1
00:00:02,778 --> 00:00:03,911
(Gasps) Yes!
2
00:00:03,945 --> 00:00:06,547
I just got accepted into
an amazing acting class.
3
00:00:06,581 --> 00:00:09,483
Thank goodness, because the process
of getting in was totally draining.
4
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,885
Did you have to do a bunch of auditions?
5
00:00:10,919 --> 00:00:13,621
No, the tuition totally
drained my bank account.
6
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,756
Here you go.
7
00:00:15,791 --> 00:00:16,857
That'll be $10.
8
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,692
Uh, these aren't what I ordered.
9
00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:22,596
Well, we don't have "organic dragon
fruit, humanely harvested bee pollen,"
10
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:25,466
or "unpasteurized yak's
milk". So you get blueberry.
11
00:00:26,935 --> 00:00:29,870
Have you ever heard the expression,
"the customer is always right"?
12
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:32,840
Have you ever heard the
expression, "ticking off your server
13
00:00:32,874 --> 00:00:34,642
"is a one-way ticket to loogie town"?
14
00:00:35,544 --> 00:00:36,510
Keep the change.
15
00:00:37,813 --> 00:00:40,514
Hey, Zuri! How about a sweet smoothie
16
00:00:40,549 --> 00:00:41,949
from your smooth sweetie? (Chuckles)
17
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,885
You're not my sweetie, Stuart.
18
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,955
Just because I said I'd meet you in
the park doesn't mean we're a couple.
19
00:00:47,989 --> 00:00:50,758
(Stutters) I think you're reading
too much into this simple gesture.
20
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:55,763
Really? Then why does it say, "Mrs.
Stuart Wooten" on the side of my cup?
21
00:00:56,631 --> 00:00:59,667
Are you suggesting I take your
last name? How progressive.
22
00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:02,837
I once dated a guy who took my last name.
23
00:01:03,538 --> 00:01:05,706
And my first name. He
was an identity thief.
24
00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:09,543
Long story short, I put someone named
Marvin through beauty school in Colorado.
25
00:01:10,879 --> 00:01:13,881
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
26
00:01:13,915 --> 00:01:17,485
♪ hey Jessie, hey Jessie ♪
27
00:01:17,752 --> 00:01:21,555
♪ it feels like a party every day ♪
28
00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:24,859
♪ hey Jessie, hey Jessie ♪
29
00:01:24,893 --> 00:01:27,862
♪ but they keep on
pulling me every which way ♪
30
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,799
♪ hey Jessie, hey Jessie ♪
31
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:35,503
♪ my whole world is changing turning around ♪
32
00:01:35,537 --> 00:01:38,839
♪ they got me going crazy
yeah, they're shaking the ground ♪
33
00:01:38,874 --> 00:01:42,543
♪ but they took a chance
on the new girl in town ♪
34
00:01:42,911 --> 00:01:46,647
♪ and I don't want to
let them down, down, down ♪
35
00:01:46,681 --> 00:01:47,882
♪ hey Jessie ♪
36
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:50,951
♪ hey Jessie ♪
37
00:01:53,622 --> 00:01:56,924
♪ it feels like a party every day ♪
38
00:01:56,958 --> 00:02:00,828
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪
39
00:02:00,858 --> 00:02:04,858
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:10,437
Wow! The photos online make this place
look a lot less... haunted prison-ish.
41
00:02:10,472 --> 00:02:14,608
(Chuckles) It's so disgusting, I
saw a family of rats moving out.
42
00:02:14,643 --> 00:02:16,911
Seriously, they had little suitcases
made of cheese and everything.
43
00:02:16,945 --> 00:02:18,612
(Both laugh)
44
00:02:18,647 --> 00:02:19,680
I'm Jessie.
45
00:02:19,714 --> 00:02:20,915
Abbey. Nice to meet you.
46
00:02:21,616 --> 00:02:23,551
So, let me guess...
47
00:02:23,585 --> 00:02:24,818
You're a libra?
48
00:02:25,554 --> 00:02:26,654
Yeah! How did you know?
49
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,857
Well, you're obviously
artistic, and friendly...
50
00:02:29,891 --> 00:02:31,792
And your birth date is on
your emergency contact form.
