:11:28,911 --> 00:11:30,378 Why, you little...! 260 00:11:30,412 --> 00:11:32,547 I'll teach you to answer peoples' prayers! 261 00:11:32,581 --> 00:11:34,582 (both grunting) 262 00:11:36,785 --> 00:11:39,120 Yeah, you know, I just don't think 263 00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:41,556 we're going to get in to see him today. 264 00:11:43,459 --> 00:11:45,793 What is your problem, boy? 265 00:11:45,828 --> 00:11:48,129 Maybe when I've got a dad who shows up in the morning 266 00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:50,598 with no shirt on and rocks on his face, 267 00:11:50,632 --> 00:11:53,101 it sets, I don't know, a low bar? 268 00:11:53,135 --> 00:11:55,069 Wow, I got to take that in. 269 00:11:55,104 --> 00:11:56,504 While I do, have some bar nuts. 270 00:11:56,538 --> 00:11:58,106 Aren't those full of germs? 271 00:11:58,140 --> 00:11:59,874 Eat the nuts! They're your dinner! 272 00:11:59,908 --> 00:12:01,909 (guns click) 273 00:12:01,944 --> 00:12:03,945 You guys are coming with us. 274 00:12:05,614 --> 00:12:07,615 Not so fast! 275 00:12:07,649 --> 00:12:11,586 Nobody comes into my bar and kidnaps two paying customers. 276 00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,621 Aw, thanks, Moe, I... 277 00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:14,722 Huh? 278 00:12:14,756 --> 00:12:16,657 I must've left my wallet at home. 279 00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:17,892 All right, take them, take them! 280 00:12:17,926 --> 00:12:18,893 Fill their pockets with corn 281 00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:20,261 and toss them to the pigs. 282 00:12:20,295 --> 00:12:22,597 Don't tell us our business! 283 00:12:23,565 --> 00:12:24,665 (sobs) 284 00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:32,707 Huh? Fat Tony? 285 00:12:32,741 --> 00:12:34,041 That's right... 286 00:12:34,076 --> 00:12:36,277 Fat Homer. Hey! 287 00:12:36,311 --> 00:12:38,946 I need your boy to make a baby. 288 00:12:40,315 --> 00:12:42,235 Do you really need the boy's help to make a baby? 289 00:12:42,251 --> 00:12:44,118 Just do a little of the bunga-bunga, 290 00:12:44,153 --> 00:12:45,920 and the hotsie-totsie, 291 00:12:45,954 --> 00:12:47,555 and the bop-bada- bop-bada-bop. 292 00:12:47,589 --> 00:12:50,992 You sound like every doctor I've ever been to. 293 00:12:51,026 --> 00:12:52,460 But it's not for me. 294 00:12:52,494 --> 00:12:54,195 It's for her. 295 00:12:54,229 --> 00:12:56,664 Meet my filly, Cheesesteak. 296 00:12:56,698 --> 00:12:58,566 The love of my life. 297 00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,634 (baby-talking, kissing) 298 00:12:59,668 --> 00:13:01,302 Who has apple breath? 299 00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:03,171 You has apple breath. 300 00:13:03,205 --> 00:13:04,272 (kissing, baby-talking) 301 00:13:06,475 --> 00:13:07,675 And this horse, 302 00:13:07,709 --> 00:13:09,443 who I have briefly "borrowed," 303 00:13:09,478 --> 00:13:12,046 is the winner of last year's Springfield Stakes-- 304 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,015 Rear Admiral. 305 00:13:14,049 --> 00:13:17,518 So work your magic, and breed me a champion. 306 00:13:17,553 --> 00:13:18,719 Look, Fat Tony, 307 00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:20,254 I don't know what you know about voodoo, 308 00:13:20,289 --> 00:13:22,056 but it only works on people. 309 00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:23,157 Horses? 310 00:13:23,192 --> 00:13:24,458 That's crazy talk! 311 00:13:24,493 --> 00:13:27,295 You will breed me a champion by morning 312 00:13:27,329 --> 00:13:30,698 or it will be the last sunrise you ever see. 313 00:13:30,732 --> 00:13:31,933 Don't over-promise, boss. 314 00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:33,534 It might be overcast. 315 00:13:33,569 --> 00:13:36,070 How'd you like a cast over your face? 316 00:13:36,104 --> 00:13:39,340 Well, as long as there re breath holes. 317 00:13:39,374 --> 00:13:41,609 You know, I'm just saying. 318 00:13:42,744 --> 00:13:44,312 Okay, boy, if there ever was 319 00:13:44,346 --> 00:13:45,947 a good time for you to find out 320 00:13:45,981 --> 00:13:47,014 where babies come from 321 00:13:47,049 --> 00:13:48,649 in the grossest way possible, 322 00:13:48,684 --> 00:13:49,850 with your life on the line, 323 00:13:49,885 --> 00:13:51,018 this is it. 324 00:13:51,053 --> 00:13:52,787 One more thing: 325 00:13:52,821 --> 00:13:54,822 It better be a boy. 326 00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:56,924 (scoffs) Anything else? 327 00:13:56,959 --> 00:13:58,859 It would be helpful if he could go undercover 328 00:13:58,894 --> 00:14:01,762 with police horses and find out what they know. 329 00:14:08,006 --> 00:14:10,307 (crickets trilling) 330 00:14:10,341 --> 00:14:12,042 Hey, this is all your fault. 331 00:14:12,077 --> 00:14:13,444 How is it my fault? 332 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,879 I wouldn't be here if you were more of a role model. 