1
00:00:04,457 --> 00:00:06,591
Okay, Emma. One cheerio at a time.
2
00:00:06,692 --> 00:00:09,127
Walk to Daddy. I know you can do it.
3
00:00:09,228 --> 00:00:10,895
She's seconds away from walking.
4
00:00:10,996 --> 00:00:12,497
I can tell. Come on, Emma.
5
00:00:12,598 --> 00:00:14,132
Ben, she will walk when she's ready.
6
00:00:14,233 --> 00:00:15,900
Okay? She's a woman.
7
00:00:16,001 --> 00:00:18,302
If she knows you want
it, she ain't gonna do it.
8
00:00:18,403 --> 00:00:19,403
Go to work.
9
00:00:19,504 --> 00:00:20,471
- (Sighs)
- Fine.
10
00:00:20,573 --> 00:00:21,573
But if I miss her first steps,
11
00:00:21,674 --> 00:00:23,274
I'm holding all of you responsible.
12
00:00:23,375 --> 00:00:24,375
Bye, Baby.
13
00:00:25,844 --> 00:00:27,579
- (Door closes)
- I don't know.
14
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:28,713
She looks pretty ready to me.
15
00:00:29,748 --> 00:00:30,848
Come here, Emma.
16
00:00:30,950 --> 00:00:32,183
Walk to your uncle Danny.
17
00:00:34,587 --> 00:00:35,920
Come here, Baby.
18
00:00:37,222 --> 00:00:38,722
(Gasps)
19
00:00:38,823 --> 00:00:40,291
Ohh.
20
00:00:41,593 --> 00:00:43,561
Tucker and Riley: Ben, wait!
21
00:00:43,661 --> 00:00:45,896
(Theme music playing)
22
00:00:45,997 --> 00:00:49,032
♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪
23
00:00:49,134 --> 00:00:52,136
♪ can take your life
and change direction. ♪
24
00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:55,137
- Synced and corrected by Retrojex -
- www.addic7ed.com -
25
00:00:57,342 --> 00:00:59,076
Well, we didn't catch him.
26
00:00:59,177 --> 00:01:00,410
I forgot that when he hears a girl
27
00:01:00,411 --> 00:01:01,411
shouting his name on the street,
28
00:01:01,412 --> 00:01:02,312
he just runs faster.
29
00:01:02,413 --> 00:01:04,247
- (Chuckles)
- It's fine.
30
00:01:04,348 --> 00:01:06,549
We'll just call Ben and
tell him what he missed.
31
00:01:06,651 --> 00:01:08,251
Okay, no one is calling anyone.
32
00:01:09,587 --> 00:01:11,922
- That was actually your phone.
- I hate you.
33
00:01:13,124 --> 00:01:15,325
Ben would be devastated if he found out
34
00:01:15,426 --> 00:01:16,893
that he missed Emma's first steps.
35
00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,762
Well, maybe we can reenact it
36
00:01:18,863 --> 00:01:20,363
so it seems like the first time?
37
00:01:20,464 --> 00:01:22,132
Both: Yeah, that never works.
38
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,969
Look, Ben is a great dad.
39
00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:29,239
There's only one thing to do.
40
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:30,840
Lie lie lie
41
00:01:30,941 --> 00:01:32,975
like we have never lied before.
42
00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:34,644
So what if Ben misses this?
43
00:01:34,745 --> 00:01:37,780
I mean, he has missed a lot of firsts.
44
00:01:37,881 --> 00:01:39,015
Like her birth.
45
00:01:39,116 --> 00:01:40,816
Okay, maybe Ben didn't start out
46
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:42,217
being the best dad,
47
00:01:42,318 --> 00:01:44,020
but he has come a long way.
48
00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:45,121
All you boys have.
49
00:01:49,459 --> 00:01:51,360
Here you go.
50
00:01:51,461 --> 00:01:53,162
There.
51
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:55,597
Okay. Hi. Hi.
52
00:02:07,409 --> 00:02:08,543
Hold her.
53
00:02:20,822 --> 00:02:22,022
Whee!
54
00:02:22,123 --> 00:02:23,291
Isn't this fun?
55
00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:26,227
- There you go.
- (Gasps)
56
00:02:26,328 --> 00:02:27,928
Want to maybe
57
00:02:28,029 --> 00:02:29,263
take a step over here?
58
00:02:29,364 --> 00:02:30,464
Is she okay?
59
00:02:30,566 --> 00:02:32,032
Uh-huh.
60
00:02:33,502 --> 00:02:35,069
Have a seat.
61
00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:36,204
Oh.
62
00:02:36,305 --> 00:02:38,638
Nice and easy.
63
00:02:40,374 --> 00:02:41,708
Ah.
64
00:02:45,045 --> 00:02:46,346
Is she having fun?
65
00:02:48,282 --> 00:02:49,382
Yeah.
