1 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,639 Killing bad guys is my business, 2 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,642 and business is [Bleep] cracking. 3 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,362 How was it? 4 00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,698 It wasn't very good, was it? 5 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,333 Are you fucking kidding me right now, mom? 6 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,468 It sucked. Hard. 7 00:00:36,502 --> 00:00:38,070 I can't believe I even work for that show. 8 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,038 I deserve way better. 9 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,207 I hope your episode's better than that fucking atrocity. 10 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,710 Can't promise anything. 11 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,478 Whatever. 12 00:00:46,512 --> 00:00:49,681 Going to bed. Good night, buddy. 13 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,816 - Love you. - Night. 14 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,784 Love you. 15 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,096 Hi. 16 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,664 Hi. 17 00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:07,599 We haven't been alone together in a long time. 18 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,901 Which explains why my wiener 19 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:11,470 feels so weird right now. 20 00:01:26,552 --> 00:01:30,555 Mom. 21 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,090 What, honey? 22 00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:34,893 Is it cool if I... 23 00:01:34,927 --> 00:01:37,229 What? 24 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,464 - What the fuck is he saying? - I don't know. 25 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:42,267 Can I sleep in the annex? 26 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,304 What the fuck is the annex? What the fuck are you holding? 27 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:48,140 This is my lovey. It's like my favorite blanket. 28 00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:50,075 I've had it since I was a little fucking baby. 29 00:01:51,477 --> 00:01:53,078 Well, if you really think you need to. 30 00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:55,781 I do, I'm really worried about the future, 31 00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,250 - our future, all of us. - Why? 32 00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,985 Show's gonna get canceled, dude, 33 00:02:00,019 --> 00:02:02,654 sooner rather than later, and then what are we gonna do? 34 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,389 All right, well, you just stick a pin in that 35 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,925 and go off to the annex and get a good night's sleep. 36 00:02:06,959 --> 00:02:09,594 Okay. 37 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,563 Whoa, thi... this is the annex right here? 38 00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:14,099 Mm-hmm. 39 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:17,269 What the fuck? You still breast-feeding too? 40 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,104 I wish. 41 00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:22,240 Thanks, mom. Good night. 42 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:25,644 Good night, dad. 43 00:02:25,678 --> 00:02:27,145 Good night. 44 00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:25,637 Gather round, people. 45 00:03:25,671 --> 00:03:28,940 Gather round. Gather round. 46 00:03:33,946 --> 00:03:36,348 - Yeah, so we're canceled. - No! 47 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:39,551 - One and out. - Holy shit. 48 00:03:39,585 --> 00:03:41,553 Sorry, did I say that out loud? 49 00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:42,654 I gotta go call Gersh. 50 00:03:45,591 --> 00:03:47,092 Technically speaking, we've been asked 51 00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,594 to shut down production and go on hiatus. 52 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,197 I mean, a hiatus sounds good, you know? 53 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:53,832 I mean, I could use a break from this fucking grind. 54 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,534 Oh, you're gonna have a nice, long break, 55 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:59,004 all right, Hashtag? 56 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:00,806 Look. 57 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,307 We threw a party. Nobody showed up. 58 00:04:02,341 --> 00:04:05,510 It happens. 59 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,779 It's been a blast. 60 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,581 Actually, you know what? This hasn't been a blast. 