1
00:00:07,004 --> 00:00:09,190
And just when they thought all
hope was lost... [door opens]
2
00:00:09,191 --> 00:00:11,518
Hi. Oh no. Am I too late?
Did I miss storytelling?
3
00:00:11,519 --> 00:00:13,213
No, no. We're just
getting to the good part.
4
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,993
So, he turned up the music,
threw a raging party...
5
00:00:20,234 --> 00:00:22,885
[Ben laughs] Danny: Yeah!
6
00:00:22,886 --> 00:00:25,071
And fell in love with a hooker.
7
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,329
Oh, I get to be the hooker.
8
00:00:30,732 --> 00:00:32,877
Whoo. (Chuckling)
9
00:00:32,878 --> 00:00:34,136
And that wraps up tonight's edition
10
00:00:34,137 --> 00:00:35,698
of drive-in with daddy.
11
00:00:37,311 --> 00:00:38,690
Wow. "Risky Business."
12
00:00:39,023 --> 00:00:42,019
Kind of threw me there, 'cause I
thought tonight's movie was "Goldilocks."
13
00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:43,061
Oh, well,
14
00:00:43,062 --> 00:00:45,100
Tucker was tired of being the baby bear.
15
00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:49,736
Well, I do enjoy these
father-daughter moments.
16
00:00:49,737 --> 00:00:52,079
And in fact, you've kind of inspired me
17
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:53,911
to find my own biological father.
18
00:00:53,912 --> 00:00:55,874
Which by the way, I have.
19
00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:57,733
No way!
20
00:00:57,734 --> 00:00:58,884
Yes, way. Well, ever since
21
00:00:58,885 --> 00:01:00,906
I found out that aunt Margot
actually gave birth to me,
22
00:01:00,907 --> 00:01:02,787
I've wanted to know who he is,
23
00:01:02,788 --> 00:01:05,526
but my mom forbid Margot
from saying anything.
24
00:01:05,527 --> 00:01:08,398
So my dad slipped me his old yearbook
25
00:01:08,399 --> 00:01:11,267
and said "page 37, Mark Clements.
26
00:01:11,268 --> 00:01:13,626
That's the bastard who
knocked up your aunt Margot."
27
00:01:14,044 --> 00:01:14,981
(Chuckles)
28
00:01:15,678 --> 00:01:16,978
I love my dad.
29
00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:19,533
Attention, ladies and gentlemen,
30
00:01:19,534 --> 00:01:21,168
parents arriving momentarily.
31
00:01:21,169 --> 00:01:23,236
Next stop, dysfunction junction.
32
00:01:24,939 --> 00:01:26,096
(Knocks on door)
33
00:01:26,577 --> 00:01:27,748
And they're here.
34
00:01:28,371 --> 00:01:30,018
Let the judging begin.
35
00:01:32,476 --> 00:01:33,978
- Tucker.
- Dad.
36
00:01:35,282 --> 00:01:37,178
Wait, where's mom?
37
00:01:37,756 --> 00:01:39,175
See, I told her you'd notice.
38
00:01:40,372 --> 00:01:42,020
I said, "Joanne, the boy's gonna notice."
39
00:01:43,972 --> 00:01:45,646
Dad, what's going on? Is something wrong?
40
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:46,534
Not at all.
41
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,303
Your mother and I are getting a divorce.
42
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,894
So...
43
00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:54,425
Then the three little bears, trying
to avoid a very awkward situation,
44
00:01:54,426 --> 00:01:55,965
all took Goldilocks to bed. Let's go.
45
00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,926
You know, the big one isn't wearing pants.
46
00:02:01,771 --> 00:02:03,164
(Theme music playing)
47
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,704
* it's amazing how the unexpected *
48
00:02:06,705 --> 00:02:10,338
* can take your life
and change direction. *
49
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:14,280
Created by Nantinha. Resynced by Katniss.
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
50
00:02:14,281 --> 00:02:15,429
Tucker: Divorced?
51
00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:18,113
Dude, I cannot believe I'm
going to be from a broken home.
52
00:02:19,033 --> 00:02:20,559
Well, technically four broken homes
53
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,482
if you count our vacation properties.
54
00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:25,253
I know what you're going through, bud.
55
00:02:25,254 --> 00:02:27,650
When my parents got
divorced, it was horrible.
56
00:02:27,651 --> 00:02:29,615
The constant shuttling back and forth,
57
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:30,825
splitting holidays,
58
00:02:30,826 --> 00:02:33,034
never really knowing where to call home.
59
00:02:33,559 --> 00:02:35,197
You were 24.
60
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,004
Hey, maybe I can talk to your dad.
61
00:02:38,005 --> 00:02:40,338
I'm sure whatever happened was his fault.
62
00:02:40,339 --> 00:02:42,256
I could certainly point
that out to him for you.
63
00:02:42,559 --> 00:02:44,218
I don't know. I mean, if someone's gonna
64
00:02:44,219 --> 00:02:46,042
give my dad advice about marriage,
65
00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:47,950
shouldn't it be someone who was good at it?
66
00:02:48,538 --> 00:02:50,125
Hey, I was brilliant at it.