66
00:02:49,483 --> 00:02:50,783
You guys look comfy.
67
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,687
Excuse me.
68
00:02:53,787 --> 00:02:54,987
How old is your baby?
69
00:02:56,324 --> 00:02:58,557
Oh, um... that's a good question.
70
00:02:58,658 --> 00:03:01,460
I met Angela at that party in the village,
71
00:03:01,561 --> 00:03:03,295
- Mm.
- We dated for maybe six weeks
72
00:03:03,396 --> 00:03:05,831
before we were intimate.
73
00:03:08,668 --> 00:03:12,003
And she broke up with me
pretty much right after that.
74
00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:14,506
I'm sure there's no correlation.
75
00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:17,242
So we're into August now,
76
00:03:17,343 --> 00:03:18,909
and they take like nine months
77
00:03:19,010 --> 00:03:19,944
once they're up and running?
78
00:03:20,045 --> 00:03:22,380
- I think so.
- So...
79
00:03:25,718 --> 00:03:27,952
(Sighs)
80
00:03:28,053 --> 00:03:29,554
(Mouths)
81
00:03:29,655 --> 00:03:30,622
Three months.
82
00:03:30,723 --> 00:03:32,290
Three months.
83
00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:33,424
My baby's three months old.
84
00:03:33,525 --> 00:03:35,260
(Chuckles)
85
00:03:35,361 --> 00:03:36,893
This plan is not working.
86
00:03:36,994 --> 00:03:39,129
I'm out of food, the diaper's history,
87
00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:40,597
and the new one's gonna blow any minute.
88
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,232
And apparently, there's some new rule
89
00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:44,234
about bringing babies into the locker room?
90
00:03:44,335 --> 00:03:45,902
Hey, buddy!
91
00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:47,036
Why don't you put a towel on or something?
92
00:03:47,138 --> 00:03:48,372
I've got a baby over here.
93
00:03:48,473 --> 00:03:49,839
Rude.
94
00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:51,174
I cannot do this, okay?
95
00:03:51,276 --> 00:03:52,175
I've got a lap full of pee,
96
00:03:52,277 --> 00:03:53,410
and it isn't even mine.
97
00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:57,281
Hey! I can really use a diaper out here,
98
00:03:57,382 --> 00:03:58,782
and I know one of y'all's holding.
99
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:01,684
20 bucks for a diaper, miss, please?
100
00:04:01,785 --> 00:04:03,419
Baby or senior, at this
point it really don't matter.
101
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,020
Where you going?
102
00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:06,889
The cops are after us!
103
00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:08,223
We just broke into our
neighbor's apartment.
104
00:04:08,325 --> 00:04:10,359
You have to hide us!
105
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:12,828
You took Emma on a heist?
106
00:04:12,929 --> 00:04:14,563
See?
107
00:04:14,665 --> 00:04:16,799
Most fathers wouldn't do that.
108
00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:20,035
Okay, Emma. I gotta get to work.
109
00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:22,103
I'll see you at home, okay? All right.
110
00:04:22,204 --> 00:04:23,571
(Chuckles)
111
00:04:23,673 --> 00:04:26,641
Sorry about that.
112
00:04:26,742 --> 00:04:28,142
So are you sure there's nothing you can do?
113
00:04:28,243 --> 00:04:30,545
Actually, I think there is.
114
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,246
I didn't realize you were a couple.
115
00:04:34,917 --> 00:04:37,552
Who, me and Juice Box?
116
00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,086
Yeah.
117
00:04:39,188 --> 00:04:40,822
I mean, I bi-racial gay couple?
118
00:04:40,923 --> 00:04:42,489
That's like hitting the jackpot
119
00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:44,325
on the diversity form.
120
00:04:44,426 --> 00:04:46,194
Really?
121
00:04:46,295 --> 00:04:47,995
Yeah, you are a couple, aren't you?
122
00:04:48,096 --> 00:04:51,299
Yes, we are.
123
00:04:51,399 --> 00:04:54,168
A couple of guys raising a baby together.
124
00:04:54,269 --> 00:04:55,636
Baby's at the ready.
125
00:04:57,405 --> 00:04:58,840
Oh, yeah.
126
00:04:58,941 --> 00:04:59,973
In three,
127
00:05:00,074 --> 00:05:01,408
two, one.
128
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,976
- Roll! Roll!
- Come on, Emma.
129
00:05:03,077 --> 00:05:04,478
Come on, Emma. Come to Daddy.
130
00:05:04,579 --> 00:05:06,313
- Oh oh oh oh.
- This way. Lead with your head.
131
00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:07,881
- Oh oh!
- Emma, this way.
132
00:05:07,982 --> 00:05:11,251
- Come on, Baby, come on.
- Emma Emma Emma.
133
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,520
All: Emma?
134
00:05:13,621 --> 00:05:14,822
- Tucker: Where's the baby?
