1
00:00:00,861 --> 00:00:02,395
Okay, I have a question:
2
00:00:02,529 --> 00:00:05,331
This sauce recipe calls
for a cup of onions,
3
00:00:05,366 --> 00:00:07,367
but all of our cups are different sizes.
4
00:00:08,435 --> 00:00:09,736
Relax, Dude.
5
00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:12,338
I'm pretty sure they
always mean the biggest.
6
00:00:13,641 --> 00:00:15,408
I'm just trying to do
something special for Georgie
7
00:00:15,442 --> 00:00:16,676
and I want to do it right.
8
00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:18,745
This isn't too weird for
you, is it? Us dating?
9
00:00:18,779 --> 00:00:21,781
No, not at all. I can tell when
two people are meant to be together,
10
00:00:21,815 --> 00:00:23,416
like you and Georgie...
11
00:00:23,450 --> 00:00:25,718
- Look at you be all mature.
- ...And me and Riley.
12
00:00:25,753 --> 00:00:27,687
Look at you being all irrational.
13
00:00:27,721 --> 00:00:30,556
No, Dude, it's true. We've
been hanging out a lot lately
14
00:00:30,591 --> 00:00:32,392
and I can tell that something has changed.
15
00:00:32,426 --> 00:00:34,794
Yeah, she doesn't seem to
want you dead so much anymore.
16
00:00:34,828 --> 00:00:37,597
I know. Right? It's awesome!
17
00:00:37,631 --> 00:00:39,666
I definitely won her friendship back,
18
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,801
now I just gotta convince her
that we're destined to be together.
19
00:00:41,835 --> 00:00:44,203
- How do you plan on doing that?
- I just gotta figure out
20
00:00:44,237 --> 00:00:45,471
a way for us to spend some time alone...
21
00:00:45,506 --> 00:00:47,640
But I gotta be subtle and not too obvious.
22
00:00:47,675 --> 00:00:51,844
Knock knock! Hey, so guess
who gets to spend 30 hours
23
00:00:51,879 --> 00:00:54,814
on some stupid train to go
to some stupid family reunion.
24
00:00:54,848 --> 00:00:56,816
I'll go! Can I go? Let me go! It'll be fun.
25
00:00:58,786 --> 00:01:01,454
Not so subtle, but you've
got the obvious part down.
26
00:01:02,623 --> 00:01:04,724
- Still afraid of flying?
- Oh no, I love flying.
27
00:01:04,758 --> 00:01:08,795
It's the plummeting 30,000 feet to my
death that I'm just not a huge fan of.
28
00:01:08,829 --> 00:01:11,531
So Danny can watch Emma
29
00:01:11,565 --> 00:01:13,700
and we'll have ourselves
a little train adventure.
30
00:01:13,734 --> 00:01:15,535
Should be fun...
31
00:01:15,569 --> 00:01:16,669
and innocent.
32
00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:21,607
- What are you up to?
- Nothing.
33
00:01:21,642 --> 00:01:23,342
Why would I be up to anything?
34
00:01:23,377 --> 00:01:24,677
You are so distrustful.
35
00:01:24,712 --> 00:01:27,447
We'll be all alone, right?
36
00:01:27,481 --> 00:01:29,482
And now I see what you're up to.
37
00:01:29,516 --> 00:01:32,618
Okay. Ben, if we do this,
38
00:01:32,653 --> 00:01:36,422
"all aboard" only means "get on the train."
39
00:01:36,457 --> 00:01:37,724
Okay?
40
00:01:37,758 --> 00:01:39,792
We are just friends. You got it?
41
00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:41,494
Yeah, I got it.
42
00:01:43,530 --> 00:01:45,798
(Mouths)
43
00:01:45,833 --> 00:01:47,433
- (Softly)
- Emma.
44
00:01:48,669 --> 00:01:49,802
(Theme music plays)
45
00:01:49,837 --> 00:01:52,705
♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪
46
00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:55,808
♪ can take your life
and change direction. ♪
47
00:01:55,809 --> 00:01:58,809
- Synced and corrected by Retrojex -
- www.addic7ed.com -
48
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,348
- (Clicks)
- (Clears throat): Tucker Dobbs audition
49
00:02:02,382 --> 00:02:04,450
for "The Mary Hart Show," take one.
50
00:02:07,454 --> 00:02:08,688
- Okay.
- Three...
51
00:02:08,722 --> 00:02:10,323
two, one.
52
00:02:10,357 --> 00:02:12,692
♪ Mary puts the "Hart" in "heart" ♪
53
00:02:12,726 --> 00:02:13,760
♪ Mary! ♪
54
00:02:16,697 --> 00:02:19,565
Hello, everyone, and welcome
to "The Mary Hart Show."
55
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,733
I'm Mary Hart,
56
00:02:20,768 --> 00:02:24,437
and I'd like to introduce
you to my new co-host.
57
00:02:24,471 --> 00:02:26,572
Hello, America. I'm Tucker Dobbs.
