1
00:00:00,671 --> 00:00:01,939
Bring daddy the remote.
2
00:00:02,340 --> 00:00:03,440
Bring the remote to daddy.
3
00:00:03,541 --> 00:00:05,074
Come on, Emma. I know you can do it.
4
00:00:05,075 --> 00:00:07,043
Bring the remote to daddy.
5
00:00:07,245 --> 00:00:08,410
Yes!
6
00:00:08,511 --> 00:00:10,279
Whoo!
7
00:00:11,648 --> 00:00:13,282
She's like a dog that can hold stuff.
8
00:00:13,383 --> 00:00:14,450
Babies are amazing.
9
00:00:14,551 --> 00:00:18,287
You know, babies aren't tiny bald butlers
10
00:00:18,388 --> 00:00:19,789
trained to serve you.
11
00:00:19,890 --> 00:00:21,891
Uh, yeah they are.
12
00:00:21,992 --> 00:00:24,160
And I know that because you trained me.
13
00:00:24,261 --> 00:00:26,763
I was the only kid in preschool
who could make a Margarita.
14
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:31,032
Aww, you were so cute when you said
15
00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:33,501
"Bwended or on the wocks?"
16
00:00:35,171 --> 00:00:38,306
All right, but we still need
to baby-proof this place.
17
00:00:38,407 --> 00:00:39,540
I mean, the sharp edges,
18
00:00:39,642 --> 00:00:41,076
the cabinets, the light sockets.
19
00:00:41,177 --> 00:00:43,211
We are locking it down, people.
20
00:00:45,248 --> 00:00:47,215
Mom, I appreciate you wanting to help,
21
00:00:47,316 --> 00:00:49,216
but I would never let
anything bad happen to Emma.
22
00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:50,818
I've got an eye on her 24/7.
23
00:00:50,919 --> 00:00:52,887
Isn't that right, Emma?
24
00:00:52,988 --> 00:00:54,021
Emma?
25
00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,890
- Oh my God.
- Emma Emma!
26
00:00:59,261 --> 00:01:00,560
What are we gonna do?!
27
00:01:00,662 --> 00:01:03,430
Oh, I don't know. Run!
28
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,599
No, Danny, this way! Come on!
29
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:07,534
Go.
30
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,843
- Synced and corrected by Retrojex -
- www.addic7ed.com -
31
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,816
Aw, come on. Aren't you gonna ask me
32
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:25,051
about my amazing weekend
in the country with Georgie?
33
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:28,154
Only if the story ends
with you leaving her there.
34
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,889
Why don't you like her?
35
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,325
I want you to like her. I really like her.
36
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,626
Well, for one, she hates me,
37
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,894
and two, she broke up me and Philip.
38
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,896
So not a huge fan.
39
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:40,533
I knew you were gonna
hold that against her.
40
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:43,068
Is there any way you could
just give her a second chance?
41
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,537
For me?
42
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,206
Please?
43
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,874
Fine.
44
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,676
If you like her,
45
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,645
then I will do my best to like her as well.
46
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,112
Thank you.
47
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,881
- Hi, Danny.
- Oh, hey.
48
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:57,615
- Riley.
- Hi.
49
00:01:57,717 --> 00:01:58,951
If you're not careful,
they're going to start
50
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,618
charging you rent for that stool.
51
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:04,923
And that was my best.
52
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,624
All right, I am out of here.
53
00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:09,294
Oh, what time do you need me to
be ready for the banquet tomorrow?
54
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:12,297
Oh, are you going to the rangers
end-of-season banquet too?
55
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:13,865
Uh, me too?
56
00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:15,032
Me only.
57
00:02:16,168 --> 00:02:18,336
Me not going, am I?
58
00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:19,871
Sorry.
59
00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:21,339
I kind of invited Georgie.
60
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,007
But you should meet
us for the after-party.
61
00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:24,075
It's always the most fun.
62
00:02:24,176 --> 00:02:26,210
Danny, you can't do that to poor Riley.
63
00:02:26,311 --> 00:02:28,913
Nobody wants to feel like a third wheel.
64
00:02:29,014 --> 00:02:32,216
Especially when they've
already been run over by one.
65
00:02:32,317 --> 00:02:33,885
Now if you'll excuse me,
66
00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:35,552
I'm just... I'm gonna go call my office
67
00:02:35,653 --> 00:02:38,222
and let them know I'm available
for that overtime, after all.
68
00:02:38,323 --> 00:02:39,523
Yay me.
69
00:02:41,293 --> 00:02:42,894
Is it something I said?
70
00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:45,562
Uh, it was everything you said.
71
00:02:45,663 --> 00:02:47,564
You know she's my best friend, right?
72
00:02:47,665 --> 00:02:50,201
I know. I get it.
73
00:02:50,302 --> 00:02:52,402
Actually, I don't think you do.
