1 00:00:06,001 --> 00:00:07,493 Oh, look at them, huh? 2 00:00:07,493 --> 00:00:08,184 Did you ever think there'd be 3 00:00:08,184 --> 00:00:10,028 two ridiculously beautiful women here 4 00:00:10,028 --> 00:00:11,174 that both spent the night? 5 00:00:11,174 --> 00:00:13,483 Yeah. I just never thought one of them 6 00:00:13,483 --> 00:00:14,530 would have been with you. 7 00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:17,786 Morning, ladies. 8 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:19,491 Uh-oh. 9 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,091 Mm. And now we switch. 10 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:25,429 Wait. What? 11 00:00:25,429 --> 00:00:26,408 Oh, hello. Hi. 12 00:00:26,408 --> 00:00:27,861 No, wait. No, not a swinger. 13 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,042 Just close your eyes and think of me, babe, 14 00:00:30,042 --> 00:00:31,683 'cause that's what I'm gonna do. 15 00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,859 Nicki, don't do that! No! 16 00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,024 [Chuckling] Relax. 17 00:00:35,024 --> 00:00:36,611 We were just messing with you. 18 00:00:38,264 --> 00:00:40,698 Don't you ever do that to me again, okay? 19 00:00:40,698 --> 00:00:42,451 My heart is racing. 20 00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:43,859 [Cellphone rings] 21 00:00:43,859 --> 00:00:46,550 Ugh. It's my mom again. 22 00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:48,423 She's still recovering from her hip surgery, 23 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,977 and my stepdad is just being no help. 24 00:00:50,977 --> 00:00:51,962 Ugh. Jerry. 25 00:00:51,962 --> 00:00:53,377 Look, tell Cindy I'm praying for her. 26 00:00:53,377 --> 00:00:56,796 Her mom loves Jesus, and I love pleasing moms. 27 00:00:58,153 --> 00:01:00,202 Weird thing is, she always calls 28 00:01:00,202 --> 00:01:01,586 right before we're about to have sex. 29 00:01:01,586 --> 00:01:02,720 It's like she knows. 30 00:01:04,015 --> 00:01:05,529 Well, maybe she does know. 31 00:01:05,529 --> 00:01:08,374 I mean, I tell my mom everything. 32 00:01:08,374 --> 00:01:09,248 [Both chuckle] 33 00:01:09,248 --> 00:01:11,306 And now I can never meet your mom. 34 00:01:12,568 --> 00:01:13,823 No. It's cool. 35 00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:18,107 My mom is a very beautiful, very sexually open person. 36 00:01:18,107 --> 00:01:19,260 [Chuckles] 37 00:01:19,260 --> 00:01:22,040 [Chuckles] 38 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,535 Don't say it. 39 00:01:25,383 --> 00:01:27,769 And now I must meet her mom. [Laughing] 40 00:01:28,770 --> 00:01:30,434 Danny: All right, now. Here we go. Come on. 41 00:01:30,434 --> 00:01:31,746 Justin: Okay. We are going. 42 00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:37,708 ♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh ♪ 43 00:01:37,708 --> 00:01:40,020 "Undateable." Created by Adam Sztykiel. 44 00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:40,778 Soccieball. 45 00:01:40,778 --> 00:01:41,752 Synced and corrected by Mastermonger. www.addic7ed.com 46 00:01:42,317 --> 00:01:44,274 - Thanks for letting me take off early, babe. - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 47 00:01:44,274 --> 00:01:44,951 Knock, knock. 48 00:01:44,951 --> 00:01:45,985 - Come on in. - Mm. 49 00:01:48,568 --> 00:01:49,712 - [Laughs] - Mm. 50 00:01:49,712 --> 00:01:52,442 [Sighs] 51 00:01:53,543 --> 00:01:55,283 When you start having morning sex with me, 52 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:56,628 then you can leave early, too. 53 00:01:59,342 --> 00:02:00,327 Okay. 54 00:02:00,327 --> 00:02:01,827 I'm gonna call your bluff. 55 00:02:04,975 --> 00:02:06,735 [Singsongy voice] I call topsies. 56 00:02:09,148 --> 00:02:11,590 Hey, don't forget we're playing poker at my place tonight. 57 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,201 Nicki and I are hanging out, so... 58 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,144 Dude, since you started dating Nicki, 59 00:02:15,144 --> 00:02:16,258 we never see you anymore. 60 00:02:16,258 --> 00:02:20,542 Whatever happened to putting the bros before the hos? 61 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,579 Come on, guys. Give him a break, okay? 62 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,421 He's dealing with something 63 00:02:28,421 --> 00:02:30,132 that you guys would never understand. 