51
00:02:33,728 --> 00:02:35,462
Psst! (Clears throat)
52
00:02:36,798 --> 00:02:42,670
Word on the street is, River Stevens,
our acting teacher, is a total weirdo.
53
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,708
So, how do you know so much
about him, random scruffy dude?
54
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:50,811
Because I am not a fellow student.
55
00:02:50,845 --> 00:02:52,913
Oh! Did you sneak in here without paying?
56
00:02:52,948 --> 00:02:54,648
Man, I wish I knew that was an option!
57
00:02:54,916 --> 00:02:57,718
I am Stevens, comma, River!
58
00:02:57,852 --> 00:03:02,656
And I will guide you
through the art of being.
59
00:03:03,925 --> 00:03:07,494
Someone should guide him
through the art of bathing.
60
00:03:08,697 --> 00:03:10,898
Bathing is for television actors.
61
00:03:10,932 --> 00:03:11,899
(Spits)
62
00:03:16,838 --> 00:03:18,872
(Dance music playing)
63
00:03:32,954 --> 00:03:36,690
So, am I in? Do I got the
moves like Jagger or what?
64
00:03:36,725 --> 00:03:37,758
Better!
65
00:03:37,792 --> 00:03:38,892
That guy's, like, 90.
66
00:03:40,695 --> 00:03:42,196
Welcome to the team, Shane!
67
00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:44,665
Our next performance is going to be
a benefit in the park this weekend.
68
00:03:44,699 --> 00:03:47,468
That sounds great. What's the worthy cause?
69
00:03:47,636 --> 00:03:50,638
I think it's to help homeless whales...
70
00:03:51,706 --> 00:03:52,940
Can't they just live in the ocean?
71
00:03:52,974 --> 00:03:54,742
You should bring that
up at the next meeting.
72
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,546
Oh, shopkeep!
73
00:04:00,915 --> 00:04:04,652
We will have one pomegranate
passion smoothie with two straws.
74
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:07,721
It's both romantic and sanitary. (Chuckles)
75
00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:13,861
Stuart, you gotta stop turning every
time we hang out into a romantic date.
76
00:04:13,895 --> 00:04:15,429
It's disturbing.
77
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:16,430
I know, right?
78
00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:19,767
Who would go there? That
would be a stupid place to go!
79
00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:26,573
Don't take it personally, I'm just
not looking for a guy right now.
80
00:04:28,543 --> 00:04:32,646
Whoa, look at that guy! Mama like!
81
00:04:36,751 --> 00:04:37,985
This is great.
82
00:04:38,019 --> 00:04:40,487
My horoscope said I was going
to make a new friend today.
83
00:04:40,522 --> 00:04:43,791
I'm just glad it's you and not that
lady in the park who was marrying a tree.
84
00:04:44,759 --> 00:04:47,461
Don't judge. You try dating
in New York for a few years,
85
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,829
see what you end up settling for. (Laughs)
86
00:04:49,564 --> 00:04:50,764
(Shrieks) (Growling)
87
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,803
Oh, don't worry, Abbey. Mrs. Kipling hasn't
tried to eat a guest in, like, a week.
88
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,138
I'm not scared.
89
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:03,577
I've just never seen an Asian
water monitor in person before!
90
00:05:03,611 --> 00:05:04,712
She's gorgeous!
91
00:05:05,547 --> 00:05:06,613
Compared to what?
92
00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:11,752
I will have you know, water monitors were
voted the second most attractive reptile
93
00:05:11,786 --> 00:05:13,487
in lizard lovers monthly.
94
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,857
Behind iguanas. Apparently, they
are the reptilian George Clooney.
95
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,594
I have a pet chameleon named Brando.
96
00:05:20,628 --> 00:05:22,896
He's brilliant! He can blend into anything.
97
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,898
Except camouflage, which is odd.
98
00:05:26,468 --> 00:05:29,737
It is so exciting to meet
a fellow lizard enthusiast!
99
00:05:29,771 --> 00:05:31,705
So, what does your little one like to eat?
100
00:05:31,906 --> 00:05:33,440
Cockroaches.
101
00:05:33,475 --> 00:05:35,542
Oh! Are cockroaches nutritious?