74
00:02:52,503 --> 00:02:53,870
I don't want to start a relationship
75
00:02:53,971 --> 00:02:55,338
by laying down a bunch of rules,
76
00:02:55,439 --> 00:02:56,873
but you have to get along with Riley.
77
00:02:56,974 --> 00:02:58,775
She's always been there for me,
78
00:02:58,876 --> 00:03:00,410
and I will always be there for her.
79
00:03:00,511 --> 00:03:02,678
And I really need the
two of you to be friends.
80
00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:04,214
And I will.
81
00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:06,482
It's only because you're so adorable.
82
00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:08,118
No, you're so adorable.
83
00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:09,452
No, you are.
84
00:03:09,553 --> 00:03:10,453
We both are.
85
00:03:10,554 --> 00:03:11,554
Jinx! You owe me a kiss!
86
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,863
Mom?
87
00:03:20,964 --> 00:03:22,097
What are you doing?
88
00:03:22,198 --> 00:03:24,867
Nothing.
89
00:03:24,968 --> 00:03:28,438
What's up with you?
90
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:31,674
Did you baby-proof
yourself into the drawer?
91
00:03:31,775 --> 00:03:33,875
No.
92
00:03:33,977 --> 00:03:37,579
No, I'm just taking a break.
93
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,581
Excuse me?
94
00:03:39,682 --> 00:03:41,683
Did there used to be
something here that we liked?
95
00:03:41,784 --> 00:03:43,652
I think we called it a foosball table.
96
00:03:43,753 --> 00:03:44,886
Oh, that thing?
97
00:03:44,988 --> 00:03:46,822
It was a death trap. It had to go.
98
00:03:46,923 --> 00:03:48,223
No no no no no!
99
00:03:48,325 --> 00:03:49,858
That table is Emma's college fund.
100
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,961
Ben, having actually been to college,
101
00:03:53,062 --> 00:03:55,863
you know, I can pretty much assure you
102
00:03:55,965 --> 00:03:58,266
that they don't give out
foosball scholarships.
103
00:03:58,367 --> 00:03:59,800
No no no!
104
00:03:59,901 --> 00:04:01,602
Every day after work,
I take a part of my tips
105
00:04:01,703 --> 00:04:02,971
and stick them in the little hole.
106
00:04:03,072 --> 00:04:04,738
There were thousands of
dollars in there, Mom.
107
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,208
Where is it?
108
00:04:07,309 --> 00:04:09,243
I sold it?
109
00:04:09,345 --> 00:04:10,411
You what?!
110
00:04:10,512 --> 00:04:12,013
Before you get too upset,
111
00:04:12,114 --> 00:04:14,147
I would like to present you
112
00:04:14,248 --> 00:04:15,883
a $20 bill
113
00:04:15,984 --> 00:04:18,819
for Emma's new college fund.
114
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,420
Mom!
115
00:04:20,522 --> 00:04:22,356
Well, Honey, I'm sorry.
116
00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:25,225
I sold it to a couple of
nice fraternity brothers.
117
00:04:25,326 --> 00:04:26,861
Oh, wait wait, huh?
118
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,562
I still got their number.
119
00:04:28,663 --> 00:04:32,132
All right, don't tell them I'm your mother.
120
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:33,500
I'm hoping to get invited to...
121
00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:35,902
a few rush parties, so.
122
00:04:36,004 --> 00:04:37,137
Okay.
123
00:04:37,238 --> 00:04:38,405
Well, I'll just tell them what happened
124
00:04:38,506 --> 00:04:40,907
and we'll go over there
and get it, all right?
125
00:04:41,009 --> 00:04:42,209
My simple, naive,
126
00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,878
non-college-educated
friend Ben.
127
00:04:46,981 --> 00:04:48,748
Bro, I was a frat man,
128
00:04:48,849 --> 00:04:51,851
and we don't allow
civilians into our world.
129
00:04:51,952 --> 00:04:53,285
You know what? You're right.
130
00:04:53,387 --> 00:04:54,887
I don't speak frat, but you do.
131
00:04:54,988 --> 00:04:56,922
Come on, man, let's go
get Emma's money back.
132
00:04:57,024 --> 00:04:59,358
No no, guys! Hey!
133
00:04:59,459 --> 00:05:02,194
Hey, what about me?
134
00:05:09,969 --> 00:05:11,203
Oh, good.
135
00:05:11,304 --> 00:05:12,271
It was just an extension.
136
00:05:12,372 --> 00:05:13,571
Whoo.
137
00:05:17,309 --> 00:05:18,576
Hi, uh...
138
00:05:18,677 --> 00:05:19,710
What happened to Danny?
139
00:05:19,811 --> 00:05:21,913
Oh, he had to head back to the rink.
140
00:05:22,014 --> 00:05:24,215
Oh. Bye!
141
00:05:24,316 --> 00:05:26,217
Riley!
142
00:05:26,318 --> 00:05:28,586
I thought maybe we could hang out a little.