64 00:02:30,132 --> 00:02:31,699 He's recently had sex. 65 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:33,776 You know what? 66 00:02:33,776 --> 00:02:35,438 Any one of you would choose sex 67 00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:36,969 over hanging out with the guys, all right? 68 00:02:36,969 --> 00:02:38,016 Look, Brett, it's game night, 69 00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:40,323 but one of the guys from "300" walks through the door 70 00:02:40,323 --> 00:02:43,122 and says [British accent] "hey, I lost me hands in battle, 71 00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:47,035 and I need your help to wash me abs." 72 00:02:51,526 --> 00:02:53,709 Then I would literally strangle my own mother 73 00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:55,622 and climb over her dead body 74 00:02:55,622 --> 00:02:57,879 to get to clean those abs, then. 75 00:02:57,879 --> 00:03:00,826 I would be very thorough, Danny, 76 00:03:00,826 --> 00:03:02,316 for this is Sparta! 77 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:07,169 Uh, I... Didn't even mention your mother, 78 00:03:07,169 --> 00:03:09,248 so that's weird that you chose to murder her in the scenario, 79 00:03:09,248 --> 00:03:11,737 but, uh, I'll go talk to him. 80 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,663 What? 81 00:03:17,663 --> 00:03:19,478 Go call your mom. 82 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,167 Bye. Good night, guys. 83 00:03:25,167 --> 00:03:26,088 - Good night, Les. - Good night, Les. 84 00:03:26,088 --> 00:03:26,809 Good night, Les. 85 00:03:26,809 --> 00:03:28,447 - Drink! - Drink! 86 00:03:29,973 --> 00:03:32,496 - What was that? - That was a little drinking game 87 00:03:32,496 --> 00:03:33,498 Shelly and I like to play. 88 00:03:33,498 --> 00:03:35,817 Whenever you touch Les, we take a drink. 89 00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:40,442 It's a great way to get very drunk very fast. 90 00:03:41,957 --> 00:03:45,137 Please. If I was groping Leslie, I think she'd tell me. 91 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,975 He never gropes. And I know groping. 92 00:03:47,975 --> 00:03:49,208 Today on the bus, 93 00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:51,371 some guy leaned against my boob for the entire ride. 94 00:03:51,371 --> 00:03:54,378 Well, he probably didn't know he was doing it. 95 00:03:54,378 --> 00:03:56,400 It was his face. 96 00:03:58,495 --> 00:04:01,172 Still, you do touch me a little bit. 97 00:04:01,172 --> 00:04:02,521 You're an accidental toucher. 98 00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:04,166 Oh, no, no, no. 99 00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:09,512 With the subconscious, there are no accidents. 100 00:04:13,392 --> 00:04:14,621 Deep down... 101 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,827 You want to touch her down deep. 102 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,211 I'm just gonna go put on pj’s before we start the movie. 103 00:04:27,211 --> 00:04:28,176 Oh. Me too. 104 00:04:28,176 --> 00:04:31,475 Here. Do not eat this until we get back, okay? 105 00:04:31,475 --> 00:04:33,309 What are you doing? 106 00:04:33,309 --> 00:04:34,320 She said not to eat it. 107 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,004 Yeah. Well, luckily I am not afraid of her. 108 00:04:44,834 --> 00:04:46,621 Look, baby bird, I think 109 00:04:46,621 --> 00:04:48,310 that you might be a little whipped, okay? 110 00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:49,777 Do you really want to stay in on a friday night 111 00:04:49,777 --> 00:04:51,525 and watch "Magic Mike" with Nicki? - Yes. 112 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,710 That's how I learn all my sick dance moves 113 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:54,592 that I use in the bedroom. 114 00:04:54,592 --> 00:04:55,772 You know, just... 115 00:05:03,544 --> 00:05:05,309 Why are you giving me grief, okay? 116 00:05:05,309 --> 00:05:06,595 You're here with your girlfriend. 117 00:05:06,595 --> 00:05:08,125 Girlfriend? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 118 00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:09,415 Shut your mouth. 119 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:13,243 Okay. Hold on one second. 120 00:05:13,243 --> 00:05:14,506 Sabrina, did you happen 121 00:05:14,506 --> 00:05:16,862 to hear the hilarious word that Justin just used? 122 00:05:16,862 --> 00:05:18,394 - Sabrina: What? - Never mind. 123 00:05:19,504 --> 00:05:20,899 Hey, man. 124 00:05:20,899 --> 00:05:23,843 You can't just be tossing g-bombs around like that, okay? 125 00:05:23,843 --> 00:05:26,697 I've only been dating her for like a week, all right? 