1
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Previously on Californication...

2
00:00:02,149 --> 00:00:03,651
Rath is fucking my shit up.

3
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,809
He's all about the drama,
I'm all about the fucking fun.

4
00:00:05,929 --> 00:00:06,919
I'm not that funny.

5
00:00:07,039 --> 00:00:09,876
Yeah, but you's fucking witty,
and together we can...

6
00:00:10,253 --> 00:00:11,052
Damn.

7
00:00:11,590 --> 00:00:13,890
- Who's that piece ass?
- That? That would be Julia.

8
00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:16,482
Is it cool if I...pursue her?

9
00:00:16,602 --> 00:00:18,594
- You're not looking to rekindle?
- No, no, not at all.

10
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:19,251
Why not?

11
00:00:19,371 --> 00:00:20,410
- This is...
- It's a terrible idea.

12
00:00:20,443 --> 00:00:21,461
A terrible idea.

13
00:00:21,581 --> 00:00:23,610
I don't like the way Rath
is writing my character.

14
00:00:23,643 --> 00:00:26,914
You're--you're very pleasant,
uh, just very--very real.

15
00:00:26,947 --> 00:00:28,482
- [Gasps]
- Oh!

16
00:00:28,515 --> 00:00:30,305
[Clears throat]
I can do better.

17
00:00:30,338 --> 00:00:32,100
I want to sleep
with Marcy again,

18
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,590
with your permission
and hers, of course.

19
00:00:34,623 --> 00:00:38,996
I am willing to pay you guys
a cool $1 million

20
00:00:39,392 --> 00:00:41,746
if you will let me
sleep with her again.

21
00:00:41,971 --> 00:00:44,440
Think about it.

22
00:00:44,473 --> 00:00:45,879
We were wondering

23
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,528
if maybe he could audition
for a small part.

24
00:00:47,561 --> 00:00:48,944
Um, yeah, you can read

25
00:00:48,977 --> 00:00:50,486
- for something.
- Awesome.

26
00:00:50,519 --> 00:00:52,121
I want to talk
to you about Becca.

27
00:00:52,154 --> 00:00:54,026
I know.
That's why I'm ducking you.

28
00:00:54,059 --> 00:00:56,851
Well, when are you gonna
tell her about Levon?

29
00:00:56,892 --> 00:00:59,630
Just don't give up on me, okay?

30
00:00:59,663 --> 00:01:01,926
I'm still me.

31
00:01:01,959 --> 00:01:04,165
We're still us.

32
00:01:12,582 --> 00:01:15,555
[Upbeat music]

33
00:01:15,588 --> 00:01:23,588
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

34
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,487
I got it.

35
00:02:04,606 --> 00:02:06,676
I fucking got it.

36
00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,908
How about I just kiss the bitch?

37
00:02:08,941 --> 00:02:09,909
- What?
- No.

38
00:02:09,942 --> 00:02:10,908
What?
Wait. What did you say?

39
00:02:10,949 --> 00:02:13,713
What if I just grabbed her face,

40
00:02:13,746 --> 00:02:15,546
went in for a slow kiss,

41
00:02:15,579 --> 00:02:17,714
and just made out with her,
you know what I'm saying?

42
00:02:17,747 --> 00:02:19,427
Okay, guys,
I'm calling my fucking agent,

43
00:02:19,452 --> 00:02:20,524
- 'cause this is bullshit.
- Amy, hold on.

44
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:21,620
Wait.
How is this bullshit?

45
00:02:21,653 --> 00:02:23,092
Yo, let's be bold up
in this bitch.

46
00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:24,156
- Yeah, I--
- What does that even mean?

47
00:02:24,189 --> 00:02:25,695
I'm not really up on the rules

48
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,969
of television, per se,
but I think the idea is to--

49
00:02:29,002 --> 00:02:30,938
- is to milk the sexual tension...
- It is.

50
00:02:30,971 --> 00:02:33,044
For as long
as inhumanly possible.

51
00:02:33,077 --> 00:02:34,245
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

52
00:02:34,278 --> 00:02:36,675
Let's milk
the sexual tension, right?

53
00:02:36,716 --> 00:02:38,644
Fuck that.
Let's change that rule.

54
00:02:38,685 --> 00:02:39,981
I'd have to run that by Rath.

55
00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:41,318
Yo, where's
that motherfucker anyways?

56
00:02:41,351 --> 00:02:42,622
He's not even around.
He's never even here.

57
00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:44,558
He just sits up
in his ivory tower,

58
00:02:44,591 --> 00:02:46,158
pulling strings, just like,

59
00:02:46,191 --> 00:02:48,664
"Dance for me, motherfucker!
Dance! Yeah! Unh!"

60
00:02:48,697 --> 00:02:50,330
Tell him I am not his bojangles.

61
00:02:50,365 --> 00:02:52,174
He's got, like,
a zillion things to do,

62
00:02:52,207 --> 00:02:54,380
and he--he thinks the set
is a big time-waster,

63
00:02:54,413 --> 00:02:56,413
and I'm beginning
to see his point.

64
00:02:56,454 --> 00:02:57,917
- [Sighs]
- Let's not waste time, then.

65
00:02:57,950 --> 00:03:01,256
What if I kiss this bitch,
make her jealous,

66
00:03:01,289 --> 00:03:02,826
and they just start,
like, fighting.

67
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:03,963
Can you stop calling

68
00:03:03,996 --> 00:03:05,068
- us bitches, Hashtag?
- Yeah.

69
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,165
Oh, I'm sorry, ladies.

70
00:03:06,198 --> 00:03:07,732
Look, I'm--
look, I mean no harm.

71
00:03:07,773 --> 00:03:09,406
It's just, like--you know,
I got love for both of y'all,

72
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,839
but it's the way
I express myself.

73
00:03:10,872 --> 00:03:12,606
You got to let me be free
with my language.

74
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,680
That's what makes me
the Bruce Lee of comedy,

75
00:03:14,713 --> 00:03:15,746
you know what I'm saying?

76
00:03:15,787 --> 00:03:17,788
"Enter the fucking dragon,"
whoo!

77
00:03:17,821 --> 00:03:19,219
<i>Herr</i> Director,

78
00:03:19,252 --> 00:03:21,460
care to weigh in
with your expert opinion?

79
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,861
I mean, I think Hashtag has a point.

80
00:03:23,894 --> 00:03:26,367
Network television is
on its fucking deathbed.

81
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,231
Goethe said it best.

82
00:03:28,264 --> 00:03:33,011
Let's be bold, mighty forces
will come to our aid.

83
00:03:33,044 --> 00:03:35,244
- What do you think?
- Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

84
00:03:35,277 --> 00:03:37,182
I don't know who
this bitch "Berta" is,

85
00:03:37,215 --> 00:03:38,488
but I like the way she thinks.

86
00:03:38,521 --> 00:03:42,994
All right, so I think
you should talk to Rath.

87
00:03:43,027 --> 00:03:44,291
Half hour, you guys.

88
00:03:44,331 --> 00:03:47,070
Half hour, everybody.

89
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,367
You really think this
is a good idea?

90
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,735
I think it's a terrible idea.

91
00:03:49,768 --> 00:03:51,641
He's a fucking crazy person.

92
00:03:51,674 --> 00:03:53,074
He terrifies me, Hank,

93
00:03:53,114 --> 00:03:54,282
but I got to keep him
on my side,

94
00:03:54,315 --> 00:03:55,946
or it's gonna be
a long fucking season.

