1
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Previously on Californication...

2
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- You'd seriously pay...
- A million dollars to be inside of you again.

3
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,969
-  That is fucked up.
- I know!

4
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,390
- You're not gonna do it, are you?
- I don't know yet.

5
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We could really use the cash.

6
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I'm on my way. How about you?

7
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I will be. Shortly.

8
00:00:25,694 --> 00:00:27,483
- 30 minutes or less.
- Oh, Hank.

9
00:00:27,483 --> 00:00:29,988
I don't want to wait
for what already promises

10
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to be a pretty unpleasant conversation.

11
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I just got to see you smile,

12
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before you go home, okay? One time?

13
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I can't make any promises.

14
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A drink with Karen...
what's that all about?

15
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Everything is so fucking crazy right now,

16
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I don't feel like I can make
the right move to save my life,

17
00:00:43,494 --> 00:00:44,821
- and she centers me.

18
00:00:44,842 --> 00:00:45,842
Hank, shut up and listen to me.

19
00:00:45,873 --> 00:00:47,926
I got to try to get
through this without crying.

20
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I'm... at the hospital.

21
00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:53,526
Karen was in a car accident.

22
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What the fuck is wrong with me?

23
00:01:42,659 --> 00:01:45,060
Why couldn't I have been on time?

24
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Don't blame yourself, Hanky.

25
00:01:46,863 --> 00:01:48,263
Why not?

26
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She was going to meet me.

27
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Yeah, the guy was drunk.
He came out of nowhere.

28
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It could have happened anytime, anyplace.

29
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Yeah, you know how many times

30
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,452
I've driven around Venice fucked up?

31
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It could've been me behind the wheel.

32
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Yeah, maybe so.

33
00:02:00,677 --> 00:02:02,378
But that shit doesn't matter now.

34
00:02:02,412 --> 00:02:04,547
This is where we are,
and she's gonna be okay.

35
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You don't know that.

36
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How is she?

37
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Some fucking drunk broadsided her.

38
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She got pretty knocked around.

39
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She's in and out of consciousness.

40
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There might be some internal bleeding.

41
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What can I do?

42
00:02:19,563 --> 00:02:21,797
You can stop crying, for one.

43
00:02:21,832 --> 00:02:23,499
I can do that.

44
00:02:23,533 --> 00:02:26,502
I'm doing that...

45
00:02:26,536 --> 00:02:27,970
Right now.

46
00:02:28,004 --> 00:02:31,340
Okay, and you maybe
could donate some blood.

47
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She may need some.

48
00:02:35,145 --> 00:02:36,746
Is there something else...

49
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:39,982
I can do?

50
00:02:40,016 --> 00:02:41,684
Historically, I've been known

51
00:02:41,718 --> 00:02:43,152
to get a little bit woozy

52
00:02:43,186 --> 00:02:45,856
when it comes to the giving of blood.

53
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Maybe I won't be the right type.

54
00:02:48,725 --> 00:02:50,126
Ow!

55
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I'm not a fucking pincushion, woman!

56
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I didn't go in yet.

57
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Really?

58
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You got to be kidding me.

59
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It seemed like I felt every
inch of that thing going in.

60
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Now. Now it's going in.

61
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Ha!

62
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You're a sensitive one, ain't ya?

63
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He's a fucking ninny, is what he is.

64
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Woman was a fucking butcher, Hank.

65
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Hey, how are you doing, buddy?

66
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You hanging in there?

67
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'Cause I'm here to help.

68
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I feel a little woozy, though.

69
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You know, fuck this!

70
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Fuck, Karen. What are you doing?

71
00:03:43,647 --> 00:03:46,182
Why are you being such
an asshole about this?

72
00:03:46,216 --> 00:03:47,516
I'm actually trying very hard

73
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to be the opposite of an asshole.

74
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Well, you know what? You're
not doing a very good job.

75
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You're the one who brought it up,

76
00:03:52,756 --> 00:03:54,156
about me being a fucking asshole.

77
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Yeah, well, because you're making it

78
00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:57,193
so fucking obvious that
you don't want to go.

79
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Oh, really? How can you tell?

80
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Is it because I've said
it out loud many times?

81
00:04:01,565 --> 00:04:03,032
Yet here I am, going
where I don't want to go.

82
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You know, don't do me any favors, okay?

83
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Because it's just our entire
fucking future at stake.

84
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Jesus Christ, with the drama, Karen.

85
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Do you know how many times

86
00:04:10,574 --> 00:04:12,007
I've had to reschedule this appointment?

87
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Do you know how many times

88
00:04:13,376 --> 00:04:14,677
I've put my fist through a wall about it?

89
00:04:14,711 --> 00:04:15,744
No, you know, I lost count.

90
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- But you could ask Becca.
- Nice.

91
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Bring Becca into it.

92
00:04:18,648 --> 00:04:20,249
Well, why shouldn't I bring Becca into it?

93
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Isn't she the most
important part of all this?

94
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Isn't she the reason we should
be trying to fix this shit?

95
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Don't fuck with my shit, woman.

96
00:04:29,349 --> 00:04:31,817
Have I always been such an asshole?

97
00:04:31,851 --> 00:04:34,687
Different varieties of asshole.

98
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Some more pernicious than others.

99
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What the fuck happened to us?

100
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What do you mean?

101
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:44,897
We were always... we were so great.

102
00:04:44,931 --> 00:04:48,767
You know, we'd go out to
dinner every other night.

