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(upbeat march plays)
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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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00:00:10,912 --> 00:00:13,881
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com web dl sync snarry
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Good... morning, everyone.
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It is a beautiful 72 degrees out.
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(sighs)
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Today has so much promise.
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Today?
Try Berlin in '38.
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So many different people.
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So many opinions.
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A marketplace of ideas.
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Anyway,
today in sex-ed,
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00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,671
we're asking our teacher
anonymous questions.
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It can be anything we want to know.
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That's great, honey.
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You know, Steve, legend has it,
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that if you can stump
a sex-ed teacher,
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you become the
sex-ed teacher.
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(imitates Highlander):
"There can be only one!"
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00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,351
Hey. Did you guys know
that there's a landmass
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00:01:08,385 --> 00:01:11,020
made up of garbage that's
floating in the Pacific Ocean?
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You shouldn't have to go that far
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just to throw away that manly jacket.
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Well, I'm tired of ignoring
the world's problems.
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So, today, I start my new job
for a local news reporter
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with a brand-new show.
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Oh, that sounds hard.
33
00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:25,414
Are you sure you want to bother?
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00:01:25,436 --> 00:01:28,037
Look, this is my chance
to get the truth out there
35
00:01:28,072 --> 00:01:30,540
about Garbage Island
and so many other things.
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People need to know the dangers
of eating non-organic fruit
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and that vaccines are...
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Hayley! Behind you!
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(footsteps departing)
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(all grunting)
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Damn it!
One at a time, you guys.
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00:01:41,452 --> 00:01:43,620
This is why we had all those drills.
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Whatever.
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I'm going out there to make a difference.
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("Let the River Run" by Carly Simon begins)
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♪ It's asking for the taking ♪
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♪ Trembling, shaking ♪
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♪ Oh, my heart is aching ♪
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00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,641
♪ We're coming to the edge ♪
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00:02:04,675 --> 00:02:05,908
♪ Running on the water ♪
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00:02:05,943 --> 00:02:06,943
♪ Coming through the fog ♪
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00:02:06,977 --> 00:02:08,911
♪ Your sons and daughters ♪
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00:02:08,946 --> 00:02:11,180
♪ Let the river run ♪
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♪ Let the river run ♪
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♪ Let all the dreamers ♪
♪ Let all the dreamers ♪
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♪ Wake the nation ♪
♪ Wake the nation ♪
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♪ Come, the New Jerusalem. ♪
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(song abruptly ends)
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Oh, come on!
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♪ ♪
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I'm Genevieve Vavance.
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00:02:40,511 --> 00:02:41,945
Tonight on News Glance:
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00:02:41,979 --> 00:02:44,013
Is heroin the new cure for cancer?
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00:02:44,048 --> 00:02:46,716
What I don't know about things
will shock you.
65
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,751
And cut. We're clear.
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00:02:48,786 --> 00:02:50,086
You're late.
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00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,721
You're Genevieve Vavance?
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I thought I was working for
a real reporter.
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I am a real reporter.
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I broadcast live to Langley
Falls every night on channel 438
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after reruns of the
Taiwanese prayer breakfast.
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First pitch meeting is this afternoon.
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Prepare to wow me.
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You're already halfway there.
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I love that jacket.
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Is it...?
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00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,206
Yeah. Cheap.
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00:03:14,545 --> 00:03:16,446
All right.
It's time for me to answer
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00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,748
your anonymous questions about sex.
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"I've had sex three times."
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Kudos.
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00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,554
But that's not a question.
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"What's it called when you
kiss someone on the toilet?"
84
00:03:27,825 --> 00:03:29,058
Good question.
85
00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:32,595
Scientists call that
a "San Diego Thank You."
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00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:38,868
"Is it true that, during sex,
a woman's uterus can create
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a vacuum-like effect and suck
a person up inside of it?"
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(class laughing)
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Idiot.
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Hold up. Hold up.
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I recognize this handwriting.
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It's Steve Smith's.
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(laughing continues)
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Hey, Steve! Look out...!
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(whooshes)
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(laughing and whooshing continue)
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00:04:03,093 --> 00:04:04,994
Okay. Story ideas.