95
00:03:55,979 --> 00:03:57,547
You're fucking useless,
you know that?

96
00:03:57,580 --> 00:03:58,851
Am I?
Am I useless?

97
00:03:58,884 --> 00:04:02,051
Or am I, like,
a strategic thinker?

98
00:04:02,092 --> 00:04:03,123
Useless.

99
00:04:03,156 --> 00:04:04,755
Just go talk to Rath.

100
00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:07,124
He'll shout it down.
We'll do it as scripted.

101
00:04:07,165 --> 00:04:10,134
Sometimes you got to indulge
the children.

102
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,631
- Hey.
- Hey.

103
00:04:11,671 --> 00:04:14,031
You're not gonna make me kiss
that fucking lunatic, are you?

104
00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:17,012
- Not if I can help it.
- Thank God...

105
00:04:17,045 --> 00:04:19,317
'cause I can think of somebody
else I'd much rather be kissing.

106
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:21,519
- The director?
- [Laughs]

107
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,087
God. [Gasps]
Did I tell you?

108
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,119
He texted me a picture
of his penis.

109
00:04:25,159 --> 00:04:27,127
Oh.
How'd you respond?

110
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,294
I texted back, saying,
"Where's the rest of it?"

111
00:04:29,327 --> 00:04:30,430
- Ah!
- [Laughs]

112
00:04:30,463 --> 00:04:31,797
He hasn't give me a note since.

113
00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:34,563
Amy Taylor Walsh,
kicking ass and taking names.

114
00:04:34,596 --> 00:04:36,099
That's right, motherfucker.

115
00:04:36,133 --> 00:04:38,405
- Yeah, motherfucker.
- [Laughs]

116
00:04:38,439 --> 00:04:40,134
- Speaking of notes...
- Yeah?

117
00:04:40,175 --> 00:04:42,807
Do you want to come
to my trailer and discuss.

118
00:04:42,841 --> 00:04:45,175
Yeah, I'm--I'm trying to be
a good boy, you know?

119
00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:46,646
I'm trying to keep
my head on straight.

120
00:04:46,679 --> 00:04:48,909
[Sighs] Why, Hank?
Where's the fun in that?

121
00:04:48,943 --> 00:04:50,951
No, it's not fun.
It's not fun at all.

122
00:04:50,984 --> 00:04:52,151
But I'm not a "funster"
right now.

123
00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:53,616
- [Laughs]
- I'm trying to be a producer.

124
00:04:53,657 --> 00:04:54,824
[Gasps] That's right.

125
00:04:54,857 --> 00:04:56,920
- You're a producer. Of course.
- Mm-hmm.

126
00:04:56,953 --> 00:04:57,992
Actually, I do need some help

127
00:04:58,025 --> 00:04:59,089
producing something
in my trailer.

128
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:00,561
- You stop!
- [Laughs]

129
00:05:00,594 --> 00:05:02,633
I've got to talk to Rath
before we shoot the scene,

130
00:05:02,666 --> 00:05:04,297
and I don't want a boner
while I'm doing that.

131
00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:06,033
Fine.
Come by afterwards.

132
00:05:06,066 --> 00:05:08,431
There's a few lines
that need sharpening.

133
00:05:08,464 --> 00:05:10,199
It's more than a few.

134
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,568
It's triage, Hank.

135
00:05:11,609 --> 00:05:13,376
We do what we can
in the time we have,

136
00:05:13,409 --> 00:05:15,006
and if we're lucky,

137
00:05:15,039 --> 00:05:18,079
we have some good old dirty fun
while we're at it.

138
00:05:18,112 --> 00:05:20,543
Gosh, you make it sound
so honorable.

139
00:05:20,576 --> 00:05:22,310
You know where to find me.

140
00:05:24,717 --> 00:05:28,219
- Not a good idea, my friend.
- What?

141
00:05:28,252 --> 00:05:29,913
That woman is
a fucking man-eater.

142
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,154
The stories are legendary.

143
00:05:31,187 --> 00:05:33,155
I am staying strong, like bull.

144
00:05:33,188 --> 00:05:34,387
Do better than that, okay?

145
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:35,756
You start fucking the actresses,

146
00:05:35,789 --> 00:05:37,459
the whole show is gonna
go down in flames.

147
00:05:37,492 --> 00:05:40,258
Trust me, I've been there,
a couple of times.

148
00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:41,867
I believe you.

149
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,500
- Fun memories, though.
- Okay.

150
00:05:44,533 --> 00:05:47,805
Back to earth, where Hashtag
wants me to rewrite the scene.

151
00:05:47,838 --> 00:05:48,942
Fuck that!

152
00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:51,045
That's what I said, in my head.

153
00:05:51,078 --> 00:05:52,309
You're producing
the episode, Hank.

154
00:05:52,342 --> 00:05:53,645
You make the call.

155
00:05:53,678 --> 00:05:55,381
If they want to do something
stupid, don't let them.

156
00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:56,878
You tell them no.
It's that simple.

157
00:05:56,919 --> 00:05:59,350
It sounds simple
when--when you say it.

158
00:05:59,383 --> 00:06:00,783
All right, let me ask
you something.

159
00:06:00,823 --> 00:06:02,119
What?

160
00:06:02,152 --> 00:06:04,192
How do I get back
in Julia's good graces?

161
00:06:04,225 --> 00:06:05,528
I don't know, man.

162
00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:06,992
I think maybe you just got
to let it go for a while.

163
00:06:07,025 --> 00:06:08,296
You know, wait until--

164
00:06:08,329 --> 00:06:11,036
wait until we wrap
or get canceled.

165
00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:13,268
I don't know
if I can do that, you know?

166
00:06:13,309 --> 00:06:15,076
- She haunts my dreams.
- Yeah.

167
00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:17,077
Has she said anything about me?

168
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,414
No, not really.

169
00:06:18,447 --> 00:06:20,750
You know, just...

170
00:06:20,783 --> 00:06:22,014
no.

171
00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:23,767
You're not sniffing
around there, are you?

172
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,751
I mean, I would understand
the temptation if you were.

173
00:06:26,792 --> 00:06:29,330
You have the kid in common.
You both have private parts.

174
00:06:29,363 --> 00:06:31,898
I would imagine shit
could go down pretty easily.

175
00:06:31,931 --> 00:06:34,404
- Fuck, I got to go.
- Really? What? Where?

176
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:37,101
What could be more fascinating
and important than this?

177
00:06:37,142 --> 00:06:39,037
I am sitting down
with Eddie Nero.

178
00:06:39,070 --> 00:06:41,375
The network's desperate
for some stunt casting.

179
00:06:41,408 --> 00:06:43,414
Well--well, give
that pansexual loon my best.

180
00:06:43,447 --> 00:06:44,550
I will.

181
00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:45,950
He took a man in his mouth,
you know.

182
00:06:45,983 --> 00:06:47,918
- Really?
- Yeah, it was research

183
00:06:47,951 --> 00:06:49,946
for a part.
He'll tell you all about it.

184
00:06:49,979 --> 00:06:52,951
He engineered that orgasm
with hands and feet.

185
00:06:52,984 --> 00:06:54,645
- Can't wait.
- Yeah.

186
00:06:54,678 --> 00:06:56,349
- Stay strong, Hank.
- [Groans]

187
00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:58,548
These are the times
that try a man's soul.

188
00:06:58,581 --> 00:07:00,588
Yeah.

189
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,651
Psst! Psst!