58
00:02:26,607 --> 00:02:29,642
Now sit back, relax and let me tuck you in.
59
00:02:29,676 --> 00:02:30,810
(Laughs)
60
00:02:30,844 --> 00:02:32,745
"Tuck you in"?
61
00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:35,381
- Yeah.
- Congratulations.
62
00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:37,750
You've managed to be boring and creepy.
63
00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:40,787
Okay, would it kill you
to be a little supportive?
64
00:02:40,821 --> 00:02:42,789
Hey, you want support, stop wearing boxers.
65
00:02:44,725 --> 00:02:47,393
You said Mary was looking for a co-host.
66
00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:51,364
I mean, I'm sure that she
wants one with some pizzaz.
67
00:02:51,398 --> 00:02:53,800
Well, the co-host was the network's idea.
68
00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:55,668
I mean, all she wants
is a bigger shoe budget
69
00:02:55,702 --> 00:02:57,837
- and a masseuse named Julio.
- Yeah.
70
00:02:57,871 --> 00:03:00,406
Well, Tucker, I think you should go for it.
71
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,741
Really? You think I'd make a good co-host?
72
00:03:01,775 --> 00:03:03,609
No, I think you could pass
for a masseuse named Julio.
73
00:03:03,644 --> 00:03:06,546
- Waza.
- (Mimics gunshots)
74
00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:09,348
All right, okay. How's this? How's this?
75
00:03:09,383 --> 00:03:12,518
Hello, ladies. Let me tuckle your fancy.
76
00:03:12,553 --> 00:03:13,753
(Laughs)
77
00:03:17,624 --> 00:03:19,692
Well, I don't know if that's a good intro,
78
00:03:19,726 --> 00:03:21,527
but it does explain why you're single.
79
00:03:23,397 --> 00:03:26,399
Oh, Ben, thank you so much
for getting the tickets.
80
00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:30,503
That's so sweet. I can't believe
we have our own compartment.
81
00:03:30,537 --> 00:03:32,438
That is so...
82
00:03:32,472 --> 00:03:34,340
Just like you,
83
00:03:34,374 --> 00:03:36,375
because there is only one bed.
84
00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:38,544
Why is there only one bed?
85
00:03:38,579 --> 00:03:39,745
And what exactly did you think
86
00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:41,814
was going to happen in this one bed?
87
00:03:41,849 --> 00:03:43,583
I'm sure it's just a mistake.
88
00:03:43,617 --> 00:03:45,451
I had nothing to do with this.
89
00:03:45,485 --> 00:03:47,453
Ah. Mr. Wheeler,
90
00:03:47,487 --> 00:03:49,522
the bed's been made up
just as you requested.
91
00:03:49,556 --> 00:03:53,459
Sounds like you and the missus have
quite the romantic night planned.
92
00:03:54,628 --> 00:03:56,362
Romantic night?
93
00:03:56,396 --> 00:03:59,498
I don't know where he'd get
such an inappropriate idea.
94
00:03:59,533 --> 00:04:00,566
From your e-mail.
95
00:04:01,635 --> 00:04:03,636
Ben Wheeler, I...
96
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:06,339
I told you this train
wasn't going to "Sex Town".
97
00:04:06,373 --> 00:04:08,407
God, you have a one-track mind.
98
00:04:08,442 --> 00:04:10,443
Get out. Get out. Get
out, get out, get out.
99
00:04:10,477 --> 00:04:11,711
- Oh God. Both of you.
- (Sighs)
100
00:04:16,416 --> 00:04:18,551
You were supposed to make
up the bed after dinner.
101
00:04:18,585 --> 00:04:20,419
Well, it's dinnertime somewhere.
102
00:04:22,456 --> 00:04:23,656
(Bonnie laughs)
103
00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:26,392
And that's all the time we have for today.
104
00:04:26,426 --> 00:04:29,395
Until next time, let's
tuck it out, America.
105
00:04:31,732 --> 00:04:34,367
So? What do you think?
106
00:04:34,401 --> 00:04:36,469
When they told me Tucker
wanted to submit a tape,
107
00:04:36,503 --> 00:04:38,571
my first thought was, "who?"
108
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,676
But now I have to say I
think I found my new co-host.
109
00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:45,578
Really?! You did?!
110
00:04:45,612 --> 00:04:47,780
Oh, this is like my dream come true.
111
00:04:47,814 --> 00:04:51,517
- She is hilarious.
- (Laughs)
112
00:04:51,551 --> 00:04:53,653
Yes, she is.
113
00:04:53,687 --> 00:04:57,390
Wait wait wait, hold up.
He... she who-sh... who?
114
00:04:57,424 --> 00:05:01,327
Bonnie. She is exactly what
I'm looking for in a co-host...
115
00:05:01,361 --> 00:05:05,398
Someone who makes my pretty and
funny seem prettier and funnier.
116
00:05:06,733 --> 00:05:09,368
How soon do you think we can
get her in for a camera test?
