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Previously on Californication:
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Stu, Nikki.
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You two guys know each other?
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She relieved my son of his virginity.
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- Nikki's here.
- She's with Stu.
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00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,483
That feeling is back,
like I got to fuck something.
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00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:23,884
I have a proposal for you.
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00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,356
And, yes, it is quite indecent.
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You'd seriously pay
a million dollars to fuck me?
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00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:31,822
Oh, yeah.
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00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:35,126
I'm going to be putting a clock
on that offer I made you, Charlie.
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You know which one I'm talking about.
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- Krull?
- Hey.
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- How's it going?
- What are you doing?
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Time to work on me
motorbikes and memoirs.
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You were macking on her
when inside of me?
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You were inside her? What the fuck?
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00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,678
- Rath, it's complicated.
- It's not complicated.
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They want to make an offer
to E*ddie Nero.
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Don't do it.
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- You'll regret it.
- Why?
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He poops on people.
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00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:57,916
Nero's a fucking psycho.
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I think what he wants
is to take you in his mouth.
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Well, it's always nice to be wanted.
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Hank, shut up and listen to me.
Karen was in a car accident.
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This doesn't change anything,
you know.
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I'm still pissed at you.
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I wouldn't have it any other way.
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- Hi.
- Hank, I told you.
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I know you told me,
but I wanted to see for myself.
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You're convalescing quite nicely.
Quite nicely, indeed.
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Thank you very much.
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00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,800
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some food on the stove.
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You're hungry, are you?
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Hank, I'm making myself
something to eat.
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Wouldn't you rather go out to dinner,
you know, blow the stink off?
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Not that you ever stink, sometimes the
morning breath, but I don't mind that.
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I can kiss right through that shit.
I love it, actually.
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Your effluvium has always been
refreshing to me.
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- Okay.
- Like cucumber lemonade...
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...or cucumber spa water.
- Hank, are these words for me or for you?
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For both of us, Karen. Wordplay,
foreplay, it's all the same thing.
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You know what? I'm exhausted.
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I want to go lie down. It's just, like...
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Oh, is that an invite?
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JK, as the kids say. JK.
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Come on, I'll provide the transpo.
I won't try to finger you while I drive.
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- Please.
- I promise.
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I might try to gauge your heat, though,
over the clothes.
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I am not a fucking animal.
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You are making it really hard
for me to say no.
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Allow me to appeal
to the foodie in you.
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It's at a new place.
A pop-up, if you will.
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It's all the rage, four stars.
The blogosphere is abuzz.
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- That is so mean.
- I know. I know.
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You know I love trying new restaurants.
Don't say that shit.
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I do know that. Karen?
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Something is burning.
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I do believe your sad,
little solo dinner is ruined.
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- Fire!
- Oh, my.
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Okay, I see you didn't
forget your wallet.
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- Nope.
- This is a new pop-up restaurant?
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Yep.
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So let's get it over with.
I'm fucking starving.
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Oh, I see what you're doing here,
Karen.
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You're establishing
an attitude to combat...
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...the romantic mood
that I've established here.
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And you know what?
I'm okay with that.
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Actually gives me
something to work with.
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In fact, it's the very essence of drama.
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A guy wants something,
something stands in his way.
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- Little Engine That Could, same thing.
- Oh, my God.
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Hank, just shut the fuck up.
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Refresh yourself.
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Have a drink.
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In vino veritas, or something like that.
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In wine, there is truth, I believe.
In whiskey, there may be a little more.
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- In tequila, there's a lot of truth.
- Okay, great. Where are the Runkles?
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Those guys? Yeah, they went out to
dinner on Abbot Kinney.
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That little pop-up
I was telling you about.
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What? They got to go there?
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You know I wanted to try that place.
Why didn't you just take me there?
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Because I thought this would be
way more charming.
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Dinner at Charlie and Marcy's house?
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Come on, a dinner slaved over by yours
truly at an empty Malibu beach house?
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- This place is ours for hours.
- Hank.
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- Yes.
- Look at me.
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I am not gonna sleep with you.
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- I have no such expectations.
- Bullshit.
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What is all this for
if it's not to pry my legs apart?
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I wanted to do this for you.
You deserve it.
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I mean, ever since I've come back,
I've been adrift.
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Obviously Levon rocked my world.
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I've been down some roads
that have led to dirty back alleys...