190
00:07:07,825 --> 00:07:10,727
[Sighs heavily]

191
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,893
- Ooh, ah.
- Hi.

192
00:07:12,926 --> 00:07:14,597
Let me guess, Rath, huh?

193
00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:15,756
Lovely.

194
00:07:15,797 --> 00:07:18,996
Gets my juices flowing.
How about yo--mm.

195
00:07:19,029 --> 00:07:21,435
Mm, well, I guess so.

196
00:07:21,468 --> 00:07:23,697
Hey, you're not just buttering
me up for notes, are you?

197
00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,096
- I do have one note.
- You do? What is it?

198
00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:26,464
- Shut up and fuck me.
- Wow!

199
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:28,999
You really have caught
the boning bug, haven't you?

200
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,532
Is there a problem with that?

201
00:07:30,565 --> 00:07:32,301
No, there's nothing wrong
with it at all. It's just--

202
00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:33,941
Do you have a problem
with single moms being sexual?

203
00:07:33,974 --> 00:07:35,404
I-I encourage single moms

204
00:07:35,436 --> 00:07:37,001
- to be highly sexual.
- Good. [Laughs]

205
00:07:37,042 --> 00:07:38,903
It's just that I wouldn't want
Levon to find out about it.

206
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:40,102
Forget about Levon.

207
00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:41,501
Yes, but I don't want
to get his hopes up.

208
00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:43,739
Oh, just stay
in the moment, okay?

209
00:07:43,772 --> 00:07:46,674
Oh, my--
oh, my God!

210
00:07:46,706 --> 00:07:49,673
[Moaning] Oh, my God!

211
00:07:49,706 --> 00:07:52,574
[Moaning]

212
00:07:52,607 --> 00:07:54,575
Oh, my God.

213
00:07:54,615 --> 00:07:57,278
Oh, my God.

214
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:58,517
Oh...
[Knock at door]

215
00:07:58,550 --> 00:08:00,213
Mom!
Is Hank in there?

216
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,253
[Sighs]

217
00:08:01,286 --> 00:08:03,390
Fucking cock-blocker
strikes again.

218
00:08:03,424 --> 00:08:06,556
Oh.

219
00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:08,251
Hey, buddy.

220
00:08:08,292 --> 00:08:09,988
- What's going on?
- What?

221
00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:11,156
What do you mean?

222
00:08:11,196 --> 00:08:12,858
- You guys been messing around?
- What?

223
00:08:12,891 --> 00:08:14,561
Why would you--why would you--
why would you ask that?

224
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:16,193
- [Laughs]
- Why would you think that?

225
00:08:16,226 --> 00:08:19,031
That is a weird fucking
question, dude, right?

226
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:21,367
- No, it's not.
- It's fucked up.

227
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,202
Yeah, well, the energy feels
all weird in here right now...

228
00:08:23,235 --> 00:08:24,706
- Does it?
- And your makeup's all screwy.

229
00:08:24,739 --> 00:08:26,876
- You look like a homeless hooker.
- Don't be silly, honey.

230
00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:28,710
I just have a few questions
about the scene.

231
00:08:28,743 --> 00:08:29,847
- Yeah.
- Really?

232
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,783
- Can I help you?
- I need to talk to you.

233
00:08:31,816 --> 00:08:33,816
Okay, well, let's talk.

234
00:08:33,857 --> 00:08:34,950
I think we're good?

235
00:08:34,983 --> 00:08:36,463
Yeah, I just need
to fix up my makeup.

236
00:08:36,484 --> 00:08:37,882
- Get out of here.
- But you got--you know--

237
00:08:37,915 --> 00:08:39,482
yeah, okay.
All right, and you?

238
00:08:39,523 --> 00:08:41,786
[Giggles] Come back.

239
00:08:43,093 --> 00:08:44,726
I'm about to do my audition.

240
00:08:44,759 --> 00:08:46,360
Can--can you be in the room
when I do it?

241
00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:47,901
Ah, I don't have time
for that shit

242
00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:49,795
- right now, kid--sorry.
- Please?

243
00:08:49,828 --> 00:08:52,362
The casting director hates me.
She thinks it's just a favor.

244
00:08:52,403 --> 00:08:54,833
- It is just a favor.
- Yeah, I know.

245
00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:57,033
But at least this way
you can tell Rath you saw me

246
00:08:57,074 --> 00:08:58,370
and I was fucking awesome.

247
00:08:58,403 --> 00:09:00,741
I'm worried
that she'll tell him I suck,

248
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,012
and he'll never see it.

249
00:09:02,045 --> 00:09:05,014
Five minutes--
that's all I ask.

250
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:19,090
Hey, Hank.
Um, Hashtag's looking for you.

251
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,227
Fuck, where is he?

252
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,595
Around here somewhere.
I don't--

253
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,395
All right, well, just tell him
I'm on set, all right?

254
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,037
- Wait. That's a lie.
- So what?

255
00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:27,745
It's not the fucking boy scouts.

256
00:09:32,917 --> 00:09:34,484
You don't need
to sit in on this, Hank.

257
00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:37,956
Yet, here I am.
Let's get this party started.

258
00:09:37,989 --> 00:09:40,228
- Ready, Levon?
- [Sighs] Sure.

259
00:09:40,261 --> 00:09:42,430
Should--should I sit or stand?

260
00:09:42,463 --> 00:09:44,931
Totally up to you, hon.

261
00:09:44,964 --> 00:09:46,864
Relax, kid.
You're sweating like a pig.

262
00:09:46,897 --> 00:09:48,098
I know. I know.

263
00:09:48,131 --> 00:09:50,301
I'm really fucking nervous.
I'm sorry.

264
00:09:50,334 --> 00:09:52,273
[Exhales sharply]

265
00:09:52,306 --> 00:09:55,409
No, no, I don't know if that's
gonna help with the sweating.

266
00:09:55,442 --> 00:09:58,283
- Just--
- [Exhales sharply]

267
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:02,088
- Oh, my God! Okay.
- You all right?

268
00:10:02,128 --> 00:10:03,393
- Man down.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

269
00:10:03,426 --> 00:10:04,763
I am so sorry.

270
00:10:04,797 --> 00:10:06,837
You know what? No problem.
Don't worry about it.

271
00:10:06,870 --> 00:10:08,702
You all right?

272
00:10:08,735 --> 00:10:11,038
Thank you.
Okay, it's just--

273
00:10:11,071 --> 00:10:13,143
- Levon, leave it.
- Great.

274
00:10:13,176 --> 00:10:14,909
- Sorry.
- No, not to worry.

275
00:10:14,942 --> 00:10:16,478
Have a seat.

276
00:10:16,511 --> 00:10:18,749
Okay.

277
00:10:18,783 --> 00:10:21,582
Slate for the camera.

278
00:10:23,455 --> 00:10:26,156
Hello.
I'm Levon Moody...

279
00:10:26,189 --> 00:10:28,156
Hey-o.

280
00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:30,463
Rep--represented
by Charles Runkle,

281
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,063
the Runkle Agency.

282
00:10:32,096 --> 00:10:34,895
I'm reading for the part
of the kid.

283
00:10:34,936 --> 00:10:36,368
And I'm okay with nudity.

284
00:10:36,401 --> 00:10:38,800
No nudity required.

285
00:10:38,841 --> 00:10:40,812
I know. I'm just letting
you know I-I'm okay with it.

286
00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:42,812
I'm pretty happy
with my body right now.

287
00:10:42,845 --> 00:10:45,377
Great.
Okay, you ready?