117
00:05:09,403 --> 00:05:11,404
Wait wait wait, Bonnie Wheeler?
118
00:05:11,438 --> 00:05:13,706
Okay, are you sure there wasn't anyone else
119
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:16,575
in that audition that
might've caught your eye?
120
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:20,379
Well, you were, but you
were just boring and creepy.
121
00:05:21,615 --> 00:05:24,317
(Chuckles)
122
00:05:24,351 --> 00:05:27,320
Mary, I was just being silly,
123
00:05:27,354 --> 00:05:29,388
- you silly.
- (Laughs)
124
00:05:29,423 --> 00:05:31,457
- Don't ever touch me again.
- Yes, ma'am.
125
00:05:31,491 --> 00:05:33,459
Okay.
126
00:05:33,493 --> 00:05:35,528
Look, the only problem is
127
00:05:35,562 --> 00:05:39,565
I'm just not so sure that Bonnie
is that interested in the job.
128
00:05:41,368 --> 00:05:45,438
- (Shouts)
- Yeah!
129
00:05:45,472 --> 00:05:49,542
(Laughs)
130
00:05:49,576 --> 00:05:53,512
Oh yeah!
131
00:05:53,547 --> 00:05:56,349
Yes, I'm gonna be on TV!
132
00:05:58,452 --> 00:06:00,386
(Sniffling)
133
00:06:01,521 --> 00:06:03,589
Oh, you stop judging
me. You cry all the time.
134
00:06:05,559 --> 00:06:07,626
- What does it say to do next?
- (Cellphone ringing)
135
00:06:09,529 --> 00:06:11,664
- (Beeps)
- Hello?
136
00:06:11,698 --> 00:06:13,733
So this whole Riley thing
is a complete disaster.
137
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,568
What is wrong with me?
138
00:06:15,602 --> 00:06:17,403
I've tried to tell you
that a gabillion times,
139
00:06:17,437 --> 00:06:18,604
and now you're ready to hear it?
140
00:06:18,638 --> 00:06:21,674
- (Call waiting beeps)
- Hang on a sec.
141
00:06:21,708 --> 00:06:23,709
- Hello?
- Hi. Oh my God,
142
00:06:23,744 --> 00:06:26,312
why is your brother just such a jerk?
143
00:06:26,346 --> 00:06:28,381
Weird. I was about to
answer the same question.
144
00:06:28,415 --> 00:06:30,349
We just got back to friends
145
00:06:30,384 --> 00:06:32,451
and now he wants to skip right to benefits.
146
00:06:32,486 --> 00:06:33,753
Can you hold on for like two seconds?
147
00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:35,755
- Yeah.
- (Beeps)
148
00:06:35,789 --> 00:06:37,390
I think you should move on.
149
00:06:37,424 --> 00:06:39,558
- (Scoffs)
- Move on? I have moved on.
150
00:06:39,593 --> 00:06:41,360
He's the one who keeps moving in.
151
00:06:41,395 --> 00:06:42,595
Are you not listening to me?
152
00:06:42,629 --> 00:06:45,398
- Sorry, I'll be right back.
- (Beeps)
153
00:06:45,432 --> 00:06:46,766
- Ben?
- Yeah.
154
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,567
I think you just need to move on.
155
00:06:48,602 --> 00:06:50,503
Move on? I was just starting to move in.
156
00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:51,637
Yeah, I know. I heard.
157
00:06:51,671 --> 00:06:54,440
Danny, she thinks all I care about is sex.
158
00:06:54,474 --> 00:06:56,409
- And you don't?
- (Chuckles): Well,
159
00:06:56,443 --> 00:06:58,511
I mean, yeah, it's pretty
high up on the list,
160
00:06:58,545 --> 00:07:00,513
but that's not the whole
point of this trip.
161
00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:01,114
(Beeps)
162
00:07:01,148 --> 00:07:03,449
Listen, I think you should just relax
163
00:07:03,483 --> 00:07:05,584
- and stop being so pushy.
- (Laughs): Relax?
164
00:07:05,619 --> 00:07:07,319
I... I am relaxed.
165
00:07:07,354 --> 00:07:09,321
I am about to just pushy
him right off this train.
166
00:07:09,356 --> 00:07:11,323
- Um, hold please.
- (Beeps)
167
00:07:11,358 --> 00:07:12,591
- Ben?
- Yeah.
168
00:07:12,626 --> 00:07:14,627
I think you should probably
just lay low for a while.
169
00:07:14,661 --> 00:07:16,462
Well, since she kicked me out of the cabin,
170
00:07:16,496 --> 00:07:18,330
it's gonna be kind of hard
to find a place to do that.
171
00:07:18,365 --> 00:07:20,599
- Um, hold that thought.
- (Beeps)
172
00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:22,601
I think you should probably
just lay low for a while.
173
00:07:22,636 --> 00:07:23,769
Dude, are you having a stroke?
174
00:07:23,804 --> 00:07:25,438
You literally just said that.