143
00:05:28,687 --> 00:05:30,221
Have some lunch.
144
00:05:30,322 --> 00:05:32,122
There's no reason we can't be friends.
145
00:05:32,223 --> 00:05:33,790
Sure there is.
146
00:05:33,891 --> 00:05:35,459
Uh, you insult me constantly,
147
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,461
you had your brother break up with me,
148
00:05:37,562 --> 00:05:40,797
I got a super cute haircut
that you didn't even mention.
149
00:05:40,898 --> 00:05:42,566
Should I keep going, or are we good?
150
00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:44,201
Isn't there any way we can move on?
151
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,469
Let the past be the past?
152
00:05:45,570 --> 00:05:47,237
Yeah...
153
00:05:47,338 --> 00:05:48,539
I'm thinking no.
154
00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,541
But, um...
155
00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:52,875
What am I gonna tell everyone at "Vogue"?
156
00:05:52,976 --> 00:05:54,477
You know I work at "Vogue," right?
157
00:05:54,578 --> 00:05:56,812
Yeah, it's right up there at the top of my
158
00:05:56,913 --> 00:05:58,481
"life's not fair" list.
159
00:05:58,582 --> 00:06:00,083
Well, um,
160
00:06:00,184 --> 00:06:03,018
I was talking to a few of
my colleagues about you,
161
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,455
and we have this opening in legal.
162
00:06:05,556 --> 00:06:07,123
I'm sorry.
163
00:06:07,224 --> 00:06:09,192
"Vogue" needs a lawyer?
164
00:06:09,293 --> 00:06:10,526
Oh my God.
165
00:06:10,627 --> 00:06:12,260
That's like my dream job.
166
00:06:12,361 --> 00:06:14,929
I recommended you,
167
00:06:15,030 --> 00:06:18,032
but it would be awkward if
we weren't really friends.
168
00:06:21,036 --> 00:06:22,537
Why wouldn't we be friends?
169
00:06:22,638 --> 00:06:24,206
We are totally friends.
170
00:06:24,307 --> 00:06:26,708
Look at us just sitting here being friends.
171
00:06:28,978 --> 00:06:30,212
Okay, man, we lucked out.
172
00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:31,679
It's rush week,
173
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:32,947
and they're having a pledge party.
174
00:06:33,048 --> 00:06:34,415
Okay, how does this sound?
175
00:06:34,516 --> 00:06:36,217
Hey, bros. You wanna
suck down some beer balls
176
00:06:36,318 --> 00:06:37,551
and kappa gamma some chicks?
177
00:06:39,254 --> 00:06:41,188
Ben...
178
00:06:41,289 --> 00:06:44,058
You are about to enter
a secret society, okay?
179
00:06:44,159 --> 00:06:45,526
We have to blend in.
180
00:06:45,628 --> 00:06:47,061
You know, make up new names for boobs,
181
00:06:47,162 --> 00:06:48,529
call everything "puppy."
182
00:06:48,631 --> 00:06:50,464
Like "let's chug this puppy,"
183
00:06:50,565 --> 00:06:54,134
or "dude, last night I
puked all over this puppy."
184
00:06:54,235 --> 00:06:55,869
Get it?
185
00:06:55,970 --> 00:06:58,271
I got you, puppy.
186
00:07:01,308 --> 00:07:02,643
Yeah, you don't get it.
187
00:07:10,852 --> 00:07:13,519
Looks like someone ran over this puppy.
188
00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,755
- Now you get it.
- Okay.
189
00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:19,191
Hey, guys.
190
00:07:19,292 --> 00:07:20,325
Welcome
191
00:07:20,426 --> 00:07:23,663
to the sigma beta kappa pledge party.
192
00:07:23,764 --> 00:07:26,532
I am the cool, yet still approachable
193
00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:28,000
chapter president Todd.
194
00:07:28,101 --> 00:07:29,268
How's it going?
195
00:07:29,369 --> 00:07:31,870
It's gonna be a great party, guys.
196
00:07:31,971 --> 00:07:34,072
Listen, we're looking for a
fraternity with a recently acquired
197
00:07:34,173 --> 00:07:35,406
foosball table.
198
00:07:35,507 --> 00:07:38,509
Have you been beaten up
by any guys like that?
199
00:07:38,610 --> 00:07:41,212
All the time.
200
00:07:41,313 --> 00:07:43,514
But we actually just got our own.
201
00:07:43,615 --> 00:07:44,783
See, Alfred?
202
00:07:44,884 --> 00:07:47,052
I told you a foosball table
was a better investment
203
00:07:47,153 --> 00:07:48,619
than strippers.
204
00:07:49,822 --> 00:07:51,589
You were right.
205
00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:56,093
Plus, we got to meet that
hot cougar lady, Bonnie.
206
00:07:59,298 --> 00:08:01,865
Okay, well, I'm Ben and this is Tucker.
