﻿1
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♪ Good morning, USA!

2
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪

3
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

4
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪

5
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say

6
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♪ Good morning, USA

7
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Aah!

8
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♪ Good morning, USA!

9
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Oh, Stan...

10
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I love having date night on a Tuesday.

11
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And it's Taco Tuesday, where
all the tacos are two for one.

12
00:00:43,178 --> 00:00:45,611
Your frugality is so sexy.

13
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I brought a garbage bag that
we can fill with chips.

14
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You know, maybe with
all the money we're saving

15
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:54,654
on Mexican food, we can
finally buy a new couch.

16
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Too many animals have
given birth on the old one.

17
00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,958
Stan...?

18
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Are you listening?

19
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Yeah...

20
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:05,531
I was, I was just looking at...

21
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the-the alcohol.

22
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H-H-Have they always
served hard alcohol here?

23
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Stan, you have two Jack
and Cokes in front of you.

24
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You get them every time we come here.

25
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Jack is alcohol?!

26
00:01:16,711 --> 00:01:18,511
Why, I always thought it was slang.

27
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Like, "That soda be so cheap
you Jack and Coke, son."

28
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You just couldn't keep your eyes off

29
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that slutty bartender, could you?

30
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Wait, what?!

31
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Are you just guessing that she's slutty,

32
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or have you heard something?

33
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Well, we're in the driveway

34
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and that's where all conversations end.

35
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I'm gonna go deal with
the B-side of Taco Tuesday.

36
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See you at sex later?

37
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Wednesday morning, that means
Stan's fresh off date night.

38
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Come on, spill it!

39
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All right. Highlight:

40
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Successfully passed an expired coupon.

41
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Nice!
The master!

42
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Keeping it cheap!

43
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Francine almost busted me

44
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checking out this hot girl's boobs.

45
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Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
You can't get caught looking.

46
00:02:07,095 --> 00:02:08,795
Yeah, man.
Women talk.

47
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If my girlfriend hears
you're checking out other women,

48
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she'll realize I do it too.

49
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Guys, guys, relax.

50
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I covered it with an excuse

51
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and even agreed to go
couch shopping at the mall.

52
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The mall?!

53
00:02:19,107 --> 00:02:20,940
That place is crawling with hot chicks.

54
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So, I'll just play it safe
and not look at <i>any</i> women.

55
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No, you can still look.

56
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You just gotta learn to rubberneck.

57
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"Rubberneck?"
What's that?

58
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We'll tell you, but you
gotta keep it a secret.

59
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Women can never find out
about rubbernecking.

60
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New black intern:
Kick it.

61
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Rubbernecking is the art of
checking out women on the sly.

62
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And if you do it right,
you'll <i>never</i> get caught.

63
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♪ Well...

64
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♪ My name's Mcgee

65
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♪ And soon you'll see

66
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♪ If you wanna rubberneck

67
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♪ Just listen to me

68
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♪ Because a peek don't hurt ♪

69
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♪ If you wanna scout skirt,
you have to be covert ♪

70
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♪ Listen up, you squirt

71
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♪ Well, my name is Jackson

72
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♪ My technique's the purest

73
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♪ When I wanna scout girls

74
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♪ I pretend I'm a tourist

75
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♪ You look around like you're super lost ♪

76
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♪ Hold up a map, now you're
peeking like a boss. ♪

77
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Yeah... I guess when I'm lost,
I do look everywhere.

78
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♪ My name is Sanders and I don't lie ♪

79
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♪ The best way to peek

80
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♪ Say there's
something in your eye. ♪

81
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Wow... smooth.

82
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♪ Well, my name is Tiny Dick

83
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♪ And I have a little trick

84
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♪ To look at a lady

85
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♪ So she don't think I'm shady

86
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♪ I pretend that I'm dead

87
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♪ And I lie on a gurney

88
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♪ When the nurses come up

89
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♪ I do the <i>Weekend at Bernie's</i> ♪

90
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♪ Never forget, women like to judge ♪

91
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♪ Go on, give that cattiness a nudge ♪

92
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♪ So tell your woman that you hate a girl ♪

93
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♪ And you can stare while
<i>all</i> that hate unfurls. ♪

94
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Hey, Francine,
look at that terrible outfit.