- Emma?
135
00:05:14,922 --> 00:05:16,557
- Emma?
- Found her. Under the table.
136
00:05:16,658 --> 00:05:18,091
Wait, here is my retainer.
137
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,293
I have been looking everywhere for this.
138
00:05:20,394 --> 00:05:21,494
Okay.
139
00:05:21,595 --> 00:05:23,163
Be careful. Grab this end.
140
00:05:23,264 --> 00:05:24,364
All right. On three.
141
00:05:24,465 --> 00:05:25,732
One, two, three.
142
00:05:25,833 --> 00:05:27,067
(Danny and Tucker grunt)
143
00:05:27,168 --> 00:05:28,335
It's okay.
144
00:05:28,435 --> 00:05:29,702
Knock-knock. Child services.
145
00:05:33,007 --> 00:05:35,775
Yeah, you really should
get used to hearing that.
146
00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:40,946
Bonnie: Danny, just put her down.
147
00:05:41,047 --> 00:05:44,116
It's not like she has a
limited number of steps in her.
148
00:05:44,217 --> 00:05:46,018
Well, what if she does?
149
00:05:46,119 --> 00:05:48,320
What if she uses them
all before Ben gets home?
150
00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:50,222
Well, if she runs out,
151
00:05:50,323 --> 00:05:52,224
she can always borrow some of mine.
152
00:05:52,325 --> 00:05:53,492
(Chuckles)
153
00:05:53,593 --> 00:05:55,361
Dude, I swear you know less about babies
154
00:05:55,461 --> 00:05:56,661
than those two.
155
00:05:58,265 --> 00:05:59,964
- Mom?
- Yeah, Sweetie?
156
00:06:09,909 --> 00:06:12,977
Is it just me, or does Emma
look a little different?
157
00:06:13,078 --> 00:06:14,145
What is going on?
158
00:06:14,246 --> 00:06:15,679
Why do you look like that?
159
00:06:15,781 --> 00:06:17,015
Well, today we learned
160
00:06:17,116 --> 00:06:19,550
that a picnic with Emma is no picnic.
161
00:06:19,651 --> 00:06:20,718
What's the emergency?
162
00:06:22,987 --> 00:06:24,488
Oh my God. Is that Gerard?
163
00:06:24,589 --> 00:06:28,225
Danny, I explicitly asked
you not to set me up with him.
164
00:06:28,326 --> 00:06:30,127
You promised.
165
00:06:30,228 --> 00:06:32,229
Okay, I'll tell him you're not interested.
166
00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:34,231
But he wouldn't stop talking about you.
167
00:06:34,332 --> 00:06:36,199
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
168
00:06:36,301 --> 00:06:37,835
Well...
169
00:06:37,936 --> 00:06:39,803
You know, then it would
be rude not to say hi
170
00:06:39,904 --> 00:06:41,471
now that I'm here, then, right?
171
00:06:41,572 --> 00:06:43,139
You two ladies wanna tamp it down?
172
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,875
- (Imitates teenage girl)
- Please, don't call my mom.
173
00:06:45,976 --> 00:06:47,777
She will totally freak out.
174
00:06:47,878 --> 00:06:50,146
And if she grounds me, I'm gonna miss Prom.
175
00:06:50,247 --> 00:06:52,348
And I think that David and I might
176
00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:56,085
actually... do it.
177
00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:58,287
Shut up.
178
00:06:58,388 --> 00:07:00,556
- You shut up.
- The two of you shut up.
179
00:07:02,892 --> 00:07:04,893
You two should take this act on the road.
180
00:07:04,994 --> 00:07:07,696
Oh, but you can't,
because where I come from,
181
00:07:07,797 --> 00:07:10,499
using an innocent little
baby to steal a diamond watch
182
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,401
is what we like to call a felony.
183
00:07:13,503 --> 00:07:14,703
Where did that come from?
184
00:07:14,804 --> 00:07:15,771
We didn't put that in there.
185
00:07:15,872 --> 00:07:17,840
Tell it to your parole officer, Sister.
186
00:07:17,941 --> 00:07:21,042
Mom, why am I standing
here holding a black baby?
187
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,679
Um, okay.
188
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:27,548
You know, actually, Ben,
that is a very good question.
189
00:07:27,649 --> 00:07:29,884
Are you sure that she's
not in there somewhere?
190
00:07:29,986 --> 00:07:31,286
Mom! Where's Emma?
191
00:07:31,387 --> 00:07:34,022
Well, obviously she's with Marcus.
192
00:07:34,123 --> 00:07:37,258
Who should have no trouble
getting her to sleep.
193
00:07:39,962 --> 00:07:42,363
We must have accidentally
switched the strollers.
194
00:07:42,464 --> 00:07:43,964
I mean, it could happen to anyone.
195
00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:45,765
I want my baby back. You call him.
