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Previously on Californication:
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00:00:10,977 --> 00:00:13,002
- Oh, hi.
- Please, stay.
3
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:16,774
We need to get to know one another.
I mean, our paths are gonna be crossing.
4
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,440
This is so great.
5
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:22,520
He would pay you a million dollars
to sleep with you?
6
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:26,181
Well, consider this a signing bonus,
10 percent up front.
7
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,419
This kind of cash could get us out
of all of our immediate debt.
8
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,429
I wanna talk about Becca.
When will you tell her about Levon?
9
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,066
- When is she back?
- A few weeks.
10
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,566
- In a few weeks, then.
- You guys aren't together?
11
00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:38,294
- No.
- I asked him about Julia.
12
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:41,406
He said he wasn't involved with her.
Next, he was inside of her.
13
00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:44,065
Are you guys back together?
That would be incredible.
14
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,405
It's like the world's greatest love story.
15
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:50,216
Hank, I love you,
but I can't be with you.
16
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,155
Killing bad guys is my business...
17
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:07,199
... and business is ******* cracking.
18
00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:26,183
How was it?
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00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:29,014
It wasn't very good, was it?
20
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Are you fucking kidding me
right now, Mom? It sucked hard.
21
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:36,291
I can't believe I even work
for that show. I deserve way better.
22
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,658
I hope your episode's better
than that atrocity.
23
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,857
Can't promise anything.
24
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,793
Whatever.
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00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:45,802
- Going to bed.
- Good night, buddy.
26
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,740
- Love you.
- Night. Love you.
27
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:02,012
- Hi.
- Hi.
28
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,179
We haven't been alone in a long time.
29
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:08,020
Which explains why my wiener
feels so weird right now.
30
00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,569
Mom?
31
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,403
What, honey?
32
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:32,813
- Is it cool if I?
- What?
33
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,979
- What the fuck is he saying?
- I don't know.
34
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,714
Can I sleep in the annex?
35
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,855
What the fuck is the annex?
What the fuck are you holding?
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00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:44,622
This is my lovey.
It's like my favorite blanket.
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I've had it since
I was a little fucking baby.
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- Lf you really think you need to.
- I do. I'm really worried about the future.
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00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,000
- Our future, all of us.
- Why?
40
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,506
Show's gonna get canceled...
41
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,372
...sooner rather than later,
and then what are we gonna do?
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Well, you just stick a pin in that
and go off to the annex...
43
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,040
...and get a good night's sleep.
- Okay.
44
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,988
Whoa, this is the annex, right here?
45
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,287
What the fuck?
You still breast-feeding too?
46
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:15,318
I wish.
47
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:18,521
Thanks, Mom. Good night.
48
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,632
Good night, Dad.
49
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,602
Good night.
50
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:23,326
Gather around, people.
Gather around, gather around.
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- Yeah, so we're canceled.
- No.
52
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,139
One and out. Holy shit.
53
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,172
Sorry, did I say that out loud?
I gotta go call Gersh.
54
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:46,112
Technically speaking, we've been asked
to shut down production and go on hiatus.
55
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,413
I mean, hiatus sounds good,
you know?
56
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,351
I could use a break from this grind.
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00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:53,856
Oh, you're gonna have a nice
long break, all right, Hashtag.
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00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:56,894
Look.
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00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,527
We threw a party,
nobody showed up. It happens.
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00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,925
It's been a blast.
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00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:07,434
Actually, this hasn't been a blast.
This has been a pain in the ass.
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00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,007
Thankfully a relatively short
pain in the ass.
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00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:15,341
Learn from this, people, okay?
Take it with you to the next job...
64
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:18,177
...and appreciate what you have
while you have it...
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00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:21,252
...because usually it ends just like this.
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00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:25,016
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
aren't we gonna fight this shit?
67
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,850
No, we're not gonna fight
this shit, Levon.
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00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:30,086
They can't cancel our show
after one episode.
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00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,697
Yo, this tubby motherfucker
is speaking the truth.
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00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:35,561
America voted, Hashtag.
They don't like your shit.
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00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,799
- That really hurts my feelings.
- Come on, it's all right.
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00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:42,941
You'll live to butcher someone else's
dialogue another day.
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00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:45,407
That's the beauty
of this business of show...
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00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:48,274
...how many chances we get
to fuck it up all over again.
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00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:50,708
Many.
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00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:57,885
All right, I will be in my office drinking,
if anyone wants to say goodbye.
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00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,632
I understand. I'm sorry, Hank.
78
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:09,965
What's wrong?
79
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:15,530
Santa Monica Cop got canceled.
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00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:20,145
Lovely. There goes that pathetic
fucking trickle of a revenue stream.
81
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,975
I am sure I can get Hank
on another show.
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Oh, God, Charlie, I have to fuck Stu.
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I know it's upsetting, baby.
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00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:37,955
I'm crying because
I know you have to fuck Stu.
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00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,793
I'm crying because I can't even
fucking provide for you and our son.
86
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:46,097
I'm crying because our life
is so fucking pathetic right now...
87
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:49,833
...it seems like this is the only option.
- So now it's my turn to provide.
88
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,273
Big fucking deal.
89
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I just have to go out and shtup my ex
so we can make the rent.
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00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,485
There's worse things, I guess.
91
00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:03,485
I'm gonna fucking kill myself!
92
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,154
Don't kill yourself, baby.
93
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,692
Don't you think our son has enough shit
to deal with about his old man...
94
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:12,126
...you're gonna throw in
paternal suicide too?
95
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,391
That's true. You're right.
96
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,398
When you're right, you're right.
97
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,298
I just don't think I can stay here...
98
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,531
...knowing you're out there
fucking Stu without hurting myself.
99
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,637
I have an idea.
100
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,971
- You're not gonna do it?
- No, I'm gonna do it.
101
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:27,709
I'm gonna do it.
102
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,010
But I think that maybe you
should do it too.
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Fuck Stu?
104
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No, you idiot. Fuck someone else.
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If you have to deal with
the unpleasantness of me fucking Stu...
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...I think it's only fair that...
107
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...you should get to fuck
somebody else too.
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00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,926
Really?
109
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:53,729
- Yes.
- I'm intrigued.
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Continue, please.
111
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,044
Just once...
112
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,908
...and I don't wanna know about it.
113
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I'm serious.
You keep that shit to yourself.
114
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:09,052
I have a confession to make.
115
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I'm incredibly hard right now.
116
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Really?
117
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That's funny, because
I'm incredibly wet right now.
118
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,067
Are we sick people?
119
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,070
I think that goes without saying.
120
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,803
Should we bone?
121
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,534
I think that goes without saying.
122
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,775
Gotta move fast. I have 10 minutes...
123
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:38,383
...before I have to pick up Stuart
and get him to speech therapy.
124
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Hey.
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- May I?
- I insist.
126
00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:00,296
E*ver thought about giving up
all this television-writing hoo-ha...
127
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,634
...and getting back to your music?
128
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:06,037
Fuck that, this is the only thing
I have that's actually pure.
129
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:10,642
The second you try and get serious
about something, it loses all its magic.
130
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,981
Word to your mother.
131
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,287
- What's next?
- I have a deal with the studio.
132
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:21,916
They'll ask me to step in and save
some other fucking disaster...
133
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:25,996
...or write another pilot.
Same shit, different year, you know.
134
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,224
Gotta keep the pool heated, right?
135
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,928
- So my son can defile it some more?
- Yeah.
136
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:35,065
The real question is,
what's next for Hank Moody?
137
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,640
Fuck if I know, man.
138
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:40,108
You know, I don't think
you should go work on another show.
139
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,140
- You don't think I have what it takes?
- No, you have it.
140
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,580
It's just a waste of what you have.
141
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,582
I think you should
write your own show.
142
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:51,684
Well, I appreciate that, but l...
I don't know what I'd write about.
143
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:55,020
I don't know about cops
or lawyers or doctors.
144
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:56,661
No, no, no, fuck that shit.
145
00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:58,990
Write about what you do know.
Write about you.
146
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:02,230
Write about your fucked-up friends.
147
00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:05,598
Write about your kids,
the ones you know about.
148
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,636
- Write about Karen.
- And Julia.
149
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:11,402
Write about Julia.
Just leave a little room in there...
150
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:14,205
...for someone to swoop in
and steal her away.
151
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,211
Just a little.
152
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,447
Think about it.
153
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,379
I will.
154
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:05,696
Hey, pretty lady.
155
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,196
Hey there, sailor.
156
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,399
- Charlie.
- Lisa.
157
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,001
What's the matter, Charlie?
You seem a little nervous.
158
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,144
I am, I am, I'm a little nervous, yeah.
159
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:22,474
- More than I thought I would be.
- What's there to be nervous about?
160
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:26,414
- You're just a guy talking to a girl.
- I suppose you're right. Yeah.
161
00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:28,450
- Can I buy you a drink?
- Sure.
162
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,350
- I like drinks.
- Krull?
163
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,354
Whatever the lady would like.
164
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,891
The lady wants a Jäger shot.
165
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,731
Same for the gentleman, I guess.
166
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,681
Married?
167
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:08,292
This old thing?
168
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,553
We have kind of
an arrangement, yeah.
169
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:16,293
- That's cool. I have a boyfriend.
- Right on, right on.
170
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,837
So, what did you have in mind?
171
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:24,799
A liaison, perhaps?
172
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,774
Oh, liaison?
173
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,471
I know a cheap little motel close by.
174
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:32,617
- Really? What would you do?
- Do?
175
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,650
To me in a cheap hotel?
176
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:37,152
To you, well, you know,
first I would kiss you.
177
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,314
No kissing. Not hot, not for a liaison.
178
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,323
No kissing. Okay.
179
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:45,692
I would... I would fondle your boobs.
180
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:47,722
Right? Because, you know.
181
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:51,495
And then I would maybe
get a sense of your ass, you know.
182
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:55,470
And then I suppose my penis
would make an appearance.
183
00:12:56,909 --> 00:13:00,174
Yeah, I would put it in your mouth.
And then I might take it out again.
184
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,440
Maybe I'd slap you on the forehead
with it a little bit for fun.
185
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,949
- Just for fun.
- Wow, you're a dirty little birdie, Charlie.
186
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,111
- You have no idea, Lisa.
- Really? What else? I like this game.
187
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:13,156
Okay, I'd pull down your pants.
I'd tear off your panties...
188
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,156
...and stuff them in your mouth.
- Nice.
189
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:18,194
Wrap the phone cord around your neck.
Not too hard, of course.
190
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,195
- Of course.
- I would like to, you know...
191
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,630
- Rough is fun.
- Holy shit.
192
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:28,135
You know what? You may just be
my sexual soul mate.
193
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,003
- Oh, that's sweet.
- And then I'd take you from behind.
194
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,145
I would fucking...
Oh, no, no, scratch that.
195
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,042
Not from behind because that's...
It gets me going too much.
196
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,740
It's too good. Yeah, like
two seconds, and I'd be done.
197
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,386
- No, we wouldn't want that.
- No, no. You know what?
198
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:45,547
Allow me to demonstrate something
for you that I like to call "la Runkle."
199
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,885
- Come here, stand up. Look at this.
- Okay.
200
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:51,052
I find that if I move in little circles...
201
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,028
...it keeps me in the game
far longer, far longer.
202
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,760
This simple change from this to that...
203
00:13:56,936 --> 00:14:00,064
...and it makes me last
a little bit longer.
204
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,899
- What the fuck is this?
- I beg your pardon?
205
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,875
Who's the clown?
206
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:16,388
This is Charlie.
Charlie, this is my boyfriend, Mack.
207
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,550
Charlie was just describing what he'd
like to do to me in a cheap motel.
208
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:23,388
Oh, yeah?
209
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,122
Wanna know what I'd do to you
in a cheap motel, Charlie?
210
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:27,390
Or even in a bar.
211
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,797
Come on, dirty girl, let's get naked.
212
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,310
What's up, Harpo?
213
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,644
- You got a great fucking body, seriously.
- Thanks.
214
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,480
Yeah, I wish the apple fell
closer to the bush on that.
215
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:51,248
- That's not...
- How do I get abs like that?
216
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,584
I would start by
laying off the fucking pizza.
217
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:55,351
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
218
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:58,325
This is a great idea.
I fucking love pizza-and-movie night.
219
00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:01,762
Just what the doctor ordered, you know?
So what if I'm unemployed now?
220
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,267
I talked to Rath and he's gonna
let you stay on for as long as he can.
221
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:08,565
- Yeah, but then what?
- Then you go out and get another job.
222
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,902
How will I luck into
another job like this one?
223
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:15,672
Maybe you don't luck into another job.
Maybe you go out and you find one.
224
00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:18,816
Yeah, that's never really worked for me.
225
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:21,743
I'm gonna throw some clothes on.
226
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,321
Hurry up, dude.
Pizza's gonna get cold.
227
00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:31,985
Fuck! God damn it.
228
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,268
Mom? Thank God, you gotta help me.
229
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:46,000
- Oh, my God. Hi.
- Hi.
230
00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:49,636
- You're Becca.
- Yes, I am. And you are?
231
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,774
Levon. I'm Levon. Hi.
232
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,284
Nice to meet you, Levon.
233
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,681
- You said my name right.
- Is that unusual?
234
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:00,449
Yeah.
235
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,620
I'm sorry, do you know about me?
236
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:06,188
- No.
- You don't know about me? Shit.
237
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,230
I'm looking for my father.
238
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,130
Yeah, he's getting dressed.
239
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:14,529
- Where's Charlie and Marcy?
- I don't know. They're weird.
240
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,870
- Yeah, they are.
- You're a lot hotter than your pictures.
241
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:22,636
- Thanks?
- I'm sorry, that's weird.
242
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,715
But your mom's totally hot,
makes sense.
243
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,879
- You know my mom?
- Yeah, she's cool.
244
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:30,044
- Super MILF-y. Where is she?
- Parking the car.
245
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:34,682
- So how do you know my father?
- Let's get this pizza-movie night started.
246
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,389
Becca.
247
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:52,575
So I met your strange little friend.
248
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,836
Yeah.
249
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,005
About my strange little friend...
250
00:16:57,182 --> 00:17:00,413
Will you just tell her already?
The suspense is killing me here, dude.
251
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,247
Tell me what?
252
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,087
I have some news.
253
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:07,248
- Yeah, me too. That's why I'm here.
- Great, you go first.
254
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:11,123
No, you first, dude. This is ridiculous.
I wanna give her a fucking hug already.
255
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,162
Why?
256
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,761
Can't do it, can you?
257
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:19,028
You're embarrassed of me.
I fucking knew it.
258
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:25,104
I wanted to tell you,
but I didn't wanna do it over the phone.
259
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:28,144
Got three bottles. Hope it's enough.
I know you like to drink.
260
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,578
Holy shit. Is this Becca?
261
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:37,279
Holy shit. Oh, my gosh.
It's so great to finally meet you.
262
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:40,050
- Who are you?
- I'm Julia. I'm Levon's mom.
263
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,159
Are you excited to meet your brother?
264
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:46,956
My brother?
265
00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:00,205
Missus, you back!
266
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:03,177
- Hi, Irma.
- You put perfect?
267
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:05,782
- Is he in?
- Yes, of course, he's in.
268
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:08,777
Marcy?
269
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:11,787
- Hi, Stu.
- Hi.
270
00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:14,357
- How are you?
- Never better.
271
00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:17,427
- Can we talk?
- Of course.
272
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,756
Alone.
273
00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:22,523
Irma, you hear the woman
of the house.
274
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,328
Be gone with you!
275
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:27,633
What can I do for you, Marcy?
276
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,135
I assume that the offer still stands?
277
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,675
Well, of course it...
278
00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:36,743
Don't toy with me, woman.
279
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,746
Are you in?
280
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,051
Yes, I'm in.
281
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,245
Okay.
282
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,589
Let's do it.
283
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,257
- Yeah.
- Come on.
284
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,654
Coming. Okay.
285
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:50,752
Okay.
286
00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:03,598
Okay, so just sign right here.
287
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:06,869
- Okay.
- And if you could initial here.
288
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,948
- Okay.
- Yeah, and right there.
289
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:13,016
- Okay.
- And we are done.
290
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,618
And I'll take that. Thank you.
291
00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:18,950
All right, so let's just...
Should we do this? Let's do this.
292
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,456
- What? What, now?
- Yeah.
293
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,290
Now. There's no time like the present.
I mean, let's get this shit over with.
294
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:29,594
- No offense.
- Yeah, let's just do it.
295
00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:32,203
- Let's do it now.
- Yeah.
296
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,262
Okay.
297
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:37,469
- Come here.
- Okay.
298
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,611
- Yeah.
- All right.
299
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,036
- Okay.
- I've missed you.
300
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:43,613
Okay.
301
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,874
Okay.
302
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,356
Okay. All right, Stu.
303
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:53,786
Maybe not now.
304
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,427
It's too much.
My head's not in the game.
305
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,995
- Can we just do this tomorrow?
- Absolutely, darling.
306
00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:01,098
It would give me more time to prepare.
307
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,734
- Okay.
- I need to groom myself.
308
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:05,733
Could use a wax.
309
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,997
- Do you want to...?
- To wax you before I fuck you for money?
310
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,268
No, Stu. God, no.
311
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,544
Understood, understood.
312
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,203
- So tomorrow.
- Okay.
313
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,905
- Okay.
- Tomorrow.
314
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:20,984
I will enter you tomorrow.
315
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,144
Yes, you will.
316
00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:25,916
- I can't wait.
- Yes.
317
00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:28,082
Good times. Yeah.
318
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,524
- Good times.
- Okay.
319
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,366
Tomorrow, my dear.
320
00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:18,608
Tonight...
321
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:24,345
...we practice.
322
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:32,985
Yeah.
323
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:37,019
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?
324
00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:39,894
- So you knocked up?
- Julia.
325
00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:42,898
Sorry, so you knocked up Julia...
326
00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:46,037
...before you met Mom?
- Oh, let's hope so.
327
00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:47,694
Oh, give me a break, Karen.
328
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:49,670
- Come on.
- I didn't think about that.
329
00:21:49,841 --> 00:21:52,207
You think he was sleeping with us
at the same time?
330
00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:54,572
Well, yeah, I mean,
I guess anything's possible.
331
00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:56,373
- It's Hank, right?
- You're right.
332
00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:58,641
Ladies, I'm right here.
333
00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:02,948
Yes, I impregnated Julia...
334
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:06,557
...just before I met your mom.
- Who you then quickly impregnated.
335
00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:10,058
- What a fucking baller, huh?
- Honey, don't talk like that.
336
00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:13,163
Sorry, just trying to keep it light.
My B, my B.
337
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,596
Honey, I know this is
a really shitty way...
338
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:18,736
...to find out about something
so huge, and I'm sorry.
339
00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:23,841
I don't know, given the story of my life,
this seems perfectly appropriate.
340
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:29,037
Yeah. So where do we go
from here, Becca?
341
00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,340
What do you mean?
342
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:35,751
What do you mean, what do I mean?
I have a fucking sister. How cool is that?
343
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,116
You have a fucking brother.
How cool is that?
344
00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:39,450
I don't know yet.
345
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,722
You're sarcastic, just like Dad.
346
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:46,830
- I love it, I wanna party with you, kid.
- Can you not call him that?
347
00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:49,262
But he's my father.
348
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:51,402
He's my father.
349
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:54,539
Okay, so he's our father.
Deal with it, Becca.
350
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:56,105
Hey, stop being such a dick.
351
00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:58,401
She's just absorbing
the information right now.
352
00:22:58,577 --> 00:23:01,876
- I knew you were gonna take her side.
- I am not siding with anyone.
353
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,481
It's all right. You love her more.
Why wouldn't you?
354
00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:06,708
She's your real kid.
That's your real family.
355
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,718
We're just the dirty
one-night stand of families.
356
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,480
I'm a retard, my mom's a slut.
357
00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,715
Honey, don't talk like that.
Behave yourself.
358
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,757
Look, he's... I'm sorry, he's emotional.
359
00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:19,761
Hey, will you four please
excuse me while I go hang myself?
360
00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:24,766
No, you don't get to do that.
You don't get to feel sorry for yourself.
361
00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:28,195
- Not even a little bit?
- No, this is your life. Deal with it.
362
00:23:28,373 --> 00:23:30,773
Yeah, this is your life,
Hank Moody. Deal with it.
363
00:23:30,942 --> 00:23:33,843
I am dealing with it.
364
00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:36,146
How was your trip, honey?
365
00:23:36,314 --> 00:23:38,578
It was amazing, actually.
366
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:42,242
That's fantastic. How was?
367
00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:45,954
Now is not the time to be a dick, Dad.
368
00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:48,683
Up high, sis.
369
00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:54,123
You're a little uptight.
Anyone tell you that?
370
00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:56,130
I'm not being a dick. L...
371
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:59,429
Seriously, I don't remember
the gentleman's name.
372
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,572
- Ross.
- Roscoe.
373
00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:03,799
Yeah, Roscoe. Good old Roscoe.
374
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:06,273
- Did he behave himself? Did...?
- Tread carefully.
375
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,278
- Why? What? I don't get it.
- Becca has news.
376
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:13,578
- She said that earlier, that she had news.
- Now's not the time, Mom.
377
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:16,346
- You're right. I'm sorry.
- No, no, no, now is the time.
378
00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:19,684
I just came clean. Your turn.
379
00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:25,121
I'm getting married.
380
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,128
- Congratulations.
- No, you're not.
381
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:30,632
- I am, Dad.
- No, you're not.
382
00:24:30,802 --> 00:24:33,396
Well, there's not a lot
you can do about it, is there?
383
00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:36,473
Aren't your hands full at the moment,
juggling two families?
384
00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:40,042
- Becca, this is ridiculous.
- Any more than this?
385
00:24:40,212 --> 00:24:42,874
I love weddings.
I mean, brother of the bride.
386
00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:45,016
Are you kidding me?
387
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,044
I'm invited, right?
Because I'll totally come.
388
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:51,155
- Honey, I think we should go.
- What about pizza-and-movie night?
389
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,984
- Do it another time.
- Don't bother.
390
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,648
- I wanna go home.
- Okay, sweetie.
391
00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:57,795
Wherever the fuck that is these days.
392
00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:21,647
Sorry, baby.
393
00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:24,046
For what?
394
00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:27,089
Where the fuck do I begin?
395
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,517
I'm not mad about Levon.
396
00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:32,686
It's kind of nice not being
the only child anymore.
397
00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:36,425
I look forward to
getting to know him, sort of.
398
00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:40,037
He seems amusing.
399
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,196
He is. He's a good kid.
400
00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:44,567
That's very mature of you
to acknowledge that.
401
00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:48,179
But that's not surprising. You were
always the mature one in the family.
402
00:25:48,346 --> 00:25:52,305
- Ain't that the truth?
- Yeah.
403
00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,912
So, what's all this
about you getting married?
404
00:25:56,087 --> 00:25:59,454
Just that. I'm getting married.
405
00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:02,121
I know you think
you're in love with this guy...
406
00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:05,058
Please, don't be
condescending right now.
407
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,494
In exchange, I promise
not to be condescending...
408
00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:10,931
...about your latest in a long line
of chronic fuck-ups.
409
00:26:11,102 --> 00:26:12,660
Deal?
410
00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:16,770
My chronic fuck-ups aside,
this is not a good idea, Becca.
411
00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:19,274
- Why?
- Because you're so young.
412
00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:24,507
I'm young, and you're older.
413
00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:27,841
Thank you. What's your point?
414
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:32,279
Looking back, can you honestly say
that you're happy you never got married?
415
00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:35,085
Didn't it basically doom you
to a lifetime of Ioneliness?
416
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:38,195
It's not about being married
or not being married, Becca.
417
00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:41,093
- What's it about, then?
- I don't know.
418
00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,530
Honestly, I couldn't tell you right now.
419
00:26:44,703 --> 00:26:47,433
But what are the odds that
this particular clown...?
420
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:51,372
This particular young gentleman
is the one?
421
00:26:51,810 --> 00:26:53,471
You're one to talk about odds.
422
00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:57,411
Didn't you get it right the first time?
Isn't that what you always brag about?
423
00:26:57,582 --> 00:27:00,016
What makes you so special?
Couldn't it happen to me?
424
00:27:00,185 --> 00:27:04,519
- Okay, so why the rush?
- Because he asked and I answered.
425
00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:07,715
And it feels right to me.
I'm trusting my gut.
426
00:27:07,892 --> 00:27:10,190
I'd think you of all people
could understand that.
427
00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:16,164
I cannot in good conscience
endorse this shit, Becca.
428
00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:21,704
You've got a lot of fucking nerve, Dad...
429
00:27:21,873 --> 00:27:24,842
...after all the shit you've asked me
to endorse over the years.
430
00:27:25,677 --> 00:27:26,837
That's fair, fair enough.
431
00:27:27,012 --> 00:27:29,446
I come home with good news,
great news...
432
00:27:29,614 --> 00:27:32,481
...the biggest news of my life,
and I can't even get it out...
433
00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:35,677
...before I'm confronted with
the wreckage of your fucking past.
434
00:27:41,726 --> 00:27:43,660
I'm sorry.
435
00:27:49,701 --> 00:27:53,569
I don't know what else to say.
436
00:27:54,205 --> 00:27:56,196
Yeah, me too.
437
00:27:57,842 --> 00:28:00,538
We're doing it in New York.
You can be a part of it or not.
438
00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:02,703
Totally up to you.
439
00:28:02,981 --> 00:28:04,881
But it's happening.
440
00:28:05,583 --> 00:28:09,075
And I'm not gonna let you
make me fucking miserable about it.
Ripped By mstoll