1 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,480 Wait, Bron-Bron, 2 00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:06,950 does Chris Keith know you exist yet? 3 00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:09,460 - No, but I think he senses me. - Have you tried 4 00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,520 dropping a pencil in front of him like I taught you? 5 00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:13,230 I think that's too adult. 6 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,860 No, it's only adult if you pick it up with no hands. 7 00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:16,200 I can pick up a pencil with one foot 8 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,860 and then sharpen it with the other. 9 00:00:17,870 --> 00:00:19,500 And you don't have a boyfriend? 10 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,230 I know, right? 11 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,040 I think you need to try Internet dating. 12 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,070 I don't know, my sister had a really bad experience. 13 00:00:25,070 --> 00:00:26,940 They matched her up with, like, a 300-pound guy. 14 00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:28,670 Why would an Internet dating site 15 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,510 hook her up with a guy that's so much smaller than her? 16 00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:33,380 Oh, there's my dad. 17 00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,510 It's his weekend with me. 18 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,120 - See you next week. - Bye. 19 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,420 - See ya. - Bye. 20 00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:40,850 Why does Bronwen's dad look so familiar? 21 00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:42,520 He sells fancy houses to rich people. 22 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,390 His face is on billboards and park benches all over town. 23 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,130 He's Million Dollar Mike? 24 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,730 I've sat on his face a bunch of times! 25 00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:52,030 I left my violin inside. 26 00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:54,170 But look, my dad got me this cute bag. 27 00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:56,300 He had to cancel our weekend away and felt bad. 28 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,440 Okay, girls, hit me with a quick one. 29 00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:11,250 - Thanks. - Hey! 30 00:01:12,450 --> 00:01:15,750 Hi. 31 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,990 Disregard the lollipop; it's an oral fixation. 32 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,620 - Wow. - You must be Bronwen's daddy. 33 00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:21,990 I have heard so much about you. 34 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,430 But nothing about how handsome you are in person. 35 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,500 And you must be Bronwen's teacher, Ms., uh... 36 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,800 Ms. Davis. But it's, uh, Meredith to you. 37 00:01:31,810 --> 00:01:33,370 Meredith, oh, she braids your hair. 38 00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:35,110 I was under the impression that you were a student. 39 00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:36,370 And I'm under the impression 40 00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:37,740 you're taking me to dinner Monday. 41 00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:39,240 I'm gonna take you out to dinner Monday? 42 00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:40,650 I mean, I hardly know you. 43 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,850 But I would love to. 44 00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:45,180 Well, that would, uh, that would be fun, uh... 45 00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:47,750 just a heads up, since the divorce, 46 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:50,660 Bronwen has to approve of any girl that I date. 47 00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:53,430 You know, she's a daddy's girl, so that's one rule I can't break 48 00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:55,360 no matter how fast you get 49 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,100 to the center of that 50 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,000 - Tootsie Pop. - Well, don't worry, 51 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,970 Bronwen and I are in Safety Patrol together 52 00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:02,200 and we're very good friends. 53 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,940 I mean, if I had to have a sister, 54 00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:07,510 and she had to be brunette, I would want it to be Bronwen. 55 00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:08,610 We're that close. 56 00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:10,910 Great. Well, if she says yes, 57 00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:14,350 you can get my number off of any billboard or park bench. 58 00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:15,980 - I'm just kidding. - Oh. 59 00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:17,720 I'm actually not kidding. 60 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,880 You can get my number off of any billboard or park bench. 61 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,450 So I'll just keep my fingers crossed. 62 00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:24,290 - Bye, Meredith. - Bye, honey. 63 00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:28,660 I'll see you on Monday. 64 00:02:28,660 --> 00:02:31,830 And I'll see you on Monday night. 65 00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:37,300 Here. Now you know how to use it. 66 00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:47,140 Good news, everyone! 67 00:02:47,150 --> 00:02:49,710 The superintendent has just informed me 68 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,350 that it is time for our yearly locker inspections. 69 00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:56,220 I'm not in love with this responsibility, 70 00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:59,790 but since my divorce, I'm trying to remain positive. 