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00:04:05,029 --> 00:04:06,529
Now, I don't know where you worked before,
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00:04:06,564 --> 00:04:09,265
but Genevieve Vavance does
things a little differently.
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00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:12,035
Now, pitch.
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00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,471
How 'bout we do a report on the corruption
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00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:16,739
in the Langley Light Rail?
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No.
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(gun clicking)
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(sighs) Can we please get
106
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a bullet intern to make sure
I always have bullets?
107
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We had one?
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00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:26,649
What happened to her?
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Oh, that's right.
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She went back to school.
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She was great.
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She's gonna do great things.
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00:04:32,256 --> 00:04:35,692
Well, I want to do an exposé
about Garbage Island.
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It's a giant mass of trash
polluting the Pacific Ocean.
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You know what's garbage?
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That story.
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Come on, I need something juicy
to boost my ratings!
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I need a serial killer priest!
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00:04:44,802 --> 00:04:46,236
I need a vegetarian cop!
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00:04:46,270 --> 00:04:48,504
I need a senator cheating
on his wife with a bagel!
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00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:50,940
(yells, grunts)
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00:04:50,975 --> 00:04:55,311
All of you, get out there and
find me my JonBenét Ramsey!
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00:04:55,346 --> 00:04:58,281
But Garbage Island is a story
that people need to hear.
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I'll tell you what:
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00:04:59,316 --> 00:05:01,818
you find me a story that gets me ratings
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00:05:01,852 --> 00:05:05,054
and I'll let you report on as
much idealistic crap as you want.
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Genevieve?
My bagel and I are ready
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00:05:07,124 --> 00:05:09,092
to tell our side of the story.
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00:05:09,126 --> 00:05:10,827
You have my ear, Senator.
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Today was awful.
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Someone spray painted "Steve
Smith thinks vaginas suck",
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on my locker.
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So what?
People think you're gay.
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(scoffs) I wish!
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No one thinks I'm sexual at all,
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because of the stupid question
I asked in class.
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My day was worse.
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00:05:28,345 --> 00:05:30,313
My new boss is Roger.
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I-I wanted to make
a difference in the world,
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but he just wants a missing
kid to sensationalize.
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Missing kids are so lucky.
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I'd kill to disappear right now.
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Wait a minute...
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What if you did disappear?
145
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What do you mean?
146
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:43,726
Yeah. Yeah.
147
00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,361
We pretend you were kidnapped
148
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and we hide you away for a week,
149
00:05:47,031 --> 00:05:48,965
Roger gets his missing person story
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00:05:48,999 --> 00:05:51,568
and then I get to do my exposé
on Garbage Island.
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That's great!
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By the time I get back,
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everyone will have forgotten all about
154
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my ignorance of the fairer sex!
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I'm not as concerned about
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what you're getting out of it, but sure.
157
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:05,982
I rented this cabin for the next week.
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00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:07,584
Y-You sure
you'll be okay?
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00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,820
Of course!
I'll be fine.
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00:06:10,855 --> 00:06:11,821
Geez, Steve.
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Four gallons of Lubriderm?
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00:06:13,591 --> 00:06:16,159
You try living with eczema.
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00:06:16,193 --> 00:06:17,293
All right.
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Time to report a disappearance.
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(sighs)
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00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,365
ROGER:
Hello?
167
00:06:22,399 --> 00:06:23,433
(voice breaking):
Genevieve?
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It's Hayley.
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I think I have your story.
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My little brother has gone missing!
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00:06:27,938 --> 00:06:29,105
Steve is missing?!
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How horrible for him.
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But fantastic for us!
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We can make this national news!
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00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,644
(phone beeps)
176
00:06:34,678 --> 00:06:36,679
They said I wasn't
good enough for television.
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How do you like me now, voices in my head?
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There's no pleasing you guys!
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No, not you, Marc.
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00:06:43,287 --> 00:06:44,854
You're always super positive.
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ANNOUNCER:
Hard-hitting reporter.
182
00:06:48,831 --> 00:06:49,931
Truth seeker.
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00:06:49,965 --> 00:06:51,666
Curves membership.
184
00:06:51,701 --> 00:06:55,337
This is News Glance with Genevieve Vavance.
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00:06:55,695 --> 00:06:58,130
Sad news out of Langley Falls tonight,
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00:06:58,164 --> 00:07:00,399
stunningly gorgeous high school student,
187
00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:02,401
Steve Smith, has gone missing.
188
00:07:02,435 --> 00:07:05,837
Athletic. Chiseled. Missing.
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00:07:05,872 --> 00:07:08,240
All we know right now is that
Steve was last seen at home
190
00:07:08,274 --> 00:07:10,842
with his family and he is adorable.
191
00:07:10,877 --> 00:07:13,512
This isn't some ugly kid
who went missing. No.
192
00:07:13,546 --> 00:07:14,880
This is a person who matters.
193
00:07:14,914 --> 00:07:17,316
To fully understand
the weight of this tragedy,
194
00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,985
let's take a look at some photos
of Steve to the song,
195
00:07:20,019 --> 00:07:22,387
"It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday",
196
00:07:22,422 --> 00:07:26,158
from the notable Boyz II Men
album, "Cooleyhighharmony."
197
00:07:26,192 --> 00:07:30,662
♪ And I'll take... ♪
♪ Take with me ♪
198
00:07:30,697 --> 00:07:34,199
♪ With me the memories... ♪
199
00:07:34,233 --> 00:07:36,368
♪ To be my sunshine ♪
200
00:07:36,402 --> 00:07:39,304
♪ After the rain ♪
201
00:07:39,339 --> 00:07:43,342
♪ It's so hard ♪
♪ Hard ♪
202
00:07:43,376 --> 00:07:46,912
♪ To say goodbye ♪
♪ Bye ♪
203
00:07:46,946 --> 00:07:52,184
♪ To yesterday. ♪
♪ Day. ♪
204
00:07:52,218 --> 00:07:53,819
(song ends)
205
00:07:53,853 --> 00:07:56,855
It's too early to speculate
whether Steve is dead or alive,
206
00:07:56,889 --> 00:07:58,690
but, when we come back, it won't be.
207
00:07:58,725 --> 00:08:01,093
And now, a word from our
sponsor, BeerWater.
208
00:08:01,127 --> 00:08:02,194
(bird screeches)
209
00:08:02,228 --> 00:08:07,866
You can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make him party.
210
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,835
Unless you have BeerWater!
211
00:08:09,869 --> 00:08:12,404
(house music plays)
212
00:08:16,809 --> 00:08:20,045
BeerWater...
quench your sober.
213
00:08:20,079 --> 00:08:22,481
This is great, right?!
214
00:08:22,515 --> 00:08:25,083
I just saw the early ratings
and we're holding 81 percent
215
00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:26,798
of the Taiwanese prayer breakfast numbers.
216
00:08:26,819 --> 00:08:29,421
Yeah. Listen, now that
I got you your hot story,
217
00:08:29,455 --> 00:08:31,556
I get to do my report on
Garbage Island, right?
218
00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:33,031
Yeah. We're definitely
gonna do that.
219
00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:34,993
A thousand percent,
top priority on my mind.
220
00:08:35,028 --> 00:08:37,529
MEN:
♪ It's so hard... ♪
221
00:08:37,563 --> 00:08:38,597
What the hell is that?
222
00:08:38,631 --> 00:08:40,866
♪ To say goodbye... ♪
223
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:41,967
And we...
224
00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:44,903
have... vigil.
♪ To yesterday. ♪
225
00:08:44,938 --> 00:08:48,507
(women crying)
226
00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:50,442
Look how sad everyone is.
227
00:08:50,476 --> 00:08:51,576
I did this!
228
00:08:51,611 --> 00:08:55,480
Officer, please, find our baby boy.
229
00:08:55,515 --> 00:08:58,283
We're doing everything we can
with the evidence we have.
230
00:08:58,318 --> 00:08:59,952
Which... is...
231
00:08:59,986 --> 00:09:01,320
no evidence.
232
00:09:01,354 --> 00:09:03,188
But we will, uh...