175
00:07:25,472 --> 00:07:27,506
- Damn it.
- (Beeps)
176
00:07:27,541 --> 00:07:28,541
- Riley?
- Yeah.
177
00:07:28,575 --> 00:07:29,708
Yeah, don't worry about Ben.
178
00:07:29,743 --> 00:07:31,377
I think he's just gonna
lay low for a while.
179
00:07:31,411 --> 00:07:33,579
- (Scoffs)
- Well, God knows he's been trying to lay
180
00:07:33,613 --> 00:07:35,481
just everywhere else.
181
00:07:36,716 --> 00:07:39,718
- Oh my God. Ben.
- Yeah, I get it.
182
00:07:39,753 --> 00:07:42,588
- He's a jerk. I know.
- No no no, his screensaver...
183
00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:46,459
It's a picture of us. Oh my
God, I remember this day so well.
184
00:07:46,493 --> 00:07:48,494
I just... I wanted it to last forever.
185
00:07:50,430 --> 00:07:51,697
God, what... what is the matter with me?
186
00:07:51,731 --> 00:07:53,532
Why am I fighting this?
187
00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:55,734
I have been pushing him away for so long
188
00:07:55,769 --> 00:07:58,337
that I can't even remember why.
189
00:07:58,371 --> 00:08:00,739
Obviously, he wants to be with me,
190
00:08:00,774 --> 00:08:04,510
and God knows I can't
stop thinking about him.
191
00:08:04,544 --> 00:08:06,512
Maybe I should just say yes.
192
00:08:06,546 --> 00:08:07,613
Ahh!
193
00:08:07,647 --> 00:08:09,448
Thank you so much, Danny.
194
00:08:09,483 --> 00:08:10,683
- You were amazing.
- (Beeps)
195
00:08:10,717 --> 00:08:14,320
- Hello?
- (Gasps)
196
00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:20,526
I won't say anything if you don't.
197
00:08:22,762 --> 00:08:24,730
(Both laughing)
198
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:28,567
Are you kidding me?
199
00:08:30,604 --> 00:08:32,304
Table for one?
200
00:08:35,817 --> 00:08:37,817
Look at him.
201
00:08:37,819 --> 00:08:39,387
Laughing, flirting.
202
00:08:39,422 --> 00:08:41,590
It's... it's like he doesn't even care.
203
00:08:41,624 --> 00:08:44,793
Oh, Peaches, it's like I always say...
204
00:08:44,827 --> 00:08:46,561
women are like trains.
205
00:08:46,596 --> 00:08:48,730
You miss one, there's
always another one coming.
206
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,867
Well, this one is going.
207
00:08:54,870 --> 00:08:57,672
So this Riley girl sounds pretty special.
208
00:08:57,707 --> 00:08:59,474
Oh, she's not just special.
209
00:08:59,508 --> 00:09:01,476
She's the one.
210
00:09:03,479 --> 00:09:05,447
I just wish I knew how
to make her see that.
211
00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:09,751
Okay, Emma,
212
00:09:09,785 --> 00:09:13,455
"Add egg, onion and salt to taste."
213
00:09:13,489 --> 00:09:15,657
Taste like what? Salt tastes like salt.
214
00:09:15,691 --> 00:09:19,628
- (Cellphone rings, beeps)
- Hello?
215
00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:21,596
- Danny.
- Oh, Tucker, perfect timing.
216
00:09:21,631 --> 00:09:23,665
- Hey, I need some advice.
- Yeah, me too.
217
00:09:23,699 --> 00:09:25,533
How many tablespoons are in a teaspoon?
218
00:09:25,568 --> 00:09:27,535
I don't know, maybe like 30?
219
00:09:27,570 --> 00:09:29,638
- Oh, thanks, Dude, I was way under.
- (Beeps)
220
00:09:32,608 --> 00:09:34,743
(Clicks, ringing)
221
00:09:34,777 --> 00:09:38,847
- What's up?
- Danny, I'm the one that called you.
222
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:41,383
I know. I said, "what's up?"
223
00:09:41,417 --> 00:09:43,618
No. No no no, before.
224
00:09:43,653 --> 00:09:44,786
You know what? Never mind.
225
00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:46,554
All right, what would you do
226
00:09:46,589 --> 00:09:49,391
if another player tried to
take your position on the team
227
00:09:49,425 --> 00:09:50,659
and you wanted to get rid of her
228
00:09:50,693 --> 00:09:52,394
but still seem like the nice guy?
229
00:09:52,428 --> 00:09:54,429
Easy. There are no girls in hockey.
230
00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:56,464
- Problem solved.
- (Call waiting beeps)
231
00:09:56,499 --> 00:09:58,466
- Hang on a sec.
- (Beeps)
232
00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:01,436
- Hello?
- Oh my God, Danny, I lost Ben.
233
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:02,737
Did you check The Lost and Found?
234
00:10:02,772 --> 00:10:04,472
No, he met someone else.