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...but through it all,
I've kept my eye on the prize.
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- Hank.
- Yes.
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Aren't you tired?
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I mean, don't you just, like,
want to start again with someone new?
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No. God, no. Is that what you want?
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Yeah. I mean, sometimes. Sure.
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Why would I find a new life when I
haven't perfected the good old one?
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Well, exactly.
Maybe you can't perfect it.
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I mean, at a certain point,
it just, you know, it is what it is.
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- And then we die.
- I don't agree.
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I do not agree.
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See, I've learned a lot about myself
during our time in the sun.
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And through it all, I have only ever
wanted one thing: You.
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Maybe wanting is not enough.
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- Isn't it, though?
- I don't think so.
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- I disagree.
- Yeah, but it's not a debate.
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- It's not something you can win.
- Not trying to win anything.
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Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
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You're always, like, trying a new
angle, like this, you know.
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Some huge, grand, romantic gesture.
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What grand, romantic gesture?
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What we really need to do
is just look at our history...
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...and realize it doesn't work.
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I mean, we don't work.
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Now, now, Karen, let's not turn this
into some dry history lesson.
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Let's just enjoy this glorious meal, okay?
Have a bite, have another sip of wine.
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Let's, you know,
savor each other's company.
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- You said that already.
- I did?
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- Yeah.
- Well, it's true.
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Hank?
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- This is really good.
- I know, right?
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- Did you make this by yourself?
- Yeah, yeah.
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No.
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00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:06,254
I tried, but I failed miserably. What I made
looked like sick on a plate, tasted worse.
130
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:12,422
So I went out and I procured
some high-end takeout, full disclosure.
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- I'm sorry.
- That's okay, sweetie.
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You see that? You are charmed
by my failed attempts to charm you.
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- Yeah, a little.
- Have more wine.
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There's truth in it, you know.
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There's someone at the door.
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- Hi. Not a good time.
- Hi.
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00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:38,418
I'm sorry. I just... I felt bad about things,
and I wanted to see how you were doing.
138
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- I'm well.
- And how's Karen?
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- She's well...
- She's fine.
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Oh, hi. Oh, I'm so sorry.
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Oh, God, I had no idea.
I'll be on my way.
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- No, please, stay, stay.
- Don't be silly.
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00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:53,367
- You're in the middle of something.
- Just dinner.
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What do you mean, "just dinner"?
Just dinner.
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Please stay.
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00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,571
We need to get to know one another.
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Our paths are gonna be
crossing here and there, right?
148
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:07,582
Why don't you guys, you know, make a
date to meet for coffee next week?
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- Want some wine?
- That's a good idea.
150
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,748
- After tonight.
- I would love a glass of wine.
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00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,721
It's kind of good. Here.
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- Thank you, Karen.
- You're welcome, Julia.
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00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,167
This is so great.
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00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,407
- And having a kid with him.
- Holy shit, right?
155
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:35,410
This is still so great.
156
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,811
Yeah. Could we have
some more wine, please?
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00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:41,750
- Do you have any dessert?
- Oh, I'd be happy to, Karen.
158
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:44,151
- Hi.
- What? What's wrong?
159
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:45,483
What's not wrong?
160
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:49,458
We go to dinner, and our credit cards
get declined, all of them.
161
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:52,223
Runks got pissy. They called the cops.
162
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,730
It was a whole big to-do.
163
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,096
Could've left the door
open for me, you know.
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00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,067
You knew I was coming in.
165
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,938
Just slamming it like that,
that's very rude.
166
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:05,339
We need to stick together here, Marcy.
Hello.
167
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:06,603
- Hello.
- Hi.
168
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:10,044
You invited Julia
to your romantic dinner with Karen?
169
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,116
You dirty dog, you.
170
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,083
- I just stopped by unannounced.
- Oh, I see.
171
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:16,619
- Marcy Runkle.
- Hi.
172
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:19,917
- Your kid's a doll.
- Thank you so much.
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00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,559
You have the nicest friends.
174
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:25,686
Marcy Runkle, would you like perhaps to
continue our propositional conversation...
175
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,059
...in the bedroom maybe?
176
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,793
No, I would like to seek
outside counsel.
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00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,231
Karenina, Karenina.
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00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,929
Now that you're better,
can I ask you a question?
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00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:36,131
- Anything.