333 00:14:15,914 --> 00:14:18,882 Pub crawls, naked Frisbee golf... 334 00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:22,886 I just did that because it was a series of funny words. 335 00:14:22,921 --> 00:14:24,455 Well, it's your mediocre fathering 336 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,723 that put me on the path to hell! 337 00:14:26,758 --> 00:14:27,724 Wha...? 338 00:14:27,759 --> 00:14:28,959 Maybe you're right, boy. 339 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,694 It's time I was a better father. 340 00:14:30,728 --> 00:14:32,796 And I'll start by saving us. 341 00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,631 I just need to facilitate 342 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,066 some horse intercourse. 343 00:14:36,101 --> 00:14:37,901 Come on, buddy. 344 00:14:37,936 --> 00:14:39,837 Just make a champion thoroughbred, 345 00:14:39,871 --> 00:14:41,271 and we're out of here. 346 00:14:41,306 --> 00:14:43,907 (neighs) 347 00:14:43,942 --> 00:14:45,809 What's his problem? 348 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:48,145 ♪ It's raining men ♪ 349 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:51,248 ♪ Hallelujah, it's raining men ♪ 350 00:14:51,282 --> 00:14:53,250 (neighing) ♪ Amen ♪ 351 00:14:53,284 --> 00:14:55,319 ♪ I'm gonna go out ♪ 352 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,254 ♪ I'm gonna let myself get... ♪ 353 00:14:57,288 --> 00:14:58,689 (music stops) Hey, you know? 354 00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:01,091 I don't think this guy likes girls. 355 00:15:01,126 --> 00:15:02,292 (splutters) Big deal. 356 00:15:02,327 --> 00:15:03,760 I don't like girls, either. 357 00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:05,062 Not like that. 358 00:15:05,096 --> 00:15:06,096 It's like this. 359 00:15:06,131 --> 00:15:07,798 (indistinct whispering) 360 00:15:07,832 --> 00:15:09,666 Smithers... 361 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,768 Mr. Largo... 362 00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:13,437 Danny Kaye. 363 00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:15,005 What? Everyone knows. 364 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:17,774 (neighs) 365 00:15:17,809 --> 00:15:20,110 Now, where's she going? 366 00:15:20,145 --> 00:15:22,346 Hey, I know that horse! 367 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,380 It's Sudsley! 368 00:15:23,414 --> 00:15:24,848 Sudsley Brew-Right! 369 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,517 (neighs) 370 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,686 That horse was instrumental in me becoming a man. 371 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:35,692 ♪ It feels like the first time ♪ 372 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:39,129 ♪ It feels like the very first time ♪ 373 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:43,667 (neighing) ♪ It feels like the first time... ♪ 374 00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:50,340 (neighs) 375 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,314 Ew, that tastes horrible! 376 00:15:57,348 --> 00:15:59,783 Beer transformed that cute little boy 377 00:15:59,817 --> 00:16:02,986 into the man you see before you. 378 00:16:04,522 --> 00:16:05,556 Hmm. 379 00:16:06,224 --> 00:16:07,658 (neighs) 380 00:16:07,692 --> 00:16:09,593 Whoa! They like each other. 381 00:16:09,627 --> 00:16:12,696 You know, pregnant is pregnant. 382 00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:14,464 What a you talking about? 383 00:16:14,499 --> 00:16:15,566 We're not lost, boy. 384 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,634 Not by a long shot. 385 00:16:17,669 --> 00:16:20,637 We just have to set the mood. 386 00:16:20,672 --> 00:16:23,974 (gentle orchestral intro begins) 387 00:16:25,577 --> 00:16:28,879 ♪ Let them play ♪ 388 00:16:28,913 --> 00:16:29,980 ♪ We won't look ♪ 389 00:16:30,014 --> 00:16:32,316 ♪ We'll turn away ♪ 390 00:16:32,350 --> 00:16:34,251 ♪ Go make love ♪ 391 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,852 ♪ Then eat some hay ♪ 392 00:16:38,356 --> 00:16:40,524 ♪ We'll be dead ♪ 393 00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:44,194 ♪ Shot through the head ♪ 394 00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:46,530 ♪ Be that as it may ♪ 395 00:16:46,564 --> 00:16:51,201 ♪ Fat Tony's horse is gay ♪ 396 00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:53,937 ♪ I do not hear no banging ♪ 397 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:57,474 ♪ No sound of horseshoes clanging ♪ 398 00:16:57,508 --> 00:16:59,710 ♪ Roll in hay ♪ 399 00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:03,313 ♪ Or tomorrow we will pay ♪ 400 00:17:03,348 --> 00:17:05,215 ♪ I don't care ♪ 401 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,986 ♪ About tomorrow ♪ 402 00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,721 ♪ We need ♪ 403 00:17:10,755 --> 00:17:15,125 ♪ True horse love today ♪ 404 00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:20,964 ♪ Here's a blanket they can borrow ♪ 405 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:26,870 ♪ Let them rock the night away ♪ 406 00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:29,306 ♪ I don't really mind at all ♪ 407 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:33,477 ♪ But why must I go muck the stall? ♪ 408 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:36,713 ♪ Roll in hay ♪ 409 00:17:36,748 --> 00:17:39,316 ♪ Roll in hay... ♪ 410 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:43,353 ♪ Roll in hay! ♪ 411 00:17:50,461 --> 00:17:52,129 (bottle shatters) 412 00:17:52,163 --> 00:17:54,164 (grunts) 413 00:18:01,439 --> 00:18:03,307 (steady banging nearby) 414 00:18:03,341 --> 00:18:05,842 Ah, young love. 415 00:18:07,445 --> 00:18:11,081 So, where is the pregnancy test? 416 00:18:11,115 --> 00:18:13,617 Right here. 417 00:18:17,422 --> 00:18:18,588 What does it say? 418 00:18:18,623 --> 00:18:20,490 The Pimlico plus of joy? 419 00:18:20,525 --> 00:18:23,627 Or the Maryland State Fairgrounds minus? 420 00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,164 It's a plus! 421 00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:28,899 We're having a baby! 422 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,133 Hey, salute! 423 00:18:30,168 --> 00:18:32,769 I've never seen Johnny Tightlips so happy. 424 00:18:35,473 --> 00:18:37,708 Simpsons, you're free to go! 425 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,209 Louie, drive 'em home. 426 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,378 Cool, another limo ride! 427 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,046 The limo's in the shop. 428 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,281 We have a loaner. 429 00:18:44,315 --> 00:18:46,783 BART: Ay, caramba! 430 00:18:46,818 --> 00:18:48,085 You monster! 431 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:50,287 My knees will be in my throat! 432 00:18:50,321 --> 00:18:53,557 There's another way you can go. 433 00:18:55,059 --> 00:18:56,293 Dad? 434 00:18:56,327 --> 00:18:59,730 Cheesesteak, a little advice from a mother of three. 435 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:03,233 They'll turn out the same whether you gallop or trot. 436 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,001 Teach him not to pee during parades. 437 00:19:05,036 --> 00:19:06,570 He'll get more work. 438 00:19:07,572 --> 00:19:08,872 (neighing) 439 00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:14,111 Now that's what I call a modern family. 440 00:19:14,145 --> 00:19:16,146 ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ 441 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,115 ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ 442 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,250 ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ 443 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,886 ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ 444 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,054 ♪ Hey! ♪ 445 00:19:25,857 --> 00:19:27,858 (clamoring) 446 00:19:32,674 --> 00:19:36,209 The prosecution calls Sudsley Brew-Right! 447 00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:38,878 (gallery murmuring) 448 00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:40,713 Sudsley, on the night in question, 449 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,349 how many did you see the defendant kill? 450 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,252 (knocks seven times) 451 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:47,987 Seven in one night? 452 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,256 What kind of a monster could do that? 453 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,624 A party monster! 454 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,693 Drinking the new, convenient 455 00:19:53,727 --> 00:19:56,195 Duff Seven-Pack! 456 00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:59,198 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 457 00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:00,399 The Duff Seven-Pack-- 458 00:20:00,434 --> 00:20:02,268 one more for the road. 459 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:05,438 There's nothing symmetrical about flavor! 460 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,740 So get your seven pack today! 461 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:12,879 It looks wrong, but it is oh, so right! Oh, yeah! 462 00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:14,280 ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ 463 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:19,314 Captioning sponsored by 20TH CENTURY FOX TELEVISION and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 464 00:21:03,081 --> 00:21:05,016 Shh!