102
00:05:35,577 --> 00:05:38,445
I don't know, but they're free and
my apartment is crawling with them.
103
00:05:39,814 --> 00:05:41,915
Oh! Remind me never to wear
open-toed shoes at your place. Hmm.
104
00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:47,654
Okay, guys. Let's get warmed up
and then take it from the top.
105
00:05:47,689 --> 00:05:49,723
I know what'll get you warmed up.
106
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,593
A nice foot massage.
107
00:05:53,828 --> 00:05:56,864
You don't wanna do that. I
haven't changed my socks in a week.
108
00:05:57,665 --> 00:05:59,533
It's like a swamp down there.
109
00:06:00,602 --> 00:06:03,437
Well then, just call me bayou Betty!
110
00:06:04,806 --> 00:06:07,407
(Chuckles nervously)
Excuse us for a second.
111
00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:09,743
Zuri.
112
00:06:09,778 --> 00:06:11,745
We really need to focus here.
113
00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:14,848
Oh, I'm focused. You can believe that.
114
00:06:17,886 --> 00:06:20,754
Give me a wheatgrass shot
and keep 'em coming, sister.
115
00:06:21,723 --> 00:06:23,423
I am down in the dumps.
116
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:26,560
If you're looking to avoid the
dumps, I do not recommend wheatgrass.
117
00:06:27,829 --> 00:06:30,430
Girl troubles? It's Zuri.
118
00:06:30,465 --> 00:06:32,599
It appears there's nothing
I can do to get her to become
119
00:06:32,634 --> 00:06:35,469
enamored of my winsome,
bespectacled visage.
120
00:06:35,804 --> 00:06:40,541
I am so sorry. I think. I'm
actually not sure what that meant.
121
00:06:40,909 --> 00:06:44,545
It means she likes that
dancing dimwit more than me.
122
00:06:44,579 --> 00:06:45,712
Emma: (Sighs) Stuart.
123
00:06:45,747 --> 00:06:48,882
Zuri likes you. She just
doesn't like you, like you.
124
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:50,784
You're stuck in the friend zone.
125
00:06:50,819 --> 00:06:51,819
Is that bad?
126
00:06:51,853 --> 00:06:53,487
It's a loveless prison.
127
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:57,558
I just don't get what she sees in him.
128
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,760
Oh, Shane, your shoelace is untied.
129
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:00,928
Oh, thanks, bro.
130
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,697
I almost went from a break
dancer to a broken dancer.
131
00:07:03,731 --> 00:07:07,668
(Laughing) Broken dancer! That's hilarious!
132
00:07:07,702 --> 00:07:09,603
Where do you come up with this stuff?
133
00:07:10,738 --> 00:07:12,439
She seems to think he's funny.
134
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,607
Girls do like funny guys.
135
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:14,842
I can be funny.
136
00:07:14,876 --> 00:07:15,843
On purpose?
137
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,446
You'll see. I'm going to
go put on my comedy pants!
138
00:07:23,685 --> 00:07:25,519
Thanks for coming to
see me do my thing, Ravi.
139
00:07:25,553 --> 00:07:27,554
You've always been very
supportive of my career.
140
00:07:27,589 --> 00:07:30,757
Until you can report it to
the IRS, it is hardly a career.
141
00:07:31,926 --> 00:07:34,728
Uh... is Abbey around?
I have a book for her.
142
00:07:34,762 --> 00:07:36,830
Oh, Ravi, just because Abbey owns a lizard
143
00:07:36,865 --> 00:07:39,666
doesn't mean that she wants to sit
around all day reading about them.
144
00:07:39,901 --> 00:07:41,668
(Gasps) No way!
145
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,504
Is that a first edition
chameleons of Cameroon?
146
00:07:44,539 --> 00:07:46,707
I can't wait to sit around
all day reading this.
147
00:07:48,476 --> 00:07:49,576
I stand corrected.
148
00:07:51,145 --> 00:07:52,913
Ravi, we really need to get Brando and
Mrs. Kipling together for a playdate.
149
00:07:52,947 --> 00:07:55,582
That is a splendid idea!
150
00:07:55,617 --> 00:07:58,819
It would be great for Mrs. kipling to
have some friends of her own species.