61 00:04:09,615 --> 00:04:11,183 This has been a fucking pain in the ass, 62 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:15,220 thankfully a relatively short pain in the ass. 63 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:16,788 Learn from this, people, okay? 64 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,090 Take it with you to the next job, 65 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,726 and appreciate what you have while you have it, 66 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,696 because usually, it ends just like this. 67 00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:26,965 Whoa, whoa, whoa, are... 68 00:04:26,999 --> 00:04:29,434 aren't we gonna fight this shit? 69 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,403 No, we're not gonna fight this shit, Levon. 70 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,572 They can't just cancel our show after one fucking episode. 71 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,874 Yo, this tubby motherfucker is speaking the truth right now. 72 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,776 America voted, Hashtag. 73 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,044 They don't like your shit. 74 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,214 That really fucking hurts my feelings, Rath. 75 00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:43,582 Oh, come on, man, it's all right. 76 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,916 Hashtag, you'll live to butcher 77 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,485 someone else's dialogue another day. 78 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,854 That's the beauty of this business of show... 79 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:51,756 how many chances we get to fuck it up all over again. 80 00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:54,125 Uh... many. 81 00:04:55,761 --> 00:04:58,997 All right, I will be in my office drinking 82 00:04:59,031 --> 00:05:02,300 if anyone wants to say good-bye. 83 00:05:06,772 --> 00:05:09,040 I understand. 84 00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,810 I'm sorry, Hank. 85 00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:14,446 What's wrong? 86 00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:19,251 Santa Monica Cop got canceled. 87 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:20,685 Lovely. 88 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,622 There goes that pathetic fucking trickle of a revenue stream. 89 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,458 I am sure I can get Hank on another show. 90 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:29,261 Oh, God, Charlie. 91 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:32,163 I have to fuck Stu. 92 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,967 I know it's upsetting, baby. 93 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:42,874 I'm crying because I know you have to fuck Stu. 94 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,676 I'm crying because I can't even fucking 95 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,318 provide for you and our son. 96 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:49,436 I'm crying because our life is so fucking pathetic 97 00:05:49,470 --> 00:05:51,371 right now, it seems like this is the only option. 98 00:05:51,405 --> 00:05:53,473 So now, it's my turn to provide. 99 00:05:53,508 --> 00:05:55,976 Big fucking deal. 100 00:05:56,010 --> 00:05:58,478 I just have to go out and schtup my ex, 101 00:05:58,513 --> 00:05:59,746 so we can make the rent. 102 00:06:01,382 --> 00:06:04,851 There's worse things... I guess. 103 00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,821 I'm gonna fucking kill myself! 104 00:06:07,855 --> 00:06:09,856 Don't kill yourself, baby. 105 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,525 Don't you think our son has enough shit 106 00:06:11,559 --> 00:06:13,159 to deal with about his old man, 107 00:06:13,194 --> 00:06:15,829 you're gonna throw in paternal suicide too? 108 00:06:15,863 --> 00:06:18,131 That's true. You're right. 109 00:06:18,165 --> 00:06:20,066 When you're right, you're right. 110 00:06:20,101 --> 00:06:21,434 I just don't think I can stay here 111 00:06:21,469 --> 00:06:22,936 knowing you're out there fucking Stu 112 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,405 without hurting myself. 113 00:06:25,439 --> 00:06:27,507 I have an idea. 114 00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:29,276 - You're not gonna do it? - No, I'm gonna do it. 115 00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:31,111 I'm gonna do it, 116 00:06:31,145 --> 00:06:35,282 but I think that maybe you should do it too. 117 00:06:37,718 --> 00:06:39,219 Fuck Stu? 118 00:06:39,287 --> 00:06:42,122 No, you idiot. Fuck someone else. 119 00:06:42,156 --> 00:06:44,057 If you have to deal with the unpleasantness 120 00:06:44,091 --> 00:06:45,292 of me fucking Stu, 121 00:06:45,326 --> 00:06:49,195 I think it's only fair that... 122 00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,798 You should get to fuck somebody else too. 123 00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:53,700 Really? 