207
00:08:01,966 --> 00:08:03,133
We were just hoping to have some beers
208
00:08:03,235 --> 00:08:04,168
and play some foosball.
209
00:08:04,269 --> 00:08:05,469
Oh, sorry, guys.
210
00:08:05,571 --> 00:08:07,672
We keep that puppy locked up.
211
00:08:08,973 --> 00:08:11,108
- See? Told you.
- Yeah.
212
00:08:11,209 --> 00:08:12,442
Only brothers allowed,
213
00:08:12,543 --> 00:08:13,877
but as soon as you pledge,
214
00:08:13,978 --> 00:08:17,647
you'll be on your way to an
all-access pass to friendship.
215
00:08:21,619 --> 00:08:23,187
Um, yeah, no no no.
216
00:08:23,287 --> 00:08:24,855
We're not pledging.
217
00:08:26,858 --> 00:08:29,860
Then I'm afraid we're gonna
have to ask you to leave.
218
00:08:29,961 --> 00:08:31,293
Please?
219
00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:34,330
Oh, no no no. He meant we're not
220
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,498
pledging for any other
fraternities but yours.
221
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,234
We're in.
222
00:08:38,335 --> 00:08:39,401
Let's pledge this puppy!
223
00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:41,037
Okay, now you're just showing off!
224
00:08:48,349 --> 00:08:49,949
Oh, hey, Danny.
225
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:51,184
Oh. Hey, Mom.
226
00:08:51,285 --> 00:08:52,952
Honey, help me, all right?
227
00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:54,921
I baby-proofed myself out here.
228
00:08:55,022 --> 00:08:56,623
I didn't hear a "please."
229
00:08:58,292 --> 00:09:01,027
I think I'm ready to
face the walk of shame.
230
00:09:01,128 --> 00:09:02,762
I don't know why people call it that.
231
00:09:02,863 --> 00:09:05,198
I'm always like, "hey,
look at me! I just had sex."
232
00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:08,101
Well, I want to get out of
here before anyone sees me.
233
00:09:09,737 --> 00:09:10,870
Too late.
234
00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:13,272
Hey, Georgie, can I get a little help here?
235
00:09:13,373 --> 00:09:15,374
Bro, we just have to
break into the chapter room
236
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:17,476
and steal my table back.
Hey, what's up, Mom?
237
00:09:19,012 --> 00:09:21,380
Ben, being a pledge
means being hazed, okay?
238
00:09:21,481 --> 00:09:23,449
Being hazed means doing things.
239
00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:25,584
Scary things. Gross things.
240
00:09:25,685 --> 00:09:28,254
Things that may make you question
your sexuality years later.
241
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:32,023
Well, I don't care.
We're doing it for Emma.
242
00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:34,560
Should we rescue your mom?
243
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,027
Ehh.
244
00:09:36,129 --> 00:09:38,897
We could, but then she'd
never learn her lesson.
245
00:09:38,998 --> 00:09:41,066
Remember that one, Mom?
246
00:09:43,002 --> 00:09:44,970
I'm gonna kill you.
247
00:09:46,172 --> 00:09:47,740
Oh, that's the office.
248
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,241
- I'm gonna take this outside.
- Okay.
249
00:09:50,342 --> 00:09:52,910
Oh my God, get ready to
meet the new in-house counsel
250
00:09:53,011 --> 00:09:54,379
for "Vogue" magazine.
251
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,913
Thanks to your amazing girlfriend,
252
00:09:56,014 --> 00:09:57,315
who I love, I just had one of
253
00:09:57,416 --> 00:09:58,983
the best interviews of my life.
254
00:09:59,084 --> 00:10:01,152
Hey, that's great, Riles.
255
00:10:01,253 --> 00:10:02,787
Way to break that glass ceiling.
256
00:10:02,888 --> 00:10:06,824
How about you come over here
and break this glass window?
257
00:10:06,925 --> 00:10:08,592
Mom trapped herself out on the fire escape.
258
00:10:08,693 --> 00:10:09,960
Have you learned from your mistakes
259
00:10:10,061 --> 00:10:11,728
and how you'll do things
differently next time?
260
00:10:11,830 --> 00:10:13,697
I'm gonna kill you.
261
00:10:13,799 --> 00:10:16,967
Ooh, that sounds like
another 10 minutes to me.
262
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,770
Hey, if you want to go
say thank you to Georgie,
263
00:10:19,871 --> 00:10:21,038
she's on the fire escape.
264
00:10:21,139 --> 00:10:22,506
I've got a team meeting,
but I'm really glad
265
00:10:22,607 --> 00:10:23,507
you guys are getting along.
266
00:10:23,608 --> 00:10:25,276
Yeah.
267
00:10:26,678 --> 00:10:30,213
Could someone at least turn on the TV?
268
00:10:30,315 --> 00:10:33,216
Thank you so much for giving
that fake interview to Riley.