288
00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:47,218
Yes.
Yes, I am.

289
00:10:47,251 --> 00:10:49,683
Yo, is your father home?

290
00:10:53,449 --> 00:10:54,689
[Mouths words]

291
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,259
Oh...

292
00:10:57,292 --> 00:10:59,728
Who--who wants to know?

293
00:10:59,761 --> 00:11:00,791
Danko Jones is who.

294
00:11:00,824 --> 00:11:02,895
Get your old man out here, kid.

295
00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:08,198
[Farts]

296
00:11:08,231 --> 00:11:10,534
[Imitates farting] Excuse me.

297
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:11,935
I'm sorry.

298
00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:13,872
I am so sorry.
I-I mean, excuse me.

299
00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:15,775
I-I have a really nervous tummy
right now.

300
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:18,206
- Can--can I do that again?
- [Imitates farting, laughs]

301
00:11:18,239 --> 00:11:19,846
You know what?
I think we got it.

302
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,582
[Knock at door, door opens]

303
00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:23,648
Sorry.
Uh, he didn't believe me, Hank.

304
00:11:23,681 --> 00:11:26,123
- He's coming up the stairs.
- Fuck!

305
00:11:26,156 --> 00:11:27,556
- That was great, kid.
- It stinks in here.

306
00:11:27,589 --> 00:11:29,027
It would have been better

307
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:32,533
without that one-cheek sneak,
but right up until then, aces.

308
00:11:34,030 --> 00:11:35,597
- Hey. Sorry.
- Oh, hey, Hank.

309
00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:37,036
No, you do not have
to apologize.

310
00:11:37,069 --> 00:11:38,838
I'm just--
I got to wait for Hashtag.

311
00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:40,343
- He's just, you know--
- Oh, sit down. Stay.

312
00:11:40,376 --> 00:11:41,810
You want a water?

313
00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:43,482
Sure. I'm--I'm a little parched.

314
00:11:43,515 --> 00:11:45,313
- Oh, good.
- Yeah.

315
00:11:45,346 --> 00:11:47,346
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

316
00:11:49,421 --> 00:11:51,293
- Oh, look at you.
- [Laughs]

317
00:11:51,326 --> 00:11:53,294
You kind of feel it, don't you?

318
00:11:53,327 --> 00:11:54,831
Mm, mm-hmm.

319
00:11:54,864 --> 00:11:56,128
What?

320
00:11:56,168 --> 00:11:57,448
You know, like,
the us of it all.

321
00:11:57,465 --> 00:11:59,105
- Oh, that!
Both: Yeah.

322
00:11:59,138 --> 00:12:00,137
So much tension.

323
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,041
- Right, right.
- You know, just--

324
00:12:02,074 --> 00:12:03,442
ever since you started
working here...

325
00:12:03,476 --> 00:12:04,708
- Mm-hmm.
- This job has just gotten

326
00:12:04,748 --> 00:12:06,212
to be so much more fun,
you know,

327
00:12:06,245 --> 00:12:07,611
like, exponentially more fun.

328
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,579
Well, you know,
I-I try to be additive.

329
00:12:09,612 --> 00:12:11,451
Yeah. Yeah, it's just nice

330
00:12:11,484 --> 00:12:13,450
to have some real male energy
around here.

331
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,785
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- You know, Rath--he's cool.

332
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:15,920
He's great and all,

333
00:12:15,953 --> 00:12:17,784
but, you know,
he's just so closed off.

334
00:12:17,825 --> 00:12:19,992
Yeah, I do find him
emotionally unavailable.

335
00:12:20,025 --> 00:12:21,559
- Oh, totally.
- Mm, yeah.

336
00:12:21,592 --> 00:12:23,295
And you don't know what
it's like to sit next to Hugh.

337
00:12:23,328 --> 00:12:24,358
- Oh, I do.
- He's just--

338
00:12:24,391 --> 00:12:25,756
Yeah, it's excruciating.

339
00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:28,723
Yeah, so I just want you
to know that I am into it...

340
00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:29,795
- All right.
- If you are.

341
00:12:29,828 --> 00:12:30,899
Well, into what exactly?

342
00:12:30,932 --> 00:12:32,164
You know, like
an interoffice romance...

343
00:12:32,197 --> 00:12:33,469
- Oh, okay, you know what?
- You know, some kind

344
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:34,638
- of a thing like--you know?
- [Laughs]

345
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,303
- Oh.
- Yeah, you know what, jade?

346
00:12:36,336 --> 00:12:37,905
- Oh.
- I got an idea.

347
00:12:37,946 --> 00:12:39,409
Let's not,
and pleasure ourselves

348
00:12:39,442 --> 00:12:40,678
to the thought that we did.

349
00:12:40,712 --> 00:12:42,005
Oh, a little naughty.

350
00:12:42,046 --> 00:12:44,141
Yes, I took
the sexual harassment seminar.

351
00:12:44,182 --> 00:12:46,381
- Or I bribed Hugh to take it...
- Uh-huh.

352
00:12:46,414 --> 00:12:48,014
With a sprinkles gift card,
you know?

353
00:12:48,047 --> 00:12:49,317
And I just don't think

354
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:51,918
that my handsome ten inches
is worth the trouble.

355
00:12:51,951 --> 00:12:53,086
You know what they say--

356
00:12:53,119 --> 00:12:54,560
a moment on the lips,
a lifetime on the hips.

357
00:12:54,593 --> 00:12:57,758
- It doesn't really make sense.
- Oh, I am making you flustered!

358
00:12:57,791 --> 00:12:59,798
[Laughs] Aren't I?

359
00:12:59,831 --> 00:13:00,926
Yes, you are.

360
00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:02,534
Come on, it would be so fun,
you know.

361
00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:04,430
And it's not love or anything,
you know?

362
00:13:04,463 --> 00:13:05,670
- No, no.
- But you are definitely

363
00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,167
the hottest guy in the room.

364
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,705
Well, that's--that's not
really saying much, is it?

365
00:13:08,738 --> 00:13:10,377
Oh, I mean, and it's safe to say

366
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:12,114
that I'm the hottest girl
in the room.

367
00:13:12,147 --> 00:13:13,378
Well, you are.
You are...

368
00:13:13,411 --> 00:13:15,314
- except for Terry, of course.
- Of course!

369
00:13:15,347 --> 00:13:16,313
- Right.
- Yeah.

370
00:13:16,346 --> 00:13:17,383
Terry is pretty ho--

371
00:13:17,416 --> 00:13:18,815
what is the deal
with him, anyway?

372
00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:19,983
I haven't been able to get
the straight story from anybody.

373
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,151
Yeah, I'm not really sure.

374
00:13:21,184 --> 00:13:23,054
Everyone says one thing,
and then he says anoth--

375
00:13:23,087 --> 00:13:24,349
- Yep.
- Oh! Oh, hey.

376
00:13:24,382 --> 00:13:26,586
- Hank, your manager's here.
- Oh, awesome.

377
00:13:26,619 --> 00:13:27,985
All right, well,
you think about it, Hank.

378
00:13:28,018 --> 00:13:29,819
I will, "Jarde."

379
00:13:29,859 --> 00:13:31,556
- [Laughs]
- Think about what?

380
00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:33,292
None of your
fucking business, Hugh.

381
00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:34,564
Get out of here.

382
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:37,460
Close the door.

383
00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:39,164
[Sighs]

384
00:13:39,197 --> 00:13:41,640
- Jade's pretty cute, huh?
- Totes.