151
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,455
Aw! That makes two of you.
152
00:08:03,458 --> 00:08:07,494
I have some exciting news for
you, aspiring screen artists!
153
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:08,829
You've discovered deodorant?
154
00:08:09,497 --> 00:08:10,831
Better.
155
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,468
I'm going to be in an independent
film, a portrait of sadness.
156
00:08:14,502 --> 00:08:19,439
It's a brilliant rumination on man's
fragile relationship with mortality.
157
00:08:19,474 --> 00:08:22,409
The director is looking
for his female lead.
158
00:08:22,443 --> 00:08:25,445
He has agreed to audition
some of my students.
159
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,881
Either of you would be perfect.
160
00:08:28,683 --> 00:08:30,817
If I get my dad on the phone,
would you repeat that to him?
161
00:08:31,786 --> 00:08:34,688
Now I urge you ladies to make bold,
162
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:38,425
out-of-the-box choices
with this character.
163
00:08:38,459 --> 00:08:41,862
For instance, in the film, I
will be portraying a dog Walker
164
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,631
with a deep, dark secret...
165
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,601
He's really a cat person.
166
00:08:49,938 --> 00:08:51,571
Okay. Good luck, artists!
167
00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:56,576
Wow, this is going to be awkward.
168
00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:57,778
We're both going up for the same role.
169
00:08:57,812 --> 00:09:00,814
I know. Okay, let's make a pact.
170
00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:04,451
We have to promise each other
that we will not let our careers
171
00:09:04,485 --> 00:09:05,752
get in the way of our friendship.
172
00:09:05,787 --> 00:09:08,522
Deal! I never let my career get
in the way of my personal life.
173
00:09:08,556 --> 00:09:12,693
Considering your last audition was 10 months
ago, it has not exactly been a struggle.
174
00:09:14,228 --> 00:09:17,564
You are making it really hard for me to
care about your next "big" chess match.
175
00:09:22,327 --> 00:09:24,094
Bertram, what are you doing?
176
00:09:24,129 --> 00:09:27,163
Just settling in for the night
with an American literary classic.
177
00:09:27,565 --> 00:09:30,167
"An illustrated history of boy bands"?
178
00:09:31,336 --> 00:09:34,138
It came with a free
coupon for skinny jeans.
179
00:09:36,107 --> 00:09:39,143
Well, I have a very
important guest coming over.
180
00:09:39,177 --> 00:09:42,179
So let me give you one direction. Get out.
181
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:45,149
Why should I?
182
00:09:45,183 --> 00:09:50,154
Because if you don't, I'll make you do
your job, and wait on us hand and foot.
183
00:09:50,421 --> 00:09:51,388
See ya! Have fun!
184
00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:56,226
This is gonna be a night to remember.
185
00:09:57,562 --> 00:09:59,163
(Orchestral music playing)
186
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:04,368
Wow... okay, this is just wrong.
187
00:10:05,837 --> 00:10:10,207
I know. There were supposed to be
doves, but they were all sold out.
188
00:10:10,408 --> 00:10:12,209
Stupid spring weddings.
189
00:10:13,244 --> 00:10:15,379
Hey, Zuri! Have you seen sha...
190
00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:17,214
Hey!
191
00:10:17,515 --> 00:10:20,350
What's, uh... what's going on here?
192
00:10:21,186 --> 00:10:22,419
This is not what it looks like!
193
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,522
It looks like Zuri tricked you into
coming out here, so she can have
194
00:10:25,557 --> 00:10:27,257
a romantic dinner with you.
195
00:10:27,492 --> 00:10:29,426
Oh. Then it's exactly what it looks like.
196
00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:34,565
I told you, Shane is
off-limits! Ooh, muffins!
197
00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:40,571
(Sighs)
198
00:10:41,506 --> 00:10:43,140
Hello, angel.
199
00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:45,509
Stuart, what are you doing here?
200
00:10:50,187 --> 00:10:51,388
I'm herefunny bone! Your...
201
00:10:53,424 --> 00:10:54,391
Really?
202
00:10:55,459 --> 00:10:57,460
Hang on, hang on, I'm getting a call.
