﻿1
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♪ Good morning, USA!

2
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪

3
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

4
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪

5
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say

6
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♪ Good morning, USA

7
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Aah!

8
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♪ Good morning, USA!

9
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Oh, Stan...

10
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I love having date night on a Tuesday.

11
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And it's Taco Tuesday, where
all the tacos are two for one.

12
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:46,311
Your frugality is so sexy.

13
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I brought a garbage bag that
we can fill with chips.

14
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You know, maybe with
all the money we're saving

15
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:55,354
on Mexican food, we can
finally buy a new couch.

16
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Too many animals have
given birth on the old one.

17
00:00:57,925 --> 00:00:59,658
Stan...?

18
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Are you listening?

19
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,029
Yeah...

20
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I was, I was just looking at...

21
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the-the alcohol.

22
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H-H-Have they always
served hard alcohol here?

23
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Stan, you have two Jack
and Cokes in front of you.

24
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You get them every time we come here.

25
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Jack is alcohol?!

26
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Why, I always thought it was slang.

27
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Like, "That soda be so cheap
you Jack and Coke, son."

28
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You just couldn't keep your eyes off

29
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that slutty bartender, could you?

30
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Wait, what?!

31
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Are you just guessing that she's slutty,

32
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or have you heard something?

33
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Well, we're in the driveway

34
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and that's where all conversations end.

35
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I'm gonna go deal with
the B-side of Taco Tuesday.

36
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See you at sex later?

37
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Wednesday morning, that means
Stan's fresh off date night.

38
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Come on, spill it!

39
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All right. Highlight:

40
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Successfully passed an expired coupon.

41
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Nice!
The master!

42
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Keeping it cheap!

43
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Francine almost busted me

44
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checking out this hot girl's boobs.

45
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Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
You can't get caught looking.

46
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Yeah, man.
Women talk.

47
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If my girlfriend hears
you're checking out other women,

48
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she'll realize I do it too.

49
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Guys, guys, relax.

50
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I covered it with an excuse

51
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and even agreed to go
couch shopping at the mall.

52
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The mall?!

53
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,640
That place is crawling with hot chicks.

54
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So, I'll just play it safe
and not look at <i>any</i> women.

55
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No, you can still look.

56
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You just gotta learn to rubberneck.

57
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"Rubberneck?"
What's that?

58
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We'll tell you, but you
gotta keep it a secret.

59
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Women can never find out
about rubbernecking.

60
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New black intern:
Kick it.

61
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Rubbernecking is the art of
checking out women on the sly.

62
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And if you do it right,
you'll <i>never</i> get caught.

63
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♪ Well...

64
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♪ My name's Mcgee

65
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♪ And soon you'll see

66
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♪ If you wanna rubberneck

67
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♪ Just listen to me

68
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♪ Because a peek don't hurt ♪

69
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♪ If you wanna scout skirt,
you have to be covert ♪

70
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♪ Listen up, you squirt

71
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♪ Well, my name is Jackson

72
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♪ My technique's the purest

73
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♪ When I wanna scout girls

74
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♪ I pretend I'm a tourist

75
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♪ You look around like you're super lost ♪

76
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♪ Hold up a map, now you're
peeking like a boss. ♪

77
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Yeah... I guess when I'm lost,
I do look everywhere.

78
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♪ My name is Sanders and I don't lie ♪

79
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♪ The best way to peek

80
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♪ Say there's
something in your eye. ♪

81
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Wow... smooth.

82
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♪ Well, my name is Tiny Dick

83
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♪ And I have a little trick

84
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♪ To look at a lady

85
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♪ So she don't think I'm shady

86
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♪ I pretend that I'm dead

87
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♪ And I lie on a gurney

88
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♪ When the nurses come up

89
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♪ I do the <i>Weekend at Bernie's</i> ♪

90
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♪ Never forget, women like to judge ♪

91
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♪ Go on, give that cattiness a nudge ♪

92
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♪ So tell your woman that you hate a girl ♪

93
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♪ And you can stare while
<i>all</i> that hate unfurls. ♪

94
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Hey, Francine,
look at that terrible outfit.