126 00:05:26,697 --> 00:05:28,365 I haven't even named her boobs yet... 127 00:05:28,365 --> 00:05:31,136 Although I'm thinking about Kathie Lee and Hoda, 128 00:05:31,136 --> 00:05:32,805 because they are so perky in the morning. 129 00:05:39,221 --> 00:05:40,902 I'm not whipped, okay? 130 00:05:40,902 --> 00:05:42,240 Nicki lets me do what I want. 131 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,978 Then why do you always bail on the guys to hang with her? 132 00:05:43,978 --> 00:05:45,855 Honestly, I'm just trying not to get ahead of myself. 133 00:05:45,855 --> 00:05:48,100 I just... you know, I don't want to freak her out. 134 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,724 Freak her out? Why? How are you gonna freak her out? 135 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:50,898 Oh, my God. Are you pregnant? 136 00:05:50,898 --> 00:05:52,491 Stop it. No. 137 00:05:52,491 --> 00:05:53,702 Okay. Then what are you talking about? 138 00:05:53,702 --> 00:05:55,256 I'm in love with her, okay? 139 00:05:55,256 --> 00:05:56,655 Aw. 140 00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:00,388 What did you just say? 141 00:06:00,388 --> 00:06:01,821 Hello. 142 00:06:04,139 --> 00:06:07,628 Um, I was just saying that I love you... 143 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:10,214 That I'm in... I-I love you, Nicki. 144 00:06:11,610 --> 00:06:13,335 Cool. 145 00:06:19,642 --> 00:06:21,484 Hey, I wouldn't worry about today, mate. 146 00:06:21,484 --> 00:06:23,256 I don't think it's gonna be uncomfortable with Nicki. 147 00:06:23,256 --> 00:06:24,943 Hey. 148 00:06:26,770 --> 00:06:32,610 [Humming] 149 00:06:35,753 --> 00:06:38,331 Um, about last night, I think... 150 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,876 I'm gonna stop you there, okay? 151 00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:42,450 Ain't no thing but a apron string. 152 00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:43,993 [Laughs] 153 00:06:43,993 --> 00:06:46,149 Babe, are you sure that you're not upset? 154 00:06:46,149 --> 00:06:48,391 'Cause you make really weird rhymes when you're upset. 155 00:06:49,392 --> 00:06:50,696 Nah, nah. 156 00:06:50,696 --> 00:06:52,478 We're cool, cool in the pool, pool. 157 00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:55,247 I mean, unless there's something you wanted to say. 158 00:06:55,247 --> 00:06:57,290 No? Okay. 159 00:06:57,290 --> 00:06:59,417 [Sighs] 160 00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:00,254 Can you believe this? 161 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,941 I mean, I say "I love you," 162 00:07:01,941 --> 00:07:04,087 and she just bats it down like a piñata. 163 00:07:04,087 --> 00:07:06,645 Oh, I identify with piñatas. 164 00:07:06,645 --> 00:07:09,616 I'm also adorable and full of candy. 165 00:07:12,709 --> 00:07:14,764 Yo, man, you want Nicki wrapped around your finger? 166 00:07:14,764 --> 00:07:16,508 All you got to do is stop telling her how you feel. 167 00:07:16,508 --> 00:07:19,257 Danny, do you not hear yourself? 168 00:07:19,257 --> 00:07:22,130 I only hear myself. 169 00:07:24,171 --> 00:07:25,906 See, Nicki's like a hummingbird. 170 00:07:25,906 --> 00:07:27,413 [Humming] 171 00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:29,277 And you're like a kitty cat 172 00:07:29,277 --> 00:07:30,454 that keeps scaring her away. 173 00:07:30,454 --> 00:07:31,612 [Meows] "I love you." 174 00:07:31,612 --> 00:07:33,015 [Hisses, imitates engine revving] 175 00:07:33,015 --> 00:07:34,576 What you got to do 176 00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:36,808 is just turn your back on that hummingbird 177 00:07:36,808 --> 00:07:38,689 and do some other kitty-cat business, you know? 178 00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:40,444 "Uh-oh! Ho! Ho! Ho!" 179 00:07:40,444 --> 00:07:41,728 Somebody's got a laser pointer. 180 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,671 You go get that red dot. 181 00:07:45,286 --> 00:07:46,882 "Hey!" 182 00:07:46,882 --> 00:07:48,604 Anyway, then that little hummingbird 183 00:07:48,604 --> 00:07:51,528 will eventually come back right over near you 184 00:07:51,528 --> 00:07:53,053 and just land on your shoulder, 185 00:07:53,053 --> 00:07:54,950 all because you weren't paying attention to her. 186 00:07:54,950 --> 00:07:55,918 [Buzzing] 187 00:07:55,918 --> 00:07:56,984 [Stops buzzing] 188 00:07:58,549 --> 00:08:00,334 "Hey, little kitty cat. 189 00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:02,333 Guess what. I missed you so... " 190 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:03,714 [Growls] 191 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:08,886 Danny, you should write a book. 192 00:08:09,471 --> 00:08:11,553 Yeah. You know, I always thought I could be 193 00:08:11,553 --> 00:08:13,515 like a big-time motivational speaker. 