269
00:10:33,318 --> 00:10:35,752
She'll never know that job doesn't exist.
270
00:10:35,853 --> 00:10:38,988
Uh, I think she knows.
271
00:10:39,089 --> 00:10:40,357
Riley.
272
00:10:40,458 --> 00:10:41,558
I can explain.
273
00:10:41,659 --> 00:10:42,959
Okay.
274
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,761
But I'm gonna be listening for the phrase
275
00:10:44,862 --> 00:10:46,896
"I'm a bitch."
276
00:10:47,998 --> 00:10:49,665
So maybe I can't explain.
277
00:10:49,766 --> 00:10:51,434
Why would you get my hopes up for a job
278
00:10:51,535 --> 00:10:53,102
that doesn't even exist?
279
00:10:53,204 --> 00:10:54,304
I'm sorry.
280
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,239
I was just trying to get you to like me.
281
00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:58,574
Oh. Oh my God, is that it?
282
00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:00,243
Oh, well, we should just hug,
283
00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:01,577
or braid each other's hair,
284
00:11:01,678 --> 00:11:03,046
or throw each other off the roof.
285
00:11:03,147 --> 00:11:05,448
I'll start.
286
00:11:06,851 --> 00:11:09,285
Is there any way you could
maybe not mention this to Danny?
287
00:11:09,386 --> 00:11:11,220
Mention it?
288
00:11:11,321 --> 00:11:13,556
I am going to turn it into a play
289
00:11:13,657 --> 00:11:16,425
and then perform it for him.
290
00:11:16,526 --> 00:11:18,561
It's called "I told you so."
291
00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:19,962
So if you'll excuse me
292
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,330
I'm gonna go high five myself.
293
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,732
Okay.
294
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:26,502
Damn it, they really do keep it locked up.
295
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,237
Oh, here they come. Abort abort.
296
00:11:30,005 --> 00:11:32,173
Pledges, step forward
297
00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:34,376
and prepare to be marked for life.
298
00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:35,777
Bear your arms.
299
00:11:35,878 --> 00:11:37,445
Oh, I was afraid of this.
300
00:11:37,546 --> 00:11:39,213
Branding.
301
00:11:39,314 --> 00:11:40,882
Branding?
302
00:11:40,983 --> 00:11:43,117
Like cattle?
303
00:11:44,319 --> 00:11:46,220
Nope. Tattooed.
304
00:11:46,321 --> 00:11:47,655
Like a badass.
305
00:11:49,524 --> 00:11:51,225
Seriously?!
306
00:11:51,326 --> 00:11:52,559
That's it?
307
00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:55,562
Dude, you're supposed to
make us do naked push-ups,
308
00:11:55,663 --> 00:11:57,498
give us humiliating nicknames,
309
00:11:57,599 --> 00:11:59,300
blindfold us and drop us off in the woods
310
00:11:59,401 --> 00:12:00,634
with a match and a toenail clipper.
311
00:12:00,735 --> 00:12:02,370
I barely survived out there, man!
312
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:04,471
Why would we do that?
313
00:12:04,572 --> 00:12:06,440
Because we're pledges.
314
00:12:06,541 --> 00:12:07,808
It's what you're supposed to do.
315
00:12:07,910 --> 00:12:09,510
Here's an idea.
316
00:12:09,611 --> 00:12:11,512
Maybe we can clean the
floors using toothbrushes
317
00:12:11,613 --> 00:12:13,580
while you guys go out and party?
318
00:12:13,681 --> 00:12:15,382
Or to the library, your choice.
319
00:12:16,684 --> 00:12:18,585
- You'd really do that?
- Yeah, you bet.
320
00:12:18,686 --> 00:12:20,220
That's just how much we want to be here.
321
00:12:20,321 --> 00:12:22,055
New plan.
322
00:12:22,156 --> 00:12:24,391
I decree the pledges clean the house
323
00:12:24,492 --> 00:12:25,893
with toothbrushes.
324
00:12:25,993 --> 00:12:27,994
Brothers, get them your toothbrushes.
325
00:12:29,696 --> 00:12:30,696
Wait...
326
00:12:30,798 --> 00:12:32,265
But if you leave,
327
00:12:32,366 --> 00:12:35,135
how will you know we'll
stay and do the work?
328
00:12:36,804 --> 00:12:38,604
Excellent point.
329
00:12:38,705 --> 00:12:40,006
Remove your pants.
330
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:41,441
There you go.
331
00:12:45,779 --> 00:12:47,580
Good work, brother Tucker.
332
00:12:52,018 --> 00:12:53,653
Oh, Danny Danny Danny.
333
00:12:53,754 --> 00:12:56,589
Do I have a story for you, all right?
334
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:58,724
Curtain rises on a beautiful girl.
335
00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:00,927
Let's call her Riley.
336
00:13:01,027 --> 00:13:04,363
The evil ice queen, let's
call her your girlfriend...