203
00:10:57,495 --> 00:11:00,130
Let me answer it on my...
204
00:11:00,164 --> 00:11:01,364
Bluetooth!
205
00:11:04,568 --> 00:11:08,571
Keep it up with the prop comedy, and
that'll be the only tooth you have left.
206
00:11:10,307 --> 00:11:12,442
Oh! Oh, come on, don't be a...
207
00:11:12,476 --> 00:11:14,544
Party pooper!
208
00:11:18,382 --> 00:11:21,117
"Billy, "I need you to be strong.
209
00:11:22,253 --> 00:11:24,521
"Spot got out of the yard..." (Giggles)
210
00:11:25,289 --> 00:11:27,457
"...and ran into the street and...
211
00:11:27,491 --> 00:11:30,293
"That poor little guy never even
saw that monster truck coming."
212
00:11:30,327 --> 00:11:31,294
(Laughing)
213
00:11:32,396 --> 00:11:33,430
And scene.
214
00:11:35,199 --> 00:11:36,332
Jessie.
215
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:39,269
You do understand that the
truck crushed the dog, right?
216
00:11:39,503 --> 00:11:42,472
Right. Well, river said to make
(Mimicking) Out-of-the-box choices.
217
00:11:43,274 --> 00:11:44,340
So...
218
00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:47,277
My character, whenever she
has to deliver bad news,
219
00:11:47,311 --> 00:11:49,379
she just dissolves into laughter.
220
00:11:49,547 --> 00:11:51,347
Maybe it's her way of softening the blow.
221
00:11:52,283 --> 00:11:53,783
Jessie! Hmm?
222
00:11:53,818 --> 00:11:57,320
Do you know what happened to my Boyz
II Men limited edition collector plates?
223
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:01,124
Bertram, need you to be strong.
224
00:12:01,492 --> 00:12:04,260
(Giggling) I broke them this
morning, while I was cleaning.
225
00:12:04,295 --> 00:12:07,263
(Laughing) I know they meant a
lot to you and I'm really sorry.
226
00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:14,103
I should be mad, but your laughter really
seemed to soften the blow. (Chuckles)
227
00:12:17,141 --> 00:12:18,274
Oh, you're good.
228
00:12:21,312 --> 00:12:22,378
Guess what?
229
00:12:22,413 --> 00:12:24,481
Zuri hated my prop comedy.
230
00:12:25,182 --> 00:12:26,149
Shocking.
231
00:12:27,785 --> 00:12:31,354
Your problem is Zuri is totally crushing
on Shane because he's a great dancer.
232
00:12:31,589 --> 00:12:33,356
Too bad you can't compete with that.
233
00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:35,358
Or can I?
234
00:12:36,427 --> 00:12:38,495
Get it? Can? Eye?
235
00:12:40,431 --> 00:12:41,397
We're osed.
236
00:12:45,636 --> 00:12:49,272
Jessie, Abbey, let's see your
audition scenes for the movie.
237
00:12:49,306 --> 00:12:51,174
I dare you to wow me.
238
00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:54,611
You want a little more
time, Jessie? I can go first.
239
00:12:54,645 --> 00:12:57,280
Aw, thanks. That'll give
me more time to go over it.
240
00:12:57,314 --> 00:12:59,349
Then find a script that's not
covered in palm sweat. Yeah.
241
00:13:00,351 --> 00:13:01,451
Do it, Abbey!
242
00:13:01,485 --> 00:13:04,087
You are the greatest actress in this class!
243
00:13:05,489 --> 00:13:09,259
What? You made it very clear you
will never take me to lizard-con!
244
00:13:10,594 --> 00:13:14,264
Ravi, we've been over this, 12
people does not make a convention.
245
00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:17,200
"Billy,
246
00:13:17,401 --> 00:13:19,235
"I need you to be strong." (Giggles)
247
00:13:20,204 --> 00:13:22,505
"Spot got out of the yard..." (Giggles)
248
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,340
"...and he ran into the street...
249
00:13:25,843 --> 00:13:29,379
"Poor little guy never even saw that
monster truck coming." (Laughing)
250
00:13:29,413 --> 00:13:31,180
Brava!
