﻿1
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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪

2
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪

3
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

4
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪

5
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

6
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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪

7
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<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

8
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Where the hell's my<i> Red Dawn</i> DVD?

9
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I told Steve to alphabetize these.

10
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Oh, honey, cut him a little slack.

11
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He just started his first summer job.

12
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Why don't I alphabetize them?

13
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No! I asked Steve to do this.

14
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And he did a half-ass job.

15
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It may not seem important,

16
00:00:50,444 --> 00:00:52,912
but he needs to learn to do
everything with his full ass.

17
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Steve, there you are.

18
00:00:55,249 --> 00:00:56,883
I told you to alphabetize the DVDs.

19
00:00:56,917 --> 00:00:58,685
And I can't find<i> Red Dawn.</i>

20
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Dad, can I unwind for a minute?

21
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I'm walking in from a hard day at work.

22
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Hard day?

23
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You work at a grocery store.

24
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You know who actually works hard?

25
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Machines.

26
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Machines work non-stop
for years.

27
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I mean, take my watch.

28
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Where's my watch?

29
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You left it in the hotel
room in Orlando last spring.

30
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Wow. You can go a long time
without needing a watch.

31
00:01:20,441 --> 00:01:22,542
Dad,<i> Red Dawn</i> is right here.

32
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It just got switched with<i> Red Sonja.</i>

33
00:01:24,578 --> 00:01:26,879
No, I want you to
re-alphabetize these.

34
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Switching isn't alphabetizing.

35
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What's the difference?
They're all in order now.

36
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What's the difference?!

37
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You do things the right way,
you have a good life.

38
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You do things the wrong way,
you end up riding the rails.

39
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What?

40
00:01:38,325 --> 00:01:40,226
Wh-What does that even mean?

41
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It means do it the right way!

42
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Now, if you'll excuse me,

43
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I have a Father of the
Year award to accept.

44
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And the Pappy goes to...

45
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...my man, Stan Smith.

46
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Thank you, Alan Thicke.

47
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This is amazing.

48
00:02:00,648 --> 00:02:01,915
Honey!

49
00:02:01,949 --> 00:02:04,751
I told you I'm using
the garage for my award show!

50
00:02:04,785 --> 00:02:06,586
Park on the street!

51
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:08,721
I am so sick of this crap, Alan!

52
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You're ruining my thing!

53
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I'm sorry, it's over.

54
00:02:18,599 --> 00:02:19,732
But it's not you.

55
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You know that, right?

56
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It's not you.

57
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It's your body.

58
00:02:25,606 --> 00:02:27,173
Hey, knock that off!

59
00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:30,777
I'm dumping this girl, and your
sad music is making her cry.

60
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I don't think it's the music, buddy.

61
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I do. In fact, I'm surprised
your crappy playing

62
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hasn't driven everyone
in this place to tears.

63
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Oh, yeah?
Well, why don't you come up here

64
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if you think you can do better?

65
00:02:40,287 --> 00:02:41,788
I don't even play guitar.

66
00:02:41,822 --> 00:02:43,323
But you suck so hard, I bet I could

67
00:02:43,357 --> 00:02:44,657
be better than you in a week.

68
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Donald!
It's okay.

69
00:02:46,493 --> 00:02:47,694
Wait, if you don't play,

70
00:02:47,728 --> 00:02:49,863
why are you wearing a
Martin Guitar T-shirt?

71
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That's 'cause I'm a hipster, dumbass.

72
00:02:51,498 --> 00:02:53,233
We pretend to be stuff.

73
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All right, Mr. Hip.

74
00:02:55,035 --> 00:02:57,704
Meet me back here in a week,
and let's see who's better.

75
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Loser never shows his face in here again.

76
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I'll do you one better.

77
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The loser never comes back
here even in a mask.

78
00:03:05,613 --> 00:03:07,480
See you in a week, Mr. Hip.