71 00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:01,590 Trying to see that glass as half full. 72 00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:04,090 Which it rarely is, as my roommate Ron 73 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,960 finishes my sodas when I doze off. 74 00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,830 But it's all good! 75 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,970 It's all good. 76 00:03:09,970 --> 00:03:12,340 A grown man with a roommate is so... 77 00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:13,340 Awesome. 78 00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:15,510 Right? 79 00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:18,180 So I've been too nervous to pull the trigger on Internet dating. 80 00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:19,880 But then Meredith inspired me. 81 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,080 So, I just asked my friends at the Ferret Club for a good site, 82 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,820 and they suggested JustSomebody.org. 83 00:03:25,820 --> 00:03:28,490 And I... I filled in my name and sex and I was done. 84 00:03:28,490 --> 00:03:31,160 That's all the information you need to find a match? 85 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,790 Yeah. 86 00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:34,430 Just somebody that doesn't ask a lot of questions. 87 00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:36,890 And they don't match so much as they "locate" others. 88 00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:39,500 You know, I guess that's their tagline anyway. 89 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:43,200 So, my first date is tomorrow night, and... 90 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,570 he is described as: male. 91 00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:48,170 Oh... 92 00:03:48,170 --> 00:03:50,040 Ooh... I would never date online. 93 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,980 Too dangerous. 94 00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:53,710 One minute you're meeting a guy for U Peel 'Em Shrimp, 95 00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:55,050 and the next thing you know, 96 00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:56,510 you're wrapped up in jumper cables, 97 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,920 trying to open a car trunk from the inside. 98 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,480 - Oh. - I'm just saying, 99 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,520 you should write your contact info on your arm. 100 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:07,790 That way the police will be able to quickly identify your body. 101 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,590 Okay, Kim, if you don't mind, 102 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,330 I'd like to start with your locker, as it's already open. 103 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:14,030 Sure, but be careful opening it, because 104 00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:15,600 I keep a lot of stuff... 105 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,100 You're not even supposed to have a locker 106 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:18,700 in the teachers' lounge. 107 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,300 You are a student teacher. 108 00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:22,370 Your locker should be with the students. 109 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:23,440 But I'm an adult. 110 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,540 It's okay. 111 00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:25,580 I'm used to messes. 112 00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:27,240 My roommate Ron is a hoarder. 113 00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:30,580 So I will just consider this locker more than half full. 114 00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:32,680 Because it's all good. 115 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:33,880 It is all good. 116 00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:35,450 Oh, Bron-Bron... 117 00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:37,590 I have huge news. 118 00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:40,760 What is the greatest thing that you could ever possibly imagine 119 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,490 happening in your whole life and then times it by three? 120 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,630 I am considering dating your dad. 121 00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:48,870 I know. 122 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,730 Let it sink in. 123 00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:52,000 Get over the shock. 124 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,370 And then hug me. 125 00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:55,740 Not a hugger, I get it! 126 00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,340 So when I spoke to your dad, 127 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,740 he said that I would need your approval to date him. 128 00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:03,050 Which is hilarious because obviously, 129 00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:05,320 as bestie FFs, I already know your answer. 130 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,220 It's a formality thing. 131 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:12,090 Sorry, but it would be weird having my teacher date my dad. 132 00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:14,090 But I'm your friend before I'm your teacher. 133 00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:16,390 I mean, who taught you how to do that pencil trick? 134 00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:18,800 And I was even gonna come to your stupid music thing 135 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,560 on Friday, pending my availability. 136 00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:23,900 I think it will be better if you don't date my dad. 137 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,910 That's so weird... for a second I thought she said 138 00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,240 don't date her dad. 139 00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:39,180 Hey, Irene, what's up? 140 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:40,620 Uh, I need your help. 141 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:42,820 I finally filled out my online dating profile 142 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,390 and I have my first date tomorrow at lunch. 143 00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:48,460 His profile name is TvWatcher359. 