196
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,868
Right right. I have his number
197
00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:49,136
in my phone.
198
00:07:49,237 --> 00:07:52,106
Oh... see how smart you are?
199
00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:54,041
Okay, uh, it's ringing.
200
00:07:54,142 --> 00:07:55,775
(Cellphone rings)
201
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,680
Hello?
202
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:02,915
Marcus?
203
00:08:03,017 --> 00:08:04,017
No, it's not Marcus.
204
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,321
Oh my God, Ben forgot his phone.
205
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,558
So... so here's what we're gonna do.
206
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,826
I'll call down to the bar
207
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,161
and tell him that it's here
208
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,329
and he'll come rushing back up.
209
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,696
The minute he walks through the door,
210
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:19,998
we'll put Emma down and voila!
211
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:21,566
First steps taken.
212
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,001
Thank me very much.
213
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:25,837
Oh my God, Riley!
214
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:27,472
Oh, thank you. Thought I lost my phone.
215
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,907
- All right, see you guys.
- Wait!
216
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:29,941
Wait, um,
217
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,343
hey, Ben.
218
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,810
Don't you want to say hi
219
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,179
to your little girl?
220
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,281
Uh, okay.
221
00:08:37,816 --> 00:08:38,815
Hi, Baby.
222
00:08:40,652 --> 00:08:41,818
Can I go now?
223
00:08:43,988 --> 00:08:45,956
- (Groans)
- I told you!
224
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,558
She had a limited number.
225
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:54,754
So you know what all this walking means?
226
00:08:54,855 --> 00:08:56,555
Bootie shopping spree.
227
00:08:56,656 --> 00:08:57,523
(Mouths)
228
00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,091
And speaking of Booty,
229
00:08:59,192 --> 00:09:01,960
I'm gonna need some help
from this little cutie.
230
00:09:02,061 --> 00:09:03,095
(Chuckles)
231
00:09:03,196 --> 00:09:04,497
We've got a play date at the park
232
00:09:04,598 --> 00:09:05,764
with a hot single mom.
233
00:09:05,865 --> 00:09:08,634
Well, put a bonnet on a puppy.
234
00:09:08,735 --> 00:09:10,603
Because there is no way that Emma
235
00:09:10,703 --> 00:09:11,970
is leaving this apartment
236
00:09:12,071 --> 00:09:14,272
until Ben sees her walk.
237
00:09:14,373 --> 00:09:17,242
But this baby is a babe magnet.
238
00:09:17,343 --> 00:09:19,244
And it's not like you all haven't done
239
00:09:19,345 --> 00:09:21,279
the exact same thing.
240
00:09:22,814 --> 00:09:24,482
(Rock music playing)
241
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:46,736
The point is,
242
00:09:46,738 --> 00:09:48,605
I've only got one girl
in my life right now.
243
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,375
So please, just make
sure she stays as perfect
244
00:09:51,476 --> 00:09:52,576
and healthy as she seems.
245
00:09:52,677 --> 00:09:53,777
Mm.
246
00:09:53,778 --> 00:09:55,746
Well, she's already got
one thing going for her.
247
00:09:56,147 --> 00:09:57,180
She's got you.
248
00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:03,219
Uh, what's this?
249
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,488
My phone number.
250
00:10:04,789 --> 00:10:05,889
Give me a call sometime,
251
00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:07,490
very single Ben.
252
00:10:07,591 --> 00:10:09,192
The doctor will be right in.
253
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,299
Oh, yes!
254
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,634
I just got hit on by a hot baby nurse.
255
00:10:18,735 --> 00:10:20,303
(Chuckles)
256
00:10:20,404 --> 00:10:21,770
We make a good team.
257
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,072
Yes, we do.
258
00:10:23,173 --> 00:10:25,341
Now shove these down your pants.
259
00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:26,709
Oh, no no no, Honey.
260
00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:28,377
I know you like Daddy's phone,
261
00:10:28,478 --> 00:10:29,845
but the last time you baby-dialed someone,
262
00:10:29,946 --> 00:10:30,980
- the police showed up.
- (Chuckles)
263
00:10:32,649 --> 00:10:34,650
Look, you almost called Ava.
264
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:42,991
You almost called Ava.
265
00:10:43,093 --> 00:10:45,427
Tucker?!
266
00:10:45,528 --> 00:10:48,230
Tuck?
267
00:10:48,331 --> 00:10:49,431
Okay, here's Daddy's phone.
268
00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:51,066
Okay.
269
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,567
If you just hit right here, okay?
270
00:10:52,668 --> 00:10:54,236
Right...
271
00:10:54,337 --> 00:10:56,238
Hold on, right here.
272
00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:57,840
If you just... okay.
273
00:10:57,941 --> 00:10:59,708
Right here. No, Emma.
274
00:10:59,808 --> 00:11:01,343
Focus, okay?