385
00:13:41,673 --> 00:13:43,747
I'm trying to get the nerve
to ask her out.

386
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:46,347
You should do that.
You should do that right now.

387
00:13:46,381 --> 00:13:47,942
- Yeah, you think I have a shot?
- Yeah.

388
00:13:47,947 --> 00:13:49,982
We're always the last
to know, aren't we?

389
00:13:50,015 --> 00:13:52,812
She is totally warm
for your pear-shaped form, dude.

390
00:13:52,845 --> 00:13:54,318
Trust.

391
00:13:54,351 --> 00:13:56,885
What's up, sweet cheeks?
What are you doing here?

392
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:59,085
I came to support
my most important client

393
00:13:59,118 --> 00:14:01,254
as he produces his very first
episode of television.

394
00:14:01,295 --> 00:14:03,157
Yeah, it's really
kind of an imposition, Charlie.

395
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,428
I don't have time to babysit

396
00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:06,193
your pale, pockmarked
ass right now.

397
00:14:06,226 --> 00:14:08,507
Actually, I kind of need
to talk to you about something.

398
00:14:08,532 --> 00:14:09,613
Of course it's about you.

399
00:14:09,629 --> 00:14:11,230
I should have figured
that out sooner.

400
00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:13,238
I'm in a really bad way
right now, Hank.

401
00:14:13,271 --> 00:14:15,805
What is it--still
with the uncooperative ween?

402
00:14:15,838 --> 00:14:17,606
No, that's working
pretty well now, actually.

403
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,639
Well, that's great!

404
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,079
- Right?
- Not exactly.

405
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,544
Come on, Charlie,
I don't have all day.

406
00:14:23,585 --> 00:14:25,753
I got to meet Karen
for a drink later on.

407
00:14:25,786 --> 00:14:28,014
A drink with Karen--
what's that all about?

408
00:14:28,055 --> 00:14:29,751
Everything
is so fucking crazy right now,

409
00:14:29,784 --> 00:14:32,288
I don't feel like I can make
the right move to save my life,

410
00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:33,958
and she centers me, you know?

411
00:14:33,991 --> 00:14:36,293
I could use some centering
myself right now.

412
00:14:36,327 --> 00:14:38,629
Okay.
All right, buddy, out with it.

413
00:14:38,662 --> 00:14:39,964
- [Sighs]
- What is it?

414
00:14:39,997 --> 00:14:43,672
Stu has offered me
a million dollars

415
00:14:43,705 --> 00:14:45,272
to let him fuck Marcy again.

416
00:14:45,305 --> 00:14:47,136
[Laughs] You're kidding?

417
00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:48,875
- I'm not kidding.
- That is fucked up, Charlie.

418
00:14:48,908 --> 00:14:49,916
I know!

419
00:14:49,949 --> 00:14:51,920
You're not gonna do it, are you?

420
00:14:51,953 --> 00:14:53,783
I don't know yet.

421
00:14:53,824 --> 00:14:56,119
Marcy really wants the money.

422
00:14:56,152 --> 00:14:59,395
- We could really use the cash.
- Wow.

423
00:14:59,428 --> 00:15:01,395
You know, I-I would never
be okay with somebody

424
00:15:01,428 --> 00:15:03,133
fucking Karen
for a million dollars.

425
00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:04,775
I mean, I had to put up
with Bates banging her

426
00:15:04,808 --> 00:15:07,309
for that whole time, and
I didn't even get paid for it.

427
00:15:07,342 --> 00:15:08,941
And who knows what kind
of nasty shit

428
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,675
is swimming around
that guy's urethra?

429
00:15:10,708 --> 00:15:13,338
He's probably got the avian flu
swimming around in his semen.

430
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,515
- Back to me, okay?
- Sure. What?

431
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,681
All right,
slightly complicating matters

432
00:15:17,714 --> 00:15:20,715
is the fact that every
single time we discuss it,

433
00:15:20,748 --> 00:15:23,220
we get incredibly turned on
and end up fucking.

434
00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:25,186
What the fuck is wrong
with you two?

435
00:15:25,219 --> 00:15:26,893
I don't know.

436
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,631
I'll tell you what's wrong
with you and your dick, Charlie.

437
00:15:28,664 --> 00:15:30,144
It's that deep down,
you don't believe

438
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,396
that you deserve to be happy.

439
00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:32,701
That's your fucking problem.

440
00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:34,295
You got to tell your dick
that it's okay

441
00:15:34,303 --> 00:15:35,767
to live happily ever after.

442
00:15:35,808 --> 00:15:38,469
- Speak of the fucking devil.
- The handsome devil.

443
00:15:38,501 --> 00:15:40,203
How's everything going
on the stage?

444
00:15:40,236 --> 00:15:41,371
It's a fucking nightmare, Stu.

445
00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:44,169
- Care to lend a hand?
- Oh, God, no.

446
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,811
I'm what they call a
"hands-off executive producer."

447
00:15:46,844 --> 00:15:48,379
Except when it comes
to the money, right?

448
00:15:48,412 --> 00:15:49,546
Oh, but of course.

449
00:15:49,579 --> 00:15:51,178
Oh, speaking of money,

450
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:52,881
I'm gonna be putting a clock

451
00:15:52,914 --> 00:15:55,152
on that offer
I made you, Charlie.

452
00:15:55,185 --> 00:15:57,088
I think you know which one
I'm talking about.

453
00:15:57,121 --> 00:15:59,320
Yeah, we know all about
your indecent proposal, Stu.

454
00:15:59,353 --> 00:16:01,025
Well, I think
it is very decent--

455
00:16:01,058 --> 00:16:03,058
- Oh! Oh-ho!
- Oh!

456
00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:04,530
- My man, butterbean!
- Oh!

457
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:05,995
- Champion!
- Jesus!

458
00:16:06,028 --> 00:16:07,964
Runkle, are you
out of your mind?

459
00:16:07,997 --> 00:16:09,637
You insulted my man's pride.

460
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:10,973
- That's right.
- Insulted him?

461
00:16:11,006 --> 00:16:12,501
I made a very generous offer,

462
00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:15,037
and I think it speaks
to the depth

463
00:16:15,078 --> 00:16:17,575
of my feelings for Marcy
that the offer still stands,

464
00:16:17,616 --> 00:16:21,848
in spite of this completely
unwarranted aggression.

465
00:16:21,889 --> 00:16:24,017
Hashtag's looking for you, Hank.

466
00:16:24,058 --> 00:16:27,921
What the fuck does
that asshole want now?

467
00:16:27,962 --> 00:16:30,993
He's standing right behind me,
isn't he?

468
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:33,507
I thought we was friends, Moody.

469
00:16:33,529 --> 00:16:35,166
We are, Hashtag.
We are.

470
00:16:35,199 --> 00:16:37,062
It's just--it's--
I'm in such a frenzy here,

471
00:16:37,095 --> 00:16:40,569
and this bitch is running off
the rails as we speak.

472
00:16:40,602 --> 00:16:42,472
Come on, walk with me.

473
00:16:42,505 --> 00:16:44,544
Man, what the fuck is up
with that motherfucker?

474
00:16:44,577 --> 00:16:45,809
Which one?

475
00:16:45,842 --> 00:16:47,979
The one whose gender confuses
the shit out of me.

476
00:16:48,012 --> 00:16:50,822
- Terry, yep.
- Yeah, Terry.

477
00:16:50,855 --> 00:16:52,391
What's the deal
with that lady-dude?