67
00:02:50,542 --> 00:02:52,282
He was gay at it.
68
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:56,677
Well, my mom says he's too uptight at it.
69
00:02:57,062 --> 00:02:58,456
Too uptight?
70
00:02:58,457 --> 00:03:00,967
Now that I could fix.
71
00:03:02,963 --> 00:03:04,093
That's a good idea.
72
00:03:04,622 --> 00:03:06,148
Dude, I can fix him.
73
00:03:06,149 --> 00:03:07,604
I just need to loosen him up a bit,
74
00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:10,676
and nobody is more laid back than me.
75
00:03:10,677 --> 00:03:11,631
(Chuckles)
76
00:03:11,632 --> 00:03:13,347
Dude, would it kill you to use a coaster?
77
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:17,285
Oh, and remember to scrub
that for a full 20 seconds
78
00:03:17,286 --> 00:03:18,933
using circular motions.
79
00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:22,832
He's hilarious.
80
00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:24,184
Like I'm gonna wash this.
81
00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:26,712
What are we gonna do?
82
00:03:26,713 --> 00:03:28,593
Tucker doesn't have a
laid back bone in his body.
83
00:03:28,594 --> 00:03:30,791
I know. He caught me reading his journal
84
00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:32,377
and he got all mad about it.
85
00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:35,800
Maybe you could go out with Mr. Dobbs.
86
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:37,903
You know, loosen him
up. Show him a good time.
87
00:03:37,904 --> 00:03:41,218
Well, I think the no fun
police has plans of his own.
88
00:03:41,219 --> 00:03:42,606
It could be our little secret.
89
00:03:42,607 --> 00:03:45,240
Like your hair color and your real age.
90
00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:48,015
Good morning. Hey, mom,
91
00:03:48,016 --> 00:03:49,823
I was just flipping
through your old yearbook.
92
00:03:49,824 --> 00:03:52,988
I didn't know you were voted "most likely
to be a grandma before the age of 50."
93
00:03:53,397 --> 00:03:55,690
On behalf of Emma, you're welcome.
94
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,954
See this. Ahh.
95
00:03:58,955 --> 00:03:59,726
Dated him,
96
00:04:00,554 --> 00:04:01,544
dated him,
97
00:04:02,131 --> 00:04:04,518
way more than dated him.
98
00:04:05,085 --> 00:04:07,503
God, we had some hot teachers at school.
99
00:04:08,153 --> 00:04:09,401
Where'd you get this?
100
00:04:09,402 --> 00:04:10,604
Uh, Riley left it here.
101
00:04:10,605 --> 00:04:12,481
She's trying to track
down her biological father.
102
00:04:12,482 --> 00:04:13,976
Oh, David Brinkerhoff?
103
00:04:13,977 --> 00:04:15,541
Uh, no. Mark Clements.
104
00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:16,549
Margot's old boyfriend.
105
00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:18,217
Oh, no no no. Mark and Margot
106
00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:19,535
may have been going steady,
107
00:04:19,536 --> 00:04:22,244
but Margot and David
were going all the way.
108
00:04:22,245 --> 00:04:23,429
Oh my God, really?
109
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,674
I gotta go stop Riley from
calling the wrong guy daddy.
110
00:04:26,111 --> 00:04:29,298
But first, I gotta take care
of the girl who calls me daddy.
111
00:04:29,299 --> 00:04:32,172
Or at least she should be.
Seriously, it's not that hard.
112
00:04:32,173 --> 00:04:34,276
Da-da.
Da-da.
113
00:04:34,884 --> 00:04:36,276
Okay, I tried.
114
00:04:40,099 --> 00:04:41,327
Ben, hi.
115
00:04:41,328 --> 00:04:42,703
Oh, Riley. Good you're here.
116
00:04:42,704 --> 00:04:44,304
Sorry if I pulled you out of court.
117
00:04:44,305 --> 00:04:45,484
Oh, shoot.
118
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,144
I knew I had something to do today.
119
00:04:48,058 --> 00:04:50,441
Sorry, I've just been so busy
working on my bio dad file.
120
00:04:50,442 --> 00:04:52,848
Everything there is to know
about Mark Clements is in here.
121
00:04:52,849 --> 00:04:53,958
Yeah, about that...
122
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:56,077
Married twice, divorced once, two sons,
123
00:04:56,487 --> 00:04:59,434
so there's still an opening
for daddy's little girl.
124
00:04:59,435 --> 00:05:01,089
And oh, get this. Get this.
125
00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:04,557
He's a successful, high
powered, Manhattan attorney.
126
00:05:05,135 --> 00:05:07,017
Hello? Chip meet block.
127
00:05:08,037 --> 00:05:09,499
Or rush meet judgment.
128
00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:11,988
He was also a high school jock, me.
129
00:05:11,989 --> 00:05:13,907
President of his college debate club, me.
130
00:05:13,908 --> 00:05:15,737
And allergic to shellfish.
131
00:05:15,738 --> 00:05:17,240
Me me me.
132
00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:18,593
I'm so excited.
