1
00:00:06,015 --> 00:00:08,202
This is the story of 10 strangers,

2
00:00:08,203 --> 00:00:13,469
one night, and all the stupid,
embarrassing, ridiculous things we do...

3
00:00:15,091 --> 00:00:16,791
To find love.

4
00:00:20,329 --> 00:00:22,931
Seriously, I could kill
her. Like, where is she?

5
00:00:22,999 --> 00:00:24,733
Why'd we get Liv get so drunk?

6
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,734
Hey, there she is!

7
00:00:25,801 --> 00:00:27,769
Liv, stay there! We're coming!

8
00:00:27,837 --> 00:00:29,838
Oh, my God, Ron. You're so funny.

9
00:00:31,173 --> 00:00:33,041
Tell me about your horrible job.

10
00:00:33,109 --> 00:00:34,809
I don't know why they call it a barn.

11
00:00:34,877 --> 00:00:36,878
Oh, my God! What the hell?

12
00:00:36,946 --> 00:00:38,747
Hey, no, Liv! No kissing
the nice man! All right!

13
00:00:38,814 --> 00:00:39,981
Up. Up. Up. Up.

14
00:00:40,049 --> 00:00:41,683
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She's drunk.

15
00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,351
She doesn't know what
she's doing. She's going...

16
00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:50,392
Liv, did you call your fiancé?

17
00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:53,094
Because... he's here.

18
00:00:56,164 --> 00:00:59,533
Oh, crap.

19
00:00:59,568 --> 00:01:01,836
Do you think he can see me?

20
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,587
<b>Sync and corrected by thatjulio
www.addic7ed.com</b>

21
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What the hell are you doing?

22
00:01:12,314 --> 00:01:13,714
You must be the fiancé.

23
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,249
Whoa!

24
00:01:15,317 --> 00:01:16,750
Oh, my God!

25
00:01:16,818 --> 00:01:19,820
- Hey, watch it, buddy. What are you...
- Back off, bro!

26
00:01:19,888 --> 00:01:21,122
Oh, my God.

27
00:01:21,189 --> 00:01:23,090
Uh, Jim?

28
00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:25,059
Jim, wait!

29
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,797
No, I'm okay. Thanks, everyone. Um...

30
00:01:29,865 --> 00:01:31,832
Ooh.

31
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,335
God, I love a Scorpion
Bowl. They're so dangerous.

32
00:01:34,402 --> 00:01:36,637
Dude, remember the last
time we got one of these?

33
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,372
Tom got so drunk, he ran into a tree.

34
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,107
Yeah, you moron.

35
00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:42,510
What can I say? I crashed like Crawley!

36
00:01:42,577 --> 00:01:45,079
Crashed like Crawley! That is genius!

37
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,914
What does that mean?

38
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:49,183
Like Matthew Crawley, from
"Downton Abbey," when he dies?

39
00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:50,684
Mnh.

40
00:01:50,752 --> 00:01:52,653
Matthew Crawley dies?

41
00:01:54,089 --> 00:01:57,124
Have you two been watching
season three without me?!

42
00:01:57,192 --> 00:01:59,260
No. What?

43
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:01,629
Oh, my God! You have!

44
00:02:03,721 --> 00:02:04,843
Look, it's not personal,

45
00:02:04,844 --> 00:02:06,966
but sometimes it's really
hard to watch TV with you.

46
00:02:06,967 --> 00:02:08,813
You just make fun of
everything the whole time.

47
00:02:08,814 --> 00:02:09,928
I concur.

48
00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:12,606
Okay, that's super-personal. Like when?

49
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,609
Like when you said "period dramas
are for people on their periods."

50
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,278
That's awesome.

51
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,614
I said that? It's funny.

52
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,317
Sometimes me and Cal, we
get together, and we...

53
00:02:23,384 --> 00:02:25,786
We watch TV on our own,
and it's really nice. Yeah.

54
00:02:25,853 --> 00:02:28,155
Tom makes the best finger sandwiches.

55
00:02:28,222 --> 00:02:29,790
Oh, oh, does he? I'm
so glad you like those.

56
00:02:29,857 --> 00:02:31,558
I really do. I really

57
00:02:31,626 --> 00:02:34,795
That's great. That's it.

58
00:02:34,862 --> 00:02:38,131
I am sick of carrying this team and
not getting the recognition I deserve.

59
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:41,935
I am done with you nerds.

60
00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,438
And I'm taking my Scorpion Bowl. Come on.

61
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:45,939
You know we can just
order another one, right?

62
00:02:46,007 --> 00:02:47,140
Where are you going?

63
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:52,846
Well, I'm gonna go find some new friends
who appreciate my skills and my talents.

64
00:02:52,914 --> 00:02:54,681
- What skills?
- What talents?

65
00:02:54,749 --> 00:02:57,050
I'm very good at table tennis.

66
00:02:58,353 --> 00:03:01,688
I'm excellent at recording songs off
the radio that all of us like to enjoy.

67
00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:07,227
And I'm phenomenal hugger,
and you know that, Cal.

68
00:03:09,997 --> 00:03:11,998
Did he just dump us?

69
00:03:14,301 --> 00:03:17,203
- Jessica, I just wanted to say...
- Please don't.

70
00:03:17,271 --> 00:03:19,072
It is a complicated situation.

71
00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:20,440
Mm, really?

72
00:03:20,508 --> 00:03:23,209
No, because you showed up
drunk, you puked in my purse,

73
00:03:23,277 --> 00:03:25,445
and then you kissed another
girl while I was talking to you.

74
00:03:25,513 --> 00:03:27,247
What's complicated about any of that? Yeah.

75
00:03:28,014 --> 00:03:30,082
When you list it like
that, in sequential order,

76
00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:31,817
it makes me sound like a total wanker.

77
00:03:33,487 --> 00:03:36,689
Or maybe I am just... A total wanker.

78
00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:42,027
I'm really sorry.

79
00:03:44,865 --> 00:03:45,865
He's so cute.

80
00:03:45,932 --> 00:03:47,466
Really?

81
00:03:49,836 --> 00:03:51,971
Jim!

82
00:03:52,038 --> 00:03:53,405
Jim! Stop!

83
00:03:53,473 --> 00:03:54,874
What's going on, Liv?

84
00:03:55,541 --> 00:04:01,246
I'm sorry. I went a little crazy
tonight, but seeing you here in your vest,

85
00:04:01,314 --> 00:04:03,815
I just... I know I want to be with you.

86
00:04:03,883 --> 00:04:08,787
We're just making such a big decision,
and I think I freaked out a little bit.

87
00:04:08,855 --> 00:04:12,057
The truth is, Liv and Jim
were perfect for each other.

88
00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:15,994
Jim was owner and executive chef
at a chic Manhattan restaurant.

89
00:04:16,062 --> 00:04:19,831
Liv loved all of Jim's food,
even his head cheese soup,

90
00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:23,235
which pretty much
everyone agreed was gross.

91
00:04:23,302 --> 00:04:25,504
Jim's success afforded him
a sweet Manhattan apartment.

92
00:04:25,571 --> 00:04:29,841
They even had one of those TVs
that comes out of the cabinet.

93
00:04:32,211 --> 00:04:33,745
Jim was the complete package.

94
00:04:33,812 --> 00:04:36,280
He was a great friend,

95
00:04:36,348 --> 00:04:38,216
he was great with kids,

96
00:04:38,283 --> 00:04:40,618
he was even great with old people.

97
00:04:40,686 --> 00:04:43,921
But most importantly, Liv
and Jim were compatible...

98
00:04:43,989 --> 00:04:46,324
Like scary-compatible.

99
00:04:46,392 --> 00:04:49,938
Have you ever been to one of Jim
and Liv's magic nights before?

100
00:04:49,939 --> 00:04:52,142
- Nope.
- They're amazing.

101
00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:00,269
Whoo! Ohh!

102
00:05:00,994 --> 00:05:02,682
Is this a joke?

103
00:05:03,185 --> 00:05:04,344
Oh!

104
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,574
Welcome to Jim and Liv's magic night!

105
00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:09,061
Night, night, night, night.

106
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,057
I'm Jim, the Fanciful,

107
00:05:13,058 --> 00:05:16,451
and this is my beautiful assistant, Liv!

108
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,177
That's not even magic.

109
00:05:19,178 --> 00:05:21,825
- That's just a fake hand.
- That was good. That was good.

110
00:05:21,893 --> 00:05:26,639
For my next trick, I'm going to make
my beautiful girlfriend disappear.

111
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:27,709
Oh!

112
00:05:27,710 --> 00:05:31,023
Honey, I heard there's
a sale at the shoe store.

113
00:05:32,694 --> 00:05:35,601
So long! Loves shoes, this one.

114
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,889
- That was good.
- I need cooler friends.

115
00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:42,111
Maybe they were a little
dorky... or even a lot dorky...

116
00:05:42,179 --> 00:05:44,714
But Liv and Jim were
perfect for each other.

117
00:05:44,781 --> 00:05:47,249
So perfect it sort of makes you wonder...

118
00:05:47,317 --> 00:05:49,385
What the hell was Liv thinking?

119
00:05:49,453 --> 00:05:52,421
What the hell was I thinking?

120
00:05:52,489 --> 00:05:54,790
I don't know, Liv.

121
00:05:54,858 --> 00:05:56,459
- But I'm done.
- What?!

122
00:05:58,428 --> 00:05:59,595
Excuse me.

123
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:03,265
Liv, are you okay? Hey? Hey?

124
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:05,835
- Where's Jim going?
- I don't know.

125
00:06:05,902 --> 00:06:09,205
Our apartment is uptown but he
just marched off down that way,

126
00:06:09,272 --> 00:06:12,041
and I feel like he doesn't want
to look silly by turning around.

127
00:06:13,543 --> 00:06:16,579
I really hurt him, Maya.

128
00:06:16,646 --> 00:06:19,148
Look at me. Look at me.

129
00:06:19,816 --> 00:06:23,552
You just dodged the
biggest bullet of your life.

130
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,487
Then why do I feel so bad?

131
00:06:25,555 --> 00:06:27,656
Because you're a girl, and
you don't like hurting people.

132
00:06:27,724 --> 00:06:30,192
Liv, don't go wobbly on this, okay?

133
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,295
Marrying Jim would have been like
marrying a house plant or a piece of toast.

134
00:06:35,565 --> 00:06:37,666
I got to go get him, Maya.

135
00:06:37,734 --> 00:06:39,968
- Liv...
- I want him back.

136
00:06:40,036 --> 00:06:42,504
Are you sure?

137
00:06:42,572 --> 00:06:43,672
Yeah.

138
00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:49,945
Okay, let's go get him back, then.

139
00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:04,080
What's up, fellas?

140
00:07:04,148 --> 00:07:06,349
Uh, you mind if me and my
Scorpion Bowl take a seat?

141
00:07:06,417 --> 00:07:07,750
Uh, sure!

142
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:10,620
Give me a straw, bro! Give me a straw.

143
00:07:10,688 --> 00:07:12,722
Awesome, yeah. Get in
there. My name is Bruce, man.

144
00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:15,954
I like big, fake boobs, deep house
beats, and movies with explosions.

145
00:07:15,955 --> 00:07:18,568
I like this guy! Right?

146
00:07:18,569 --> 00:07:22,647
- What a find!
- Yes! Yes!

147
00:07:22,648 --> 00:07:24,697
This guy's hilarious.

148
00:07:25,026 --> 00:07:27,967
Well, he certainly found
new friends quickly.

149
00:07:27,968 --> 00:07:29,197
He opens strong. Give it time.

150
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,274
I mean, I'm really
having fun with just you.

151
00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:34,176
Oh, totally. This is a blast!

152
00:07:41,642 --> 00:07:43,273
- How's your dog?
- I don't have a dog.

153
00:07:43,808 --> 00:07:44,720
Hey.

154
00:07:44,787 --> 00:07:47,089
I saw what happened
before. This one's on me.

155
00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:51,960
Oh, thank you, but I am heading off
before my night can get any worse.

156
00:07:52,028 --> 00:07:54,095
Hey. No, no, no, no. You can't give up.

157
00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:55,196
Ask your friend.

158
00:07:55,264 --> 00:07:57,032
Oh, no.

159
00:07:57,533 --> 00:08:01,035
Look, I gave up on my music, and your
friend said a lot of very mean stuff to me.

160
00:08:01,103 --> 00:08:04,972
So I picked up my guitar, and it
changed my life forever... I think.

161
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,375
I mean, this only happened an hour ago.

162
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:11,045
And, I'm sorry, what does this
have to do with me leaving the bar?

163
00:08:11,113 --> 00:08:12,780
It means you can't give up on your dreams

164
00:08:12,848 --> 00:08:15,616
because they always come true
the second time you try them.

165
00:08:15,684 --> 00:08:16,851
Not at all what I said.

166
00:08:16,919 --> 00:08:18,786
Look, I have a break
coming up in five minutes.

167
00:08:18,854 --> 00:08:21,322
So why don't you stay, have a drink?

168
00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,725
And then I'm gonna rock your world.

169
00:08:25,893 --> 00:08:26,760
Oh, my.

170
00:08:26,828 --> 00:08:28,862
Uh, wo... wow!

171
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:31,298
You know what?

172
00:08:31,366 --> 00:08:32,466
Okay.

173
00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:33,800
Okay.

174
00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:34,968
Drink up.

175
00:08:37,972 --> 00:08:41,408
And that is why I'm from Ohio
but still love the Lakers.

176
00:08:42,877 --> 00:08:44,578
And the Lakers are...?

177
00:08:44,645 --> 00:08:46,263
- Basketball.
- Yes!

178
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:48,240
Basketball. Michael Jordan.

179
00:08:48,983 --> 00:08:50,717
Oh, yeah! I'm dying! I'm dying!

180
00:08:50,785 --> 00:08:52,052
I'm dying! I'm dying! Oh!

181
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,154
God, he's killing it over there.

182
00:08:54,722 --> 00:08:56,723
And so I said to the
guy, "I don't know, bro.

183
00:08:56,790 --> 00:08:59,526
That's not my cucumber."

184
00:08:59,593 --> 00:09:03,196
That is the funniest thing
I've ever heard in my life!

185
00:09:03,264 --> 00:09:05,165
I know. I know.

186
00:09:05,232 --> 00:09:07,267
It is. Okay, okay. I got to know. Yeah?

187
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:08,735
Do you do stand-up comedy, Bruce?

188
00:09:08,803 --> 00:09:10,804
Nah, dude. I don't really do
jokes, you know what I mean?

189
00:09:11,371 --> 00:09:13,239
My comedy is more, uh,
edgy and improvisational.

190
00:09:13,307 --> 00:09:14,573
Ohh.

191
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,776
So, what are you doing
Saturday? Your mother?

192
00:09:16,843 --> 00:09:18,844
He's doing your mom!

193
00:09:18,912 --> 00:09:21,213
Because I'm getting married,

194
00:09:21,281 --> 00:09:22,515
and I'd really like you to be there.

195
00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:23,616
Oh, yeah?! Really?! Yeah!

196
00:09:23,684 --> 00:09:25,017
Oh, Jeff! I'll be there! Oh!

197
00:09:25,085 --> 00:09:26,686
Oh, dude! Awesome! Yeah.

198
00:09:26,753 --> 00:09:28,807
- Well, what are we celebrating tonight?
- Oh, dude!

199
00:09:28,808 --> 00:09:30,839
- It is Dave's birthday.
- What?! Dave?!

200
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:31,908
Yes, it is. It's my birthday.

201
00:09:31,909 --> 00:09:34,354
What?! This is a birthday party?!

202
00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:36,661
Oh, wow! You guys don't look
like you're in 3rd grade!

203
00:09:39,132 --> 00:09:40,265
What do you mean, Bruce?

204
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:42,234
Yeah, can you explain your joke, Bruce?

205
00:09:42,302 --> 00:09:43,669
You know, it's like, uh,

206
00:09:43,736 --> 00:09:46,171
aren't we a little too old to
be celebrating our birthdays?

207
00:09:46,239 --> 00:09:47,773
I mean, congrats on turning 27.

208
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,008
You went another year without dying!

209
00:09:51,411 --> 00:09:52,477
You know, what an amazing feat,

210
00:09:52,545 --> 00:09:53,812
you didn't fall down a manhole this year!

211
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,581
Oh, you lived again? Cool.

212
00:09:56,649 --> 00:09:58,817
Loser. Who cares?

213
00:09:58,885 --> 00:10:00,952
I've been planning this
night for three months, dude.

214
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,220
Three months?

215
00:10:02,288 --> 00:10:04,619
Yeah, Dave loves his birthdays, man. Hmm.

216
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,266
Yeah, maybe you should go, Bruce.

217
00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:08,189
You're actually kind of obnoxious. Yeah.

218
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,783
- I miss funny Bruce.
- Me, too.

219
00:10:09,784 --> 00:10:11,559
You know, yeah, I got to
go, anyw... what is it?

220
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,840
- Whoa, I got to get out of here.
- I'll probably just...

221
00:10:13,841 --> 00:10:15,685
Yeah. See you guys at Jeff's wedding.

222
00:10:15,686 --> 00:10:18,791
Yeah, I just found out we
don't have room anymore.

223
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,348
Oh, that's too bad, because I'm
still coming, with a plus-one.

224
00:10:21,349 --> 00:10:23,784
- You're not invited.
- I'm still coming, Jeff!

225
00:10:23,785 --> 00:10:25,263
- No!
- Yes!

226
00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:28,679
- Jim!
- He doesn't even know where he's going.

227
00:10:28,747 --> 00:10:30,414
Jim! Jim!

228
00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:31,749
I'm sorry I hurt you.

229
00:10:31,816 --> 00:10:36,387
I just got so wrapped up in my own
stuff that I forgot to think about you.

230
00:10:36,454 --> 00:10:38,622
Well, it's too late.

231
00:10:39,858 --> 00:10:42,860
Look, Jim. We both know
that I don't like you.

232
00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:44,828
No, I-I-I
didn't know that.

233
00:10:44,896 --> 00:10:46,764
I've told you you're boring
like a thousand times.

234
00:10:46,831 --> 00:10:48,899
- I thought you were kidding!
- No.

235
00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,601
I told you she wasn't kidding.

236
00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:52,436
The point is, I don't like you.

237
00:10:53,004 --> 00:10:56,673
So, tonight, I tried to get Liv to
spread her wings and live a little

238
00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:58,642
and maybe even think
twice about marrying you.

239
00:10:58,709 --> 00:11:02,913
But kissing random dudes and giving
guys her panties isn't who Liv is.

240
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,048
You gave guys your panties?

241
00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:08,051
- Technically they were Maya's panties.
- The bottom line is...

242
00:11:08,119 --> 00:11:13,790
Liv is still the same cute, dorky,
awesome girl you fell in love with.

243
00:11:13,858 --> 00:11:16,126
Don't throw away everything
the two of you have built

244
00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:18,261
just because I made her
go crazy for one night.

245
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,197
That's stupid.

246
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:22,232
Look at her, Jim.

247
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,067
She loves you.

248
00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:29,705
- I don't know why. Look at that outfit...
- Okay, thank you, Maya.

249
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:34,677
I guess... I got a little nervous
about getting married, too.

250
00:11:34,745 --> 00:11:36,646
The day I proposed,

251
00:11:36,713 --> 00:11:39,448
I put a radish in a bouillabaisse.

252
00:11:39,516 --> 00:11:40,516
Whoa.

253
00:11:40,584 --> 00:11:42,752
I know. It was insane.

254
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:47,023
Can we just go home and put on our
pajamas and watch "Mike & Molly"?

255
00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:49,692
Tonight's the episode where
Molly eats too much pie.

256
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,160
Oh, I love that one.

257
00:11:52,429 --> 00:11:53,596
Let's go home.

258
00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,102
I'll get us a cab.

259
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,405
You're an amazing friend.

260
00:12:06,477 --> 00:12:08,778
Bye!

261
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,210
I was going to save this as a surprise,

262
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:28,647
but I got us tickets to
"La Bohéme" for next Friday.

263
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:32,084
Ooh, the opera. How exciting.

264
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:36,055
Oh, and they're using the original
arias, so this is the extended version.

265
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:39,692
That does sound longer.

266
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:47,055
Gummybear? You okay?

267
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:50,892
No, dude. Gummybear was not okay.

268
00:12:50,893 --> 00:12:53,647
Like all couples who've
been dating for a while,

269
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:56,187
Jim and Liv eventually
fell into a comfortable rut.

270
00:12:56,188 --> 00:12:58,759
So Liv decided to spruce it up.

271
00:12:59,859 --> 00:13:00,845
Hey, honey?

272
00:13:00,912 --> 00:13:04,148
- Hey, Liv, look... I'm juggling!
- I want to go to India.

273
00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,484
- What does that mean?
- I just want more, Jim.

274
00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:10,087
Is this an "Eat, Pray, Love" thing?

275
00:13:10,155 --> 00:13:11,589
No!

276
00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:13,157
Maybe.

277
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:15,359
Obviously yes.

278
00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:18,863
But it's also a "me
thing". I'm restless, Jim.

279
00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:21,554
What if we did something
a little more local?

280
00:13:21,555 --> 00:13:23,667
My parents have that
time-share in Boca Raton.

281
00:13:23,735 --> 00:13:26,370
Damn it, Jim! It has to be India!

282
00:13:26,437 --> 00:13:29,106
I want to go and dance with wise old men!

283
00:13:29,173 --> 00:13:31,608
I want to eat food that might kill me.

284
00:13:31,676 --> 00:13:33,643
And I want to play with elephants.

285
00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:36,412
And I want to meet Omar Sharif.

286
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:37,547
Let's do that.

287
00:13:37,615 --> 00:13:39,749
- Oh, my God, seriously?!
- Yeah.

288
00:13:39,817 --> 00:13:41,151
Oh, thank you, babe. Oh, my God!

289
00:13:41,218 --> 00:13:42,919
But they never went.

290
00:13:42,987 --> 00:13:44,787
There was always a reason not to go.

291
00:13:44,855 --> 00:13:46,656
First, Jim got a new job.

292
00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:48,525
Then it was too close to the holidays.

293
00:13:48,592 --> 00:13:50,393
Then Jim wanted to go to magic camp.

294
00:13:50,461 --> 00:13:54,497
And with every passing year,
Liv only got more restless.

295
00:13:54,565 --> 00:13:58,401
'Cause if you don't like
"La Bohéme," that's fine.

296
00:13:58,469 --> 00:14:00,003
We can do anything.

297
00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:03,039
I heard The Guggenheim has a new vase.

298
00:14:03,107 --> 00:14:04,683
Stop the cab!

299
00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:08,277
I want to go to India right now.

300
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:10,112
If we don't, I'm gonna explode.

301
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:12,047
But what about our jobs and the wedding?

302
00:14:12,415 --> 00:14:14,983
Plus, I thought we were gonna
start trying to get pregnant.

303
00:14:15,051 --> 00:14:17,519
If we're gonna have five
kids, then we gotta start soon.

304
00:14:17,587 --> 00:14:19,521
It's common to get cold
feet before a wedding.

305
00:14:19,589 --> 00:14:23,258
Sadly, it's also common to
marry the absolute wrong person.

306
00:14:23,326 --> 00:14:27,295
The hard part is discerning which is which.

307
00:14:49,645 --> 00:14:51,849
So, where do you think
he's gonna rock your world?

308
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,474
Honestly, I don't even care at this point.

309
00:14:54,475 --> 00:14:55,872
I would have sex with him in a landfill.

310
00:14:57,391 --> 00:14:59,148
Hey! Hey!

311
00:14:59,961 --> 00:15:02,396
I want to dedicate this song

312
00:15:02,464 --> 00:15:05,499
to a beautiful woman who's had a
tough night tonight. Oh, my God.

313
00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:07,634
- No. No. No. No. No.
- To Jerrica!

314
00:15:07,702 --> 00:15:09,837
Oh, thank God. Uh, uh, no!

315
00:15:09,904 --> 00:15:11,638
I mean Jessica, right
there in the red dress!

316
00:15:11,706 --> 00:15:13,941
Everybody look at her!

317
00:15:15,944 --> 00:15:17,277
Is everybody looking?

318
00:15:17,345 --> 00:15:18,879
Uh-huh. Turn around.

319
00:15:20,381 --> 00:15:25,252
I think this is what he meant when
he said he was gonna rock your...

320
00:15:25,253 --> 00:15:26,393
Yep! Already got that.

321
00:15:26,394 --> 00:15:28,303
Yeah.

322
00:15:29,344 --> 00:15:30,884
♪ Cheer up, girl ♪

323
00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:34,193
♪ Please don't cry ♪

324
00:15:34,261 --> 00:15:39,098
♪ Cheer up, girl ♪
♪
What? Did someone die? ♪

325
00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:41,634
Oh.

326
00:15:41,702 --> 00:15:45,137
Yeah. All right.

327
00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:50,443
♪ Your smile is like a plane ticket ♪

328
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:52,712
♪ I really want to book it ♪

329
00:15:52,779 --> 00:15:56,282
♪ Your smile is like ♪
♪ Richard Nixon, yeah ♪

330
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:58,651
♪ It's very, very crooked ♪

331
00:15:58,719 --> 00:16:00,953
Did he say I was Richard Nixon?

332
00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:03,753
I'm surprised he even
knows who Richard Nixon is.

333
00:16:06,057 --> 00:16:09,619
♪ So, baby, smile those tears away ♪

334
00:16:10,266 --> 00:16:12,263
This guy is very bad at singing.

335
00:16:12,331 --> 00:16:15,445
God, this is the day that
music died. Am I right?

336
00:16:15,446 --> 00:16:19,978
♪ Your eyes like a construction site ♪
♪ With dump trucks, diggers & cranes ♪

337
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,072
Dude, we suck at this. Bruce
would know exactly what to say!

338
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:24,776
I bet he's somewhere ripping
this guy apart. Where is he?

339
00:16:24,844 --> 00:16:26,511
- ♪ A little bit insane ♪
- Can you believe this guy?

340
00:16:26,579 --> 00:16:29,883
Yeah, he's so brave to put
himself out there like this.

341
00:16:29,884 --> 00:16:31,707
- ♪ Baby, I want to hear you say ♪
- What?

342
00:16:33,007 --> 00:16:38,622
♪ I'm gonna smile those tears away ♪

343
00:16:38,690 --> 00:16:44,695
♪ Ooh, baby, smile ♪
♪ Cry those tears away ♪

344
00:16:44,762 --> 00:16:50,367
♪ Yah, it gets better ♪
♪ Even if you're not gay ♪

345
00:16:50,435 --> 00:16:53,103
♪ You're a cutie, you're a beauty ♪

346
00:16:53,171 --> 00:16:56,640
♪ You've got crazy, Ghetto Booty ♪

347
00:16:56,708 --> 00:17:00,110
♪ So, baby, smile those tears away ♪

348
00:17:00,178 --> 00:17:05,249
♪ Baby, smile those tears away ♪

349
00:17:17,628 --> 00:17:20,063
I'm so sorry we watched
"Downton Abbey" without you!

350
00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:22,365
It's okay. I get it.

351
00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:25,201
Sometimes I'm so funny, it
makes you guys feel inferior.

352
00:17:25,269 --> 00:17:26,836
Yeah, that's not really our issue.

353
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:30,106
Do you want to watch "The Voice" with us?

354
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,608
A show about four spinning
chairs? My barber has that.

355
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:35,712
I would love to rip
that show with you guys.

356
00:17:35,779 --> 00:17:37,780
- Yeah, he didn't learn anything.
- Not even a little.

357
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,649
I'm gonna talk through the whole thing

358
00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:43,027
and make fun of CeeLo's
weird, scrunchy Buddha body.

359
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:44,989
At least we'll be together.

360
00:17:45,155 --> 00:17:46,556
Oh, you guys!

361
00:17:47,423 --> 00:17:52,027
♪ Your smile is as delicious ♪
♪ As a bacon cheeseburger ♪

362
00:17:52,095 --> 00:17:57,466
♪ Your smile can land a plane ♪
♪ Like Captain Sully Sullenberger ♪

363
00:17:58,034 --> 00:17:59,334
Ah!

364
00:17:59,402 --> 00:18:03,905
♪ Ooh, baby, smile ♪
♪ Let me see those teeth ♪

365
00:18:03,973 --> 00:18:06,675
♪ If you could just stop crying ♪

366
00:18:06,742 --> 00:18:08,209
- ♪ It would be a relief ♪
- Hey.

367
00:18:08,277 --> 00:18:10,345
Hey! What are you doing here?

368
00:18:10,413 --> 00:18:12,080
♪ You're a cutie, you're a beauty ♪

369
00:18:12,148 --> 00:18:15,850
I... it's over with Jim.
I broke off our engagement.

370
00:18:15,918 --> 00:18:20,188
Wow! Okay. Um... are you okay?

371
00:18:20,256 --> 00:18:23,024
Yeah. ♪ you smile those tears away ♪

372
00:18:23,092 --> 00:18:25,360
I probably should've
done that a long time ago.

373
00:18:28,364 --> 00:18:32,567
Mnh. Come here.

374
00:18:33,635 --> 00:18:36,971
♪ Don't hide your feelings ♪
♪ In your pocket ♪

375
00:18:38,638 --> 00:18:41,049
- What is this song?
- I don't know.

376
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,604
♪ Don't lock 'em in a locket ♪

377
00:18:42,605 --> 00:18:46,426
I don't think anyone knows.

378
00:18:46,427 --> 00:18:47,936
♪ Smile those tears away ♪

379
00:18:47,937 --> 00:18:55,269
♪ Baby, smile those tears away ♪

380
00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,434
Can I get a scotch?

381
00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:11,769
- Can I get a...
- Hey, chief?!

382
00:19:11,837 --> 00:19:14,072
- Hi! Eye contact.
- Hey, guy!

383
00:19:14,139 --> 00:19:16,040
Yeah, they never see
me 'cause I'm too short.

384
00:19:16,108 --> 00:19:17,842
Yeah, well, there never
see me, 'cause I have balls.

385
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:19,556
- Hey, guy!
- Hi!

386
00:19:19,557 --> 00:19:21,479
- Okay, what do you need?
- A scotch.

387
00:19:21,547 --> 00:19:24,482
- I got this.
- Hi!

388
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:26,284
There's that.

389
00:19:26,352 --> 00:19:28,052
Whoa!

390
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,487
Everything all right over there?

391
00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:30,755
No, sir. It is not.

392
00:19:30,823 --> 00:19:33,358
We need a scotch and
three vodka tonics, please.

393
00:19:33,425 --> 00:19:35,159
All right. Coming right up.

394
00:19:35,227 --> 00:19:36,761
- Thank you.
- Thanks.

395
00:19:36,829 --> 00:19:38,596
It's Bruce, right?

396
00:19:38,664 --> 00:19:39,697
- Yeah. It's Maya, right?
- Yeah.

397
00:19:39,765 --> 00:19:40,665
Yeah.

398
00:19:49,008 --> 00:19:51,576
Hm? Mnh, no.

399
00:19:51,644 --> 00:19:52,777
Wait, who's that?

400
00:19:52,845 --> 00:19:54,545
- The Dowager Countess.
- The Dowager Countess.

401
00:19:54,613 --> 00:19:56,748
- Why does she talk funny?
- She's British.

402
00:19:56,815 --> 00:19:59,083
Mm.

403
00:19:59,151 --> 00:20:00,560
World War I looks really easy, dude.

404
00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:02,232
I think I could've beat
World War I on my own.

405
00:20:04,628 --> 00:20:08,336
- Oh, do they show boobs in this?
- No, it's PBS.

406
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,507
- Are there any wizards on it?
- No.

407
00:20:10,508 --> 00:20:11,998
Then why are we watching this show?

408
00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:16,203
Ugh, guys, come on. This show's boring!

409
00:20:21,674 --> 00:20:24,308
Wait, why aren't they getting married?

410
00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:26,046
Her father said she
couldn't because he's Irish.

411
00:20:26,047 --> 00:20:27,171
I'm Irish.

412
00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:28,891
That's very racist.

413
00:20:29,421 --> 00:20:31,045
That's very racist.

414
00:20:33,381 --> 00:20:34,902
But this is crazy, they love each...

415
00:20:34,903 --> 00:20:36,071
They're in love.

416
00:20:39,957 --> 00:20:41,254
What?

417
00:20:41,255 --> 00:20:43,896
This show is stupidy, make it louder.

418
00:20:44,732 --> 00:20:46,762
<b>Sync and corrected by thatjulio
www.addic7ed.com</b>