- Okay.
180
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,971
- Stu wants to sleep with me again.
- Of course he does.
181
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,743
For a million dollars.
182
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,039
What?
183
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,478
He would pay you a million dollars...
184
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,243
...to sleep with you?
- Yes.
185
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,786
Would he pay me a million dollars
to sleep with me?
186
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,924
What the fuck, Karen?
That's disgusting.
187
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,219
- What? It's a lot of money.
- Gluten-free artisanal custard tort.
188
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:57,294
That's lovely.
189
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:02,222
- Is Stu the big, bald producer guy?
- Yeah, that's right.
190
00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:06,269
I saw the outline of his penis
at the table read and it was freakishly big.
191
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:10,603
Yeah, that's my ex. Anyway, listen,
he wouldn't be into you, honey.
192
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,869
He's only into tiny,
petite little fuck dolls.
193
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:15,605
That's my girl:
Tiny, little, petite fuck doll.
194
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,181
- Okay, so should I do it?
- No. No.
195
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:19,909
That's my girl.
196
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,213
- But we are fucking broke.
- I know.
197
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,650
Jesus Christ.
198
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,347
Julia. Julia.
199
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:29,156
Would you fuck a guy
for a million dollars?
200
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:32,354
He's got a great big cock,
fills you right up.
201
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:33,623
Jesus, Marcy.
202
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,790
I have never been
that much of a size queen.
203
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,766
I prefer a pretty penis.
204
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,906
That's right, baby.
205
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,332
I'm sorry, Karen.
It's just... It's very confusing.
206
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:47,343
And you invited her to join us, so...
207
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,847
It's true. We have both
experienced his penis, and it...
208
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,918
- It is pretty.
- It's okay.
209
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:55,951
I've seen it. I tugged on it...
210
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,352
...a couple times accidentally.
- Disgusting.
211
00:10:58,524 --> 00:11:01,322
It's a nice one, smooth helmet.
Good job, kid.
212
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,689
I'm there with you.
Good-Iooking cock, no homo.
213
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,855
- You guys are swell.
- Well...
214
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,568
Krull, my good man.
215
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:14,172
- Welcome. Welcome.
- Seriously, with this fucking guy again?
216
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,138
Hello, love.
I've been seeing a lot of you lately...
217
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:21,143
...in my dreams, me daydreams,
me wide-awake dreams...
218
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:22,837
...when I'm tugging meself.
219
00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:25,316
- Okay.
- That's neat. Thanks.
220
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:29,414
Charlie, are you just gonna let
this degenerate talk to me like that?
221
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:32,148
This degenerate happens
to be a client, Marcy.
222
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:34,554
Besides, he is complimenting you.
223
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,194
- Right, Krull?
- Absolutely, love.
224
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,729
I notice you never have a problem
when a certain perverted millionaire...
225
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,696
...talks to you like that.
- E*xcuse me.
226
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,597
I was married
to that perverted millionaire.
227
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,364
- Hello, Hank.
- Krull, good to see you, my man.
228
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,940
And you, buddy.
I drove him back, you know.
229
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,543
- Oh, nice.
- On the back of me bike.
230
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,873
- For you.
- You could've given him some suction.
231
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,675
- That was a long ride.
- Bumpy too.
232
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:00,114
- It kind of numbed out my taint.
- That happens.
233
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:02,311
- Who's this?
- Hi, I'm Julia.
234
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,546
Hello, love.
235
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,185
Krull. Rock 'n' roll butler.
236
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,120
- Cool.
- Speaking of such things...
237
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,723
...I got some pages
for you there, Churchill.
238
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,231
Forgot about the time
I walked in on Atticus...
239
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,064
...and he was blowing himself,
and I surprised him.
240
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:23,538
He ended up blowing a load on the pair
of us. I got combat pay for that one.
241
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:25,074
You see, Marcy? You see?
242
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,213
The kind of salacious details
that sells rock 'n' roll memoirs.
243
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:29,870
Okay.
244
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,646
Hi, Levon.
245
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:37,311
- Hello, hello, hello.
- Hey, everyone.
246
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:41,221
- Mom? What are you doing here?
- I had to have a word with your dad.
247
00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:43,884
Stay away from him
till he puts a ring on that finger.
248
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,861
- What's that about?
- Don't take advantage of my moms, yo.