95
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Yeah, she looks like a hooker.

96
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Hooker, hooker, hooker...

97
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♪ When you wanna take a look,
hold up a book ♪

98
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♪ A newspaper will do
to look at some boobs ♪

99
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♪ I think you're ready to join the crew ♪

100
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♪ Because you're rubbernecking

101
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♪ With the best

102
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♪ Rubbernecking with the best

103
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♪ Because you're rubbernecking

104
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♪ With the best

105
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♪ Rubbernecking with the best.

106
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New couch!

107
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:15,854
Klaus, get in here!

108
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This better be important.

109
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I'm crank calling my aunt in Düsseldorf.

110
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She's on.

111
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I'm going to kill you.

112
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I'm going to kill you.

113
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Okay, what now?

114
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A new couch!

115
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It feels like I'm floating.

116
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Well, I took a long enough
lunch; better go back to work.

117
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Listen, Stan...

118
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I'm sorry I got so paranoid last night.

119
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There were beautiful women
all over the mall today

120
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and you didn't even notice.

121
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You're talking about that redhead, right?

122
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Either way, you should know
I only have eyes for you.

123
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You know, Klaus,

124
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I've been saving something
for an occasion just like this.

125
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This bottle of wine was
a gift from Julia Child...

126
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to Liz Taylor.

127
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I stole it when I worked
at the post office.

128
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Yes, red wine, the deepest
staining of all the wines.

129
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To our new couch.

130
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That was a terrible toast.

131
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Could've been about any couch.

132
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,080
Let's try again.

133
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To our new, pristine, white couch.

134
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Blech! Ooh! It's turned.

135
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,490
That is bad wine.

136
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,025
That is <i>real</i> bad wine.

137
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Never keep wine in the car.

138
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I knew it and I did it anyway.

139
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Oh, no, the couch.

140
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The cushions are sewn in.

141
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We can't flip them.

142
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Stan will kill us!

143
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,305
What are we gonna do?!

144
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,274
We'll just have to sit here forever.

145
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That's brilliant!

146
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Oh, isn't it crazy how worried
we were a moment ago?

147
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Well, <i>hello,</i> hot jogger.

148
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♪ Rubbernecking...

149
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Might as well get some
photo proof for the boys

150
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,794
while I'm here.

151
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,029
Not doing anything wrong.

152
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,497
Just looking for a signal.

153
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,132
Definitely not zooming in to see

154
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,800
if you're wearing underpants.

155
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Some from the back
and don't forget the rack.

156
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,349
Damn it, if Francine finds out I crashed

157
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,084
because I was rubbernecking,
I'm a dead man.

158
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:29,988
My back hurts and I used
to have a great back!

159
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,423
What the hell were you looking at?

160
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,694
Nothing.
I must've lingered on a blink.

161
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,929
Are you okay?

162
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,164
Do you need help?

163
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,166
Get out of here!
You've done enough!

164
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,741
Nice.

165
00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:02,621
Oh, my God, what happened to you?!

166
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,424
Oh, I got in a car accident,
Francine, but don't worry,

167
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,025
luckily I've had enough time to remember

168
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,593
the exact truth of what happened.

169
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,196
Oh, you poor thing.
Come rest your bloody head

170
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,731
right here underneath where I'm sitting.

171
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,933
You see, I was driving responsibly

172
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,103
with my eyes on the road,
when a dog jumped out.

173
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I saved his life by swerving.

174
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,907
He made eye contact as he ran away.

175
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,543
No words exchanged,
he wasn't a talking dog,

176
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:27,779
but in that moment,
I knew he thought me a hero.

177
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,549
Well, come on.
With a head trauma like this,

178
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,217
you should get right into bed.