103
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I could've sworn we were
gonna grow old together.

104
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And now look at us.

105
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We're still together.

106
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Yeah. Yeah, you guys are really together.

107
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You're so together you're contemplating

108
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letting the love of your
life fuck some other guy

109
00:05:02,849 --> 00:05:04,183
for fun and profit.

110
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Hey, Marcy's her own woman, Hank.

111
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- I can't tell her what to do.
- Yeah, you can.

112
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You can fight against that shit, Runks.

113
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Why did you tell him about Stu's offer?

114
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Is nothing private, Runkle?

115
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He's my best friend.

116
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I needed his counsel.

117
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It's a unique situation.

118
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- You didn't tell Karen?
- No!

119
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She would totally frown upon that shit.

120
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Right, she would,

121
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because she's a sane and responsible adult.

122
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She always had a way of centering us.

123
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She was the best thing
that ever happened to me,

124
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and I fucked it up again
and again and again.

125
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- Hank.
- No, it's true, Marcy.

126
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You know, instead of celebrating

127
00:05:35,982 --> 00:05:39,418
the fact that I was the
luckiest guy on earth...

128
00:05:39,512 --> 00:05:40,979
I just pushed her away,

129
00:05:41,014 --> 00:05:42,781
figuring there'd always
be time to work it out.

130
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- There is time.
- No, what if there isn't?

131
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What if... what if this is it, you know?

132
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What if we ran out of time?

133
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You can't go through with this Stu thing.

134
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You'll never get over it.

135
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There's some things you
should never get over.

136
00:06:11,878 --> 00:06:14,346
That him?

137
00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:15,714
Hank.

138
00:06:15,748 --> 00:06:17,516
"Hank," what? It's a simple question.

139
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Save it for in there.

140
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I can't believe

141
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,855
I let you talk me into
humiliating myself like this.

142
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I'm out of here.

143
00:06:24,824 --> 00:06:25,958
Hey, guys.

144
00:06:25,992 --> 00:06:27,960
Welcome.

145
00:06:27,994 --> 00:06:30,295
Hi.

146
00:06:35,668 --> 00:06:37,736
Let's dive in, shall we?

147
00:06:37,770 --> 00:06:42,708
- Yeah.
- What brings you to me?

148
00:06:42,742 --> 00:06:45,310
She's having an affair.

149
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- Diving right in, indeed.
- Jesus, Hank.

150
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Well, that's why we're here, right?

151
00:06:48,882 --> 00:06:50,182
To cut through the bullshit,

152
00:06:50,216 --> 00:06:51,350
get right to the heart of the matter?

153
00:06:51,384 --> 00:06:53,218
That's what I'm trying to do.

154
00:06:53,253 --> 00:06:54,553
That's not the heart of the matter.

155
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It's the heart of the matter to me.

156
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It's... it's what matters to my heart.

157
00:06:57,991 --> 00:06:59,725
- It's the heart of my matter.
- Karen's right, Hank.

158
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Wh... why did I know

159
00:07:01,227 --> 00:07:02,895
that you were gonna side
with her immediately?

160
00:07:02,929 --> 00:07:04,763
No, no, no. No sides here.

161
00:07:04,797 --> 00:07:06,832
I'm just suggesting

162
00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:09,306
that affairs are typically a symptom

163
00:07:09,307 --> 00:07:11,207
- of a larger problem.
- Really?

164
00:07:11,211 --> 00:07:13,605
Well, it seems like a
pretty big fucking problem

165
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:14,920
in and of itself to me.

166
00:07:15,775 --> 00:07:18,410
So let's hear from Karen.

167
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Are you having an affair, Karen?

168
00:07:20,146 --> 00:07:22,581
No, I wouldn't call it that.

169
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How would you describe it?

170
00:07:24,817 --> 00:07:26,952
Um...

171
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- He's a friend.
- An emotional friend?

172
00:07:29,489 --> 00:07:30,856
I suppose.

173
00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:33,392
Holy shit, Karen. An emotional friend?

174
00:07:33,426 --> 00:07:34,927
I want an emotional friend.

175
00:07:34,961 --> 00:07:37,095
Where do I get an emotional friend?

176
00:07:37,163 --> 00:07:40,766
You had one.

177
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,968
Have you made love with him?

178
00:07:43,002 --> 00:07:44,570
No.

179
00:07:44,604 --> 00:07:48,941
But you've considered it?

180
00:07:48,975 --> 00:07:50,108
Yeah.

181
00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:52,317
I'm gonna punch a wall.

182
00:07:52,352 --> 00:07:54,319
What's the sex like between the two of you?

183
00:07:54,354 --> 00:07:57,022
- Infrequent.
- Nonexistent.

184
00:07:57,056 --> 00:07:59,358
Hank, why do you think...

185
00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:01,627
Karen has developed an emotional bond

186
00:08:01,661 --> 00:08:04,029
with another man?

187
00:08:04,063 --> 00:08:07,266
Maybe because the guy in question is...

188
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:11,536
Bill his name is... fucking dial tone.

189
00:08:11,571 --> 00:08:13,839
He thinks she's hot,
and he wants to fuck her.

190
00:08:13,873 --> 00:08:15,207
So he pretends to be interested

191
00:08:15,241 --> 00:08:16,441
in everything she's interested in

192
00:08:16,476 --> 00:08:17,876
so he can get into her knickers,

193
00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:19,544
which works, trust me.

