1
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Woo-hoo!

2
00:00:01,558 --> 00:00:03,905
<i>Previously on Californication...</i>

3
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- You'd seriously pay...
- A million dollars to be inside of you again.

4
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-  That is fucked up.
- I know!

5
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- You're not gonna do it, are you?
- I don't know yet.

6
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We could really use the cash.

7
00:00:14,021 --> 00:00:15,663
I'm on my way. How about you?

8
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I will be. Shortly.

9
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- 30 minutes or less.
- Oh, Hank.

10
00:00:19,483 --> 00:00:21,988
I don't want to wait
for what already promises

11
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to be a pretty unpleasant conversation.

12
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I just got to see you smile,

13
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before you go home, okay? One time?

14
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I can't make any promises.

15
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A drink with Karen...
what's that all about?

16
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Everything is so fucking crazy right now,

17
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I don't feel like I can make
the right move to save my life,

18
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- and she centers me.

19
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Hank, shut up and listen to me.

20
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I got to try to get
through this without crying.

21
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I'm... at the hospital.

22
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Karen was in a car accident.

23
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♪ It's a little past suppertime ♪

24
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♪ I'm still out on the porch steps ♪

25
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:10,100
♪ sittin' on my behind ♪

26
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♪ waitin' for you ♪

27
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♪ I'm not tryin' to fake it ♪

28
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♪ and I ain't the one to blame ♪

29
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♪ no, there's no one home ♪

30
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♪ in my house of pain ♪

31
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♪ I didn't write these pages ♪

32
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♪ and my script's been... ♪

33
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What the fuck is wrong with me?

34
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:37,060
Why couldn't I have been on time?

35
00:01:37,095 --> 00:01:38,795
Don't blame yourself, Hanky.

36
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Why not?

37
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She was going to meet me.

38
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Yeah, the guy was drunk.
He came out of nowhere.

39
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It could have happened anytime, anyplace.

40
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Yeah, you know how many times

41
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I've driven around Venice fucked up?

42
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It could've been me behind the wheel.

43
00:01:51,309 --> 00:01:52,643
Yeah, maybe so.

44
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:54,378
But that shit doesn't matter now.

45
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This is where we are,
and she's gonna be okay.

46
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You don't know that.

47
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[Breathing heavily] How is she?

48
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Some fucking drunk broadsided her.

49
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She got pretty knocked around.

50
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She's in and out of consciousness.

51
00:02:06,591 --> 00:02:09,093
There might be some internal bleeding.

52
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[Breathing heavily] What can I do?

53
00:02:11,563 --> 00:02:13,797
You can stop crying, for one.

54
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I can do that.

55
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[Breathes shakily] I'm doing that...

56
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Right now.

57
00:02:20,004 --> 00:02:23,340
Okay, and you maybe
could donate some blood.

58
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She may need some.

59
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[Sighs]

60
00:02:27,145 --> 00:02:28,746
Is there something else...

61
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I can do?

62
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Historically, I've been known

63
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to get a little bit woozy

64
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when it comes to the giving of blood.

65
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Maybe I won't be the right type.

66
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[Inhales sharply] Ow!

67
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I'm not a fucking pincushion, woman!

68
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I didn't go in yet.

69
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Really?

70
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You got to be kidding me.

71
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It seemed like I felt every
inch of that thing going in.

72
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- Now. Now it's going in.
- [Screaming]

73
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Ha!

74
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You're a sensitive one, ain't ya?

75
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He's a fucking ninny, is what he is.

76
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Woman was a fucking butcher, Hank.

77
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Hey, how are you doing, buddy?

78
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You hanging in there?

79
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'Cause I'm here to help.

80
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I feel a little woozy, though.

81
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[Seagulls crying]

82
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[Indistinct chatter]

83
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[Door opens]

84
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You know, fuck this!

85
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Fuck, Karen. What are you doing?

86
00:03:35,647 --> 00:03:38,182
Why are you being such
an asshole about this?

87
00:03:38,216 --> 00:03:39,516
I'm actually trying very hard

88
00:03:39,551 --> 00:03:41,385
to be the opposite of an asshole.

89
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Well, you know what? You're
not doing a very good job.

90
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You're the one who brought it up,

91
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about me being a fucking asshole.

92
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Yeah, well, because you're making it

93
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so fucking obvious that
you don't want to go.

94
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Oh, really? How can you tell?

95
00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:53,530
Is it because I've said
it out loud many times?

96
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Yet here I am, going
where I don't want to go.

97
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You know, don't do me any favors, okay?

98
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Because it's just our entire
fucking future at stake.

99
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Jesus Christ, with the drama, Karen.

100
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Do you know how many times

101
00:04:02,574 --> 00:04:04,007
I've had to reschedule this appointment?

102
00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:05,342
Do you know how many times

103
00:04:05,376 --> 00:04:06,677
I've put my fist through a wall about it?

104
00:04:06,711 --> 00:04:07,744
No, you know, I lost count.

105
00:04:07,779 --> 00:04:09,046
- But you could ask Becca.
- Nice.

106
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,614
Bring Becca into it.

107
00:04:10,648 --> 00:04:12,249
Well, why shouldn't I bring Becca into it?

108
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Isn't she the most
important part of all this?

109
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Isn't she the reason we should
be trying to fix this shit?

110
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Don't fuck with my shit, woman.

111
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:20,680
♪ Having fun in the warm California sun ♪

112
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Have I always been such an asshole?

113
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Different varieties of asshole.

114
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Some more pernicious than others.

115
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What the fuck happened to us?

116
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What do you mean?

117
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We were always... we were so great.

118
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You know, we'd go out to
dinner every other night.

119
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I could've sworn we were
gonna grow old together.

120
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And now look at us.

121
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We're still together.

122
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Yeah. Yeah, you guys are really together.

123
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You're so together you're contemplating

124
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letting the love of your
life fuck some other guy

125
00:04:54,849 --> 00:04:56,183
for fun and profit.