194 00:08:13,515 --> 00:08:15,754 I meant a book on birds. 195 00:08:18,546 --> 00:08:20,132 I'm not playing any of your games. 196 00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:22,294 I'm not afraid to put my feelings out there, all right? 197 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:23,600 I live out loud. 198 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,765 Shelly, I love you. 199 00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:25,894 Brett, you too. 200 00:08:25,894 --> 00:08:27,653 Bursk, cool sweatshirt. 201 00:08:28,963 --> 00:08:30,812 I'm messing with you, man. 202 00:08:30,812 --> 00:08:32,177 I love you. I love you so hard. 203 00:08:32,177 --> 00:08:34,132 I'm gonna start calling you Six Flags 204 00:08:34,132 --> 00:08:36,074 'cause you just took me on an emotional roller coaster. 205 00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:40,391 That's fine, but if you don't play this right, 206 00:08:40,391 --> 00:08:42,501 you're not gonna get the "I love you" back from Nicki. 207 00:08:42,501 --> 00:08:43,767 I'm not hiding Danny. All right? 208 00:08:43,767 --> 00:08:45,178 And I don't regret that I said, "I love you." 209 00:08:45,178 --> 00:08:46,242 In fact, if I saw her again, 210 00:08:46,242 --> 00:08:47,317 I'd tell her I love her again. 211 00:08:47,317 --> 00:08:48,583 Hey, I might even double down 212 00:08:48,583 --> 00:08:50,251 and say, "let's move in together." 213 00:08:50,251 --> 00:08:52,535 - Hey, babe. - Yeah? 214 00:08:52,535 --> 00:08:53,806 Table four needs beer. 215 00:08:53,806 --> 00:08:54,485 Mm-hmm. 216 00:08:56,924 --> 00:08:58,224 Somebody put a bell on that girl! 217 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:04,561 Hey, Shell. 218 00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:06,898 Oh. Hey, Les. Hey, Bursk. 219 00:09:06,898 --> 00:09:08,011 Hey, stay away from me, please. 220 00:09:09,476 --> 00:09:10,730 What's going on? 221 00:09:10,730 --> 00:09:12,248 We decided with the Bursk situation 222 00:09:12,248 --> 00:09:14,725 that, uh, whenever he touches you, 223 00:09:14,725 --> 00:09:17,979 we expose an embarrassing and personal fact about him, 224 00:09:17,979 --> 00:09:18,762 like, uh... 225 00:09:18,762 --> 00:09:21,729 Burski was breastfed until he was 8. 226 00:09:23,886 --> 00:09:25,641 In psychology, this technique 227 00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:27,718 is called negative reinforcement. 228 00:09:27,718 --> 00:09:29,130 When I hit rock bottom, 229 00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:31,120 it's how I plan to kick my candy addiction. 230 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,129 Oh, but not today. 231 00:09:37,897 --> 00:09:39,863 Hey, sweetie. Can we talk? 232 00:09:39,863 --> 00:09:40,859 About what? 233 00:09:43,188 --> 00:09:46,252 Look, I have something I have to tell you. 234 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,104 Let's get out of here. 235 00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:49,979 Sure. Uh, I got to get my keys. 236 00:09:49,979 --> 00:09:51,761 Okay. All right. 237 00:09:51,761 --> 00:09:53,706 Hey, surprise, surprise. 238 00:09:53,706 --> 00:09:55,718 Keys are already in my pocket, Danny. 239 00:09:55,718 --> 00:09:57,891 This day is just full of twists. 240 00:09:57,891 --> 00:09:59,112 [Chuckles] 241 00:09:59,112 --> 00:10:01,613 'Cause I'm about to go get my "I love you" from Nicki. 242 00:10:01,613 --> 00:10:03,528 It's 'cause I live out loud, okay? 243 00:10:03,528 --> 00:10:05,323 So, I want you to watch, 'cause I'm gonna walk away, 244 00:10:05,323 --> 00:10:07,072 but I'm gonna do like a cocky winner's walk. 245 00:10:07,072 --> 00:10:08,026 Here we go. 246 00:10:25,956 --> 00:10:26,708 I fell... 247 00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,652 In love. 248 00:10:28,652 --> 00:10:30,708 [Door closes] 249 00:10:35,256 --> 00:10:38,560 Justin, I can't even tell you how amazing... 250 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,571 the last couple of weeks have been, and... 251 00:10:40,571 --> 00:10:42,194 What are you doing? 252 00:10:42,194 --> 00:10:43,795 Oh, I'm just, uh, filming this. 253 00:10:43,795 --> 00:10:45,054 Okay. Just ignore the camera 254 00:10:45,054 --> 00:10:46,551 and just say what's in your heart, okay? 255 00:10:46,551 --> 00:10:48,469 All right. 