249
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,897
Nobody's taking advantage of her, yo.
250
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,662
She's horny, single,
and emotionally vulnerable now.
251
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,771
Honey, that's enough.
Who is your friend?
252
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,066
Can I get you a drink?
253
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:59,234
- Why aren't you answering your phone?
- I've been busy hosting.
254
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,902
- Who's your friend?
- This is Mi.
255
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:03,673
Hey, hang on. I know Mi.
256
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,881
I knew you look familiar, big boy.
257
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,180
You pick me up on bike.
258
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,586
That's right,
outside the All-American Burger.
259
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:14,953
Yeah, you jerk off on me.
260
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:17,891
- That's a good memory.
- Mi got good head for trick.
261
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:20,497
Yeah, you sure do, darling.
You sure do.
262
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:25,629
I went to that comic store on Sunset,
met her when I was coming out.
263
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,205
- She was super nice, real friendly.
- Yeah, I bet.
264
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,702
I owe her more money
than I currently have on my person.
265
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,811
- What did you do?
- E*verything, dude.
266
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,846
- Around the fucking world, in the butt.
- Holy shit.
267
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:39,007
Made me wear a condom.
It was hard to come.
268
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:41,153
Too much. How much?
269
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,652
I don't want to limit
your sexual exploration...
270
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,350
...but you got to lay off the hookers.
It's illegal, and there's diseases.
271
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:50,791
No, Mama. I make him put bag on it.
272
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,056
- Mi.
- That's good, I guess.
273
00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:54,790
He had a tough time:
274
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:58,698
- I did. I'm sorry, Mom.
- Not what a mother wants for her son.
275
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:01,965
- No.
- Julia, I told them that the last time.
276
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:03,631
- You did?
- Yes.
277
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:07,176
- Thank you, Karen. That is so sweet.
- You're so welcome. I am so sorry.
278
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,973
Yes.
279
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,744
- Rath. What are you doing here?
- Hey. Is Hank around?
280
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:18,856
Hank, sorry to bother you at home,
but a friend of yours insisted.
281
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,355
- Moody.
- E*ddie Nero, as I live and breathe.
282
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,737
- Put me back in my chair.
- Okay. All right.
283
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:37,071
No. It's okay.
284
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,602
I'll do it myself.
285
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:49,213
Dare I ask why you're in a wheelchair?
286
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,754
Have you finally
had your genitals removed?
287
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:56,520
No, don't be silly. That was just a flight
of fancy, an A-lister's daydream.
288
00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:58,686
I thought I'd lost all my loads.
289
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:02,698
Then, your lovely soul mate
taught me otherwise.
290
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:04,897
- Karen.
- E*ddie.
291
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,305
Let me pepper you with kisses.
292
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:10,840
- How are you? It's so nice to see you.
- It's so good to see you, Karen.
293
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,443
Good.
294
00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:15,473
- Okay.
- Can you feel it?
295
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,913
This is the site of our erotic encounter.
296
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:23,783
The wood of this humble abode
has absorbed my seed, my very essence.
297
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:26,390
Are you as moist as I am?
298
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,219
Hey, pussy fart. How are you?
299
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,453
- Good, E*ddie. How are you?
- No, no.
300
00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:32,153
- I'm on duty.
- Of course.
301
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:35,323
- For my character that I will be essaying...
- Karen?
302
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,334
...in an upcoming episode
of TV's Santa Monica Cops...
303
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,096
...which I have agreed to do.
304
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:43,241
Because all of the finest movie stars
are coming to television.
305
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:47,106
And why not? Two days on a set,
plus a meaty monologue...
306
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,645
...equals E*mmy nomination.
307
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:54,445
I'm going for the motherfucking E*GOT:
E*mmy, Golden Globe, Oscar, Tony.
308
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:58,818
And for that, I will provide sexual favors
to Neil Patrick Harris, if needed.
309
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,962
Anyway, Moody, I need you
to write me a monologue.
310
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:08,857
I miss our collaborations.
311
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,161
Rath is a fine writer, but he's terse.
312
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:15,337
I need someone who can provide
a glorious golden shower of verbiage.
313
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,532
And the E*mmy goes...
314
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,473
...to E*dward fucking Nero.
315
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,307
Good God, there are beautiful
women around here tonight.
316
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,039
Glad I still have all my loads.