95
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Yeah, she looks like a hooker.

96
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Hooker, hooker, hooker...

97
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♪ When you wanna take a look,
hold up a book ♪

98
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♪ A newspaper will do
to look at some boobs ♪

99
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♪ I think you're ready to join the crew ♪

100
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♪ Because you're rubbernecking

101
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♪ With the best

102
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♪ Rubbernecking with the best

103
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♪ Because you're rubbernecking

104
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♪ With the best

105
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♪ Rubbernecking with the best.

106
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New couch!

107
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,154
Klaus, get in here!

108
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This better be important.

109
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I'm crank calling my aunt in Düsseldorf.

110
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She's on.

111
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I'm going to kill you.

112
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,363
I'm going to kill you.

113
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Okay, what now?

114
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A new couch!

115
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It feels like I'm floating.

116
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Well, I took a long enough
lunch; better go back to work.

117
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Listen, Stan...

118
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I'm sorry I got so paranoid last night.

119
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There were beautiful women
all over the mall today

120
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and you didn't even notice.

121
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You're talking about that redhead, right?

122
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Either way, you should know
I only have eyes for you.

123
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You know, Klaus,

124
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I've been saving something
for an occasion just like this.

125
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This bottle of wine was
a gift from Julia Child...

126
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to Liz Taylor.

127
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I stole it when I worked
at the post office.

128
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Yes, red wine, the deepest
staining of all the wines.

129
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To our new couch.

130
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,978
That was a terrible toast.

131
00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,212
Could've been about any couch.

132
00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:14,380
Let's try again.

133
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To our new, pristine, white couch.

134
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Blech! Ooh! It's turned.

135
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,790
That is bad wine.

136
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,325
That is <i>real</i> bad wine.

137
00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:27,994
Never keep wine in the car.

138
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I knew it and I did it anyway.

139
00:05:29,931 --> 00:05:31,464
Oh, no, the couch.

140
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The cushions are sewn in.

141
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We can't flip them.

142
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,737
Stan will kill us!

143
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What are we gonna do?!

144
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,574
We'll just have to sit here forever.

145
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That's brilliant!

146
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Oh, isn't it crazy how worried
we were a moment ago?

147
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Well, <i>hello,</i> hot jogger.

148
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♪ Rubbernecking...

149
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Might as well get some
photo proof for the boys

150
00:06:00,962 --> 00:06:02,094
while I'm here.

151
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Not doing anything wrong.

152
00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:04,797
Just looking for a signal.

153
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,432
Definitely not zooming in to see

154
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,100
if you're wearing underpants.

155
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Some from the back
and don't forget the rack.

156
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,649
Damn it, if Francine finds out I crashed

157
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,384
because I was rubbernecking,
I'm a dead man.

158
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:29,288
My back hurts and I used
to have a great back!

159
00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:30,723
What the hell were you looking at?

160
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,994
Nothing.
I must've lingered on a blink.

161
00:06:34,996 --> 00:06:37,229
Are you okay?

162
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,464
Do you need help?

163
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,466
Get out of here!
You've done enough!

164
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,041
Nice.

165
00:06:58,186 --> 00:07:00,121
Oh, my God, what happened to you?!

166
00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:02,924
Oh, I got in a car accident,
Francine, but don't worry,

167
00:07:02,926 --> 00:07:04,525
luckily I've had enough time to remember

168
00:07:04,527 --> 00:07:06,093
the exact truth of what happened.

169
00:07:06,095 --> 00:07:08,696
Oh, you poor thing.
Come rest your bloody head

170
00:07:08,698 --> 00:07:10,231
right here underneath where I'm sitting.

171
00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:12,433
You see, I was driving responsibly

172
00:07:12,435 --> 00:07:15,603
with my eyes on the road,
when a dog jumped out.

173
00:07:15,605 --> 00:07:17,571
I saved his life by swerving.

174
00:07:17,573 --> 00:07:19,407
He made eye contact as he ran away.