478
00:16:52,424 --> 00:16:53,961
I haven't been able to get
a straight answer.

479
00:16:53,994 --> 00:16:55,897
- I don't know.
- You smoke weed?

480
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:58,435
- I most certainly do.
- Smoke with me.

481
00:16:58,468 --> 00:17:00,933
- Vaporizer.
- I will.

482
00:17:04,742 --> 00:17:06,477
Level with me, Moody.

483
00:17:06,511 --> 00:17:08,877
- You think I got what it takes?
- What it takes?

484
00:17:08,910 --> 00:17:10,382
Yeah, to handle superstardom.

485
00:17:10,415 --> 00:17:14,719
Sure. Why not, Hashtag?
You're as cool as they come.

486
00:17:14,752 --> 00:17:17,919
I present myself that way,
but I don't know, man.

487
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,129
It's like, sometimes
I want to go back to the clubs,

488
00:17:20,162 --> 00:17:21,729
you know, make motherfuckers
laugh their asses off,

489
00:17:21,762 --> 00:17:23,634
- you know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, I get it.

490
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,969
Sometimes I want to go back
to my childhood bedroom

491
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:28,065
and write a short story
and then pleasure myself

492
00:17:28,106 --> 00:17:31,198
to my trusty old copy
of <i>Penthouse Letters.</i>

493
00:17:31,239 --> 00:17:33,007
You know,
if this shit flops, right,

494
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,977
my face is on every billboard.

495
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,880
That's why I'm so particular
about my shit.

496
00:17:36,913 --> 00:17:38,709
I-I understand.
It's just--

497
00:17:38,742 --> 00:17:40,212
I wouldn't steer you wrong,
Hashtag.

498
00:17:40,245 --> 00:17:44,278
So what you think
about Amy Taylor Walsh?

499
00:17:44,319 --> 00:17:45,814
Very talented.

500
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,455
Yeah, yeah,
she's a good actor and all.

501
00:17:47,488 --> 00:17:49,954
I'm saying, like, you know,
she's crazy hot, right?

502
00:17:49,995 --> 00:17:52,115
Hey, why don't you write me
a scene where me and her--

503
00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:53,499
like, we're just making out.

504
00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:55,436
I mean, I don't care if it's,
like, a dream sequence.

505
00:17:55,469 --> 00:17:56,500
That way,
if the show get canceled,

506
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,500
at least I'll have that.

507
00:17:57,531 --> 00:17:59,033
I could do that for you,
Hashtag,

508
00:17:59,066 --> 00:18:01,166
but I think the third episode
is too soon, you know?

509
00:18:01,199 --> 00:18:03,568
I trust your instincts.

510
00:18:03,601 --> 00:18:05,272
I thought you were into Julia.

511
00:18:05,305 --> 00:18:08,111
Nah, Julia, man--
it's too complicated.

512
00:18:08,144 --> 00:18:09,836
You got a kid with her.
Rath digs her.

513
00:18:09,877 --> 00:18:11,275
[Clicks tongue] I'm good, man.

514
00:18:11,308 --> 00:18:13,275
I'm not trying to have a project
on my hands, you feel me?

515
00:18:13,308 --> 00:18:16,075
- Copy that, motherfucker.
- [Laughs]

516
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:17,379
Yeah, man.

517
00:18:17,412 --> 00:18:18,652
You know, I'm happy
we had this talk.

518
00:18:18,685 --> 00:18:20,380
I feel like we connected
on a human level.

519
00:18:20,421 --> 00:18:21,515
Me too.

520
00:18:21,548 --> 00:18:23,587
- I really respect your writing.
- Thank you.

521
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:26,018
And I really respect
your taste in weed.

522
00:18:26,052 --> 00:18:28,491
Hey, we can smoke anytime.

523
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,259
Boys! Ah!

524
00:18:30,292 --> 00:18:32,659
- [Laughs] What up? What up?
- Oh, whoo!

525
00:18:32,692 --> 00:18:34,426
Hey, y'all got
some pitches for me?

526
00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:36,531
Yeah!
Yo, man, we got a phone book

527
00:18:36,564 --> 00:18:38,467
full of funny shit right here,
brother, right here.

528
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,866
We're shitting jokes
on the walk over here, boy.

529
00:18:39,899 --> 00:18:41,136
Shitting jokes?
Shitting jokes!

530
00:18:41,169 --> 00:18:42,938
What? What? What?
[Laughter]

531
00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:44,738
Shit them jokes!
Hey, fuck exposition, right?

532
00:18:44,771 --> 00:18:46,537
Wait, wait, hold it.
What are you talking about?

533
00:18:46,578 --> 00:18:48,902
Oh, I had them rewrite the
scene, you know what I'm saying?

534
00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:50,971
- Punch it up, make it funny.
- My--my scene?

535
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:52,876
The one I wrote,
the one we're about to shoot?

536
00:18:52,909 --> 00:18:54,212
I mean, you said
you didn't want to rewrite it,

537
00:18:54,245 --> 00:18:56,442
so I had these boys come in,
you know, make it funny.

538
00:18:56,475 --> 00:18:58,547
And plus, you know what?
You're not a comedy writer.

539
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:01,181
But I'm witty, right?
[Laughter]

540
00:19:01,222 --> 00:19:04,255
- Sorry, Moody.
- I still love you, Moody.

541
00:19:04,288 --> 00:19:06,496
Amy Taylor Walsh
wants to see you...

542
00:19:06,529 --> 00:19:08,632
- in her trailer.
- Lovely.

543
00:19:08,665 --> 00:19:10,001
Do you want me to chaperone?

544
00:19:10,034 --> 00:19:11,994
I do have a lot of experience
with these weirdoes.

545
00:19:12,003 --> 00:19:14,340
That is a kind offer,
Terry, but--

546
00:19:14,373 --> 00:19:15,476
but, no, thank you.

547
00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:17,742
But--but can I ask
you something?

548
00:19:17,775 --> 00:19:21,014
Yes.

549
00:19:21,047 --> 00:19:23,885
Never mind.

550
00:19:23,919 --> 00:19:25,620
Forget it.

551
00:19:33,987 --> 00:19:36,795
[Knock at door]
Come in.

552
00:19:40,997 --> 00:19:42,101
Wowza.

553
00:19:42,134 --> 00:19:44,531
Just wanted your thoughts
on my wardrobe.

554
00:19:44,572 --> 00:19:46,171
- Huh.
- What do you think?

555
00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:48,106
I think it looks great.

556
00:19:48,139 --> 00:19:50,138
Is--is there another option?

557
00:19:50,171 --> 00:19:51,738
Nope.
[Laughs]

558
00:19:51,771 --> 00:19:54,745
I just really wanted you to see
me in my lacy underthings.

559
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:57,778
Mission accomplished,
and thank you for that.

560
00:19:57,811 --> 00:19:59,480
You're welcome.

561
00:19:59,512 --> 00:20:01,478
You know, I do need
to fix something.

562
00:20:01,511 --> 00:20:04,719
- What is that?
- This.

563
00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:09,484
- Mm.
- There, done.

564
00:20:09,517 --> 00:20:11,187
What--what exactly
did you fix?

565
00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:13,088
I just--I didn't think
it was right

566
00:20:13,121 --> 00:20:15,320
that you'd gone down on me,
and we hadn't even kissed yet.

567
00:20:15,353 --> 00:20:16,423
Oh, you're right.