317
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:27,352
We could have
quite the bukkake party later.
318
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,888
My character,
he cannot achieve an erection.
319
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:34,617
He's been robbed of his manhood.
But he's still a force to be reckoned with.
320
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,259
Hey. I know you.
321
00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:41,558
From Sunset and Gardner.
322
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:45,226
Hey. That right, motherfucker.
323
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:48,703
Did not recognize you
with the mustache.
324
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:52,669
Hey. You poop on me.
325
00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:54,803
You're welcome.
326
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:08,353
Good news. Rath's hitting it off
with Karen over there.
327
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,427
- Why is that good news?
- Good news for me.
328
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,564
Staying the fuck away
from my mom for once.
329
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:15,757
Guess who's chatting up
your fucking mom, is E*ddie fucking Nero.
330
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:19,995
Yeah, we'll see. That guy will get the
fucking stink finger if he tries anything.
331
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:23,664
No. Stink finger is powerless over him.
Dude poops on people.
332
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,341
That's fucking unsettling.
333
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:28,742
- You think?
- Yeah.
334
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:33,414
Hi. What's going on here?
335
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,645
- Hey.
- Hey.
336
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:39,416
Well, I was just having the greatest
conversation with your boss.
337
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:42,116
Yeah, well, he's not really
my boss, per se.
338
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,091
Well, how else would you put it, Hank?
339
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,929
I like to think of us
as compatriots, you know...
340
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:51,695
...birds of a feather,
kindred spirits, writers, men.
341
00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:54,304
- Men.
- I hired you. I could fire you.
342
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:57,636
- I'd say that makes me your boss.
- Okay, fine. Yeah, be that way.
343
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,210
You know,
this evening started out as...
344
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:03,109
...an attempted intimate dinner
for the two of us.
345
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:06,308
- And at some point, I would like to...
- Yeah.
346
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:08,248
...get back to...
- It's okay, sweetie.
347
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:11,685
...that particular...
- I can... I can catch up with you anytime.
348
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:16,157
I mean, you know, I don't know when
I'm next gonna get to see Rick.
349
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:20,287
We could see each other as often as you
like because you aren't together, right?
350
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,366
- That's a...
- Yeah, well...
351
00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:25,867
...these things are very complicated
with Hank. I asked him about Julia.
352
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:29,405
He said he wasn't involved with her.
Next you know, he's inside of her.
353
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:32,143
Inside of her?
354
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,148
Okay. Yeah, well, why am I surprised?
355
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:39,409
I mean, of course he was.
356
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,116
It's just as well I like her, I guess.
357
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,960
- I'll get that.
- I got it. I got it.
358
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,892
- Hello, Leon.
- It's Levon.
359
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,327
Why is that so fucking hard
for people to get?
360
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:58,135
Charlie, Marcy, so sorry
to barge in on you guys like this...
361
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,635
...but I must have a word.
362
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,572
Hello, E*dward. How are you, bro?
363
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:04,970
Stu, my favorite moneyman.
364
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,739
Stu, I'm not even gonna get up off this
fucking couch to deal with this shit.
365
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,350
First of all, thanks to E*ddie Nero here,
my fucking knee is killing me.
366
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,612
Besides, everyone knows, Stu.
E*veryone knows.
367
00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:18,055
Well, in that case...
368
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:22,419
Look away, Marcy. Look away!
369
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:24,994
But it's so beautiful.
370
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,156
And it's all yours. Just say the word...
371
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:31,700
...and sign right here
on the dotted line...
372
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:34,338
...and if you could initial here and here.
373
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,804
Stu, what is it about this woman?
374
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:40,240
E*dward, I'm so glad you asked me.
375
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:44,345
E*ntering her is like walking into the most
wonderful candy store in the world.
376
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:49,820
Spending time inside of her is akin to
cocooning yourself in the softest...
377
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:52,047
...most exotic of silks.
378
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:55,591
I remember I used to be able to press
on her cute little tummy...
379
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,956
...and feel myself
just throbbing away in there.
380
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,190
The hum was electric.
You have to remember that, Marcy.
381
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,027
Yeah, I guess I do.
382
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,693
I'm gonna throw the fuck up.
383
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:10,399
If sex is what allows us
to transcend this average, everyday...
384
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:15,070
...humdrum existence and get us
that much closer to God...