175
00:07:19,409 --> 00:07:22,043
No words exchanged,
he wasn't a talking dog,

176
00:07:22,045 --> 00:07:25,279
but in that moment,
I knew he thought me a hero.

177
00:07:25,281 --> 00:07:28,049
Well, come on.
With a head trauma like this,

178
00:07:28,051 --> 00:07:29,717
you should get right into bed.

179
00:07:29,719 --> 00:07:34,055
It's like they say, "Starve a
fever, sleep a concussion."

180
00:07:38,393 --> 00:07:39,593
How'd you sleep?

181
00:07:39,595 --> 00:07:41,262
Lousy.

182
00:07:41,264 --> 00:07:42,630
Do I have tank head?

183
00:07:42,632 --> 00:07:44,498
Did you guys spend the night on the couch?

184
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,633
Yes.

185
00:07:45,635 --> 00:07:47,168
We are, um...

186
00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:50,271
trying to set the world record
for longest continuous

187
00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:52,473
couch-sitting
in Smith household history.

188
00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:53,574
Good one, Klaus.

189
00:07:55,411 --> 00:07:57,912
Mr. Smith,
my name is Heinrich Brown.

190
00:07:57,914 --> 00:07:59,080
Okay!

191
00:07:59,082 --> 00:08:00,781
I'm from your insurance company

192
00:08:00,783 --> 00:08:02,823
and I'm here to review
the details of your accident.

193
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,487
Anyway, I was hoping to talk to you

194
00:08:06,489 --> 00:08:09,190
about exactly how your accident went down.

195
00:08:09,192 --> 00:08:10,591
Of course!
Of cour... of course.

196
00:08:10,593 --> 00:08:11,659
Come in. Come in.

197
00:08:11,661 --> 00:08:14,462
Hope you like nothin', 'cause
that's what I got to hide.

198
00:08:14,464 --> 00:08:16,197
Hey, do you mind if we meet in the kitchen?

199
00:08:16,199 --> 00:08:18,833
My-my fish,
and this...

200
00:08:18,835 --> 00:08:21,969
little girl are trying to set
a couch-sitting record.

201
00:08:21,971 --> 00:08:23,504
You don't remember me?

202
00:08:23,506 --> 00:08:25,206
I'm Jean-Louise Finch.

203
00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:28,609
You brought us some molasses
one foggy morning, remember?

204
00:08:30,145 --> 00:08:33,280
So... yeah, let's-let's
go to the kitchen.

205
00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:38,119
Thank you once more for this delicious...

206
00:08:38,121 --> 00:08:39,854
glass of milk.

207
00:08:39,856 --> 00:08:42,690
Now, Mr. Smith, before I start,
I want to remind you

208
00:08:42,692 --> 00:08:44,959
that insurance fraud is a felony,

209
00:08:44,961 --> 00:08:47,061
punishable by serious jail time.

210
00:08:48,331 --> 00:08:50,364
Your sworn statement says you swerved

211
00:08:50,366 --> 00:08:52,533
because a dog jumped in front of your car?

212
00:08:52,535 --> 00:08:54,468
Are you sure that's
what caused the accident?

213
00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:56,137
Why wouldn't he be sure?

214
00:08:56,139 --> 00:08:57,638
I don't know, Mrs. Smith.

215
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,474
It's not my job to know
what caused the accident.

216
00:09:00,476 --> 00:09:02,543
It's my job to find out.

217
00:09:02,545 --> 00:09:05,079
And then, after that... to know.

218
00:09:09,751 --> 00:09:13,587
He keeps drinking, but there's
always the same amount of milk!

219
00:09:17,592 --> 00:09:19,927
Thank you again,
Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

220
00:09:19,929 --> 00:09:23,197
I will return this glass
when I am done with my milk.

221
00:09:23,199 --> 00:09:26,167
Oh, don't return it, just put
it down when you're done.

222
00:09:26,169 --> 00:09:27,935
If I was meant to have it,
it'll find its way back to me.