235
00:10:04,507 --> 00:10:06,708
What are... what are the
chances of that even happening?
236
00:10:06,742 --> 00:10:08,877
Well, it's Ben, so 100%?
237
00:10:08,911 --> 00:10:11,846
So what do I do now? Do I just walk away?
238
00:10:11,881 --> 00:10:13,882
- Hang on a sec.
- (Beeps)
239
00:10:13,916 --> 00:10:15,684
Okay, here's the deal:
240
00:10:15,718 --> 00:10:17,485
You need to fight for what
you want, no matter what.
241
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:18,720
Otherwise, you're never gonna get it.
242
00:10:18,754 --> 00:10:20,689
Fight for what I want.
243
00:10:20,723 --> 00:10:22,524
You know what? You're right.
244
00:10:22,558 --> 00:10:24,659
For once, I... I am going to fight.
245
00:10:24,694 --> 00:10:26,494
- Riley?
- Thank you, Danny.
246
00:10:26,529 --> 00:10:27,729
That was... that was really good advice.
247
00:10:27,763 --> 00:10:29,497
- (Sighs)
- (Beeps)
248
00:10:29,532 --> 00:10:30,765
- Tucker?
- Yup.
249
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,902
Still here. I read a
book and knitted a scarf.
250
00:10:33,936 --> 00:10:35,837
- Still here.
- Okay, here's the deal:
251
00:10:35,871 --> 00:10:37,605
You need to fight for what you want,
252
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,874
otherwise, you will never get
it. Don't take no for an answer.
253
00:10:39,909 --> 00:10:42,444
Don't think of anyone else's
feelings other than your own.
254
00:10:42,478 --> 00:10:44,512
- (Chuckles)
- Thanks, dude.
255
00:10:44,547 --> 00:10:45,847
You know, that's really good advice.
256
00:10:45,881 --> 00:10:47,749
Yeah, I'm kind of on a roll.
257
00:10:48,851 --> 00:10:50,819
Oh, excuse me, Mr. Porter guy,
258
00:10:50,853 --> 00:10:52,821
could you maybe help me
with something in here?
259
00:10:52,855 --> 00:10:54,656
(Chuckles)
260
00:10:54,690 --> 00:10:56,725
What I wouldn't give to go a day
261
00:10:56,759 --> 00:10:58,526
without getting hit on.
262
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,665
I'm Tucker Dobbs.
263
00:11:03,699 --> 00:11:06,534
Dude, perfect, right?
264
00:11:06,569 --> 00:11:09,738
Hey, Tuck Tuck. Thanks
for warming my chair.
265
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:11,673
Now how about warming my
tummy with some coffee?
266
00:11:11,707 --> 00:11:13,742
- Chop chop. (Clicks tongue)
- (Scoffs)
267
00:11:13,776 --> 00:11:16,478
I cannot believe that you are
really going through with this.
268
00:11:16,512 --> 00:11:20,448
Well, I'm sorry. But The Mary Hart
wants what The Mary Hart wants.
269
00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:22,650
And Mary Hart wants me, not you.
270
00:11:22,685 --> 00:11:25,520
- (Both chuckle)
- This is my calling.
271
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,489
Ring ring.
272
00:11:27,523 --> 00:11:29,524
Oh, wait. Oh, look,
273
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,626
- I'm my calling...
- (Laughs)
274
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,862
Calling to tell your calling
that you stole my calling.
275
00:11:33,896 --> 00:11:35,430
(Grunts)
276
00:11:35,464 --> 00:11:37,699
But you know what? I'm a professional,
277
00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:39,501
and my job is to help you.
278
00:11:39,535 --> 00:11:40,769
Well, how hard could it be?
279
00:11:40,803 --> 00:11:42,604
I just have to read these cards.
280
00:11:42,638 --> 00:11:44,639
Yeah, fine, you know? Just read the cards.
281
00:11:47,476 --> 00:11:50,745
That is if you wanna totally suck.
282
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,680
- (Laughs)
- I mean, you know what?
283
00:11:52,715 --> 00:11:54,716
A little inside advice:
Just lose the cards.
284
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:57,585
- Really?
- Yeah, Mary responds to spontaneity.
285
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:59,412
- Oh my God, thank you, Tucker.
- Yeah.
286
00:11:59,546 --> 00:12:01,446
Oh God, I would've made a fool of myself.
287
00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:02,880
Nobody wants that.
288
00:12:02,881 --> 00:12:04,748
- (Sighs)
- Oh, anything else?
289
00:12:04,783 --> 00:12:06,784
- Actually, yeah.
- Oh yeah? Good, give it.
290
00:12:06,818 --> 00:12:08,519
Yeah, touch her as much as possible.
291
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:10,721
- Oh. Okay.
- Mary loves to be touched.
292
00:12:10,755 --> 00:12:13,590
And don't worry about time. The
longer your anecdotes, the better.
293
00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:16,760
And remember: Any thought,
no matter how small, silly
294
00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:19,430
or offensive it may seem,
just throw it out there.