194
00:08:19,579 --> 00:08:21,980
- You know, it's really hard...
- With Karen, it works.

195
00:08:22,015 --> 00:08:22,981
To have a meaningful conversation...

196
00:08:23,049 --> 00:08:24,283
That's how you do it.

197
00:08:24,317 --> 00:08:25,250
With someone who drinks himself

198
00:08:25,285 --> 00:08:26,852
into a stupor every night.

199
00:08:26,886 --> 00:08:28,654
I don't see what's wrong with a nightcap.

200
00:08:28,688 --> 00:08:31,290
- Are you a big drinker, Hank?
- What? Is this an intervention?

201
00:08:31,324 --> 00:08:33,392
Do you consider yourself an alcoholic?

202
00:08:33,459 --> 00:08:35,160
I thought we were here

203
00:08:35,194 --> 00:08:36,828
to talk about her emotional friend?

204
00:08:36,863 --> 00:08:39,231
And all we're doing is talking about me.

205
00:08:39,265 --> 00:08:41,533
What are you willing to
change about yourself?

206
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:43,468
- Why is this all about me?
- It's not.

207
00:08:43,503 --> 00:08:45,904
You just seem the most
defensive at the moment.

208
00:08:45,938 --> 00:08:48,540
Oh, don't smirk, Karen. It's unbecoming.

209
00:08:48,574 --> 00:08:51,176
You know what's really unbecoming?

210
00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:53,245
Is the fact that we don't talk anymore,

211
00:08:53,279 --> 00:08:55,480
the fact that you bury
yourself in your work,

212
00:08:55,515 --> 00:08:57,382
and you go out every night.

213
00:08:57,417 --> 00:08:59,184
- Drinking and flirting.
- Karen.

214
00:08:59,218 --> 00:09:01,286
And you... you come home totally wasted.

215
00:09:01,321 --> 00:09:02,688
You never, ever see your daughter.

216
00:09:02,722 --> 00:09:04,690
- I have a movie in production.
- You are...

217
00:09:04,724 --> 00:09:06,224
- It's a big fucking deal.
- So what?

218
00:09:06,292 --> 00:09:07,859
Some significant others
would be proud of that.

219
00:09:07,894 --> 00:09:09,661
Everyone's got a fucking
movie in production.

220
00:09:09,696 --> 00:09:12,064
Oh, I'm proud of that.
That's not the problem.

221
00:09:12,098 --> 00:09:13,198
So you show your pride by going out

222
00:09:13,232 --> 00:09:14,700
and finding an emotional friend.

223
00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:15,934
And you seem to want to take advantage

224
00:09:15,968 --> 00:09:18,370
of your newfound station in life,

225
00:09:18,404 --> 00:09:20,605
and you resent having a
ball and chain at home.

226
00:09:20,606 --> 00:09:21,943
No, I've never... I don't speak like that.

227
00:09:21,944 --> 00:09:23,329
- I've never put it that way.
- That's kind of what you mean.

228
00:09:23,336 --> 00:09:24,956
- No, I don't.
- But that's what you think.

229
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:27,913
Do I cross paths with
attractive women? Yes.

230
00:09:27,947 --> 00:09:30,515
Do I flirt with them? I suppose.

231
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:31,550
Do I want to fuck them?

232
00:09:31,584 --> 00:09:33,118
- Yes!
- Right?

233
00:09:33,152 --> 00:09:36,021
Welcome to the wonderful
world of being a fucking guy!

234
00:09:36,055 --> 00:09:37,055
Why is it a guy thing?

235
00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:38,390
But I don't walk around

236
00:09:38,424 --> 00:09:40,092
trying to make them emotional friends

237
00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:42,928
or considering actually
fucking them all day long.

238
00:09:42,962 --> 00:09:44,930
- You just sa... you did.
- Actually.

239
00:09:44,964 --> 00:09:47,099
Jesus Christ, that is so gross.

240
00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:48,967
I want to punch myself in the dick,

241
00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:50,535
but I'm not going to,

242
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,805
'cause that would be inappropriate.

243
00:09:58,244 --> 00:10:00,078
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, man!

244
00:10:00,113 --> 00:10:01,847
It's only a dollar, man!

245
00:10:01,881 --> 00:10:04,182
Here, I'll give you another one, you know.

246
00:10:04,217 --> 00:10:05,617
Knock it off. You know, try again.

247
00:10:05,651 --> 00:10:07,119
You don't even have to pay me back.

248
00:10:07,153 --> 00:10:09,988
Sorry. I don't know what came over me.

249
00:10:10,022 --> 00:10:12,257
Hey, you know, it's okay, I get it.

250
00:10:12,291 --> 00:10:14,960
I've done it myself many times.

251
00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:18,597
Maybe not so much swearing, though.

252
00:10:18,631 --> 00:10:22,100
- Yeah.
- Are you waiting on some news?

253
00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:26,004
- Yeah. You?
- Yeah, yeah, man. You bet.

254
00:10:26,038 --> 00:10:30,242
My wife, she's in surgery... cancer.

255
00:10:30,276 --> 00:10:31,877
We've seen the inside of this place

256
00:10:31,911 --> 00:10:33,311
a lot the last couple of years.

257
00:10:33,379 --> 00:10:35,013
I'm sorry.

258
00:10:35,047 --> 00:10:37,649
My... my lady's back there, too, somewhere.