133
00:05:18,594 --> 00:05:20,708
Well, how would you like
to be twice as excited?
134
00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:22,486
- What do you mean?
- Well, according to my mom,
135
00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:23,681
there's a second contestant
136
00:05:23,682 --> 00:05:25,146
in this round of "who's your daddy?"
137
00:05:25,147 --> 00:05:26,928
His name's David Brinkerhoff.
138
00:05:26,929 --> 00:05:28,738
Oh my God. No.
139
00:05:28,739 --> 00:05:29,703
No no no no.
140
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:32,327
I am absolutely positive
that Mark is my father.
141
00:05:32,788 --> 00:05:35,863
David is a pastry chef
and owns his own bakery.
142
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:37,919
Oh my God, it might be him.
143
00:05:39,770 --> 00:05:41,432
What am I gonna do now?
144
00:05:41,433 --> 00:05:42,924
I have to start a whole new file.
145
00:05:43,401 --> 00:05:45,857
Or we could just go
check them out in person.
146
00:05:46,298 --> 00:05:48,951
Ben, I can't just walk
into some guy's bakery
147
00:05:48,952 --> 00:05:51,529
and be like "oh, hey. I'll
have two dozen cupcakes
148
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:53,192
and some DNA."
149
00:05:53,845 --> 00:05:54,841
No.
150
00:05:54,842 --> 00:05:56,687
But an engaged couple from Yonkers
151
00:05:56,688 --> 00:05:59,655
who's looking for someone to
make their wedding cake can.
152
00:05:59,656 --> 00:06:01,851
Yeah, but where are we gonna
find a couple like that?
153
00:06:03,888 --> 00:06:05,099
Oh oh.
154
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,465
- You mean us.
- Yeah.
155
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,694
Oh, I like that. Okay.
156
00:06:12,294 --> 00:06:13,798
(Laughing)
157
00:06:14,309 --> 00:06:15,750
(Groans)
158
00:06:17,726 --> 00:06:18,852
Well...
159
00:06:18,853 --> 00:06:20,156
Thank you for a lovely evening.
160
00:06:20,851 --> 00:06:22,642
This really is the city that never sleeps.
161
00:06:23,226 --> 00:06:25,241
Especially not at 9:00 pm.
162
00:06:26,401 --> 00:06:28,985
Though it sure feels like
I pulled an all nighter.
163
00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:31,896
It's also the city where
everything you touch
164
00:06:31,897 --> 00:06:33,302
is just a little sticky.
165
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:34,952
Ahh. Okay.
166
00:06:37,316 --> 00:06:39,277
- So, well?
- Well, nothing.
167
00:06:39,603 --> 00:06:42,188
He's tighter than the jeans
on the left side of my closet.
168
00:06:43,616 --> 00:06:45,224
Never say die.
169
00:06:45,589 --> 00:06:47,486
Look, honey, I tried. But there is no
170
00:06:47,487 --> 00:06:49,117
loosening up that lug nut.
171
00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,613
Night, Marshall.
172
00:06:50,614 --> 00:06:51,899
You're on your own.
173
00:06:55,299 --> 00:06:56,926
So, Mr. Dobbs.
174
00:06:56,927 --> 00:06:58,038
Daniel, I have to thank you.
175
00:06:58,039 --> 00:07:00,581
That was the best date I've
been on in thirty years.
176
00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:05,115
Whoo. Whoo.
177
00:07:06,215 --> 00:07:07,732
Um, date, what?
178
00:07:07,733 --> 00:07:09,648
I really appreciate you setting me up.
179
00:07:09,649 --> 00:07:11,475
Setting you up? I never set you up.
180
00:07:11,476 --> 00:07:13,440
- What about your wife?
- You mean the death star?
181
00:07:14,786 --> 00:07:15,992
She hates me.
182
00:07:15,993 --> 00:07:16,988
But that Bonnie,
183
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,198
she makes me feel alive again.
184
00:07:19,199 --> 00:07:20,462
I mean, just look at me.
185
00:07:20,776 --> 00:07:22,450
I'm as giddy as a school boy.
186
00:07:24,034 --> 00:07:26,358
No no, you can't see my mom.
187
00:07:26,359 --> 00:07:27,390
What about Tucker?
188
00:07:28,174 --> 00:07:30,044
I didn't realize he had his eye on her too.
189
00:07:31,307 --> 00:07:33,440
No! No no no no. The divorce.
190
00:07:33,441 --> 00:07:35,736
I'm sure Tucker's not gonna
want to see you dating my mom.
191
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:39,644
Oh. Well then, we should just
keep this between us for now.
192
00:07:39,645 --> 00:07:41,066
Hey, dad. I'm glad you're back.
193
00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:43,038
Listen, I thought we could
go on a little bar crawl
194
00:07:43,039 --> 00:07:45,119
and really get crazy, right?
195
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,245
(Chuckles)
196
00:07:46,557 --> 00:07:48,527
But we're gonna need
to be there before 9:15
197
00:07:48,528 --> 00:07:50,237
if we're gonna follow my itinerary.
198
00:07:51,708 --> 00:07:53,106
Now let's loosen up this tie.