144 00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:52,390 Apparently I was not a match with TvWatcher one through 358. 145 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,360 But you don't seem too excited. 146 00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:56,270 Well, Ginny told me that online dating is dangerous 147 00:05:56,270 --> 00:05:57,700 and that I should go to Sears and get my portrait done 148 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,540 so that I have a cute picture 149 00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:01,970 for the "In Memoriam" section of next year's yearbook. 150 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,310 You know what? She's just being dramatic. 151 00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:05,370 Okay, but maybe you could just teach me 152 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,540 some self-defense moves just in case. 153 00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:09,380 You know, I do a little online dating, right? 154 00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,680 And I... I haven't murdered or tried to murder once. 155 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,980 You just gotta stay alert and be aware of your surroundings. 156 00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:16,050 - Okay, yeah. - Yeah. 157 00:06:16,050 --> 00:06:17,820 - I can do that. - Yeah. 158 00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:19,660 - Yeah. Thanks, Joel. All right. - No problem. 159 00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:25,330 You know what, buddy? On second thought, 160 00:06:25,330 --> 00:06:27,460 maybe I'll tag along just to be extra safe. 161 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,700 Good idea. 162 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,570 Bronwen, here's the thing that I love about our friendship: 163 00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:34,370 We don't just have problems, we fix problems. 164 00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:37,510 And me being your teacher is a fixable problem. 165 00:06:37,510 --> 00:06:38,940 Watch. 166 00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:42,340 Principal Carl... 167 00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:44,410 Just a sec, I'm trying to loosen up this towel, 168 00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:45,810 which is petrified, 169 00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:46,880 so it'll fit in the garbage. 170 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,690 All part of the J-O-B. 171 00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:50,990 Now, what can I do you for? 172 00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:53,390 I was thinking that Bronwen over here 173 00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:56,560 might be limited in sixth grade, and it might be a good idea 174 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,560 to promote her to seventh. 175 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,130 She gets straight As. 176 00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:01,230 She knows more than everyone in the class. 177 00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:02,860 Even more than me sometimes. 178 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,570 I mean, I know more than her... like, she's stupid 179 00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,430 compared to me but smart for her class. 180 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,600 So, what do you say? 181 00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:09,800 Well... uh... 182 00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:10,940 it doesn't happen that often, 183 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:12,310 but I guess I could look into it. 184 00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:13,380 That would be so great. 185 00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:14,440 - All right. - Okay. 186 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,780 Bron-Bron, isn't that amazing? 187 00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:23,320 You get to go to seventh grade, I get to date your dad. 188 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,750 It's win-win. 189 00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,760 I am dizzy in the head on that one. 190 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,590 Where should we get our Christmas card picture taken? 191 00:07:30,590 --> 00:07:32,230 I'm feeling something tropical. 192 00:07:32,230 --> 00:07:34,260 I want to stay in my grade with my friends. 193 00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:36,160 - I'll promote your friends. - You're not understanding. 194 00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,570 I am understanding. 195 00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:40,300 I am bending over backwards to date your dad 196 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,500 and not in the fun way. 197 00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:43,200 I'll explain it later. 198 00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:44,910 Can you think for one second how fun it would be for us 199 00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:46,110 if I dated your dad? 200 00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:48,180 We could be even better besties... 201 00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:50,510 What I want is for you not to date my dad! 202 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:53,180 But why not? You know me. 203 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,120 I don't want you to date him because I know you. 204 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,250 I know you date guys for their money 205 00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,420 and I know that's why you're into my dad. 206 00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:01,720 Come on... we're friends. 207 00:08:01,730 --> 00:08:03,520 Then, if we're really friends, you'll respect 208 00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:05,630 my decision even if you don't like it. 209 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,020 I'm so proud of Irene for going on this date. 210 00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,450 I just can't believe a good friend 211 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,020 would deny me dating her dad. 212 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,120 Does Bronwen really think if I dated him 213 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,890 that I wouldn't be thinking about her, too? 214 00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:30,130 That I'm that self-centered? 