251
00:13:32,149 --> 00:13:35,418
Abbey, what a brave choice, I am wowed.
252
00:13:38,255 --> 00:13:39,489
No. That was my choice!
253
00:13:40,457 --> 00:13:42,358
Where's a monster truck when you need one?
254
00:13:44,728 --> 00:13:48,598
Jessie, Abbey, here's the audition
schedule for this afternoon.
255
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:50,299
Break a leg!
256
00:13:50,601 --> 00:13:53,469
You know, I once broke
my own leg, on purpose,
257
00:13:53,504 --> 00:13:56,672
when I auditioned for the role of
a cage fighter in league of blood.
258
00:13:58,609 --> 00:14:00,543
So inspiring. Did you get the part?
259
00:14:00,577 --> 00:14:02,311
No. I couldn't walk.
260
00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:05,248
My leg was broken.
261
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:07,683
Okay, good luck, artists.
262
00:14:09,419 --> 00:14:12,688
Yeah, well, some people don't need luck
when they have treachery and deceit...
263
00:14:12,723 --> 00:14:14,690
And split ends. Yeah, I went there.
264
00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:20,263
Hey, I'm a gemini. Fyi, we're two-faced.
265
00:14:20,397 --> 00:14:22,698
Yeah, well, does either face remember
we said we wouldn't let our careers
266
00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:24,367
get in the way of our friendship?
267
00:14:24,401 --> 00:14:28,504
Sorry, Jessie. Clearly, it was written
in the stars that I get this part.
268
00:14:29,273 --> 00:14:31,474
Well, if you use my
character in that audition,
269
00:14:31,508 --> 00:14:34,443
it'll just show that you
don't have any character.
270
00:14:34,478 --> 00:14:35,511
(Chuckling)
271
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,281
That probably didn't hurt as
much as I thought it would.
272
00:14:39,416 --> 00:14:40,650
You have bad hair! (Chuckles)
273
00:14:44,288 --> 00:14:46,322
Thank you all for coming. Remember,
274
00:14:46,356 --> 00:14:49,358
all the proceeds go to
help save homeless whales.
275
00:14:51,295 --> 00:14:54,330
Actually, I found out it's to
rehabilitate injured rhinos.
276
00:14:54,364 --> 00:14:56,465
Wow. (Chuckles) I wasn't even close.
277
00:14:58,402 --> 00:14:59,669
(Dance music playing
278
00:15:33,303 --> 00:15:35,404
(all cheering and applauding)
279
00:15:37,574 --> 00:15:38,608
Hey, Shane!
280
00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:41,377
You and me, pal.
281
00:15:41,645 --> 00:15:42,712
It's go time!
282
00:15:44,748 --> 00:15:48,651
Who are you, and why are you
dressed like a hip-hop genie?
283
00:15:50,087 --> 00:15:55,391
I am here to slay you in a dance
battle, and win back my boo's heart.
284
00:15:55,525 --> 00:15:58,427
Stuart, I am not your boo.
285
00:15:58,462 --> 00:16:00,529
Also... boo!
286
00:16:01,531 --> 00:16:04,433
All ght, shazam, let's go.
287
00:16:05,302 --> 00:16:07,203
(Dance music playing)
288
00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:20,650
(All cheering and applauding)
289
00:16:22,552 --> 00:16:26,255
Okay, well, I hope you got
some padding in those pants,
290
00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:29,458
because I am about to kick your butt!
291
00:16:30,527 --> 00:16:31,627
(Dance music playing)
292
00:16:48,745 --> 00:16:51,380
In your... uh-oh...
293
00:16:53,450 --> 00:16:54,417
(Retching)
294
00:16:55,319 --> 00:16:56,485
Ugh! (Laughs)
295
00:16:57,287 --> 00:16:59,388
I actually enjoyed that
more than his dancing.
296
00:16:59,690 --> 00:17:01,190
(All laughing)
297
00:17:03,226 --> 00:17:05,394
No nibbling until the company gets here.
298
00:17:05,429 --> 00:17:07,396
And no nibbling the company.
299
00:17:07,698 --> 00:17:08,664
(Growls)
300
00:17:09,366 --> 00:17:10,366
Hey, Ravi.