259
00:10:37,683 --> 00:10:40,652
Well, they say waiting is the hardest part.

260
00:10:40,686 --> 00:10:44,189
Truer words have never been spoken or sung.

261
00:10:44,223 --> 00:10:46,925
- How long you been married?
- Not married.

262
00:10:46,993 --> 00:10:50,028
Just together on and off forever, really.

263
00:10:50,062 --> 00:10:52,264
We just... we weren't on the best of terms

264
00:10:52,298 --> 00:10:53,765
when this happened.

265
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,334
Hey, man, I've been married 44 years.

266
00:10:56,402 --> 00:10:58,937
And you're not always gonna
be on the best of terms.

267
00:10:58,971 --> 00:11:00,172
44 years.

268
00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:01,673
Well done, sir.

269
00:11:01,707 --> 00:11:03,608
You know... well, you know, it takes time.

270
00:11:03,643 --> 00:11:05,310
But once you get on the other side

271
00:11:05,344 --> 00:11:07,512
of all the bullshit, you realize

272
00:11:07,547 --> 00:11:10,215
that this is what it's all about all along,

273
00:11:10,249 --> 00:11:12,651
you know, having a friend to hold your hand

274
00:11:12,685 --> 00:11:14,486
while life kicks you in the ass

275
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,188
and reminds you that that body of yours

276
00:11:16,222 --> 00:11:18,990
is just on loan.

277
00:11:19,025 --> 00:11:22,294
Yeah, sometimes you see
things really clearly,

278
00:11:22,328 --> 00:11:24,563
and then just... it gets cloudy again.

279
00:11:24,597 --> 00:11:26,231
Hey, well, that's life, kid.

280
00:11:26,265 --> 00:11:28,700
I mean, if it was easy,
we wouldn't never fuck up.

281
00:11:28,734 --> 00:11:32,337
We wouldn't have any regrets,
we'd have perfect kids,

282
00:11:32,371 --> 00:11:34,873
and we'd spend every second
of every day being happy.

283
00:11:34,907 --> 00:11:36,374
Now, you know anybody like that?

284
00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:39,077
No, 'cause I sure the hell don't.

285
00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:43,849
You know, you take it easy on this thing.

286
00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:57,662
A boy called me "weird" today.

287
00:11:57,697 --> 00:11:59,097
You are weird.

288
00:11:59,131 --> 00:12:01,433
- Bad weird?
- Beautiful weird.

289
00:12:01,467 --> 00:12:03,535
And I will totally kick that boy's butt

290
00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:06,104
- if you want me to.
- No.

291
00:12:06,138 --> 00:12:08,907
- He's kind of cute.
- Gross.

292
00:12:08,941 --> 00:12:10,675
You are way too young to say such things.

293
00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:14,746
It seems like boys and girls
make the world go around.

294
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:16,281
Not only are you beautiful weird,

295
00:12:16,315 --> 00:12:18,149
but you're also wicked smart.

296
00:12:18,184 --> 00:12:21,052
I've made a pretty decent living
writing about boys and girls.

297
00:12:21,087 --> 00:12:23,688
Speaking of boys and girls...

298
00:12:23,723 --> 00:12:25,223
Yes?

299
00:12:25,291 --> 00:12:27,292
Are you and mom going to get a divorce?

300
00:12:27,326 --> 00:12:29,728
How can we get divorced?
We're not even married.

301
00:12:29,762 --> 00:12:31,162
You know what I mean.

302
00:12:31,197 --> 00:12:32,430
I do.

303
00:12:32,465 --> 00:12:34,099
Not if I can help it, baby girl.

304
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:36,101
You can help it.

305
00:12:36,135 --> 00:12:38,370
- Yeah?
- By not fighting so much.

306
00:12:38,404 --> 00:12:40,105
I'm sorry.

307
00:12:40,139 --> 00:12:41,907
But it's weird.

308
00:12:41,941 --> 00:12:44,776
Other times you guys seem like
you really love each other,

309
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:46,177
like in the movies.

310
00:12:46,212 --> 00:12:48,413
It's not like in the movies.

311
00:12:48,447 --> 00:12:49,848
What about TV?

312
00:12:49,916 --> 00:12:53,285
No, not TV or movies.

313
00:12:53,319 --> 00:12:56,588
Mommies and daddies have
their work cut out for them.

314
00:12:56,622 --> 00:12:58,924
I don't see why it's so hard.

315
00:12:58,958 --> 00:13:00,659
I'm glad you don't.

316
00:13:00,693 --> 00:13:02,994
You got plenty of time
to learn that lesson.

317
00:13:03,029 --> 00:13:07,132
I don't understand why you
guys get so mad at each other.

318
00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:10,335
How many times are you
going to punch the wall?

319
00:13:12,872 --> 00:13:15,040
I'm not going to do that anymore.

320
00:13:15,074 --> 00:13:18,143
- You promise?
- I promise.

321
00:13:18,177 --> 00:13:19,878
You know why else?

322
00:13:19,946 --> 00:13:23,148
'Cause it really hurts.

323
00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:25,150
Race you home?

324
00:13:25,184 --> 00:13:28,753
Race you home.

325
00:13:38,197 --> 00:13:41,399
Poor Hanky.

326
00:13:41,434 --> 00:13:44,970
This really puts it
all in perspective, huh?

327
00:13:45,004 --> 00:13:47,772
How do you mean?