199
00:07:53,107 --> 00:07:54,744
- Don't touch my tie, damn it.
- I'm sorry, sir.
200
00:08:00,215 --> 00:08:02,084
Oh my God, this is so weird.
201
00:08:02,085 --> 00:08:03,927
I mean, at first I was
positive it was Mark,
202
00:08:03,928 --> 00:08:06,098
but now I think it might actually be David.
203
00:08:06,099 --> 00:08:08,012
He's married, no kids,
204
00:08:08,013 --> 00:08:09,814
he has a dog named sprinkles.
205
00:08:09,815 --> 00:08:11,278
I love sprinkles.
206
00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:12,716
And like me, he may have had
207
00:08:12,717 --> 00:08:14,654
a slight weight problem in high school.
208
00:08:14,655 --> 00:08:15,558
Slight?
209
00:08:16,185 --> 00:08:17,415
May?
210
00:08:17,416 --> 00:08:18,734
Punch.
211
00:08:18,735 --> 00:08:20,030
Face. (Murmurs)
212
00:08:20,425 --> 00:08:22,858
When he comes out here just
let me do the talking, okay?
213
00:08:22,859 --> 00:08:25,108
'Cause I have a whole list of
questions I want to ask him.
214
00:08:25,109 --> 00:08:26,766
Oh, hi. I'm David.
215
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,391
Care to sample my new crapnut?
216
00:08:29,546 --> 00:08:30,916
Croissant-apple-doughnut.
217
00:08:31,419 --> 00:08:32,982
I'm still working on the name.
218
00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:38,538
Uh, hi. I'm Ben Wheeler.
219
00:08:38,539 --> 00:08:39,808
We called yesterday.
220
00:08:39,809 --> 00:08:41,191
Wheeler? I went to high school
221
00:08:41,192 --> 00:08:42,863
with a guy named Ray Wheeler.
222
00:08:42,864 --> 00:08:44,918
Used to beat the crap out of me every day,
223
00:08:44,919 --> 00:08:46,409
but he knocked up some bimbo,
224
00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:48,496
so I guess the joke's on him, right?
225
00:08:49,304 --> 00:08:50,094
Right.
226
00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:52,210
Well, this is my lovely bride to be,
227
00:08:52,211 --> 00:08:54,547
Riley, who just has a
few questions for you.
228
00:08:54,957 --> 00:08:56,283
Right, Riley?
229
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,004
Yeah.
230
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,792
Yeah, I was just wondering if you had...
231
00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:02,208
(Muttering)
232
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,675
Okay, um,
233
00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:10,939
do you have a peanut butter
cake with marshmallow frosting?
234
00:09:10,940 --> 00:09:12,156
It's her favorite.
235
00:09:12,157 --> 00:09:13,548
Get out.
236
00:09:14,109 --> 00:09:16,327
That's my favorite too. (Laughs)
237
00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:18,226
I'll grab you guys some samples.
238
00:09:19,607 --> 00:09:20,890
- Oh my God.
- What's the matter with you?
239
00:09:20,891 --> 00:09:22,359
- I think it's him.
- I can't do this.
240
00:09:22,727 --> 00:09:23,822
I am too nervous.
241
00:09:23,823 --> 00:09:25,037
I mean, it's too real.
242
00:09:25,615 --> 00:09:26,992
What if he is my dad?
243
00:09:26,993 --> 00:09:28,789
Oh my God, these are good.
244
00:09:29,629 --> 00:09:31,689
Here. Will you just
ask him these questions?
245
00:09:32,097 --> 00:09:33,329
I'm sorry. I got to get out of here.
246
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,576
Riley, wait. What are you... come on!
247
00:09:35,577 --> 00:09:36,765
Is everything okay?
248
00:09:36,766 --> 00:09:39,138
Yeah, ironically she just remembered
249
00:09:39,139 --> 00:09:40,614
that she left a cake in the oven.
250
00:09:40,615 --> 00:09:42,721
Aww, a girl after my own heart.
251
00:09:42,722 --> 00:09:44,664
You know, she reminds
me of my little sister.
252
00:09:47,072 --> 00:09:48,444
Or your daughter?
253
00:09:48,445 --> 00:09:50,301
- I don't have one.
- But what if you did?
254
00:09:50,302 --> 00:09:51,606
But I don't.
255
00:09:51,607 --> 00:09:53,127
Well, you do now.
256
00:09:54,358 --> 00:09:56,096
- You mean, she's my...
- Yep.
257
00:10:02,254 --> 00:10:03,643
What is wrong with you?
258
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:04,874
You were supposed to loosen him up,
259
00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:06,335
not make him fall in love with you.
260
00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:08,889
It's not my fault.
261
00:10:08,890 --> 00:10:10,059
It's a curse.
262
00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:13,496
Men love me.
263
00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:17,173
Honestly, I should come
with a warning label.
264
00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:21,918
Listen, honey, maybe you misunderstood.
265
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:23,194
Maybe you're wrong.
266
00:10:23,195 --> 00:10:24,594
(Knocking on door)
267
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:29,621
Bonnie.
268
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,028
You're not wrong.