256 00:10:48,469 --> 00:10:50,073 Babe, you're the best. 257 00:10:50,073 --> 00:10:53,133 I-I mean, I haven't felt this way about a guy 258 00:10:53,133 --> 00:10:54,146 in a really long time... 259 00:10:54,146 --> 00:10:55,796 - Maybe ever... - Mm-hmm. 260 00:10:55,796 --> 00:10:57,592 which is why I'm being so weird about this. 261 00:10:57,592 --> 00:10:59,507 Um... Okay. 262 00:10:59,507 --> 00:11:01,770 Justin, I'm leaving. 263 00:11:01,770 --> 00:11:03,382 [Laughs] 264 00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:06,635 You said "leaving." I think you meant "loving." 265 00:11:06,635 --> 00:11:08,255 Okay. We'll try it again. Let's do a take two. 266 00:11:08,255 --> 00:11:09,121 Ready? 267 00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:10,800 And... Action. 268 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,638 No, no. Justin, look at me. 269 00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,375 I'm leaving Detroit. 270 00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:16,735 I'm gonna move home to take care of my mom. 271 00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:21,206 And cut. 272 00:11:24,874 --> 00:11:26,584 All right. So, what did you do 273 00:11:26,584 --> 00:11:27,949 after she said that she was leaving? 274 00:11:27,949 --> 00:11:29,434 I acted like a man, Danny... 275 00:11:29,434 --> 00:11:32,350 a crying, screaming, dry-heaving man. 276 00:11:33,446 --> 00:11:34,981 All right. Well, look. 277 00:11:34,981 --> 00:11:38,330 You put yourself out there, and it blew up in your face. 278 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:41,631 It's... it's over, and you got to move on with your life. 279 00:11:41,631 --> 00:11:43,077 But I'm in love. 280 00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:46,458 Oh, my God. 281 00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:49,039 I can feel myself getting very close 282 00:11:49,039 --> 00:11:50,196 to acting like a man again. 283 00:11:51,506 --> 00:11:54,601 [Gags] 284 00:11:55,739 --> 00:11:57,884 Okay, okay, okay. Look, look, look. Okay. 285 00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,710 Any good psychiatrist 286 00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:01,482 would tell you to just bury those feelings. 287 00:12:02,485 --> 00:12:04,204 I can do that. 288 00:12:04,204 --> 00:12:05,385 Then you're already healing. 289 00:12:05,385 --> 00:12:11,041 But I'm never gonna get a girl like Nicki again, so... 290 00:12:11,041 --> 00:12:12,473 Will you listen to yourself, man? 291 00:12:12,473 --> 00:12:14,568 You would get any girl you wanted to 292 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,240 if you just realized how awesome you are. 293 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,180 All right, quick. You know what? 294 00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:19,495 I want you to name three awesome things about yourself. 295 00:12:19,495 --> 00:12:22,779 Okay. I'm a good dancer, I'm very handsome, 296 00:12:22,779 --> 00:12:24,263 and my body is amazing. 297 00:12:25,887 --> 00:12:26,387 Great. 298 00:12:26,387 --> 00:12:28,778 Now I want you to name three true things. 299 00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:31,827 All right, come on. I'll be the girl. 300 00:12:31,827 --> 00:12:32,563 Go for it. 301 00:12:32,563 --> 00:12:33,999 [Claps] 302 00:12:33,999 --> 00:12:35,000 Well, I have a big heart. 303 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,880 "Oh, my God. 304 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,266 That's, like, so amazing. 305 00:12:39,266 --> 00:12:41,537 Tell me more." 306 00:12:44,038 --> 00:12:45,427 I own my own business. 307 00:12:45,427 --> 00:12:47,377 "Oh, my God! That's so funny, 308 00:12:47,377 --> 00:12:48,663 cause I was just telling my friend 309 00:12:48,663 --> 00:12:50,717 that I literally want to sleep with somebody 310 00:12:50,717 --> 00:12:52,619 that owns his own business." 311 00:12:56,196 --> 00:12:58,678 Bam! You said eight words to her, and you already closed! 312 00:13:00,105 --> 00:13:01,633 You know what? You're right. 313 00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:03,390 I mean, if I can get a girl like Nicki, 314 00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:04,409 I could get any girl. 315 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,971 I mean, I could get a model or a dancer 316 00:13:06,971 --> 00:13:08,598 or that chick from "The Good Wife." 317 00:13:11,403 --> 00:13:13,354 Julianna Margulies? 