328
00:13:47,807 --> 00:13:51,309
We've been obsessed
with all the wrong stuff.

329
00:13:51,344 --> 00:13:54,212
You know, the only thing that matters

330
00:13:54,246 --> 00:13:56,314
is that you're healthy,

331
00:13:56,382 --> 00:13:57,983
you're okay,

332
00:13:58,017 --> 00:14:00,986
and you're right here next to me right now.

333
00:14:03,022 --> 00:14:06,458
You're right, Runks, but
we got to go home sometime,

334
00:14:06,492 --> 00:14:08,193
and we're still gonna need money.

335
00:14:08,227 --> 00:14:09,694
You know what I mean?

336
00:14:09,729 --> 00:14:12,197
There has got to be a better way.

337
00:14:12,231 --> 00:14:15,200
And we'll find it, I promise.

338
00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:17,202
Okay.

339
00:14:17,236 --> 00:14:20,405
Yeah.

340
00:14:20,439 --> 00:14:23,041
This kind of thing does put
everything into perspective.

341
00:14:23,075 --> 00:14:24,876
I mean...

342
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:28,847
Why the fuck do we make
such a big deal out of sex?

343
00:14:28,881 --> 00:14:30,649
If that was you in there right now,

344
00:14:30,683 --> 00:14:33,051
I wouldn't give a shit if
you spanked your secretary

345
00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:34,686
or fucked the nanny.

346
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,388
It all just melts away.

347
00:14:36,422 --> 00:14:39,157
I only care that you're okay.

348
00:14:39,225 --> 00:14:41,726
Do you know what I mean?

349
00:14:41,761 --> 00:14:43,194
Yeah.

350
00:14:43,229 --> 00:14:46,064
I mean, if I had been more understanding

351
00:14:46,098 --> 00:14:48,333
of the fact that you got
some serious kink in you,

352
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,568
then we never would have
fallen down this rabbit hole

353
00:14:50,636 --> 00:14:52,170
- to begin with.
- Yeah, yeah.

354
00:14:52,204 --> 00:14:55,040
But I should have been
able to control myself.

355
00:14:55,074 --> 00:14:58,243
Yeah, but like it or not,
it's just the way we're wired.

356
00:14:58,277 --> 00:15:02,180
If some hot, young thing
asks you to spank her,

357
00:15:02,214 --> 00:15:03,748
you're gonna get a fucking boner.

358
00:15:03,783 --> 00:15:05,417
You're gonna fucking jerk off to it.

359
00:15:05,451 --> 00:15:09,854
It is just the law of the fucking jungle.

360
00:15:09,889 --> 00:15:12,857
I really hate that you're
making so much sense right now.

361
00:15:12,892 --> 00:15:15,794
I know. It's so annoying, right?

362
00:15:15,828 --> 00:15:18,430
I mean, like, if Stu texted me

363
00:15:18,464 --> 00:15:21,299
a picture of his ween right now,
I'd probably get a little wet.

364
00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:24,235
But that is purely out of reflex.

365
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:25,570
I didn't need that, Marcy.

366
00:15:25,604 --> 00:15:28,973
But it's true, right?

367
00:15:29,008 --> 00:15:33,778
I mean, we all have things
that trigger our arousal,

368
00:15:33,813 --> 00:15:39,084
and if we just acknowledge them
as normal and not deny them,

369
00:15:39,118 --> 00:15:43,254
then we could just move
the fuck on with our lives!

370
00:15:43,289 --> 00:15:45,190
Oh, Jesus, Runkle.

371
00:15:45,224 --> 00:15:47,092
Look alive, Runks.

372
00:16:13,586 --> 00:16:16,087
Well, that was a... that was
a really positive experience.

373
00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:17,522
I feel really good

374
00:16:17,556 --> 00:16:19,290
about the state of our
relationship right now.

375
00:16:19,325 --> 00:16:20,925
Says the guy who put
his fist through a wall.

376
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,460
Do not be changing my shit, woman.

377
00:16:22,495 --> 00:16:24,129
Oh, Hank, don't be such a child.

378
00:16:24,163 --> 00:16:25,830
Don't be such a fucking nag!

379
00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:28,933
You know what? Don't
put me in that box, okay?

380
00:16:28,968 --> 00:16:30,769
Just because you refuse to grow up,

381
00:16:30,803 --> 00:16:32,971
it does not turn me into a nag.

382
00:16:33,005 --> 00:16:35,440
God, Hank, you're so fucking selfish.

383
00:16:35,474 --> 00:16:37,942
I mean, everything revolves
around you, you know?

384
00:16:37,977 --> 00:16:40,512
It's all about what you
will do, what you won't do.

385
00:16:40,546 --> 00:16:42,213
It's... it's this is your life,

386
00:16:42,248 --> 00:16:44,048
and we're just all these
supporting characters in it.

387
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:45,283
Yeah, and look who's giving

388
00:16:45,351 --> 00:16:46,818
the performance of a lifetime right now.

389
00:16:46,852 --> 00:16:48,553
You know, I don't want to do this anymore.

390
00:16:48,587 --> 00:16:50,355
It's so fucking miserable.

391
00:16:50,389 --> 00:16:52,624
It is fucking miserable.

392
00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:04,969
Fuck me.

393
00:17:21,353 --> 00:17:23,354
You okay?

394
00:17:23,389 --> 00:17:25,190
- I'm fine.
- Sorry about that.