385
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:19,377
...then it was with Marcy that I came
within spitting distance of my maker.
386
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:25,780
What has happened to you, Stu?
Have you lost your fucking mind?
387
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,153
I need to experience
this pint-sized powerhouse.
388
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:29,487
I've seen her go at it.
389
00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:32,221
She's like a feral cat
with a greedy snatch.
390
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,262
Greedy snatch.
Give me, give me, give me.
391
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:36,060
All for it, none for you.
392
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,066
- What?
- Consider this a signing bonus.
393
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,568
Ten percent up front.
394
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,303
Do with it what you will.
395
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,574
We have to talk.
396
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,802
Come here.
397
00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:48,805
- Listen to me.
- What?
398
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,382
This kind of cash could get us
out of all of our immediate debt.
399
00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:55,111
Marcy, I have put out feelers
about the Krull book...
400
00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:58,313
...and I could get us
at least that much.
401
00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:00,981
- Almost.
- What about next month, the month after?
402
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:03,684
Runkle, don't kid yourself.
Things are tough out there.
403
00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:06,956
I'm offering you some sweet relief.
I mean, give yourself a break.
404
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:09,794
And you got to think about little Stuart.
405
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:11,968
My namesake.
406
00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:15,629
Stu, you have got to stop
disrespecting me in my own home!
407
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:18,469
Oh, this is clearly a rental.
408
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:23,941
- Hit him.
- No.
409
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:30,914
Okay, Runkle,
now you pushed me too far.
410
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,250
I'm gonna...
411
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,426
Stop it.
412
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:40,758
Charlie.
413
00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:50,934
My boy Runkle's got some
serious retard strength right now.
414
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:52,440
- Yeah. Get him.
- Come on.
415
00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:54,770
No fighting.
416
00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:57,608
- Not on my watch.
- Holy shit. That thing is real?
417
00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:00,718
When I'm in research mode, I go all out.
I'm not fucking around.
418
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:03,582
Okay, I'm calling the network.
I cannot work with this guy.
419
00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:06,690
- I thought Hashtag was bad.
- No one should fight like this.
420
00:22:06,858 --> 00:22:08,257
No man should fight like this.
421
00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:12,796
Last time I was here, I fought much like
this with a man named Hank Moody...
422
00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:15,899
...who bested me that night
and deservedly so.
423
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:17,535
And do you know why?
424
00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:20,069
Because I slept with his woman.
425
00:22:20,238 --> 00:22:22,763
Wheelchair or not,
I will kick you in the fucking cock.
426
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:26,206
There's no need.
I have a confession to make.
427
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:29,912
I did not penetrate
your beloved that night.
428
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:33,176
I fully intended to, but I hadn't come
with a woman in so long...
429
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,081
...that I merely...
430
00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:38,088
...made wet in my tunic.
431
00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:44,084
She did me the great honor of making it
seem like we made sweet love.
432
00:22:44,262 --> 00:22:45,991
Why she is such an incredible woman.
433
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:48,724
What is this, fucking Christmas?
This is great news.
434
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,060
Why didn't you tell me?
435
00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:53,163
Because I didn't want
to betray E*ddie's confidence.
436
00:22:53,672 --> 00:22:55,663
Her loveliness is giving me
an erection now.
437
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:58,901
In spite of my best efforts
to stay in character.
438
00:22:59,077 --> 00:23:02,444
You know, and also,
I kind of wanted you to think that we had.
439
00:23:02,614 --> 00:23:05,674
- Oh, really, you did, did you?
- Karen.
440
00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:09,377
If you would grant me another chance,
I am reasonably sure...
441
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:12,523
...I could penetrate you in a
satisfactory manner, Karen.
442
00:23:14,259 --> 00:23:17,387
Although you would have to lift me up
off of the chair into the bed.
443
00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:19,189
E*ver had sex
with a handicapped man?
444
00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:23,562
E*ddie, I think we had a moment,
and I think that moment's passed.
445
00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:29,130
Thank you for your honesty.
What about you, Goldilocks?
446
00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:32,470
- You ever made love to a paraplegic?
- Actually, I did once.
447
00:23:32,644 --> 00:23:35,704
I really liked him,
but then Levon scared him away.
448
00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:39,749
He told him if he tried anything funny,
he'd push him into traffic.
449
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,046
What? I was young and angry, okay?