179
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:36,555
It's like they say, "Starve a
fever, sleep a concussion."

180
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,093
How'd you sleep?

181
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,762
Lousy.

182
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,130
Do I have tank head?

183
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,998
Did you guys spend the night on the couch?

184
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,133
Yes.

185
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,668
We are, um...

186
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,771
trying to set the world record
for longest continuous

187
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,973
couch-sitting
in Smith household history.

188
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,074
Good one, Klaus.

189
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,412
Mr. Smith,
my name is Heinrich Brown.

190
00:08:00,414 --> 00:08:01,580
Okay!

191
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,281
I'm from your insurance company

192
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,323
and I'm here to review
the details of your accident.

193
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,987
Anyway, I was hoping to talk to you

194
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,690
about exactly how your accident went down.

195
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,091
Of course!
Of cour... of course.

196
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,159
Come in. Come in.

197
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,962
Hope you like nothin', 'cause
that's what I got to hide.

198
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,697
Hey, do you mind if we meet in the kitchen?

199
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,333
My-my fish,
and this...

200
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:24,469
little girl are trying to set
a couch-sitting record.

201
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,004
You don't remember me?

202
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,706
I'm Jean-Louise Finch.

203
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:31,109
You brought us some molasses
one foggy morning, remember?

204
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:35,780
So... yeah, let's-let's
go to the kitchen.

205
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,619
Thank you once more for this delicious...

206
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,354
glass of milk.

207
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,190
Now, Mr. Smith, before I start,
I want to remind you

208
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,459
that insurance fraud is a felony,

209
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,561
punishable by serious jail time.

210
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,864
Your sworn statement says you swerved

211
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,033
because a dog jumped in front of your car?

212
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,968
Are you sure that's
what caused the accident?

213
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,637
Why wouldn't he be sure?

214
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,138
I don't know, Mrs. Smith.

215
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,974
It's not my job to know
what caused the accident.

216
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,043
It's my job to find out.

217
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,579
And then, after that... to know.

218
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:16,087
He keeps drinking, but there's
always the same amount of milk!

219
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:22,427
Thank you again,
Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

220
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:25,697
I will return this glass
when I am done with my milk.

221
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,667
Oh, don't return it, just put
it down when you're done.

222
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,435
If I was meant to have it,
it'll find its way back to me.

223
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:34,839
And Mr. Smith, please know that
if you are hiding <i>anything,</i>

224
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,776
anything at all, I will sniff it out.

225
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,778
It's an ability of mine.

226
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,047
For instance...

227
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,516
your fish and that Southern tomboy

228
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:47,385
are hiding a wine stain on your couch.

229
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,220
What?! Is that true?!

230
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,756
It was Klaus, he spilled the wine!

231
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,858
He said if I told you, AI'd be next!

232
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,969
♪ Hey, yo, insurance is not a game ♪

233
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,052
♪ You know what I'm saying?

234
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,472
♪ I'm a dog. Here we go

235
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:08,640
♪ Radio edit

236
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,874
♪ Yo, let's do this

237
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,543
♪ Hey, yo, if you commit fraud

238
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:12,978
♪ You gon' be paying to God

239
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,446
♪ If you fake your wreck

240
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,947
♪ We gon' break your neck

241
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,282
♪ Cover your tracks well

242
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,750
♪ I'll use my sense to smell

243
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,251
♪ And all of a sudden

244
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,153
♪ Your permanent hotel is goin' be jail ♪

245
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,388
♪ I'm a fraud sniff in' dog

246
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,823
♪ Make you squeal like a hog

247
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:25,991
♪ If I see fraudulence

248
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,759
♪ I pull a de-liverence

249
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,227
♪ And when I find out

250
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,929
♪ You'll lose that
safe driver discount! ♪

251
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,164
♪ Discount, discount, discount

252
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,399
♪ Yo

253
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,834
♪ Earthquakes are not covered