337
00:13:04,465 --> 00:13:06,966
She's not my girlfriend. I
just got off the phone with her.
338
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:09,601
Damn it. She told you?
339
00:13:09,702 --> 00:13:11,269
I wanted to be the one to tell you.
340
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:12,871
Can I still tell you?
341
00:13:12,972 --> 00:13:13,939
Why would you want to tell me
342
00:13:14,039 --> 00:13:15,106
that she was breaking up with me?
343
00:13:15,207 --> 00:13:16,741
You mean you're breaking up with her.
344
00:13:16,843 --> 00:13:18,844
No. Why would I break up with her?
345
00:13:18,945 --> 00:13:20,411
I was falling in love with her.
346
00:13:22,348 --> 00:13:23,915
- You were?
- Yeah.
347
00:13:24,016 --> 00:13:26,084
I thought she was falling in love with me.
348
00:13:27,419 --> 00:13:28,586
You did?
349
00:13:28,687 --> 00:13:30,121
I just never had feelings like that really
350
00:13:30,222 --> 00:13:32,256
except for you...
351
00:13:32,358 --> 00:13:34,292
You know, no one.
352
00:13:34,393 --> 00:13:36,594
Well...
353
00:13:36,695 --> 00:13:38,363
What exactly did she tell you?
354
00:13:38,464 --> 00:13:39,930
Just that it was too hard.
355
00:13:40,032 --> 00:13:41,732
That she could see this
was never going to work.
356
00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:43,734
That I had too many
rules, which makes no sense
357
00:13:43,835 --> 00:13:46,436
because I only had the one that
she had to get along with you.
358
00:13:48,706 --> 00:13:49,973
You said that to her?
359
00:13:50,074 --> 00:13:51,074
Yeah.
360
00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:52,575
And now you guys are best friends,
361
00:13:52,676 --> 00:13:54,011
and I just got dumped.
362
00:13:56,014 --> 00:13:58,281
Do you think it'd be weird if I
asked you to stop talking to her?
363
00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:02,419
It's the least I can do.
364
00:14:12,578 --> 00:14:15,978
Dude, I can't believe you couldn't
break in to your own foosball table.
365
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,881
Hey, I called in an expert.
366
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,583
All right, almost there.
367
00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:22,485
Oh, all right.
368
00:14:22,587 --> 00:14:25,823
And here we go. Emma's
college fund is found.
369
00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:30,860
And it's not even enough
to apply to college.
370
00:14:32,096 --> 00:14:33,329
Really, Ben?
371
00:14:33,430 --> 00:14:34,764
A fistful of ones
372
00:14:34,865 --> 00:14:37,533
and an expired sandwich coupon?!
373
00:14:37,634 --> 00:14:39,435
Wow.
374
00:14:39,536 --> 00:14:40,770
You know, now that I think about it,
375
00:14:40,871 --> 00:14:42,605
I only started doing
this a couple weeks ago.
376
00:14:43,874 --> 00:14:45,141
Let's get out of here.
377
00:14:45,242 --> 00:14:46,843
That was super funny.
378
00:14:48,244 --> 00:14:50,345
What the heck is going on here?!
379
00:14:50,446 --> 00:14:54,349
And why is the foosball cougar here?
380
00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:56,351
I knew you'd find me.
381
00:14:57,653 --> 00:14:59,755
Look, here's the truth.
382
00:14:59,856 --> 00:15:01,089
This is my foosball table.
383
00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:02,758
My mom accidentally sold it to you.
384
00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:04,826
It has my daughter's
college fund inside of it.
385
00:15:04,927 --> 00:15:07,095
You have a kid?
386
00:15:07,196 --> 00:15:09,997
What's it like having sex?
387
00:15:11,532 --> 00:15:13,433
Hot... that's not the point.
388
00:15:13,534 --> 00:15:15,770
Look, there no longer is a point, okay?
389
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,671
'Cause there's no money
in there, so we'll see you.
390
00:15:17,773 --> 00:15:19,506
You guys are really leaving?
391
00:15:19,607 --> 00:15:22,442
Oh, hell yes.
392
00:15:22,543 --> 00:15:26,113
I am in my boxers for a fistful of ones.
393
00:15:26,214 --> 00:15:28,347
You might as well start
calling me Cinnamon.
394
00:15:31,551 --> 00:15:34,654
Well, it looks like we're not
gonna be a fraternity anymore.
395
00:15:34,755 --> 00:15:36,522
What are you talking about?
396
00:15:36,623 --> 00:15:39,759
We haven't met our
minimum number of pledges.
397
00:15:39,860 --> 00:15:41,828
We stopped looking after you guys walked in
398
00:15:41,929 --> 00:15:44,097
and pledge week ends tonight.
399
00:15:44,198 --> 00:15:45,165
So it's over
400
00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:46,766
for sigma beta kappa.
401
00:15:48,735 --> 00:15:50,736
Wow, man. That's a really sad story.
402
00:15:51,871 --> 00:15:53,406
Well, good luck.
403
00:15:55,776 --> 00:15:56,909
Mom, you coming?
404
00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:58,477
Yeah yeah, in a minute.
405
00:16:01,014 --> 00:16:02,915
Sorry I can't help you out, Kid.
406
00:16:03,016 --> 00:16:03,982
But...
407
00:16:18,865 --> 00:16:20,765
I mean, Danny would have figured out
408
00:16:20,867 --> 00:16:23,168
what kind of person Georgie
is eventually, right?
409
00:16:23,269 --> 00:16:24,736
Totally. It's good she's gone.
410
00:16:26,439 --> 00:16:28,173
You know what? I couldn't
even pledge if I wanted to,
411
00:16:28,274 --> 00:16:29,473
so I shouldn't feel guilty, right?
412
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:31,108
Oh my God, no.
413
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,044
You feel guilty when you
break up your best friend's
414
00:16:33,145 --> 00:16:35,779
relationship just to get
even with his girlfriend.
415
00:16:35,881 --> 00:16:37,248
Which I didn't do.
416
00:16:37,349 --> 00:16:38,749
Which is why...
417
00:16:38,851 --> 00:16:41,252
I do not feel guilty.
418
00:16:44,522 --> 00:16:46,891
Hey, delusion one and two.
419
00:16:46,992 --> 00:16:48,492
This just in...
420
00:16:48,593 --> 00:16:51,561
you're both horrible people.
421
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,629
Mom, I had to.
422
00:16:53,731 --> 00:16:55,565
I thought Emma's college fund was at stake.
423
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,567
Well, congratulations, Man.
424
00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:00,237
Your savings plan was about
as lame as that frat house.
425
00:17:00,338 --> 00:17:01,471
Yeah.
426
00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:04,107
If you're trying to make me feel guilty...
427
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:06,009
It's working.
428
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:07,143
Look, I mean.. Yeah, sure,
429
00:17:07,245 --> 00:17:08,778
their party skills were pathetic
430
00:17:08,879 --> 00:17:10,880
and the only girl they
could get was your mom.
431
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,084
But...
432
00:17:15,185 --> 00:17:16,952
At least they had each other.
433
00:17:17,053 --> 00:17:19,088
You know what, Tucker? You're right.
434
00:17:19,189 --> 00:17:20,756
You may speak frat,
435
00:17:20,857 --> 00:17:23,724
but I parlez vous partay.
436
00:17:23,994 --> 00:17:25,361
Let's go help those nerds.
437
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,795
Who's with me?
438
00:17:28,231 --> 00:17:29,764
Really?
439
00:17:30,866 --> 00:17:32,566
I just called Georgie's office.
440
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,236
She's actually flying home to London.
441
00:17:35,337 --> 00:17:38,439
I drove her out of the country.
442
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:41,642
Can we at least acknowledge
how impressive that is?
443
00:17:45,714 --> 00:17:46,614
Georgie!
444
00:17:46,715 --> 00:17:48,282
Georgie, wait!
445
00:17:48,383 --> 00:17:49,749
Riley?
446
00:17:49,850 --> 00:17:51,051
Excuse me, pardon me.
447
00:17:51,152 --> 00:17:52,752
Sorry. What are you doing here?
448
00:17:52,853 --> 00:17:53,787
How did you even get in?
449
00:17:53,888 --> 00:17:55,289
Not easy.
450
00:17:55,390 --> 00:17:57,757
Security had no sense of romance.
451
00:17:57,858 --> 00:17:59,559
Finally had to buy a ticket.
452
00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:01,094
- To London?
- Newark.
453
00:18:01,195 --> 00:18:03,496
It's the London of New Jersey.
454
00:18:04,565 --> 00:18:06,766
I can't let you do this.
455
00:18:06,867 --> 00:18:10,136
Okay? I can't let you walk
away from this relationship.
456
00:18:10,237 --> 00:18:11,304
I don't think I have a choice.
457
00:18:11,405 --> 00:18:12,571
You do.
458
00:18:12,672 --> 00:18:14,240
You do have a choice.
459
00:18:14,341 --> 00:18:16,442
All right, 'cause you can get on that plane
460
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:20,079
and fly away from possibly the best
thing that ever happened to you,
461
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:22,381
or you can come back with me
462
00:18:22,482 --> 00:18:24,550
and say yes.
463
00:18:24,651 --> 00:18:26,018
Say yes to love.
464
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:27,719
Nothing will change between us.
465
00:18:27,821 --> 00:18:29,087
It will. It will change.
466
00:18:29,188 --> 00:18:31,022
That's what I'm saying. It'll be different.
467
00:18:31,123 --> 00:18:32,958
I promise.
468
00:18:33,059 --> 00:18:35,093
You and me...