269
00:10:36,029 --> 00:10:38,026
Oh, damn. I'm good. (Groans)
270
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,544
All right, well, what am I supposed to do?
271
00:10:40,545 --> 00:10:42,147
Tell him to go away.
272
00:10:42,148 --> 00:10:43,818
No. Wait.
273
00:10:43,819 --> 00:10:45,378
Get him to stop liking you.
274
00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:46,759
Do whatever you did to dad.
275
00:10:48,458 --> 00:10:51,055
For the last time, I did not make him gay.
276
00:10:51,056 --> 00:10:52,598
He came that way!
277
00:10:54,545 --> 00:10:55,935
David: Maybe this is a mistake.
278
00:10:55,936 --> 00:10:57,305
I shouldn't even be here.
279
00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:58,887
I mean, me with a kid?
280
00:10:58,888 --> 00:11:00,393
I never wanted one of those.
281
00:11:02,097 --> 00:11:03,838
What am I supposed to say to her?
282
00:11:03,839 --> 00:11:05,280
Probably none of that.
283
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,090
But how about you let me
do most of the talking?
284
00:11:08,091 --> 00:11:09,025
Okay.
285
00:11:09,026 --> 00:11:10,373
I can't believe Margot never told me
286
00:11:10,374 --> 00:11:11,487
she was pregnant.
287
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:14,556
I wasn't even sure we
were really doing it right.
288
00:11:15,661 --> 00:11:17,205
You know, Riley's gonna be here any minute.
289
00:11:17,206 --> 00:11:19,041
So why don't you go out on the fire escape
290
00:11:19,042 --> 00:11:21,529
while I try to make her
believe this was all her idea.
291
00:11:21,530 --> 00:11:23,128
Knock knock. Look, I know...
292
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,008
I know what you're gonna say.
293
00:11:25,009 --> 00:11:26,369
And you are right, okay?
294
00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:28,115
I'm being silly, and I started this thing,
295
00:11:28,116 --> 00:11:29,430
so I need to finish it.
296
00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:32,575
And I do. I want to know
who my biological father is.
297
00:11:32,576 --> 00:11:34,036
Oh my God. I'm so glad you said that.
298
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:36,330
Which is why I called Mark
and asked him to meet me here.
299
00:11:36,824 --> 00:11:38,506
Mark? The lawyer, here?
300
00:11:38,930 --> 00:11:41,040
I told him there's a newly
engaged couple from Yonkers,
301
00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:42,290
and they want to sign a prenup.
302
00:11:42,291 --> 00:11:43,568
Where are we gonna find a couple like that?
303
00:11:44,487 --> 00:11:45,610
Oh, you mean us.
304
00:11:47,810 --> 00:11:49,227
Hi, Mark Clements.
305
00:11:49,228 --> 00:11:51,947
I'm looking for a Riley Jemima?
306
00:11:56,192 --> 00:11:57,466
I was having pancakes.
307
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,189
Yes, hi.
308
00:12:00,615 --> 00:12:02,599
I'm Riley. Come on in, come on in.
309
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,825
Actually, why don't we go outside?
310
00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:05,363
I got a sleeping baby. Water?
311
00:12:05,364 --> 00:12:06,548
There you go. Okay.
312
00:12:08,888 --> 00:12:10,209
Hey, Danny,
313
00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:11,895
do you know what happened to my dad?
314
00:12:11,896 --> 00:12:13,262
I've called him like three times
315
00:12:13,263 --> 00:12:14,695
and I still haven't heard back.
316
00:12:15,744 --> 00:12:17,245
- Hey, man.
- Hey.
317
00:12:22,685 --> 00:12:24,073
No, I haven't seen him.
318
00:12:24,074 --> 00:12:25,701
But I'll let you know the moment I do.
319
00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:26,782
Cool.
320
00:12:27,098 --> 00:12:28,359
Hey, mom. How'd it go with...
321
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,968
- oh, God, Danny!
- Mom!
322
00:12:29,969 --> 00:12:31,249
Mr. Dobbs!
323
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:33,108
(Grunts)
324
00:12:39,263 --> 00:12:40,233
So, Daniel.
325
00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:42,524
I understand you're a hockey player.
326
00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:46,404
So, before your wedding,
327
00:12:46,405 --> 00:12:48,393
you want to sign a prenuptial agreement.
328
00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:51,582
Even though neither one
of you has any assets.
329
00:12:52,498 --> 00:12:53,789
Well, I just want to make sure
330
00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:55,319
that if we ever split up,
331
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:56,842
he doesn't try to take half.
332
00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:59,076
Of nothing?
333
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:01,714
Exactly.
334
00:13:02,307 --> 00:13:04,147
So... so I was wondering,
335
00:13:04,148 --> 00:13:06,838
when did you decide that you
wanted to become a lawyer?
336
00:13:06,839 --> 00:13:09,771
Because you know, I'm one too.
337
00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:12,152
Oh, well then I guess the
next logical question is
338
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:14,097
why am I here?
339
00:13:16,357 --> 00:13:17,932
She's not very good.
340
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,868
I bet that's not true.
