1
00:00:03,856 --> 00:00:05,990
Why are you here? Okay,
you're kind of killing my game.

2
00:00:06,025 --> 00:00:07,025
What game?

3
00:00:07,059 --> 00:00:08,993
You just invite Nicki over every week

4
00:00:09,028 --> 00:00:10,028
to watch "Mad Men."

5
00:00:10,062 --> 00:00:11,896
Uh, I also make banana bread, okay?

6
00:00:11,931 --> 00:00:14,132
And this week, I put
in some chocolate chips,

7
00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:16,100
so I think my game is pretty airtight.

8
00:00:16,135 --> 00:00:17,569
Whatever, baby bird.

9
00:00:17,903 --> 00:00:20,371
See you, Nicki. I got to go meet someone.

10
00:00:20,405 --> 00:00:21,506
Have fun with your friend.

11
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,141
Oh, it's not a friend. It's a girl.

12
00:00:23,175 --> 00:00:25,443
You don't have any girls that are friends?

13
00:00:25,477 --> 00:00:28,365
[Chuckles] Oh, you're not joking.

14
00:00:28,365 --> 00:00:28,412
Uh...

15
00:00:28,447 --> 00:00:31,575
Single guys can't be friends with girls.

16
00:00:31,575 --> 00:00:32,680
Discuss.

17
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,793
Hey, uh, save me some of that banana bread.

18
00:00:35,793 --> 00:00:38,008
[Laughs]

19
00:00:38,008 --> 00:00:38,788
[Door closes]

20
00:00:39,562 --> 00:00:42,350
Oh, by the way, I know
I said that sarcastically

21
00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:44,161
with a laugh at the end, but,
really, it sounds delicious.

22
00:00:44,161 --> 00:00:44,750
I'd like some later.

23
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,619
- [Door closes]
- What a jerk.

24
00:00:46,619 --> 00:00:49,352
- Are you really mad?
- Well, I ju... look.

25
00:00:49,352 --> 00:00:51,428
I got my boobs in fourth grade,

26
00:00:51,428 --> 00:00:54,005
so I've had years of people talking to me

27
00:00:54,005 --> 00:00:55,704
like they're interested in me for me,

28
00:00:55,704 --> 00:00:58,111
when really they're
just staring at my chest.

29
00:00:59,037 --> 00:00:59,616
Go on.

30
00:01:02,148 --> 00:01:03,515
Why can't anybody

31
00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:06,885
just be interested in me for me, you know?

32
00:01:11,591 --> 00:01:15,260
[Sniffs]

33
00:01:18,265 --> 00:01:19,498
Oh, my God.

34
00:01:19,532 --> 00:01:22,067
[Chuckling] It's been
you this whole time.

35
00:01:22,102 --> 00:01:24,036
Y-you're the answer.

36
00:01:24,070 --> 00:01:26,605
To what?

37
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,442
You are my proof that Danny is wrong!

38
00:01:30,477 --> 00:01:31,910
[Chuckling] I mean, seriously,

39
00:01:31,945 --> 00:01:34,468
I could probably be pretty wasted

40
00:01:34,468 --> 00:01:37,396
and just be all over you
like, "Oh, my God, Justin,

41
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:40,351
just, like, kiss me and,
like, touch me, like, now."

42
00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:43,304
You know? And you wouldn't do anything

43
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,788
because you're my friend, right?

44
00:01:44,788 --> 00:01:47,406
Yeah, no. Yeah, no.

45
00:01:47,406 --> 00:01:50,054
No, I'm... I'm your friend.

46
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,308
[Both chuckle]

47
00:01:52,308 --> 00:01:53,381
All right.

48
00:01:56,086 --> 00:01:57,093
Are you flexing?

49
00:01:57,093 --> 00:01:57,905
[Straining] No.

50
00:01:58,940 --> 00:01:59,971
Danny: All right, now. Here we go. Come on.

51
00:02:00,005 --> 00:02:01,873
Justin: Okay. We are going.

52
00:02:01,946 --> 00:02:04,998
Synced and corrected by Mastermonger.
www.addic7ed.com

53
00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:07,775
♪ Oh-oh-oh,
oh, oh ♪
♪

54
00:02:07,775 --> 00:02:10,344
♪ We are best friends ♪

55
00:02:10,344 --> 00:02:11,953
No. Never, ever do that again.

56
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,729
Oh, hello.

57
00:02:14,763 --> 00:02:16,931
Thank you for ruining my
date with Nicki last night.

58
00:02:16,965 --> 00:02:20,335
It wasn't a date, and heads up, baby bird.