124 00:06:53,734 --> 00:06:54,701 Yes. 125 00:06:54,735 --> 00:06:57,637 I'm intrigued. 126 00:06:57,672 --> 00:06:58,905 Continue, please. 127 00:07:01,742 --> 00:07:03,877 Just once, 128 00:07:03,911 --> 00:07:05,545 and I don't wanna know about it. 129 00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:06,913 I'm serious. 130 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:11,251 You keep that shit to yourself. 131 00:07:11,285 --> 00:07:15,755 I have a confession to make. 132 00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:18,024 I'm incredibly hard right now. 133 00:07:18,059 --> 00:07:19,960 Really? 134 00:07:19,994 --> 00:07:21,628 That's funny 135 00:07:21,662 --> 00:07:26,232 because I'm incredibly wet right now. 136 00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:27,534 Are we sick people? 137 00:07:27,568 --> 00:07:31,538 I think that goes without saying. 138 00:07:31,572 --> 00:07:33,440 Should we bone? 139 00:07:33,474 --> 00:07:36,276 I think that goes without saying. 140 00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:38,411 Gotta move fast... I literally have ten minutes 141 00:07:38,446 --> 00:07:39,980 before I have to pick up Stuart 142 00:07:40,014 --> 00:07:42,549 and get him to speech therapy. 143 00:07:50,291 --> 00:07:52,125 Hey. 144 00:07:52,159 --> 00:07:54,761 - May I? - I insist. 145 00:08:00,468 --> 00:08:02,068 You ever thought about giving up 146 00:08:02,103 --> 00:08:03,436 all this television writing hoo-ha 147 00:08:03,471 --> 00:08:04,904 and getting back to your music? 148 00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:08,034 Fuck that, this is the only thing I have 149 00:08:08,069 --> 00:08:10,503 that's actually pure. 150 00:08:10,538 --> 00:08:11,605 You know, the second you try 151 00:08:11,639 --> 00:08:12,672 and get serious about something, 152 00:08:12,707 --> 00:08:14,007 it loses all its magic. 153 00:08:14,041 --> 00:08:17,377 Word to your mother. 154 00:08:17,411 --> 00:08:19,746 What's next? 155 00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:21,014 I have a deal with the studio. 156 00:08:21,048 --> 00:08:22,549 They'll ask me to step in and save 157 00:08:22,583 --> 00:08:25,585 some other fucking disaster 158 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,454 or... or write another pilot. 159 00:08:27,488 --> 00:08:29,756 Same shit, different year, you know. 160 00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:31,725 Gotta keep the pool heated, right? 161 00:08:31,759 --> 00:08:33,460 So my son can defile it some more? 162 00:08:33,494 --> 00:08:35,328 Yeah. 163 00:08:35,363 --> 00:08:38,565 The real question is, what's next for Hank Moody? 164 00:08:38,599 --> 00:08:40,066 Fuck if I know, man. 165 00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:41,568 You know, I don't think you should go 166 00:08:41,602 --> 00:08:44,070 work on another show. 167 00:08:44,105 --> 00:08:45,238 You don't think I have what it takes? 168 00:08:45,272 --> 00:08:46,640 No, you have what it takes. 169 00:08:46,674 --> 00:08:49,409 It's just a waste of what you have. 170 00:08:49,443 --> 00:08:51,044 I think you should write a show of your own. 171 00:08:51,078 --> 00:08:53,813 Well, I appreciate that, but I... 172 00:08:53,848 --> 00:08:55,315 I... I don't know what I'd write about. 173 00:08:55,349 --> 00:08:58,652 I don't know about cops or lawyers or doctors. 174 00:08:58,686 --> 00:09:00,286 No, no, no, no, fuck that shit. 175 00:09:00,321 --> 00:09:03,623 Write about what you do know. Write about you. 176 00:09:03,658 --> 00:09:05,892 Write about your fucked-up friends. 177 00:09:05,926 --> 00:09:09,329 Write about your kids, the ones you know about. 178 00:09:09,363 --> 00:09:11,097 - Write about Karen. - And Julia. 179 00:09:11,132 --> 00:09:12,799 Write about Julia. 180 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:15,035 Just leave a little room in there 181 00:09:15,069 --> 00:09:16,469 for someone to swoop in and steal her away. 182 00:09:16,504 --> 00:09:17,604 Ah. 183 00:09:17,638 --> 00:09:20,306 Just a little. 184 00:09:22,376 --> 00:09:25,178 Think about it. 185 00:09:25,212 --> 00:09:26,746 I will. 186 00:10:07,354 --> 00:10:09,322 Hey, pretty lady. 187 00:10:09,356 --> 00:10:12,158 Hey there, sailor. 188 00:10:12,193 --> 00:10:14,794 - Charlie. - Lisa. 189 00:10:18,165 --> 00:10:20,633 What's the matter, Charlie? You seem a little nervous. 190 00:10:20,668 --> 00:10:23,236 I am, I am, I'm a little nervous, yeah, 191 00:10:23,270 --> 00:10:24,738 more than I thought I would be. 192 00:10:24,772 --> 00:10:26,139 Aw, what's there to be nervous about? 193 00:10:26,173 --> 00:10:27,474 You're just a guy talking to a girl. 194 00:10:27,508 --> 00:10:30,076 I suppose you're right. Yeah. 195 00:10:30,111 --> 00:10:32,011 - Can I... can I buy you a drink? - Sure. 196 00:10:32,046 --> 00:10:33,747 - I like drinks. - Krull? 