395
00:17:25,224 --> 00:17:27,325
Me too.

396
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,161
We could've fucking died back there, Karen.

397
00:17:30,196 --> 00:17:33,198
- Pretty much.
- 'Cause of your taste in music.

398
00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:38,036
We weren't fighting over music, Hank.

399
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:41,506
I know, but it all just
seems so silly now...

400
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:45,143
- All of it.
- I know.

401
00:17:45,211 --> 00:17:47,412
Where did we go wrong?

402
00:17:47,446 --> 00:17:50,014
We were perfect once.
I would swear to that.

403
00:17:50,049 --> 00:17:52,784
We've been in it a while. We have a child.

404
00:17:52,818 --> 00:17:54,452
We're not special.

405
00:17:54,486 --> 00:17:58,223
I mean, I know your writer's
brain wants to make us

406
00:17:58,257 --> 00:18:00,358
into some love story of
the ages or something.

407
00:18:00,426 --> 00:18:02,427
- 'Cause we are.
- Maybe, maybe.

408
00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,462
But we still need to work at it, you know,

409
00:18:04,496 --> 00:18:06,764
just like the rest of the world.

410
00:18:06,832 --> 00:18:09,734
It's not gonna figure itself out.

411
00:18:09,768 --> 00:18:12,403
We need to...

412
00:18:12,438 --> 00:18:13,905
I don't know... it's been a long time

413
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:16,040
since it was just about fiery sex.

414
00:18:16,075 --> 00:18:17,442
Yeah.

415
00:18:17,476 --> 00:18:19,944
It was never just about fiery sex, Karen.

416
00:18:24,016 --> 00:18:25,750
The sex was pretty
fiery, though, wasn't it?

417
00:18:25,784 --> 00:18:27,752
I don't want to talk about sex.

418
00:18:27,786 --> 00:18:29,587
I... I... I kind of do.

419
00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:32,257
Isn't that what we're talking
about, is a compromise?

420
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:34,893
- Shut up.
- And kiss you? Done.

421
00:18:34,927 --> 00:18:36,761
Done.

422
00:18:43,102 --> 00:18:45,270
Help.

423
00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:37,488
Hello.

424
00:19:37,523 --> 00:19:39,857
Hi... Sister?

425
00:19:39,925 --> 00:19:41,192
What brings you in?

426
00:19:41,226 --> 00:19:44,128
My wife was in a car accident.

427
00:19:44,163 --> 00:19:45,530
I'm very sorry.

428
00:19:45,564 --> 00:19:47,498
Is she going to be okay?

429
00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:51,135
Don't know... now.

430
00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:53,538
Are you a religious person?

431
00:19:53,572 --> 00:19:55,006
Not really,

432
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,508
which is weird, because I often dream

433
00:19:57,543 --> 00:19:59,043
about being in a place like this,

434
00:19:59,078 --> 00:20:01,546
but in... in real life, not so much.

435
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:05,049
Is there anything I can do for you?

436
00:20:05,084 --> 00:20:06,384
Would you like to talk?

437
00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:08,086
No, I... I'm good.

438
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,253
I was just kind of looking

439
00:20:09,288 --> 00:20:11,689
for a new place to sit and wait.

440
00:20:11,724 --> 00:20:15,760
Are you of any particular faith?

441
00:20:15,794 --> 00:20:16,995
I'm a writer.

442
00:20:17,029 --> 00:20:19,063
So I believe in sitting down,

443
00:20:19,098 --> 00:20:21,499
shutting my eyes, and hoping for the best.

444
00:20:21,533 --> 00:20:25,003
But beyond that, I... not really, no.

445
00:20:25,037 --> 00:20:26,270
Well, that sounds like

446
00:20:26,305 --> 00:20:28,106
a pretty good definition of prayer to me.

447
00:20:28,173 --> 00:20:29,907
Sister, I don't... I don't
think the man upstairs

448
00:20:29,942 --> 00:20:31,743
would be too interested in hearing from me.

449
00:20:31,777 --> 00:20:34,512
I've been a particularly wayward son.

450
00:20:34,546 --> 00:20:36,581
- Everyone says that.
- No, no, no.

451
00:20:36,615 --> 00:20:38,216
I'm a blasphemous mess.

452
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:40,685
If there's a top ten most unwanted list

453
00:20:40,719 --> 00:20:43,287
up there, I... I could very well be on it.

454
00:20:43,322 --> 00:20:45,590
Maybe so.

455
00:20:45,624 --> 00:20:49,360
But right now you just seem
like a man who loves his wife.

456
00:20:49,395 --> 00:20:51,562
I do.

457
00:20:51,597 --> 00:20:54,365
I really do. And...

458
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,502
I mean, we're not even married.
You know, we... we live in sin.

459
00:20:58,804 --> 00:21:00,204
We had a child together, broke up,

460
00:21:00,239 --> 00:21:02,607
got back together, broke up,

461
00:21:02,641 --> 00:21:04,242
lather, rinse, repeat, you know.

462
00:21:04,276 --> 00:21:06,144
You really are a wayward son.

463
00:21:06,178 --> 00:21:07,645
I told you.

464
00:21:07,679 --> 00:21:10,748
You're very pleasant, Sister...

465
00:21:10,783 --> 00:21:12,283
very agreeable.

466
00:21:12,317 --> 00:21:13,818
Yeah.

467
00:21:13,852 --> 00:21:14,952
Sit.