341
00:13:20,869 --> 00:13:23,858
You know, I give myself a pep
talk every morning in the mirror.
342
00:13:23,859 --> 00:13:25,729
"You're tough, you're rough,
343
00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:27,831
and damn, you look good in the buff."
344
00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:31,047
I do it when I get out of the shower.
345
00:13:32,201 --> 00:13:33,705
That's even better than mine.
346
00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:36,126
"Don't cry at the office today."
347
00:13:36,127 --> 00:13:37,389
(Elevator dings)
348
00:13:38,135 --> 00:13:39,783
Oh, Ben. I need to speak to you.
349
00:13:39,784 --> 00:13:41,065
But Riley and I are in the middle of...
350
00:13:41,066 --> 00:13:41,937
- now.
- No, but, dude...
351
00:13:41,938 --> 00:13:43,090
excuse us.
352
00:13:45,306 --> 00:13:46,649
And I think I'm out of here.
353
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,034
Oh, no. You can't go yet.
354
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,607
Give me one good reason why not.
355
00:13:53,357 --> 00:13:55,764
Because I think I'm your daughter.
356
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:03,872
They were what?!
357
00:14:04,282 --> 00:14:07,208
I know. It's exactly like the
time I walked in on mom and dad.
358
00:14:07,774 --> 00:14:09,704
I could never play twister again.
359
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:11,972
Okay.
360
00:14:11,973 --> 00:14:14,232
Well, we have to make sure
Tucker never finds out. Tucker!
361
00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:15,422
Hey, guys. First of all,
362
00:14:15,423 --> 00:14:17,171
did y'all know that there
was a funny little man
363
00:14:17,172 --> 00:14:19,147
who smells like doughnuts
out on the fire escape?
364
00:14:20,377 --> 00:14:23,064
Oh, and Danny, I think you were right.
365
00:14:23,065 --> 00:14:25,441
I think I'm gonna ask
your mom to talk to my dad.
366
00:14:25,442 --> 00:14:26,921
Our mom talk to your dad?
367
00:14:26,922 --> 00:14:28,371
- Now, you can't.
- Why not?
368
00:14:28,372 --> 00:14:31,459
Because she's with Emma at the park.
369
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:32,660
I've gotta go meet them. Bye.
370
00:14:32,988 --> 00:14:34,201
They could be gone for hours.
371
00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:35,875
(Emma giggles)
372
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,733
Wait, isn't that Emma?
373
00:14:38,535 --> 00:14:39,603
Is it?
374
00:14:40,636 --> 00:14:41,576
(Chuckles)
375
00:14:41,577 --> 00:14:43,363
Way to keep track of your baby, dude.
376
00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:46,463
Oh my God, Ben. It's him.
377
00:14:46,464 --> 00:14:47,898
I just... I just know it is.
378
00:14:47,899 --> 00:14:49,597
Really? 'Cause I had my money on David.
379
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,164
Hey. You can't just tell
a guy he's your father
380
00:14:51,165 --> 00:14:52,438
and leave him standing there.
381
00:14:52,439 --> 00:14:54,071
Oh my God, Riley. What are you doing?
382
00:14:54,072 --> 00:14:55,348
You're so irresponsible.
383
00:14:55,349 --> 00:14:57,521
Any chance we can cut to the dad stuff?
384
00:14:57,910 --> 00:14:58,898
David.
385
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,336
Oh my God. You brought him in here too?
386
00:15:02,433 --> 00:15:03,969
Well that really is irresponsible.
387
00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:07,399
What the hell is going on here?
388
00:15:07,895 --> 00:15:09,071
I can explain.
389
00:15:09,799 --> 00:15:11,353
Ben, you want to jump in here?
390
00:15:12,614 --> 00:15:14,027
Mark Clements?
391
00:15:14,028 --> 00:15:15,858
David Brinkerhoff.
392
00:15:15,859 --> 00:15:17,827
Looks like you finally
got out of that locker.
393
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,871
Apparently just in time for
you to sell me a used car.
394
00:15:24,009 --> 00:15:25,337
What's he doing here?
395
00:15:25,338 --> 00:15:27,890
I was just told that I had
a kid with Margot Davis.
396
00:15:27,891 --> 00:15:28,903
You and Margot?
397
00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:30,981
I thought you said I was her father.
398
00:15:30,982 --> 00:15:32,168
How could you be her father?
399
00:15:32,169 --> 00:15:33,565
Margot was my girlfriend.
400
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:36,036
Not in the back of my pinto, she wasn't.
401
00:15:38,612 --> 00:15:40,926
Oh, Margot would have never
cheated on me with you.
402
00:15:40,927 --> 00:15:42,583
Why, 'cause I was fat in high school?
403
00:15:42,584 --> 00:15:44,135
Yeah, pretty much. It wasn't easy
404
00:15:44,136 --> 00:15:45,863
shoving you in that locker.
405
00:15:45,864 --> 00:15:47,360
Oh, try it now, pretty boy.
406
00:15:47,361 --> 00:15:48,937
Oh oh, whoa!
407
00:15:48,938 --> 00:15:51,207
Okay, okay. I think we're
kind of missing the point here.
