1
00:00:07,153 --> 00:00:09,685
<i>Previously on Californication...</i>

2
00:00:09,695 --> 00:00:11,239
<i>Please, stay.</i>

3
00:00:11,239 --> 00:00:12,920
We need to get to know one another,

4
00:00:12,941 --> 00:00:15,315
I mean, our path are gonna be crossing.

5
00:00:15,325 --> 00:00:16,743
This is so great.

6
00:00:16,863 --> 00:00:20,977
<i>He would pay you, a million
dollars, to sleep with you?</i>

7
00:00:20,986 --> 00:00:24,222
<i>Consider this a signing
bonus, 10% up-front.</i>

8
00:00:24,222 --> 00:00:27,815
This kind of cash could get us
out of all our immediate debts.

9
00:00:27,846 --> 00:00:29,464
<i>I wanna talk to you about Becca.</i>

10
00:00:29,485 --> 00:00:30,861
When are you gonna tell her about Levon?

11
00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:32,289
- When is she getting back?
- In a few weeks.

12
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,077
In a few weeks then.

13
00:00:33,077 --> 00:00:35,032
- You guys aren't together, right?
- No, no...

14
00:00:35,032 --> 00:00:37,763
<i>I asked him about Julia, he
said he wasn't involved with her,</i>

15
00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:40,011
<i>next thing you know, he
was inside of her, so...</i>

16
00:00:40,043 --> 00:00:41,532
Wait, does this mean you guys
are getting back together?

17
00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:42,533
'Cause that would be incredible.

18
00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:44,727
It's like the world's
fucking greatest love story.

19
00:00:44,759 --> 00:00:46,251
Hank, I love you...

20
00:00:46,371 --> 00:00:48,131
but I can't be with you.

21
00:00:59,471 --> 00:01:02,439
Killing bad guys is my business,

22
00:01:02,474 --> 00:01:05,442
and business is [Bleep] cracking.

23
00:01:23,228 --> 00:01:25,162
How was it?

24
00:01:25,196 --> 00:01:27,498
It wasn't very good, was it?

25
00:01:27,532 --> 00:01:29,133
Are you fucking kidding me right now, mom?

26
00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:31,268
It sucked. Hard.

27
00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:32,870
I can't believe I even work for that show.

28
00:01:32,904 --> 00:01:34,838
I deserve way better.

29
00:01:34,873 --> 00:01:37,007
I hope your episode's better
than that fucking atrocity.

30
00:01:37,042 --> 00:01:39,510
Can't promise anything.

31
00:01:39,544 --> 00:01:41,278
Whatever.

32
00:01:41,312 --> 00:01:44,481
Going to bed. Good night, buddy.

33
00:01:44,516 --> 00:01:45,616
- Love you.
- Night.

34
00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:47,584
Love you.

35
00:01:57,429 --> 00:01:58,896
Hi.

36
00:01:58,930 --> 00:02:00,464
Hi.

37
00:02:00,498 --> 00:02:02,399
We haven't been alone
together in a long time.

38
00:02:02,434 --> 00:02:04,701
Which explains why my wiener

39
00:02:04,736 --> 00:02:06,270
feels so weird right now.

40
00:02:21,352 --> 00:02:25,355
Mom.

41
00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:26,890
What, honey?

42
00:02:26,925 --> 00:02:29,693
Is it cool if I...

43
00:02:29,727 --> 00:02:32,029
What?

44
00:02:32,063 --> 00:02:34,264
- What the fuck is he saying?
- I don't know.

45
00:02:34,299 --> 00:02:37,067
Can I sleep in the annex?

46
00:02:37,102 --> 00:02:40,104
What the fuck is the annex?
What the fuck are you holding?

47
00:02:40,138 --> 00:02:42,940
This is my lovey. It's
like my favorite blanket.

48
00:02:42,974 --> 00:02:44,875
I've had it since I was
a little fucking baby.

49
00:02:46,277 --> 00:02:47,878
Well, if you really think you need to.

50
00:02:47,912 --> 00:02:50,581
I do, I'm really worried about the future,

51
00:02:50,615 --> 00:02:53,050
- our future, all of us.
- Why?

52
00:02:53,084 --> 00:02:54,785
Show's gonna get canceled, dude,

53
00:02:54,819 --> 00:02:57,454
sooner rather than later,
and then what are we gonna do?

54
00:02:57,489 --> 00:02:59,189
All right, well, you
just stick a pin in that

55
00:02:59,224 --> 00:03:01,725
and go off to the annex and
get a good night's sleep.

56
00:03:01,759 --> 00:03:04,394
Okay.

57
00:03:04,429 --> 00:03:06,363
Whoa, thi... this is the annex right here?

58
00:03:06,397 --> 00:03:08,899
Mm-hmm.

59
00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:12,069
What the fuck? You
still breast-feeding too?

60
00:03:12,103 --> 00:03:13,904
I wish.

61
00:03:13,938 --> 00:03:17,040
Thanks, mom. Good night.

62
00:03:17,075 --> 00:03:20,444
Good night, dad.

63
00:03:20,478 --> 00:03:21,945
Good night.

64
00:04:18,403 --> 00:04:20,437
Gather round, people.

65
00:04:20,471 --> 00:04:23,740
Gather round. Gather round.

66
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,148
- Yeah, so we're canceled.
- No!

67
00:04:31,182 --> 00:04:34,351
One and out. Holy shit.

68
00:04:34,385 --> 00:04:36,353
Sorry, did I say that out loud?