197 00:10:33,781 --> 00:10:36,082 Whatever the lady would like. 198 00:10:36,117 --> 00:10:39,419 The lady wants a jager shot. 199 00:10:39,453 --> 00:10:42,388 Uh, same for the gentleman, I guess. 200 00:11:07,782 --> 00:11:09,749 Married? 201 00:11:09,784 --> 00:11:13,620 This old thing. 202 00:11:13,654 --> 00:11:16,256 Yeah, we have kind of an arrangement, yeah. 203 00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:18,324 That's cool. I have a boyfriend. 204 00:11:18,359 --> 00:11:21,995 Right on, right on. 205 00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,997 So what did you have in mind? 206 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:28,268 Oh, uh, a liaison, perhaps? 207 00:11:28,302 --> 00:11:30,270 Oh, liaison. 208 00:11:30,304 --> 00:11:32,872 I know a cheap little motel close by. 209 00:11:32,907 --> 00:11:36,075 - Really? What would you do? - Do? 210 00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:38,077 To me in a cheap hotel? 211 00:11:38,112 --> 00:11:40,580 To you, well, you know, first, I would kiss you. 212 00:11:40,614 --> 00:11:42,916 No kissing. Not hot, not for a liaison. 213 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,984 No kissing. Okay. 214 00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:49,088 I... I would... I would fondle your boobs... 215 00:11:49,123 --> 00:11:50,657 Right? 216 00:11:50,691 --> 00:11:52,992 Because, you know... and then, I would maybe... 217 00:11:53,027 --> 00:11:55,128 maybe get a sense of your ass, you know? 218 00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:58,898 And then, I suppose my penis would make an appearance. 219 00:11:58,966 --> 00:12:00,500 Ta-da. 220 00:12:00,534 --> 00:12:02,068 Yeah? I would put it in your mouth. 221 00:12:02,102 --> 00:12:03,636 And then I might take it out again. 222 00:12:03,671 --> 00:12:05,371 Maybe I would slap you on the forehead with it, 223 00:12:05,406 --> 00:12:07,440 just a little bit, you know, just for fun. 224 00:12:07,474 --> 00:12:08,842 - Just for fun. - Wow. 225 00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:10,143 You're a dirty little birdie, Charlie. 226 00:12:10,177 --> 00:12:11,477 You have no idea, Lisa. 227 00:12:11,512 --> 00:12:14,180 Really? What else? I like this game. 228 00:12:14,215 --> 00:12:16,182 Okay, I would pull down your pants. 229 00:12:16,217 --> 00:12:17,650 I would tear off your panties and stuff 'em in your mouth. 230 00:12:17,685 --> 00:12:19,252 Nice. 231 00:12:19,286 --> 00:12:20,787 I would wrap the phone cord around your neck. 232 00:12:20,821 --> 00:12:22,288 - Not too hard, of course. - Oh, of course. 233 00:12:22,323 --> 00:12:24,524 - I would like to, you know... - Rough is fun. 234 00:12:24,558 --> 00:12:28,461 Holy shit. 235 00:12:28,495 --> 00:12:31,164 You know what, you may just be my sexual soul mate. 236 00:12:31,198 --> 00:12:32,599 Oh, that's sweet. 237 00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,434 And then, I would take you from behind. 238 00:12:34,468 --> 00:12:36,669 I would fucking... oh, no, no, no, scratch that. 239 00:12:36,704 --> 00:12:38,037 Not from behind, no, because that's... 240 00:12:38,072 --> 00:12:39,005 you know, it gets me going too much. 241 00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:40,640 It's too good. 242 00:12:40,674 --> 00:12:41,975 Yeah, it's like two seconds, and I'd be done. 243 00:12:42,009 --> 00:12:43,643 Oh, no, we wouldn't want that. 244 00:12:43,677 --> 00:12:45,044 No, no. You know what? 245 00:12:45,079 --> 00:12:47,180 Allow me to demonstrate something for you 246 00:12:47,214 --> 00:12:49,515 that I like to call "La Runkle." 247 00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:50,783 Come here, come here, stand up. 248 00:12:50,818 --> 00:12:52,285 - Look at this. - Okay. 249 00:12:52,319 --> 00:12:54,888 I find that if I move in little circles, 250 00:12:54,922 --> 00:12:57,657 it keeps me in the game far longer, far longer. 251 00:12:57,691 --> 00:13:00,226 This simple change from this to that, 252 00:13:00,261 --> 00:13:04,230 and it makes me last a little bit longer. 253 00:13:04,265 --> 00:13:06,499 What the fuck is this? 254 00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:09,836 I beg your pardon? 255 00:13:11,105 --> 00:13:14,841 Mm. 256 00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:16,910 Who's the clown? 257 00:13:16,944 --> 00:13:18,144 This is Charlie. 258 00:13:18,178 --> 00:13:20,480 Charlie, this is my boyfriend Mack. 259 00:13:20,514 --> 00:13:23,082 Um, Charlie was just describing what he'd like to do to me 260 00:13:23,117 --> 00:13:25,285 in a cheap motel. 261 00:13:25,319 --> 00:13:27,120 Oh, yeah? 262 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,789 Wanna know what I'd do to you in a cheap motel, Charlie? 263 00:13:29,823 --> 00:13:30,857 Or even in a bar? 264 00:13:34,028 --> 00:13:36,696 Come on, dirty girl. Let's get naked. 265 00:13:44,605 --> 00:13:46,172 - What's up, Harpo? - You know what, dad? 266 00:13:46,206 --> 00:13:47,674 You got a great fucking body, seriously. 