254
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,569
♪ Under the home insurance plan, bitch ♪

255
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,904
♪ Yo, we do not cover acts of God ♪

256
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,406
♪ I <i>am</i> an act of God ♪

257
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,641
♪ Yo, you just remember

258
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:43,808
♪ You want fire coverage

259
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,310
♪ It's a separate policy

260
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,312
♪ The zip code affects your premium ♪

261
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,748
♪ Yo, I ain't a good neighbor

262
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:50,949
♪ I banged your wife

263
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,484
♪ And you ain't in good hands

264
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:53,985
♪ Because I'll take your life.

265
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,197
I'll tell you what I told Verne Troyer:

266
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:09,701
if the sidecar comes unattached,
it's a separate vehicle

267
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,636
and it's not covered.

268
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:12,937
Heinrich!

269
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,539
Wh-What, wh-what
are you doing here?

270
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,374
Mr. Smith.

271
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,009
I was about to close your case,

272
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:22,447
but one small, easily-answered
question arose.

273
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,848
It-it... it did?

274
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,818
Yes, you said a dog ran in front
of your car.

275
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,687
But in this traffic camera photo,

276
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:32,057
the only thing <i>I</i> see is a fox.

277
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,694
She's quite beautiful.

278
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,896
Did she happen to catch your eye?

279
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,564
Oh, I don't... I don't pay
attention to joggers

280
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:42,367
when I'm driving. No, th-they're
like pedestrians to me.

281
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,135
I'm just gonna come out and say it:

282
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,570
I think you were rubbernecking.

283
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:46,905
With the best.

284
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:49,174
But I unfortunately have no evidence.

285
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:52,210
So I'm gonna have to close your case.

286
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,481
As long as I don't find anything
at the routine inspection

287
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,150
of your vehicle at the body shop.

288
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,056
Well, looks like we're in the clear.

289
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,158
He's not gonna find anything.
The only evidence

290
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,027
is some pictures of that jogger
in my phone.

291
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,029
Which I haven't even looked at
since the accident

292
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,198
because my phone's in my car.

293
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,067
You brought him in here, you bastard!

294
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,838
Rubbernecking is all I have!

295
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,677
Get down there and clean up your mess!

296
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:31,349
'Twas beauty killed the beast.

297
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:36,087
Mr. Smith, how odd
to see you here.

298
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,123
Have you inspected the car?

299
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,125
Everywhere but under the driver's seat.

300
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:43,294
I always save that...
for dessert.

301
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:55,206
Nothing.

302
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,308
Mr. Smith,
I'm a proud man

303
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,378
but not too proud to admit when I'm beaten.

304
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,914
I'm very proud of that.

305
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,216
Good-bye forever,
Mr. Smith.

306
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,353
My glass!

307
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:18,062
Aw...

308
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:20,665
Stan? I lied, Stan.

309
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,668
Klaus didn't spill
the wine... we both did.

310
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,937
I had to tell you 'cause it's the truth.

311
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:29,808
And if we ain't got no truth
in this world, what do we have?

312
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,442
Damn lies.

313
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,678
You're not Stan.
How'd you get Stan's phone?

314
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,246
What else of Stan's do you have?

315
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,848
Let's sell it all and split the dough.

316
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:39,851
We're in this together.
Don't you dare double-cross me!

317
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:45,523
Just as I suspected.

318
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,859
Your crash was caused by rubbernecking.

319
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:51,830
Mr. Smith, you're under arrest
for insurance fraud.

320
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,701
Oh, my God, what happened?

321
00:13:56,703 --> 00:14:00,772
I was checking out a hot
chick in a news copter.

322
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:03,608
See? He told the truth.

323
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,510
And everyone's the better for it.

324
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,512
I'd like to purchase...

325
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,848
some life insurance.

326
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,482
Are you a smoker?

327
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,484
Only when I drink.

328
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,962
Steve, why isn't your mother here?