223
00:09:27,937 --> 00:09:32,339
And Mr. Smith, please know that
if you are hiding <i>anything,</i>

224
00:09:32,341 --> 00:09:35,276
anything at all, I will sniff it out.

225
00:09:35,278 --> 00:09:37,278
It's an ability of mine.

226
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,547
For instance...

227
00:09:39,549 --> 00:09:42,016
your fish and that Southern tomboy

228
00:09:42,018 --> 00:09:44,885
are hiding a wine stain on your couch.

229
00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:46,720
What?! Is that true?!

230
00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:49,256
It was Klaus, he spilled the wine!

231
00:09:49,258 --> 00:09:51,358
He said if I told you, AI'd be next!

232
00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:01,469
♪ Hey, yo, insurance is not a game ♪

233
00:10:01,471 --> 00:10:02,552
♪ You know what I'm saying?

234
00:10:03,306 --> 00:10:04,972
♪ I'm a dog. Here we go

235
00:10:04,974 --> 00:10:06,140
♪ Radio edit

236
00:10:06,142 --> 00:10:07,374
♪ Yo, let's do this

237
00:10:07,376 --> 00:10:09,043
♪ Hey, yo, if you commit fraud

238
00:10:09,045 --> 00:10:10,478
♪ You gon' be paying to God

239
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:11,946
♪ If you fake your wreck

240
00:10:11,948 --> 00:10:13,447
♪ We gon' break your neck

241
00:10:13,449 --> 00:10:14,782
♪ Cover your tracks well

242
00:10:14,784 --> 00:10:16,250
♪ I'll use my sense to smell

243
00:10:16,252 --> 00:10:17,751
♪ And all of a sudden

244
00:10:17,753 --> 00:10:19,653
♪ Your permanent hotel is goin' be jail ♪

245
00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:20,888
♪ I'm a fraud sniff in' dog

246
00:10:20,890 --> 00:10:22,323
♪ Make you squeal like a hog

247
00:10:22,325 --> 00:10:23,491
♪ If I see fraudulence

248
00:10:23,493 --> 00:10:25,259
♪ I pull a de-liverence

249
00:10:25,261 --> 00:10:26,727
♪ And when I find out

250
00:10:26,729 --> 00:10:28,429
♪ You'll lose that
safe driver discount! ♪

251
00:10:28,431 --> 00:10:30,664
♪ Discount, discount, discount

252
00:10:30,666 --> 00:10:31,899
♪ Yo

253
00:10:31,901 --> 00:10:33,334
♪ Earthquakes are not covered

254
00:10:33,336 --> 00:10:35,069
♪ Under the home insurance plan, bitch ♪

255
00:10:35,071 --> 00:10:37,404
♪ Yo, we do not cover acts of God ♪

256
00:10:37,406 --> 00:10:38,906
♪ I <i>am</i> an act of God ♪

257
00:10:38,908 --> 00:10:40,141
♪ Yo, you just remember

258
00:10:40,143 --> 00:10:41,308
♪ You want fire coverage

259
00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:42,810
♪ It's a separate policy

260
00:10:42,812 --> 00:10:44,812
♪ The zip code affects your premium ♪

261
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,248
♪ Yo, I ain't a good neighbor

262
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:48,449
♪ I banged your wife

263
00:10:48,451 --> 00:10:49,984
♪ And you ain't in good hands

264
00:10:49,986 --> 00:10:51,485
♪ Because I'll take your life.

265
00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,697
I'll tell you what I told Verne Troyer:

266
00:11:03,699 --> 00:11:07,201
if the sidecar comes unattached,
it's a separate vehicle

267
00:11:07,203 --> 00:11:09,136
and it's not covered.

268
00:11:09,138 --> 00:11:10,437
Heinrich!

269
00:11:10,439 --> 00:11:12,039
Wh-What, wh-what
are you doing here?

270
00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:13,874
Mr. Smith.

271
00:11:13,876 --> 00:11:15,509
I was about to close your case,

272
00:11:15,511 --> 00:11:19,947
but one small, easily-answered
question arose.

273
00:11:19,949 --> 00:11:21,348
It-it... it did?