215 00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:32,030 Does it seem weird that Irene's date hasn't shown up yet? 216 00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,430 I mean, he's like 30 minutes late. 217 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,930 I'm not self-centered. 218 00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:37,670 If anything, I'm other-people-centered. 219 00:08:41,410 --> 00:08:42,540 Hey. 220 00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:44,170 Hey. Irene, I... I hate 221 00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:48,410 to say this, but TvWatcher359 may not be coming. 222 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:51,280 Oh, but I planned all these great conversation topics 223 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,750 of things we have in common. 224 00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,890 Internet access, the ability to speak English. 225 00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:58,790 Ah... okay. 226 00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:00,320 But, um, hey. 227 00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:01,630 I... I would love to eat with you. 228 00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:02,890 You know, just the two of us 229 00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:04,800 having a nice lunch outside. 230 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,600 All right. 231 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,300 Now I'm going to teach you about Indians. 232 00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:10,430 When the Americans first came to the States, 233 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,900 the Indians were living there. 234 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:14,270 And the two groups quickly became best friends. 235 00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:18,840 But the Indians wanted to keep all of the land to themselves. 236 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,510 And, yes, maybe the land was rich... 237 00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:24,250 in nutrients, 238 00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:26,150 but that didn't have to be the only reason 239 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,650 the Americans wanted the land. 240 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,690 And the Indians really should have known that... 241 00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:31,590 being besties. 242 00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:35,730 But instead they just flat-out betrayed the gentle, 243 00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:39,200 kind and super hot Americans. 244 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:44,230 Now, has, um, anyone learned 245 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,700 from the Indians' mistakes? 246 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:47,700 But the Indians were right. 247 00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:48,970 The Americans were wrong. 248 00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:50,610 Well, I think the history books 249 00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:51,840 would disagree with you on that. 250 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:53,580 Have you even read the history books? 251 00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:55,010 I am the history books! 252 00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:56,180 And you've left me no choice. 253 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,050 When I was cleaning yesterday, 254 00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:03,020 I found this very personal note 255 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,620 from you, Bronwen. 256 00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,390 You, uh, want me to read it? 257 00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:09,360 - I'd love it. - You sure? 258 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,060 - Dead sure. - Okay. 259 00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:13,560 It is to Chris Keith. 260 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,830 And it says: 261 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,440 "Hi Chris, it's Bronwen. 262 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,340 I have a crush on you. 263 00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:24,570 Wanna go out on a date? 264 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:28,240 Gotta go, I'm having my period." 265 00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,880 Hmm, that's funny. 266 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,610 I don't remember writing the note on the back 267 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:33,020 of a receipt for Spanx. 268 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,560 Mm, but it ended up being pretty fun, actually. 269 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,060 I talked about fantasy novels 270 00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:50,370 and Joel talked about fantasy football. 271 00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:52,840 Ironically, they both have a character named Ladarius. 272 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:54,470 It was cool. 273 00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:56,510 It was like, as soon as I said my date wasn't gonna show up, 274 00:10:56,510 --> 00:10:57,670 he asked me to have lunch with him. 275 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:01,480 - Maybe he's into you. - Kim! 276 00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:08,580 Well, how did you leave things at the end of lunch? 277 00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,020 Well, he put the leftover food in his baseball cap 278 00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,790 and then he said, "Let's hang out again." 279 00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:16,390 He is definitely into you. 280 00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:17,930 Friends never want to hang out again. 281 00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:19,830 Right? 282 00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:23,200 Well, Joel's just lucky that my real date didn't show up. 283 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,700 Was he lucky? Or did he ask you out 284 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:28,740 pretending to be somebody else? 285 00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:31,310 Maybe he You've Got Mailed you. 286 00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,370 He You've Got Mailed me? 287 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:34,340 He You've Got Mailed you. 288 00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:36,550 I got You've Got Mailed? 