79
00:03:07,515 --> 00:03:09,582
See you in a week, um...

80
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Jamal.

81
00:03:10,684 --> 00:03:12,652
Your name's Jamal?
But you're white.

82
00:03:12,686 --> 00:03:13,653
So?

83
00:03:13,687 --> 00:03:16,222
Is this really the first time
you've had this conversation?

84
00:03:16,257 --> 00:03:18,458
Come on, Jamal.

85
00:03:20,995 --> 00:03:22,395
What do you think's going on?

86
00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:23,630
Seems like everyone's getting called

87
00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:25,231
into Bullock's office today.

88
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Oh, I know that cry.

89
00:03:29,003 --> 00:03:30,603
Either they're making budget cuts

90
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or all our parents got
in a car accident again.

91
00:03:33,174 --> 00:03:35,742
Smith?

92
00:03:35,776 --> 00:03:38,711
Sir, am I getting fired?

93
00:03:38,746 --> 00:03:40,613
I wouldn't say that.

94
00:03:40,648 --> 00:03:42,582
I'd say "sacked."

95
00:03:42,616 --> 00:03:45,285
Because that's more
what Austin Powers would say.

96
00:03:45,319 --> 00:03:48,154
I do a great Austin Powers impression.

97
00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:50,290
You're sacked, baby!

98
00:03:50,324 --> 00:03:52,091
But I've worked here 20 years.

99
00:03:52,126 --> 00:03:53,927
You're just eliminating the position?

100
00:03:53,961 --> 00:03:55,829
Oh, no, what you do is important.

101
00:03:55,863 --> 00:03:58,131
I just found someone
who will do it cheaper.

102
00:03:58,165 --> 00:04:00,600
Meet Agent Gary.

103
00:04:00,634 --> 00:04:02,535
Gary's a half-wit.

104
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But he only costs half as much.

105
00:04:04,672 --> 00:04:08,475
Gary, stop rubbing
the stapler on your pants.

106
00:04:11,078 --> 00:04:12,712
So, that's it?

107
00:04:12,746 --> 00:04:15,215
I'm out of a job just like that?

108
00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:18,384
Yup, it's pretty crazy
how life can change so quickly.

109
00:04:18,419 --> 00:04:21,921
Here's another example of how
life can change so quickly.

110
00:04:28,596 --> 00:04:30,697
Ha-hey! Am I in time for a show?

111
00:04:30,731 --> 00:04:33,166
No, I challenged some dick
to a guitar duel.

112
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,834
Now get out of here, I need to practice.

113
00:04:34,869 --> 00:04:36,970
Go play in your attic
if you don't want an audience.

114
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Stairs.

115
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All right, how hard could this be?

116
00:04:41,509 --> 00:04:43,510
The shape is pretty
self-explanatory.

117
00:04:46,414 --> 00:04:48,748
Roger, I-I thought you knew
how to play the guitar.

118
00:04:48,783 --> 00:04:50,116
I used to.

119
00:04:50,151 --> 00:04:52,585
But you know the part of your
brain that deals with music?

120
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,955
I took some PCP and just destroyed it.

121
00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:57,457
Hey, why don't you order some DVDs

122
00:04:57,491 --> 00:04:59,359
from that Latin guy with the infomercials?

123
00:04:59,393 --> 00:05:00,627
Lorenzo!

124
00:05:00,661 --> 00:05:02,395
That's genius, Hayley.

125
00:05:02,430 --> 00:05:04,998
Wonder how come I never
have any great ideas?

126
00:05:05,032 --> 00:05:07,000
I mean, could it be the PCP?

127
00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:08,034
Well, I don't know.

128
00:05:08,069 --> 00:05:09,069
Let's find out!

129
00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:12,906
Shoot, left my lighter in the attic.

130
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Stairs.

131
00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:20,113
You know, Mr. Smith,
I'd like to give you the job.

132
00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:22,749
And the way you opened
an entire pack of Starbursts

133
00:05:22,783 --> 00:05:24,751
with your tongue was really impressive.

134
00:05:24,785 --> 00:05:27,620
But I just don't think you're qualified.

135
00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:30,457
But I've worked for the
CIA for the last 20 years.

136
00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:33,193
Yes, I see you put that on your résumé.

137
00:05:33,227 --> 00:05:36,062
But it's not on your permanent record.

138
00:05:36,097 --> 00:05:37,297
"Permanent record"?

139
00:05:37,331 --> 00:05:38,732
That's a real thing?

140
00:05:38,766 --> 00:05:40,300
Well, if it wasn't, how would I know

141
00:05:40,334 --> 00:05:42,902
that in fifth grade you tried

142
00:05:42,937 --> 00:05:45,138
to get out of a math test
by putting a slice of pizza

143
00:05:45,172 --> 00:05:48,775
in your underwear
and saying it was your period?

144
00:05:48,809 --> 00:05:50,143
That's on there?!

145
00:05:50,177 --> 00:05:51,811
All right, first of all,
that never happened.

146
00:05:51,846 --> 00:05:53,446
Second of all, it was a calzone.

147
00:05:53,481 --> 00:05:54,714
I'm sorry, Mr. Smith.

148
00:05:54,749 --> 00:05:56,229
But with a permanent record like this,

149
00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:58,685
no one's going to hire you.

150
00:05:58,719 --> 00:06:00,587
Oh, you know what it must be?

151
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:03,456
My CIA work isn't on there
because it's classified.

152
00:06:03,491 --> 00:06:04,724
Here, talk to my boss.

153
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,293
Yeah, hi, this is Shaun

154
00:06:07,328 --> 00:06:09,029
over at Buffalo Wild Wings corporate.

155
00:06:09,063 --> 00:06:10,904
I-I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm sitting here

156
00:06:10,931 --> 00:06:13,667
with a Stan Smith,
who claims he worked for you.

157
00:06:13,701 --> 00:06:15,802
He-he did?

158
00:06:15,836 --> 00:06:18,538
Oh, is that right?

159
00:06:18,572 --> 00:06:20,206
Okay.

160
00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:22,642
Nice try, but that was
clearly one of your friends.

161
00:06:22,677 --> 00:06:24,644
He gave me the old "Now that I told you,

162
00:06:24,679 --> 00:06:26,680
I'm gonna have to kill you" joke.

163
00:06:28,382 --> 00:06:29,649
Hi, Stan.

164
00:06:29,684 --> 00:06:32,185
You got to stop telling people, Stan.

165
00:06:34,722 --> 00:06:36,556
So according to my permanent record,

166
00:06:36,590 --> 00:06:39,626
the last job I had was in
college sweeping up hair.

167
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,761
Working at a barbershop shows initiative.

168
00:06:41,796 --> 00:06:42,796
Barbershop?

169
00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:44,230
It was a White Castle.

170
00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:46,066
I finished raking all the leaves.

171
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,267
Did you clean the gutters?

172
00:06:47,301 --> 00:06:48,268
There was nothing in them.

173
00:06:48,302 --> 00:06:49,602
Then get a ladder and go up

174
00:06:49,637 --> 00:06:51,037
and stuff the leaves in the gutters.

175
00:06:51,038 --> 00:06:52,272
Then clean the gutters.
But that's...

176
00:06:52,306 --> 00:06:53,640
They won't always be clean.

177
00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:55,542
You need to be prepared for that day.

178
00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:57,043
Full ass, son.

179
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:59,579
Fine, I'll do it after work.

180
00:06:59,613 --> 00:07:01,614
Wait, Steve, didn't you say

181
00:07:01,649 --> 00:07:03,750
someone got fired at the grocery store?

182
00:07:03,784 --> 00:07:06,219
Stan, maybe you could take that job.

183
00:07:06,253 --> 00:07:07,320
Oh, no, no, no!

184
00:07:07,355 --> 00:07:08,989
Dad doesn't want that job.

185
00:07:09,023 --> 00:07:10,323
It's-it's entry level.

186
00:07:10,358 --> 00:07:11,791
Well, I got to start somewhere.

187
00:07:11,826 --> 00:07:14,561
Yay, I don't have to get a job!

188
00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:23,370
Hey, Steve, did you see that
guy earlier buying condoms?

189
00:07:23,404 --> 00:07:25,372
And now this lady's getting tampons.

190
00:07:25,406 --> 00:07:27,107
This day is crazy.

191
00:07:27,141 --> 00:07:30,343
I didn't know grocery stores were so sexy.

192
00:07:30,378 --> 00:07:32,345
Have fun.

193
00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:34,714
You know that chick has sex.

194
00:07:34,749 --> 00:07:36,850
Dad, come on, we're working.

195
00:07:36,884 --> 00:07:38,218
Hey, Steve.

196
00:07:38,252 --> 00:07:39,753
Rick just quit.

197
00:07:39,787 --> 00:07:43,823
So, how would you like to be
the new assistant manager?

198
00:07:43,858 --> 00:07:45,091
Would I?!

199
00:07:45,126 --> 00:07:48,361
Sir, I've got so much more
workforce experience than Steve.

200
00:07:48,396 --> 00:07:50,463
Yeah, but Steve's been here a month.

201
00:07:50,498 --> 00:07:52,899
So, Steve, here's your huge key ring.

202
00:07:52,934 --> 00:07:56,236
Oh, boy, now I have access
to the teeth-whitening kits

203
00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:58,939
and all liquor over $40!

204
00:07:58,973 --> 00:08:00,540
Well, congratulations, Steve.

205
00:08:00,575 --> 00:08:02,208
Thanks, Dad.

206
00:08:02,243 --> 00:08:03,844
Now go take the pieces of dead onion skin

207
00:08:03,878 --> 00:08:06,846
out of the shopping baskets.

208
00:08:06,881 --> 00:08:08,648
This totally blows.

209
00:08:08,683 --> 00:08:11,217
I worked for the CIA
for 20 years, you know.

210
00:08:13,187 --> 00:08:16,222
You really got to put a sock in it, Stan!

211
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:27,171
I don't like your tune.

212
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,486
Now, when you're done with this,

213
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:29,947
I need you to go count the tomatoes.

214
00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:31,843
Geez, why are you being so bossy?

215
00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:33,344
'Cause I'm your boss.

216
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:34,445
Not if I quit.

217
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,015
Yeah? You think your permanent
record looks bad now?

218
00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:40,118
Think how it'll look if you
quit your only job in 20 years.

219
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,252
Quit.

220
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,453
In your dreams.

221
00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:46,190
Steve, they just delivered the butter.

222
00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:47,659
One of your new responsibilities

223
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,594
is to show the baggers how to stock it.

224
00:08:49,628 --> 00:08:51,262
Yes, sir. I'm on it.

225
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,133
So, we're right behind the butter shelves.

226
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:59,103
Whoa! How long has
this place been here?

227
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:01,506
Get your jaw off
the floor and start stocking.

228
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:03,540
And don't let the butter sit
on the ground too long

229
00:09:03,542 --> 00:09:05,643
because the fridges
put out some major heat.

230
00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,679
Got it?

231
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:10,815
It won't fit.

232
00:09:10,849 --> 00:09:12,951
You got to take it out of the crate, dummy.

233
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,419
Then you make it fit.

234
00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:15,620
Lay the butter like bricks.

235
00:09:15,654 --> 00:09:16,955
With the labels facing out.

236
00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:17,956
Got it?

237
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,991
Yeah, I got it.

238
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:30,802
I earned a break.

239
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,403
I'll be napping
in the blood pressure chair.

240
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:33,638
What's this?

241
00:09:33,672 --> 00:09:35,473
Oh, sorry.

242
00:09:35,507 --> 00:09:37,909
No, start over and do it right.

243
00:09:43,949 --> 00:09:46,017
Oh, that poor,
mentally-disabled man.

244
00:09:46,051 --> 00:09:47,485
I'm not mentally disabled!

245
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,355
Well, you don't know
how to stack butter, so...

246
00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:57,295
Hey, your guitar DVD came.

247
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:01,065
What the hell are you talking about?

248
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,902
You're battling that guy in
the coffee shop in two days.

249
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,456
Oh, my God, that's so important to me!

250
00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:07,472
Quick, put it in the DVD player!

251
00:10:08,974 --> 00:10:10,208
Just skip to the first lesson.

252
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:11,682
I don't have a lot of time to learn.

253
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:15,413
Now it is your turn.

254
00:10:15,447 --> 00:10:19,417
Start with the G chord,
which you finger like this.

255
00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:20,785
He's going too fast.

256
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,520
I'll pause.

257
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,822
I think I got it.

258
00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:25,356
Ready?
Yeah.

259
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,425
Now strum.

260
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,596
Aah! It's got me!

261
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:38,403
Well, I guess this is my hand now.

262
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,774
I hate working at that store!

263
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,542
Steve just bosses me around.

264
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,644
The only good thing is that the stock boys

265
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:47,979
are teaching me Spanish,

266
00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:50,215
so that's pretty <i>cállate gringo.</i>

267
00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:51,883
Dad, why on Earth did you make me

268
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:54,419
take all of our spare light
bulbs out of their boxes?

269
00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:57,122
Stan, is this just to get back at Steve

270
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,923
for bossing you around at the store?

271
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:01,092
Are you accusing me of
being vindictive, Francine?

272
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:02,894
Because I will destroy you!

273
00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:04,262
Besides, there's a reason

274
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,631
I'm making him do all these things.

275
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,545
Now take off your shoes
and sweep up that glass.

276
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:09,834
Take off my shoes?!

277
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:10,935
Take 'em off.

278
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:13,271
Oh, you're in for it tomorrow, mister.

279
00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:15,273
The regional manager's
coming for our review

280
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,275
and I'm gonna be busting your ass all day.

281
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:18,409
I'll just call in sick.

282
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:19,677
I'll tell them you're faking.

283
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:20,912
And you'll get fired.

284
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,780
Then how will you support your woman?

285
00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:25,283
How will you keep her
glowing in such finery?

286
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,123
That's right.

287
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,591
Now you're getting it!

288
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:37,429
No, I'm not, and there's no
way I'll learn by tomorrow!

289
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,265
Not learning fast enough?

290
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:41,266
What the hell?

291
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,267
How are you...

292
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,607
I am Lorenzo.

293
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,676
AKA Old Scratch.

294
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:54,879
I can offer you a shortcut
to guitar mastery,

295
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,682
but it comes at an ironic price.

296
00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,284
Yeah, yeah, I'll pay any price.

297
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:01,586
You realize I'm the Devil
and... and you're making

298
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,054
what is called a Faustian bargain, right?

299
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,522
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
Really?

300
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,724
'Cause you don't sound like you understand

301
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:08,059
the gravity of the ironic price.

302
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,260
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's fine.

303
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,596
I mean, I really have to crush
this punk at the coffee shop.

304
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:12,931
He's got this stupid little goatee...

305
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:14,232
Enough!
Enough.

306
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:16,134
I'm sure your reasons are terrific

307
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,169
if you are willing to pay with your soul.

308
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:21,806
Wait, my soul?

309
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,475
My Kia Soul?

310
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,810
How am I supposed to get
to my shift at Dairy Queen?

311
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:28,413
Stacey, it's Roger.

312
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,515
Hey, can you cover my
3:00 to 7:00 tonight?

313
00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:32,384
Oh, my soul!

314
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,185
Never mind.

315
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:36,387
Hey, are you going to Jake's party?

316
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,492
Tom, I gotta say.

317
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:42,060
You hit a solid double here.

318
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,828
I'm just happy to get on base.

319
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,264
I make the baseball references...

320
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,299
Oh. My. God.

321
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,300
Holy moly.

322
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,403
Stan, what's going on?

323
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,371
There's butter melting all over the place!

324
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,341
Yeah, I, I could only
fit one crate on the shelf.

325
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,576
The rest is by the refrigeration exhaust.

326
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,578
Steve, you were supposed to show Stan

327
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,913
how to stock the butter!

328
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,749
Yeah, I sure could have used
some supervision on that one.

329
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,750
Wh-What?

330
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,085
I-I showed you!

331
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,486
Clearly not well enough.

332
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,688
And I'm a sponge, I was waiting for it.

333
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,490
This is not good, Steve.

334
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,193
It's just lucky no one got hurt.

335
00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:16,227
Joshua!

336
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:36,915
I'm sorry, Steve, but I'm
gonna have to let you go.

337
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:37,982
But...
No buts.

338
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,018
Now let's have the apron.

339
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,491
It's always hard to see a young boy

340
00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:47,859
tarnish his permanent record.

341
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:48,960
Hold on.

342
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,395
This'll be on his permanent record?

343
00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:51,496
Yeah.

344
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:52,964
He was assistant manager

345
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,866
and he didn't show you
how to put the butter away.

346
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,534
That's something every employer

347
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,104
for the rest of his life
is gonna want to know.

348
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:01,473
Yeah, if he can even find a job.

349
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,974
Oh, God!

350
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,083
What have I done?

351
00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:15,102
I showed him how to stock the butter

352
00:14:15,136 --> 00:14:17,070
and he did it wrong on purpose.

353
00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:18,305
He got me fired!

354
00:14:18,339 --> 00:14:20,040
But he still has his job, right?

355
00:14:20,074 --> 00:14:21,775
I can keep my finery?

356
00:14:21,809 --> 00:14:23,043
You!

357
00:14:23,077 --> 00:14:25,345
You have a lot of nerve
showing your face here!

358
00:14:25,380 --> 00:14:26,880
You're right to be mad, Steve.

359
00:14:26,915 --> 00:14:28,448
And it's worse than you think.

360
00:14:28,483 --> 00:14:29,750
I got you fired...

361
00:14:29,784 --> 00:14:31,652
and now it's on your permanent record.

362
00:14:31,686 --> 00:14:33,520
Good lord.

363
00:14:33,555 --> 00:14:34,988
My future...

364
00:14:35,023 --> 00:14:36,957
He's gonna be ridin' the rails, Stan!

365
00:14:39,894 --> 00:14:41,728
It's come to our attention!

366
00:14:41,763 --> 00:14:43,697
That your son's run out of options.

367
00:14:43,731 --> 00:14:45,065
The Army'll take him!

368
00:14:45,099 --> 00:14:47,100
Get out of here, you damn vulture!

369
00:14:48,903 --> 00:14:50,604
Thank you for your service.

370
00:14:57,879 --> 00:14:59,880
Dad, what are we doing at your old office?

371
00:14:59,914 --> 00:15:01,582
Well, the CIA was able to keep

372
00:15:01,616 --> 00:15:04,284
my 20 years with them
off my permanent record,

373
00:15:04,319 --> 00:15:05,786
so they must have access to them.

374
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:07,988
Okay, but why'd you drag me along?

375
00:15:08,022 --> 00:15:10,057
Well, I don't have my badge anymore,

376
00:15:10,091 --> 00:15:11,725
so I need your help
getting into the building.

377
00:15:11,759 --> 00:15:13,460
And how am I supposed to do that?

378
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:14,561
Like this.

379
00:15:25,473 --> 00:15:27,374
Okay, I just have to log in

380
00:15:27,408 --> 00:15:29,710
and see how they access
the permanent records.

381
00:15:31,646 --> 00:15:33,981
Damn it, they already deleted my password!

382
00:15:34,015 --> 00:15:35,749
Your password was one letter?

383
00:15:35,783 --> 00:15:37,985
Yeah, it's, like, super easy
to remember that way.

384
00:15:38,019 --> 00:15:40,187
Well, I guess this was a dead end.

385
00:15:40,221 --> 00:15:41,288
Or...

386
00:15:41,322 --> 00:15:42,823
maybe we could go to the basement,

387
00:15:42,857 --> 00:15:43,957
'cause that's where

388
00:15:43,992 --> 00:15:45,626
the Permanent Record Department is.

389
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:48,295
This is Deputy Director Bullock

390
00:15:48,329 --> 00:15:51,131
reminding you that secrets
are meant to be kept.

391
00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:53,734
Now, back to the elevator music.

392
00:15:53,768 --> 00:15:55,669
♪ Friday night it was late ♪

393
00:15:55,703 --> 00:15:57,104
♪ I was walking you home ♪

394
00:15:57,138 --> 00:15:58,972
♪ We got down to the gate ♪

395
00:15:59,007 --> 00:16:02,009
♪ And I was dreaming
of the night... ♪

396
00:16:04,846 --> 00:16:06,580
It's a permanent record!

397
00:16:06,614 --> 00:16:10,050
"Martin McGowan pretended
to pick up his dog's poop,

398
00:16:10,084 --> 00:16:12,486
but just grabbed at the air
and kept walking."

399
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:13,487
Wow.

400
00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:14,721
They are on top of stuff.

401
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,523
Come on, let's find yours.

402
00:16:20,361 --> 00:16:22,362
Here it is.

403
00:16:23,364 --> 00:16:26,667
"Fired from grocery store for
incompetent management."

404
00:16:26,701 --> 00:16:28,836
Don't worry, we'll fix that.

405
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:36,677
"And it was totally not
Steve's fault."

406
00:16:36,711 --> 00:16:37,678
There.

407
00:16:37,712 --> 00:16:39,346
Now, to spice it up.

408
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,515
"Steve Smith lost his virginity

409
00:16:41,549 --> 00:16:43,817
"after a romantic candlelight
dinner on the beach.

410
00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:47,654
"He suggested taking things
slow, "but she was voracious,

411
00:16:47,689 --> 00:16:49,823
"with an unquenchable
sex-thirst.

412
00:16:49,858 --> 00:16:51,692
And he did a good job."

413
00:16:51,726 --> 00:16:53,060
Solid.

414
00:16:53,094 --> 00:16:54,695
- Now, let's get outta here.
- Freeze!

415
00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:59,166
Sir, we were just trying to
repair Steve's permanent record.

416
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,534
He shouldn't be burdened

417
00:17:00,568 --> 00:17:02,328
for the rest of his life
for something I did.

418
00:17:02,337 --> 00:17:04,004
Well, that's the system.

419
00:17:04,038 --> 00:17:05,906
And when I send this downstairs,

420
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:08,409
you'll be a virgin again, Master Smith.

421
00:17:08,443 --> 00:17:10,744
You're in charge of the permanent records?

422
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,579
I play many roles here.

423
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:15,582
I also design the company softball shirts.

424
00:17:17,685 --> 00:17:19,820
It came to me in a dream.

425
00:17:19,854 --> 00:17:22,823
Daddy, the bombs came.

426
00:17:22,857 --> 00:17:26,326
It's C-4, Gary, and I am not your father.

427
00:17:26,361 --> 00:17:27,861
What about the detonators?

428
00:17:27,896 --> 00:17:29,229
They came, too.

429
00:17:29,264 --> 00:17:31,832
I put them in the bombs
so Gary wouldn't lose them.

430
00:17:31,866 --> 00:17:33,834
Did you set the timer on these?!

431
00:17:33,868 --> 00:17:35,736
Gary making oatmeal.

432
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:38,205
Almost ready.

433
00:17:38,239 --> 00:17:40,541
Good God, you're gonna blow up this office!

434
00:17:40,575 --> 00:17:43,744
We've got to get
this C-4 out of here!

435
00:17:43,778 --> 00:17:45,245
Oh!

436
00:17:47,415 --> 00:17:48,749
Steve, throw me more bricks.

437
00:17:48,783 --> 00:17:50,117
It's just like the butter!

438
00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:52,519
Oh, yeah!

439
00:17:54,122 --> 00:17:55,089
Go, Dad!

440
00:18:04,265 --> 00:18:05,232
Yay!

441
00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:06,633
Oatmeal time!

442
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:07,968
Gary, you're fired!

443
00:18:08,002 --> 00:18:10,204
Stan, you got your job back.

444
00:18:10,238 --> 00:18:12,373
Thank you for saving our lives, Smith.

445
00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:14,041
Well, actually, you
should be thanking Steve.

446
00:18:14,075 --> 00:18:16,710
I was only able to
stack the C-4 so fast

447
00:18:16,745 --> 00:18:19,179
because Steve was so hard
on me at the grocery store.

448
00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:20,781
Oh. Well-well,
I just did that

449
00:18:20,815 --> 00:18:22,983
because you were such a jerk to me at home.

450
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,985
I'm not trying to be a jerk, Steve.

451
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:27,488
I'm trying to save you from
a life of ridin' the rails.

452
00:18:27,522 --> 00:18:29,590
Dad, that's just an expression.

453
00:18:29,624 --> 00:18:31,291
Tell that to Tony Lura.

454
00:18:31,326 --> 00:18:34,361
He half-assed it all summer
on the grill at White Castle.

455
00:18:34,396 --> 00:18:36,497
A lot of people got really sick, actually.

456
00:18:36,531 --> 00:18:37,998
Then he just disappeared.

457
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,500
Last anyone saw of him,

458
00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:41,101
he was hoppin' the Union Pacific Line

459
00:18:41,136 --> 00:18:42,936
with all of his possessions in a sock.

460
00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:44,238
Oh.

461
00:18:44,272 --> 00:18:46,540
Well, thanks for looking out for me, Dad.

462
00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:48,976
I sure wouldn't want
to end up like Tony Lura.

463
00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:50,611
No, you wouldn't, son.

464
00:18:50,645 --> 00:18:52,479
And, son, that's why

465
00:18:52,514 --> 00:18:54,481
you don't want to end up like Stan Smith,

466
00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:57,518
the White Castle employee
who did everything right.

467
00:18:57,552 --> 00:18:58,752
'Cause what did it get him?

468
00:18:58,787 --> 00:19:01,255
A government job
fighting for so-called freedom

469
00:19:01,289 --> 00:19:03,524
from the confines of a cubicle.

470
00:19:03,558 --> 00:19:05,993
Well, this is my cubicle!

471
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:10,798
And this is real freedom!

472
00:19:10,832 --> 00:19:12,466
You understand, son?

473
00:19:14,235 --> 00:19:15,369
Yep.

474
00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:19,039
The world is our oyster!

475
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:32,086
They're clapping 'cause it's over.

476
00:20:34,549 --> 00:20:36,216
You get the drift, I win.

477
00:20:37,919 --> 00:20:40,955
Listen, buddy, you clearly won,
but I really need this gig.

478
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,090
I tell you what... you
seem like a nice guy.

479
00:20:43,124 --> 00:20:44,792
What if I let you keep playing here

480
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,794
and you just cover the price of my lessons?

481
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,429
That'd be amazing!

482
00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:50,197
Then it's a deal.

483
00:20:53,024 --> 00:20:58,993
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