274
00:11:21,350 --> 00:11:24,318
Yes, you said a dog ran in front
of your car.

275
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,187
But in this traffic camera photo,

276
00:11:26,189 --> 00:11:29,557
the only thing <i>I</i> see is a fox.

277
00:11:31,227 --> 00:11:33,194
She's quite beautiful.

278
00:11:33,196 --> 00:11:35,396
Did she happen to catch your eye?

279
00:11:35,398 --> 00:11:37,064
Oh, I don't... I don't pay
attention to joggers

280
00:11:37,066 --> 00:11:39,867
when I'm driving. No, th-they're
like pedestrians to me.

281
00:11:39,869 --> 00:11:41,635
I'm just gonna come out and say it:

282
00:11:41,637 --> 00:11:43,070
I think you were rubbernecking.

283
00:11:43,072 --> 00:11:44,405
With the best.

284
00:11:44,407 --> 00:11:46,674
But I unfortunately have no evidence.

285
00:11:46,676 --> 00:11:49,710
So I'm gonna have to close your case.

286
00:11:51,414 --> 00:11:53,981
As long as I don't find anything
at the routine inspection

287
00:11:53,983 --> 00:11:56,650
of your vehicle at the body shop.

288
00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:02,556
Well, looks like we're in the clear.

289
00:12:02,558 --> 00:12:04,658
He's not gonna find anything.
The only evidence

290
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:06,527
is some pictures of that jogger
in my phone.

291
00:12:06,529 --> 00:12:08,529
Which I haven't even looked at
since the accident

292
00:12:08,531 --> 00:12:10,698
because my phone's in my car.

293
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:13,567
You brought him in here, you bastard!

294
00:12:13,569 --> 00:12:17,338
Rubbernecking is all I have!

295
00:12:19,742 --> 00:12:23,177
Get down there and clean up your mess!

296
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,849
'Twas beauty killed the beast.

297
00:12:30,118 --> 00:12:33,587
Mr. Smith, how odd
to see you here.

298
00:12:33,589 --> 00:12:35,623
Have you inspected the car?

299
00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:37,625
Everywhere but under the driver's seat.

300
00:12:37,627 --> 00:12:40,794
I always save that...
for dessert.

301
00:12:50,305 --> 00:12:52,706
Nothing.

302
00:12:52,708 --> 00:12:54,808
Mr. Smith,
I'm a proud man

303
00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:57,878
but not too proud to admit when I'm beaten.

304
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,414
I'm very proud of that.

305
00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:02,716
Good-bye forever,
Mr. Smith.

306
00:13:10,292 --> 00:13:11,853
My glass!

307
00:13:12,627 --> 00:13:15,562
Aw...

308
00:13:15,564 --> 00:13:18,165
Stan? I lied, Stan.

309
00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:21,168
Klaus didn't spill
the wine... we both did.

310
00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:23,437
I had to tell you 'cause it's the truth.

311
00:13:23,439 --> 00:13:27,308
And if we ain't got no truth
in this world, what do we have?

312
00:13:27,310 --> 00:13:28,942
Damn lies.

313
00:13:28,944 --> 00:13:31,178
You're not Stan.
How'd you get Stan's phone?

314
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,746
What else of Stan's do you have?

315
00:13:32,748 --> 00:13:34,348
Let's sell it all and split the dough.

316
00:13:34,350 --> 00:13:37,351
We're in this together.
Don't you dare double-cross me!

317
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:43,023
Just as I suspected.

318
00:13:43,025 --> 00:13:45,359
Your crash was caused by rubbernecking.

319
00:13:45,361 --> 00:13:49,330
Mr. Smith, you're under arrest
for insurance fraud.

320
00:13:52,535 --> 00:13:54,201
Oh, my God, what happened?

321
00:13:54,203 --> 00:13:58,272
I was checking out a hot
chick in a news copter.

322
00:13:58,274 --> 00:14:01,108
See? He told the truth.

323
00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:03,010
And everyone's the better for it.

324
00:14:03,012 --> 00:14:05,012
I'd like to purchase...

325
00:14:05,014 --> 00:14:07,348
some life insurance.