295
00:12:19,464 --> 00:12:20,831
Throw it out there. Okay. Okay.
296
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,699
Oh, here's Mary.
297
00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:26,537
Okay, people, I have a
charity event at 7:00,
298
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,238
but that means I have to be there at 6:45
299
00:12:28,272 --> 00:12:31,575
- to find out what it's about.
- (Bonnie and Tucker laugh)
300
00:12:31,609 --> 00:12:34,411
All right, people, are we
ready to make some memories?
301
00:12:34,446 --> 00:12:35,646
- Yes.
- (Snaps): I know I am.
302
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,782
- (Laughs)
- Bonnie Wheeler camera test.
303
00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:42,419
And we are rolling in five, four, three...
304
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:46,723
Hello, everybody and welcome
to "The Mary Hart Show."
305
00:12:46,758 --> 00:12:49,560
I'm Mary Hart and this is my new co-host...
306
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,862
- Bonnie Wheeler!
- Bonnie Wheeler. I'm supposed to say that.
307
00:12:53,631 --> 00:12:55,666
Bonnie is a newly-single mom.
308
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:59,403
- She just moved here to...
- Who is definitely in the mood to mingle..
309
00:12:59,437 --> 00:13:01,638
with young people.
310
00:13:01,673 --> 00:13:03,674
Male people. Young male people.
311
00:13:03,708 --> 00:13:06,743
- Did I mention I was single?
- (Laughs)
312
00:13:06,778 --> 00:13:10,681
Oh, now that is a juicy story.
313
00:13:10,715 --> 00:13:13,484
It turns out my first husband was gay,
314
00:13:13,518 --> 00:13:16,386
which is why I'm making
sure my second one is rich.
315
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,522
You know what I'm talking
about, right, Mary? Huh?
316
00:13:18,556 --> 00:13:20,457
(Laughs)
317
00:13:20,492 --> 00:13:23,192
(Deep voice): You know, Mary Hart.
318
00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:25,762
- (Porter knocks)
- Mrs. Wheeler?
319
00:13:25,797 --> 00:13:27,431
Yes, come in. Come in.
320
00:13:27,465 --> 00:13:28,832
Hi. Finally. Did you give Ben my note?
321
00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:30,734
- What took you so long?
- I'm sorry.
322
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,737
I have this bad habit of taking
care of people who tip me first.
323
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,407
Here here here.
324
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,476
Relax. He'll be here any minute.
325
00:13:43,515 --> 00:13:45,849
(Clears throat)
326
00:13:54,526 --> 00:13:55,692
(Yelps)
327
00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:57,594
Riley, hey, I got your...
328
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,463
Riley?
329
00:13:59,497 --> 00:14:02,733
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, I guess I just misunderstood.
330
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:04,535
Then should we finish what we started?
331
00:14:04,569 --> 00:14:06,503
Yup, and if we do it right,
332
00:14:06,538 --> 00:14:08,539
tonight is going to be amazing.
333
00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:15,445
Oh, you have no idea
334
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,581
how amazing it is going to be.
335
00:14:17,615 --> 00:14:18,815
Oh!
336
00:14:25,808 --> 00:14:28,675
(Snorts)
337
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:31,412
And that is why you never mix
338
00:14:31,446 --> 00:14:34,015
box wine with rollerblades.
339
00:14:35,150 --> 00:14:36,417
True story.
340
00:14:36,451 --> 00:14:39,987
Oh! That looks like that is
all the time we have for today.
341
00:14:40,022 --> 00:14:42,356
For "The Mary Hart Show,"
I'm Bonnie Wheeler.
342
00:14:45,794 --> 00:14:48,061
- (Mutters)
- That's your cue.
343
00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:53,100
And she's Mary Hart! Good night, America!
344
00:14:53,135 --> 00:14:56,070
- (Laughs)
- Tucker: And we're out!
345
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,405
- All right, great job, everyone.
- Right!
346
00:14:57,439 --> 00:15:01,075
Oh, that was amazing!
Oh, Mary, I just have to...
347
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,177
- And Mary has to go. Run along now.
- Okay.
348
00:15:03,212 --> 00:15:06,380
- That woman is wild.
- Yes, I'm afraid so.
349
00:15:06,415 --> 00:15:08,983
- She never even looked at her cards.
- Not a one.
350
00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:11,953
- She totally winged it.
- Never knew what she was gonna say.
351
00:15:11,987 --> 00:15:14,121
- And I loved it!
- You what?
352
00:15:14,156 --> 00:15:16,090
It was invigorating.
353
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,092
I mean, I should be more like Bonnie.
354
00:15:18,094 --> 00:15:19,393
I am so marrie to my cards
355
00:15:19,427 --> 00:15:21,996
- (Scoffs)
- But you love the cards.
356
00:15:22,030 --> 00:15:24,331
You know, actually, Mare-Mare,
357
00:15:24,366 --> 00:15:26,233
losing the cards was Tucker's idea.