275
00:11:01,444 --> 00:11:03,311
Just... just right there.
276
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,646
(Cellphone beeps)
277
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,880
Yes!
278
00:11:05,981 --> 00:11:08,816
(Line ringing)
279
00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:10,452
- (Beeps)
- Ava: Hello?
280
00:11:10,553 --> 00:11:11,620
(Mouths)
281
00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:13,688
Ava: Ben? Is anybody there?
282
00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:16,291
Hello?
283
00:11:16,392 --> 00:11:18,860
(Phone beeps)
284
00:11:18,961 --> 00:11:21,329
Oh, please please please
please please please please.
285
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,464
(Cellphone vibrates)
286
00:11:23,565 --> 00:11:24,899
Ben: It seems we have a call.
287
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,634
(Chuckles)
288
00:11:27,736 --> 00:11:28,903
Hello?
289
00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,671
Ava?
290
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,140
(Giggles)
291
00:11:32,241 --> 00:11:34,041
Oh, yeah. It's so nice of you to call.
292
00:11:35,144 --> 00:11:36,377
You up for a little challenge?
293
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:37,478
I'm listening.
294
00:11:37,579 --> 00:11:38,746
We each take a block.
295
00:11:38,847 --> 00:11:40,047
Whoever lands the most numbers
296
00:11:40,149 --> 00:11:41,915
gets the stroller the
whole rest of the day.
297
00:11:42,016 --> 00:11:43,650
Game on. But I gotta warn you.
298
00:11:43,751 --> 00:11:45,152
Tucker's in the zone.
299
00:11:45,253 --> 00:11:47,353
Thanks for the heads up, Frunkle.
300
00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:48,989
I'll take this block.
301
00:11:49,090 --> 00:11:50,456
Wait wait wait wait.
You get the Yogurt Shop
302
00:11:50,557 --> 00:11:51,524
and the Nail Salon?
303
00:11:51,625 --> 00:11:55,128
Whoo! Is it ever hot out today.
304
00:11:55,229 --> 00:11:56,629
Hey, hey...
305
00:11:56,730 --> 00:11:58,331
That is not fair.
306
00:11:58,432 --> 00:11:59,666
Hey!
307
00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,267
I want to renegotiate.
308
00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:03,002
Okay, Emma.
309
00:12:03,103 --> 00:12:04,804
Are you ready to be Grandma's wing-baby?
310
00:12:04,905 --> 00:12:07,339
I have decided that today is the day
311
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,474
I'm finally gonna talk to the hottest guy
312
00:12:09,575 --> 00:12:12,044
this side... Hello!
313
00:12:12,145 --> 00:12:14,113
There he is.
314
00:12:14,214 --> 00:12:15,480
Now remember,
315
00:12:15,581 --> 00:12:17,249
I get the one who's potty-trained.
316
00:12:20,519 --> 00:12:22,320
Did you see that look?
317
00:12:22,421 --> 00:12:23,654
Oh!
318
00:12:23,755 --> 00:12:26,291
Why did I only shave up
to my knees this morning?
319
00:12:27,827 --> 00:12:29,260
Now watch and learn, Emma.
320
00:12:29,361 --> 00:12:31,629
First impressions are everything.
321
00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:34,098
Excuse me, is this seat available?
322
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,233
Sure is.
323
00:12:39,437 --> 00:12:42,206
Just like the woman sitting across from it.
324
00:12:42,307 --> 00:12:43,540
Here here here. Just hold her.
325
00:12:43,641 --> 00:12:46,009
10 seconds and I'll give
you back the earring.
326
00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:49,112
Come on. Come on.
327
00:12:49,214 --> 00:12:51,781
There you go.
328
00:12:51,883 --> 00:12:53,083
Yeah.
329
00:12:53,184 --> 00:12:54,318
Aww.
330
00:12:54,418 --> 00:12:55,652
She's awfully cute.
331
00:12:55,753 --> 00:12:57,187
- (Spits)
- (Shrieks)
332
00:12:57,288 --> 00:12:59,322
(Gasps, groans)
333
00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:00,656
Ugh!
334
00:13:00,757 --> 00:13:02,058
Here.
335
00:13:02,159 --> 00:13:04,426
Your baby's broken.
336
00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:08,097
Because right next to that is
a Korean foot massage place.
337
00:13:08,198 --> 00:13:10,599
Oh my God. I love a good foot massage.
338
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,601
Oh, well then you should go there.
339
00:13:12,702 --> 00:13:14,670
Or... oh look, I have hands.
340
00:13:14,771 --> 00:13:16,672
(Both laugh)
341
00:13:16,773 --> 00:13:18,807
How could somebody so funny and sweet
342
00:13:18,908 --> 00:13:21,610
end up with a roommate
that's such a wack-a-doodle?
343
00:13:21,711 --> 00:13:23,278
(Chuckles)
344
00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:24,413
Hey, let's be honest.