126
00:04:56,217 --> 00:04:58,752
Hey, Marcy's her own woman, Hank.

127
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- I can't tell her what to do.
- Yeah, you can.

128
00:05:00,221 --> 00:05:02,222
You can fight against that shit, Runks.

129
00:05:02,256 --> 00:05:03,924
Why did you tell him about Stu's offer?

130
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:05,225
Is nothing private, Runkle?

131
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He's my best friend.

132
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I needed his counsel.

133
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It's a unique situation.

134
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- You didn't tell Karen?
- No!

135
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She would totally frown upon that shit.

136
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Right, she would,

137
00:05:15,703 --> 00:05:18,705
because she's a sane and responsible adult.

138
00:05:18,740 --> 00:05:20,374
She always had a way of centering us.

139
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She was the best thing
that ever happened to me,

140
00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:23,443
and I fucked it up again
and again and again.

141
00:05:23,478 --> 00:05:26,279
- Hank.
- No, it's true, Marcy.

142
00:05:26,314 --> 00:05:27,948
You know, instead of celebrating

143
00:05:27,982 --> 00:05:31,418
the fact that I was the
luckiest guy on earth...

144
00:05:31,512 --> 00:05:32,979
I just pushed her away,

145
00:05:33,014 --> 00:05:34,781
figuring there'd always
be time to work it out.

146
00:05:34,849 --> 00:05:36,950
- There is time.
- No, what if there isn't?

147
00:05:36,984 --> 00:05:38,618
What if... what if this is it, you know?

148
00:05:38,653 --> 00:05:41,655
What if we ran out of time?

149
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:44,858
You can't go through with this Stu thing.

150
00:05:44,892 --> 00:05:47,360
You'll never get over it.

151
00:05:47,395 --> 00:05:52,165
There's some things you
should never get over.

152
00:05:56,704 --> 00:06:01,174
[Water bubbling]

153
00:06:03,878 --> 00:06:06,346
That him?

154
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,714
Hank.

155
00:06:07,748 --> 00:06:09,516
"Hank," what? It's a simple question.

156
00:06:09,550 --> 00:06:11,118
Save it for in there.

157
00:06:11,152 --> 00:06:12,886
[Sighs] I can't believe

158
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,855
I let you talk me into
humiliating myself like this.

159
00:06:14,889 --> 00:06:16,790
I'm out of here.

160
00:06:16,824 --> 00:06:17,958
Hey, guys.

161
00:06:17,992 --> 00:06:19,960
Welcome.

162
00:06:19,994 --> 00:06:22,295
Hi.

163
00:06:27,668 --> 00:06:29,736
Let's dive in, shall we? [Door closes]

164
00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:34,708
- Yeah.
- What brings you to me?

165
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:37,310
She's having an affair.

166
00:06:37,345 --> 00:06:39,312
- Diving right in, indeed.
- Jesus, Hank.

167
00:06:39,347 --> 00:06:40,847
Well, that's why we're here, right?

168
00:06:40,882 --> 00:06:42,182
To cut through the bullshit,

169
00:06:42,216 --> 00:06:43,350
get right to the heart of the matter?

170
00:06:43,384 --> 00:06:45,218
That's what I'm trying to do.

171
00:06:45,253 --> 00:06:46,553
That's not the heart of the matter.

172
00:06:46,587 --> 00:06:48,021
It's the heart of the matter to me.

173
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It's... it's what matters to my heart.

174
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- It's the heart of my matter.
- Karen's right, Hank.

175
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,193
Wh... why did I know

176
00:06:53,227 --> 00:06:54,895
that you were gonna side
with her immediately?

177
00:06:54,929 --> 00:06:56,763
No, no, no. No sides here.

178
00:06:56,797 --> 00:06:58,832
I'm just suggesting

179
00:06:58,866 --> 00:07:01,306
that affairs are typically a symptom

180
00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:03,207
- of a larger problem.
- Really?

181
00:07:03,211 --> 00:07:05,605
Well, it seems like a
pretty big fucking problem

182
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:06,920
in and of itself to me.

183
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,410
So let's hear from Karen.

184
00:07:10,444 --> 00:07:12,078
Are you having an affair, Karen?

185
00:07:12,146 --> 00:07:14,581
No, I wouldn't call it that.

186
00:07:14,615 --> 00:07:16,783
How would you describe it?

187
00:07:16,817 --> 00:07:18,952
Um...

188
00:07:18,986 --> 00:07:21,454
- He's a friend.
- An emotional friend?

189
00:07:21,489 --> 00:07:22,856
I suppose.

190
00:07:22,890 --> 00:07:25,392
Holy shit, Karen. An emotional friend?

191
00:07:25,426 --> 00:07:26,927
I want an emotional friend.

192
00:07:26,961 --> 00:07:29,095
Where do I get an emotional friend?

193
00:07:29,163 --> 00:07:32,766
You had one.

194
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,968
Have you made love with him?

195
00:07:35,002 --> 00:07:36,570
No.

196
00:07:36,604 --> 00:07:40,941
But you've considered it?

197
00:07:40,975 --> 00:07:42,108
Yeah.

198
00:07:42,183 --> 00:07:44,317
I'm gonna punch a wall.

199
00:07:44,352 --> 00:07:46,319
What's the sex like between the two of you?

200
00:07:46,354 --> 00:07:49,022
- Infrequent.
- Nonexistent.

201
00:07:49,056 --> 00:07:51,358
Hank, why do you think...

202
00:07:51,392 --> 00:07:53,627
Karen has developed an emotional bond

203
00:07:53,661 --> 00:07:56,029
with another man?

204
00:07:56,063 --> 00:07:59,266
Maybe because the guy in question is...

205
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:03,536
Bill his name is... fucking dial tone.

206
00:08:03,571 --> 00:08:05,839
He thinks she's hot,
and he wants to fuck her.

207
00:08:05,873 --> 00:08:07,207
So he pretends to be interested

208
00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:08,441
in everything she's interested in

209
00:08:08,476 --> 00:08:09,876
so he can get into her knickers,

210
00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:11,544
which works, trust me.

211
00:08:11,579 --> 00:08:13,980
- You know, it's really hard...
- With Karen, it works.

212
00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:14,981
To have a meaningful conversation...

213
00:08:15,049 --> 00:08:16,283
That's how you do it.

214
00:08:16,317 --> 00:08:17,250
With someone who drinks himself

215
00:08:17,285 --> 00:08:18,852
into a stupor every night.

216
00:08:18,886 --> 00:08:20,654
I don't see what's wrong with a nightcap.

217
00:08:20,688 --> 00:08:23,290
- Are you a big drinker, Hank?
- What? Is this an intervention?

218
00:08:23,324 --> 00:08:25,392
Do you consider yourself an alcoholic?

219
00:08:25,459 --> 00:08:27,160
I thought we were here

220
00:08:27,194 --> 00:08:28,828
to talk about her emotional friend?

221
00:08:28,863 --> 00:08:31,231
And all we're doing is talking about me.

222
00:08:31,265 --> 00:08:33,533
What are you willing to
change about yourself?

223
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,468
- Why is this all about me?
- It's not.

224
00:08:35,503 --> 00:08:37,904
You just seem the most
defensive at the moment.

225
00:08:37,938 --> 00:08:40,540
Oh, don't smirk, Karen. It's unbecoming.

226
00:08:40,574 --> 00:08:43,176
You know what's really unbecoming?

227
00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:45,245
Is the fact that we don't talk anymore,

228
00:08:45,279 --> 00:08:47,480
the fact that you bury
yourself in your work,

229
00:08:47,515 --> 00:08:49,382
and you go out every night.

230
00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,184
- Drinking and flirting.
- Karen.

231
00:08:51,218 --> 00:08:53,286
And you... you come home totally wasted.

232
00:08:53,321 --> 00:08:54,688
You never, ever see your daughter.

233
00:08:54,722 --> 00:08:56,690
- I have a movie in production.
- You are...

234
00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:58,224
- It's a big fucking deal.
- So what?

235
00:08:58,292 --> 00:08:59,859
Some significant others
would be proud of that.

236
00:08:59,894 --> 00:09:01,661
Everyone's got a fucking
movie in production.

237
00:09:01,696 --> 00:09:04,064
Oh, I'm proud of that.
That's not the problem.

238
00:09:04,098 --> 00:09:05,198
So you show your pride by going out

239
00:09:05,232 --> 00:09:06,700
and finding an emotional friend.

240
00:09:06,734 --> 00:09:07,934
And you seem to want to take advantage

241
00:09:07,968 --> 00:09:10,370
of your newfound station in life,

242
00:09:10,404 --> 00:09:12,605
and you resent having a
ball and chain at home.

243
00:09:12,606 --> 00:09:13,943
No, I've never... I don't speak like that.

244
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,329
- I've never put it that way.
- That's kind of what you mean.

245
00:09:15,336 --> 00:09:16,956
- No, I don't.
- But that's what you think.

246
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,913
Do I cross paths with
attractive women? Yes.

247
00:09:19,947 --> 00:09:22,515
Do I flirt with them? I suppose.

248
00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:23,550
Do I want to fuck them?

249
00:09:23,584 --> 00:09:25,118
- Yes!
- Right?

250
00:09:25,152 --> 00:09:28,021
Welcome to the wonderful
world of being a fucking guy!

251
00:09:28,055 --> 00:09:29,055
Why is it a guy thing?

252
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:30,390
But I don't walk around

253
00:09:30,424 --> 00:09:32,092
trying to make them emotional friends

254
00:09:32,126 --> 00:09:34,928
or considering actually
fucking them all day long.

255
00:09:34,962 --> 00:09:36,930
- You just sa... you did.
- Actually.

256
00:09:36,964 --> 00:09:39,099
Jesus Christ, that is so gross.

257
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,967
I want to punch myself in the dick,

258
00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:42,535
but I'm not going to,

259
00:09:42,570 --> 00:09:45,805
'cause that would be inappropriate.

260
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:46,773
[Slams wall]

261
00:09:46,807 --> 00:09:50,210
[Wild rock music]

262
00:09:50,244 --> 00:09:52,078
- [Banging on machine]
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, man!

263
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,847
It's only a dollar, man!

264
00:09:53,881 --> 00:09:56,182
Here, I'll give you another one, you know.

265
00:09:56,217 --> 00:09:57,617
Knock it off. You know, try again.

266
00:09:57,651 --> 00:09:59,119
You don't even have to pay me back.

267
00:09:59,153 --> 00:10:01,988
Sorry. I don't know what came over me.

268
00:10:02,022 --> 00:10:04,257
Hey, you know, it's okay, I get it.

269
00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:06,960
I've done it myself many times.

270
00:10:06,994 --> 00:10:10,597
Maybe not so much swearing, though.

271
00:10:10,631 --> 00:10:14,100
- Yeah.
- Are you waiting on some news?

272
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:18,004
- Yeah. You?
- Yeah, yeah, man. You bet.

273
00:10:18,038 --> 00:10:22,242
[Sighs] My wife, she's
in surgery... cancer.

274
00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:23,877
We've seen the inside of this place

275
00:10:23,911 --> 00:10:25,311
a lot the last couple of years.

276
00:10:25,379 --> 00:10:27,013
I'm sorry.

277
00:10:27,047 --> 00:10:29,649
My... my lady's back there, too, somewhere.

278
00:10:29,683 --> 00:10:32,652
Well, they say waiting is the hardest part.

279
00:10:32,686 --> 00:10:36,189
Truer words have never been spoken or sung.

280
00:10:36,223 --> 00:10:38,925
- How long you been married?
- Not married.

281
00:10:38,993 --> 00:10:42,028
Just together on and off forever, really.

282
00:10:42,062 --> 00:10:44,264
We just... we weren't on the best of terms

283
00:10:44,298 --> 00:10:45,765
when this happened.

284
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,334
Hey, man, I've been married 44 years.

285
00:10:48,402 --> 00:10:50,937
And you're not always gonna
be on the best of terms.

286
00:10:50,971 --> 00:10:52,172
44 years.

287
00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:53,673
Well done, sir.

288
00:10:53,707 --> 00:10:55,608
You know... well, you know, it takes time.

289
00:10:55,643 --> 00:10:57,310
But once you get on the other side

290
00:10:57,344 --> 00:10:59,512
of all the bullshit, you realize

291
00:10:59,547 --> 00:11:02,215
that this is what it's all about all along,

292
00:11:02,249 --> 00:11:04,651
you know, having a friend to hold your hand

293
00:11:04,685 --> 00:11:06,486
while life kicks you in the ass

294
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,188
and reminds you that that body of yours

295
00:11:08,222 --> 00:11:10,990
is just on loan.

296
00:11:11,025 --> 00:11:14,294
Yeah, sometimes you see
things really clearly,

297
00:11:14,328 --> 00:11:16,563
and then just... it gets cloudy again.

298
00:11:16,597 --> 00:11:18,231
Hey, well, that's life, kid.

299
00:11:18,265 --> 00:11:20,700
I mean, if it was easy,
we wouldn't never fuck up.

300
00:11:20,734 --> 00:11:24,337
We wouldn't have any regrets,
we'd have perfect kids,

301
00:11:24,371 --> 00:11:26,873
and we'd spend every second
of every day being happy.

302
00:11:26,907 --> 00:11:28,374
Now, you know anybody like that?

303
00:11:28,442 --> 00:11:31,077
No, 'cause I sure the hell don't.

304
00:11:31,111 --> 00:11:35,849
You know, you take it easy on this thing.

305
00:11:39,553 --> 00:11:42,655
[Cell phone beeps]

306
00:11:42,690 --> 00:11:45,758
[Line trilling]

307
00:11:47,061 --> 00:11:49,662
A boy called me "weird" today.

308
00:11:49,697 --> 00:11:51,097
You are weird.

309
00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:53,433
- Bad weird?
- Beautiful weird.

310
00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:55,535
And I will totally kick that boy's butt

311
00:11:55,569 --> 00:11:58,104
- if you want me to.
- No.

312
00:11:58,138 --> 00:12:00,907
- He's kind of cute.
- Gross.

313
00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,675
You are way too young to say such things.

314
00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:06,746
It seems like boys and girls
make the world go around.

315
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:08,281
Not only are you beautiful weird,

316
00:12:08,315 --> 00:12:10,149
but you're also wicked smart.

317
00:12:10,184 --> 00:12:13,052
I've made a pretty decent living
writing about boys and girls.

318
00:12:13,087 --> 00:12:15,688
Speaking of boys and girls...

319
00:12:15,723 --> 00:12:17,223
Yes?

320
00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:19,292
Are you and mom going to get a divorce?

321
00:12:19,326 --> 00:12:21,728
How can we get divorced?
We're not even married.

322
00:12:21,762 --> 00:12:23,162
[Chuckles] You know what I mean.

323
00:12:23,197 --> 00:12:24,430
I do.

324
00:12:24,465 --> 00:12:26,099
Not if I can help it, baby girl.

325
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:28,101
You can help it.

326
00:12:28,135 --> 00:12:30,370
- Yeah?
- By not fighting so much.

327
00:12:30,404 --> 00:12:32,105
I'm sorry.

328
00:12:32,139 --> 00:12:33,907
But it's weird.

329
00:12:33,941 --> 00:12:36,776
Other times you guys seem like
you really love each other,

330
00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:38,177
like in the movies.

331
00:12:38,212 --> 00:12:40,413
It's not like in the movies.

332
00:12:40,447 --> 00:12:41,848
What about TV?

333
00:12:41,916 --> 00:12:45,285
No, not TV or movies.

334
00:12:45,319 --> 00:12:48,588
Mommies and daddies have
their work cut out for them.

335
00:12:48,622 --> 00:12:50,924
I don't see why it's so hard.

336
00:12:50,958 --> 00:12:52,659
I'm glad you don't.

337
00:12:52,693 --> 00:12:54,994
You got plenty of time
to learn that lesson.

338
00:12:55,029 --> 00:12:59,132
I don't understand why you
guys get so mad at each other.

339
00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:02,335
How many times are you
going to punch the wall?

340
00:13:04,872 --> 00:13:07,040
I'm not going to do that anymore.

341
00:13:07,074 --> 00:13:10,143
- You promise?
- I promise.

342
00:13:10,177 --> 00:13:11,878
You know why else?

343
00:13:11,946 --> 00:13:15,148
'Cause it really hurts.

344
00:13:15,182 --> 00:13:17,150
Race you home?

345
00:13:17,184 --> 00:13:20,753
Race you home.

346
00:13:28,162 --> 00:13:30,163
[Yawns]

347
00:13:30,197 --> 00:13:33,399
[Sighs] Poor Hanky.

348
00:13:33,434 --> 00:13:36,970
This really puts it
all in perspective, huh?

349
00:13:37,004 --> 00:13:39,772
How do you mean?

350
00:13:39,807 --> 00:13:43,309
We've been obsessed
with all the wrong stuff.

351
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:46,212
You know, the only thing that matters

352
00:13:46,246 --> 00:13:48,314
is that you're healthy,

353
00:13:48,382 --> 00:13:49,983
you're okay,

354
00:13:50,017 --> 00:13:52,986
and you're right here next to me right now.

355
00:13:55,022 --> 00:13:58,458
You're right, Runks, but
we got to go home sometime,

356
00:13:58,492 --> 00:14:00,193
and we're still gonna need money.

357
00:14:00,227 --> 00:14:01,694
You know what I mean?

358
00:14:01,729 --> 00:14:04,197
There has got to be a better way.

359
00:14:04,231 --> 00:14:07,200
And we'll find it, I promise.

360
00:14:07,234 --> 00:14:09,202
Okay.

361
00:14:09,236 --> 00:14:12,405
Yeah. [Sighs]

362
00:14:12,439 --> 00:14:15,041
This kind of thing does put
everything into perspective.

363
00:14:15,075 --> 00:14:16,876
I mean...

364
00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:20,847
Why the fuck do we make
such a big deal out of sex?

365
00:14:20,881 --> 00:14:22,649
If that was you in there right now,

366
00:14:22,683 --> 00:14:25,051
I wouldn't give a shit if
you spanked your secretary

367
00:14:25,085 --> 00:14:26,686
or fucked the nanny.

368
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,388
It all just melts away.

369
00:14:28,422 --> 00:14:31,157
I only care that you're okay.

370
00:14:31,225 --> 00:14:33,726
Do you know what I mean?

371
00:14:33,761 --> 00:14:35,194
Yeah.

372
00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:38,064
I mean, if I had been more understanding

373
00:14:38,098 --> 00:14:40,333
of the fact that you got
some serious kink in you,

374
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:42,568
then we never would have
fallen down this rabbit hole

375
00:14:42,636 --> 00:14:44,170
- to begin with.
- Yeah, yeah.

376
00:14:44,204 --> 00:14:47,040
But I should have been
able to control myself.

377
00:14:47,074 --> 00:14:50,243
Yeah, but like it or not,
it's just the way we're wired.

378
00:14:50,277 --> 00:14:54,180
If some hot, young thing
asks you to spank her,

379
00:14:54,214 --> 00:14:55,748
you're gonna get a fucking boner.

380
00:14:55,783 --> 00:14:57,417
You're gonna fucking jerk off to it.

381
00:14:57,451 --> 00:15:01,854
It is just the law of the fucking jungle.

382
00:15:01,889 --> 00:15:04,857
I really hate that you're
making so much sense right now.

383
00:15:04,892 --> 00:15:07,794
I know. It's so annoying, right?

384
00:15:07,828 --> 00:15:10,430
I mean, like, if Stu texted me

385
00:15:10,464 --> 00:15:13,299
a picture of his ween right now,
I'd probably get a little wet.

386
00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:16,235
But that is purely out of reflex.

387
00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:17,570
I didn't need that, Marcy.

388
00:15:17,604 --> 00:15:20,973
[Sighs] But it's true, right?

389
00:15:21,008 --> 00:15:25,778
I mean, we all have things
that trigger our arousal,

390
00:15:25,813 --> 00:15:31,084
and if we just acknowledge them
as normal and not deny them,

391
00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:35,254
then we could just move
the fuck on with our lives!

392
00:15:35,289 --> 00:15:37,190
Oh, Jesus, Runkle.

393
00:15:37,224 --> 00:15:39,092
Look alive, Runks.

394
00:15:48,302 --> 00:15:51,838
[Tense music]

395
00:15:51,872 --> 00:15:59,112
♪ ♪

396
00:16:05,586 --> 00:16:08,087
Well, that was a... that was
a really positive experience.

397
00:16:08,122 --> 00:16:09,522
I feel really good

398
00:16:09,556 --> 00:16:11,290
about the state of our
relationship right now.

399
00:16:11,325 --> 00:16:12,925
Says the guy who put
his fist through a wall.

400
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,460
Do not be changing my shit, woman.

401
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,129
Oh, Hank, don't be such a child.

402
00:16:16,163 --> 00:16:17,830
Don't be such a fucking nag!

403
00:16:17,865 --> 00:16:20,933
You know what? Don't
put me in that box, okay?

404
00:16:20,968 --> 00:16:22,769
Just because you refuse to grow up,

405
00:16:22,803 --> 00:16:24,971
it does not turn me into a nag.

406
00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:27,440
God, Hank, you're so fucking selfish.

407
00:16:27,474 --> 00:16:29,942
I mean, everything revolves
around you, you know?

408
00:16:29,977 --> 00:16:32,512
It's all about what you
will do, what you won't do.

409
00:16:32,546 --> 00:16:34,213
It's... it's this is your life,

410
00:16:34,248 --> 00:16:36,048
and we're just all these
supporting characters in it.

411
00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:37,283
Yeah, and look who's giving

412
00:16:37,351 --> 00:16:38,818
the performance of a lifetime right now.

413
00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:40,553
You know, I don't want to do this anymore.

414
00:16:40,587 --> 00:16:42,355
It's so fucking miserable.

415
00:16:42,389 --> 00:16:44,624
- [Car horn honking]
- It is fucking miserable.

416
00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:49,562
[Tires squealing]

417
00:16:49,596 --> 00:16:53,299
[Car horns blaring]

418
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:55,802
♪ Get up, get out, get inside the outside ♪

419
00:16:55,836 --> 00:16:56,969
Fuck me.

420
00:16:57,004 --> 00:17:01,040
♪ Get up, get out, get in ♪

421
00:17:01,074 --> 00:17:02,842
♪ bump and grind ♪

422
00:17:02,876 --> 00:17:06,179
♪ bump and grind ♪

423
00:17:11,018 --> 00:17:13,319
[engine stops running]

424
00:17:13,353 --> 00:17:15,354
You okay?

425
00:17:15,389 --> 00:17:17,190
- I'm fine.
- Sorry about that.

426
00:17:17,224 --> 00:17:19,325
- Me too.
- [Sighs]

427
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,161
We could've fucking died back there, Karen.

428
00:17:22,196 --> 00:17:25,198
- Pretty much.
- 'Cause of your taste in music.

429
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:30,036
We weren't fighting over music, Hank.

430
00:17:30,070 --> 00:17:33,506
I know, but it all just
seems so silly now...

431
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:37,143
- All of it.
- I know.

432
00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:39,412
Where did we go wrong?

433
00:17:39,446 --> 00:17:42,014
We were perfect once.
I would swear to that.

434
00:17:42,049 --> 00:17:44,784
We've been in it a while. We have a child.

435
00:17:44,818 --> 00:17:46,452
We're not special.

436
00:17:46,486 --> 00:17:50,223
I mean, I know your writer's
brain wants to make us

437
00:17:50,257 --> 00:17:52,358
into some love story of
the ages or something.

438
00:17:52,426 --> 00:17:54,427
- 'Cause we are.
- Maybe, maybe.

439
00:17:54,461 --> 00:17:56,462
But we still need to work at it, you know,

440
00:17:56,496 --> 00:17:58,764
- just like the rest of the world.
- Mm-hmm.

441
00:17:58,832 --> 00:18:01,734
It's not gonna figure itself out.

442
00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:04,403
We need to...

443
00:18:04,438 --> 00:18:05,905
I don't know... it's been a long time

444
00:18:05,939 --> 00:18:08,040
since it was just about fiery sex.

445
00:18:08,075 --> 00:18:09,442
[Sighs] Yeah.

446
00:18:09,476 --> 00:18:11,944
It was never just about fiery sex, Karen.

447
00:18:16,016 --> 00:18:17,750
The sex was pretty
fiery, though, wasn't it?

448
00:18:17,784 --> 00:18:19,752
I don't want to talk about sex.

449
00:18:19,786 --> 00:18:21,587
I... I... I kind of do.

450
00:18:21,655 --> 00:18:24,257
Isn't that what we're talking
about, is a compromise?

451
00:18:24,291 --> 00:18:26,893
- Shut up.
- And kiss you? Done.

452
00:18:26,927 --> 00:18:28,761
Done.

453
00:18:35,102 --> 00:18:37,270
Help.

454
00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:29,488
Hello.

455
00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:31,857
Hi... Sister?

456
00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:33,192
What brings you in?

457
00:19:33,226 --> 00:19:36,128
My wife was in a car accident.

458
00:19:36,163 --> 00:19:37,530
I'm very sorry.

459
00:19:37,564 --> 00:19:39,498
Is she going to be okay?

460
00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:43,135
Don't know... now.

461
00:19:43,170 --> 00:19:45,538
Are you a religious person?

462
00:19:45,572 --> 00:19:47,006
Not really,

463
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,508
which is weird, because I often dream

464
00:19:49,543 --> 00:19:51,043
about being in a place like this,

465
00:19:51,078 --> 00:19:53,546
but in... in real life, not so much.

466
00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:57,049
Is there anything I can do for you?

467
00:19:57,084 --> 00:19:58,384
Would you like to talk?

468
00:19:58,418 --> 00:20:00,086
No, I... I'm good.

469
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,253
I was just kind of looking

470
00:20:01,288 --> 00:20:03,689
for a new place to sit and wait.

471
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:07,760
Are you of any particular faith?

472
00:20:07,794 --> 00:20:08,995
I'm a writer.

473
00:20:09,029 --> 00:20:11,063
So I believe in sitting down,

474
00:20:11,098 --> 00:20:13,499
shutting my eyes, and hoping for the best.

475
00:20:13,533 --> 00:20:17,003
But beyond that, I... not really, no.

476
00:20:17,037 --> 00:20:18,270
Well, that sounds like

477
00:20:18,305 --> 00:20:20,106
a pretty good definition of prayer to me.

478
00:20:20,173 --> 00:20:21,907
Sister, I don't... I don't
think the man upstairs

479
00:20:21,942 --> 00:20:23,743
would be too interested in hearing from me.

480
00:20:23,777 --> 00:20:26,512
I've been a particularly wayward son.

481
00:20:26,546 --> 00:20:28,581
- Everyone says that.
- No, no, no.

482
00:20:28,615 --> 00:20:30,216
I'm a blasphemous mess.

483
00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:32,685
If there's a top ten most unwanted list

484
00:20:32,719 --> 00:20:35,287
up there, I... I could very well be on it.

485
00:20:35,322 --> 00:20:37,590
Maybe so.

486
00:20:37,624 --> 00:20:41,360
But right now you just seem
like a man who loves his wife.

487
00:20:41,395 --> 00:20:43,562
I do.

488
00:20:43,597 --> 00:20:46,365
I really do. And...

489
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,502
I mean, we're not even married.
You know, we... we live in sin.

490
00:20:49,536 --> 00:20:50,770
[Chuckles]

491
00:20:50,804 --> 00:20:52,204
We had a child together, broke up,

492
00:20:52,239 --> 00:20:54,607
got back together, broke up,

493
00:20:54,641 --> 00:20:56,242
lather, rinse, repeat, you know.

494
00:20:56,276 --> 00:20:58,144
You really are a wayward son.

495
00:20:58,178 --> 00:20:59,645
I told you.

496
00:20:59,679 --> 00:21:02,748
You're very pleasant, Sister...

497
00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:04,283
very agreeable.

498
00:21:04,317 --> 00:21:05,818
Yeah.

499
00:21:05,852 --> 00:21:06,952
Sit.

500
00:21:06,987 --> 00:21:08,754
Close your eyes.

501
00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:10,423
Hope for the best.

502
00:21:10,457 --> 00:21:13,993
<i>[Red House Painters' Metropol 47]</i>

503
00:21:14,027 --> 00:21:17,463
♪ ♪

504
00:21:17,497 --> 00:21:24,170
♪ flash your smiling face at me ♪

505
00:21:24,237 --> 00:21:28,841
♪ open your eyes wide at me ♪

506
00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:31,577
- [blubbering lips]
- That's what I'm talking about.

507
00:21:31,611 --> 00:21:33,646
We just made the fuck, woman.

508
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,981
No, I'm gonna amend that.

509
00:21:36,049 --> 00:21:38,784
I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say we made some love.

510
00:21:38,819 --> 00:21:41,253
And you know how much I hate that phrase.

511
00:21:41,288 --> 00:21:43,022
But we made that shit.

512
00:21:43,056 --> 00:21:45,758
We made that shit right here
in our own little private Idaho

513
00:21:45,792 --> 00:21:48,060
of sin and sex juices and...

514
00:21:48,095 --> 00:21:49,662
Okay, are you finished?

515
00:21:49,696 --> 00:21:50,996
I could go on for hours.

516
00:21:51,031 --> 00:21:53,299
I've just started.

517
00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:55,468
Do you think it's possible?

518
00:21:55,502 --> 00:21:56,869
To go again?

519
00:21:56,903 --> 00:21:59,872
Yeah, just... just give
me five minutes or...

520
00:21:59,906 --> 00:22:01,273
Four.

521
00:22:01,308 --> 00:22:03,042
No, actually, I'm ready to go now.

522
00:22:03,076 --> 00:22:04,510
- Let's do...
- No, no, no.

523
00:22:04,544 --> 00:22:07,346
Do you think it's possible, you know,

524
00:22:07,380 --> 00:22:10,149
happily ever after?

525
00:22:10,183 --> 00:22:11,951
Yeah, baby.

526
00:22:11,985 --> 00:22:13,953
Just think.

527
00:22:13,987 --> 00:22:16,655
We got to bottle this
feeling and bust it out

528
00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:19,825
every time things get a little cloudy.

529
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,794
Yeah, 'cause that really works, right?

530
00:22:21,828 --> 00:22:24,396
Couples who have great sex...

531
00:22:24,431 --> 00:22:27,032
they always make it to the finish line.

532
00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:29,135
- [Chuckles]
- Do they?

533
00:22:29,169 --> 00:22:30,736
We're gonna make it, Karen.

534
00:22:30,770 --> 00:22:32,705
How do you know?

535
00:22:34,808 --> 00:22:36,976
'Cause I love you to death.

536
00:22:37,010 --> 00:22:39,912
- Really?
- I'm sure of that.

537
00:22:42,916 --> 00:22:45,618
I love you too.

538
00:22:48,455 --> 00:22:50,523
Come here.

539
00:22:55,729 --> 00:22:57,663
You ready?

540
00:22:57,697 --> 00:23:00,232
Yes.

541
00:23:04,671 --> 00:23:08,007
- Excuse me, Doctor.
- Yeah, in a minute.

542
00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:12,778
Hey, hey.

543
00:23:12,812 --> 00:23:14,346
She has a concussion.

544
00:23:14,381 --> 00:23:15,948
Oh, Jesus!

545
00:23:15,982 --> 00:23:17,683
But there's no internal bleeding.

546
00:23:17,751 --> 00:23:20,085
She'll be here for a couple days, but...

547
00:23:20,153 --> 00:23:22,221
she's a very lucky girl.

548
00:23:22,255 --> 00:23:24,356
Oh, my God.

549
00:23:24,391 --> 00:23:26,225
Thank God. Thank God.

550
00:23:26,259 --> 00:23:27,359
Can we see her?

551
00:23:27,394 --> 00:23:29,028
One of you can go back.

552
00:23:29,062 --> 00:23:30,729
Are you the husband?

553
00:23:30,764 --> 00:23:34,066
Yes. Yes, he's the fucking husband.

554
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:36,769
Go see your fucking wife.

555
00:23:36,803 --> 00:23:39,104
This way.

556
00:23:39,172 --> 00:23:42,608
[Exhales deeply] Oh, my God.

557
00:23:42,642 --> 00:23:44,577
Honey.

558
00:23:44,611 --> 00:23:46,779
Oh.

559
00:23:46,813 --> 00:23:47,947
[Clears throat]

560
00:23:47,981 --> 00:23:49,882
Oh. No.

561
00:23:49,916 --> 00:23:51,850
- Not here.
- Not here? Okay. Okay.

562
00:23:51,885 --> 00:23:54,887
[Monitor beeping]

563
00:24:15,175 --> 00:24:17,610
[Groans softly]

564
00:24:17,644 --> 00:24:22,014
[Groans softly]

565
00:24:22,048 --> 00:24:25,751
This doesn't change anything, you know.

566
00:24:25,819 --> 00:24:29,188
I'm still pissed at you.

567
00:24:29,222 --> 00:24:31,624
I wouldn't have it any other way.

568
00:24:31,658 --> 00:24:35,628
♪ Good morning, dear ♪

569
00:24:35,662 --> 00:24:39,632
♪ I hope I didn't wake you too soon ♪

570
00:24:41,668 --> 00:24:46,805
♪ because my mind is growing tired ♪

571
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,643
♪ too much thinking what I should do ♪

572
00:24:52,512 --> 00:24:56,815
♪ I picture you out there ♪

573
00:24:56,850 --> 00:24:59,952
♪ it must be beautiful ♪

574
00:24:59,986 --> 00:25:02,454
♪ this time of year ♪

575
00:25:02,489 --> 00:25:04,857
[Marcy babbles] Hello, sir.

576
00:25:04,891 --> 00:25:06,392
Finally.

577
00:25:06,426 --> 00:25:08,594
I interviewed a new assistant today.

578
00:25:08,628 --> 00:25:09,995
What was wrong with the old one?

579
00:25:10,030 --> 00:25:11,463
Well, the agency caught him

580
00:25:11,498 --> 00:25:13,899
looking at porn on the computer.

581
00:25:13,933 --> 00:25:15,334
- Oh, gross.
- Oh, is that a crime now?

582
00:25:15,368 --> 00:25:16,902
Maybe they were afraid

583
00:25:16,936 --> 00:25:18,637
he was beating off at work... I don't know.

584
00:25:18,672 --> 00:25:20,839
Oh, that's fucking foul, Charlie.

585
00:25:20,874 --> 00:25:23,709
Jerking off at work... save
that shit for the shower.

586
00:25:23,743 --> 00:25:26,378
Ah, I do not like to
stand up and masturbate.

587
00:25:26,413 --> 00:25:28,047
[Groans]

588
00:25:28,081 --> 00:25:29,481
Looking down, seeing my own belly,

589
00:25:29,516 --> 00:25:31,216
it takes me out of the game.

590
00:25:31,251 --> 00:25:32,818
Looking down and seeing
your great white underbelly

591
00:25:32,852 --> 00:25:34,153
would take me out of the game too.

592
00:25:34,187 --> 00:25:35,587
It's understandable.

593
00:25:35,622 --> 00:25:38,424
And yet, I love to sit down when I pee.

594
00:25:38,458 --> 00:25:40,225
What do you think about that, Karen?

595
00:25:40,260 --> 00:25:42,561
Hey, hey, guy or girl assistant?

596
00:25:42,595 --> 00:25:44,496
Ooh, gi-i-i-rl.

597
00:25:44,531 --> 00:25:47,399
She's got funky hair,
Hank, and tattoos all over.

598
00:25:47,434 --> 00:25:49,835
Hey, hey, hey, hey, you be careful, Runks.

599
00:25:49,869 --> 00:25:51,270
Don't go dipping your
helmet into that shit.

600
00:25:51,304 --> 00:25:52,338
I'll bite it off.

601
00:25:52,372 --> 00:25:54,073
Trust me, I will.

602
00:25:54,107 --> 00:25:56,408
And you can't afford to
lose an inch off that thing.

603
00:25:56,443 --> 00:25:58,744
- [Cell phone rings]
- I trust you, Marcella.

604
00:25:58,778 --> 00:26:00,846
Okay.

605
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,614
Hey, we've been trying to get you guys

606
00:26:02,649 --> 00:26:04,283
out on the town for weeks.

607
00:26:04,317 --> 00:26:05,918
What gives? Why now? Why?

608
00:26:05,952 --> 00:26:09,054
Hello? Hello?

609
00:26:09,089 --> 00:26:12,725
Nothing. Just some days
you see everything clearly.

610
00:26:12,759 --> 00:26:14,526
We almost died today.

611
00:26:14,561 --> 00:26:17,062
And then we went home and
fucked each other's brains out,

612
00:26:17,130 --> 00:26:18,864
which put us in a pretty good mood.

613
00:26:18,932 --> 00:26:21,033
And gave us an appetite.

614
00:26:21,067 --> 00:26:23,669
How many times a week do you guys fuck?

615
00:26:23,737 --> 00:26:25,971
Because Runks and I are starting to slump.

616
00:26:26,005 --> 00:26:27,039
Hey, now.

617
00:26:27,073 --> 00:26:28,707
What? It's true.

618
00:26:28,742 --> 00:26:30,309
Karenina, you don't think

619
00:26:30,343 --> 00:26:32,044
I'm starting to go
through the change, do you?

620
00:26:32,078 --> 00:26:32,643
- Because...
- Starting?

621
00:26:32,645 --> 00:26:35,214
- I still get really wet.
- Yes, yes, you do.

622
00:26:35,248 --> 00:26:37,316
I think that's what makes me pop so fast.

623
00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:39,985
You see, this is why we don't go out,

624
00:26:40,019 --> 00:26:42,454
because every time we
do, Charlie says something

625
00:26:42,489 --> 00:26:44,291
that makes me throw up in my mouth.

626
00:26:44,337 --> 00:26:45,704
She started it.

627
00:26:45,739 --> 00:26:47,606
Hey, well, try living with that shit

628
00:26:47,641 --> 00:26:50,242
try living with that shit. I didn't.

629
00:26:50,277 --> 00:26:52,845
You think we'll be doing
this years from now?

630
00:26:52,939 --> 00:26:54,473
Why wouldn't we be?

631
00:26:54,508 --> 00:26:56,876
We're the best friends
in the whole wide world.

632
00:26:56,910 --> 00:26:59,812
We have got tons more
business to do, my friend.

633
00:26:59,846 --> 00:27:02,248
We are not done taking this town by storm.

634
00:27:02,315 --> 00:27:04,850
I'm not sure if this town
is done taking us by storm...

635
00:27:04,885 --> 00:27:06,218
From behind...

636
00:27:06,253 --> 00:27:09,155
- Always.
- Not so much as a reach-around.

637
00:27:09,189 --> 00:27:11,557
Boys and girls...

638
00:27:11,591 --> 00:27:13,058
Oh, we're cheers-ing.

639
00:27:13,153 --> 00:27:15,054
To hard cocks, wet pussies,

640
00:27:15,088 --> 00:27:18,424
bald heads, smurfs, and
weathering the storm.

641
00:27:18,458 --> 00:27:19,825
[Glasses clinking]

642
00:27:19,859 --> 00:27:21,160
<i>L'Chaim.</i>

643
00:27:21,194 --> 00:27:22,928
<i>- Are you Jewish?
- Gesundheit.</i>

644
00:27:22,963 --> 00:27:24,797
I'm not sure if it's the whiskey talking,

645
00:27:24,831 --> 00:27:26,799
but I fucking love you guys.

646
00:27:26,833 --> 00:27:30,236
I fucking love you too.

647
00:27:30,270 --> 00:27:31,604
Especially you.

648
00:27:35,775 --> 00:27:38,844
- They're doing it.
- Aw. You should kiss me now.

649
00:27:38,878 --> 00:27:40,946
- We're kissing.
- So we have to.

650
00:27:41,014 --> 00:27:43,849
Both: Mm.

651
00:27:43,883 --> 00:27:46,685
That's good salad dressing.

652
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:51,409
♪ Even though you've had a late night ♪

653
00:27:51,410 --> 00:27:52,410
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