289 00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:38,010 You got You've Got Mailed! 290 00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:39,550 You've got to be kidding me. 291 00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:42,450 Whose locker is this? 292 00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:45,550 I'm getting Chinese food juice all over my pants. 293 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:47,620 Uh, I have a Tide Stick in my moped. 294 00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:49,060 I'm fine, Kim. 295 00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:50,760 Do I need just a little bit of encouragement? 296 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,200 Abso-tootly. This job is thankless. 297 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,000 But I own it. 298 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,330 Unlike my apartment, which is Ron's. 299 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:07,010 For the love of God, I have a master's degree! 300 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:08,840 Hi. 301 00:12:08,850 --> 00:12:10,880 Hey. Thank you so much. 302 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,710 Good luck with the test on Friday. 303 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,980 - Hi. - Hey. 304 00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:14,950 Oh, hold up, little guy. 305 00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,590 Here you go. 306 00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:17,720 It's a buyer's market. 307 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,520 The APR has never been lower. 308 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,660 A carpenter has his hammer. I have magnets with my face on them. 309 00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,490 So... 310 00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:24,660 So I... I got your message 311 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,060 and I'm thrilled that you called. 312 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:27,660 But I'm hoping everything's okay. 313 00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:29,130 Well, that depends. 314 00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,030 It's about my number one student, Bronwen. 315 00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:32,370 Can I get you anything? 316 00:12:32,370 --> 00:12:34,400 A glass of wine? Scotch? 317 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,800 You keep alcohol here in the classroom? 318 00:12:35,810 --> 00:12:37,770 Of course not. 319 00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:40,640 Mike, I asked you here today because 320 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,080 I'm very concerned about Bronwen. 321 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,380 As you know, I... I care very much for her, 322 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,310 and I'm worried 323 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:52,520 that she has some... pretty serious issues with you... 324 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,360 finding love. 325 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,290 I am so sorry. 326 00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,790 I really want to enjoy this, but... 327 00:12:57,790 --> 00:12:59,930 your heel is digging into my thigh. 328 00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,960 - Oh, sorry. - Might have broken some skin. 329 00:13:01,970 --> 00:13:06,230 Look, I understand where she's coming from. 330 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,940 If I were her, I would want to keep you all to myself, too. 331 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,540 I would just want to... 332 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,880 pull you in, hold you tight, 333 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,180 trim your sideburns and... 334 00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,580 never let you go. 335 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:18,410 But it's not healthy. 336 00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,180 She's the kid. 337 00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:21,780 You're the dad. 338 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,690 Maybe you're right. 339 00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:26,920 You know, I should... trim my sideburns. 340 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,190 But then I'd have to change 341 00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:30,060 the... the benches and the magnets, 342 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,790 and that would be a big hassle. Sure. 343 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,740 Oh, hey, sweetheart! 344 00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:42,940 Hi. 345 00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,240 What are you doing here, Meredith? 346 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,710 Oh, I'm just hanging with your dad. 347 00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:49,710 Honey, Meredith really put things in perspective. 348 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:52,950 I think we both need to be more open with how Daddy dates. 349 00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:54,320 Mmm, that's such a good point. 350 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,480 - Well, you made it. - Oh, I did. 351 00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:58,920 This is gonna be so good for us. 352 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,320 Because then I can teach you after school, too. 353 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,420 Like I never finished that lesson about the Indians. 354 00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:06,260 When the Indians told the Americans they couldn't 355 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:09,760 have any of their land, the Americans took the land 356 00:14:09,770 --> 00:14:11,470 anyway. 357 00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:13,100 So get in here, you! 358 00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,640 Come on! Hurry! We want to take you for ice cream. 359 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,270 Come on... 360 00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:21,510 See? Kind of pays off not having boobs. 361 00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:25,510 One big, happy family. 362 00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:33,070 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 363 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,540 I figured out what you did. 364 00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:37,810 You are TvWatcher359. 365 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,680 No... 366 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,480 Shh. It's okay. 367 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,950 You You've Got Mailed me, and I think it's cute. 368 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:47,420 - I... I wish I could take credit... - That makes me feel so much better. 369 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,560 You know, I haven't been in a relationship since I got dumped 370 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,290 at an Earth, Wind & Fire reunion concert. 371 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,260 Actually, it was just Fire 'cause 372 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,630 Earth and Wind got in a fender bender on the way to the fair. 373 00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,260 But I am so happy that it was you 374 00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:58,600 and that I didn't get stood up again. 375 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,770 Guilty. 376 00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:02,270 Yeah, that was me. 377 00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:03,700 Yeah, all the way. 100%. 378 00:15:03,710 --> 00:15:05,710 Looking for sex online, you know? 379 00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:08,080 I get it. I know I'm your type: 380 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,490 smart, skinny, the slightest hint of spinal curvature. 381 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:12,740 Men love curves. 382 00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,540 And don't get me wrong. I mean, 383 00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:15,910 we would be fierce lovers. 384 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,580 But... 385 00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:20,350 we've been friends a long time, Joel, 386 00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:23,020 and I think it would be a mistake to ruin it. 387 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:25,120 Plus, I have a very strict 388 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,790 don't-poop-where-you-eat policy. 389 00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,320 I learned that from my ferrets. 390 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,590 This is tough, but... 391 00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:32,730 I understand. 392 00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,330 Okay. 393 00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,360 Hey. 394 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,330 How'd you come up with the name TvWatcher359 anyway? 395 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,070 Great question. Um, I... 396 00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:45,540 'Cause I have a TV and I watch it, you know? 397 00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:49,180 And then, um, my... I was born on March... 398 00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,640 59th. 399 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:57,380 I know it's weird that your teacher is dating your dad. 400 00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,690 But you're more mature than a lot of adults I know. 401 00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:04,360 So... we're gonna get through this, 402 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:08,260 and we're gonna be even better friends in the end. 403 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:11,560 Also, you're so pretty and skinny. 404 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:14,770 - Are we okay? - Yeah. 405 00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:16,840 When all is said and done, 406 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,110 if anybody's gonna date my dad, I guess I'm glad it's you. 407 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:21,980 Thank you. 408 00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:22,980 Me, too. 409 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,650 Learn from me, Lily. 410 00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,480 It is going so well. We're going away 411 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,350 for the weekend, staying at a five-star resort on the water. 412 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,820 Wait, you guys are going away this weekend? 413 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:38,120 Yeah. Friday after school. You want me to nick you some soap? 414 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:40,030 This is why Bronwen didn't want you to date her dad. 415 00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:41,830 He's gonna miss our violin recital, 416 00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,300 like he misses everything. 417 00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:45,800 That's why Bronwen has so much nice stuff. 418 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,200 He buys her things instead of showing up. 419 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,340 But in a bad way? 420 00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,240 Yes. She wants him there. 421 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,140 That's why she doesn't approve of anybody dating her dad. 422 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,940 She barely sees him as it is. 423 00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,380 - But in a ba... - Yes! 424 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:05,180 - In a bad way! - Okay. 425 00:17:17,060 --> 00:17:19,070 "Dear Principal Carl, 426 00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:21,870 you are an amazing leader." 427 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,070 "I appreciate your dedication, 428 00:17:26,070 --> 00:17:28,470 and I hope I can be just like you 429 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,340 when I get out of school." 430 00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:32,880 Oh, boy. 431 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,100 That's a good punch there. 432 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,530 Carl Maurice Gaines, 433 00:17:35,540 --> 00:17:37,570 you are appreciated. 434 00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:47,320 - Hey. - Hey. 435 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,860 I got an e-mail from TvWatcher359. 