345
00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:26,348
If I didn't take him in, then who would?
346
00:13:26,349 --> 00:13:27,416
(Chuckles)
347
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:29,050
Well, you and your hands stay put.
348
00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:30,753
I'm just gonna go check on Justin.
349
00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:32,120
We will be right here.
350
00:13:32,221 --> 00:13:33,555
(Chuckles)
351
00:13:48,103 --> 00:13:49,370
(Bleats)
352
00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:56,210
What are you doing?
353
00:13:57,745 --> 00:13:58,678
Nothing.
354
00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:00,480
Tucker?
355
00:14:00,581 --> 00:14:01,915
Um...
356
00:14:07,288 --> 00:14:08,955
(Bleats)
357
00:14:10,425 --> 00:14:14,060
Seriously, world's best wing-baby.
358
00:14:14,161 --> 00:14:15,662
Wait, what are we gonna do
359
00:14:15,763 --> 00:14:17,397
when she actually learns how to say no?
360
00:14:17,498 --> 00:14:20,332
Like every other woman in your life?
361
00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:22,134
Oh, yeah!
362
00:14:22,235 --> 00:14:23,602
(Chuckles)
363
00:14:23,703 --> 00:14:25,805
Besides, she's a Wheeler.
364
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,306
She can be bought.
365
00:14:27,407 --> 00:14:30,108
At least that's what your personal ad says.
366
00:14:31,311 --> 00:14:32,411
Fine.
367
00:14:32,512 --> 00:14:34,980
Fine, I will just get
a high five from Emma.
368
00:14:35,081 --> 00:14:36,515
Emma? Where's Emma?
369
00:14:36,616 --> 00:14:38,182
(Door closes)
370
00:14:38,283 --> 00:14:39,250
Riley: Oh my God.
371
00:14:39,351 --> 00:14:40,919
- Oh my God.
- No no no no!
372
00:14:41,019 --> 00:14:42,854
(All muttering)
373
00:14:42,955 --> 00:14:44,288
All: Emma? Emma?
374
00:14:45,796 --> 00:14:48,430
I remember the first time Ben
locked himself in the bathroom.
375
00:14:48,431 --> 00:14:51,533
Of course it was for a
very different reason.
376
00:14:52,568 --> 00:14:54,469
It just makes me realize
all these milestones
377
00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:56,405
are going by so fast.
378
00:14:56,505 --> 00:14:58,173
- Huh?
- (Coos)
379
00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:00,675
What do you think, Emma?
380
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:02,877
This is what we call a party.
381
00:15:02,978 --> 00:15:04,646
Someday, you'll grow up
382
00:15:04,747 --> 00:15:07,415
and trash Daddy's place, and the
circle of life will be complete.
383
00:15:09,151 --> 00:15:11,486
I'm actually getting kind of
teary-eyed just thinking about it.
384
00:15:11,587 --> 00:15:14,188
I need you to focus. This is
a critical birthday decision.
385
00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,890
Traditional?
386
00:15:17,426 --> 00:15:18,460
Tiara?
387
00:15:18,561 --> 00:15:20,328
All: Aww.
388
00:15:20,429 --> 00:15:21,562
Ben: Oh, no.
389
00:15:21,663 --> 00:15:23,897
Or my personal favorite,
390
00:15:23,998 --> 00:15:25,398
viking warrior Princess.
391
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,701
All: Warrior Princess.
392
00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:30,737
Oh, and also, can we please vote
393
00:15:30,839 --> 00:15:32,272
on whether or not we're getting a pony?
394
00:15:32,373 --> 00:15:34,808
I still think we can
fit one in the elevator.
395
00:15:34,909 --> 00:15:37,377
Well, I measured.
396
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,046
And we can totally fit
a pony in that elevator.
397
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,181
Yes!
398
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:44,184
I don't know which one you are,
399
00:15:44,285 --> 00:15:47,020
but you're definitely the
cutest reindeer of them all.
400
00:15:47,121 --> 00:15:48,955
When did I become one of those parents?
401
00:15:50,624 --> 00:15:53,493
Probably two seconds after I
saw you in those little antlers.
402
00:15:53,594 --> 00:15:57,063
I can't believe we have been
waiting almost three hours.
403
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:59,132
At this rate, they should
just pass out Easter Eggs
404
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:00,467
and call it a twofer.
405
00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:02,801
I'm sorry, but who knew
406
00:16:02,902 --> 00:16:04,203
so many people would want to see Santa
407
00:16:04,304 --> 00:16:05,704
two days before Christmas?
408
00:16:05,805 --> 00:16:07,706
Everyone.
409
00:16:07,807 --> 00:16:09,774
Yeah, well, I just wish
I didn't wait until now
410
00:16:09,876 --> 00:16:10,876
to get Emma's present.
411
00:16:10,977 --> 00:16:13,912
Who knew they'd already be sold out?
412
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,448
Again, I'm gonna go with everyone.
413
00:16:16,549 --> 00:16:18,050
Now what am I gonna do?
414
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:19,751
I have to get Emma that Giggorilla.
415
00:16:19,752 --> 00:16:21,119
She loves that laughing ape.
416
00:16:21,220 --> 00:16:22,721
She told me so with her smile.
417
00:16:22,822 --> 00:16:24,188
Well, you do know there's a good chance
418
00:16:24,289 --> 00:16:25,957
that smile was just gas, right?
419
00:16:26,959 --> 00:16:28,259
You're next.
420
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,729
If anyone feels the need to spit up,
421
00:16:30,830 --> 00:16:32,397
tear up, or hiccup,
422
00:16:32,498 --> 00:16:34,499
I'd appreciate a heads-up.
423
00:16:36,168 --> 00:16:38,069
Well, I'd appreciate a "hurry up."
424
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:41,539
Because I got a turkey I need to pick up.
425
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,607
Well, here's how it's gonna go down.
426
00:16:43,708 --> 00:16:44,942
He "Ho-Ho" 's,
427
00:16:45,043 --> 00:16:46,176
you tell him what you want,
428
00:16:46,277 --> 00:16:47,411
we snap a picture,
429
00:16:47,512 --> 00:16:49,413
and then if you'd like
to make another memory,
430
00:16:49,514 --> 00:16:52,282
meet me in 20 minutes
in the Gingerbread House.
431
00:16:56,888 --> 00:16:58,922
I might have to fold you in half,
432
00:16:59,023 --> 00:17:01,223
but I think I can get it done.
433
00:17:02,826 --> 00:17:05,161
Best offer I've had all week.
434
00:17:05,262 --> 00:17:07,830
Okay, folks. Let's do this.
435
00:17:07,932 --> 00:17:10,499
So, I'd like to call on
Emma's two amazing godfathers.
436
00:17:10,601 --> 00:17:11,768
- Ready to go, dude.
- We're on it.
437
00:17:11,869 --> 00:17:13,202
Her one incredible godmother.
438
00:17:13,303 --> 00:17:14,270
That's me.
439
00:17:14,371 --> 00:17:16,973
Her two one-of-a-kind
grandparents.
440
00:17:17,074 --> 00:17:18,974
- Oh, we love you.
- Yes, we do.
441
00:17:19,075 --> 00:17:20,642
We love you.
442
00:17:20,743 --> 00:17:23,511
And hopefully a new step-granddad.
443
00:17:23,613 --> 00:17:25,480
Hey, baby girl.
444
00:17:25,582 --> 00:17:28,450
So, we're gathered here to make a promise.
445
00:17:28,551 --> 00:17:30,385
That we will always watch over her,
446
00:17:30,486 --> 00:17:32,187
and make sure that she's always loved
447
00:17:32,288 --> 00:17:34,056
and happy and protected.
448
00:17:34,156 --> 00:17:36,058
And that she knows that she's
never alone in this world.
449
00:17:37,426 --> 00:17:39,393
We may be loud and crazy
450
00:17:39,494 --> 00:17:42,529
and anything but a typical,
normal American family,
451
00:17:42,631 --> 00:17:45,499
but we will always be there for you.
452
00:17:45,601 --> 00:17:46,634
Danny?
453
00:17:48,303 --> 00:17:49,269
Here we go.
454
00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:50,270
Here you go.
455
00:17:50,371 --> 00:17:52,372
Here we go, Emma.
456
00:17:52,474 --> 00:17:53,708
Ohh.
457
00:17:53,809 --> 00:17:54,942
All: Ohh!
458
00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:56,677
Okay, Emma.
459
00:17:56,778 --> 00:17:58,979
And just remember,
whenever you need a moral
460
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,380
or spiritual guide...
461
00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:01,582
You just come to me.
462
00:18:01,682 --> 00:18:02,916
- What?
- No, she would come to me.
463
00:18:03,017 --> 00:18:04,585
- I'm her grandmother.
- No no.
464
00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:06,686
(Overlapping arguing)
465
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:12,058
We love you, Emma.
466
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,560
- Go!
- All right, here we go.
467
00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:16,329
Hakuna Matata! "The Lion King."
468
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:17,463
Yes!
469
00:18:21,335 --> 00:18:22,901
"Nobody puts Baby in the corner".
470
00:18:23,003 --> 00:18:24,970
- "Dirty Dancing."
- Yes!
471
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,540
- Uh...
- (Growling)
472
00:18:27,641 --> 00:18:29,041
- (In Australian accent)
- "A dingo ate my baby!"
473
00:18:29,143 --> 00:18:30,075
"A Cry in the Dark."
474
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:31,477
Yes! Five seconds!
475
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:32,578
Five seconds!
476
00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:35,713
"Hasta la vista, Baby."
477
00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:37,215
"Terminator 2."
478
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,750
- Yes!
- What?!
479
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,652
That is time!
480
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,187
(Cries)
481
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,188
Come on, you have to eat.
482
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,190
I'm begging you.
483
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,658
Come on.
484
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,800
(Emma coos)
485
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,337
(Giggles)
486
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,708
What?
487
00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:07,311
You like that?
488
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:09,513
Look what Daddy can do.
489
00:19:09,614 --> 00:19:10,847
Huh?
490
00:19:10,948 --> 00:19:12,849
I do this at work every day.
491
00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:14,185
Huh?
492
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:15,386
You want some now?
493
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,720
You want some?
494
00:19:16,821 --> 00:19:18,222
Here it comes.
495
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,657
Here it comes, Baby.
496
00:19:21,826 --> 00:19:23,160
(Chuckles)
497
00:19:23,261 --> 00:19:25,396
Oh my God, you're eating.
498
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,897
Thank you so much.
499
00:19:27,998 --> 00:19:29,832
Okay people, let's do this.
500
00:19:29,933 --> 00:19:32,101
- Hi, Sweetie.
- Where's the cake?
501
00:19:35,105 --> 00:19:36,138
Oh.
502
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,139
Was this for Emma?
503
00:19:37,241 --> 00:19:38,808
Well, Baby,
504
00:19:38,909 --> 00:19:41,143
maybe this isn't what you signed up for,
505
00:19:41,245 --> 00:19:42,645
but you're stuck with us.
506
00:19:44,081 --> 00:19:46,449
All: Happy Birthday, Emma.
507
00:19:48,618 --> 00:19:50,319
It's him. Everybody act natural.
508
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:51,921
Okay, um...
509
00:19:52,022 --> 00:19:52,955
(All stammering)
510
00:19:53,056 --> 00:19:54,389
Move it, move it, move it.
511
00:19:55,892 --> 00:19:57,727
Oh, hey.
512
00:19:57,828 --> 00:19:58,761
You guys are still here.
513
00:19:58,862 --> 00:20:00,229
Way to be productive.
514
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:01,563
Hey, Ben.
515
00:20:01,664 --> 00:20:03,733
I'm just making coffee.
516
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:05,901
And I'm cooking a meal.
517
00:20:06,002 --> 00:20:08,436
And I'm... leaning.
518
00:20:08,537 --> 00:20:10,739
And I'm carting your baby around
519
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,406
because she doesn't know how to walk yet.
520
00:20:12,507 --> 00:20:14,743
Oh, good. So I didn't miss anything?
521
00:20:14,844 --> 00:20:16,410
Hey, Emma.
522
00:20:16,511 --> 00:20:18,346
Don't you want to walk for Daddy?
523
00:20:20,249 --> 00:20:22,050
Oh my God, Emma.
524
00:20:22,151 --> 00:20:24,119
Did you guys just see that? Emma walked!
525
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,486
- That's amazing.
- Really?
526
00:20:26,587 --> 00:20:28,889
I can't believe my little
girl's all grown up.
527
00:20:30,524 --> 00:20:31,792
I know these are your first steps,
528
00:20:31,893 --> 00:20:33,526
and they're gonna take you
out there in this world,
529
00:20:33,628 --> 00:20:35,695
but just remember,
530
00:20:35,797 --> 00:20:37,364
no matter where you go,
531
00:20:37,465 --> 00:20:39,332
Daddy's always gonna be right here.
532
00:20:47,836 --> 00:20:48,870
- (Pop music playing)
- ♪ Her name's Emma... ♪
533
00:20:48,871 --> 00:20:52,439
♪ Oh, I am head over heels
there's one dilemma ♪
534
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,307
♪ she doesn't know how I feel ♪
535
00:20:54,408 --> 00:20:56,776
♪ I put her picture on my wall-ah-all ♪
536
00:20:56,877 --> 00:20:58,645
♪ oh, she's my baby ♪
537
00:20:58,746 --> 00:21:00,980
♪ she's my da-da-dol ♪
538
00:21:01,081 --> 00:21:02,949
♪ her name's Emma ♪
539
00:21:03,050 --> 00:21:04,684
♪ oh, and she acts like a star ♪
540
00:21:04,785 --> 00:21:06,352
♪ June or December ♪
541
00:21:06,453 --> 00:21:07,919
♪ I want to be where you are ♪
542
00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:11,557
♪ what can I do to make her fall? ♪
543
00:21:11,658 --> 00:21:14,393
♪ Tweeted my number, never call-alled ♪
544
00:21:14,494 --> 00:21:15,728
♪ Emma, Emma ♪
545
00:21:15,829 --> 00:21:17,563
♪ you're lonely no more. ♪
546
00:21:17,564 --> 00:21:18,964
- Synced and corrected by Retrojex -
- www.addic7ed.com -