326
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:08,982
Are you a smoker?

327
00:14:08,984 --> 00:14:10,984
Only when I drink.

328
00:14:18,128 --> 00:14:19,862
Steve, why isn't your mother here?

329
00:14:19,864 --> 00:14:21,196
She's hurt, Dad.

330
00:14:21,198 --> 00:14:23,065
She's so upset about your rubbernecking

331
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,234
she's not even coming to your trial.

332
00:14:25,236 --> 00:14:28,237
And I got to say, I don't blame her.

333
00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:37,746
It's time to wake up, Stan.

334
00:14:37,748 --> 00:14:41,683
♪ It's time to stand up and be a man ♪

335
00:14:43,253 --> 00:14:46,255
♪ Be the husband that you told her you ♪

336
00:14:46,257 --> 00:14:48,490
♪ Were gonna be forever

337
00:14:48,492 --> 00:14:51,326
♪ <i>Dearly beloved,</i>
<i>we are gathered here today</i> ♪

338
00:14:51,328 --> 00:14:54,263
♪ But I can't see what's wrong with you ♪

339
00:14:54,265 --> 00:14:56,832
♪ You got a wife, a hot one, too ♪

340
00:14:56,834 --> 00:15:00,435
♪ But if you keep on looking,
you won't end up together ♪

341
00:15:00,437 --> 00:15:02,938
♪ Oh, my God

342
00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:05,607
♪ Is she not hot enough

343
00:15:05,609 --> 00:15:07,342
♪ For you, Dad?

344
00:15:07,344 --> 00:15:10,679
♪ <i>I can't believe</i> ♪

345
00:15:10,681 --> 00:15:13,415
♪ <i>That you can't see</i> ♪

346
00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:16,418
♪ Those lips, hips and face

347
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:19,421
♪ Body's all over the place

348
00:15:19,423 --> 00:15:21,256
♪ Oh, yeah

349
00:15:21,258 --> 00:15:24,593
♪ Damn, that's my mama ♪ <i>That's his mama</i> ♪

350
00:15:24,595 --> 00:15:26,995
♪ Damn, if that wasn't my mama ♪

351
00:15:26,997 --> 00:15:29,464
♪ Stan, you know it's not fair

352
00:15:29,466 --> 00:15:32,501
♪ Why you looking at some other ho ♪

353
00:15:32,503 --> 00:15:36,238
♪ When she's got the milky
breasts and silky hair ♪

354
00:15:37,173 --> 00:15:39,041
♪ Helen Keller, open your eyes

355
00:15:39,043 --> 00:15:41,443
♪ You got the perfect wife

356
00:15:41,445 --> 00:15:44,012
♪ The time inside her

357
00:15:44,014 --> 00:15:49,017
♪ Was the best damn nine months
of my life ♪

358
00:15:49,019 --> 00:15:51,720
♪ Is she not hot enough

359
00:15:51,722 --> 00:15:53,222
♪ For you, Dad?

360
00:15:53,224 --> 00:15:55,524
♪ <i>I can't believe</i> ♪

361
00:15:55,526 --> 00:15:59,161
♪ Ooh, oh, my God, oh, my God
♪ <i>That you can't see</i> ♪

362
00:15:59,163 --> 00:16:01,463
♪ Now I'm thinking maybe she's

363
00:16:01,465 --> 00:16:02,965
♪ Just too hot

364
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:04,333
♪ For someone

365
00:16:04,335 --> 00:16:07,069
- ♪ As blind as you...
<i>- Steve!</i>

366
00:16:07,071 --> 00:16:09,805
Seriously, this isn't a great
place not to be wearing a shirt.

367
00:16:09,807 --> 00:16:12,474
Let him sing!

368
00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:22,251
All right.

369
00:16:22,253 --> 00:16:25,854
Mr. Smith, you will be judged
by a jury of your peers,

370
00:16:25,856 --> 00:16:27,756
who just happen to all be

371
00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:29,758
married women around your wife's age.