329
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,296
She's hurt, Dad.

330
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,165
She's so upset about your rubbernecking

331
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,334
she's not even coming to your trial.

332
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,337
And I got to say, I don't blame her.

333
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,846
It's time to wake up, Stan.

334
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:45,783
♪ It's time to stand up and be a man ♪

335
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:50,355
♪ Be the husband that you told her you ♪

336
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,590
♪ Were gonna be forever

337
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,426
♪ <i>Dearly beloved,</i>
<i>we are gathered here today</i> ♪

338
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,363
♪ But I can't see what's wrong with you ♪

339
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,932
♪ You got a wife, a hot one, too ♪

340
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:04,535
♪ But if you keep on looking,
you won't end up together ♪

341
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,038
♪ Oh, my God

342
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,707
♪ Is she not hot enough

343
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,442
♪ For you, Dad?

344
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,779
♪ <i>I can't believe</i> ♪

345
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:17,515
♪ <i>That you can't see</i> ♪

346
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,518
♪ Those lips, hips and face

347
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,521
♪ Body's all over the place

348
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,356
♪ Oh, yeah

349
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,693
♪ Damn, that's my mama ♪ <i>That's his mama</i> ♪

350
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:31,095
♪ Damn, if that wasn't my mama ♪

351
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,564
♪ Stan, you know it's not fair

352
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:36,601
♪ Why you looking at some other ho ♪

353
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:40,338
♪ When she's got the milky
breasts and silky hair ♪

354
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,141
♪ Helen Keller, open your eyes

355
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,543
♪ You got the perfect wife

356
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,112
♪ The time inside her

357
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:53,117
♪ Was the best damn nine months
of my life ♪

358
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,820
♪ Is she not hot enough

359
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,322
♪ For you, Dad?

360
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,624
♪ <i>I can't believe</i> ♪

361
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:03,261
♪ Ooh, oh, my God, oh, my God
♪ <i>That you can't see</i> ♪

362
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,563
♪ Now I'm thinking maybe she's

363
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,065
♪ Just too hot

364
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,433
♪ For someone

365
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:11,169
- ♪ As blind as you...
<i>- Steve!</i>

366
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,905
Seriously, this isn't a great
place not to be wearing a shirt.

367
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:16,574
Let him sing!

368
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,351
All right.

369
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,954
Mr. Smith, you will be judged
by a jury of your peers,

370
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,856
who just happen to all be

371
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,858
married women around your wife's age.

372
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:39,364
Mr. Smith, this is a photo not
of the dog you claimed to avoid

373
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,366
but of an admittedly attractive jogger

374
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,801
that you took at the time of your accident.

375
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:46,704
And here is a photo of your wife.

376
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,106
With a wife this attractive,

377
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,174
why were you looking at another woman?

378
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,710
Are you some kind of deviant?

379
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,112
What? No.

380
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:56,914
Looking at other women
is normal. It's...

381
00:16:57,716 --> 00:16:58,850
Mr. Smith?

382
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,051
You were saying?

383
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,819
No, I-I-I don't,
I don't think I was.

384
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:04,689
Come on, Mr. Smith.
Admit it.

385
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:09,394
You're a sex-crazed maniac,
no better than a U.S. senator.

386
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,795
How dare you!

387
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,031
I am a lot of things, but not a senator!

388
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,867
Then why were you taking these photos?!

389
00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,735
Because I was rubbernecking!

390
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:18,903
All men do it!

391
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,974
I don't.

392
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,375
You're a dead man, Smith!

393
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,044
You are gonna die!

394
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,512
I don't know where or when,

395
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,381
but each of us has to go in our own time!

396
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,483
Is that even a threat?

397
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,851
Order! Order!

398
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,153
The gallery will refrain

399
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,321
from shouting out existential truisms!

400
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,890
Listen, I know I'm a judge

401
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:41,859
and I'm supposed to make sure
you get a fair trial,

402
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:44,896
but everyone in here
should be disgusted with you.