233
00:09:03,222 --> 00:09:04,723
find him?
234
00:09:05,992 --> 00:09:08,560
Whoa. A monkey
holding a banana?!
235
00:09:08,595 --> 00:09:11,196
So many Beanie Babies here
I haven't seen before.
236
00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:12,764
Francine, look at this one!
237
00:09:12,799 --> 00:09:14,833
It's a bear in a bunny costume.
238
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:17,469
What are you doing
in a bunny costume, bear?
239
00:09:17,503 --> 00:09:20,138
I'm here with the parents,
Stan and Francine Smith.
240
00:09:20,173 --> 00:09:21,673
Do you folks have a statement?
241
00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:24,076
I just want my baby to come home.
242
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:25,344
Of course you do.
243
00:09:25,378 --> 00:09:27,446
But I'd let yourself
want other things, too.
244
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,947
I mean, we're at a vigil.
245
00:09:28,982 --> 00:09:31,550
It's not like you have those
when things are going great.
246
00:09:31,584 --> 00:09:33,819
(crying)
247
00:09:35,054 --> 00:09:38,223
If you'll excuse me, I have
to go comfort my wife now.
248
00:09:38,258 --> 00:09:40,492
I bet a Beanie Baby would cheer her up.
249
00:09:40,526 --> 00:09:41,827
Like this one.
250
00:09:41,861 --> 00:09:43,128
She might like this one.
251
00:09:43,162 --> 00:09:45,764
(gasps) This one reminds
me of Abigail Breslin.
252
00:09:45,798 --> 00:09:47,933
Not so much the way it looks,
but its energy.
253
00:09:50,203 --> 00:09:51,536
Great work, Hayley!
254
00:09:51,571 --> 00:09:52,971
This story is just what I needed.
255
00:09:53,006 --> 00:09:55,140
I know, but I feel awful.
256
00:09:55,174 --> 00:09:56,775
My mom is devastated.
257
00:09:56,809 --> 00:09:58,610
Well, yeah, her little baby's missing.
258
00:09:58,645 --> 00:10:00,178
Th-That's the thing,
he's...
259
00:10:00,213 --> 00:10:01,613
(groans)
260
00:10:01,648 --> 00:10:03,282
...he's not really missing.
261
00:10:03,316 --> 00:10:06,051
I, I kind of staged the whole thing.
262
00:10:06,085 --> 00:10:08,453
Oh, my God, Hayley!
263
00:10:08,488 --> 00:10:10,489
You're a journalist!
What?!
264
00:10:10,523 --> 00:10:11,690
Sure!
265
00:10:11,724 --> 00:10:13,458
We don't report the news, we make it.
266
00:10:13,493 --> 00:10:15,227
Accuracy is so time-consuming.
267
00:10:15,261 --> 00:10:16,562
Fiction is the new fact.
268
00:10:16,596 --> 00:10:18,497
Roger, these people need to know that
269
00:10:18,531 --> 00:10:19,898
Steve isn't missing, okay?
270
00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:21,500
I got to come clean on this.
271
00:10:21,534 --> 00:10:23,014
You know what else has to come clean?
272
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:24,469
Garbage Island.
273
00:10:24,504 --> 00:10:25,737
Don't you still want to do your report?
274
00:10:25,772 --> 00:10:27,306
Of course I do!
275
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:30,042
But, uh, my mom, she's so torn up.
276
00:10:30,076 --> 00:10:32,978
Look, just let this ride
for one more day, all right?
277
00:10:33,012 --> 00:10:35,113
Besides, the more popular the story gets,
278
00:10:35,148 --> 00:10:36,281
the more viewers we'll have
279
00:10:36,316 --> 00:10:37,983
for your bummer piece on Garbage Island.
280
00:10:38,017 --> 00:10:39,151
(sighs) Fine.
281
00:10:39,185 --> 00:10:40,352
One more day.
282
00:10:40,386 --> 00:10:42,020
All right.
I'm gonna take a lap.
283
00:10:42,055 --> 00:10:45,357
It's super easy to take peoples'
wallets while they're crying.