267 00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:48,841 Thanks? 268 00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:50,243 Yeah, I wish the apple fell 269 00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:51,945 a little closer to the bush on that one. 270 00:13:51,979 --> 00:13:53,112 - That's not... - How do I... 271 00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:55,248 how do I get abs like that? 272 00:13:55,282 --> 00:13:56,983 I would start by laying off the fucking pizza. 273 00:13:57,017 --> 00:13:58,751 Yeah, like that's gonna happen. 274 00:13:58,786 --> 00:14:00,053 This is a great idea, dad. 275 00:14:00,087 --> 00:14:01,921 I fucking love pizza and movie night. 276 00:14:01,956 --> 00:14:04,123 Just what the doctor ordered, you know? 277 00:14:04,158 --> 00:14:05,091 So what if I'm unemployed now? 278 00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:06,960 Well, I talked to Rath, 279 00:14:06,994 --> 00:14:09,028 and he's gonna let you stay on for as long as he can. 280 00:14:09,063 --> 00:14:10,430 Yeah, but then what? 281 00:14:10,464 --> 00:14:11,998 Then you go out, and you get another job. 282 00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:13,366 Yeah, but how am I just gonna luck 283 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,001 into another job like I did with this one? 284 00:14:15,035 --> 00:14:16,869 Well, maybe you don't luck into another job. 285 00:14:16,904 --> 00:14:19,706 Maybe you actually go out and you find one. 286 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:23,609 Mm, yeah, that's... that's never really worked for me. 287 00:14:23,644 --> 00:14:25,111 I'm gonna throw some clothes on. 288 00:14:25,145 --> 00:14:28,281 Hurry up, dude. Pizza's gonna get cold. 289 00:14:32,019 --> 00:14:34,520 Fuck. God damn it. 290 00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:40,460 Mom? Thank God. 291 00:14:40,494 --> 00:14:43,529 You gotta help me. 292 00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:48,968 Oh, my God. Hi. 293 00:14:49,003 --> 00:14:50,770 - Hi. - You're... you're Becca. 294 00:14:50,804 --> 00:14:54,240 Yes, I am. And you are... 295 00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:56,175 Levon. I'm... I'm Levon. Hi! 296 00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:59,645 Nice to meet you, Levon. 297 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,347 You said my name right. 298 00:15:01,382 --> 00:15:04,183 - Is that unusual? - Yeah. 299 00:15:04,218 --> 00:15:06,819 I'm sorry, did you... do you know about me? 300 00:15:06,854 --> 00:15:08,154 No. 301 00:15:08,188 --> 00:15:09,589 You don't know about me? Shit. 302 00:15:09,623 --> 00:15:11,791 I'm looking for my father. 303 00:15:11,825 --> 00:15:14,527 Yeah, he's... he's getting dressed. 304 00:15:14,561 --> 00:15:15,928 Where's Charlie and Marcy? 305 00:15:15,963 --> 00:15:17,930 I don't know. They're weird. 306 00:15:17,965 --> 00:15:19,499 Yeah, they are. 307 00:15:19,533 --> 00:15:21,801 You're a lot hotter than your pictures. 308 00:15:21,835 --> 00:15:23,202 Thanks? 309 00:15:23,237 --> 00:15:26,272 Um, I'm sorry. That's weird. 310 00:15:26,306 --> 00:15:28,641 But your mom's totally hot, makes sense. 311 00:15:28,675 --> 00:15:30,276 - You know my mom? - Yeah, she's cool. 312 00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:31,644 Super milfy. Where is she? 313 00:15:31,678 --> 00:15:33,012 Parking the car. 314 00:15:33,047 --> 00:15:34,547 So how do you know my father? 315 00:15:34,581 --> 00:15:38,384 Let's get this pizza-movie night started. 316 00:15:42,056 --> 00:15:43,122 Sweetie. 317 00:15:43,157 --> 00:15:45,258 Oh. 318 00:15:48,495 --> 00:15:51,097 Oh. 319 00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:56,869 So I met your strange little friend. 320 00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:58,471 Yeah. 321 00:15:58,505 --> 00:16:00,406 About my strange little friend... 322 00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:01,841 Will you just tell her already? 323 00:16:01,875 --> 00:16:04,010 The suspense is fucking killing me here, dude. 324 00:16:04,044 --> 00:16:06,012 Tell me what? 325 00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:07,480 I... I have some news. 326 00:16:07,514 --> 00:16:09,082 Yeah, me too. That's why I'm here. 327 00:16:09,116 --> 00:16:10,683 Great, why don't you go first? 328 00:16:10,717 --> 00:16:12,718 No, you first, dude. This is ridiculous. 329 00:16:12,753 --> 00:16:14,220 I wanna give her a fucking hug already. 330 00:16:15,956 --> 00:16:18,558 Why? 331 00:16:18,592 --> 00:16:20,193 Can't do it, can you? 332 00:16:20,227 --> 00:16:25,364 You're embarrassed of me. I fucking knew it. 333 00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:26,899 I wanted to tell you, but I didn't wanna do it 334 00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:28,935 over the phone. 335 00:16:28,969 --> 00:16:30,570 Hey, I got three bottles. I hope it's enough. 336 00:16:30,604 --> 00:16:32,839 I know you like to drink. 