568
00:20:16,456 --> 00:20:18,124
That does seem
a little improper.

569
00:20:18,158 --> 00:20:19,723
- Mm-hmm.
- Absolutely right.

570
00:20:19,757 --> 00:20:21,553
Yeah, very.

571
00:20:21,586 --> 00:20:23,456
Oh, you--ooh, you know what,
Amy Taylor Walsh?

572
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,056
I'm gonna go out on a limb here

573
00:20:25,089 --> 00:20:29,831
and suggest that perhaps
this is not the best of ideas.

574
00:20:29,864 --> 00:20:31,359
Why is that?

575
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:36,030
Because these are the times
that try men's souls.

576
00:20:36,063 --> 00:20:37,835
[Laughs]
Is that what I'm doing?

577
00:20:37,868 --> 00:20:40,432
- Yeah.
- Am I trying your soul?

578
00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:43,333
- Among other things.
- [Chuckles]

579
00:20:45,634 --> 00:20:48,370
Mm.
Are you high?

580
00:20:48,403 --> 00:20:50,902
Um, a little bit more
than I'd like to be.

581
00:20:50,935 --> 00:20:54,598
Hmm.
Who'd you get high with?

582
00:20:54,639 --> 00:20:57,538
[Door opens] Amy Taylor Walsh!

583
00:20:57,571 --> 00:21:00,106
What the--
what the--

584
00:21:00,139 --> 00:21:02,105
- What the fuck is this shit?
- What the fuck?

585
00:21:02,138 --> 00:21:03,858
You can't just come busting
into my trailer!

586
00:21:03,873 --> 00:21:05,105
Lock the fucking door.

587
00:21:05,146 --> 00:21:07,409
I wasn't expecting
any fucking visitors.

588
00:21:07,442 --> 00:21:09,114
- Listen, I'm gonna go--
- This is my joint, okay?

589
00:21:09,147 --> 00:21:11,115
I'm number one
on the call sheet!

590
00:21:11,148 --> 00:21:13,156
I don't give a shit
what number you are,

591
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:14,525
I'm not gonna fuck you, Hashtag.

592
00:21:14,558 --> 00:21:15,892
Well, you making a mistake,

593
00:21:15,925 --> 00:21:17,922
'cause bitches love me,
and I need an on-set romance!

594
00:21:17,955 --> 00:21:19,753
Go fuck an extra!
That's what they're for.

595
00:21:19,794 --> 00:21:22,789
- I'm too pretty for that.
- Get out!

596
00:21:22,822 --> 00:21:24,125
Bullshit!
[Door slams]

597
00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:26,692
Can you believe how
unprofessional some people are?

598
00:21:26,725 --> 00:21:27,995
- So unprofessional.
- So crazy.

599
00:21:28,028 --> 00:21:29,363
[Door opens]

600
00:21:29,396 --> 00:21:31,427
Moody,
I can't believe this, man.

601
00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:33,929
After the talk we had?
This is bullshit.

602
00:21:33,962 --> 00:21:35,495
Get out.

603
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,096
They're ready on set.

604
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,504
All right,
let's make some television!

605
00:21:46,502 --> 00:21:48,634
- Are you on your way?
- Yeah, I'm on my way.

606
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:51,368
- How about you?
- I will be, shortly...

607
00:21:51,409 --> 00:21:52,575
very shortly.

608
00:21:52,608 --> 00:21:53,838
We just got to rehearse
this scene.

609
00:21:53,871 --> 00:21:55,806
- 30 minutes or less.
- Oh, Hank.

610
00:21:55,839 --> 00:21:58,007
I don't want to wait
for what already promises

611
00:21:58,047 --> 00:22:00,110
to be a pretty
unpleasant conversation.

612
00:22:00,143 --> 00:22:01,644
Why you got to be like that?

613
00:22:01,677 --> 00:22:03,516
I'm looking forward to this.
And thank you.

614
00:22:03,549 --> 00:22:05,149
- Thank you for doing it.
- It's okay.

615
00:22:05,183 --> 00:22:06,582
You know, I just want to talk

616
00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:09,116
about how and when you plan
to tell Becca

617
00:22:09,149 --> 00:22:11,154
about all the shiny, new people
in your life,

618
00:22:11,187 --> 00:22:12,554
and then--and then
I want to go, okay?

619
00:22:12,587 --> 00:22:13,785
I want to go home.

620
00:22:13,818 --> 00:22:15,655
- Deal?
- Deal.

621
00:22:15,688 --> 00:22:17,358
But I just got to see you smile

622
00:22:17,391 --> 00:22:20,424
before you go home, okay?
One time?

623
00:22:20,456 --> 00:22:22,126
I can't make any promises.

624
00:22:22,159 --> 00:22:24,458
Perfect. I wouldn't want it
any other way.

625
00:22:24,491 --> 00:22:26,528
I'll see you soon.

626
00:22:35,463 --> 00:22:36,903
- I thought you could use this.
- Oh.

627
00:22:36,998 --> 00:22:38,997
Thanks, kid, you read my mind.

628
00:22:39,038 --> 00:22:41,404
How did I do?
Was I any good?

629
00:22:41,436 --> 00:22:43,705
I don't really remember it,
except for the fart,

630
00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:46,536
which was good--
solid, solid fart.

631
00:22:46,569 --> 00:22:48,840
Yeah, it was fucking
embarrassing, though.

632
00:22:48,873 --> 00:22:50,304
It was memorable.

633
00:22:50,345 --> 00:22:52,838
You were right.
Eddie Nero is a fucking psycho.

634
00:22:52,878 --> 00:22:54,803
I mean, the guy wouldn't stop
talking about you

635
00:22:54,844 --> 00:22:56,370
and taking a man in his mouth.

636
00:22:56,411 --> 00:22:59,070
I think what he really wants
is to take you in his mouth.

637
00:22:59,103 --> 00:23:01,036
Oh, well, it's always nice
to be wanted.

638
00:23:01,076 --> 00:23:02,674
Yeah.
How's it going?

639
00:23:02,707 --> 00:23:04,737
Not great.

640
00:23:04,777 --> 00:23:06,545
- Are you stoned?
- Huh?

641
00:23:06,578 --> 00:23:09,145
- Are you stoned?
- Not as much as I'd like to be.

642
00:23:09,178 --> 00:23:11,311
- And try one.
- We'll just try it.

643
00:23:11,344 --> 00:23:13,677
- Will you just listen?
- And action.

644
00:23:13,710 --> 00:23:15,077
- Freeze!
- Freeze!

645
00:23:15,118 --> 00:23:17,408
You got the right
to remain sexy.

646
00:23:17,441 --> 00:23:18,678
Oh, come on!

647
00:23:18,711 --> 00:23:22,044
And anything you say
will be held against me.

648
00:23:22,077 --> 00:23:23,716
One time, do it like the script--once.

649
00:23:23,749 --> 00:23:26,577
Do you understand the kisses
that's coming out of my mouth?

650
00:23:26,610 --> 00:23:29,050
What the fuck is this?
Cut!

651
00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:31,554
Who the hell is yelling "Cut"
on my se--oh, sorry.

652
00:23:31,587 --> 00:23:33,217
I call "Cut" when I see the inmates

653
00:23:33,258 --> 00:23:34,288
running the fucking asylum!

654
00:23:34,321 --> 00:23:36,222
Hank, what's going on here, man?

655
00:23:36,255 --> 00:23:38,051
I think Hashtag is just
working some shit

656
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:40,218
through his system,
and--and, you know,

657
00:23:40,251 --> 00:23:42,058
we're gonna circle back
and get it all.