469
00:18:35,194 --> 00:18:36,594
we'll start over.
470
00:18:36,695 --> 00:18:38,229
Really?
471
00:18:38,331 --> 00:18:39,965
Really.
472
00:18:46,538 --> 00:18:47,772
Oh, we're not...
473
00:18:48,873 --> 00:18:49,974
You know what? Never mind.
474
00:18:51,209 --> 00:18:53,143
Well, I guess you don't have to
475
00:18:53,244 --> 00:18:54,911
leave the country for good now.
476
00:18:55,013 --> 00:18:57,081
Leave the country?
477
00:18:57,182 --> 00:19:00,284
It's a two-day trip to
London for the magazine.
478
00:19:00,385 --> 00:19:02,752
I had postponed it for Danny's banquet.
479
00:19:03,855 --> 00:19:05,622
Well, you might want to have a little chat
480
00:19:05,723 --> 00:19:07,857
with your assistant.
She can be kind of vague.
481
00:19:14,531 --> 00:19:16,799
Looks like these guys
are finally catching on.
482
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,102
Dude, I just found a goat
in one of the bedrooms
483
00:19:19,203 --> 00:19:21,104
and a pledge glued to the ceiling.
484
00:19:22,873 --> 00:19:24,773
I couldn't be prouder.
485
00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:26,941
Hey, when you're blessed
with so much coolness,
486
00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:28,743
sometimes it just feels good to give back.
487
00:19:30,179 --> 00:19:32,547
Hey, guys!
488
00:19:34,884 --> 00:19:37,752
We've recruited enough
pledges to save the house.
489
00:19:37,853 --> 00:19:38,820
I can't thank you enough.
490
00:19:38,921 --> 00:19:39,954
Hey, you're welcome.
491
00:19:40,056 --> 00:19:41,423
And if I ever get around
to going to college,
492
00:19:41,524 --> 00:19:43,958
I will definitely pledge here...
493
00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:46,093
If none of the cool houses will have me.
494
00:19:46,194 --> 00:19:48,362
Well, if you will excuse me,
495
00:19:48,463 --> 00:19:50,297
I have to go show brother Todd here
496
00:19:50,399 --> 00:19:52,966
how he can use his high
G.P.A. To get a cheerleader.
497
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:56,137
It's mathematically possible.
498
00:19:58,206 --> 00:19:59,206
Oh, hey, Danny.
499
00:19:59,307 --> 00:20:00,408
You and the team really came through.
500
00:20:00,509 --> 00:20:01,409
I appreciate it.
501
00:20:01,510 --> 00:20:02,743
What can I say?
502
00:20:02,844 --> 00:20:04,011
The guys respond well to the words
503
00:20:04,111 --> 00:20:06,413
"free beer and college girls."
504
00:20:06,514 --> 00:20:08,281
Now if I can just get
Georgie out of my head,
505
00:20:08,382 --> 00:20:10,016
then I might actually enjoy myself.
506
00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:12,152
Or maybe if you actually saw her,
507
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,186
it would be even better.
508
00:20:13,287 --> 00:20:14,754
Hey.
509
00:20:14,855 --> 00:20:16,756
Look who I ran into randomly
510
00:20:16,857 --> 00:20:17,890
doing nothing,
511
00:20:17,991 --> 00:20:19,892
going nowhere.
512
00:20:21,028 --> 00:20:23,262
So what have I missed?
513
00:20:23,363 --> 00:20:24,430
Besides you.
514
00:20:28,868 --> 00:20:30,436
Nicely done.
515
00:20:30,537 --> 00:20:33,072
So, you still think we're horrible people?
516
00:20:33,173 --> 00:20:36,408
Horrible people who can sleep tonight.
517
00:20:36,509 --> 00:20:38,743
Together?
518
00:20:38,844 --> 00:20:40,179
Not a chance.
519
00:20:41,747 --> 00:20:43,747
Honey.
520
00:20:43,749 --> 00:20:46,149
Bonnie, delta baba ghanonous.
521
00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:48,984
I'm a student, you're a student.
522
00:20:49,086 --> 00:20:51,553
Want to form a student union?
523
00:20:54,424 --> 00:20:56,325
Aah! Oh my God. Hi, there.
524
00:20:56,426 --> 00:20:58,227
Don't we have chemistry together?
525
00:20:58,328 --> 00:21:00,662
Class and the other kind?
526
00:21:00,764 --> 00:21:02,363
Want to form a compound?
527
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,435
Hi, Bonnie Wheeler.
528
00:21:07,536 --> 00:21:09,303
Divorced 40-something mother of two
529
00:21:09,404 --> 00:21:11,572
with a granddaughter and even
a grander sense of adventure.
530
00:21:11,673 --> 00:21:12,673
Can you deal with that?
531
00:21:13,876 --> 00:21:15,409
All right. Buckle up, peaches.
532
00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:19,410
- Synced and corrected by Retrojex -
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