337 00:16:32,873 --> 00:16:36,275 Holy shit. Is this Becca? 338 00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:38,277 Holy shit. Oh, my gosh. 339 00:16:38,312 --> 00:16:40,613 It's so great to finally meet you. 340 00:16:40,647 --> 00:16:41,914 Who are you? 341 00:16:41,949 --> 00:16:43,783 I'm Julia, Levon's mom. 342 00:16:43,817 --> 00:16:47,053 Are you excited to meet your brother? 343 00:16:49,389 --> 00:16:51,357 My brother? 344 00:17:02,069 --> 00:17:03,803 Missus, you back! 345 00:17:03,837 --> 00:17:06,572 - Hi, Irma. - You put perfect? 346 00:17:06,607 --> 00:17:10,643 - Is he in? - Yes, of course, he's in. 347 00:17:10,677 --> 00:17:12,378 Marcy? 348 00:17:12,412 --> 00:17:15,248 - Hi, Stu. - Hi. 349 00:17:15,282 --> 00:17:16,382 How are you? 350 00:17:16,416 --> 00:17:19,585 - Never better. - Can we talk? 351 00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:22,088 - Of course. - Alone. 352 00:17:23,624 --> 00:17:26,159 Irma, you hear the woman of the house. 353 00:17:26,193 --> 00:17:29,028 Be gone with you! 354 00:17:29,062 --> 00:17:30,997 What can I do for you, Marcy? 355 00:17:31,031 --> 00:17:34,667 Um, I assume that the offer still stands? 356 00:17:34,701 --> 00:17:37,470 Well, of course it d... 357 00:17:37,504 --> 00:17:40,439 don't toy with me, woman. 358 00:17:40,474 --> 00:17:42,608 Are you in? 359 00:17:42,643 --> 00:17:45,178 Yes, I'm in. 360 00:17:45,212 --> 00:17:47,146 Okay. 361 00:17:47,181 --> 00:17:49,382 Let's do it. 362 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,983 - Yeah. - Here we... come on. 363 00:17:51,018 --> 00:17:52,752 Oh. Oh. 364 00:17:52,786 --> 00:17:54,620 Okay. 365 00:18:02,996 --> 00:18:06,999 So just sign right here. 366 00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:08,201 Okay. 367 00:18:08,235 --> 00:18:11,437 And if you could initial here... 368 00:18:11,471 --> 00:18:12,538 - Okay. - Yeah. 369 00:18:12,573 --> 00:18:15,007 - And right there. - Okay. 370 00:18:15,042 --> 00:18:16,542 And we are done. 371 00:18:16,577 --> 00:18:18,177 And I'll take that. Thank you. 372 00:18:18,212 --> 00:18:19,512 All right, so let's just... 373 00:18:19,546 --> 00:18:22,582 should we do this? Let's do this. 374 00:18:22,616 --> 00:18:25,184 - What? What, now? - Yeah. 375 00:18:25,219 --> 00:18:26,719 Now, there's no time like the present. 376 00:18:26,753 --> 00:18:28,821 I mean, let's get this shit over with. 377 00:18:28,855 --> 00:18:30,823 No offense. 378 00:18:30,857 --> 00:18:33,025 Yeah, let... let's just do it. 379 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,595 - Let's do it now. - Yeah. 380 00:18:35,629 --> 00:18:37,597 Okay. 381 00:18:39,366 --> 00:18:41,133 - Come here. - Okay. 382 00:18:41,168 --> 00:18:44,070 - Yeah. - All right. 383 00:18:44,104 --> 00:18:45,538 - Okay. - I've missed you. 384 00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:48,007 Okay. 385 00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:50,676 Aw. Okay. 386 00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:55,781 Okay. All right, Stu. 387 00:18:55,816 --> 00:18:57,550 Maybe not now. 388 00:18:57,584 --> 00:18:59,885 I just... it's too much. My head's not in the game. 389 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,521 - Can we just do this tomorrow? - Absolutely, darling. 390 00:19:02,556 --> 00:19:05,224 Absolutely, it would give me more time to prepare. 391 00:19:05,259 --> 00:19:09,729 I need to groom myself, could use a wax. 392 00:19:09,763 --> 00:19:11,163 Do you want to... 393 00:19:11,198 --> 00:19:13,599 To wax you before I fuck you for money? 394 00:19:13,634 --> 00:19:16,569 No, Stu. God, no. 395 00:19:16,603 --> 00:19:18,070 Understood. Understood. 396 00:19:18,105 --> 00:19:19,572 - So tomorrow. - Okay. 397 00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:21,274 - Okay. - Tomorrow. 398 00:19:21,308 --> 00:19:24,910 I will enter you tomorrow. 399 00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:26,512 Yes, you will. 400 00:19:26,546 --> 00:19:29,582 - I can't wait. - Yes. 401 00:19:29,616 --> 00:19:31,884 Good times. Yeah. 402 00:19:31,918 --> 00:19:35,855 - Good times. - Okay. 403 00:19:35,889 --> 00:19:38,224 Manana. 404 00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:20,633 Tomorrow, my dear. 405 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:22,268 Tonight... 406 00:20:26,139 --> 00:20:28,007 we practice. 407 00:20:35,282 --> 00:20:37,149 Yeah. 408 00:20:37,184 --> 00:20:41,153 Who's your daddy? Who's the daddy? 409 00:20:41,188 --> 00:20:43,289 - So you knocked up... - Julia. 410 00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:46,659 Sorry, so you knocked up Julia 411 00:20:46,693 --> 00:20:48,127 before you met mom? 412 00:20:48,161 --> 00:20:49,462 Oh, let's hope so. 413 00:20:49,496 --> 00:20:51,664 Oh, give me a break, Karen. Come on. 414 00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:53,065 Yeah, I didn't think about that. 415 00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,300 Do you think he was sleeping 416 00:20:54,334 --> 00:20:55,968 with both of us at the same time? 417 00:20:56,002 --> 00:20:57,903 W... yeah, I mean, I guess anything's possible. 