436 00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:54,090 Oh. Okay. You... so, you got my e-mail. 437 00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:55,830 Um... what did I... 438 00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:58,210 Don't worry. It was from the real one. 439 00:17:58,220 --> 00:17:59,420 Yeah. Apparently, 440 00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:00,920 he got stuck on a business trip. 441 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,720 But thank you for being so nice. 442 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,120 No problem. 443 00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:06,620 Well, we... we rescheduled the date. 444 00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:07,890 - Cool. - Yeah. 445 00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,360 I just got to wire him some money 446 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:11,330 so that he can get back to America. 447 00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:13,730 Wait, stop. D... don't do that! 448 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,800 Guess my dad's not coming. 449 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,010 Hey, hey. I, uh, brought you 450 00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:36,310 a vintage bottle of champagne and some pencils so you can 451 00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:38,440 show me that trick you were talking about. 452 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,010 Yes. 453 00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:41,780 How about after the recital? 454 00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:43,750 Well, we got to head to the hotel. 455 00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,780 Traffic's gonna be bad. I don't want to miss 456 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:48,420 the, uh, couples massage that I booked 457 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,490 before our ten-course tasting menu. 458 00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:53,020 It's PETA-friendly but barely. 459 00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:55,260 Oh. That sounds... 460 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:59,030 so good, but, you know, I wouldn't mind 461 00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,770 skipping the massage for Bronwen's recital. 462 00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:02,370 So why don't we just go to the recital. 463 00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:04,040 Then we'll go to the hotel. 464 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,800 I'll be okay with only... 465 00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:07,940 eight courses for dinner. 466 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:10,010 Oh, I left her a pair of diamond earrings on her chair, 467 00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:11,740 so she's cool. She's not gonna care. 468 00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:14,280 Of course she's gonna care. Wait, how many carats were 469 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,350 the earrings? Uh, don't tell me. I don't want to know. 470 00:19:16,350 --> 00:19:18,980 - She wants you there. - Relax, there's gonna be plenty of recitals. 471 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,650 Yeah, but she's been practicing like crazy 472 00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:23,450 for this recital. She thought you were gonna be there. 473 00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:26,020 And... I don't want to be the reason that you're not. 474 00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:29,460 - You should be there. - Wow, I thought we had a connection, 475 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:33,430 but you're starting to sound an awful lot like my, uh, ex-wife. 476 00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:36,000 Is that... ? That's funny. Well, maybe she was right. 477 00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:37,690 You know, I teach here, 478 00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:38,760 so I see a lot of duds, 479 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,260 and Bronwen is not one of them. 480 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:45,130 Which is why... 481 00:19:45,130 --> 00:19:48,500 I am not gonna go away with you 482 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,770 this weekend. 483 00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:54,470 And, um... 484 00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:56,440 and I'm not gonna date you either. 485 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,140 And, frankly, you shouldn't be dating anybody 486 00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:01,210 until you figure out how to make Bronwen 487 00:20:01,210 --> 00:20:02,750 your number one top priority 488 00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:05,180 because there's nothing more important. 489 00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:09,120 Roman, come get this stuff off of this... 490 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,160 American sports car. 491 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,620 Roman, don't scratch it. 492 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,090 Hi. 493 00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:25,630 Just wanted to let you know I dumped your dad. 494 00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:26,800 What? 495 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,400 He's not rich enough for me. 496 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,200 He has way too much baggage, that baggage being you. 497 00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:43,040 Thanks. 498 00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:44,280 You guys, stop talking to me. 499 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,410 You have a concert. 500 00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:47,280 Go get 'em, girls. 501 00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:53,390 That's my girl playing the violin right there. 502 00:20:53,390 --> 00:20:55,220 It's a buyer's market right now. 503 00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:56,420 Hey. What are you doing here? 504 00:20:56,430 --> 00:20:58,760 Looking for some rich dads to shake down? 505 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,130 No, I'm just here supporting the students I love 506 00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:02,930 and their artistic endeavors. 507 00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:08,350 They suck. I'm going out for a smoke. 508 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:10,519 Synced By YesCool - corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com