59
00:02:20,369 --> 00:02:21,536
What is that? What are you doing?

60
00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:23,905
It's a piece of advice.

61
00:02:23,939 --> 00:02:26,437
Sometimes I like to
toss them out like gifts.

62
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,951
Hey, Brett. Keep being
British. It works for you.

63
00:02:28,951 --> 00:02:30,591
Cheerio, mate. How's your father?

64
00:02:30,591 --> 00:02:32,442
I'm a cockney. David Beckham.

65
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:38,003
Hey, Bursk, stop being
so obnoxious around women.

66
00:02:38,003 --> 00:02:40,084
This one's for them ugly bitches.

67
00:02:42,964 --> 00:02:44,356
You need to read it again.

68
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:47,198
Your turn, bro.

69
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:51,623
All right, man.

70
00:02:51,623 --> 00:02:53,574
You need to make a move like now, okay?

71
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,765
Otherwise, you're gonna be stuck

72
00:02:54,765 --> 00:02:55,853
in the friend zone with Nicki forever.

73
00:02:55,858 --> 00:02:57,279
Uh, Google news alert...

74
00:02:57,314 --> 00:02:59,220
I'm not in the friend
zone with Nicki, okay?

75
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,898
Let's try Siri. Ting.

76
00:03:00,898 --> 00:03:02,684
Siri, am I in the friend zone with Nicki?

77
00:03:05,846 --> 00:03:08,548
"No, Justin. Your eyes are ocean blue.

78
00:03:08,548 --> 00:03:10,448
That's impossible. L.O.L."

79
00:03:12,952 --> 00:03:14,239
Come on. Let's be honest, mate.

80
00:03:14,239 --> 00:03:16,316
This isn't your first trip
to the friend zone, is it?

81
00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:18,253
Heather Flanders... College?

82
00:03:18,253 --> 00:03:21,023
I was not in the friend zone
with Heather Flanders, okay?

83
00:03:21,023 --> 00:03:22,700
She thought I was gay.

84
00:03:24,549 --> 00:03:26,732
World's worst brag.

85
00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:30,470
So, Danny, when you're in the
friend zone, what do you do?

86
00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,497
You know, I have a move
that works every single time.

87
00:03:32,497 --> 00:03:34,627
Never fails... I just throw
her on the back of my bike,

88
00:03:34,627 --> 00:03:35,911
and I take her for a ride.

89
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:38,701
I give her my helmet, so
she knows I can protect her.

90
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:39,810
Added bonus...

91
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:42,457
I also look awesome
with the wind in my hair.

92
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,574
I speed up, you know? And
she's all like, "slow down!"

93
00:03:48,574 --> 00:03:50,561
But I'm like, "sweetheart, I can't

94
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,911
'cause the adrenaline's pumpin' too hard."

95
00:03:53,791 --> 00:03:56,805
So, then I just, like, lean back into her,

96
00:03:56,805 --> 00:03:58,516
and she grips my hips.

97
00:03:58,516 --> 00:04:00,109
Siri, did that work?

98
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,056
Ding!

99
00:04:01,056 --> 00:04:02,296
Game over.

100
00:04:07,249 --> 00:04:09,183
- You don't even have a move.
- You kidding me?

101
00:04:09,218 --> 00:04:12,353
I do the whole "cover her
eyes from behind game."

102
00:04:13,956 --> 00:04:16,424
Then I pull away. "Look
at that. What is that?

103
00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:18,326
"An eyelash? Oh, go ahead, girl.

104
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,863
Make a wish, 'cause
mine's about to come true."

105
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,766
All right, what if there's no eyelash?

106
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,100
There's always an eyelash

107
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,569
because I pluck one of
my own before going in.

108
00:04:33,525 --> 00:04:36,021
Whoo! That's what I'm talking about!

109
00:04:36,021 --> 00:04:37,563
- Right! Yes!
- Suck it, Bears!

110
00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:38,395
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

111
00:04:38,395 --> 00:04:39,320
[Both grunting]

112
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,851
Hyah! Whaaaaaat!

113
00:04:41,851 --> 00:04:44,053
[Imitates machine-gun fire]

114
00:04:44,053 --> 00:04:45,472
Whoa!

115
00:04:45,472 --> 00:04:46,640
Ploop!

116
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:47,863
[Clicking tongue]

117
00:04:48,962 --> 00:04:49,994
Oh.

118
00:04:49,994 --> 00:04:51,786
[Imitates camera shutter clicking]

119
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,260
You're missing a great game, bro.

120
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,330
Ohh! God, immediately
we give the ball back.