418 00:20:57,938 --> 00:20:59,372 It's Hank we're talking about, right? 419 00:20:59,406 --> 00:21:00,439 I guess you're right. 420 00:21:00,474 --> 00:21:03,709 Ladies, I'm right here. 421 00:21:03,744 --> 00:21:07,713 Yes, I impregnated Julia just before I met your mom. 422 00:21:07,748 --> 00:21:09,882 Who you then quickly impregnated. 423 00:21:09,916 --> 00:21:11,517 What a fucking baller, huh? 424 00:21:11,551 --> 00:21:13,652 Honey, don't talk like that. 425 00:21:13,687 --> 00:21:15,688 Sorry, just... just trying to keep it light. 426 00:21:15,722 --> 00:21:17,223 My b, my b. 427 00:21:17,257 --> 00:21:19,225 Honey, I know this is a really shitty way 428 00:21:19,259 --> 00:21:20,826 to find out about something so huge, 429 00:21:20,861 --> 00:21:22,395 and I'm sorry. 430 00:21:22,429 --> 00:21:24,497 I don't know, given the story of my life, 431 00:21:24,531 --> 00:21:27,199 this seems perfectly appropriate. 432 00:21:27,234 --> 00:21:28,901 Yeah. 433 00:21:28,935 --> 00:21:32,805 So where... where do we go from here, Becca? 434 00:21:32,839 --> 00:21:35,341 What do you mean? 435 00:21:35,375 --> 00:21:36,909 What do you mean, what do I mean? 436 00:21:36,943 --> 00:21:39,478 I have a fucking sister. How cool is that? 437 00:21:39,513 --> 00:21:41,514 You have a fucking brother. How cool is that? 438 00:21:41,548 --> 00:21:44,049 I don't know yet. 439 00:21:44,084 --> 00:21:46,051 You're sarcastic, just like dad. 440 00:21:46,086 --> 00:21:48,154 I love it, I wanna fucking party with you, kid. 441 00:21:48,188 --> 00:21:50,423 Can you not call him that? 442 00:21:50,457 --> 00:21:52,825 But he's my father. 443 00:21:52,859 --> 00:21:54,994 He's my father. 444 00:21:55,028 --> 00:21:58,297 Okay, so he's our father. Deal with it, Becca. 445 00:21:58,331 --> 00:21:59,932 Hey, stop being such a dick. 446 00:21:59,966 --> 00:22:01,801 She's just absorbing the information right now. 447 00:22:01,835 --> 00:22:03,569 I knew you were gonna take her side. 448 00:22:03,603 --> 00:22:05,805 - I am not siding with anyone. - That's all right. 449 00:22:05,872 --> 00:22:07,339 You love her more, don't you? 450 00:22:07,374 --> 00:22:08,707 Why wouldn't you? She's your real kid. 451 00:22:08,742 --> 00:22:10,509 That's your real family. 452 00:22:10,544 --> 00:22:13,012 We're just the dirty one-night stand of families. 453 00:22:13,046 --> 00:22:14,713 I'm a retard, and my mom's a slut. 454 00:22:14,748 --> 00:22:17,249 Honey, don't talk like that. Behave yourself. 455 00:22:17,284 --> 00:22:19,185 Look, he's just... I'm sorry, he's emotional. 456 00:22:19,219 --> 00:22:20,686 Hey, hey... will you four 457 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,022 please excuse me while I go hang myself? 458 00:22:23,056 --> 00:22:25,491 No. You don't get to do that. 459 00:22:25,525 --> 00:22:28,627 You don't get to feel sorry for yourself. 460 00:22:28,662 --> 00:22:30,463 - Not even a little bit? - No, this is your life. 461 00:22:30,497 --> 00:22:31,931 - Deal with it. - Yeah. 462 00:22:31,965 --> 00:22:34,033 This is your life, Hank Moody. Deal with it. 463 00:22:34,067 --> 00:22:37,002 I am dealing with it. 464 00:22:38,238 --> 00:22:39,371 How was your trip, honey? 465 00:22:39,406 --> 00:22:42,174 It was amazing, actually. 466 00:22:42,209 --> 00:22:43,609 That's fantastic. 467 00:22:43,643 --> 00:22:46,712 How was... 468 00:22:46,746 --> 00:22:49,248 Now is not the time to be a dick, dad. 469 00:22:49,282 --> 00:22:51,317 Up high, sis. 470 00:22:55,422 --> 00:22:57,223 You're a little uptight. Anyone ever tell you that? 471 00:22:57,257 --> 00:22:59,225 I'm not... I'm not... I'm not being a dick. 472 00:22:59,259 --> 00:23:02,661 I... I... seriously, I... I don't remember the gentleman's name. 473 00:23:02,696 --> 00:23:05,030 - Ross. - Roscoe. 474 00:23:05,065 --> 00:23:07,333 Yeah, Roscoe. Good ol' Roscoe. 475 00:23:07,367 --> 00:23:08,400 Did he behave himself? Did Roscoe... 476 00:23:08,435 --> 00:23:09,869 Tread carefully, Hank. 477 00:23:09,903 --> 00:23:11,070 Why? What? I don't... I don't get it. 478 00:23:11,104 --> 00:23:12,671 Becca has news. 479 00:23:12,706 --> 00:23:14,807 Yes, she said that earlier, that she had news. 480 00:23:14,841 --> 00:23:16,976 Now's not the time, mom. 481 00:23:17,010 --> 00:23:18,577 You're right. I'm sorry. 482 00:23:18,612 --> 00:23:19,745 No, no, no, now is the time. 483 00:23:19,779 --> 00:23:22,948 I just came clean. Your turn. 484 00:23:26,553 --> 00:23:28,754 - I'm getting married. - Wow. 485 00:23:28,788 --> 00:23:30,389 - Congratulations. - Uh, no, you're not. 486 00:23:30,423 --> 00:23:33,859 - I am, dad. - No, you're not. 487 00:23:33,894 --> 00:23:36,729 Yeah, well, there's not a lot you can do about it, is there? 488 00:23:36,763 --> 00:23:38,163 Besides, don't you have your hands full 489 00:23:38,198 --> 00:23:39,965 at the moment, juggling your two families? 490 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,767 Becca, this is ridiculous. 491 00:23:41,801 --> 00:23:44,703 - Any more than this? - I love weddings. 