318 00:13:13,354 --> 00:13:15,121 Why would you want her? 319 00:13:15,121 --> 00:13:16,676 It's in the title, Danny... 320 00:13:16,676 --> 00:13:18,850 She's a good wife. 321 00:13:24,032 --> 00:13:24,589 Nicki: Hey. 322 00:13:24,589 --> 00:13:25,910 [Voice breaking] Can we talk? 323 00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:28,232 Listen, look. We're good, okay? 324 00:13:28,232 --> 00:13:30,427 But I-I think we've done enough talking. 325 00:13:30,427 --> 00:13:33,912 So I think it's time that I start trying to move on, so... 326 00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,100 That poor girl. 327 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:40,238 Yeah, this stinks. 328 00:13:41,551 --> 00:13:43,867 Burski pees sitting down. 329 00:13:46,489 --> 00:13:48,490 Why is Justin being so cold 330 00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:49,389 with Nicki all of a sudden? 331 00:13:49,389 --> 00:13:51,346 Because he's moving on like he should. 332 00:13:51,346 --> 00:13:52,800 He can't just move on. 333 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:53,991 That's not how love works. 334 00:13:53,991 --> 00:13:56,556 Excuse me, Les, but you definitely don't need 335 00:13:56,556 --> 00:13:58,222 to tell me how love works, okay? 336 00:13:58,222 --> 00:14:01,332 That's like telling Vin Diesel how to have a cool name. 337 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,824 You've never even dated someone for more than a month. 338 00:14:05,824 --> 00:14:07,580 Do you even know what love is? 339 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,511 Love is a battlefield. 340 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:15,993 Love is a-a feeling, okay? 341 00:14:15,993 --> 00:14:17,379 And it burns. 342 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,976 Love is a burning sensation 343 00:14:19,976 --> 00:14:22,019 that comes up from right around this area. 344 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,662 That's not what love is, Danny. 345 00:14:27,662 --> 00:14:31,331 But whatever that is, you should go to a hospital. 346 00:14:32,143 --> 00:14:35,242 He said he loved her. She didn't say it back. 347 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,759 She doesn't love him. End of story. 348 00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:38,760 No! Just because she didn't say it 349 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,123 doesn't mean she doesn't feel it! 350 00:14:40,123 --> 00:14:42,728 You have no idea how crazy women get about love. 351 00:14:42,728 --> 00:14:44,336 Watch. 352 00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:46,327 Nicki. 353 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:49,778 How are you doing? 354 00:14:49,778 --> 00:14:53,405 [Voice breaking] Um, I don't know what's going on. 355 00:14:53,405 --> 00:14:55,787 Why would he tell me that he loves me one day 356 00:14:55,787 --> 00:14:58,615 and then be so mean to me the next day, you know? 357 00:14:58,615 --> 00:14:59,918 Like, is that who he is? 358 00:14:59,918 --> 00:15:01,141 Was this even real? 359 00:15:01,141 --> 00:15:03,050 How am I supposed to feel?! 360 00:15:08,748 --> 00:15:10,581 If that's what love is, 361 00:15:10,581 --> 00:15:13,422 then I don't want any part of that ever, okay? 362 00:15:14,742 --> 00:15:17,722 Because that was banana-pants. 363 00:15:22,545 --> 00:15:23,752 Hey... 364 00:15:24,454 --> 00:15:25,289 Baby bird. 365 00:15:25,289 --> 00:15:27,109 How, uh... how you feeling? 366 00:15:27,109 --> 00:15:29,628 Not a lot of boyfriends have a cellphone video 367 00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,367 of the exact moment their heart got broken. 368 00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:32,328 Come over here and watch. 369 00:15:33,514 --> 00:15:34,867 You know... 370 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,303 Get over here and watch! 371 00:15:40,393 --> 00:15:41,452 See? 372 00:15:41,452 --> 00:15:43,177 It's even sadder with music. 373 00:15:43,177 --> 00:15:44,330 [Sniffles] 374 00:15:44,330 --> 00:15:49,470 ♪ And I would do anything for love ♪ 375 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:53,574 ♪ But I won't do that ♪ 376 00:16:06,349 --> 00:16:08,131 You got to go out there, 377 00:16:08,131 --> 00:16:09,928 and you got to talk to her again, 378 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,234 and you got to tell her that you love her. 379 00:16:11,234 --> 00:16:13,030 She already shot me down once, okay? 380 00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:14,593 Once a dog gets smacked on the nose, 381 00:16:14,593 --> 00:16:16,425 he stops stealing pork chops. 382 00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:19,317 Uh, that's... that's not a saying. 383 00:16:19,317 --> 00:16:20,073 Look, uh... 384 00:16:20,073 --> 00:16:22,963 Okay. I was just down at the bar. 385 00:16:22,963 --> 00:16:24,052 And I was talking to everyone 386 00:16:24,052 --> 00:16:25,957 about how much I know about love, 387 00:16:25,957 --> 00:16:27,301 and they were all really impressed, and... 388 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,183 It's obvious that Nicki's hurting, too, 389 00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:35,872 so you got to get off the couch and go talk to her. 390 00:16:35,872 --> 00:16:37,842 No. 391 00:16:37,842 --> 00:16:39,497 No. I'm not getting off this couch. 392 00:16:39,497 --> 00:16:40,645 Don't make me pick you up. 393 00:16:40,645 --> 00:16:41,436 You can't. 394 00:16:41,436 --> 00:16:43,771 I can make my center of gravity very low. 395 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,545 You want it this way, you got it this way. 396 00:16:49,545 --> 00:16:51,903 [Grunts] Oh! God! 397 00:16:51,903 --> 00:16:53,224 Aah! 398 00:16:53,224 --> 00:16:54,283 I heard a pop. 399 00:16:54,283 --> 00:16:56,080 Ohh. That was my back. 400 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,665 That wasn't your back, Danny. 401 00:16:57,665 --> 00:16:59,712 That was my heart. 402 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,728 Hey, buddy. 403 00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:12,436 Uh, brought the fellas over to cheer you up. 404 00:17:12,436 --> 00:17:13,484 Go away. 405 00:17:13,484 --> 00:17:15,413 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. 406 00:17:15,413 --> 00:17:17,324 Shut up now. 407 00:17:20,459 --> 00:17:22,739 We just want you to know that we care about you. 408 00:17:22,739 --> 00:17:26,012 Everyone heals on their own timetable. 409 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,958 I guess you're right. Thanks, guys. 410 00:17:27,958 --> 00:17:29,189 Why are you so close to me? 411 00:17:29,189 --> 00:17:30,310 Now! Just like we practiced! 412 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,873 Aah! You're ripping me apart! 413 00:17:31,873 --> 00:17:32,795 Help! 414 00:17:32,795 --> 00:17:34,506 - Go this way! Go this way! - Help! Help! 415 00:17:34,506 --> 00:17:36,128 I got it! I got it, I got it, I got it! 416 00:17:36,128 --> 00:17:38,130 - Ow! What are you doing?! - Go, go, go, go, go, go! 417 00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:39,046 Pick him up! Run him up! 418 00:17:39,046 --> 00:17:40,158 - Stop! Go, go! - Aah! 419 00:17:40,158 --> 00:17:41,953 Go, go, go, go, go! 420 00:17:41,953 --> 00:17:44,197 Okay. Go, go, go, go, go, go! 421 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,547 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 422 00:17:46,662 --> 00:17:49,598 Let go of me! Stop it! Come on! 423 00:17:49,598 --> 00:17:50,349 Ohh! Get in here! 424 00:17:50,349 --> 00:17:51,214 You know... 425 00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:53,261 Are you all right? 426 00:17:53,261 --> 00:17:54,463 Whoa! 427 00:17:54,463 --> 00:17:56,203 Get off! Stop it, all right?! 428 00:17:56,203 --> 00:17:57,135 Could you just stop it?! 429 00:17:57,135 --> 00:17:58,334 I'm not going anywhere. 430 00:17:58,334 --> 00:17:59,225 Gotcha! 431 00:18:02,143 --> 00:18:03,063 - Wait! - Come here. 432 00:18:03,063 --> 00:18:04,823 You guys! What is going on? 433 00:18:04,823 --> 00:18:06,036 It's fine. You know what? 434 00:18:06,036 --> 00:18:07,141 Justin just... 435 00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:08,413 What are you doing with the...? 436 00:18:09,969 --> 00:18:13,691 Justin just has something he wants to say to you. 437 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:19,384 [Sighs] 438 00:18:19,384 --> 00:18:21,642 We're out of jalapeño poppers. 439 00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:26,308 Okay, fine. You know what? 440 00:18:26,308 --> 00:18:27,252 Then I'll say something. 441 00:18:27,252 --> 00:18:28,997 I've missed out on a lot on life because... 442 00:18:28,997 --> 00:18:31,696 [Sighs] ... I was afraid to put myself out there. 