358
00:15:26,268 --> 00:15:30,137
- He is a great producer.
- You know what? You're right.
359
00:15:30,171 --> 00:15:34,141
Congratulations, Tucker. I am
making you our new senior producer.
360
00:15:34,175 --> 00:15:37,077
Really? Oh my God, thank you.
361
00:15:37,112 --> 00:15:38,279
- (Gasps)
- I'm so sorry.
362
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:41,248
And, Bonnie, you've got the job.
363
00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:43,384
- (Laughs)
- You can start on Monday.
364
00:15:43,418 --> 00:15:47,254
Oh! Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you.
365
00:15:47,289 --> 00:15:50,257
Oh, this is going to be so amazing.
366
00:15:50,292 --> 00:15:52,426
You will not regret this, Mary.
367
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:55,162
Me and you, we're a team, you know?
368
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:57,998
Like this fabulous mother and daughter act.
369
00:15:58,033 --> 00:15:59,333
You know?
370
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,902
You're like the wise, old sage
371
00:16:01,936 --> 00:16:04,938
and I'm the young buck,
learning from the master.
372
00:16:04,973 --> 00:16:05,647
(Laughs)
373
00:16:05,649 --> 00:16:08,343
Oh, this is gonna be
so much fun, Mare bear.
374
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:11,912
- Oh!
- (Laughing)
375
00:16:11,946 --> 00:16:15,082
- Where's...?
- (Continues laughing)
376
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,388
So, as your new senior producer,
377
00:16:21,423 --> 00:16:23,357
is there anything I can do for you?
378
00:16:23,391 --> 00:16:26,991
Yes. You can fire Bonnie Wheeler.
379
00:16:27,025 --> 00:16:28,993
I hope it's not too awkward for you.
380
00:16:29,027 --> 00:16:31,162
(Chuckles)
381
00:16:31,196 --> 00:16:33,164
Oh, it won't be awkward at all.
382
00:16:35,133 --> 00:16:38,402
♪ Tucker puts the hart in Mary, Tucker. ♪
383
00:16:42,074 --> 00:16:44,175
So, would you like me to pour?
384
00:16:44,209 --> 00:16:45,309
Can't drink if you don't pour.
385
00:16:46,378 --> 00:16:48,279
- (Scoffs)
- Really?
386
00:16:48,313 --> 00:16:51,148
Really? Candles, wine,
387
00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:54,151
a girl who's name I'm sure
you've just already forgotten.
388
00:16:54,186 --> 00:16:56,287
- It's Samantha.
- It's irrelevant.
389
00:16:56,321 --> 00:16:59,090
Riley, are you okay? What happened to you?
390
00:16:59,124 --> 00:17:02,293
You! You! You happened to me. That's what.
391
00:17:02,327 --> 00:17:06,063
And don't even try to tell me
that this isn't what it looks like,
392
00:17:06,098 --> 00:17:08,299
because if you say that this
isn't what it looks like,
393
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:12,269
I will scream, and we all know
just exactly what that looks like.
394
00:17:12,304 --> 00:17:14,171
Me screaming!
395
00:17:16,174 --> 00:17:18,109
Okay, Riley, you need to calm down.
396
00:17:18,143 --> 00:17:19,377
Oh my God! I am calm, okay?
397
00:17:19,411 --> 00:17:22,947
I am as calm as a cucumber.
398
00:17:22,981 --> 00:17:24,281
I'm pretty sure that's "cool as a..."
399
00:17:24,316 --> 00:17:25,916
Oh, stuff it, Liquor Lady!
400
00:17:27,185 --> 00:17:30,221
I can't believe that I was
about to throw myself at you!
401
00:17:30,255 --> 00:17:33,290
I was... I was willing to
give us another chance!
402
00:17:33,325 --> 00:17:36,193
We were gonna have sex.
403
00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:40,064
Hey, can I get this dinner to go?
404
00:17:40,098 --> 00:17:42,299
- (Scoffs)
- Oh. Oh, sure.
405
00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:44,935
Let me pack this up for you.
406
00:17:47,239 --> 00:17:49,140
- Ha!
- (Laughs)
407
00:17:49,174 --> 00:17:52,143
What do you think of that?
408
00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:54,311
I think you're gonna feel really silly
409
00:17:54,346 --> 00:17:55,980
when I tell you who that dinner was for.
410
00:17:56,014 --> 00:17:58,983
I didn't do all of this for
some waitress I just met.
411
00:17:59,017 --> 00:18:00,918
Actually, I'm a bartender.
412
00:18:00,952 --> 00:18:03,254
Oh, Sweetie, nobody cares.
413
00:18:06,992 --> 00:18:09,060
I did this for you.
414
00:18:09,094 --> 00:18:12,029
And I just want you to know that no
matter how many times you turn me down,
415
00:18:12,064 --> 00:18:13,964
I'm still gonna be here waiting.
416
00:18:13,999 --> 00:18:17,201
Riley, you are the only one for me.