372
00:16:31,562 --> 00:16:35,264
Mr. Smith, this is a photo not
of the dog you claimed to avoid

373
00:16:35,266 --> 00:16:37,266
but of an admittedly attractive jogger

374
00:16:37,268 --> 00:16:39,701
that you took at the time of your accident.

375
00:16:39,703 --> 00:16:42,604
And here is a photo of your wife.

376
00:16:42,606 --> 00:16:44,006
With a wife this attractive,

377
00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:46,074
why were you looking at another woman?

378
00:16:46,076 --> 00:16:48,610
Are you some kind of deviant?

379
00:16:48,612 --> 00:16:50,012
What? No.

380
00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:52,814
Looking at other women
is normal. It's...

381
00:16:53,616 --> 00:16:54,750
Mr. Smith?

382
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:55,951
You were saying?

383
00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:57,719
No, I-I-I don't,
I don't think I was.

384
00:16:57,721 --> 00:17:00,589
Come on, Mr. Smith.
Admit it.

385
00:17:00,591 --> 00:17:05,294
You're a sex-crazed maniac,
no better than a U.S. senator.

386
00:17:05,296 --> 00:17:06,695
How dare you!

387
00:17:06,697 --> 00:17:08,931
I am a lot of things, but not a senator!

388
00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:11,767
Then why were you taking these photos?!

389
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,635
Because I was rubbernecking!

390
00:17:13,637 --> 00:17:14,803
All men do it!

391
00:17:16,974 --> 00:17:18,874
I don't.

392
00:17:18,876 --> 00:17:20,275
You're a dead man, Smith!

393
00:17:20,277 --> 00:17:21,944
You are gonna die!

394
00:17:21,946 --> 00:17:23,412
I don't know where or when,

395
00:17:23,414 --> 00:17:26,281
but each of us has to go in our own time!

396
00:17:26,283 --> 00:17:28,383
Is that even a threat?

397
00:17:28,385 --> 00:17:29,751
Order! Order!

398
00:17:29,753 --> 00:17:31,053
The gallery will refrain

399
00:17:31,055 --> 00:17:33,221
from shouting out existential truisms!

400
00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:34,790
Listen, I know I'm a judge

401
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,759
and I'm supposed to make sure
you get a fair trial,

402
00:17:37,761 --> 00:17:40,796
but everyone in here
should be disgusted with you.

403
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:44,099
If my wife looked like yours,
I'd never take my eyes off her.

404
00:17:44,101 --> 00:17:45,934
Oh, you wouldn't, would you?

405
00:17:45,936 --> 00:17:50,072
Wait, Your Honor, can I ask
the court for a quick recess?

406
00:17:51,074 --> 00:17:52,808
Didn't really wait for my answer...

407
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,509
Steve, take this to your mother.

408
00:17:54,511 --> 00:17:56,111
She doesn't want to hear it, Dad.

409
00:17:56,113 --> 00:17:58,246
She won't have to hear it.
She'll have to read it.

410
00:17:58,248 --> 00:18:00,949
Just make sure she does.

411
00:18:00,951 --> 00:18:01,950
Whatever.

412
00:18:01,952 --> 00:18:03,151
20 minute recess.

413
00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:04,853
Dick.

414
00:18:11,494 --> 00:18:13,462
Oh...

415
00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:17,165
Well, I forgot where we were,

416
00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:19,034
so I guess, Mr. Smith,
you have the floor.

417
00:18:19,036 --> 00:18:20,335
You're a bad judge.

418
00:18:20,337 --> 00:18:23,171
Well, I'm not the one on trial, am I?

419
00:18:23,173 --> 00:18:24,439
Am I?

420
00:18:25,475 --> 00:18:26,541
Proceed.

421
00:18:30,213 --> 00:18:32,614
Your Honor, I'd like
to call to the stand...

422
00:18:32,616 --> 00:18:34,449
Francine Smith.

423
00:18:55,972 --> 00:18:57,239
Busted!

424
00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:59,541
Rubbernecking! Rubbernecking!

425
00:18:59,543 --> 00:19:01,743
Rubberne...

426
00:19:02,979 --> 00:19:03,979
Rubbernecking!