443 00:18:31,696 --> 00:18:33,505 I don't live out loud, Justin, but you do, 444 00:18:33,505 --> 00:18:36,616 and, frankly, that inspires me. 445 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,492 I mean, honestly, a part of me wishes that Sabrina was here 446 00:18:39,492 --> 00:18:41,284 so I could tell her how I really feel about her. 447 00:18:41,284 --> 00:18:42,721 - I could give her a call. - I said "part of me," Les. 448 00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:47,930 Look, you're the bravest guy I know. 449 00:18:47,930 --> 00:18:51,264 So don't let her go without saying everything 450 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,112 that you need to say. 451 00:18:54,609 --> 00:18:55,344 Fine. 452 00:18:57,296 --> 00:18:59,037 I really hate that you're leaving, 453 00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:02,137 but part of the reason that I fell for you in the first place 454 00:19:02,137 --> 00:19:03,427 is because you are the type of girl 455 00:19:03,427 --> 00:19:05,659 that would go and help your mom. 456 00:19:05,659 --> 00:19:07,337 And I'm not gonna take it back, Nicki. 457 00:19:07,337 --> 00:19:08,825 I love you. Okay? 458 00:19:08,825 --> 00:19:10,768 And I don't care if you say it back. 459 00:19:10,768 --> 00:19:12,005 I do. I lied. 460 00:19:12,005 --> 00:19:13,258 I really do. 461 00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:15,743 But mostly, I just want you 462 00:19:15,743 --> 00:19:17,316 to know that no matter how long you're gone... 463 00:19:17,316 --> 00:19:18,915 - I love you. - Well, let me finish. 464 00:19:18,915 --> 00:19:20,070 And... 465 00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:23,863 What... what did you just s... I cut you off. 466 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:24,680 I know what you said. 467 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:25,707 [Chuckling] Could you just say it again? 468 00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:28,186 - Yeah. I love you. - Thank you. 469 00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:32,373 Oh, my God. 470 00:19:32,373 --> 00:19:34,887 I don't know why I didn't say it back to you right away. 471 00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:38,130 Well, uh, it's probably because you're banana-pants. 472 00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:43,887 I mean, I-I wanted to, 473 00:19:43,887 --> 00:19:46,525 but I was just afraid because I knew that I was going, 474 00:19:46,525 --> 00:19:48,644 - and I didn't know what that meant for us. - It just... listen. 475 00:19:48,644 --> 00:19:49,584 It just means that we're gonna have 476 00:19:49,584 --> 00:19:51,437 to put more miles on our car... - [Laughs] 477 00:19:51,437 --> 00:19:53,052 And that I have to buy a car. 478 00:19:53,052 --> 00:19:54,726 Yeah. [Laughs] 479 00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:56,056 So, what do we do now? 480 00:19:56,056 --> 00:19:58,892 Well, I don't leave for two days, so... 481 00:19:58,892 --> 00:20:00,453 Brett, watch the bar for two days. 482 00:20:00,453 --> 00:20:01,347 Yes, boss. 483 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:03,372 Okay, ladies and gentlemen. 484 00:20:03,372 --> 00:20:05,625 For two days only, this is now a gay bar. 485 00:20:18,206 --> 00:20:19,283 Thanks, man. 486 00:20:19,283 --> 00:20:21,172 I love you. 487 00:20:23,495 --> 00:20:24,745 Cool. 488 00:20:26,294 --> 00:20:27,476 [Chuckles] 489 00:20:31,037 --> 00:20:32,079 All right. I'm out. 490 00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:33,059 - Bye, Les. - Bye, Les. 491 00:20:33,059 --> 00:20:33,873 Bye, guys. 492 00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,192 Burski's first kiss was with his cousin. 493 00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:40,708 Get them out of your system. 494 00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:43,475 Burski's second kiss was with his other cousin. 495 00:20:44,324 --> 00:20:46,614 Yeah. Burski's third kiss was with another cousin. 496 00:20:46,614 --> 00:20:48,071 It was a family reunion. Who cares? 497 00:20:51,414 --> 00:20:54,201 Honestly, I never minded your accidental touches. 498 00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:56,375 Can we just go back to the way things were? 499 00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:57,225 I'd like that. 500 00:20:57,225 --> 00:20:58,751 Okay. Bring it in. 501 00:21:07,029 --> 00:21:08,132 That was our first kiss. 502 00:21:08,132 --> 00:21:09,884 Looks like it's on. 503 00:21:11,925 --> 00:21:13,856 Yeah I don't, I don't think it's on Bursk. 504 00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:14,677 Oh, it's on. 505 00:21:14,677 --> 00:21:17,265 Plus I got the green light to touch you whenever I want. 506 00:21:18,204 --> 00:21:20,944 And I'm gonna use that... a lot. 507 00:21:23,004 --> 00:21:26,060 - Erhh, that's eh... that's my sister. - I'm sorry.