301
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,335
Abbey, Brando! Welcome!
302
00:17:12,369 --> 00:17:14,637
Thanks for having us over,
even though things between
303
00:17:14,671 --> 00:17:16,639
Jessie and me are a little tense.
304
00:17:17,307 --> 00:17:19,642
Mrs. Kipling made me pinky
swear to keep our playdate.
305
00:17:19,676 --> 00:17:23,312
And by that, I mean, if I did not,
she swore she would bite off my pinky.
306
00:17:24,381 --> 00:17:28,484
Actually, I'm glad that Jessie's not here,
'cause I wanted to ask you a favor.
307
00:17:28,518 --> 00:17:30,319
Of course, you are my only...
308
00:17:30,554 --> 00:17:33,522
I mean, one of my many, many friends.
309
00:17:34,725 --> 00:17:36,525
And friends help each other, right?
310
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:37,526
I have read that.
311
00:17:38,261 --> 00:17:39,228
So...
312
00:17:40,764 --> 00:17:42,465
Do you think you could help me make
sure Jessie doesn't make that audition?
313
00:17:42,499 --> 00:17:45,334
(Gasps) You want me to knock off my nanny?
314
00:17:45,602 --> 00:17:47,069
No! No!
315
00:17:47,104 --> 00:17:50,406
I just wanted you to tell her the
audition has been pushed back a few hours.
316
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,274
But remind me never to cross you.
317
00:17:53,443 --> 00:17:56,412
But I love Jessie! I cannot sabotage her!
318
00:17:56,446 --> 00:18:00,449
Ravi, if I get this part,
my career will take off.
319
00:18:01,251 --> 00:18:03,185
And what about Jessie's career?
320
00:18:03,453 --> 00:18:04,420
Just think of it.
321
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:08,657
You, me, Kipling and Brando,
322
00:18:08,692 --> 00:18:13,662
slithering down the green, scaly
carpet together at lizard-con.
323
00:18:14,464 --> 00:18:18,234
Mmm, very well, I shall do it!
324
00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:20,669
I cannot wait to hear
the roar of the crowd.
325
00:18:20,704 --> 00:18:24,507
The last time I had people cheer for
me was when I quit the basketball team.
326
00:18:28,345 --> 00:18:30,613
Here you go, Stuart. You
should really hydrate.
327
00:18:30,647 --> 00:18:33,249
You lost a lot of fluids up there.
328
00:18:33,283 --> 00:18:35,251
And there, and over there.
329
00:18:38,388 --> 00:18:39,355
Stuart.
330
00:18:40,457 --> 00:18:42,691
I know this is difficult
for you, much like dancing..
331
00:18:44,327 --> 00:18:47,630
But Shane and I are a thing.
And you need to accept that.
332
00:18:48,465 --> 00:18:51,267
Whoa, slow your roll.
333
00:18:51,468 --> 00:18:52,568
You freak me out.
334
00:18:52,736 --> 00:18:54,703
What do you mean, snuggle-bug?
335
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,241
That is what I mean!
336
00:18:59,509 --> 00:19:02,311
You follow me around, you
tried to give me a foot massage,
337
00:19:02,345 --> 00:19:04,313
and then you sprung
that surprise date on me.
338
00:19:05,248 --> 00:19:06,215
Who does that?
339
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:10,319
Oh, no! Do you know what this means?
340
00:19:11,254 --> 00:19:12,221
I've become...
341
00:19:13,256 --> 00:19:14,256
Stuart.
342
00:19:15,258 --> 00:19:17,359
Is Stuart slang for stalker?
343
00:19:17,527 --> 00:19:18,494
Sort of.
344
00:19:20,263 --> 00:19:23,599
Listen, pal you just made the
biggest mistake of your life!
345
00:19:24,401 --> 00:19:28,204
Zuri is the sweetest, most
beautiful girl in the world.
346
00:19:29,372 --> 00:19:31,474
And maybe I am stuck in the friend zone,
347
00:19:31,508 --> 00:19:34,376
but I'm lucky to have her in
my life any way I can get her.
348
00:19:35,245 --> 00:19:37,513
Man, that was really beautiful.
349
00:19:37,547 --> 00:19:38,514
Hmm.
350
00:19:38,648 --> 00:19:40,549
And your breath reallytinks.
351
00:19:42,619 --> 00:19:45,621
Aw, Stuart. That was so sweet.
352
00:19:46,323 --> 00:19:48,257
I meant every word, my beloved.
353
00:19:48,391 --> 00:19:51,227
Okay, I'm getting out of
here before I throw up.
354
00:19:52,662 --> 00:19:56,365
You know what, Stuart, now that
I see what you've gone through,
355
00:19:56,566 --> 00:20:00,669
I think I owe you an apology.
And I have something for you.
356
00:20:02,472 --> 00:20:06,342
A mint? Oh, man, is
this it? Our first kiss!
357
00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:10,608
No way! Shane was right.
Your breath is nasty.
358
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,344
Oh.
359
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,514
Aw, come here.
360
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:20,318
Our first hug! Yay!
361
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:22,553
Okay.
362
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:29,393
"Poor little guy never even saw
that monster truck coming." (Laughs)
363
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:33,731
Brava, Jessie, very nice work.
364
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:36,667
Hey! Ravi, you said you'd
make sure Jessie was late!
365
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:39,570
I would never betray my
nanny just to gain a friend!
366
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,339
How pathetic do you think I am?
367
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:42,573
Do not answer that!
368
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:45,710
Ravi told me all about your little plan.
369
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,346
Aw, what's wrong, Abbey?
370
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,616
Did your horoscope not mention anything
about being tricked by an 11-year-old?
371
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,618
I am 13.
372
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:55,519
Really?
373
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,390
Abbey, that was quite a gesture,
374
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:02,426
letting Jessie audition with
that character you created.
375
00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:04,362
That's what friends are for.
376
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,599
Unfortunately, the director said it
was the worst audition he's ever seen.
377
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,602
What? You said it was a brave choice!
378
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:13,537
Yes, apparently too brave.
379
00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:17,475
I believe his exact words were,
"what kind of monster laughs
380
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:20,544
"when telling an 8-year-old his
dog has been flattened by a truck?"
381
00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:24,615
Yes! Jessie blew it! I still have a shot!
382
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:28,653
Actually, Jessie's take on the
character was so disturbing,
383
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:31,389
the director has decided
to cut it entirely.
384
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:33,591
And start seeing a therapist.
385
00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:35,693
Way to go, hack.
386
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,262
Your acting's so bad,
it cost both of us a job!
387
00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:42,633
Sorry, this whole friendship before
career thing is gonna be hard for me.
388
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,335
Yeah, I'm picking up on that.
389
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:47,738
On the bright side, they're
casting for a role uptown
390
00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:51,609
that you both would be perfect
for. Here's the address.
391
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,279
See ya, friend. Ravi, stop her!
392
00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:58,349
Do not even try. Nothing can dislodge me.
393
00:21:58,383 --> 00:22:00,518
I am an immovable boulder!
394
00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:05,656
More like a portable pebble.
395
00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:09,560
I never want to see you again, Abbey!
396
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:11,595
Although Brando is always welcome.
397
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:14,398
There is no reason for
the lizards to suffer.
398
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:20,237
You've got potential. You should join
my class for nine to 11-year-olds.
399
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:21,572
I am 13!
400
00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:28,713
See, it's a rear-view mirror! Get it?
401
00:22:29,548 --> 00:22:30,514
All: Oh.
402
00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:33,584
This is so bad.
403
00:22:34,319 --> 00:22:36,587
I'd actually rather do my homework.
404
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:40,725
I'd throw a tomato at him, but
I'm afraid he'd use it in his act.
405
00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,662
You know, this isn't easy, people.
406
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:46,630
I am under a tremendous...
407
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:48,733
Strain up here.
408
00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:53,504
I hope you're happy. You've
ruined colanders for me!
409
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,441
I can't believe I apologized to you.
410
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:03,247
Oh, wait! I just got party pooper!
411
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:04,448
This is horrible.
412
00:23:06,618 --> 00:23:08,619
Well, thanks for staying, Jessie.
413
00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:11,522
No problem. Your parents are
paying me to watch you, right?
414
00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:13,424
Yes. Then on with the show.