284
00:10:45,391 --> 00:10:48,026
ANNOUNCER:
Justice hunter. Philanthropist.
285
00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:49,595
Has a Gmail account.
286
00:10:49,629 --> 00:10:54,032
This is News Glance with Genevieve Vavance.
287
00:10:54,067 --> 00:10:56,535
Been a tough day for all of us
here at the Glance.
288
00:10:56,569 --> 00:11:00,005
Steve Smith has now been
missing for 36 hours.
289
00:11:00,039 --> 00:11:01,874
I'm joined by some of Steve's classmates.
290
00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:03,275
You look like the type of girls
291
00:11:03,309 --> 00:11:05,010
who do a lot of regrettable things.
292
00:11:05,044 --> 00:11:06,245
How does it feel today,
293
00:11:06,279 --> 00:11:08,080
knowing you'll probably
never get to hit that?
294
00:11:08,081 --> 00:11:10,716
Sad. Steve was
really cute.
295
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,385
I guess I just wish I could've hit that.
296
00:11:13,419 --> 00:11:15,554
It's so important to have sex with people
297
00:11:15,588 --> 00:11:16,855
before they go missing.
298
00:11:18,925 --> 00:11:20,759
All those girls want me?!
299
00:11:20,793 --> 00:11:22,227
Awesome!
300
00:11:22,262 --> 00:11:26,031
The longer I stay in this cabin,
the more laid I'm gonna get!
301
00:11:26,065 --> 00:11:27,900
Yeah.
302
00:11:30,436 --> 00:11:31,436
More volume!
303
00:11:31,471 --> 00:11:33,005
I want it super big!
304
00:11:33,039 --> 00:11:34,506
You're doing a great job.
305
00:11:34,541 --> 00:11:36,608
I know I'm demanding,
but I'm working on it.
306
00:11:36,643 --> 00:11:38,710
But it also got me where I am today.
307
00:11:38,745 --> 00:11:41,013
So when I ask you to make it super big,
308
00:11:41,047 --> 00:11:42,414
I mean, make it super big!
309
00:11:42,448 --> 00:11:44,416
I will murder you!
310
00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:46,451
I'm sorry.
Work in progress.
311
00:11:46,486 --> 00:11:48,720
God is not finished with this gal.
312
00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:53,392
Hey, Genevieve, I'm all set to
do my story on Garbage Island.
313
00:11:53,426 --> 00:11:54,826
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get to it.
314
00:11:54,861 --> 00:11:57,029
But first, I got an
exclusive with the parents.
315
00:11:57,063 --> 00:11:59,398
Wait. What?!
316
00:11:59,432 --> 00:12:00,832
And we're back.
317
00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:03,202
I'm here tonight
with Stan and Francine Smith,
318
00:12:03,236 --> 00:12:07,539
heartbroken parents of America's
missing son, Steve Smith.
319
00:12:07,574 --> 00:12:11,944
Stan, Francine, why did
you murder your son?
320
00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:14,012
What?!
Not ready to confess?
321
00:12:14,047 --> 00:12:15,647
Let's look at some statistics.
322
00:12:15,682 --> 00:12:18,951
100% of the time a child goes
missing, the parents did it.
323
00:12:18,985 --> 00:12:20,285
ANNOUNCER:
Legally not a fact.
324
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,520
What are you talking about?
325
00:12:21,554 --> 00:12:22,688
And where'd you hide the body?
326
00:12:22,722 --> 00:12:24,156
We didn't hide the body.
327
00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:25,357
So you admit there's a body?!
328
00:12:25,391 --> 00:12:26,525
Why are you doing this?!
329
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:28,393
I'm sorry.
Its been a long week.
330
00:12:28,428 --> 00:12:29,761
Emotions are running wild.
331
00:12:29,796 --> 00:12:31,930
Can I get you something?
A BeerWater perhaps?
332
00:12:31,965 --> 00:12:33,799
No, thanks.
That stuff gives me diarrhea.
333
00:12:38,037 --> 00:12:40,305
Stan, are you close with your son?
334
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,207
No, but that doesn't mean I murdered him!
335
00:12:42,242 --> 00:12:44,676
Interesting.
Can we play that back?
336
00:12:44,711 --> 00:12:46,545
I murdered him!
337
00:12:46,579 --> 00:12:48,480
You son of a bitch!
338
00:12:48,515 --> 00:12:50,082
(clicking) Oh!
339
00:12:50,116 --> 00:12:51,850
(gasps) We have to take a break.
340
00:12:51,885 --> 00:12:53,418
WOMAN:
BeerWater...
341
00:12:53,453 --> 00:12:54,987
it won't give you diarrhea.
342
00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:56,855
(bird screeches)
343
00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:58,223
(quietly):
Just keep it natural.
344
00:12:58,258 --> 00:13:01,226
You guys are doing great.
You're coming off super likable.
345
00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:03,929
Francine, how many times
did you stab your son?
346
00:13:03,963 --> 00:13:05,764
None!
Huh.
347
00:13:05,799 --> 00:13:07,866
Well, my team and I created a reenactment
348
00:13:07,901 --> 00:13:10,536
of what we believe happened
the night Steve disappeared.
349
00:13:12,071 --> 00:13:14,206
You know what
I've been thinking about lately?
350
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,209
How Steve is the worst?
351
00:13:17,243 --> 00:13:19,444
Yes! I kind of want
to murder him.
352
00:13:19,479 --> 00:13:22,114
Great idea!
We'll use my knife!
353
00:13:22,148 --> 00:13:23,615
(clinking)
354
00:13:24,651 --> 00:13:26,485
Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
355
00:13:26,519 --> 00:13:28,720
Just coming in here to love you.
356
00:13:36,496 --> 00:13:39,932
I... forgive... you.
357
00:13:42,769 --> 00:13:45,971
(laughter)
358
00:13:48,074 --> 00:13:50,742
Gruesome stuff.
359
00:13:50,777 --> 00:13:53,078
Can you two stick around
for my next guest? Yeah?
360
00:13:53,112 --> 00:13:55,781
Well, please welcome Officer Keith Benson!
361
00:13:55,815 --> 00:13:56,548
What?!
362
00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,016
Stan and Francine Smith,
363
00:13:58,051 --> 00:14:00,552
you are under arrest for
the murder of your son.
364
00:14:00,587 --> 00:14:01,687
What the hell?!
365
00:14:01,721 --> 00:14:02,855
We didn't kill him!
366
00:14:02,889 --> 00:14:04,089
We love our son!
367
00:14:04,124 --> 00:14:05,591
Wait! Officer, please!
368
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:07,659
You're making a mistake!
369
00:14:07,694 --> 00:14:09,461
Tragic.
370
00:14:09,496 --> 00:14:10,929
After the break: bulimia.
371
00:14:10,964 --> 00:14:13,265
Bad for you,
but is it good for your toilet?
372
00:14:13,299 --> 00:14:15,300
Find out tonight at 11:00.
373
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,427
Are you crazy?!
374
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,562
You let my mom and dad go to jail?!
375
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,598
Now, I know you're angry, but
try not to let that come through
376
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:29,401
when you do your report
on Garbage Island, which is now!
377
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,737
Go!
(theme music plays)
378
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:36,308
Um... m-mo-most people like to
get wasted on an exotic island,
379
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,911
but this island is waste.
380
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,145
(sighs)
381
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,747
I'm sorry. I can't do this.
382
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,082
Isn't she a trouper?
383
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,583
Still trying to save the world
384
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,051
when, just moments ago, she learned
385
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,487
that her parents murdered
her little handsome brother.
386
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,356
They murdered her brother!
387
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,192
Camera two, they murdered her brother!
388
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,028
I'm sorry. Cut! Cut!
I can't do this!
389
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:59,198
♪ ♪
390
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,702
Okay, from the top.
391
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,071
(whistling "Ode to Joy")
392
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,810
Steve!
My orchestra!
393
00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:14,179
Pack your bags, Steve.
We're going home.
394
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,715
Home? Are you crazy?
395
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,584
"Steve Fever" is starting to build.
396
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,085
I'll be dropping more panties
397
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,388
than when Mr. Bean worked
at Victoria's Secret.
398
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,856
Haven't you been watching?!
399
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,624
Mom and Dad got arrested!
400
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:29,361
Huh?!
Yeah. This kidnapping is officially over.
401
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,830
(theme music plays)
Un... expected... twist!
402
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:33,966
It is with a heavy heart
403
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,235
that I must report one
of my own journalists,
404
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,304
Hayley Smith, kidnapped her brother
405
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:41,640
and framed her own parents for his murder!
406
00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:42,741
(whispering):
Let her take the fall,
407
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:43,809
or you're going down with her.
408
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,644
Thank God we found him!
409
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:48,147
He seems to be okay,
at least above the waist.
410
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:51,050
Steve, did she do stuff to you?
411
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:53,185
Oh, God, she did!
412
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:55,587
Camera two, she did!
413
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,755
What?!
414
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:57,990
These are all lies!
415
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,325
Steve, tell them the truth!
416
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,465
Genevieve Vavance is right!
417
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,133
My sister kidnapped me!
418
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,435
Steve!
419
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,836
(siren blaring)
420
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,271
(tires squealing)
421
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,539
We got a runner!
422
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:16,108
You cops split up
and comb each side of the river.
423
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,810
Don't come back until you get her!
424
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,611
Genevieve, is that you?
425
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,380
It's me... Edward.
426
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,082
Edward? No.
427
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,950
No, you can't be Edward.
428
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,953
Edward weighed at least
25 pounds more than you.
429
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:29,788
I lost that weight in the academy.
430
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,423
You look good, Genny.
431
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,592
I see you kept my name.
432
00:16:33,627 --> 00:16:35,794
Only because
it was TV-ready.
433
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,696
I'm married to my career now.
434
00:16:37,731 --> 00:16:39,732
You always were.
435
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,636
I got to go, Eddie.
436
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,771
My story's leaving, and I got to chase it.
437
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,977
Hey, Sarge, was that her?
438
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,013
I get it now.
439
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:10,162
Hey, you mind if I borrow
your Metro section?
440
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,197
(in deep voice):
Sure.
441
00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:18,938
MALE ANNOUNCER (on TV): Tonight, don't miss
The Steve Smith Homecoming Spectacular
442
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:22,841
hosted live by legendary
reporter, Genevieve Vavance,
443
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,443
with a special tribute
444
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,813
by universally-likable
crooner Josh Groban!
445
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,852
(applause, cheering and whistling)
446
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,554
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
447
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,824
it's The Steve Smith
Homecoming Spectacular!
448
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,194
Please welcome special
musical guest Josh Groban!
449
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,762
(applause and cheering)
450
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:47,433
♪ He was lost but now he's found ♪
451
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,603
♪ We just wanted to have him around ♪
452
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:54,540
♪ He's the Steveiest, he's the Steveiest ♪
453
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,543
♪ He's utterly Steve ♪
454
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,980
♪ Oh, Steve, in the night we called for you ♪
(applause and cheering)
455
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:03,983
♪ Steve, in the night we bawled for you ♪
(audience groans)
456
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:05,718
♪ Now you're home ♪
457
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,821
♪ Stay with us ♪
458
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:14,760
♪ Stay, Steve! ♪
459
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,463
(applause and cheering)
460
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,465
And please welcome my dear friend
461
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,067
and spiritual guide,
Miss Genevieve Vavance.
462
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,969
(applause and cheering, theme music plays)
463
00:18:24,004 --> 00:18:25,871
Thanks, Grobes.
See you next month in Mexico.
464
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,573
I put your name on the room,
465
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,675
in case you want to check in before me.
466
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,244
And now let's have a big welcome back for
467
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:35,848
Steve Smith and his parents,
Stan and Francine!
468
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,883
(applause)
469
00:18:39,653 --> 00:18:41,120
Thank you for being here.
470
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,621
Now, let's start with the parents.
471
00:18:42,656 --> 00:18:43,856
How thankful are you
472
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,425
that my accusing you of murder
has brought an end
473
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,593
to this terrible ordeal?
474
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,395
On a scale from 90 to 100.
475
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,897
Then... 90.
476
00:18:51,932 --> 00:18:53,666
90. Wow! Still an A!
477
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,335
(applause) They don't just give those out!
478
00:18:57,370 --> 00:19:00,973
And Steve Smith, here you are, safe, free,
479
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,775
the nightmare behind you.
480
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,945
Tell us: what was it like to
be kidnapped by your own sister?
481
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,680
Well, I...
482
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:08,747
I'm not sure.
483
00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:10,082
Is that right?
484
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,518
Well, maybe the teleprompter can help.
485
00:19:15,055 --> 00:19:17,756
Um... I... Well...
486
00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,925
Uh, I had heard that there was never a time
487
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,560
you weren't certain you were going to die.
488
00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:22,861
(audience gasping)
489
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:25,064
Every girl in that crowd wants you.
490
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:27,032
Just read the damn prompter.
491
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,072
"My crazy sister locked me up
492
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:36,041
and made me kiss a raccoon
on the mouth..."
493
00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:38,043
No! That's not true.
494
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:39,245
None of this is!
495
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,946
Wha-What-What?!
496
00:19:40,981 --> 00:19:42,248
I can't do this.
497
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,116
My sister didn't kidnap me.
498
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,986
I humiliated myself at school,
so she helped me hide.
499
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,821
This entire thing was staged.
500
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,055
(audience gasping)
501
00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:52,258
And Genevieve Vavance was in on it.
502
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:55,361
Yes, I staged Steve's kidnapping,
503
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:57,363
but Genevieve Vavance knew about it.
504
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,431
She had my parents arrested for a crime
505
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:01,033
she knew they didn't commit,
506
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,435
and when I told her to stop,
she framed me, too.
507
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:04,970
(audience murmuring) We trusted you!
508
00:20:05,005 --> 00:20:06,805
You're supposed to be a journalist!
(audience booing)
509
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,909
I can't read!
I depend on you!
510
00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:12,111
Whoa!
511
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:16,615
Uh, uh, everyone, a big hand
for the BeerWater mermaids!
512
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,183
(dance music plays)
513
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:20,686
(audience clamoring)
514
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,658
(screaming)
515
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,696
(gasps)
516
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,133
Hayley, I'm sorry I let
everyone think you kidnapped me.
517
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,062
No, Steve.
518
00:20:35,182 --> 00:20:37,203
I'm the one who owes you an apology.
519
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:40,306
I just wanted to be a journalist
and get the truth out there,
520
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:43,809
but I ended up compromising
all my beliefs along the way.
521
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,011
(sighs) I learned my lesson.
522
00:20:46,046 --> 00:20:48,214
I'll never be ambitious again.
523
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,848
Hayley, I have no idea what's going on,
524
00:20:49,883 --> 00:20:53,199
but it sounds like
I should be proud of you.
525
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:54,453
That ballad was supposed
526
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,618
to be my "Candle in the Wind", you dicks.
527
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:04,345
All right, I'm gonna do the
bumpers for the next few shows.
528
00:21:04,465 --> 00:21:06,566
Just keep it rollin'.
I ain't doing this twice.
529
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,202
What household item could
kill you in the next half-hour?
530
00:21:09,236 --> 00:21:12,138
We'll tell you tonight...
at 11:00!
531
00:21:12,173 --> 00:21:14,441
Easily surprised?
You'll be shocked
532
00:21:14,475 --> 00:21:16,576
by what you learn
tonight at 11:00.
533
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:19,131
Texting and driving...
how it may save your life.
534
00:21:19,251 --> 00:21:20,880
Tonight at 11:00!
535
00:21:20,915 --> 00:21:22,582
Is Mario Lopez gay?
536
00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:25,018
We make irresponsible guesses,
tonight at 11:00.
537
00:21:25,052 --> 00:21:27,253
The results will shock him.
538
00:21:27,288 --> 00:21:30,390
Tonight, at 11:00, teens are
having sex younger and younger.
539
00:21:30,424 --> 00:21:31,658
Want to watch?
540
00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:36,511
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com web dl sync snarry