468
00:21:14,987 --> 00:21:16,754
Close your eyes.

469
00:21:16,789 --> 00:21:18,423
Hope for the best.

470
00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:39,577
That's what I'm talking about.

471
00:21:39,611 --> 00:21:41,646
We just made the fuck, woman.

472
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,981
No, I'm gonna amend that.

473
00:21:44,049 --> 00:21:46,784
I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say we made some love.

474
00:21:46,819 --> 00:21:49,253
And you know how much I hate that phrase.

475
00:21:49,288 --> 00:21:51,022
But we made that shit.

476
00:21:51,056 --> 00:21:53,758
We made that shit right here
in our own little private Idaho

477
00:21:53,792 --> 00:21:56,060
of sin and sex juices and...

478
00:21:56,095 --> 00:21:57,662
Okay, are you finished?

479
00:21:57,696 --> 00:21:58,996
I could go on for hours.

480
00:21:59,031 --> 00:22:01,299
I've just started.

481
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,468
Do you think it's possible?

482
00:22:03,502 --> 00:22:04,869
To go again?

483
00:22:04,903 --> 00:22:07,872
Yeah, just... just give
me five minutes or...

484
00:22:07,906 --> 00:22:09,273
Four.

485
00:22:09,308 --> 00:22:11,042
No, actually, I'm ready to go now.

486
00:22:11,076 --> 00:22:12,510
- Let's do...
- No, no, no.

487
00:22:12,544 --> 00:22:15,346
Do you think it's possible, you know,

488
00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:18,149
happily ever after?

489
00:22:18,183 --> 00:22:19,951
Yeah, baby.

490
00:22:19,985 --> 00:22:21,953
Just think.

491
00:22:21,987 --> 00:22:24,655
We got to bottle this
feeling and bust it out

492
00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:27,825
every time things get a little cloudy.

493
00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:29,794
Yeah, 'cause that really works, right?

494
00:22:29,828 --> 00:22:32,396
Couples who have great sex...

495
00:22:32,431 --> 00:22:35,032
they always make it to the finish line.

496
00:22:35,067 --> 00:22:37,135
Do they?

497
00:22:37,169 --> 00:22:38,736
We're gonna make it, Karen.

498
00:22:38,770 --> 00:22:40,705
How do you know?

499
00:22:42,808 --> 00:22:44,976
'Cause I love you to death.

500
00:22:45,010 --> 00:22:47,912
- Really?
- I'm sure of that.

501
00:22:50,916 --> 00:22:53,618
I love you too.

502
00:22:56,455 --> 00:22:58,523
Come here.

503
00:23:03,729 --> 00:23:05,663
You ready?

504
00:23:05,697 --> 00:23:08,232
Yes.

505
00:23:12,671 --> 00:23:16,007
- Excuse me, Doctor.
- Yeah, in a minute.

506
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:20,778
Hey, hey.

507
00:23:20,812 --> 00:23:22,346
She has a concussion.

508
00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:23,948
Oh, Jesus!

509
00:23:23,982 --> 00:23:25,683
But there's no internal bleeding.

510
00:23:25,751 --> 00:23:28,085
She'll be here for a couple days, but...

511
00:23:28,153 --> 00:23:30,221
she's a very lucky girl.

512
00:23:30,255 --> 00:23:32,356
Oh, my God.

513
00:23:32,391 --> 00:23:34,225
Thank God. Thank God.

514
00:23:34,259 --> 00:23:35,359
Can we see her?

515
00:23:35,394 --> 00:23:37,028
One of you can go back.

516
00:23:37,062 --> 00:23:38,729
Are you the husband?

517
00:23:38,764 --> 00:23:42,066
Yes. Yes, he's the fucking husband.

518
00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:44,769
Go see your fucking wife.

519
00:23:44,803 --> 00:23:47,104
This way.

520
00:23:47,172 --> 00:23:50,608
Oh, my God.

521
00:23:50,642 --> 00:23:52,577
Honey.

522
00:23:52,611 --> 00:23:54,779
Oh.

523
00:23:55,981 --> 00:23:57,882
Oh. No.

524
00:23:57,916 --> 00:23:59,850
- Not here.
- Not here? Okay. Okay.

525
00:24:30,048 --> 00:24:33,751
This doesn't change anything, you know.

526
00:24:33,819 --> 00:24:37,188
I'm still pissed at you.

527
00:24:37,222 --> 00:24:39,624
I wouldn't have it any other way.

528
00:25:10,489 --> 00:25:12,857
Hello, sir.

529
00:25:12,891 --> 00:25:14,392
Finally.

530
00:25:14,426 --> 00:25:16,594
I interviewed a new assistant today.

531
00:25:16,628 --> 00:25:17,995
What was wrong with the old one?

532
00:25:18,030 --> 00:25:19,463
Well, the agency caught him

533
00:25:19,498 --> 00:25:21,899
looking at porn on the computer.

534
00:25:21,933 --> 00:25:23,334
- Oh, gross.
- Oh, is that a crime now?

535
00:25:23,368 --> 00:25:24,902
Maybe they were afraid

536
00:25:24,936 --> 00:25:26,637
he was beating off at work... I don't know.

537
00:25:26,672 --> 00:25:28,839
Oh, that's fucking foul, Charlie.

538
00:25:28,874 --> 00:25:31,709
Jerking off at work... save
that shit for the shower.

539
00:25:31,743 --> 00:25:34,378
Ah, I do not like to
stand up and masturbate.

540
00:25:36,081 --> 00:25:37,481
Looking down, seeing my own belly,

541
00:25:37,516 --> 00:25:39,216
it takes me out of the game.

542
00:25:39,251 --> 00:25:40,818
Looking down and seeing
your great white underbelly

543
00:25:40,852 --> 00:25:42,153
would take me out of the game too.

544
00:25:42,187 --> 00:25:43,587
It's understandable.

545
00:25:43,622 --> 00:25:46,424
And yet, I love to sit down when I pee.

546
00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:48,225
What do you think about that, Karen?

547
00:25:48,260 --> 00:25:50,561
Hey, hey, guy or girl assistant?

548
00:25:50,595 --> 00:25:52,496
Ooh, gi-i-i-rl.

549
00:25:52,531 --> 00:25:55,399
She's got funky hair,
Hank, and tattoos all over.

550
00:25:55,434 --> 00:25:57,835
Hey, hey, hey, hey, you be careful, Runks.

551
00:25:57,869 --> 00:25:59,270
Don't go dipping your
helmet into that shit.

552
00:25:59,304 --> 00:26:00,338
I'll bite it off.

553
00:26:00,372 --> 00:26:02,073
Trust me, I will.

554
00:26:02,107 --> 00:26:04,408
And you can't afford to
lose an inch off that thing.

555
00:26:04,443 --> 00:26:06,744
I trust you, Marcella.

556
00:26:06,778 --> 00:26:08,846
Okay.

557
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,614
Hey, we've been trying to get you guys

558
00:26:10,649 --> 00:26:12,283
out on the town for weeks.

559
00:26:12,317 --> 00:26:13,918
What gives? Why now? Why?

560
00:26:13,952 --> 00:26:17,054
Hello? Hello?

561
00:26:17,089 --> 00:26:20,725
Nothing. Just some days
you see everything clearly.

562
00:26:20,759 --> 00:26:22,526
We almost died today.

563
00:26:22,561 --> 00:26:25,062
And then we went home and
fucked each other's brains out,

564
00:26:25,130 --> 00:26:26,864
which put us in a pretty good mood.

565
00:26:26,932 --> 00:26:29,033
And gave us an appetite.

566
00:26:29,067 --> 00:26:31,669
How many times a week do you guys fuck?

567
00:26:31,737 --> 00:26:33,971
Because Runks and I are starting to slump.

568
00:26:34,005 --> 00:26:35,039
Hey, now.

569
00:26:35,073 --> 00:26:36,707
What? It's true.

570
00:26:36,742 --> 00:26:38,309
Karenina, you don't think

571
00:26:38,343 --> 00:26:40,044
I'm starting to go
through the change, do you?

572
00:26:40,078 --> 00:26:40,643
- Because...
- Starting?

573
00:26:40,645 --> 00:26:43,214
- I still get really wet.
- Yes, yes, you do.

574
00:26:43,248 --> 00:26:45,316
I think that's what makes me pop so fast.

575
00:26:45,350 --> 00:26:47,985
You see, this is why we don't go out,

576
00:26:48,019 --> 00:26:50,454
because every time we
do, Charlie says something

577
00:26:50,489 --> 00:26:52,291
that makes me throw up in my mouth.

578
00:26:52,337 --> 00:26:53,704
She started it.

579
00:26:53,739 --> 00:26:55,606
Hey, well, try living with that shit

580
00:26:55,641 --> 00:26:58,242
try living with that shit. I didn't.

581
00:26:58,277 --> 00:27:00,845
You think we'll be doing
this years from now?

582
00:27:00,939 --> 00:27:02,473
Why wouldn't we be?

583
00:27:02,508 --> 00:27:04,876
We're the best friends
in the whole wide world.

584
00:27:04,910 --> 00:27:07,812
We have got tons more
business to do, my friend.

585
00:27:07,846 --> 00:27:10,248
We are not done taking this town by storm.

586
00:27:10,315 --> 00:27:12,850
I'm not sure if this town
is done taking us by storm...

587
00:27:12,885 --> 00:27:14,218
From behind...

588
00:27:14,253 --> 00:27:17,155
- Always.
- Not so much as a reach-around.

589
00:27:17,189 --> 00:27:19,557
Boys and girls...

590
00:27:19,591 --> 00:27:21,058
Oh, we're cheers-ing.

591
00:27:21,153 --> 00:27:23,054
To hard cocks, wet pussies,

592
00:27:23,088 --> 00:27:26,424
bald heads, smurfs, and
weathering the storm.

593
00:27:27,859 --> 00:27:29,160
L'Chaim.

594
00:27:29,194 --> 00:27:30,928
- Are you Jewish?
- Gesundheit.

595
00:27:30,963 --> 00:27:32,797
I'm not sure if it's the whiskey talking,

596
00:27:32,831 --> 00:27:34,799
but I fucking love you guys.

597
00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:38,236
I fucking love you too.

598
00:27:38,270 --> 00:27:39,604
Especially you.

599
00:27:43,775 --> 00:27:46,844
- They're doing it.
- Aw. You should kiss me now.

600
00:27:46,878 --> 00:27:48,946
- We're kissing.
- So we have to.

601
00:27:51,883 --> 00:27:54,685
That's good salad dressing.

602
00:27:59,410 --> 00:28:00,410
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