417
00:18:20,939 --> 00:18:22,173
Oh.
418
00:18:24,209 --> 00:18:27,044
- (Chuckles)
- Why didn't you say so?
419
00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:30,247
(Clears throat)
420
00:18:31,316 --> 00:18:33,217
I'll have a white wine.
421
00:18:35,187 --> 00:18:38,989
I guarantee this is gonna be
the best lasagna you've ever had.
422
00:18:39,024 --> 00:18:40,958
And fair warning,
423
00:18:40,992 --> 00:18:42,126
I still cannot find my watch,
424
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,194
so eat carefully.
425
00:18:43,228 --> 00:18:45,296
Here you go.
426
00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:48,065
Ah. Just because one girl had to cancel
427
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,334
doesn't mean I can't have
dinner with my other best girl.
428
00:18:50,368 --> 00:18:52,336
- (Fusses)
- Don't tell Georgie,
429
00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:55,139
- but you really are my favorite.
- (Door opens).
430
00:18:55,173 --> 00:18:59,877
Okay, that was officially
the worst day ever.
431
00:18:59,911 --> 00:19:02,046
Oh, I don't know. It wasn't so bad.
432
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,248
- (Chuckles)
- Ooh, lasagna.
433
00:19:04,282 --> 00:19:07,952
- Help yourself.
- Oh, that Mary Hart.
434
00:19:07,986 --> 00:19:10,154
You know, she seems so sweet and innocent.
435
00:19:10,188 --> 00:19:12,890
Don't let her fool you. She is evil.
436
00:19:13,925 --> 00:19:16,327
She had the nerve to hire and fire me
437
00:19:16,361 --> 00:19:19,063
on the same day. Oh, and get this...
438
00:19:19,097 --> 00:19:22,967
She made poor Tucker here
do her dirty work for her.
439
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:24,068
It was awful.
440
00:19:26,037 --> 00:19:28,239
Well, I hope you like it.
441
00:19:28,273 --> 00:19:29,373
It's the first thing I've ever made.
442
00:19:29,407 --> 00:19:32,771
Oh my God, Honey, it smells incredible.
443
00:19:32,806 --> 00:19:36,307
- Uh. Mm-oh my... tastes...
- (Gasps)
444
00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:39,109
(Both gag)
445
00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:41,177
- Oh my God!
- Move!
446
00:19:41,212 --> 00:19:43,079
- Move! You move!
- Oh God, I can still taste it!
447
00:19:50,254 --> 00:19:53,924
Oh my God, it's starting to get light.
448
00:19:53,958 --> 00:19:56,393
I can't believe we stayed
up all night just... talking.
449
00:19:56,427 --> 00:19:59,195
I know. That's a first for me.
450
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:00,964
(Laughs)
451
00:20:00,998 --> 00:20:03,400
So, I think we got this friend thing down.
452
00:20:03,434 --> 00:20:05,368
What do you say we go
back up to the compartment
453
00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:07,003
and not be friends?
454
00:20:08,172 --> 00:20:10,373
I would enjoy not being your friend...
455
00:20:10,408 --> 00:20:13,076
- (Door opens)
- ... very much.
456
00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:16,980
- (Notes chime)
- We'll be arriving in five minutes, people.
457
00:20:17,014 --> 00:20:20,283
Everyone off the train.
Last stop... Orlando, Florida.
458
00:20:20,318 --> 00:20:24,321
Land of sun, surf and a father
I haven't spoken to in 15 years.
459
00:20:24,355 --> 00:20:25,989
(Notes chime)
460
00:20:29,427 --> 00:20:33,330
Wow. I guess our timing's a little off.
461
00:20:33,364 --> 00:20:35,031
You wanna go back up and pack up?
462
00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:37,033
Oh yeah, about that...
463
00:20:37,068 --> 00:20:40,403
Um, I may have thrown your
luggage out the window.
464
00:20:48,579 --> 00:20:50,747
- Okay, I'm ready.
- Are you sure?
465
00:20:50,753 --> 00:20:52,554
- This may hurt.
- I can handle it.
466
00:20:52,588 --> 00:20:54,522
I mean, I didn't get the
job, but somebody had to.
467
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,859
- She as good as me?
- Well, let's just say that
468
00:20:56,893 --> 00:20:58,626
they definitely have all the qualities
469
00:20:58,661 --> 00:21:00,695
Mary's looking for in a co-host.
470
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:04,099
Hello, everybody, and welcome
to "The Mary Hart Show."
471
00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:07,502
I'm Mary Hart and this is my new co-host,
472
00:21:07,737 --> 00:21:10,438
- Julio.
- Buenos dias.
473
00:21:10,473 --> 00:21:12,407
Isn't he adorable?
474
00:21:14,777 --> 00:21:16,644
God, she's good.
475
00:21:16,712 --> 00:21:17,712
Mmm!
476
00:21:17,713 --> 00:21:20,713
- Synced and corrected by Retrojex -
- www.addic7ed.com -