427
00:19:03,981 --> 00:19:05,414
You were all rubbernecking!

428
00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:07,816
See? I told you! All men do it.

429
00:19:07,818 --> 00:19:09,684
But that doesn't make us bad guys.

430
00:19:09,686 --> 00:19:11,753
It's like I said in my note, Francine.

431
00:19:11,755 --> 00:19:13,688
I may look at other women, but...

432
00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,757
it doesn't mean I love you any less.

433
00:19:15,759 --> 00:19:19,995
My eyes may wander, but my
heart always comes home.

434
00:19:19,997 --> 00:19:21,663
Oh, Stan.

435
00:19:21,665 --> 00:19:26,101
Well, to be completely honest,
when I walked in here,

436
00:19:26,103 --> 00:19:29,037
it felt kind of good being looked at.

437
00:19:29,039 --> 00:19:32,441
♪ Yo, fellas, so what my girl
wants to wear a short skirt? ♪

438
00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:33,875
♪ It be hot in Virginia

439
00:19:33,877 --> 00:19:35,110
♪ I'm gonna wear a skirt

440
00:19:35,112 --> 00:19:37,612
♪ Me, too, I want to be seen

441
00:19:37,614 --> 00:19:40,749
♪ You look like a prostitute
but it's not obscene ♪

442
00:19:40,751 --> 00:19:43,752
♪ If I got the goods
and my body's rocking ♪

443
00:19:43,754 --> 00:19:46,521
♪ Ain't nothing wrong
with window-shopping ♪

444
00:19:46,523 --> 00:19:49,524
♪ I get looked at all the time ♪

445
00:19:49,526 --> 00:19:52,894
♪ Tons and tons and tons of times ♪

446
00:19:52,896 --> 00:19:55,730
♪ How much is normal
to get looked at? ♪

447
00:19:55,732 --> 00:19:57,265
♪ You can double that

448
00:19:57,267 --> 00:19:59,601
♪ That's how much I get looked at ♪

449
00:19:59,603 --> 00:20:01,970
♪ It's pretty annoying sometimes ♪

450
00:20:01,972 --> 00:20:04,606
♪ But you live with it
when you're hecka good-looking ♪

451
00:20:04,608 --> 00:20:07,576
♪ See, rubbernecking just ain't no crime ♪

452
00:20:07,578 --> 00:20:10,312
♪ We're doing it just to pass the time ♪

453
00:20:10,314 --> 00:20:14,082
♪ We might look but you'll go
home with only me ♪

454
00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:16,118
♪ My eyes may wander

455
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,787
♪ But my heart comes home

456
00:20:18,789 --> 00:20:21,957
♪ <i>Comes home, comes home</i> ♪
♪ My eyes may wander

457
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,793
♪ But my heart comes home

458
00:20:24,795 --> 00:20:28,063
♪ <i>Comes home, comes home</i> ♪
♪ If Francine wasn't my mama

459
00:20:28,065 --> 00:20:31,099
♪ Lord, you know
I'd try to bone... ♪

460
00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:32,467
Come on, Steve.

461
00:20:32,469 --> 00:20:34,769
♪ Lord, I've learned my lesson

462
00:20:34,771 --> 00:20:37,472
♪ Lord, I've learned my lesson ♪

463
00:20:37,474 --> 00:20:40,342
♪ Lord, we've learned our lesson ♪

464
00:20:40,344 --> 00:20:42,177
♪ Tonight!

465
00:20:42,179 --> 00:20:44,746
That was a lot of fun to sing.

466
00:20:44,748 --> 00:20:46,181
But unfortunately, Mr. Smith,

467
00:20:46,183 --> 00:20:47,916
you're on trial for insurance fraud,

468
00:20:47,918 --> 00:20:50,185
which you definitely did.

469
00:20:50,187 --> 00:20:53,188
I hereby sentence you
to six years in prison.

470
00:20:53,190 --> 00:20:55,090
Lucky!

471
00:21:23,386 --> 00:21:25,287
We need a new couch!

472
00:21:25,657 --> 00:21:28,291
Bye! Have a beautiful time.