492 00:23:44,738 --> 00:23:49,375 I mean, brother of the bride. Are you kidding me? 493 00:23:49,409 --> 00:23:51,343 I'm invited, right? 'Cause I'll totally come. 494 00:23:51,378 --> 00:23:52,678 Honey, I think we should go. 495 00:23:52,712 --> 00:23:54,613 What about pizza and movie night? 496 00:23:54,648 --> 00:23:56,582 - Do it another time. - Don't bother. 497 00:23:56,616 --> 00:23:58,117 - I wanna go home... - Okay, sweetie. 498 00:23:58,151 --> 00:24:01,387 Wherever the fuck that is these days. 499 00:24:22,442 --> 00:24:25,878 Sorry, baby. 500 00:24:25,912 --> 00:24:28,147 For what? 501 00:24:28,181 --> 00:24:30,983 Where the fuck do I begin? 502 00:24:31,017 --> 00:24:32,785 I'm not mad about Levon. 503 00:24:32,819 --> 00:24:36,322 It's kinda nice not being the only child anymore. 504 00:24:36,356 --> 00:24:38,290 I look forward to getting to know him, 505 00:24:38,325 --> 00:24:39,792 sort of. 506 00:24:39,826 --> 00:24:43,629 He seems... amusing. 507 00:24:43,663 --> 00:24:45,965 He is. He's a good kid. 508 00:24:45,999 --> 00:24:47,600 That's very mature of you to acknowledge that, 509 00:24:47,634 --> 00:24:49,101 but that's not surprising. 510 00:24:49,135 --> 00:24:51,770 You were always the mature one in the family. 511 00:24:51,805 --> 00:24:54,106 Ain't that the truth. 512 00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:56,642 Yeah. 513 00:24:56,676 --> 00:24:59,612 So what's all this about you getting married? 514 00:24:59,646 --> 00:25:02,948 Just that. I'm getting married. 515 00:25:02,983 --> 00:25:04,183 I know you think you're all head over heels 516 00:25:04,217 --> 00:25:05,651 in love with this guy at this point... 517 00:25:05,685 --> 00:25:08,621 Please don't be condescending right now. 518 00:25:08,655 --> 00:25:10,956 In exchange, I promise not to be condescending 519 00:25:10,991 --> 00:25:14,526 about your latest in a long line of chronic fuck-ups. 520 00:25:14,561 --> 00:25:16,295 Deal? 521 00:25:16,329 --> 00:25:20,432 My chronic fuck-ups aside, this is not a good idea, Becca. 522 00:25:20,467 --> 00:25:22,835 - Why? - 'Cause you're so young. 523 00:25:22,869 --> 00:25:26,505 I'm young, and you're old... 524 00:25:26,539 --> 00:25:28,107 Er. 525 00:25:28,141 --> 00:25:29,508 Thank you. 526 00:25:29,542 --> 00:25:31,744 What's your point? 527 00:25:31,778 --> 00:25:33,278 Looking back, can you honestly say 528 00:25:33,313 --> 00:25:35,748 that you're happy you never got married? 529 00:25:35,782 --> 00:25:36,882 Didn't it basically doom you 530 00:25:36,916 --> 00:25:38,317 to a lifetime of loneliness? 531 00:25:38,351 --> 00:25:40,019 It's not about being married 532 00:25:40,053 --> 00:25:41,687 or not being married, Becca. 533 00:25:41,721 --> 00:25:42,855 What's it about then? 534 00:25:42,889 --> 00:25:45,190 I don't know. 535 00:25:45,225 --> 00:25:47,993 Honestly, I couldn't tell you right now. 536 00:25:48,028 --> 00:25:50,963 But what are the odds that this particular clown... 537 00:25:50,997 --> 00:25:55,234 this particular young gentleman is the one? 538 00:25:55,268 --> 00:25:57,302 You're one to talk about odds. 539 00:25:57,337 --> 00:25:58,904 Didn't you get it right the first time? 540 00:25:58,938 --> 00:26:00,839 Isn't that what you're always bragging about? 541 00:26:00,874 --> 00:26:02,241 What makes you so fucking special? 542 00:26:02,275 --> 00:26:03,375 Why couldn't it happen to me too? 543 00:26:03,410 --> 00:26:04,710 Okay, okay, so why the rush? 544 00:26:04,744 --> 00:26:08,147 Because he asked, and I answered. 545 00:26:08,181 --> 00:26:11,283 And it feels right to me. I'm trusting my gut. 546 00:26:11,317 --> 00:26:14,319 I would think you of all people could understand that. 547 00:26:16,623 --> 00:26:20,325 I cannot in good conscience endorse this shit, Becca. 548 00:26:23,263 --> 00:26:24,730 You've got a lot of fucking nerve, dad, 549 00:26:24,764 --> 00:26:26,065 after all the shit you've asked me 550 00:26:26,099 --> 00:26:29,034 to endorse over the years? 551 00:26:29,069 --> 00:26:30,469 That's fair, fair enough. 552 00:26:30,503 --> 00:26:33,038 I come home with good news, great news, 553 00:26:33,073 --> 00:26:34,239 the biggest news in my life, 554 00:26:34,274 --> 00:26:35,708 and I can't even get it out 555 00:26:35,742 --> 00:26:36,942 before I'm confronted with the wreckage 556 00:26:36,976 --> 00:26:40,746 of your fucking past. 557 00:26:44,884 --> 00:26:47,653 I'm sorry. 558 00:26:49,689 --> 00:26:53,125 I don't... 559 00:26:53,159 --> 00:26:57,696 I don't know what else to say. 560 00:26:57,731 --> 00:27:01,333 Yeah, me too. 561 00:27:01,367 --> 00:27:02,434 We're doing it in New York. 562 00:27:02,469 --> 00:27:03,969 You can be a part of it or not. 563 00:27:04,003 --> 00:27:06,371 Totally up to you. 564 00:27:06,406 --> 00:27:08,941 But it's happening. 565 00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:10,075 And I'm not gonna let you make me 566 00:27:10,110 --> 00:27:13,078 fucking miserable about it. 567 00:27:25,725 --> 00:27:31,725 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -