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Previously on Californication:
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00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:12,668
- I got the part.
- Congrats.
3
00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:14,270
Way to go.
4
00:00:14,447 --> 00:00:17,939
You do realize that Rath might have
certain expectations now, right?
5
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:22,214
Are you saying he expects me to have
sex with him or give him a blow job?
6
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:23,549
So who recommended you?
7
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:25,384
- Stu Beggs.
- My ex.
8
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:28,925
He said you needed the work, that
your husband isn't much of an earner.
9
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:30,187
I waxed a hooker today.
10
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,558
She was young and cute
and totally down to fuck.
11
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,393
Really? Is this wrong?
12
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:36,034
I can't tell anymore.
13
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:39,467
Dude, you got me a fucking hooker?
Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
14
00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:42,107
This is what I thought
having a father would be like.
15
00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:43,902
The clit's on top, right?
16
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:45,635
Another happy customer.
17
00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:47,905
You know how
you tell your mother everything?
18
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:51,312
- Are you gonna tell her about this?
- She would be totally pissed.
19
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,042
- Good to know.
- What about me?
20
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:57,121
I impulse-remarried a depraved lunatic
who can't even get it up for me.
21
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,019
I need a manager
who cares about me...
22
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,160
...as much as
about what me can do for him.
23
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:04,160
- I do, Goldie.
- Get me off this fucking show.
24
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,730
- Why?
- Rath humiliated me.
25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:10,063
You're getting hard right now,
aren't you?
26
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,965
Why does this keep happening to me?
27
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,741
Sorry.
28
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:30,252
Killing bad guys is my business,
and business be fucking cracking.
29
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,688
When I'm killing crackheads,
know what I'm saying?
30
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:37,352
- Yeah.
- So don't y'all worry about the funny.
31
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That's my job.
I bring the fucking funny.
32
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:45,730
Here's what's not my job.
Delivering all your expositional shit.
33
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:50,103
Save that yickity-yack for the guest stars,
all right? Now, Danko's cool.
34
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,609
He's cool. Only time that nigga
open his mouth, he got something to say.
35
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,975
And that shit better be worth saying,
all right?
36
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:59,880
None of that nonsensical cop jargon
y'all motherfuckers always be writing.
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00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,749
"Watch out." "Get down."
38
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:04,651
"Damn."
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00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,223
"Now, that's how you drive."
40
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I can say a whole lot with a look.
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Peep.
42
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:14,857
Yeah.
43
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:18,435
I don't know about you guys,
but I think I just shit my pants.
44
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,539
- That's not the shit-my-pants look.
- Oh, no?
45
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:26,145
This is the shit-my-pants look. Slo-mo.
46
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:36,882
That's dramatic.
47
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:39,081
- Y'all peep? Y'all feel that?
- Oh, yeah.
48
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:43,593
No, I feel it. It's like an electromagnetic
pulsing in my asshole area.
49
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:45,956
Yo, who's this cat?
50
00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:49,932
Hashtag Black, allow me to introduce
our newest writer, Hank Moody.
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00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,593
Yo, Hank Moody, the raper.
52
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:53,864
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yep. The one and the same.
53
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,372
- I'm a big fan of all your wrongdoings.
- Thank you.
54
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,511
You used to work side by side
with Samurai.
55
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,669
He was just "Sam" to me.
Calvin, actually.
56
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,871
He said you was cool.
57
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:04,949
Also said you like sticking your pee-pee
where it don't belong.
58
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,678
I like to think that doesn't define me
as a human being.
59
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,948
I also like to think that my pee-pee
belongs wherever it winds up.
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00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,718
Oh, yeah, you gonna be my guy,
Moody.
61
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,259
- You gonna be my set bitch.
- Oh, no.
62
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,897
- You cool with that?
- Absolutely. Whatever you want.
63
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:22,557
I'm not a big fan of the set, per se.
I find the hours quite punishing.
64
00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:26,933
Has anybody given thought to maybe
starting later? Or shorter hours, perhaps?
65
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:29,540
- What the fuck is he going on about?
- Fuck if I know.
66
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,405
E*xcuse me, Hashtag,
I'd love to pitch you an idea...
67
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,241
Yo, pitches hurt my ears,
especially pitches from bitches.
68
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,975
No offense. Got the tendency
of using too many words.
69
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,779
Know what I mean? Why use one word
when you can use 10?
70
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:44,014
Yeah. That's funny.
Actually, I can be quite brief...
71
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:47,159
Goldie, the man doesn't wanna hear
your pitch right now.
72
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Yo, peace, writer peoples.
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00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:51,229
- Let me walk you out.
- Love you.
74
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:52,455
- Hashtag.
- Love you.
75
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,862
Kickoff party tonight at my place.
Be there.
76
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:58,936
Behave yourselves, don't break anything,
and no fucking in my pool.
77
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,129
Terry.
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00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,334
Does anybody else wanna
be set bitch?
79
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:03,736
- No.
- Set bitches?
80
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,138
- Set bitch? Set bitch?
- No.
81
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:07,609
- Terry, I'll arm-wrestle you for it.
- No.
82
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:05,660
Holy TV money, Batman.
83
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:08,568
Yeah, look at that.
The house that utter mediocrity built.
84
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:10,766
It's inspiring, Hank.
85
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:14,208
I've never felt more determined
to sign TV-writer clients.
86
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,008
Do not shit where I eat, Charlie.
It's unsanitary.
87
00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:20,516
Oh, greetings and salutations,
24-hour party people.
88
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:23,952
This is the guy I was telling you about,
the one who came in his pants.
89
00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:26,591
- Nice to meet you. Charlie Runkle.
- Nice to meet you.
90
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:30,388
I'm Hank's manager
and heterosexual life mate.
91
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:33,259
Nice to meet you.
You must be the lovely Julia.
92
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,196
Number one
on the baby-mama call sheet.
93
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:39,304
- Levon says great things about you.
- Not really, like at all, ever.
94
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:42,771
So, Dad, we gonna see some big tits
and round asses up in here tonight?
95
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:44,842
I'm not afraid to pull your pants down...
96
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,377
...and spank your ass
in a room full of strangers.
97
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:50,448
- I know you're not. I'm sorry.
- Go inside and behave yourself.
98
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,244
- I'm gonna talk to your dad.
- Let's check out the talent.
99
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,478
You're not going in pitching a tent,
are you?
100
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- Behave.
- Okay.
101
00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,685
What's up?
102
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:02,559
Do you notice anything weird
about Levon?
103
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,128
How could you possibly tell?
104
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:07,289
He seems different.
More relaxed, confident.
105
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:11,028
- That's a bad thing?
- No, it's great. I just... I'm not used to it.
106
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,696
Well, maybe having a job has done
wonders for the young man's psyche.
107
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,136
Or maybe knowing his dad...
108
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,369
...who's actually proving to be something
of a positive role model.
109
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,275
I don't think that could be it, do you?
110
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,016
Wow, nice house.
111
00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:28,415
Yeah. One day, all this could be yours.
112
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:30,886
Mrs. Julia Rath. Has a nice ring to it.
113
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,319
It was just one date.
114
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:33,857
Hope he wasn't too hands-y.
115
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:37,018
No, he was a perfect gentleman.
Actually, too perfect, you know?
116
00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:39,426
Because sometimes you just want
a guy to like:
117
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,659
What? What?
You want a guy to what?
118
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,700
My schween is hanging on
your every word.
119
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:48,500
There's a potential erection
hanging in the balance here. What?
120
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:51,541
I haven't been to a party in so long,
I don't know what to do.
121
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,236
It's like riding a bike.
You just have a drink or 10...
122
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,747
...and hope you don't wake up
with a tattoo or a bloody asshole or both.
123
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,544
Shall we?
124
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:12,558
Get me a refill.
125
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,893
I like when you order me around.
126
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,295
I'm serious. I do.
127
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,828
Stu, Nikki, how's it hanging?
128
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,632
Hank, how are you?
129
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,707
- Hey, baby.
- How's the kid?
130
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:26,276
- He's still basking in the afterglow.
- You two guys know each other?
131
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,505
She relieved my son of his virginity.
132
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,275
World class, dude.
133
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,412
I wish my pops would've
popped my cherry like that.
134
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:37,249
Instead, he sat me down,
he gave me a copy of Playboy...
135
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:39,983
...and told me both men and women
had nipples.
136
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:44,160
Can we keep the whole
Levon-slash-hooker thing on the DL?
137
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:46,389
His mom's here
and she doesn't know about it.
138
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,557
Oh, I am nothing if not discreet.
139
00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:50,292
Oh, now, that is true.
140
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,370
She is amazing.
141
00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:56,201
She lets me do the kinkiest stuff to her,
and she never tells a soul.
142
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,605
- You are so cute.
- Wow, sounds like a keeper.
143
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,746
Yeah. And she looks like Marcy, right?
144
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,210
Yo, Moody.
145
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,178
- Hey, Hashtag.
- How you be, bro?
146
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:05,874
- I be good.
- Hashtag.
147
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,486
- Big Dick Beggs.
- Hey, Hashtag.
148
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,047
- They say he got a big dick, right?
- Yeah.
149
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,750
That's crazy. Yo, Stu,
I gotta talk to Moody over here.
150
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,087
Whatever.
151
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:19,026
- Let me get my drink.
- Moody, I gotta level with you, man.
152
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,722
Rath is fucking my shit up.
153
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,494
That's probably something
you should bring up with Rath.
154
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,330
Motherfucker's too stubborn to hear.
155
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,769
He's all about the drama.
I'm all about the funny.
156
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,032
He wants to do The Wire.
157
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,972
I'm trying to do 48 Hours
for a new generation, you hear me?
158
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:34,408
I need you to help me out
like you helped Samurai.
159
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:38,607
We can do a modern-day action-comedy.
E*mphasis on the comedy.
160
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:42,276
I'm not really in a position to do that,
Hashtag. And I'm not that funny.
161
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,184
Yeah, but you's fucking witty, right?
162
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,723
- And I'm fucking funny.
- You are fucking funny.
163
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:50,124
Together we can...
Damn. Who's that piece of ass?
164
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:53,857
That would be Julia. She's got a small
part on the show as a squad secretary.
165
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:57,298
- You're gonna be doing scenes with her.
- Oh, I'm doing scenes with her.
166
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:01,531
- I'm doing scenes with her up in here.
- She's also the mother of my son.
167
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,272
Oh, okay. You're not together?
168
00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:05,467
No, not currently.
169
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:09,873
- So you ain't crushing that ass?
- Not at the present. Like, 20 years ago.
170
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,813
And even then, I wasn't
so much crushing it as admiring it.
171
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:17,149
- I don't like to be too rough with the ass.
- Oh, I like to destroy that shit.
172
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,016
I wanna murder that ass.
173
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:22,319
I understand what you're saying,
but your language is so aggressive.
174
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:25,953
You see, if you murder the ass,
then there's no ass left to enjoy.
175
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,599
See, that's where you're wrong.
176
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:31,328
You gotta murder that ass so no other
motherfucker can enjoy that ass, right?
177
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,369
- No.
- It's like a metaphorical murder.
178
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:35,131
- Yeah, you feel me?
- I do feel you.
179
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,832
- Cool. You see that?
- Yeah.
180
00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:39,807
I'm gonna see if I can turn this bitch out.
Catch you later.
181
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:42,641
Think about my words.
Hashtag, words.
182
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:45,343
Thought about them.
Thought about them.
183
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,610
The fuck was that about?
184
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:48,083
It seems your number one...
185
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:52,190
...is warm for your number 16's form. And
he doesn't like the way you're writing him.
186
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:56,260
It's not enough that I have to fight with
this fucker over expository dialogue...
187
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,158
...now he feels entitled to my woman?
188
00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:00,758
- She's your woman now?
- Come on.
189
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,458
Cut me some slack, all right?
I'm a little heated up.
190
00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:06,833
- She say anything about me?
- Said you were the perfect gentleman.
191
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:08,030
- Good, good.
- Yeah.
192
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,471
- I'm trying. Usually I'm a fucking asshole.
- Yeah.
193
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:14,010
- Trying to take it easy with her.
- Right. But sometimes you gotta...
194
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:17,115
- What?
- Well, you know. Sometimes you gotta...
195
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,183
- Sometimes you gotta what?
- You know.
196
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:22,150
- Shit, here comes Shrek.
- That's my son you're talking about.
197
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:26,223
I'm sorry, all right? I'm all worked up.
I gotta head this shit off at the pass.
198
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:27,750
Guess what.
199
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:30,953
Wait. You were born a pauper to a pawn
on a Christmas day...
200
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,190
...when The New York Times said
"God is dead, and the war's begun."
201
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,392
Come on, I hate that. Nikki's here.
202
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:37,900
I know. She's with Stu Beggs.
203
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:41,870
- Can I borrow some money?
- Oh, so Levon does like his money.
204
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,202
- Why?
- I wanna bone her again.
205
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,537
She's with Stu.
206
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:47,736
She can't spare a few minutes
for business?
207
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:50,404
- Your mom is here.
- So? There's a ton of rooms.
208
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:53,177
- And it's very expensive.
- Okay, I'll pay you back.
209
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:55,843
- No, you won't.
- I'm really pissed at you right now.
210
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,546
I'm a little pissed at you.
211
00:10:57,723 --> 00:11:00,317
That feeling is back,
like I gotta fuck something.
212
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,687
- Okay.
- I need a release.
213
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:05,729
Look, I understand. Just try to find a nice,
quiet bathroom and go beat off.
214
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:09,061
You'll feel better. Just clean up afterwards
and wash your hands.
215
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:13,331
Yeah, but now that I got my dick wet,
beating off just seems kind of lame.
216
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:17,101
Yes, I get that. But masturbation is still
gonna be a huge part of your life.
217
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:21,269
E*ven though you got laid, girls aren't just
gonna start hurling themselves at you.
218
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:25,146
I should've just stayed a virgin.
It would've been better not having...
219
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,751
...a glimpse of the promised land.
- Good talk.
220
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:36,719
Are you sure you should be drinking?
221
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,796
I'm not allergic to vodka, asshole.
222
00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:41,091
Sorry. Who would know?
223
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,894
You know what I am allergic to?
224
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:45,162
- Semen.
- Oh, really?
225
00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:48,363
Yeah, can't spit or swallow.
Totally burns the back of my throat.
226
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:52,944
One time I took one up top.
Fucking broke out in hives and blotches.
227
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:56,980
Blowing a load on me is like
throwing holy water on Linda Blair.
228
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:00,945
What up?
229
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,611
I'm so fucking pissed at Rath right now.
230
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:04,813
Oh, why?
231
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,924
He let Hashtag call me a bitch today.
232
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:10,585
- Doesn't really seem like Rath's style.
- Why would you take his side?
233
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,321
I'm not taking his side.
234
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:15,262
Goldie, cooler heads. Cooler heads.
235
00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:18,597
First, he rewrites me, then he
humiliates me in front of Hashtag.
236
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:22,002
I mean, he's trying to send me
a message, Charlie. He's out to get me.
237
00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:25,337
This is all part of his plan,
that slimy motherfucker...
238
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,342
...woman-hating dickhead...
239
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:29,344
Goldie.
240
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,506
- Rath. Hi.
- There she is.
241
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,878
- You good?
- Great.
242
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:35,145
I made sure they had
gluten-free shit for you.
243
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,084
- There you go.
- You're the best.
244
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,554
What a great home. Beautiful.
245
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,023
Work hard, you'll get there, right?
246
00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:46,129
Hey, I hope you're not using my party
as an opportunity to poach clients.
247
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:47,629
Never.
248
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:52,328
As if anyone would ever wanna sign with
this fucking degenerate lunatic, right?
249
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,302
Have fun.
250
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,614
I can't tell you much, but I can tell you...
251
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,980
...that we're planning on putting you
in some seriously hot outfits.
252
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:08,381
Truth.
253
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:11,955
Shut the fuck up, Hugh. You're creeping
out the female lead of the show.
254
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,116
Don't worry about it. He has absolutely
no decision-making power.
255
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:18,559
And he loves cupcakes and Coldplay
and sticking pencils up his pooper.
256
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,460
Who doesn't love Coldplay?
257
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,897
- And you are?
- Hank Moody. Newbie writer.
258
00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:24,695
Be gentle with me.
259
00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,663
You're the one who wrote
the movie, right?
260
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:31,742
I am one of 19 people who wrote
the movie that never came out.
261
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,435
And you wrote Fucking & Punching?
262
00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:37,378
I am only one of six people who wrote
that, which is why it's so damn good.
263
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,643
It is good. God, I love that movie.
264
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,146
Shucks. Thank you.
265
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:44,686
Can I be honest with you?
266
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,791
- Lf you must.
- I don't like the way...
267
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,426
...Rath's writing my character.
268
00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:50,858
You should probably
bring that up with Rath, then.
269
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,692
I did, and he blew me off.
270
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:56,858
- Can we talk about it for a minute?
- You mean, like right now?
271
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,070
I'll make it worth your while.
272
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,440
Hey.
273
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,241
Hey there, Runkle. How you doing?
274
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:13,146
- How's married life?
- It's, you know, ups and downs, Stu.
275
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:15,844
Checks and bal...
All good in the proverbial hood, yeah.
276
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:19,684
Wait, wait. You know, there's something
I've been meaning to talk to you about.
277
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,349
Oh, yeah? What's that, Stu?
278
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,325
I wanna sleep with Marcy again.
279
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:27,992
Stu...
280
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,532
...what is wrong with you?
281
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,965
I don't know.
282
00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:35,106
I mean, my career is on fire.
283
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:38,209
This television thing
has me shitting cash.
284
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:43,014
But without a queen,
my castle is a-crumbling.
285
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:47,278
Look, look, look,
I know you won her fair and square...
286
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:50,616
...but I can't stop thinking
about that magnificent creature.
287
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:55,158
You gotta move on, Stu,
because we are married, okay? Again.
288
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,761
I know that. I respect that.
289
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,692
You know, Marcy may very well
be your soul mate...
290
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:05,234
...but that woman was born
to be my sex partner.
291
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:07,899
And I just miss her so much.
292
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,466
So much.
293
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:14,079
Like, this last time
she let me go down on her...
294
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:18,239
...and I wasn't able to get my helmet
into that silky pond of hers.
295
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,783
You know, she's so fucking tight,
Charlie.
296
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,183
I mean, she makes me feel huge.
297
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:26,051
- And I'm already huge.
- I'm well aware, Stu.
298
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:30,491
Now, when was this
that she let you go down on her again?
299
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:34,394
It was way before you two
were remarried, of course.
300
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:38,669
It was a sunny day in Venice.
301
00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:40,865
Tuesday.
302
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,998
Quite possibly my last happy day.
303
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:48,203
Oh, God, you guys must be boning
every chance you can.
304
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,540
You're fucking newlyweds.
305
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,047
What is the point
of this conversation, Stu?
306
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:54,981
You miss fucking Marcy.
Okay, I get it. So what?
307
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:56,178
Runkle...
308
00:15:56,355 --> 00:16:00,121
...I have a proposal for you.
309
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:03,853
And, yes, it is quite indecent.
310
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:07,661
With your permission,
and hers, of course...
311
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:12,532
...I am willing to pay you guys
a cool 1 million...
312
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,333
...if you will let me sleep with her again.
313
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,634
Just the once.
314
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:21,177
Or as many times
as we can fit into a night.
315
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:24,015
Think about it.
316
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,359
- You totally made this worth my while.
- I told you I would.
317
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:40,491
Your notes are fucking bullshit,
but your weed is superb.
318
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,896
- You're funny.
- I am funny.
319
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:46,299
I mean, not like comedian funny,
but I'm witty.
320
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,962
I guess that's my thing.
321
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,870
Witty is good. You know,
nobody's really witty anymore.
322
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:55,070
That's right. Like Woody Allen
or Pauly Shore. It's a lost art, really.
323
00:16:56,715 --> 00:16:59,377
So, what brings a real writer
to Santa Monica Cop?
324
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,781
It was time to grow the fuck up.
I needed a job.
325
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,116
Look at you, all growed up.
326
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:08,623
What is a serious actress doing
on Santa Monica Cop?
327
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:12,560
I needed a job too,
but I'm not so keen on growing up.
328
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,398
E*xcuse me.
329
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:17,732
I need to make a confession.
330
00:17:17,903 --> 00:17:21,634
You're thinking impure thoughts
right now. That's totally understandable.
331
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:22,899
No.
332
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,067
- I hate this show.
- That's also totally understandable.
333
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,681
I had the option of taking this show
or some class-up-the-ass BBC thing...
334
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,975
...and my agent talked me
into taking this one.
335
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:35,609
- That's a bummer.
- Yeah. A big bummer.
336
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,315
Can you do me a favor?
337
00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:40,549
Can you please talk to Rath,
see if maybe he can kill me off?
338
00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:44,291
I promise I'll make it worth your while.
339
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,858
My head is spinning
with the possibilities.
340
00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:52,595
As it should. But in the meantime,
I have another little confession.
341
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,296
You have three tits and a dick.
342
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:57,233
Almost.
343
00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,845
One of my very best friends in
the whole wide world is Sasha Bingham.
344
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,504
- I know Sasha Bingham.
- I know you know Sasha Bingham.
345
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:06,150
Sasha Bingham
is the star of Fucking & Punching.
346
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,513
- She was, indeed.
- We had some good times.
347
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:12,548
E*xcept for the time when I accidentally
fucked her mom. That was unfortunate.
348
00:18:12,724 --> 00:18:14,214
She told me about that.
349
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,793
She also said
you give really great head.
350
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:21,160
- She did? That is so sweet of her.
- I know. She's sweet.
351
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,767
That is just a very nice thing to say
about a person.
352
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,700
- Will you give her my best?
- Absolutely.
353
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:30,198
Speaking of which,
what do you think defines great head?
354
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:33,310
Oh, well, I guess you'd have to ask
the head-getter.
355
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:37,711
Well, I mean, I've had good head,
but I don't know what makes it great.
356
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,614
I think you have to treat the bagina
like a person.
357
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,311
And how do you treat a person?
358
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:46,481
Like you yourself
would wanna be treated.
359
00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:50,094
I understand what you're saying.
It just sounds so intellectual.
360
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:54,431
After all, isn't it important for a writer
to show and not to tell?
361
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,329
Oh, my.
362
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,094
Oh, dear.
363
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,129
You do make a valid point.
364
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,367
Permission to come aboard?
365
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,637
Permission granted.
366
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,181
You're a very pleasant actress,
very agreeable.
367
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:20,486
I can do better.
368
00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:23,559
- Oh, hello.
- Hi.
369
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,697
- Hello.
- Sorry.
370
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:29,061
Hi. No, no. Hello.
371
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:30,758
- Hi.
- Amy Taylor Walsh.
372
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,598
It is lovely to meet you.
We're gonna be working together.
373
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:36,673
- Nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan.
- Great.
374
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,173
Me too. I'm a huge fan.
375
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:42,737
Yeah...
376
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:43,939
Sorry about that.
377
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,175
It's none of my beeswax.
378
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,841
What's going on?
379
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,454
Hashtag asked me
to go for a ride in his Bentley.
380
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:54,114
- That's probably not a good idea.
- Like going down on the female lead?
381
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:58,024
Much like that. You should keep
the flirtation with Hashtag to a minimum.
382
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,188
I'm not flirting with him.
He's just funny.
383
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,027
He is fucking funny,
and Rath is fucking jealous.
384
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,899
God, so much fuss over an actress
who hasn't worked in 20 years. It's so fun.
385
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,540
What can I say?
You get the boys all hot and bothered.
386
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,232
It's not like I'm some commodity.
387
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:14,072
I'm not interested in Rath
or Hashtag or anyone.
388
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,978
I'm just really happy
to have an acting job.
389
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:20,607
I don't wanna complicate my life.
Like when we kissed, I learned from that.
390
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:23,380
That's right, we kissed.
I totally forgot about that.
391
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,080
- You forgot that we kissed?
- Just a figure of speech.
392
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:28,988
Of course I remember.
And it was very nice.
393
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,629
It was nice. It was a familiar surprise.
394
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:34,789
It was a perfect storm
of booze and nitrous.
395
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,834
I was very vulnerable in that chair.
You took advantage of me.
396
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:41,268
You manipulated me
with all these bullshit compliments...
397
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,408
...about what a great mother I am.
398
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,907
You are a great mother.
You're a fantastic mother.
399
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,102
Don't do that.
400
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:49,543
- Mother Teresa's got nothing on you.
- That's mean.
401
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,979
You're probably a better kisser
than she ever was.
402
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:55,586
But who knows, maybe she had a rocking
bod underneath that saintly frock.
403
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:59,690
- Let me know when you wanna kiss.
- You just went down on a girl.
404
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,360
What if I brushed my teeth?
That's gotta be a bit of a turn-on.
405
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,359
Me offering to brush my teeth?
406
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:08,124
- Why did you go down on her?
- It's a long story.
407
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:12,369
But she heard I gave good head.
That's, you know...
408
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,096
You do give good head.
I mean, I don't know.
409
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,107
I don't even remember.
It was so long ago.
410
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,403
Oh, fuck.
411
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,273
- What?
- I think I'm hard.
412
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,211
Is that from before or from us?
413
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:28,615
Who can tell? I can't differentiate.
I mean, I don't know that I'd want to.
414
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:32,052
But I think there's only one way
to defuse this situation.
415
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:34,548
How?
416
00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:38,828
Get that pussy mouth away from me.
417
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,599
No, no.
418
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:49,133
What the fuck?
419
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,675
Told you this fucker like to stick
his pecker where it don't belong.
420
00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:56,473
Hey, I decide whose pecker goes
in here and whose doesn't, okay?
421
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,673
And you're a very charming
and funny guy...
422
00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:01,978
...but I'm a single mom, and not easily
wooed. E*ven with a Bentley.
423
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,712
I got a Ferrari.
424
00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:07,048
Rick, I really enjoyed our date.
I'm grateful to you...
425
00:22:07,225 --> 00:22:10,558
...for giving me an acting job and making
my childhood dreams come true.
426
00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:14,358
But if the job comes with strings attached,
then I cannot and will not do it.
427
00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:18,264
No, no. No strings attached.
The job is yours, Julia.
428
00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:20,337
I'll think about it.
429
00:22:20,872 --> 00:22:23,272
What you waiting for, Rath?
Fire his fucking ass.
430
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:25,501
You don't tell me who to hire
or who to fire.
431
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:28,737
- It's my fucking show.
- My character is the fucking show.
432
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,144
- Who says it's your fucking character?
- Nice.
433
00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:33,580
What the fuck are you doing?
You know I like her.
434
00:22:33,752 --> 00:22:35,583
I know it looked like funny business...
435
00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:38,518
...but it was just a tickle fight.
I swear to God. Honestly.
436
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:41,318
You are not gonna like this.
437
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:43,084
There's fucking in the pool.
438
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:45,354
Motherfuckers.
439
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:47,699
Motherfuckers.
440
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:56,065
Nine fucking bathrooms
in the fucking house...
441
00:22:56,241 --> 00:22:58,607
...and the asshole's gotta screw
in my pool, huh?
442
00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:00,745
Hey. Leon.
443
00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:03,403
I was very clear. No fucking in my pool.
444
00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:05,378
Levon, what are you doing?
445
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:09,281
Nikki, I'm paying you very good money
to be my date tonight.
446
00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:13,015
No, I know, Stu. I'm really sorry.
I just wanted to make a little extra cash.
447
00:23:13,191 --> 00:23:15,751
And honestly,
he said that Hank would take care of it.
448
00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:17,656
So really, this is all on you.
449
00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:19,626
Told you I wasn't
gonna lend you money.
450
00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:21,789
I know, but then my head
got all cloudy.
451
00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:24,629
This is how young people
get in trouble with credit cards.
452
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,566
She's a hooker? You're a hooker?
453
00:23:27,439 --> 00:23:28,929
Yeah, pretty much.
454
00:23:29,107 --> 00:23:32,770
But on the upside, I get tested,
like, all the time, so we're good.
455
00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:35,606
This is so upsetting.
You lost your virginity to a hooker.
456
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,307
- Not just. I mean...
- Hey, now.
457
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:41,350
I'm... Don't be upset, Mom.
I mean, she's really cool.
458
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,182
She's the coolest. I think I'm in love.
459
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:48,086
- You're in love with a hooker?
- No, actually, this is pretty common.
460
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,696
- Guys fall in love with me all the time.
- We never should've moved to L.A.
461
00:23:51,863 --> 00:23:53,160
Did you use a condom, honey?
462
00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:54,559
- Yes.
- Good.
463
00:23:54,733 --> 00:23:58,191
I'm sorry. Hank was just trying
to help me out. I should've left it alone.
464
00:23:58,370 --> 00:24:00,634
I should've been content
having sex with her once.
465
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:03,969
- But I had to fly too close to the sun.
- This isn't the first time?
466
00:24:04,142 --> 00:24:05,302
Here we go.
467
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:08,275
I'm sorry, I can't lie to my moms.
Don't blame Hank.
468
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:11,939
He thought he was doing the right thing.
And he was. I've never felt better.
469
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,142
I feel like a great weight
has been lifted.
470
00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:16,651
I'm glad Dad got me a hooker.
471
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,484
You got him a hooker?
472
00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:23,526
The way in which you ask that makes me
think you don't think it's a very good idea.
473
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:33,999
Yes, okay. Not a very good idea at all.
474
00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:36,902
I'm sorry, Julia.
I thought I was doing a good thing.
475
00:24:37,442 --> 00:24:40,741
Don't worry, Dad.
I'll smooth it out for you. I promise.
476
00:24:40,912 --> 00:24:43,506
- You happy now, Rath?
- Okay, not now, Goldie, not now.
477
00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:47,448
- This is the fucking ship that you run.
- Yes, this is the ship I run. Look at me.
478
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:50,986
- I'm captain of the HMS Fucktard.
- That's why I'm gonna take it from you.
479
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,885
- You don't deserve it.
- Be my guest.
480
00:24:53,058 --> 00:24:55,993
Knock yourself out
steering this ship of fools.
481
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:58,857
- I will. You tell him, Charlie. Tell him.
- Tell him what?
482
00:24:59,030 --> 00:25:01,225
Tell him he's disrespected me
for the last time.
483
00:25:01,399 --> 00:25:03,833
Okay. Rath, I think what Goldie
means to say is...
484
00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:07,597
- Shut the fuck up now.
- Shutting the fuck up now.
485
00:25:07,772 --> 00:25:09,069
You fucking pussy.
486
00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:11,209
- What?
- Does your suit come with tampons?
487
00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:18,080
Does that suit come with tampons?
See, that's funny, right?
488
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:21,219
If it's funny, I laugh.
You are actually fucking funny.
489
00:25:21,386 --> 00:25:23,377
- Am I actually fucking funny?
- Yeah.
490
00:25:23,555 --> 00:25:25,352
Fuck you, Hashtag.
491
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,856
- What is wrong with you?
- Think you can get away...
492
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:29,789
...with calling me a bitch?
- I didn't.
493
00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:33,556
I have respect for all womankind.
I said, "I don't take pitches from bitches.
494
00:25:33,732 --> 00:25:35,461
Y'all use too many words." That's it.
495
00:25:35,634 --> 00:25:39,229
Oh, that's a lot better. Tell him he
can't talk to me like that. Represent.
496
00:25:39,404 --> 00:25:41,304
Actually,
I agree with everything he says.
497
00:25:41,473 --> 00:25:43,737
My own wife, Marcy,
when she talks at me...
498
00:25:43,909 --> 00:25:46,742
...the sheer volume of words,
it makes my ears bleed.
499
00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:49,107
This bald motherfucker
knows of which he speaks.
500
00:25:49,281 --> 00:25:51,943
Thank you very much.
Oh, one of those too. I like that.
501
00:25:52,117 --> 00:25:53,243
- E*xcuse me.
- What?
502
00:25:53,418 --> 00:25:54,442
You're fucking fired.
503
00:25:54,619 --> 00:25:57,087
And you're fucking bat-shit crazy,
Goldie.
504
00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:00,625
Hey. Be nice to my agent.
505
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:03,050
Rath, where the fuck
you find these writers?
506
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:06,356
You just pull outside of a Home Depot
and say, "Hop the fuck in"?
507
00:26:06,531 --> 00:26:08,658
These are some seriously
tweaked motherfuckers.
508
00:26:12,804 --> 00:26:15,466
- Shit.
- Jesus.
509
00:26:25,150 --> 00:26:26,845
Riddle me this, Runks.
510
00:26:27,018 --> 00:26:30,283
How can I be in the doghouse
with a woman I'm not even dating?
511
00:26:30,455 --> 00:26:33,219
And why do I care so fucking much?
512
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,156
- Do you think you still have a job?
- I don't know.
513
00:26:40,999 --> 00:26:42,967
Do you think Goldie still has a job?
514
00:26:43,134 --> 00:26:44,863
My guess would be "fuck, no."
515
00:26:47,172 --> 00:26:49,231
What's wrong, pickle lips?
516
00:26:49,407 --> 00:26:51,136
I'm broke, Hank.
517
00:26:51,309 --> 00:26:52,674
You mean like "broke" broke?
518
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:55,803
Like totally and utterly broke.
519
00:26:55,981 --> 00:26:59,610
Like "I don't know how I'm gonna pay
the rent next month" broke.
520
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,547
Like... Like...
521
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,918
Like the kind of broke that forces a man
to do something desperate.
522
00:27:06,091 --> 00:27:07,820
I'm not gonna give you 20 percent.
523
00:27:07,993 --> 00:27:12,487
My next paycheck has to go to supporting
my son's new hooker habit.
524
00:27:16,901 --> 00:27:18,368
We're so fucking fucked.
525
00:27:18,536 --> 00:27:21,937
Yes, we are fucking fucked,
but we've been fucked before.
526
00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:27,578
In the ass, legs pinned behind our ears,
not a drop of lube.
527
00:27:27,746 --> 00:27:30,374
But we always come out smiling.
You know why?
528
00:27:30,548 --> 00:27:35,315
Because that's just the kind of
happy-go-lucky sluts we are, my man.
Ripped By mstoll