403
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:48,199
If my wife looked like yours,
I'd never take my eyes off her.

404
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,034
Oh, you wouldn't, would you?

405
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:54,172
Wait, Your Honor, can I ask
the court for a quick recess?

406
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:56,908
Didn't really wait for my answer...

407
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,609
Steve, take this to your mother.

408
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,211
She doesn't want to hear it, Dad.

409
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,346
She won't have to hear it.
She'll have to read it.

410
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:05,049
Just make sure she does.

411
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,050
Whatever.

412
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:07,251
20 minute recess.

413
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,953
Dick.

414
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,562
Oh...

415
00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:21,265
Well, I forgot where we were,

416
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,134
so I guess, Mr. Smith,
you have the floor.

417
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,435
You're a bad judge.

418
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,271
Well, I'm not the one on trial, am I?

419
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,539
Am I?

420
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:30,641
Proceed.

421
00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:36,714
Your Honor, I'd like
to call to the stand...

422
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,549
Francine Smith.

423
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,339
Busted!

424
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,641
Rubbernecking! Rubbernecking!

425
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,843
Rubberne...

426
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,079
Rubbernecking!

427
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:09,514
You were all rubbernecking!

428
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,916
See? I told you! All men do it.

429
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:13,784
But that doesn't make us bad guys.

430
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:15,853
It's like I said in my note, Francine.

431
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,788
I may look at other women, but...

432
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,857
it doesn't mean I love you any less.

433
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:24,095
My eyes may wander, but my
heart always comes home.

434
00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:25,763
Oh, Stan.

435
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:30,201
Well, to be completely honest,
when I walked in here,

436
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:33,137
it felt kind of good being looked at.

437
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:36,541
♪ Yo, fellas, so what my girl
wants to wear a short skirt? ♪

438
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,975
♪ It be hot in Virginia

439
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,210
♪ I'm gonna wear a skirt

440
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,712
♪ Me, too, I want to be seen

441
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,849
♪ You look like a prostitute
but it's not obscene ♪

442
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,852
♪ If I got the goods
and my body's rocking ♪

443
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,621
♪ Ain't nothing wrong
with window-shopping ♪

444
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,624
♪ I get looked at all the time ♪

445
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,994
♪ Tons and tons and tons of times ♪

446
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,830
♪ How much is normal
to get looked at? ♪

447
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,365
♪ You can double that

448
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,701
♪ That's how much I get looked at ♪

449
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,070
♪ It's pretty annoying sometimes ♪

450
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,706
♪ But you live with it
when you're hecka good-looking ♪

451
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,676
♪ See, rubbernecking just ain't no crime ♪

452
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,412
♪ We're doing it just to pass the time ♪

453
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:18,182
♪ We might look but you'll go
home with only me ♪

454
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,218
♪ My eyes may wander

455
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,887
♪ But my heart comes home

456
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:26,057
♪ <i>Comes home, comes home</i> ♪
♪ My eyes may wander

457
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,893
♪ But my heart comes home

458
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:32,163
♪ <i>Comes home, comes home</i> ♪
♪ If Francine wasn't my mama

459
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:35,199
♪ Lord, you know
I'd try to bone... ♪

460
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:36,567
Come on, Steve.

461
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,869
♪ Lord, I've learned my lesson

462
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,572
♪ Lord, I've learned my lesson ♪

463
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,442
♪ Lord, we've learned our lesson ♪

464
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,277
♪ Tonight!

465
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,846
That was a lot of fun to sing.

466
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,281
But unfortunately, Mr. Smith,

467
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,016
you're on trial for insurance fraud,

468
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,285
which you definitely did.

469
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:57,288
I hereby sentence you
to six years in prison.

470
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,190
Lucky!

471
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:29,387
We need a new couch!

472
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:33,391
Bye! Have a beautiful time.