408
00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:52,089
Yes yes.
409
00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:53,172
One of you is the lucky winner
410
00:15:53,173 --> 00:15:55,163
of this beautiful, fully grown daughter.
411
00:15:57,407 --> 00:16:00,299
Yeah, well, not without a
DNA test and a court order.
412
00:16:01,019 --> 00:16:02,491
I don't know what the
two of you are pulling,
413
00:16:02,841 --> 00:16:04,264
but I've had enough.
414
00:16:04,265 --> 00:16:05,726
You know what? Me too.
415
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:07,232
And to think,
416
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,760
I was gonna rename the crapnut after you.
417
00:16:11,052 --> 00:16:12,391
wait. Wait wait wait...
418
00:16:12,392 --> 00:16:13,296
(door slams)
419
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,493
You know what the craziest
part of this whole thing is?
420
00:16:16,812 --> 00:16:19,187
You may have been conceived
in the back of a pinto.
421
00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:23,624
Knock knock.
422
00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:26,274
Mom!
423
00:16:26,275 --> 00:16:27,966
I got you that robe for Christmas.
424
00:16:29,612 --> 00:16:31,875
Daniel, forgive me for having
relations with your mother.
425
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:34,672
I feel horrible about it.
426
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,333
And I may need to be punished.
427
00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:39,516
Oh, you're so bad. You're so bad.
428
00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:41,514
Thanks for the apology, but
I'm a little more worried
429
00:16:41,515 --> 00:16:43,071
about what you're gonna say to Tucker.
430
00:16:43,072 --> 00:16:44,717
Well, we will discuss this maturely
431
00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:46,485
and face it head on.
432
00:16:46,486 --> 00:16:47,854
- (Knocks on door)
- Tucker: Mrs. Wheeler?
433
00:16:47,855 --> 00:16:48,575
Hide me!
434
00:16:49,379 --> 00:16:50,868
Just a minute. Just a minute.
435
00:16:51,436 --> 00:16:52,522
(Murmurs)
436
00:16:58,737 --> 00:16:59,848
Come in.
437
00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:01,499
Hey, Mrs. Wheeler.
438
00:17:02,046 --> 00:17:03,272
Wow.
439
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:05,984
You really do sit around
in your robe all day.
440
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,060
Ha! That's funny.
441
00:17:08,453 --> 00:17:10,586
Good visit. All right,
thanks for stopping by.
442
00:17:10,587 --> 00:17:11,562
I need your help.
443
00:17:12,302 --> 00:17:13,580
I don't know what to do.
444
00:17:13,953 --> 00:17:15,863
I feel like my family's falling apart,
445
00:17:15,864 --> 00:17:16,792
and if that happens,
446
00:17:17,794 --> 00:17:19,528
Mrs. Wheeler, I'll be lost.
447
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:23,885
Poor little Tuck-Tuck.
448
00:17:25,956 --> 00:17:28,080
I really feel for you.
449
00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:30,464
But you know what? Now is
not a good time, alright?
450
00:17:30,465 --> 00:17:32,888
So perhaps I could call you tomorrow,
451
00:17:33,222 --> 00:17:35,411
or better yet, you know,
I'll email you, okay?
452
00:17:35,412 --> 00:17:37,033
- Bye bye bye bye bye.
- Wait, Mrs. Wheeler...
453
00:17:38,342 --> 00:17:39,543
I feel horrible.
454
00:17:40,279 --> 00:17:41,614
I don't think I really thought about
455
00:17:41,615 --> 00:17:43,766
how that divorce might affect Tucker.
456
00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:44,939
Mrs. Wheeler, I just don't...
457
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:50,406
Hey, Tuck.
458
00:17:50,711 --> 00:17:52,706
I found your dad. He was in the closet.
459
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,188
But not the same one my dad was in.
460
00:18:01,139 --> 00:18:02,275
Tucker!
461
00:18:04,576 --> 00:18:05,858
Tucker, stop!
462
00:18:05,859 --> 00:18:07,776
- You have to talk to me.
- No, I don't.
463
00:18:07,777 --> 00:18:10,348
Tucker Thurgood Marshall
Dobbs, get out here.
464
00:18:10,349 --> 00:18:11,677
You can't hide from me forever.
465
00:18:11,678 --> 00:18:13,435
- Tucker: Yes, I can!
- I got this.
466
00:18:13,742 --> 00:18:15,679
Tucker: Wait. No no no. No no no no no.
467
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,527
What are you doing? Stop. Stop it.
468
00:18:18,612 --> 00:18:19,688
Stop it!
469
00:18:23,099 --> 00:18:25,031
I have nothing to say to him.
470
00:18:25,032 --> 00:18:26,267
Well, I've got plenty to say to you.
471
00:18:26,268 --> 00:18:27,783
Oh, actually I've got
plenty to say to you too.
472
00:18:27,784 --> 00:18:28,838
Turn me around.
473
00:18:29,993 --> 00:18:31,361
Tucker, this isn't about you.
474
00:18:31,666 --> 00:18:34,195
I'm a grown man, and I
deserve some happiness.
475
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,986
And that crazy woman makes you happy?
476
00:18:37,128 --> 00:18:38,843
Honestly, whether or
not Bonnie rocks my world
477
00:18:39,168 --> 00:18:40,437
isn't any of your business.
478
00:18:41,301 --> 00:18:42,487
Put me down.
479
00:18:44,402 --> 00:18:45,825
Tucker, one day you're gonna learn
480
00:18:45,826 --> 00:18:47,040
that the goal of raising a family
481
00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:48,675
takes precedence over your own happiness.
482
00:18:49,494 --> 00:18:50,638
But when the hard part is over
483
00:18:50,639 --> 00:18:52,011
and the kids are grown,
484
00:18:52,012 --> 00:18:53,234
you wake up one morning and you say
485
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,404
"who is this woman next to me?
486
00:18:55,796 --> 00:18:57,418
And why does she hate me so much?"
487
00:18:59,412 --> 00:19:01,373
I had no idea you were so unhappy.
488
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:02,560
Well, I was never willing to admit it
489
00:19:02,561 --> 00:19:04,593
until I saw you following your dreams.
490
00:19:04,594 --> 00:19:06,028
So you're saying this is my fault?
491
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:09,314
No, I'm saying I have you to thank.
492
00:19:10,311 --> 00:19:14,120
And I'm asking you to
let my find my own way.
493
00:19:16,411 --> 00:19:18,813
Well, as long you can find
your way out of that robe,
494
00:19:18,814 --> 00:19:20,235
I think I'm cool.
495
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:23,474
No no no. Not that cool.
496
00:19:27,689 --> 00:19:28,936
Hey.
497
00:19:28,937 --> 00:19:30,873
Ben, I so appreciate you calling,
498
00:19:30,874 --> 00:19:32,008
but I'm fine.
499
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,779
Two boxes of tissues
and four pounds of cake
500
00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:35,894
might say otherwise,
501
00:19:35,895 --> 00:19:37,511
but I'm fine.
502
00:19:37,863 --> 00:19:39,840
Riley, I'm really sorry
about how all this happened.
503
00:19:39,841 --> 00:19:41,197
Don't be. It's my fault.
504
00:19:41,198 --> 00:19:42,399
I didn't handle it right.
505
00:19:42,783 --> 00:19:45,552
I don't even know what to say to them.
506
00:19:46,041 --> 00:19:49,548
Well, it might be easier if you
knew who you had to say it to.
507
00:19:50,196 --> 00:19:51,357
What's this?
508
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,824
The results of a DNA test.
509
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,041
I sent in the water glasses
they both used the other day,
510
00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:57,653
and I may or may not have
stolen your toothbrush.
511
00:19:58,517 --> 00:19:59,413
Ben...
512
00:20:00,263 --> 00:20:01,597
I thought I wanted to know,
513
00:20:01,598 --> 00:20:04,543
but I realized I was only
considering my feelings.
514
00:20:04,544 --> 00:20:07,192
I didn't even stop to think
about how this would affect them.
515
00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:08,579
And besides,
516
00:20:09,047 --> 00:20:11,052
I already have a really great dad.
517
00:20:12,882 --> 00:20:14,862
But don't you want to know who he is?
518
00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:16,218
How you came to be you?
519
00:20:16,521 --> 00:20:18,655
Why you have giant feet and tiny hands?
520
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:22,279
This could be the greatest thing
that's ever happened to you.
521
00:20:24,315 --> 00:20:25,632
He's here, isn't he?
522
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,357
Pretty much.
523
00:20:27,831 --> 00:20:29,599
(Sighs)
524
00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:34,171
Hi.
525
00:20:35,566 --> 00:20:36,845
I'm Riley.
526
00:20:37,623 --> 00:20:38,696
Your daughter.
527
00:20:39,110 --> 00:20:40,039
(Chuckles)
528
00:20:41,396 --> 00:20:42,696
(Chuckles)
529
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:50,794
(Knocks on door)
530
00:20:53,636 --> 00:20:55,302
Tucker. What brings you by?
531
00:20:55,303 --> 00:20:57,581
Mrs. Wheeler, I just wanted to thank you
532
00:20:57,582 --> 00:20:59,303
for everything that you've done.
533
00:20:59,304 --> 00:21:00,721
Ah ha!
534
00:21:01,670 --> 00:21:05,488
I know that you and my father
weren't trying to hurt anyone.
535
00:21:05,489 --> 00:21:07,653
In fact, I think you helped him.
536
00:21:07,654 --> 00:21:08,699
Gotcha!
537
00:21:10,187 --> 00:21:11,504
All right.
538
00:21:11,505 --> 00:21:13,003
Well, have a good night, Mrs. Wheeler.
539
00:21:13,004 --> 00:21:14,235
And remember...
540
00:21:14,236 --> 00:21:16,653
I can stop by anytime.
541
00:21:16,654 --> 00:21:18,623
You are always more than welcome.
542
00:21:18,624 --> 00:21:19,729
Okay.
543
00:21:21,826 --> 00:21:23,116
I thought he'd never leave.