121
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,232
It's like everything associated
with the word "Detroit"

122
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:01,934
has to suck.
- Burski: Don't do it. Don't say it.

123
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,569
Shut up! Shut up! It's embarrassing.

124
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,271
You know, it's a joke of a
team for a joke of a city.

125
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,274
I will not sit here while you
talk about Detroit that way!

126
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,478
She is a beautiful lady
with an ample bosom,

127
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,079
and I love her!

128
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:19,478
I was born here, and I plan to die here.

129
00:05:19,478 --> 00:05:21,267
Good day, ma'am.

130
00:05:24,417 --> 00:05:25,573
What just happened?

131
00:05:25,608 --> 00:05:27,243
Brett: It's his code.

132
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,323
Trash talk Detroit, you're dead to him.

133
00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:30,601
How was I supposed to know that?

134
00:05:30,636 --> 00:05:34,271
Every article of clothing he
has has the word "Detroit" on it.

135
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:38,727
Shelly.

136
00:05:38,727 --> 00:05:40,808
We're cool, right?

137
00:05:45,008 --> 00:05:47,847
My lucky bobblehead
can't even look at you.

138
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,126
I'm proud of you for
not spitting in her face.

139
00:05:56,434 --> 00:05:57,271
[Door closes]

140
00:06:09,347 --> 00:06:10,447
Guess who.

141
00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:12,082
Oh, ow, ow, ow! Ohh! It stings!

142
00:06:12,116 --> 00:06:14,017
What? Oh, it's lime
juice. God! Ow! Oh, God!

143
00:06:14,051 --> 00:06:15,852
This wine cloth! Here, here! Yeah.

144
00:06:15,887 --> 00:06:17,554
There's lime juice on the towel!

145
00:06:17,588 --> 00:06:19,256
Aw, I'm sorry. Uh, here, take this water.

146
00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:20,757
- That's actually lime juice.
- [Groans]

147
00:06:20,791 --> 00:06:22,659
Why are there so many
lime products back here?!

148
00:06:23,794 --> 00:06:26,196
- I'm... I'm sorry.
- [Laughing] It's okay.

149
00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:27,330
- I'm sorry.
- Oh.

150
00:06:27,365 --> 00:06:29,399
But, hey, I-I think you got a...

151
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,735
I think you got an eyelash right... there.

152
00:06:31,769 --> 00:06:33,637
Wha... [Sighs]

153
00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,407
No. No, you... no, you don't.

154
00:06:37,441 --> 00:06:39,843
Where did that go?

155
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,711
Look, Nicki, can I talk
to you about something?

156
00:06:41,746 --> 00:06:43,448
Yeah. Of course.

157
00:06:43,448 --> 00:06:44,761
Okay, there's this...

158
00:06:44,761 --> 00:06:46,596
this girl that I'm friends with,

159
00:06:46,596 --> 00:06:47,099
and I've been thinking

160
00:06:47,099 --> 00:06:49,469
about how I kind of want
it to be more than that.

161
00:06:49,469 --> 00:06:50,851
[Laughs]

162
00:06:50,851 --> 00:06:53,088
That's, um, really weird,

163
00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:56,434
'cause, um, I've been
thinking about somebody, too.

164
00:06:56,434 --> 00:06:56,956
[Chuckles nervously]

165
00:06:56,956 --> 00:06:59,463
- Oh, is that so?
- [Chuckles]

166
00:07:01,663 --> 00:07:02,855
And I, um...

167
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:04,147
I think you might know him.

168
00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:05,227
[Chuckles]

169
00:07:05,227 --> 00:07:06,443
I bet I do.

170
00:07:06,443 --> 00:07:07,693
[Both laugh]

171
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:11,157
Uh, would you, uh, describe this... this...

172
00:07:11,157 --> 00:07:13,051
this guy as, uh, handsome?

173
00:07:13,051 --> 00:07:16,052
Mm, I would describe him as hot.

174
00:07:16,052 --> 00:07:17,476
[Chuckles] Okay, wow.

175
00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:21,032
Uh, would you say that
he's a very good dancer?

176
00:07:21,032 --> 00:07:22,491
[Laughs]

177
00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:25,027
I would say he's actually a great dancer.

178
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,656
Oh, well, then he will be happy

179
00:07:26,656 --> 00:07:30,647
he spent all that time as a kid training.

180
00:07:30,647 --> 00:07:32,680
[Both chuckle]

181
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,040
Listen, I'm gonna pour
us a couple of drinks.

182
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,106
Don't worry. I know the owner.