69
00:04:36,387 --> 00:04:37,454
I gotta go call Gersh.

70
00:04:40,391 --> 00:04:41,892
Technically speaking, we've been asked

71
00:04:41,926 --> 00:04:44,394
to shut down production and go on hiatus.

72
00:04:44,429 --> 00:04:46,997
I mean, a hiatus sounds good, you know?

73
00:04:47,031 --> 00:04:48,632
I mean, I could use a break
from this fucking grind.

74
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:50,334
Oh, you're gonna have a nice, long break,

75
00:04:50,368 --> 00:04:53,804
all right, Hashtag?

76
00:04:53,838 --> 00:04:55,606
Look.

77
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,107
We threw a party. Nobody showed up.

78
00:04:57,141 --> 00:05:00,310
It happens.

79
00:05:00,345 --> 00:05:02,579
It's been a blast.

80
00:05:02,614 --> 00:05:04,381
Actually, you know what?
This hasn't been a blast.

81
00:05:04,415 --> 00:05:05,983
This has been a fucking pain in the ass,

82
00:05:06,017 --> 00:05:10,020
thankfully a relatively
short pain in the ass.

83
00:05:10,054 --> 00:05:11,588
Learn from this, people, okay?

84
00:05:11,623 --> 00:05:13,890
Take it with you to the next job,

85
00:05:13,925 --> 00:05:16,526
and appreciate what you
have while you have it,

86
00:05:16,561 --> 00:05:19,496
because usually, it ends just like this.

87
00:05:19,530 --> 00:05:21,765
Whoa, whoa, whoa, are...

88
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:24,234
aren't we gonna fight this shit?

89
00:05:24,269 --> 00:05:26,203
No, we're not gonna fight this shit, Levon.

90
00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:28,372
They can't just cancel our
show after one fucking episode.

91
00:05:28,406 --> 00:05:30,674
Yo, this tubby motherfucker is
speaking the truth right now.

92
00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:32,576
America voted, Hashtag.

93
00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:33,844
They don't like your shit.

94
00:05:35,647 --> 00:05:37,014
That really fucking
hurts my feelings, Rath.

95
00:05:37,048 --> 00:05:38,382
Oh, come on, man, it's all right.

96
00:05:38,416 --> 00:05:39,716
Hashtag, you'll live to butcher

97
00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:41,285
someone else's dialogue another day.

98
00:05:41,319 --> 00:05:43,654
That's the beauty of
this business of show...

99
00:05:43,688 --> 00:05:46,556
how many chances we get to
fuck it up all over again.

100
00:05:46,624 --> 00:05:48,925
Uh... many.

101
00:05:50,561 --> 00:05:53,797
All right, I will be in my office drinking

102
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:57,100
if anyone wants to say good-bye.

103
00:06:01,572 --> 00:06:03,840
I understand.

104
00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:06,610
I'm sorry, Hank.

105
00:06:06,644 --> 00:06:09,246
What's wrong?

106
00:06:11,349 --> 00:06:14,051
Santa Monica Cop got canceled.

107
00:06:14,085 --> 00:06:15,485
Lovely.

108
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,422
There goes that pathetic fucking
trickle of a revenue stream.

109
00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:21,258
I am sure I can get Hank on another show.

110
00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:24,061
Oh, God, Charlie.

111
00:06:24,095 --> 00:06:26,963
I have to fuck Stu.

112
00:06:28,633 --> 00:06:30,767
I know it's upsetting, baby.

113
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I'm crying because I
know you have to fuck Stu.

114
00:06:37,709 --> 00:06:39,476
I'm crying because I can't even fucking

115
00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:41,118
provide for you and our son.

116
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:44,236
I'm crying because our
life is so fucking pathetic

117
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,171
right now, it seems like
this is the only option.

118
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:48,273
So now, it's my turn to provide.

119
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,776
Big fucking deal.

120
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,278
I just have to go out and schtup my ex,

121
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,546
so we can make the rent.

122
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:59,651
There's worse things... I guess.

123
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:02,621
I'm gonna fucking kill myself!

124
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,656
Don't kill yourself, baby.

125
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,325
Don't you think our son has enough shit

126
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,959
to deal with about his old man,

127
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:10,629
you're gonna throw in paternal suicide too?

128
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,931
That's true. You're right.

129
00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:14,866
When you're right, you're right.

130
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,234
I just don't think I can stay here

131
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,736
knowing you're out there fucking Stu

132
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,205
without hurting myself.

133
00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:22,307
I have an idea.

134
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,076
- You're not gonna do it?
- No, I'm gonna do it.

135
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,911
I'm gonna do it,

136
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:30,082
but I think that maybe
you should do it too.

137
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:34,019
Fuck Stu?

138
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,922
No, you idiot. Fuck someone else.

139
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,857
If you have to deal with the unpleasantness

140
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,092
of me fucking Stu,

141
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,995
I think it's only fair that...

142
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,598
You should get to fuck somebody else too.

143
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,500
Really?

144
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,501
Yes.

145
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:52,437
I'm intrigued.

146
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,705
Continue, please.

147
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,677
Just once,

148
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:00,345
and I don't wanna know about it.

149
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,713
I'm serious.

150
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:06,051
You keep that shit to yourself.

151
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:10,555
I have a confession to make.

152
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,824
I'm incredibly hard right now.

153
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,760
Really?

154
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,428
That's funny

155
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:21,032
because I'm incredibly wet right now.

156
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,334
Are we sick people?

157
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:26,338
I think that goes without saying.