I didn't have a fucking father.
450
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:45,913
- Come on.
- He was really good at oral sex.
451
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,188
Gross. That's fucking foul.
452
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:51,056
- I should've pushed that gimp into traffic.
- Not nice.
453
00:23:51,229 --> 00:23:53,993
He wasn't as good as yours truly?
454
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:56,396
Sorry to say, yes.
I mean, he was really good.
455
00:23:56,568 --> 00:24:00,231
- That's rough.
- Not any better than E*dward R. Nero...
456
00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:02,896
...who is nothing
if not a cunning linguist.
457
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,441
You know, I'm a single mom, E*ddie.
And I'm not easily wooed.
458
00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:10,138
I'm a single father with millions of dollars
and unlimited loads.
459
00:24:10,315 --> 00:24:13,307
"Unlimited loads"?
460
00:24:15,253 --> 00:24:17,187
E*mpty your pockets, bitches.
461
00:24:17,355 --> 00:24:19,482
E*veryone do exactly what she says.
462
00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:24,288
I am in extraordinary shape, but I do not
think I could survive a bullet in the head.
463
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,595
- Come on!
- Are you fucking kidding?
464
00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:31,429
Nope. Hurry. Now.
465
00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:35,098
- I thought you used to be a cop.
- Shut up.
466
00:24:35,273 --> 00:24:37,867
I was a fucking transit cop, okay?
467
00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:41,012
What difference does it make anyway?
I don't have a gun on me.
468
00:24:51,423 --> 00:24:53,391
E*dward!
469
00:24:55,861 --> 00:24:57,624
Later, bitches.
470
00:25:00,699 --> 00:25:03,031
- Bye, Mi. I had fun tonight.
- Hey. That's mine.
471
00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:10,265
Aren't you glad we didn't go
to some boring place on Abbot Kinney?
472
00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:13,070
Do you think E*ddie's gonna be okay?
473
00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:15,372
He seemed all right
loading into the ambulance.
474
00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:18,243
He asked me to e-mail him
a draft of the monologue ASAP...
475
00:25:18,416 --> 00:25:21,681
...so he can start learning his lines.
476
00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:24,583
It's not like he's actually
human or anything.
477
00:25:24,756 --> 00:25:26,519
I think he's gonna be fine.
478
00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:31,526
Isn't it crazy how nothing good ever
happens in Charlie and Marcy's house?
479
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:35,723
It's like that place was built
on some Indian burial ground...
480
00:25:35,901 --> 00:25:39,735
...or something.
- Yeah, like a bunch of horny...
481
00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:44,342
...Malibu Indians rolling around
underneath there. I don't know.
482
00:25:44,976 --> 00:25:47,376
- Good night.
- Good night.
483
00:25:50,115 --> 00:25:52,640
At least I learned
that you didn't do sex with E*ddie...
484
00:25:52,817 --> 00:25:56,617
...so I will sleep easier tonight.
485
00:25:56,788 --> 00:26:00,189
And I learned
that you recently did do sex...
486
00:26:00,358 --> 00:26:03,350
...with the mother of your first child.
487
00:26:03,528 --> 00:26:06,053
I'm sorry about that.
488
00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:08,028
Why?
489
00:26:08,199 --> 00:26:11,862
It's your life. If there's something
about it you don't like, you change it.
490
00:26:12,037 --> 00:26:13,527
I am trying.
491
00:26:13,705 --> 00:26:16,799
Hank, again, I ask you why.
492
00:26:16,975 --> 00:26:19,967
You thrive on chaos.
493
00:26:20,445 --> 00:26:26,213
I mean, you need to be in the middle of
some kind of mess of your own creation.
494
00:26:26,384 --> 00:26:27,851
Right?
495
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:32,280
That's what makes you attractive...
496
00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:37,019
...and also impossible to live with.
497
00:26:38,563 --> 00:26:41,327
"Impossible" is a very strong word,
Karen.
498
00:26:44,869 --> 00:26:46,166
Hank, I love you...
499
00:26:50,041 --> 00:26:52,441
...but I can't be with you.
500
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,436
When will you accept that?
501
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:57,411
Never.
502
00:26:59,417 --> 00:27:02,614
It's also what makes me attractive.
503
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,818
Yeah.
504
00:27:06,992 --> 00:27:09,187
And very lonely.
Ripped By mstoll