183
00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:41,229
And you're gonna tell me
who your mystery person is,

184
00:07:41,229 --> 00:07:44,009
and I'm going to tell you about mine.

185
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:47,737
She likes Danny!

186
00:07:47,737 --> 00:07:49,930
Ha-ha! Classic!

187
00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:51,812
Oh.

188
00:07:51,812 --> 00:07:55,160
What? Why?

189
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:02,899
So, after she said his name,
she asked me who my person was.

190
00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:04,534
I panicked and just said the first name

191
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,302
that came to my head, so if anybody asks,

192
00:08:06,337 --> 00:08:09,605
I'm really into a girl named "Justin."

193
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:12,909
Danny, how are you gonna help him?

194
00:08:12,943 --> 00:08:15,078
I'll tell you how...
he's gonna blow off Nicki

195
00:08:15,112 --> 00:08:16,479
'cause Justin called dibs.

196
00:08:16,513 --> 00:08:17,847
Listen, I can't ignore Nicki.

197
00:08:17,881 --> 00:08:19,415
That'll just make her want me more.

198
00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:20,950
That's how girls work. Right, Les?

199
00:08:20,985 --> 00:08:23,186
Yeah.

200
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,655
This is my worst nightmare.

201
00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:26,622
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

202
00:08:26,657 --> 00:08:27,790
You're lucky, okay?

203
00:08:27,825 --> 00:08:30,159
'Cause I've got the answer right here.

204
00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:34,464
Don't you dare toss that to me.

205
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,955
Just... just take it!

206
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,090
Ha!

207
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:47,427
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

208
00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:54,500
Okay, fine! So what? She likes me.

209
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,203
Whatever! Okay? She
just wants a little fun.

210
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,005
She wants to "add sex to cart."

211
00:08:59,039 --> 00:08:59,973
[Clicks tongue]

212
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,908
What are you talking about?

213
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,477
He's saying that girl is in heat, bro.

214
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,779
Nobody is in heat! Human
girls cannot be in heat.

215
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:09,749
[Breathes deeply] Oh, I've been in heat.

216
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:13,019
Look, she doesn't want a relationship.

217
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,487
She just wants a hookup.

218
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,290
Girls don't fall in love
with guys like Danny.

219
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:20,063
He's not mature. He has no substance.

220
00:09:20,063 --> 00:09:21,401
Okay, you know what, Les? I think they get it.

221
00:09:21,401 --> 00:09:24,664
Look, you have no more
time for cute "moves," okay?

222
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:28,046
You got to go in there right
now and tell her how you feel.

223
00:09:28,046 --> 00:09:30,137
All right. All right. You
know what I'm gonna do?

224
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:31,678
I'm gonna go take a shower,

225
00:09:31,678 --> 00:09:34,704
and then I'm gonna look in the
mirror and put on my game face.

226
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,634
That sounded like I
was gonna put on makeup.

227
00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:39,428
I do not wear makeup.

228
00:09:39,428 --> 00:09:40,574
Sure, if I have a zit,

229
00:09:40,574 --> 00:09:42,282
I might put on some of
that tinted cover-up.

230
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,769
It looks nice. Leslie, you
know what I'm talking about.

231
00:09:43,769 --> 00:09:44,980
I'm getting a little off-track.

232
00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:47,351
The point is, I'm gonna crush it.

233
00:09:47,351 --> 00:09:49,023
That's what I'm talking about.

234
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:50,174
I'm a man. I can do this.

235
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,501
Should I bring some of that
banana bread? I got some left over.

236
00:09:53,898 --> 00:09:55,062
No bread.

237
00:09:58,325 --> 00:09:58,982
Shell.

238
00:10:00,638 --> 00:10:03,967
I brought you an "I love
Detroit" ice-cream cake.

239
00:10:05,602 --> 00:10:06,537
I'm so sorry.

240
00:10:06,537 --> 00:10:08,969
I think I'm needed in the bathroom.

241
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,906
Well, I guess this is going in the trash.

242
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,199
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
- Uhp, uhp, uhp, uhp!

243
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,237
Come here. My move.

244
00:10:17,237 --> 00:10:19,495
Leslie, what you just
did with Shelly there,

245
00:10:19,495 --> 00:10:21,291
that was, as my trainer said last week

246
00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:24,199
when I lost three-quarters
of a pound, "a good start."

247
00:10:25,497 --> 00:10:27,882
You got to take him to a Lions game

248
00:10:27,882 --> 00:10:29,577
or... or learn his favorite song,

249
00:10:29,577 --> 00:10:31,820
which is "Night moves" by
Detroit legend Bob Seger.

250
00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:33,571
You just got to make a bigger gesture.

251
00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:35,440
I got a big gesture for Shelly.

252
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,014
It involves my ass pressed
against his windshield.

253
00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:43,240
One tiny mistake, and I'm dead to him?

254
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,670
Well, guess what.

255
00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:47,904
You don't accept my
apology, you're dead to me.

256
00:10:49,384 --> 00:10:50,322
Ugh.

257
00:10:51,473 --> 00:10:53,418
Hey. What's wrong there?

258
00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:54,385
Oh, nothing.

259
00:10:54,385 --> 00:10:56,040
I-I tweaked my neck

260
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,224
trying to toss out some imaginary advice.

261
00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:02,355
You need some magic fingers?

262
00:11:02,355 --> 00:11:03,791
Uh, uh, I...

263
00:11:03,791 --> 00:11:04,979
that's okay. Thank you very much, though.

264
00:11:04,979 --> 00:11:06,170
Okay. [Giggles] Fine.

265
00:11:06,170 --> 00:11:07,915
I was just trying to... trying to help.

266
00:11:07,915 --> 00:11:09,451
Oh, it's not you. It's just, you know...

267
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:12,174
it's... Oh, yeah! God!

268
00:11:12,174 --> 00:11:16,331
- That feels so good.
- [Chuckles]

269
00:11:16,331 --> 00:11:18,620
[Laughs]

270
00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:23,417
Danny, I wish you would've let me know

271
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,887
that you needed a massage
'cause I would never let a friend

272
00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:27,191
be in pain without helping.

273
00:11:27,191 --> 00:11:29,380
[Chuckling] You guys massage each other?

274
00:11:30,831 --> 00:11:31,725
Oh, yeah.

275
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,979
But when Danny works on
my back, it feels more

276
00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:38,197
like a deep, rhythmic,
stabbing motion, you know?

277
00:11:40,717 --> 00:11:44,101
And at the end of that story,
there's... never a happy ending.

278
00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:55,249
You keep your damn hands off my woman.

279
00:11:56,321 --> 00:11:57,510
Okay, you know what?

280
00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,425
That was a nonconsensual
massage, all right?

281
00:11:59,425 --> 00:12:02,394
Oh, you loved it... Her
heavy breath on your neck,

282
00:12:02,394 --> 00:12:04,612
her oiled-up hands all
over your naked back.

283
00:12:04,612 --> 00:12:06,997
What do you think you just saw?

284
00:12:08,236 --> 00:12:10,021
Look, I've done everything in my power

285
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,861
to try and help you get
that girl, all right?

286
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,860
And you know what? Frankly,
I'm getting a little bit upset

287
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,632
that you're getting pissed
when I haven't done anything.

288
00:12:15,632 --> 00:12:17,391
Oh, really?! You want
to know what I think?!

289
00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:18,768
I think y...

290
00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:20,831
You're right!

291
00:12:20,831 --> 00:12:21,702
[Sighs]

292
00:12:21,702 --> 00:12:24,506
I'm just... [Sighs] I'm upset, okay?

293
00:12:24,506 --> 00:12:26,053
And I'm... I'm sorry.

294
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:29,896
Apology accepted, man.

295
00:12:31,159 --> 00:12:33,207
Hey, I forgot to ask you...

296
00:12:33,207 --> 00:12:34,865
Would you, um, give me a ride home later?

297
00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:37,790
Um... I can't 'cause I have my motorcycle.

298
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:38,307
So what?

299
00:12:38,307 --> 00:12:40,331
The first day you were here
you drove me home on your bike.

300
00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:43,211
[Door closes]

301
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,560
Be honest... did I not mention that?

302
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:53,953
How long has he been like this?

303
00:12:53,953 --> 00:12:57,335
It's been about like 10
minutes. I don't know.

304
00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,723
What set him off?

305
00:12:59,723 --> 00:13:01,463
I'll tell you what set him off.

306
00:13:01,463 --> 00:13:04,442
Our good friend Danny here
did the motorcycle move...

307
00:13:04,442 --> 00:13:06,777
With Nicki.

308
00:13:06,777 --> 00:13:08,374
You're as bad as your hateful sister!

309
00:13:09,835 --> 00:13:11,345
Calm down, okay?

310
00:13:11,345 --> 00:13:13,969
I-I just... I took Nicki
on my motorcycle one time.

311
00:13:13,969 --> 00:13:15,543
It was the day I met Justin,

312
00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:17,669
and I didn't know that we
were gonna be friends yet.

313
00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:18,779
Just tell me this...

314
00:13:18,779 --> 00:13:22,760
When you took the girl of
my dreams on your motorcycle,

315
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,195
did your hair flow in the wind?

316
00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:29,159
My hair was great that day.

317
00:13:30,621 --> 00:13:31,471
Did you do the lean-back?

318
00:13:34,017 --> 00:13:35,559
I did the lean-back.

319
00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:36,642
Did she grip the hips?

320
00:13:36,642 --> 00:13:38,272
Oh, God, tell me she didn't grip the hi...

321
00:13:38,272 --> 00:13:39,902
Justin, bloody hell! Don't do it, man!

322
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,408
I said I want to know everything,

323
00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:43,458
and I want to know it now!

324
00:13:44,692 --> 00:13:46,555
She gripped the hips, man.

325
00:13:48,421 --> 00:13:50,031
[Laughs]

326
00:13:50,031 --> 00:13:53,819
The puzzle pieces [blows]
are falling into place.

327
00:13:55,612 --> 00:13:57,526
You've been with her the
whole time, haven't you?

328
00:13:57,526 --> 00:13:59,577
Hey, what the
hell are you talking about?

329
00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:00,878
Oh, yeah.

330
00:14:00,878 --> 00:14:03,101
How else would she know
you're a good dancer?

331
00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:05,157
Oh, come on! Anyone's
who's ever seen me move

332
00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:07,198
knows that I'm an amazing dancer!

333
00:14:15,442 --> 00:14:16,868
Well, you know what you're not amazing at?

334
00:14:16,868 --> 00:14:18,315
Being a friend.

335
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,677
I'm an amazing friend, okay?

336
00:14:19,677 --> 00:14:21,863
The second I realized
that you were into Nicki,

337
00:14:21,863 --> 00:14:22,871
I backed off.

338
00:14:22,871 --> 00:14:25,334
Justin, that is textbook bros before hos.

339
00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:27,505
Okay. You know what? He's right.

340
00:14:27,505 --> 00:14:28,987
And I'll tell you one
more thing I'm gonna do...

341
00:14:28,987 --> 00:14:30,653
I'm gonna toss you an apology.

342
00:14:30,653 --> 00:14:32,451
But I should warn you, my sister and I

343
00:14:32,451 --> 00:14:34,697
come from the same fiery
Sicilian bloodline, okay?

344
00:14:34,697 --> 00:14:37,441
So if I toss you this apology,
and you don't accept it,

345
00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,636
[italian accent] It's
a-gonna be a problem, eh?

346
00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:43,728
[Normal voice] You want me
to toss you this apology or not?

347
00:14:45,494 --> 00:14:47,574
I do, Danny. I really do.

348
00:14:50,335 --> 00:14:51,487
Thank you.

349
00:14:52,265 --> 00:14:54,371
- Justin!
- Don't be stupid!

350
00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:55,980
It's done!

351
00:14:57,807 --> 00:15:00,241
You sick bastard! You killed my apology!

352
00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:01,568
I think it's still moving.

353
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,634
It needs a little De
Niro, "Goodfellas."

354
00:15:11,941 --> 00:15:13,332
Hey, Brett. [Sighs]

355
00:15:13,332 --> 00:15:14,488
You left this in my car.

356
00:15:16,426 --> 00:15:17,611
You're not staying for a drink?

357
00:15:17,611 --> 00:15:18,632
No.

358
00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:22,503
There's a... negative energy in here

359
00:15:22,503 --> 00:15:24,044
that I can't quite put my finger on,

360
00:15:24,044 --> 00:15:26,926
but it's shaped exactly like Shelly.

361
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,001
You too are seriously still fighting?

362
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:35,901
I have a code. She ran afoul of it.

363
00:15:36,917 --> 00:15:39,314
I'm gonna do something
that I swore I'd never do.

364
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,459
I'm gonna crap on Detroit.

365
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:43,680
Brett, make me a stiff drink.

366
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,464
Straight vodka coming up.

367
00:15:45,464 --> 00:15:46,422
Stiff drink I'd like.

368
00:15:46,422 --> 00:15:47,648
Lemon drop coming up.

369
00:15:47,648 --> 00:15:50,287
You love this city as much as I do.

370
00:15:50,287 --> 00:15:51,951
But this is the only way.

371
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,586
Here we go.

372
00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:56,852
Oh, yeah.

373
00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:04,692
Shelly, Detroit has seen better days.

374
00:16:04,692 --> 00:16:05,606
You don't want to do this.

375
00:16:05,606 --> 00:16:07,963
No, you brought it on yourself.
Guys, get in the game. Brett.

376
00:16:07,963 --> 00:16:10,598
Detroit's the most messed-up
city I've ever seen.

377
00:16:11,814 --> 00:16:13,893
And I've been to Los Angeles.

378
00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:21,444
Not you! Not my sweet English rose!

379
00:16:22,358 --> 00:16:24,246
Shelly, Detroit's so bad

380
00:16:24,246 --> 00:16:26,490
it couldn't even keep a WNBA franchise.

381
00:16:26,490 --> 00:16:27,818
You keep the shock out of this!

382
00:16:29,486 --> 00:16:32,272
Or I will straight up murder you!

383
00:16:32,272 --> 00:16:35,458
Detroit is a bankrupt ghost town

384
00:16:35,458 --> 00:16:37,391
where you got a better
chance of getting shot

385
00:16:37,391 --> 00:16:39,969
than you do finding a
streetlight that works.

386
00:16:39,969 --> 00:16:41,969
[Weakly] Why?

387
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:47,805
Why would you do this to me?

388
00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:50,186
Because you know we don't mean it.

389
00:16:50,186 --> 00:16:51,973
Okay? And we love you,

390
00:16:51,973 --> 00:16:53,867
so you'll forgive us for it, okay?

391
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:54,971
And you should do the same for Leslie

392
00:16:54,971 --> 00:16:56,193
'cause she's one of us now.

393
00:16:58,793 --> 00:17:01,161
Dude, what did you put in that lemon drop?

394
00:17:01,161 --> 00:17:02,011
I'm flying.

395
00:17:06,523 --> 00:17:07,558
Ohh, you know what, Devon?

396
00:17:07,558 --> 00:17:08,586
I actually... I don't care

397
00:17:08,586 --> 00:17:11,028
that you're beating me
in "Gears of War," okay?

398
00:17:11,028 --> 00:17:13,137
You're 14, and I've had sex before, so...

399
00:17:14,612 --> 00:17:15,796
[Knock on door]

400
00:17:15,796 --> 00:17:17,848
Oh, uh, yeah, the door's open.

401
00:17:21,046 --> 00:17:21,902
Hi.

402
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,402
Cool headset, man.

403
00:17:23,402 --> 00:17:25,053
Bet that thing comes in handy

404
00:17:25,053 --> 00:17:26,805
when you call those 24-hour sex chats.

405
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:30,205
Keep your hands free. Am I right?

406
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,510
I don't know. I've never
called one of those.

407
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:34,826
Yeah, me neither.

408
00:17:36,365 --> 00:17:37,908
Let's cut to the chase, okay?

409
00:17:37,908 --> 00:17:39,979
No matter what you say,
I'm not gonna feel bad,

410
00:17:39,979 --> 00:17:41,440
- because I didn't...
- Because you didn't do anything.

411
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,825
Yeah, I know. You're not doing anything.

412
00:17:43,825 --> 00:17:45,551
That is the problem, mate.

413
00:17:46,442 --> 00:17:49,059
Justin is crushed about this Nicki thing,

414
00:17:49,059 --> 00:17:50,592
but he's... he's out there,

415
00:17:50,592 --> 00:17:51,646
and he's trying to help

416
00:17:51,646 --> 00:17:53,009
your sister and Shelly patch things up.

417
00:17:54,363 --> 00:17:56,371
Now, I think that's what a good
friend really is, don't you?

418
00:17:57,878 --> 00:17:58,882
Putting your own feelings aside

419
00:17:58,882 --> 00:18:00,945
and do whatever it
takes to help your mates.

420
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,479
Is there any more ice-cream cake?

421
00:18:15,466 --> 00:18:16,154
Justin: Closing up.

422
00:18:16,154 --> 00:18:18,619
You here to throw Nicki on
the back of your motorcycle?

423
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:19,961
No, Nicki just left.

424
00:18:19,961 --> 00:18:23,000
I came by because your
boy Brett came by the house

425
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,925
and, uh, told me to come help you.

426
00:18:24,925 --> 00:18:25,986
Oh, did he?

427
00:18:25,986 --> 00:18:28,805
You know what I realized?
You can't be helped.

428
00:18:29,851 --> 00:18:31,363
The only way for you to have sex with Nicki

429
00:18:31,363 --> 00:18:32,745
would be if I were to knock you out

430
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,706
and then hang you on the ceiling
with a rope-and-pulley system

431
00:18:35,706 --> 00:18:38,450
and physically raise and
lower you onto her body.

432
00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,799
Get out of my bar, Danny.

433
00:18:44,799 --> 00:18:46,557
No, I'm not gonna get out of your bar

434
00:18:46,557 --> 00:18:48,182
because you need to hear this, all right?

435
00:18:48,182 --> 00:18:50,193
You're terrified to put yourself out there,

436
00:18:50,193 --> 00:18:51,798
and you know what? That makes you a coward.

437
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,792
- I am not a coward.
- Oh, really?

438
00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:55,241
Well, then what makes her so special?

439
00:18:55,241 --> 00:18:56,795
I'm not playing this game with you.

440
00:18:56,795 --> 00:18:58,903
<i>If you can't tell me
what makes her so special,</i>

441
00:18:58,903 --> 00:19:00,174
then how are you gonna tell her?

442
00:19:00,174 --> 00:19:00,794
Fine!

443
00:19:00,794 --> 00:19:04,966
I would tell her that
she's... an amazing waitress.

444
00:19:06,408 --> 00:19:08,175
Wow. Great opener, man.

445
00:19:08,175 --> 00:19:11,093
Okay, what I mean is, when
I walk in here and I see her,

446
00:19:11,093 --> 00:19:13,787
it makes me not regret opening this bar.

447
00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:17,321
Like, if I lost everything,
at least I found her.

448
00:19:17,321 --> 00:19:19,284
That's a little better, baby bird,

449
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,714
but, uh, you're still not opening up.

450
00:19:21,714 --> 00:19:24,522
Come on. I'm her. Tell me. Open your heart.

451
00:19:24,522 --> 00:19:26,026
Get me out of these jeans.

452
00:19:30,699 --> 00:19:31,791
Okay.

453
00:19:31,791 --> 00:19:33,247
You know what I'd tell her?

454
00:19:33,247 --> 00:19:36,369
I'd tell her that if she
wants to roll around in the hay

455
00:19:36,369 --> 00:19:39,500
with some party boy, then
go ahead, but that's not me.

456
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,526
But if she wants to be with somebody

457
00:19:41,526 --> 00:19:44,220
that actually knows her
and will listen to her

458
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,756
and help her with all her
problems, then I'm her guy.

459
00:19:46,756 --> 00:19:49,480
Then I would tell her that she's
the first person I want to see

460
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,760
when I wake up in the morning

461
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,115
and the last person I want
to talk to when I go to bed,

462
00:19:53,115 --> 00:19:54,864
and then I would admit that I stole that

463
00:19:54,864 --> 00:19:55,922
from "When Harry met Sally... "

464
00:19:57,473 --> 00:19:58,790
But most of all, I would tell her

465
00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,164
that the only reason

466
00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:02,490
that I never made a move in the beginning

467
00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:04,636
was because I didn't know if
I could take it if she said no.

468
00:20:06,932 --> 00:20:09,167
You can hear everything from your office.

469
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,236
What?

470
00:20:10,236 --> 00:20:12,395
You're welcome.

471
00:20:17,024 --> 00:20:18,447
[Laughs]

472
00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:27,903
I am a God!

473
00:20:35,831 --> 00:20:38,064
Thank you for taking me to dinner.

474
00:20:38,064 --> 00:20:41,271
Well, thank you for pressing
your ass against my windshield.

475
00:20:49,776 --> 00:20:52,419
And I must admit,

476
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,327
I learned all the words to "Night moves."

477
00:20:54,327 --> 00:20:56,199
Come on, then. Let's hear it.

478
00:20:56,199 --> 00:20:57,033
[Clears throat]

479
00:20:57,033 --> 00:21:00,204
♪ Workin' on our night moves ♪

480
00:21:00,204 --> 00:21:02,050
[Chuckling] Oh. That was sweet.

481
00:21:02,050 --> 00:21:03,365
Oh.

482
00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:06,203
Actually, it's a little higher than that.

483
00:21:06,203 --> 00:21:06,774
[Clears throat]

484
00:21:06,774 --> 00:21:11,057
♪ Workin' on our night moves ♪

485
00:21:11,057 --> 00:21:15,504
Nicki and Justin: ♪ tryin' to
lose those awkward teenage blues ♪

486
00:21:15,504 --> 00:21:19,337
♪ Workin' on our night moves ♪

487
00:21:19,337 --> 00:21:21,563
♪ And it was summertime ♪

488
00:21:21,563 --> 00:21:23,923
Justin: Time, time, time, time-ooooh!

489
00:21:23,924 --> 00:21:25,239
Oh god, what have I done!

490
00:21:26,971 --> 00:21:32,239
Synced and corrected by Mastermonger.
www.addic7ed.com