158
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,240
Should we bone?

159
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,076
I think that goes without saying.

160
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,211
Gotta move fast... I
literally have ten minutes

161
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,780
before I have to pick up Stuart

162
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:37,349
and get him to speech therapy.

163
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,925
Hey.

164
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,561
- May I?
- I insist.

165
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,868
You ever thought about giving up

166
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,236
all this television writing hoo-ha

167
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,704
and getting back to your music?

168
00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:02,834
Fuck that, this is the only thing I have

169
00:09:02,869 --> 00:09:05,303
that's actually pure.

170
00:09:05,338 --> 00:09:06,405
You know, the second you try

171
00:09:06,439 --> 00:09:07,472
and get serious about something,

172
00:09:07,507 --> 00:09:08,807
it loses all its magic.

173
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:12,177
Word to your mother.

174
00:09:12,211 --> 00:09:14,546
What's next?

175
00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:15,814
I have a deal with the studio.

176
00:09:15,848 --> 00:09:17,349
They'll ask me to step in and save

177
00:09:17,383 --> 00:09:20,385
some other fucking disaster

178
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,254
or... or write another pilot.

179
00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:24,556
Same shit, different year, you know.

180
00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:26,525
Gotta keep the pool heated, right?

181
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,260
So my son can defile it some more?

182
00:09:28,294 --> 00:09:30,128
Yeah.

183
00:09:30,163 --> 00:09:33,365
The real question is,
what's next for Hank Moody?

184
00:09:33,399 --> 00:09:34,866
Fuck if I know, man.

185
00:09:34,901 --> 00:09:36,368
You know, I don't think you should go

186
00:09:36,402 --> 00:09:38,870
work on another show.

187
00:09:38,905 --> 00:09:40,038
You don't think I have what it takes?

188
00:09:40,072 --> 00:09:41,440
No, you have what it takes.

189
00:09:41,474 --> 00:09:44,209
It's just a waste of what you have.

190
00:09:44,243 --> 00:09:45,844
I think you should
write a show of your own.

191
00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:48,613
Well, I appreciate that, but I...

192
00:09:48,648 --> 00:09:50,115
I... I don't know what I'd write about.

193
00:09:50,149 --> 00:09:53,452
I don't know about cops
or lawyers or doctors.

194
00:09:53,486 --> 00:09:55,086
No, no, no, no, fuck that shit.

195
00:09:55,121 --> 00:09:58,423
Write about what you do
know. Write about you.

196
00:09:58,458 --> 00:10:00,692
Write about your fucked-up friends.

197
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:04,129
Write about your kids,
the ones you know about.

198
00:10:04,163 --> 00:10:05,897
- Write about Karen.
- And Julia.

199
00:10:05,932 --> 00:10:07,599
Write about Julia.

200
00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:09,835
Just leave a little room in there

201
00:10:09,869 --> 00:10:11,269
for someone to swoop in and steal her away.

202
00:10:11,304 --> 00:10:12,404
Ah.

203
00:10:12,438 --> 00:10:15,106
Just a little.

204
00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:19,978
Think about it.

205
00:10:20,012 --> 00:10:21,546
I will.

206
00:11:02,154 --> 00:11:04,122
Hey, pretty lady.

207
00:11:04,156 --> 00:11:06,958
Hey there, sailor.

208
00:11:06,993 --> 00:11:09,594
- Charlie.
- Lisa.

209
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,433
What's the matter, Charlie?
You seem a little nervous.

210
00:11:15,468 --> 00:11:18,036
I am, I am, I'm a little nervous, yeah,

211
00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:19,538
more than I thought I would be.

212
00:11:19,572 --> 00:11:20,939
Aw, what's there to be nervous about?

213
00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,274
You're just a guy talking to a girl.

214
00:11:22,308 --> 00:11:24,876
I suppose you're right. Yeah.

215
00:11:24,911 --> 00:11:26,811
- Can I... can I buy you a drink?
- Sure.

216
00:11:26,846 --> 00:11:28,547
- I like drinks.
- Krull?

217
00:11:28,581 --> 00:11:30,882
Whatever the lady would like.

218
00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:34,219
The lady wants a jager shot.

219
00:11:34,253 --> 00:11:37,188
Uh, same for the gentleman, I guess.

220
00:12:02,582 --> 00:12:04,549
Married?

221
00:12:04,584 --> 00:12:08,420
This old thing.

222
00:12:08,454 --> 00:12:11,056
Yeah, we have kind of an arrangement, yeah.

223
00:12:11,090 --> 00:12:13,124
That's cool. I have a boyfriend.

224
00:12:13,159 --> 00:12:16,795
Right on, right on.

225
00:12:16,829 --> 00:12:18,797
So what did you have in mind?

226
00:12:18,831 --> 00:12:23,068
Oh, uh, a liaison, perhaps?

227
00:12:23,102 --> 00:12:25,070
Oh, liaison.

228
00:12:25,104 --> 00:12:27,672
I know a cheap little motel close by.

229
00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:30,875
- Really? What would you do?
- Do?

230
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:32,877
To me in a cheap hotel?

231
00:12:32,912 --> 00:12:35,380
To you, well, you know,
first, I would kiss you.

232
00:12:35,414 --> 00:12:37,716
No kissing. Not hot, not for a liaison.

233
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,784
No kissing. Okay.

234
00:12:39,819 --> 00:12:43,888
I... I would... I would
fondle your boobs...

235
00:12:43,923 --> 00:12:45,457
Right?

236
00:12:45,491 --> 00:12:47,792
Because, you know... and
then, I would maybe...

237
00:12:47,827 --> 00:12:49,928
maybe get a sense of your ass, you know?

238
00:12:49,962 --> 00:12:53,698
And then, I suppose my penis
would make an appearance.

239
00:12:53,766 --> 00:12:55,300
Ta-da.

240
00:12:55,334 --> 00:12:56,868
Yeah? I would put it in your mouth.

241
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,436
And then I might take it out again.

242
00:12:58,471 --> 00:13:00,171
Maybe I would slap you
on the forehead with it,

243
00:13:00,206 --> 00:13:02,240
just a little bit, you know, just for fun.

244
00:13:02,274 --> 00:13:03,642
- Just for fun.
- Wow.

245
00:13:03,676 --> 00:13:04,943
You're a dirty little birdie, Charlie.

246
00:13:04,977 --> 00:13:06,277
You have no idea, Lisa.

247
00:13:06,312 --> 00:13:08,980
Really? What else? I like this game.

248
00:13:09,015 --> 00:13:10,982
Okay, I would pull down your pants.

249
00:13:11,017 --> 00:13:12,450
I would tear off your panties
and stuff 'em in your mouth.

250
00:13:12,485 --> 00:13:14,052
Nice.

251
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:15,587
I would wrap the phone
cord around your neck.

252
00:13:15,621 --> 00:13:17,088
- Not too hard, of course.
- Oh, of course.

253
00:13:17,123 --> 00:13:19,324
- I would like to, you know...
- Rough is fun.

254
00:13:19,358 --> 00:13:23,261
Holy shit.

255
00:13:23,295 --> 00:13:25,964
You know what, you may
just be my sexual soul mate.

256
00:13:25,998 --> 00:13:27,399
Oh, that's sweet.

257
00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:29,234
And then, I would take you from behind.

258
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,469
I would fucking... oh,
no, no, no, scratch that.

259
00:13:31,504 --> 00:13:32,837
Not from behind, no, because that's...

260
00:13:32,872 --> 00:13:33,805
you know, it gets me going too much.

261
00:13:33,839 --> 00:13:35,440
It's too good.

262
00:13:35,474 --> 00:13:36,775
Yeah, it's like two
seconds, and I'd be done.

263
00:13:36,809 --> 00:13:38,443
Oh, no, we wouldn't want that.

264
00:13:38,477 --> 00:13:39,844
No, no. You know what?

265
00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:41,980
Allow me to demonstrate something for you

266
00:13:42,014 --> 00:13:44,315
that I like to call "La Runkle."

267
00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:45,583
Come here, come here, stand up.

268
00:13:45,618 --> 00:13:47,085
- Look at this.
- Okay.

269
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,688
I find that if I move in little circles,

270
00:13:49,722 --> 00:13:52,457
it keeps me in the game
far longer, far longer.

271
00:13:52,491 --> 00:13:55,026
This simple change from this to that,

272
00:13:55,061 --> 00:13:59,030
and it makes me last a little bit longer.

273
00:13:59,065 --> 00:14:01,299
What the fuck is this?

274
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:04,636
I beg your pardon?

275
00:14:05,905 --> 00:14:09,641
Mm.

276
00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:11,710
Who's the clown?

277
00:14:11,744 --> 00:14:12,944
This is Charlie.

278
00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:15,280
Charlie, this is my boyfriend Mack.

279
00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:17,882
Um, Charlie was just describing
what he'd like to do to me

280
00:14:17,917 --> 00:14:20,085
in a cheap motel.

281
00:14:20,119 --> 00:14:21,920
Oh, yeah?

282
00:14:21,954 --> 00:14:24,589
Wanna know what I'd do to
you in a cheap motel, Charlie?

283
00:14:24,623 --> 00:14:25,657
Or even in a bar?

284
00:14:28,828 --> 00:14:31,496
Come on, dirty girl. Let's get naked.

285
00:14:39,405 --> 00:14:40,972
- What's up, Harpo?
- You know what, dad?

286
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,474
You got a great fucking body, seriously.

287
00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:43,641
Thanks?

288
00:14:43,676 --> 00:14:45,043
Yeah, I wish the apple fell

289
00:14:45,077 --> 00:14:46,745
a little closer to the bush on that one.

290
00:14:46,779 --> 00:14:47,912
- That's not...
- How do I...

291
00:14:47,947 --> 00:14:50,048
how do I get abs like that?

292
00:14:50,082 --> 00:14:51,783
I would start by laying
off the fucking pizza.

293
00:14:51,817 --> 00:14:53,551
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

294
00:14:53,586 --> 00:14:54,853
This is a great idea, dad.

295
00:14:54,887 --> 00:14:56,721
I fucking love pizza and movie night.

296
00:14:56,756 --> 00:14:58,923
Just what the doctor ordered, you know?

297
00:14:58,958 --> 00:14:59,891
So what if I'm unemployed now?

298
00:14:59,925 --> 00:15:01,760
Well, I talked to Rath,

299
00:15:01,794 --> 00:15:03,828
and he's gonna let you stay
on for as long as he can.

300
00:15:03,863 --> 00:15:05,230
Yeah, but then what?

301
00:15:05,264 --> 00:15:06,798
Then you go out, and you get another job.

302
00:15:06,832 --> 00:15:08,166
Yeah, but how am I just gonna luck

303
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,801
into another job like I did with this one?

304
00:15:09,835 --> 00:15:11,669
Well, maybe you don't
luck into another job.

305
00:15:11,704 --> 00:15:14,506
Maybe you actually go out and you find one.

306
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:18,409
Mm, yeah, that's... that's
never really worked for me.

307
00:15:18,444 --> 00:15:19,911
I'm gonna throw some clothes on.

308
00:15:19,945 --> 00:15:23,081
Hurry up, dude. Pizza's gonna get cold.

309
00:15:26,819 --> 00:15:29,320
Fuck. God damn it.

310
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:35,260
Mom? Thank God.

311
00:15:35,294 --> 00:15:38,329
You gotta help me.

312
00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:43,768
Oh, my God. Hi.

313
00:15:43,803 --> 00:15:45,570
- Hi.
- You're... you're Becca.

314
00:15:45,604 --> 00:15:49,040
Yes, I am. And you are...

315
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,975
Levon. I'm... I'm Levon. Hi!

316
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:54,445
Nice to meet you, Levon.

317
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,147
You said my name right.

318
00:15:56,182 --> 00:15:58,983
- Is that unusual?
- Yeah.

319
00:15:59,018 --> 00:16:01,619
I'm sorry, did you... do you know about me?

320
00:16:01,654 --> 00:16:02,954
No.

321
00:16:02,988 --> 00:16:04,389
You don't know about me? Shit.

322
00:16:04,423 --> 00:16:06,591
I'm looking for my father.

323
00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:09,327
Yeah, he's... he's getting dressed.

324
00:16:09,361 --> 00:16:10,728
Where's Charlie and Marcy?

325
00:16:10,763 --> 00:16:12,730
I don't know. They're weird.

326
00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:14,299
Yeah, they are.

327
00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:16,601
You're a lot hotter than your pictures.

328
00:16:16,635 --> 00:16:18,002
Thanks?

329
00:16:18,037 --> 00:16:21,072
Um, I'm sorry. That's weird.

330
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:23,441
But your mom's totally hot, makes sense.

331
00:16:23,475 --> 00:16:25,076
- You know my mom?
- Yeah, she's cool.

332
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,444
Super milfy. Where is she?

333
00:16:26,478 --> 00:16:27,812
Parking the car.

334
00:16:27,847 --> 00:16:29,347
So how do you know my father?

335
00:16:29,381 --> 00:16:33,184
Let's get this pizza-movie night started.

336
00:16:36,856 --> 00:16:37,922
Sweetie.

337
00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:40,058
Oh.

338
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,897
Oh.

339
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:51,669
So I met your strange little friend.

340
00:16:51,704 --> 00:16:53,271
Yeah.

341
00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:55,206
About my strange little friend...

342
00:16:55,241 --> 00:16:56,641
Will you just tell her already?

343
00:16:56,675 --> 00:16:58,810
The suspense is fucking
killing me here, dude.

344
00:16:58,844 --> 00:17:00,812
Tell me what?

345
00:17:00,846 --> 00:17:02,280
I... I have some news.

346
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:03,882
Yeah, me too. That's why I'm here.

347
00:17:03,916 --> 00:17:05,483
Great, why don't you go first?

348
00:17:05,517 --> 00:17:07,518
No, you first, dude. This is ridiculous.

349
00:17:07,553 --> 00:17:09,020
I wanna give her a fucking hug already.

350
00:17:10,756 --> 00:17:13,358
Why?

351
00:17:13,392 --> 00:17:14,993
Can't do it, can you?

352
00:17:15,027 --> 00:17:20,164
You're embarrassed of
me. I fucking knew it.

353
00:17:20,199 --> 00:17:21,699
I wanted to tell you,
but I didn't wanna do it

354
00:17:21,734 --> 00:17:23,735
over the phone.

355
00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:25,370
Hey, I got three bottles.
I hope it's enough.

356
00:17:25,404 --> 00:17:27,639
I know you like to drink.

357
00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:31,075
Holy shit. Is this Becca?

358
00:17:31,110 --> 00:17:33,077
Holy shit. Oh, my gosh.

359
00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:35,413
It's so great to finally meet you.

360
00:17:35,447 --> 00:17:36,714
Who are you?

361
00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:38,583
I'm Julia, Levon's mom.

362
00:17:38,617 --> 00:17:41,853
Are you excited to meet your brother?

363
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,157
My brother?

364
00:17:56,869 --> 00:17:58,603
Missus, you back!

365
00:17:58,637 --> 00:18:01,372
- Hi, Irma.
- You put perfect?

366
00:18:01,407 --> 00:18:05,443
- Is he in?
- Yes, of course, he's in.

367
00:18:05,477 --> 00:18:07,178
Marcy?

368
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:10,048
- Hi, Stu.
- Hi.

369
00:18:10,082 --> 00:18:11,182
How are you?

370
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:14,385
- Never better.
- Can we talk?

371
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,888
- Of course.
- Alone.

372
00:18:18,424 --> 00:18:20,959
Irma, you hear the woman of the house.

373
00:18:20,993 --> 00:18:23,828
Be gone with you!

374
00:18:23,862 --> 00:18:25,797
What can I do for you, Marcy?

375
00:18:25,831 --> 00:18:29,467
Um, I assume that the offer still stands?

376
00:18:29,501 --> 00:18:32,270
Well, of course it d...

377
00:18:32,304 --> 00:18:35,239
don't toy with me, woman.

378
00:18:35,274 --> 00:18:37,408
Are you in?

379
00:18:37,443 --> 00:18:39,978
Yes, I'm in.

380
00:18:40,012 --> 00:18:41,946
Okay.

381
00:18:41,981 --> 00:18:44,182
Let's do it.

382
00:18:44,216 --> 00:18:45,783
- Yeah.
- Here we... come on.

383
00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:47,552
Oh. Oh.

384
00:18:47,586 --> 00:18:49,420
Okay.

385
00:18:57,796 --> 00:19:01,799
So just sign right here.

386
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:03,001
Okay.

387
00:19:03,035 --> 00:19:06,237
And if you could initial here...

388
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:07,338
- Okay.
- Yeah.

389
00:19:07,373 --> 00:19:09,807
- And right there.
- Okay.

390
00:19:09,842 --> 00:19:11,342
And we are done.

391
00:19:11,377 --> 00:19:12,977
And I'll take that. Thank you.

392
00:19:13,012 --> 00:19:14,312
All right, so let's just...

393
00:19:14,346 --> 00:19:17,382
should we do this? Let's do this.

394
00:19:17,416 --> 00:19:19,984
- What? What, now?
- Yeah.

395
00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:21,519
Now, there's no time like the present.

396
00:19:21,553 --> 00:19:23,621
I mean, let's get this shit over with.

397
00:19:23,655 --> 00:19:25,623
No offense.

398
00:19:25,657 --> 00:19:27,825
Yeah, let... let's just do it.

399
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:30,395
- Let's do it now.
- Yeah.

400
00:19:30,429 --> 00:19:32,397
Okay.

401
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:35,933
- Come here.
- Okay.

402
00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:38,870
- Yeah.
- All right.

403
00:19:38,904 --> 00:19:40,338
- Okay.
- I've missed you.

404
00:19:40,372 --> 00:19:42,807
Okay.

405
00:19:42,841 --> 00:19:45,476
Aw. Okay.

406
00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:50,581
Okay. All right, Stu.

407
00:19:50,616 --> 00:19:52,350
Maybe not now.

408
00:19:52,384 --> 00:19:54,685
I just... it's too much.
My head's not in the game.

409
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,321
- Can we just do this tomorrow?
- Absolutely, darling.

410
00:19:57,356 --> 00:20:00,024
Absolutely, it would give
me more time to prepare.

411
00:20:00,059 --> 00:20:04,529
I need to groom myself, could use a wax.

412
00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:05,963
Do you want to...

413
00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:08,399
To wax you before I fuck you for money?

414
00:20:08,434 --> 00:20:11,369
No, Stu. God, no.

415
00:20:11,403 --> 00:20:12,870
Understood. Understood.

416
00:20:12,905 --> 00:20:14,372
- So tomorrow.
- Okay.

417
00:20:14,406 --> 00:20:16,074
- Okay.
- Tomorrow.

418
00:20:16,108 --> 00:20:19,710
I will enter you tomorrow.

419
00:20:19,745 --> 00:20:21,312
Yes, you will.

420
00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:24,382
- I can't wait.
- Yes.

421
00:20:24,416 --> 00:20:26,684
Good times. Yeah.

422
00:20:26,718 --> 00:20:30,655
- Good times.
- Okay.

423
00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:33,024
Manana.

424
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:15,433
Tomorrow, my dear.

425
00:21:15,467 --> 00:21:17,068
Tonight...

426
00:21:20,939 --> 00:21:22,807
we practice.

427
00:21:30,082 --> 00:21:31,949
Yeah.

428
00:21:31,984 --> 00:21:35,953
Who's your daddy? Who's the daddy?

429
00:21:35,988 --> 00:21:38,089
- So you knocked up...
- Julia.

430
00:21:38,123 --> 00:21:41,459
Sorry, so you knocked up Julia

431
00:21:41,493 --> 00:21:42,927
before you met mom?

432
00:21:42,961 --> 00:21:44,262
Oh, let's hope so.

433
00:21:44,296 --> 00:21:46,464
Oh, give me a break, Karen. Come on.

434
00:21:46,498 --> 00:21:47,865
Yeah, I didn't think about that.

435
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:49,100
Do you think he was sleeping

436
00:21:49,134 --> 00:21:50,768
with both of us at the same time?

437
00:21:50,802 --> 00:21:52,703
W... yeah, I mean, I
guess anything's possible.

438
00:21:52,738 --> 00:21:54,172
It's Hank we're talking about, right?

439
00:21:54,206 --> 00:21:55,239
I guess you're right.

440
00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:58,509
Ladies, I'm right here.

441
00:21:58,544 --> 00:22:02,513
Yes, I impregnated Julia
just before I met your mom.

442
00:22:02,548 --> 00:22:04,682
Who you then quickly impregnated.

443
00:22:04,716 --> 00:22:06,317
What a fucking baller, huh?

444
00:22:06,351 --> 00:22:08,452
Honey, don't talk like that.

445
00:22:08,487 --> 00:22:10,488
Sorry, just... just
trying to keep it light.

446
00:22:10,522 --> 00:22:12,023
My b, my b.

447
00:22:12,057 --> 00:22:14,025
Honey, I know this is a really shitty way

448
00:22:14,059 --> 00:22:15,626
to find out about something so huge,

449
00:22:15,661 --> 00:22:17,195
and I'm sorry.

450
00:22:17,229 --> 00:22:19,297
I don't know, given the story of my life,

451
00:22:19,331 --> 00:22:21,999
this seems perfectly appropriate.

452
00:22:22,034 --> 00:22:23,701
Yeah.

453
00:22:23,735 --> 00:22:27,605
So where... where do
we go from here, Becca?

454
00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:30,141
What do you mean?

455
00:22:30,175 --> 00:22:31,709
What do you mean, what do I mean?

456
00:22:31,743 --> 00:22:34,278
I have a fucking sister. How cool is that?

457
00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,314
You have a fucking
brother. How cool is that?

458
00:22:36,348 --> 00:22:38,849
I don't know yet.

459
00:22:38,884 --> 00:22:40,851
You're sarcastic, just like dad.

460
00:22:40,886 --> 00:22:42,954
I love it, I wanna fucking
party with you, kid.

461
00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:45,223
Can you not call him that?

462
00:22:45,257 --> 00:22:47,625
But he's my father.

463
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,794
He's my father.

464
00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:53,097
Okay, so he's our father.
Deal with it, Becca.

465
00:22:53,131 --> 00:22:54,732
Hey, stop being such a dick.

466
00:22:54,766 --> 00:22:56,601
She's just absorbing the
information right now.

467
00:22:56,635 --> 00:22:58,369
I knew you were gonna take her side.

468
00:22:58,403 --> 00:23:00,605
- I am not siding with anyone.
- That's all right.

469
00:23:00,672 --> 00:23:02,139
You love her more, don't you?

470
00:23:02,174 --> 00:23:03,507
Why wouldn't you? She's your real kid.

471
00:23:03,542 --> 00:23:05,309
That's your real family.

472
00:23:05,344 --> 00:23:07,812
We're just the dirty
one-night stand of families.

473
00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:09,513
I'm a retard, and my mom's a slut.

474
00:23:09,548 --> 00:23:12,049
Honey, don't talk like
that. Behave yourself.

475
00:23:12,084 --> 00:23:13,985
Look, he's just... I'm
sorry, he's emotional.

476
00:23:14,019 --> 00:23:15,486
Hey, hey... will you four

477
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,822
please excuse me while I go hang myself?

478
00:23:17,856 --> 00:23:20,291
No. You don't get to do that.

479
00:23:20,325 --> 00:23:23,427
You don't get to feel sorry for yourself.

480
00:23:23,462 --> 00:23:25,263
- Not even a little bit?
- No, this is your life.

481
00:23:25,297 --> 00:23:26,731
- Deal with it.
- Yeah.

482
00:23:26,765 --> 00:23:28,833
This is your life, Hank
Moody. Deal with it.

483
00:23:28,867 --> 00:23:31,802
I am dealing with it.

484
00:23:33,038 --> 00:23:34,171
How was your trip, honey?

485
00:23:34,206 --> 00:23:36,974
It was amazing, actually.

486
00:23:37,009 --> 00:23:38,409
That's fantastic.

487
00:23:38,443 --> 00:23:41,512
How was...

488
00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:44,048
Now is not the time to be a dick, dad.

489
00:23:44,082 --> 00:23:46,117
Up high, sis.

490
00:23:50,222 --> 00:23:52,023
You're a little uptight.
Anyone ever tell you that?

491
00:23:52,057 --> 00:23:54,025
I'm not... I'm not... I'm not being a dick.

492
00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:57,461
I... I... seriously, I... I don't
remember the gentleman's name.

493
00:23:57,496 --> 00:23:59,830
- Ross.
- Roscoe.

494
00:23:59,865 --> 00:24:02,133
Yeah, Roscoe. Good ol' Roscoe.

495
00:24:02,167 --> 00:24:03,200
Did he behave himself? Did Roscoe...

496
00:24:03,235 --> 00:24:04,669
Tread carefully, Hank.

497
00:24:04,703 --> 00:24:05,870
Why? What? I don't... I don't get it.

498
00:24:05,904 --> 00:24:07,471
Becca has news.

499
00:24:07,506 --> 00:24:09,607
Yes, she said that
earlier, that she had news.

500
00:24:09,641 --> 00:24:11,776
Now's not the time, mom.

501
00:24:11,810 --> 00:24:13,377
You're right. I'm sorry.

502
00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:14,545
No, no, no, now is the time.

503
00:24:14,579 --> 00:24:17,748
I just came clean. Your turn.

504
00:24:21,353 --> 00:24:23,554
- I'm getting married.
- Wow.

505
00:24:23,588 --> 00:24:25,189
- Congratulations.
- Uh, no, you're not.

506
00:24:25,223 --> 00:24:28,659
- I am, dad.
- No, you're not.

507
00:24:28,694 --> 00:24:31,529
Yeah, well, there's not a lot
you can do about it, is there?

508
00:24:31,563 --> 00:24:32,963
Besides, don't you have your hands full

509
00:24:32,998 --> 00:24:34,765
at the moment, juggling your two families?

510
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,567
Becca, this is ridiculous.

511
00:24:36,601 --> 00:24:39,503
- Any more than this?
- I love weddings.

512
00:24:39,538 --> 00:24:44,175
I mean, brother of the
bride. Are you kidding me?

513
00:24:44,209 --> 00:24:46,143
I'm invited, right?
'Cause I'll totally come.

514
00:24:46,178 --> 00:24:47,478
Honey, I think we should go.

515
00:24:47,512 --> 00:24:49,413
What about pizza and movie night?

516
00:24:49,448 --> 00:24:51,382
- Do it another time.
- Don't bother.

517
00:24:51,416 --> 00:24:52,917
- I wanna go home...
- Okay, sweetie.

518
00:24:52,951 --> 00:24:56,187
Wherever the fuck that is these days.

519
00:25:17,242 --> 00:25:20,678
Sorry, baby.

520
00:25:20,712 --> 00:25:22,947
For what?

521
00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,783
Where the fuck do I begin?

522
00:25:25,817 --> 00:25:27,585
I'm not mad about Levon.

523
00:25:27,619 --> 00:25:31,122
It's kinda nice not being
the only child anymore.

524
00:25:31,156 --> 00:25:33,090
I look forward to getting to know him,

525
00:25:33,125 --> 00:25:34,592
sort of.

526
00:25:34,626 --> 00:25:38,429
He seems... amusing.

527
00:25:38,463 --> 00:25:40,765
He is. He's a good kid.

528
00:25:40,799 --> 00:25:42,400
That's very mature of
you to acknowledge that,

529
00:25:42,434 --> 00:25:43,901
but that's not surprising.

530
00:25:43,935 --> 00:25:46,570
You were always the
mature one in the family.

531
00:25:46,605 --> 00:25:48,906
Ain't that the truth.

532
00:25:48,940 --> 00:25:51,442
Yeah.

533
00:25:51,476 --> 00:25:54,412
So what's all this about
you getting married?

534
00:25:54,446 --> 00:25:57,748
Just that. I'm getting married.

535
00:25:57,783 --> 00:25:58,983
I know you think you're all head over heels

536
00:25:59,017 --> 00:26:00,451
in love with this guy at this point...

537
00:26:00,485 --> 00:26:03,421
Please don't be condescending right now.

538
00:26:03,455 --> 00:26:05,756
In exchange, I promise
not to be condescending

539
00:26:05,791 --> 00:26:09,326
about your latest in a long
line of chronic fuck-ups.

540
00:26:09,361 --> 00:26:11,095
Deal?

541
00:26:11,129 --> 00:26:15,232
My chronic fuck-ups aside,
this is not a good idea, Becca.

542
00:26:15,267 --> 00:26:17,635
- Why?
- 'Cause you're so young.

543
00:26:17,669 --> 00:26:21,305
I'm young, and you're old...

544
00:26:21,339 --> 00:26:22,907
Er.

545
00:26:22,941 --> 00:26:24,308
Thank you.

546
00:26:24,342 --> 00:26:26,544
What's your point?

547
00:26:26,578 --> 00:26:28,078
Looking back, can you honestly say

548
00:26:28,113 --> 00:26:30,548
that you're happy you never got married?

549
00:26:30,582 --> 00:26:31,682
Didn't it basically doom you

550
00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:33,117
to a lifetime of loneliness?

551
00:26:33,151 --> 00:26:34,819
It's not about being married

552
00:26:34,853 --> 00:26:36,487
or not being married, Becca.

553
00:26:36,521 --> 00:26:37,655
What's it about then?

554
00:26:37,689 --> 00:26:39,990
I don't know.

555
00:26:40,025 --> 00:26:42,793
Honestly, I couldn't tell you right now.

556
00:26:42,828 --> 00:26:45,763
But what are the odds that
this particular clown...

557
00:26:45,797 --> 00:26:50,034
this particular young gentleman is the one?

558
00:26:50,068 --> 00:26:52,102
You're one to talk about odds.

559
00:26:52,137 --> 00:26:53,704
Didn't you get it right the first time?

560
00:26:53,738 --> 00:26:55,639
Isn't that what you're
always bragging about?

561
00:26:55,674 --> 00:26:57,041
What makes you so fucking special?

562
00:26:57,075 --> 00:26:58,175
Why couldn't it happen to me too?

563
00:26:58,210 --> 00:26:59,510
Okay, okay, so why the rush?

564
00:26:59,544 --> 00:27:02,947
Because he asked, and I answered.

565
00:27:02,981 --> 00:27:06,083
And it feels right to
me. I'm trusting my gut.

566
00:27:06,117 --> 00:27:09,119
I would think you of all
people could understand that.

567
00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:15,125
I cannot in good conscience
endorse this shit, Becca.

568
00:27:18,063 --> 00:27:19,530
You've got a lot of fucking nerve, dad,

569
00:27:19,564 --> 00:27:20,865
after all the shit you've asked me

570
00:27:20,899 --> 00:27:23,834
to endorse over the years?

571
00:27:23,869 --> 00:27:25,269
That's fair, fair enough.

572
00:27:25,303 --> 00:27:27,838
I come home with good news, great news,

573
00:27:27,873 --> 00:27:29,039
the biggest news in my life,

574
00:27:29,074 --> 00:27:30,508
and I can't even get it out

575
00:27:30,542 --> 00:27:31,742
before I'm confronted with the wreckage

576
00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:35,546
of your fucking past.

577
00:27:39,684 --> 00:27:42,453
I'm sorry.

578
00:27:44,489 --> 00:27:47,925
I don't...

579
00:27:47,959 --> 00:27:52,496
I don't know what else to say.

580
00:27:52,531 --> 00:27:56,133
Yeah, me too.

581
00:27:56,167 --> 00:27:57,234
We're doing it in New York.

582
00:27:57,269 --> 00:27:58,769
You can be a part of it or not.

583
00:27:58,803 --> 00:28:01,171
Totally up to you.

584
00:28:01,206 --> 00:28:03,741
But it's happening.

585
00:28:03,775 --> 00:28:04,875
And I'm not gonna let you make me

586
00:28:04,910 --> 00:28:07,878
fucking miserable about it.

587
00:28:20,525 --> 00:28:26,525
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