658
00:23:42,091 --> 00:23:43,427
- It's gonna be fine.
- You're the adult.

659
00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:44,956
You have to babysit them,

660
00:23:44,997 --> 00:23:46,531
or they're gonna
rollerblade all over you.

661
00:23:46,564 --> 00:23:48,699
Wait, wait, wait.
Moody's your idea of an adult...

662
00:23:48,732 --> 00:23:50,395
when he's sticking his pecker
in all the female actresses?

663
00:23:50,436 --> 00:23:51,468
For real?

664
00:23:51,501 --> 00:23:53,173
Okay, let's not rehash
ancient history.

665
00:23:53,206 --> 00:23:54,804
That was weeks ago.
We're past that.

666
00:23:54,837 --> 00:23:55,868
Now let's deal with this.

667
00:23:55,909 --> 00:23:58,109
Oh, no, it was five minutes ago!

668
00:23:58,142 --> 00:23:59,845
I caught him macking
on Amy Taylor Walsh.

669
00:23:59,878 --> 00:24:01,411
What the fuck did I tell you?

670
00:24:01,444 --> 00:24:02,507
- You were macking on her?
- [Sighs]

671
00:24:02,548 --> 00:24:04,412
- What does "macking" mean?
- Nothing.

672
00:24:04,445 --> 00:24:06,084
It means, like, making out.

673
00:24:06,117 --> 00:24:08,855
You were--you were macking on
her when you were inside of me?

674
00:24:08,888 --> 00:24:10,689
- Julia, hold on.
- Wait. You were inside her?

675
00:24:10,719 --> 00:24:12,421
- What the fuck, man?
- That didn't happen.

676
00:24:12,454 --> 00:24:13,789
May I suggest a sidebar?

677
00:24:13,822 --> 00:24:16,326
See, I-I should have trusted
my gut with you.

678
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,198
I never should have hired you.
I was right.

679
00:24:18,231 --> 00:24:20,935
You are a fucking toddler
with a toxic personality.

680
00:24:20,968 --> 00:24:22,537
Wait. Does this mean you guys
are getting back together?

681
00:24:22,570 --> 00:24:24,001
'Cause that would be incredible.

682
00:24:24,042 --> 00:24:25,470
It's like the world's greatest
fucking love story.

683
00:24:25,503 --> 00:24:26,869
I can't believe
I'm playing second fiddle

684
00:24:26,902 --> 00:24:28,204
to a fucking guest star.

685
00:24:28,237 --> 00:24:30,374
- Come on, really?
- That's not very nice.

686
00:24:30,407 --> 00:24:32,711
Look, I'm not trying
to be a bitch.

687
00:24:32,744 --> 00:24:34,279
- I'm--
- Wait, wait. Wait, wait.

688
00:24:34,312 --> 00:24:35,909
Time-out, time-out.
What's the rules?

689
00:24:35,950 --> 00:24:37,582
She said "bitch."
I can't say "bitch"?

690
00:24:37,615 --> 00:24:39,383
Nobody's talking to you!

691
00:24:39,416 --> 00:24:40,950
- A woman can say it. Exactly.
- Oh, women can say it?

692
00:24:40,984 --> 00:24:42,488
I'm sorry. I just--
I'm feeling slightly used.

693
00:24:42,521 --> 00:24:44,626
That's all it was. Sorry.
I know the feeling.

694
00:24:44,659 --> 00:24:46,226
You knew I liked her. Where's
your fucking sense of honor?

695
00:24:46,259 --> 00:24:48,929
This guy--he has no honor
and no shame!

696
00:24:48,962 --> 00:24:50,563
Watch it, you fucking worm.
You want that stink finger?

697
00:24:50,604 --> 00:24:52,139
'Cause I'll fucking give it
to you!

698
00:24:52,172 --> 00:24:53,706
All right, you know what?
You're fucking fired.

699
00:24:53,739 --> 00:24:56,099
Take your fucking stink fingers
and get the fuck off my set,

700
00:24:56,106 --> 00:24:57,473
before you give
somebody pinkeye!

701
00:24:57,506 --> 00:24:58,976
Okay, excuse me.

702
00:24:59,009 --> 00:25:00,473
Whose set is this?

703
00:25:00,506 --> 00:25:02,210
You want to fire someone,
you got to go through me.

704
00:25:02,243 --> 00:25:04,807
- I'm an executive producer.
- In name only.

705
00:25:04,848 --> 00:25:06,480
- Can I fire him?
- No!

706
00:25:06,513 --> 00:25:08,679
You're lucky I live to shoot.

707
00:25:08,712 --> 00:25:10,948
- Rath, look, it's complicated.
- It's not complicated.

708
00:25:10,981 --> 00:25:13,049
I asked you, "Are you okay
with me pursuing her?"

709
00:25:13,082 --> 00:25:14,585
- Yes.
- You said you were, right?

710
00:25:14,618 --> 00:25:15,953
- Yes, yes.
- Then you move in on her?

711
00:25:15,986 --> 00:25:17,681
- What the fuck is that?
- I didn't move in on her.

712
00:25:17,721 --> 00:25:19,184
But it's like you said--

713
00:25:19,217 --> 00:25:21,523
we share a kid.
We both have private parts.

714
00:25:21,556 --> 00:25:23,059
Shit happens.

715
00:25:23,092 --> 00:25:25,026
And I'm not--I'm not gonna
apologize for any of this shit.

716
00:25:25,059 --> 00:25:26,456
It's none of your business
who she fucks

717
00:25:26,497 --> 00:25:29,758
or who she doesn't fuck,
'cause it's up to her.

718
00:25:29,791 --> 00:25:31,628
She doesn't exist to service us.

719
00:25:31,661 --> 00:25:34,259
We're lucky she even looks
in our direction occasionally.

720
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:36,635
Oh, I want to be mad at you,
but then you're so sweet!

721
00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:39,529
I know.
What a fucking asshole.

722
00:25:39,570 --> 00:25:42,431
- What the--
- Okay, back to work!

723
00:25:42,464 --> 00:25:44,303
Let's do the fucking scene,
all right?

724
00:25:44,336 --> 00:25:46,102
If there is so much
as a comma out of place,

725
00:25:46,135 --> 00:25:49,437
we stay all night
until we get it!

726
00:25:49,470 --> 00:25:52,476
This isn't the fucking
Improv Olympics, all right?

727
00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,874
It's Rick Rath's
finishing school for assholes,

728
00:25:54,907 --> 00:25:57,808
where the script is innocent
until proven guilty!

729
00:25:57,841 --> 00:26:00,849
[Cell phone ringing]

730
00:26:03,848 --> 00:26:06,447
Karen, I am so sorry.
I'm on my way.

731
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,521
Hank, it's Marcy.

732
00:26:08,554 --> 00:26:10,487
Marcy, what are you doing
with Karen's phone?

733
00:26:10,521 --> 00:26:12,558
And what's this I hear
about you fucking Stu for money?

734
00:26:12,591 --> 00:26:14,087
Hank, shut up and listen to me.

735
00:26:14,128 --> 00:26:16,150
I got to try to get through this
without crying.

736
00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:18,746
I'm at the hospital.

737
00:26:18,866 --> 00:26:22,504
Karen was in a car accident.

738
00:26:29,608 --> 00:26:32,605
[Engine turning]

739
00:26:32,725 --> 00:26:43,517
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

